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She Submitted to Her Husband Without Knowing Christ Yet


I am so thankful for this precious sister in Christ who was willing to allow me to share her story after she read my post earlier “Am I Giving Marriage Advice to Non-Christians?” Especially if you are not yet a believer in Christ, I hope you will read her story! I don’t know that every wife’s story would look like hers, but, I believe her story will bless everyone who reads it! God used her to sharpen me yesterday. I am so excited to share,  I couldn’t wait for Monday, I just had to run it today!

When I was first married I believed in God, but my own fairy tale version of Him. I was raised Catholic, going to church and Sunday School every week, being confirmed into the church and everything but had never been encouraged to read the bible, to study scripture, or to learn His Word. I knew about the submission part of the Bible, but thought it was culturally irrelevant. My mother was quite a feminist and although she loves my father and they’ve been married for over 30 years she treats him with little respect. And he just takes it.
My marriage got off to a very very rough start. I wanted very much to be in control. And I thought my command-man husband was just mean and awful because he wouldn’t yield to me. I was better, of course (even if only in my own mind), so he was wrong, and I thought I had just made a bad choice in marrying him. It was often times more like a war zone then a marriage. Regardless in 2 years we had our first daughter and I accidentally got pregnant again (I love how God works). Things in our marriage were spiraling even farther downward. I was depressed, hurt, angry and lost. I remember just calling out to God and asking for help. I still wasn’t a true believer but I was desperate.

First I stumbled across the Love Dare, and started to try it. Not out of faith, but because it was either that or divorce and through it all I was still desperately in love with my husband so I did not want divorce. My husband responded very positively to the first few dares. It wasn’t long after that that I stumbled across the book The Surrendered Wife. I decided I had nothing to lose and gave surrendering everything I had. It was remarkable the change I saw in my husband. It was like night and day. And there was an even bigger change in me.

When I saw that this part of the Bible I had despised so much was actually a very powerful truth my whole world started to change.

All these ideas I’d had about the Bible and my false image of God started to crumble. I started to listen to my husband. Just many little things here and there. My husband had a deeper faith and understanding of God then I ever did, that I never knew about. All along I had believed I was superior to him in spirituality even when I was so far away (from God). All these lies I had believed started to crumble and I started to see the truth.

It still took a little while before I gave my life up to the Lord. But I believe that it was submitting to my husband that brought me to where I am now.

I believe submission is a powerful truth, something that anyone can benefit from, so I do hope that those that don’t believe, but want to improve their marriage might give it a try. In this submission, I hope it opens their eyes to the glory of our Lord as it did mine.

I know that the Lord led me on this path, I needed a husband just like mine that didn’t give in. I needed to see that His Word was true, even before I believed.

My marriage is now amazing. I adore my husband and see him in a whole new light. And he adores me in return. We now have 4 beautiful children, and have chosen to let the Lord bless us with as many as He sees fit. We have chosen to home school our children so now I get to raise them with the truth of Jesus.

Maybe an unbeliever doesn’t get to reap all the rewards from submission, but in my case I got the greatest reward. I was saved, I was given a relationship with God, and a love that I never knew existed. This brings tears of joy to me as I type.



This journey to become a godly wife is ALL about us and Jesus. Healing for our marriages and blessings for our husbands and children are secondary. How I pray each of you might find this joy, hope, faith and peace in Christ that I have found and this sister of ours has found! That is my greatest prayer for each of you!


How to Have a Relationship with Christ

I’m Right. I Know Best. I Should Be the Leader!

But, I’m a GOOD Person!

A Lightbulb Moment for a Wife Who Loves Control

Ways Husbands Lead That Wives Often Don’t Notice

My Husband Won’t Lead in Our Marriage

My Husband Isn’t Being a Good Enough Spiritual Leader

A Husband Answers a Wife – Why Won’t My Husband Lead?

Are Women Morally/Spiritually Superior to Men?

13 thoughts on “She Submitted to Her Husband Without Knowing Christ Yet

  1. Beautiful story! It’s amazing how many principles in the Bible are actually applicable even to unbelievers. It goes to show it’s not all wishy-washy fairytales, but Truth that has been ingrained in the fabrics of the Universe. A fundamental law, akin to gravity or conservation of momentum. 🙂

  2. I am literally crying tears of joy!!!! I love, love, love this story!!! Thank you so much for sharing this story of transformation within this wife. To God be the Praise! I pray for God’s work within wives like this every day. I am so over-joyed when I get to hear of His wonderful blessings of transformation.

  3. OUR GOD is awesome, indeed! Very inspiring story! Thanks for sharing… Is it possible to come directly in contact with this lady? Hugs to you all!

    1. Hisgraceissufficient,
      Isn’t this story amazing??? 🙂 you can find her comment on the previous post earlier in the week “am I giving marriage advice to non-Christians.”

  4. Can anyone help me. My wife is one of the subscribers of peacefulwife blog, she even distributes this website to everyone she is in contact with but still my marriage is going down the slippery slope to depression and divorce. I feel guilty. Did I not manage her initial enthusiasm well? I try talking to her about how unhappy I am in the marriage but she only seems to derive a sick sense of power from my complaints. In the advent of the peacefulwife blogs, I tell her (with colourful descriptions) what would make me more joyful and the things she could do to improve that but she tends to “play the role” of a submissive wife in a sarcastic way rather than portray a heartfelt genuine repentance and submission. On the surface, our marriage seems ok with no major tremors (because she plays the role) but there is no passion for anything. This disrespects me even further and there doesn’t seem anyone sensitive enough to identify her covert gameplaying and call her out on it. April, since she is one of your students, can you do something? At the moment I’m just avoiding her because I can’t stand this level of indifference to feelings and I am constantly made to sound petty when I speak with her. I am done!
    Thanks for reading.

