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Readers Share How They Honor Their Husbands As Fathers

father and son

Thanks to everyone who shared! I pray that we might learn some new ways to show our husbands honor and respect as fathers this week that might become new habits and traditions we continue to do for many years. I am not going to be able to have much computer access this week, but I will check in when I am able to. I am praying for y’all! 🙂

TJFW:

My husband loves strange or unique-sounding foods or garnishes. Seriously, the more bizarre sounding, the better. I, on the other hand, like things very “clean” and ordinary. I’m not much into food for the sake of enjoyment, though, so I know I’m not the most fun person to eat with. He likes to try things with my mom because she likes unusual eats as well. You should see the joy on his face when he very selectively picks out something to bring to my mom’s for them to try. It’s so cute.

Anyway, I have this tradition every Father’s Day of, along with his regular gift, giving him a basket full of the strangest foods I can find. Last year the basket included some bizarrely flavores boar meat and jars of something funky-looking that I couldn’t identify because it was written in German. He was like a kid in a candy store.

J:

I too struggle with this as we are a blended family and I have a daughter and my husband has a son and we have 2 of our own. My husband used to be harsh with my daughter (I think this is a very, very common problem). He is much better than we was, but can still be a little dismissive at times. I have learnt to let the little things go and really appreciate any positive things I see happening, it is so easy to focus on negatives. It’s been hard not to keep controlling their relationship, so I’ve prayed a lot about it.
Now I am just grateful for each day he’s around and he is ok with the kids, if he does have to tell them off, I don’t usually say anything or get involved and it is always for a reason, so I am not so panicky now. I used to be very overprotective. I am not completely 100% trusting that he wont be harsh but I am leaving God to work that out in time. So just to say, you are not alone, but just to focus on any positives and try to be supportive if he has to discipline them, I usually say something like, “Listen to Daddy,” or ,”Lets do as Daddy says, shall we”…and I try to sound supportive. I really believe that things are a lot better, I have learned so much from this blog. If there is something I don’t agree with, I calmly asked what happened and then say, “Well if Daddy had said this or that, then that is how he feels about it,” ..and then don’t mention it again.

In the past I have had to very carefully mention things that I have not agreed with in a calm way when the kids are in bed. I have also learned that being respectful does not mean letting a husband get away with mistreating you or your children, I have had to love my husband but also be really tough at times. It has paid off, and we are still together! I’m not giving up and we both really love each other,

L:

My husband was much tougher on my boys than I wanted him to be. When they would injure themselves in sports, he would make them to keep playing, unless it was a very bad injury. I thought he was being cruel {I wanted to baby them!} but my boys have grown up to be men, strong men that can face the challenges of this world. I am so happy I didn’t interfere with his parenting my children. Our children only have one father to father them and we, as wives, must allow them to do that since we are not their father.

B:

My husband likes a clean orderly house so every day before he gets home I make my girls go through the house & clean up all their toys & books. I always tell them, “It’s almost time for Daddy & we know he likes a clean home, so let’s get this place tidy before he gets here.” Then before they go to bed I have them clean up anything they may have drug out after he got home so that when we wake up the house is neat & clean as well. I think it’s important that he leaves & comes home to a house he feels comfortable in. My girls are always happy to help clean up their mess when they know it’s for Daddy & something that makes him happy.
I feel this is one way I am teaching them to honor & respect their father’s wishes with a joyful heart & without expecting anything in return.

MC:

My husband and I are having our first child in early November. After much thought and prayer, I wanted to begin honoring my husband as a father. I decided to have my husband carry the sole responsibility in naming our child. We believe that a name is a prophetic declaration over a person’s life. For example, my name means “covering.” I interpret it as one who intercedes and also that I am covered (goodness and mercy follow/covers me). What better way to begin respect than to have my husband to be the first to utter our child’s prophetic destiny? At first, he felt it should be a team effort. As I explained to him that for nine months I carry baby, I go through labor and deliver baby, my body sustains baby after birth — all with him as my support. I want to stand and support the name he chooses for our child.

Once this sunk in, his eyes just lit up and he has risen to the call.

J:

I will tell you what my mother did for my dad to honor him.

My mom NEVER had a bad word to say about my dad. She was forever his cheerleader. She ALWAYS told us children how great and good of a man he was. She ALWAYS lived her life so as to make him happy. She ALWAYS let him take the lead. Here’s an example: My dad was a big fan of his alma mater. To honor him and bring enjoyment to his life, our family time largely consisted of us singing the songs of his alma mater, with her playing them on the piano as we all sang, with him leading the singing!

