I am so thankful for this precious sister in Christ who was willing to allow me to share her story. I don’t know that every wife’s story would look like hers, but, I believe her story will bless everyone who reads it! God used her to sharpen me yesterday.
When I was first married I believed in God, but my own fairy tale version of Him. I was raised Catholic, going to church and Sunday School every week, being confirmed into the church and everything but had never been encouraged to read the bible, to study scripture, or to learn His Word. I knew about the submission part of the Bible, but thought it was culturally irrelevant. My mother was quite a feminist and although she loves my father and they’ve been married for over 30 years she treats him with little respect. And he just takes it.
My marriage got off to a very very rough start. I wanted very much to be in control. And I thought my command-man husband was just mean and awful because he wouldn’t yield to me. I was better, of course (even if only in my own mind), so he was wrong, and I thought I had just made a bad choice in marrying him. It was often times more like a war zone then a marriage. Regardless in 2 years we had our first daughter and I accidentally got pregnant again (I love how God works). Things in our marriage were spiraling even farther downward. I was depressed, hurt, angry and lost. I remember just calling out to God and asking for help. I still wasn’t a true believer but I was desperate.
First I stumbled across the Love Dare, and started to try it. Not out of faith, but because it was either that or divorce and through it all I was still desperately in love with my husband so I did not want divorce. My husband responded very positively to the first few dares. It wasn’t long after that that I stumbled across the book The Surrendered Wife. I decided I had nothing to lose and gave surrendering everything I had. It was remarkable the change I saw in my husband. It was like night and day. And there was an even bigger change in me.
When I saw that this part of the Bible I had despised so much was actually a very powerful truth my whole world started to change.
All these ideas I’d had about the Bible and my false image of God started to crumble. I started to listen to my husband. Just many little things here and there. My husband had a deeper faith and understanding of God then I ever did, that I never knew about. All along I had believed I was superior to him in spirituality even when I was so far away (from God). All these lies I had believed started to crumble and I started to see the truth.
It still took a little while before I gave my life up to the Lord. But I believe that it was submitting to my husband that brought me to where I am now.
I believe submission is a powerful truth, something that anyone can benefit from, so I do hope that those that don’t believe, but want to improve their marriage might give it a try. In this submission, I hope it opens their eyes to the glory of our Lord as it did mine.
I know that the Lord led me on this path, I needed a husband just like mine that didn’t give in. I needed to see that His Word was true, even before I believed.
My marriage is now amazing. I adore my husband and see him in a whole new light. And he adores me in return. We now have 4 beautiful children, and have chosen to let the Lord bless us with as many as He sees fit. We have chosen to home school our children so now I get to raise them with the truth of Jesus.
Maybe an unbeliever doesn’t get to reap all the rewards from submission, but in my case I got the greatest reward. I was saved, I was given a relationship with God, and a love that I never knew existed. This brings tears of joy to me as I type.
This journey to become a godly wife is ALL about us and Jesus. Healing for our marriages and blessings for our husbands and children are secondary. How I pray each of you might find this joy, hope, faith and peace in Christ that I have found and this sister of ours has found! That is my greatest prayer for each of you!
How to Have a Saving Relationship with Christ
I’m Right. I Know Best. I Should Be the Leader!
A Lightbulb Moment for a Wife Who Loves Control
Ways Husbands Lead That Wives Often Don’t Notice
My Husband Won’t Lead in Our Marriage
My Husband Isn’t Being a Good Enough Spiritual Leader
A Husband Answers a Wife – Why Won’t My Husband Lead?