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GodlyWifetoBe Begins Her Journey

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There are SO MANY women (hundreds and hundreds) who want to email me on a daily basis. What a wonderful “problem” to have!  But it is also an issue that weighs very heavily on my mind. I WANT to be able to mentor everyone!!!!!  This was not a problem when I just got a small(er) number of emails per day. But I have learned the hard way that I can’t personally mentor everyone – even though it completely breaks my heart that I have these human limitations! And, I am still having a very difficult time with my eyes if I stay on the computer too long or read too much – so I do need to limit my computer time pretty drastically to just 2 hours/day – which is essentially the time it takes to blog and respond to comments.  

God is sovereign – and I know He will use even this issue  with my eyes for His greatest glory! I totally trust Him.

PEACEFULWIFE MENTORING PROGRAM:

What I am doing is taking 2-3 wives at a time who are willing to allow me to share some of our correspondence (anonymously), emailing with them, then sharing their journeys as blog posts.  Right now that is GraceAlone and GodlyWifetoBe.  I  will be ready to take on another wife in the next 2 weeks, God-willing. 

  • If anyone is interested in me working with you, emailing you and then anonymously sharing our correspondence as a series of posts (or maybe just one post, depending on the situation), please leave me a comment. Let me know if you believe you just need one session or if you need more than that, please. It will be mostly first come, first serve, but I will also be considering which wives situations will be most helpful to all of the wives who read my blog. 🙂

Requirements for a wife to participate:

  • You must be willing to put in time daily (unless providentially hindered, of course) with God for your own Bible study and fervent prayer, seeking to abide in Christ and to be filled with His Spirit. This is your power source – If you are not plugged in, I cannot possibly begin to help you.
  • You must be willing to believe that the Bible is the absolute truth of God and His wisdom and that all ungodliness and worldliness has to go and you must be willing to toss out everything you think you know about marriage, being a woman, God and living as  Christian and build your life on Christ and His Word alone.
  • You must be willing to focus on asking God to change you, not your husband. This is ALL about you and Jesus.
  • You must be willing to want to learn to find all of your contentment in Christ alone and to completely submit to Him as LORD of ALL in your life – even if you don’t know how right now, you must be willing to want to do this.
  • It does take a lot of courage to share stories publicly like this. Some of GraceAlone’s posts have had over 1300 views already, and will have more as time goes on. And some posts on my blog end up eventually having 30,000 or even 100,000 views. I want wives to be sure they are ok with this before asking me to commit time to them. My time is, sadly, very limited.
  • You must be willing to do the hard, painful work yourself. I can point you to Christ, but I cannot change anyone. I also cannot open anyone’s eyes. Only God can do that. And I cannot do the actual wrestling with God for you. That will be for you and God to hash through together privately.
  • I want to protect people’s privacy. I don’t want to divulge details that will make it obvious exactly who a wife or her husband is. Your privacy and your husband’s privacy are very precious to me. So we are not going to use this format to attempt to trash a husband publicly. I want to be sure wives know this up front.
  • You must be willing to focus on your end of the marriage relationship and your relationship with Christ. We may share some of the details, to a degree, of what is going on in your marriage in the first post, especially, so that wives will have a general idea of what is going on. But – then, the focus will be on you, not on your husband. You cannot change your husband. I cannot change your husband. The only person you have any control over is yourself. (Control and Boundaries) We are not going to spend any time talking about how your husband needs to change or what he should do. That is between him and God. Our focus will be only on your walk with Christ, your sin, your behavior, your obedience to God, your becoming a godly woman by the power of Jesus working in you.
  • You must be willing to accept that your husband may not ever change. If you want to do this journey with Jesus – your prayer has got to be “Change me, bless my husband.” There are no guarantees here that your husband will change. But if you are willing to seek God with all your face, I CAN guarantee you that He will radically change YOU! 🙂 And that is the whole point!
  • You must be willing to accept biblical truths and be willing to repent of any sin in your own life. If you refuse to repent of sin, I cannot begin to help you. You will be stuck. If you hold on to pride, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, gossip, lust, greed, idolatry, envy, materialism, worldliness, etc… you cannot have the full power of God’s Spirit flooding your life and you won’t have the power to be the wife God commands you to be. Every trace of sin has to go. Will we stumble? YES. Then we confess our sin to God, repent and ask Him to empower us to live and walk in obedience again.