P:

My husband always said that I should respect and submit to him in front of children, then the children will honor the father and also the mother. If we argue with our husband in front of kids they will grow up dishonoring Dad and Mom.

For the past one year I’ve been submitting and honoring my husband I can see a big difference in our kids behavior towards their Dad and ME too.

R:

Something that we’ve been doing for sometime now is loudly applauding when my husband comes through the door, home from work. It happens usually at least 1 to 2 times a week when he comes home early enough for my kids to still be up. They now do this with or without me and really enjoy celebrating his coming home. If we must start dinner before he gets home the kids pray that he returns to us safely. My husband doesn’t comment on this but I think it’s something we all enjoy. Occasionally he’ll lead the kids to clap when I come home from work too. It certainly sets the mood for a nice evening.

RELATED:

Why Should I Submit to My Husband in the Little Things?

10 thoughts on “Readers Share How They Honor Their Husbands As Fathers

  1. Something great happened to me yesterday (not linked to fathers as we’re not parents yet, but I wanted to share!):
    I asked my husband’s advice on an issue I was having at work, and rather than placating me or ignoring it he actually told me he thought I was wrong. It might not sound that great, but he was so clear in his explanation that I understood my mistake.

    I am very glad that I’m in this position and my husband felt able to tell me about it. I don’t think I would have been able to take the “criticism” a couple of months ago, and I would probably have argued back/defended myself rather than actually listening.

    Thank you for all of your good advice, it supports all of us on our journeys.

    1. That’s awesome, sister! There is so much clarity under the canopy of our husband’s authority if we choose to operate there! All those little moments / conversations will add up to a really great marriage! Praise Yahweh for the change he’s making in you!

  2. This comment is for J: struggling with blended family. I grew up as the daughter in this situation, and it hasn’t been an easy road with my dad and mum. One thing I wild have appreciated more growing up is seeing them act as a team- even if my dad was being sinful and harsh towards me, having my mum on a different side dismissing him made the problems in our family worse. You are going about this in a Godly way, and I know your family will benefit from this. To this day, my mum takes the side of the children instead of her husband, and it’s definitely caused many problems. I have my own issues with my dad, but one thing I do understand is that their marriage should have come first. Don’t give up! Keep praying and asking God for wisdom. 🙂

  3. Hello all! I am a new wife of 8 months, and am fighting to become a Godly wife. It has been hard, and already I have seen how selfish, how prideful and wicked my heart is without Christ in the lead. I have a question that I am hoping to get some insight from the community here at peaceful wife.

    I want to be respecful to my husband, to honor him and never to demean him. I understand that it is through this model God designed that blessing will come 🙂 So my question is this:

    My husband is a man who loves the Lord and desires to become like him, though (as we all have), there are certain areas that are still yet being shaped and molded.

    He is on-call on occasion for work, and sometimes works late hours. During these times my husband can become very negative and complain a lot to me about the fact he has to work during that time. I then find myself becoming negative about his attitude in my heart, though I try to keep it to myself (although I’m sure it comes out in subtle ways). How can I respond to him, while keeping my heart free from sin – and without disrespecting him by telling him I think he has a wrong attitude? I don’t want to attempt to be the Holy Spirit in his life (I have tried much and most assuredly failed!) and I know he turns away from me when I do. Any advice welcome! Please don’t hold back.

    Thanks peaceful community!

    1. Hi, so wonderful that you seek to honor the lord by living according to his word. I think it is right you do not try to change his attitude for the bible teaches we are not to minister to our husbands. I understand that it is difficult not to get dragged along when he is negative. I myselve am often on the opposite site being the negative one. What helps me is that my husband manages mostly to stay positive it cheers me up even if he sometimes will not notice immediatly.
      What helps the most is when he brings my attention to other things that are positive. I do not think it helps if you say come on it is not that bad or anything that denies his feeling about the work or the time he has to work. You could refrain those times from asking hi did you have a nice day or did the work go well and offer instead a happy smile, hey glad you are home want some coffee, if he needs rest just let him be, give him some time and space to let his burdens ease off. And do not take it personally
      I am just now reading a book I was adviced here it is called the normal christian live by Watchman Nee.
      It is really awsome in helping me to understand how to let go and to let God. Blessing to you.

