“Refined” Shares Several Lightbulb Moments

from www.outsetministry.org
from www.outsetministry.org

In response to “Experiencing God’s Victory over Our Fear” A wife was concerned that if she “dies to self” she would have to resign herself to the idea of “never being happy again.” That is something that many of us wrestle with before we submit fully to Christ. In fact, I can’t even count how many times I have heard that exact line of thought.  Of course, it is a lie from the enemy!

Please check out how our sister, “Refined,” responded. I know you will be greatly blessed! 

I agree with April and the happy (because I got what I wanted) vs. joy (because I died to self and am now living for what God wants).

For me it’s been akin to an alcoholic learning to live sober. Of course living sober has so many more options in life and I have greater ability to choose my steps, my own destiny than be enslaved to this illusive concept of “happy.” But if a person has gotten used to living in the dark, how can she fathom what the sunlight is like? You don’t begin to understand the weight of your choice to die to self v. trying to get happy until after you’ve chosen that path on faith.

Nothing in you will feel good about it. You will have withdrawals!

Just last night I learned a bit more about the 3 types of men God created and I felt knocked on my tail. I couldn’t figure out if my husband was really a visionary or a commander. Either way, what knocked me down was how I could totally miss FOR TEN YEARS that God had a purpose for this man so much greater than making me the center of his universe.

My desire to feel loved and be happy created such a small life for us and I feel, at best, it was a great distraction from the larger plans God had for our family.

I literally felt totally disgusted. In the story about Moses winning a war because Joshua was fighting out front while Aaron and Hur held up his arms (Ex 17:8 – 13), can you imagine the outcome if either Joshua, Aaron or Hur argued with Moses rather than submitting to his instructions? Can you imagine Hur saying, “But Moses, I don’t feel important just holding up your left arm, how about I do something else more in line with my status?” or if Aaron said, “This isn’t fair! I can’t even see the battle from here, I feel so left out. You don’t really care about me!” What if Joshua said “I’m obviously so much more spiritual than Moses…he has me out here fighting when he’s sitting up there on that rock.”

My marriage is an amazing opportunity to take part in glorifying God. It is an awesome privilege that He would include me in any part of “His kingdom come” and here I was totally oblivious to such mercy! How many battles have we lost – not because of my husband’s humanness – but because of my inability to fall in line with God’s design?

The fear I had to fight this morning was that voice that said, “See, you’ve messed up so much! Why would God want to use you now? Why would your husband want to love you now?” And I remembered what a priest told me not so long ago – that sometimes God writes straight with crooked lines. What the devil would use to condemn me, my God can use to make me that much more qualified to be used by Him. These episodes of fear, rather than being yet another stumbling block, can be stepping stones to heights I couldn’t fathom from down below. I am now more ready to take my place in God’s plans than when I first said, “I do” because now I understand better what my place is and the immeasurable greatness of His glory. With humility, I accept that honor. “Happiness” doesn’t hold a card to that kind of joy.


Those amazing videos Refined is talking about are from my new friend, Carla Shellis, at https://www.mysparkleliving.com. I LOVED them, too. So powerful.

Here is the one about the 3 kinds of men for any of the ladies who missed it.

And here is the one about submission being a way for us to help our husbands “hold the shield” in front of our families (Submission is a Shield Part 2) in a powerful way. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this illustration. It is so worth your time, ladies!


I love what God is doing in you!!! WOOHOO!

I can’t wait to see all that He has in store for each of us.


My Demon