 

HERE IS A SECRET, MY PRECIOUS SISTERS (AND BROTHERS):

If you are willing to put Christ first and seek Him with all your heart and you are willing to fully submit to Him and learn from Him – you don’t actually need me! I had no mentor. It was just God, me, the Bible, His Spirit and over 30 godly marriage books in 2 years.

He is your Shield and your Very Great Reward. (Genesis 15:1)  If you have the willing spirit that I have described above – God will be free to do miracles in your life. It will be up to Him what He decides to do and up to you to decide how much control you are willing to give Him. But I am thrilled to have the privilege and honor of being a part of this journey for many of you.

You are all welcome to comment and discuss on the posts and on my Youtube channel, April Cassidy. 🙂   If you have questions, you are welcome to ask. I may have a post that addresses that issue or I may be able to use your question for a future post. 🙂 Or there may be other believers here with experience that can give you biblical counsel. I believe you will find a great deal of support, encouragement, prayer, godly counsel and wisdom here! That is my prayer for each of you.

And, you are ALWAYS welcome to share your testimony of what God is teaching you and doing in your life. We all love to hear those! 🙂

 

FROM GODLYWIFETOBE:

The main areas I think I need help with are

  • respecting my husband
  • forgiving my husband
  • enjoying his company.

Hmmm… Well, I haven’t been sitting down studying the Word of God. I work in a Christian environment, so I’m surrounded with God’s Word and people daily, but I haven’t been sitting down reading the Word solely on its own. I read blogs and sermon snippets etc. I LOVE worship music, and that’s how I feel really connected to God and let a lot of my emotions out. So I do need to READ the Word…but I just don’t want to read a verse on my phone app…that’s like a slap in the face to God I think…so I guess I just don’t do it hoping that looks better to Him than doing it half heartedly..

Potential idols…I think

  • having a godly marriage is something I want
  • having the perfect husband
  • being completely happy

Sins would be

  • my pride…I do think I know more than my husband
  • forgiving but letting bitterness take root if I don’t see changes
  • not having sex with my husband? Does that count as one? I have no desire to have sex with him…we have sex 2 times a month probably. A lot of that comes down to me being tired after work, him not meeting my emotional needs that I long for, him having a lack of hygiene, him being out and not home.

You also asked about bitterness and I know that I have the potential to fall into bitterness. I’m not so sure I’m bitter at God, I just wonder sometimes what He’s doing and if He’s hearing my heart’s cry…

FROM PEACEFULWIFE:

My sweet girl!!!!! You haven’t been spending time in prayer and God’s Word???? That is like trying to run a computer that is not plugged into the power outlet. You are trying to do all of this without God’s power. That just won’t work. Ever. For anyone.

That is going to be step number one. You HAVE HAVE HAVE to have time in God’s Word and in deep prayer. I need you to be committed wholeheartedly to God and to getting in His Word and praying deeply for yourself for Him to show you sin and for Him to change you – or this isn’t going to work.

(A resource for wives who have been withholding sex is www.forgivenwife.com, and my posts “Sometimes I Feel Like  I’m Just a Piece of Meat to My Husband, ” and “Taking Initiative Sexually in Marriage.”)

 

FROM GODLYWIFETOBE:

I spend time in prayer all throughout the day!! 🙂

I’m just unsure where to start reading my Bible. I just feel when I’m reading sometimes I’m not paying attention because I’ve read it so many times. I’ve read the Bible cover to cover many times and each book on it’s own many times. I’m a teacher in a Christian school so I have to teach the Bible, too, so I read it then.

Where would you suggest is a good place for this journey to becoming peaceful?

I’m willing to start now. I need to get this into gear 🙂

FROM PEACEFULWIFE:

Well… I would suggest starting in I John and reading at least a chapter if not more than that per day and pray and beg God to speak to you, to show you any sin He wants you to get rid of and to transform your heart and mind by the power of His Spirit.

This is going to require absolute surrender to the Holy Spirit – then you will be able to resist the enemy’s lies and attacks and can be full of God’s power to become the woman He desires you to be for His glory. 🙂

After I John, I would suggest John, Acts, Romans and then the epistles.

And, I would suggest listening to or reading as many David Platt and John Piper sermons as you can!

FROM GODLYWIFETOBE:

I found this interesting.

No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God. By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:9, 10 ESV)

As a Christian I do keep on sinning in areas. I think we all sin. God knows we all sin which is why we need Jesus…I don’t get this part. Or maybe “make a practice” means we don’t go purposefully out sinning but it’s become part of us and we need to be refined and sanctified. What do you think?

Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:18 NIV)

That’s another verse that’s important to me. I don’t like lip service!

Oh and you’ll be proud of me! Hubby wanted to get a loan for a dirt motorbike. I wasn’t keen on the idea but I kept that from him as I know he wants one so he can go riding with the kids and the one Christian man he still respects. So I’ve said nothing, financially I don’t think it’s wise, but he’s trying to connect with the kids and that’s important!

FROM PEACEFULWIFE:

Yes, that part is VERY interesting, isn’t it?

It means habitual sin. Living in sin.

We cannot continue on in unforgiveness, pride, disrespect for God or our husbands, idolatry, self-righteousness, bitterness, resentment, gossip, hatred, jealousy, etc… Those ought to be exceptions not our general way of life.

Maybe you can say you are proud of him for connecting with the kids! And thank him for being such an involved dad?

FROM GODLYWIFETOBE:

Ahhhh yes, habitual sin. That makes sense.

I finished 1 John. How interesting it ends with “keep yourself from idols”. I really have to think about the idols that I have…

I’m praying God reveals it to me!

 

RELATED:

What Would an Email Counseling Session with Peacefulwife Be Like?

How to Use This Site

Forgiveness

God’s Perspective on Forgiveness

Exploring the Depths of Bitterness

Finding God’s Victory over Bitterness

Stages of This Journey

How Husbands Often Respond to Wives in the Beginning of This Journey

67 thoughts on “GodlyWifetoBe Begins Her Journey

  1. April,
    This was a great post, I could identify w her. We average about twice month too for sex and would really like to fix this. The hygiene (oral) is an issue to me too, any info on how I can get passed this? Thank you.

    1. Hi Stephanie
      It is difficult when hygiene is involved. My husband is a heavy smoker so it seeps out of him even after a shower. He doesn’t like to shower when he gets home so he can keep smoking. So he sits in his dirty clothes (he’s a miner) and smokes a few times so there’s no way I can get close to start connecting with him…

      I hope that you can find a way to connect with your husband 🙂

      1. Stephanie and Godlywifetobe,

        I wonder if they knew that there would be more sex if they showered if that might change their mind?

        What about saying something playful like, “You know, I was just thinking about what I might like to do with you/to you after you have a shower tonight. I just love it when you are all clean and soapy smelling. Kind of makes me want to lick you all over…”

        Something like that?

        What do you ladies think?

        1. I do try that. Sometimes he does it. Other times he doesn’t. It’s a bit like he’s too tired or not feeling like it himself? At the moment for my hubby, smoking is more appealing it seems than sitting and cuddling with me which may or may not lead to something more.

          1. Godlywifetobe,

            I wonder though, have you directly offered him sex, not just cuddling that might lead to sex? To a man, there is a big difference, I would imagine. 🙂

          2. Oh definitely! Sometimes he will follow my lead in that area other times he just says I need to get over it and I can’t have everything the way I want.

  2. Thank you, April, for saying we only really need God to mentor us. Anything else He allows is just an added benefit. He has provided all we need through His Spirit and His Word. I have never had any type of mentor for marriage or raising kids. And even though I was always in the Word and in prayer, I had an idol – pride. God couldn’t get through because of that. He cannot help anyone who doesn’t think they need help. Then, he allows us to learn some life lessons the hard way so we can see that we have a problem (sin) and we need Him. I concur with April that we need willing spirits of obedience and commitment to doing things His way. He promised, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” We need to be busy seeking the Lord and His will and we need to be committed to diligently seeking His approval — not man’s. We only need to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus because He is the author and perfecter of our faith!
    Psalm 107:8-9, “Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.”

  3. The Biblical definition of Love vs. Self-Love (from Reformer’s Unanimous Ministry):

    “LOVE is the willing, sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others without selfish thoughts of return.”

    “Self-love is the willing or unwilling giving of oneself to others with selfish thoughts of return.”

    I use these definitions all the time to judge whether or not I am loving God’s way, which is selfless, or my own way fleshly way, which is selfish.

  4. April,

    You’ve been my mentor and we’ve mailed and you could any stuff you think is useful for others… You know the hard phase that I’m going through… 🙂

    Lots of Love

      1. I’m going good on the outside… I’m continuing to hold onto being submissive and respectful. However getting my mind filled wit junk is something that I’m working on currently and being conscious of the spirits leading.

