Usually today is prayer day. But my schedule has been suddenly disrupted this week – which is fine. God is certainly sovereign over that.
I have been wanting to share this post and am so excited to get to share it today with you.
From Rev. Harold Weaver’s marriage class, posted with permission. (Rev and Mrs. Weaver celebrated their 50th anniversary about a year ago.)
Please focus primarily on the needs of husbands. 🙂 If we allow ourselves to get too caught up in our own needs, it can often lead us to spiral into sin – particularly for wives who have tended to be controlling/disrespectful. I know it can for me! If things are not going well and you are feeling very discouraged or unsatisfied in your marriage, I encourage you to skip the needs of a wife and go directly to the needs of the husband – if you have already shared your needs many times, in particular. It is entirely possible to turn these legitimate needs into idols (things we put above Christ and seek to fulfill in illegitimate ways) if we are not careful to find all of our contentment, identity, security, peace, joy, purpose, acceptance, strength and hope in Christ alone. I have linked the class notes for each of the husbands’ needs so you can find out much more detail about each of the points about husbands.
Each of the basic needs of a husband has a link to the class notes on that heading that may be very helpful, as well. Enjoy!
7 BASIC NEEDS OF A WIFE
1. A wife needs the stability and direction of a husband who is functioning as the spiritual leader of his family.
2. A wife needs to know that she is meeting vital needs in her husband’s life and work that no other woman can meet.
3. A wife needs to see and hear that her husband cherishes her and that he delights in her as a person.
4. A wife needs to know that her husband understands her by protecting her in areas of her limitations.
5. A wife needs to know that her husband enjoys setting aside quality time for intimate conversation with her.
6. A wife needs to know that her husband is aware of her presence even when his mind is on other matters.
7. A wife needs to see that her husband is making investments in her life that will expand and fulfill her world.
7 BASIC NEEDS OF A HUSBAND
1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.
2. A husband needs a wife who accepts him as a leader and believes in his God-given responsibilities.
3. A husband needs a wife who will continue to develop inward and outward beauty.
5. A husband needs quality time to be alone with himself and with the Lord.
6. A husband needs a wife who is grateful for all he has done and is doing for her.
7. A husband needs a wife who will be praised by other people for her character and her good works.
AN UPDATE FROM GRACEALONE:
(From Peacefulwife – GraceAlone has had some very large tests in the past month and has had to face some of her greatest fears. There is often a time of great testing spiritually as we walk this road. So, don’t be surprised, my precious sisters, when those trials and tests come! We will all have them.)
So things have been going pretty good. God is definitely at work in my life. Slowly (sometimes extremely slowly), I’m seeing that I’ve got to keep working on my heart and my motives- this is tough!
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve said, “This is tough.”
However, I’m starting to see certain changes occurring. I still mess up at times, but try to just ask forgiveness from God and my husband and move on. I’ve noticed that my times of messing up seem to be fewer and farther between. Is the temptation to be disrespectful still there? Yes, at times that temptation is there. But, I try to remind myself that giving in to that temptation to be disrespectful only makes me feel worse in the end.
I have noticed that my husband seems to be genuinely concerned more for my well being. He seems to be trying more to make me happy.
I still struggle with me desire for children and intimacy, but something you said to me a few weeks ago just really hit me, it’s something we have all heard many times before, yet so true and this time really hit home for me. Anyway, you basically were just telling me to live and enjoy each day with my husband as a blessing from God and as if it were our last. When you constantly try to have that mindset, you are so much less focused on what your husband may or may not be doing for you to meet your needs.
I am still a very selfish person (something I am trying to work on and trying to let God work on me about it too), I still long for physical and emotional connections with my husband probably more than anything, and I still long for children, but I am learning that God cares about those desires too, and He is able to do much more with them than I ever could.
I am seeing that all that negative stuff I just kept piling on my husband day after day, year after year, he in turn began to put up a physical and emotional barrier that is so huge, that it will take years of God’s Spirit working in me and enabling me to be the respectful wife he created me to be to begin to chisel at that wall. There is still much work to be done in my life – God still has so much refining to do me.
If I’m not careful I can easily focus on the fact that my husband hasn’t changed in the areas I really want him to (yet), but I try to catch myself and focus on the small areas he has changed on. I thank God that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6 I’m still a work in progress, but God is faithful.