    2. Something my husband did yesterday was to simply comment in a happy voice whoa my dear, in a grumpy fase are you, than smiled and gave me a kiss.
      It made me feel convicted and ashamed, I had not heard him comming so he caught me while I was loudly uttering my anger about the whole world and my live in general but at the same time his loving way to handle my anger and negative attitude and not let it disturb him helped me to more easely step over both my anger and my shame so afterwards I did not dwell on it.
      I know it is not easy to not be influenced if your spouse is angrily disturbed and turns negative on everything. Those times I did disturbe my husband and made him sad or angry made me even feel more ashamed yet it did not help me to get over my negative attitude. And I was really nasty saying things like I hate everything, I do not like my live or this place I would rather drop dead and worse. So I know I did hurt my Husband deeply who just wanted to see me happy.
      Yet he often is able to stay his own ground to show me a happyand forgiving attitude and you know it convicts me even more for sure thing he does not deserve my meanness.
      It heaps hot coals on my head and I know I really really need to change my attitude and my angry temper.
      My husband though accepts me including this bad part.
      Once I asked him how he could. He said . Well I promised to do so when I married you.
      I guess that is what it boils down to. He honors his promise to me and before God. I was greatly humbled by that and it makes me wanna try, that is why I am here and why I know I need to learn submission. And above all let go and let God
      For even when I am onlovable he seeks out the lovable thing in me and honors that in stead of the onlovable thing.
      In his way to me he shows me Christ.
      My dear sister convince your heart that his attitude is just that an attitude, when you feel you do need to adress it just do it brief and loving and do not expect change immediatly.
      These attitudes are hard to overcome. Look at the post april has about confronting your husband with sin.
      Hope this helps
      Be blessed

    3. Kala,

      When he complains and feels overworked and overwhelmed, SMILE, hug him, THANK HIM for what a great provider he is. Ask what you can do to lighten his burden and to bless him.

      Much love!

  4. Tabitha,

    Wow. Thank you so much for both of your thoughtful comments. I am very blessed that you would open up part of your life to try and help give me perspective. You have certainly succeeded. Your examples and advice have provided me a model for how I should respond to my husband.

    Your humility and your insight is so beautiful, and it truly helps me, having it come from an opposite perspective. I know that there are areas where I can become negative as well. Your husband sounds like a wonderfully forgiving man who demonstrates the example of Christ.

    I have found it very difficult to be quite as forgiving and loving, though I know there is no fault anywhere but in my own heart. There are times, I must confess, that I want to be bitter – I want to tell God, “It’s my husband’s fault I am upset” but I have no excuse for sin in my own life. Anyway, I am rambling on to a different topic now!~ Again, thank you kindly for all you have shared. May God bless you with the gift of His presence in all you do.

    Kala

    1. Kala,
      it made me happy I could help this way. Writing this answer gave me help as well for It made me aware how beautifull the reaction of my husband was and I am sure blessed have him to trust in and to lead me.
      Yeah I know forgiveness can be really hard but when I remember what our Lord has done for oss and how we are forgiven than it is not so hard any more.
      But to be forgiven in this gracious way my husband so freely offered, softened my heart and killed my anger better than any harsh words could do. It eased my shame and made me feel deeply loved
      It has not come easy for him though. Many a time I have seen him stuggle with it. Sadly though it made me then both sad and angry. It was like losing the battle on all fronts.I could answer back yeah right, I am not to get angry guess I have to always be nice and kind well I can’t okey just get that. ouch if I missed feeling ashamed there it would often come in but alas I would not give in, I just stayed angry till it eased off and then I was really ashamed of myselve.
      But If my husband can be strong somehow this makes me stronger as well. And him getting sad because of my dumm anger made me painfully aware of my failure. thus sometimes even adding to my anger.
      In my silly anger I have often hurt both him and myself and God.
      I wish I could promise from now on I will never get negative again and stop complaining about all and everything. I am afraid though it is a promise that will often be broken.
      That is why the book from Nee so gripped me. No I cannot but My Lord, Jesus He can and He lives inside of me.
      Here comes the power of let go and let God.
      He can do this in me.
      I am so filled with this now I just cannot stop telling.
      It is just awesome knowing that Jesus cares about this angry woman that I am and wants to change me inside out.
      This I cannot do, but He can!
      It is a slow and sometimes painfull proces. For sin efter sin is brought before me and I then want to go and dig a hole and hide in it but I cannot for what the Lord is doing is bringing to light all these things so I can let go and I am blessed that my husband is there to help me on this road.
      Be blessed you to

    2. Kala,

      Thank you for sharing!

      I have met MANY wives who love their bitterness and don’t want to give it up. I was that way, too, for many years. 🙁 Bitterness, resentment, pride, self-righteousness and unforgiveness were some of my bigger sins, not to mention idolatry (of being in control, of feeling loved, of my husband, of self).

      I have some posts about bitterness that may be helpful. You can search my home page for “bitterness.”

      I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for your life!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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