    1. Truehusband,

      Thank you for sharing! I am sorry things are so difficult!

      If it is ok, I would love to get a bit more info from you…

      1. What is your wife’s relationship with Christ?

      2. What is your relationship with Christ?

      3. Is she doing anything RIGHT – that you could praise her for?

      4. How long has she been on this journey?

      5. What is it that you want her to do?

      6. What are you willing to do to make this journey easier for her?

      This is a VERY, VERY long journey. It is a lifelong process of sanctification for believers in Christ. The usual stages of the journey are that the outside stuff changes first. Usually wives begin to be more quiet as they realize that what they would usually say was disrespectful, but they don’t know how to speak respectfully yet. Then they begin to build their respect fluency by adding things they say that are respectful. The internal attitudes are the last things to change. They can only change by the power of God’s Spirit radically renovating our souls. He convicts us of sin. We repent. Then God helps us to rebuild everything in our hearts, minds and souls on the foundation of His Word. It is a total heart and mind change. This takes time.

      You may be interested in these posts:

      Stages of This Journey

      Learning to Respect and Give Up Control Is a Process

      This journey usually takes 1-3 years before a wife begins to feel like she has a clue what she is doing. Sometimes it is shorter. I have seen one wife completely change in a matter of months. Sometimes it is longer, it took me 2.5 years before I had any idea what it meant to respect Greg and to stop the disrespect and to begin to understand what biblical submission meant. It took Nina Roesner, author of The Respect Dare, 10 years to get to the point where she felt like she knew what she was doing.

    2. Truehusband,

      This post may be helpful for you

      For Hurting Husbands

      I pray that you won’t give up! Many husbands and wives find that if they focus on what God calls them to do and allow God to work on their spouse, God does miracles.

      I am praying for God’s greatest glory in your marriage and in your walk with Christ and in your wife’s walk with Christ!

  5. This was the perfect story for me to read today as I’m currently going through a similar situation…I am just starting my journey following Jesus and my husband is a non- believer. Now, as you can imagine, I am both equally excited about my new friendship with God and also anxious about how it could affect my marriage. The other day I was filled with a lot of anxiety thinking things like:

    What if my husband never believes?
    I’ve only just started this journey- how can I expect him to believe?
    Am I even technically a believer yet??
    If I’m a believer, does this mean I can’t be married to a non- believer?
    Will my husband ever see the Holy Spirit in me?
    Will this urge him to seek Jesus?

    The list goes on, but those are some of the *highlights*…

    Anyways, I was spiraling into a pit of depression trying to predict exactly how our relationship would play out in the future under all possible scenarios. I was crying, shaking, panicking…the mental and emotional agony felt insurmountable.

    Luckily, my cousin- who has been Christian for most of her life- sat and listened to my story. In the end she urged me not to rush in or out of anything or try to predict anything or run away with anything. She assured me that GOD IS VERY CREATIVE AND MY LIFE IS DESIGNED PERFECTLY. What a relief to hear this!

    So that day, I turned my focus from anxiety to prayer. I told Jesus that I would continue to pursue him and leave my relationship up to God. I let go of it all, and have been choosing to trust Him instead of myself to work it all out.

    Very soon after this, I found YOUR BLOG! I began reading about what it means to be a submissive wife. WIth my best intentions to always be seeking Jesus, I began to “submit” to my husband. I thought it was going to be a few big things I’d be submitting to here and there, but it turns out it’s a ton of small things every day! I didn’t even realize how many times a day you could choose to submit or not.

    Anyways, something AMAZING happened when I began doing this. Every time I chose to submit, instead of running up against resistance with my husband, I entered into ease with him instead! I don’t feel like I’m “losing myself” in him or not “having an opinion” on things. In fact, I’ve realized that he makes great decisions for us, and I can just go with the flow! It frees me up to focus on other important things.

    Also, my husband has since been more loving, caring, gentle, and kind than ever before. (And ironically, he asks me for my opinion more often!) I can tell he is happier, and there is a flow to our relationship that I’ve never experienced in the past. And may I add that our intimacy has skyrocketed!?

    It’s amazing that God knows how to speak to each one of us. For me, submitting to my husband may be the best way for God to begin revealing Himself to my husband without me having to “preach” about it.

    I don’t know if my husband will ever be a believer, and I don’t know what it will mean for us in the future. But what I DO know is that I can see my husband more at peace everyday, and our relationship is more loving and selfless everyday. My husband may not know why that is yet, but maybe one day he will.

    1. Nichole,

      Wow! Wow! Wow!!

      I absolutely love your story! I just have to praise and thank God for all He is doing in you and your husband and your marriage. I am so excited that already you are seeing benefits to obeying God, increased peace, increased communication, increased intimacy emotionally.

      There are many wives whose husbands are not believers. Once you are married, God’s will is for you to stay married. Your cousin gave you such godly wisdom!!! I Peter 3:1-6 is GOD’SWOR prescription for wives in your situation.

      I hope you might prayerfully consider allowing me to share this testimony as an anonymous post? No pressure. But this is just such an incredible story of the sovereignty and wisdom of God and the blessings of obeying and fully submitting to Christ.

      I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you and your husband! Woohoo!!!

      1. Yes, of course you may share it! I think if more women shared their honest, vulnerable stories, we’d all help lift each other up! Thank you for being one of those women 🙂

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