From a sister in Christ:
Excellent video, sweet sister! I’ve been reading through your blog because of this video and I must say, you’re much needed. So many women yearn for the truly harmonious marriage, but are unwilling (or unaware) to submit to the Lord in everything.
In an age where women have fought so hard to be equal, they’ve lost their identities, their domains and their freedoms.
I too, have a husband that makes it easy to submit to him. (Peacefulwife Video – My Husband Makes It Easy for Me to Submit to Him.) I think that a lot of people don’t realize that it’s not an “I’m the boss of you” sort of thing, but something that occurs when a wife is steadily deepening her relationship with Christ.
We long to please Him, and when we truly serve Him, then we automatically do what, to us, comes naturally. We love those around us, starting with our husbands. We are being “welded” together in the Spirit. Not only are they our husbands, but, they’re also our brothers in Christ.
When we love our husbands with the love that only comes through Christ, agape love, then we (usually subconsciously) feel what they feel, we take time to learn their signals. What’s hurting them, worrying them, insulting them. We use that information to strive to be a buffer between them and the world and to examine our own motives and actions.
It makes us content and pleased to see them come home from work, working hard to provide for us, to a place where he knows he’s loved, respected and appreciated. A place with no worry, where his favorite people are waiting with hugs and supper on the table.
My husband truly honors me. He’s a man’s man, but with me, he’s attentive, gentle and considerate. He never insults or complains. He knows he’s got my complete trust and respect and I know I have his.
I find it tragic, that so many women were fed the lie that their traditional roles weren’t good enough and that they somehow needed public validation. What they gave up was enormous. I am the queen of my domain. I have a beautiful home and lovely gardens. I can do with my time as I wish. I am of equal value to my husband, but I have a completely different role.
I chose to have a small, in home business, but my first priority, after God, which goes without saying, is my husband’s well being. My first “job” is making sure when he walks in this house, he’s going to be perfectly comfortable. He knows that if he’s had a rotten day, he’s got someone who will sit and listen, someone who will help him get his emotions back in order. He often tells me that no matter how horrible someone has acted that day, or no matter what went wrong, when he’s in a bear’s mood, that I always manage to use his situation in light of scripture and he’s able to quickly refocus and relax.
I love being a Christian wife with a Christian husband. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to compete with…myself. I love the harmony, each stepping in when the other misses a step. We don’t have “his and hers” jobs, he helps with laundry, I pressure wash the roof…this way, there are no “weaknesses”. We simply fill in each other’s spots so to speak. We have different strengths in different areas, so we compliment one another, according to God’s perfect plan.
I apologize for this novel, it just made my heart soar to see a (younger) version of me saying what I’ve been saying for years (but in person.)
I pray the Lord blesses this ministry and that many women are able to realize that a wife’s submission actually ends up affording her more power than she’d have if she were expending the effort to be “equal” with a man (the same as him). Who wants that job? They’ve got the worst part of it, lol!
We are all – men and women – of equal value as image bearers of God. And we are all of equal value in Christ.
So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise. Galatians 3:27-29
But we have different roles as women and men in the Body of Christ and in Marriage. Husbands are to portray the unconditional, selfless, sacrificial, humble leadership and love of Christ for His people, the church. And wives are to portray the adoration, unconditional love and respect, biblical submission, honor and faith of the church for Christ. Marriage is to be a beautiful picture of the mystery of the relationship and intimacy between Christ and His church. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Submission Means We Hold Things of This World Loosely (this post is primarily about our submission to Christ as Lord)
Can You Overdo Respect and Submission?
If you are a wife who is dealing with a husband who has active addictions to drugs or alcohol going on, or who is involved in infidelity, or who has uncontrolled mental health disorders or who is truly abusing you – please do not read my blog but rather seek in-person, experienced, trustworthy, godly, wise, biblical counsel or appropriate medical/legal counsel. I am not able to address these kinds of extreme situations on my blog. There are times when submitting to a husband who is not in his right mind is not safe or wise. There are times when boundaries must be set and sin has to be confronted.
Ultimately, I believe what every wife needs in such a situation is the power and wisdom of God. Our God is able to heal in every situation. There are wives in difficult circumstances who find healing here for their relationship with Christ and sometimes for their marriages, but there are also wives in these situations who hear me say things that I do not say and do not intend at all because of the vastly different perspective and “filters” wives in these situations may have. I would encourage you to seek help through Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, the Salvation Army, a trusted pastor or godly, biblical Christian counselor or to go to the police or a doctor depending on the situation rather than reading my blog if that is the case. I don’t want any wife to be unsafe or to misunderstand me and do something unwise.
Every one of us must take responsibility for our own decisions. We must all weigh what any human says against Scripture and decide if what a person is saying is biblical and true or not before we accept it. And we must seek God first. I don’t have all of the answers. I am not an expert. I still have a long way to go on this journey myself. I am just a human. God has all of the answers, wisdom, love, power and healing we need. He is the one who opens blind eyes and does miracles.