        In between all this office stress and other instances that cropped in the last months. I had a very bad incident when I went for my training. I had my training in a state which is where my FIL’s sister (75+ yrs) stays. Though I dint want to visit them, since my husband wanted me to meet them I went ahead. However when I went there that aunt of his insulted me by asking me not to see her. I felt very bad, I know its all because of what my FIL would have told them. However when I told my husband about all this he never said a word and it hurt me badly. However I guess he has no answer to all this so his silence may not be that he doesnt understand the pain.

        Too many issues all at the same time is making us both feel we are in a deep dark valley..

        1. Vinodhini,

          Ouch! Rejection is a horrible feeling. To have it followed up with silence from your husband must have been extremely painful.

          One thing I am learning in my journey is that the bad things I go through can help me to have true understanding and empathy for the persecution Jesus faced. People who were very close to Jesus turned their backs on Him. Peter, one of His closest disciples denied knowing Him three times! How many more followers kept silent? I think we can’t really grasp how much Jesus suffered on our behalf until we feel it ourselves.

          I’ve prayed for you. Keep your chin up–God is with you always. 😊

          1. Livelywriter,

            Thank you so much for those comforting and encouraging words… I’m glad I dint cause myself too much pain by brooding over what happened to me. I believe somewhere down in my heart that God had a purpose to take me there… I dont understand fully but I trust God is soveriegn overall… And yeah like in Hebrews 12, we havent suffered so much like Jesus did:)

            Lots of Love
            Vinodhini

          2. Praying for both of you, Livelywriter and Vinodhini – I know you are both in dark valleys right now. I praise God that He is able to turn these situations into something beautiful and glorious that will ultimately make you more like Christ somehow and bring Him honor.

            I love how my precious sisters here support and encourage one another!

        2. Ouch! I can imagine. I got a gift for my brother-in-law to be who visited from abroad and he dropped it and didnt take it back to London with him despite the fact that he called his wife to thank me. I felt bad but my fiance felt worse. But while meditating on the issue, I just knew i had to forgive him because God can only vindicate you when you don’t get in the way. And that wont stop me from giving him a gift the next time he visits; i may just ask him if he wouldn’t mind the gift. When i shared this with my fiance, he felt encouraged. Like i told April in my mail to her, it would do a lot of good if a lot of would-be brides will practice the truths shared in here before they get married. So sorry about the rejection. May God give you the grace to forgive and overcome at all you going through now. And may He vindicate you and exalt your horn.

          1. GB,

            Thank you for your kind words…

            Infact April in another conversation asked me to mediate on Romans 12:9-21 and one verse said that we need to overcome evil with good… Just like you I asked myself this question? Would I ever go back to their house if my husband takes me.?? And in my carnal self I may not but if led by the Holy Spirit I would still be nice to them:)

          2. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Vin. Seems like a rough time again for you, sister.

            When I experience persecution and rejection, I get hurt yes, but I also ask the Spirit to allow me to not only forgive but to LOVE my enemies.

            Matth 5:44
            “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”

            I actually pray for my enemies/persecutors more often, than those whom I love, sometimes! 🙂 There’s joy and peace to be had to wish good instead of ill will; to bless, where there should be scorn.

            I pray for Christ’s peace to reign in your heart, regardless of circumstance.

            Love,

            Nikka

        3. I’m sorry you were rejected like that. Praying for your heart to heal and know you are loved beyond measure by our Father!

  5. April, you have been a great blessing to me and the struggles I’m experiencing in my new marriage, my fourth and last marriage! Taking every feeling, thought, defenses captive and working towards being a submissive, respectful wife is my hearts desire in this marriage. My other marriages were very worldly, and all about me! This one is all about God! It’s been VERY hard work, and all about renewing my mind and attitude, but I have seen God grace and bless my husband and I as I submit to God first, and my husband second.

    Your posts and the comments have been a godsend as they all apply or give me some insight in some area of my struggles. Praising the Lord for you and the community of ladies that following your blog.

    1. Senterwife,
      My prayer is that God might allow me to “connect the dots” closer for those coming behind me than they were for me.

      I praise Him for what He is doing in your marriage! 🙂

      1. You’re certainly ‘connecting the dots’ for me!

        The absolute bottom line for me lately has been:
        1) Be in the Word and learn from God how He wants me to think, feel, behave
        2) Love like God, ie 1 Cor 13:4-7 and Matthew 5:43-48
        3) Trust God with EVERYTHING (Proverbs 3:5) and He will do the work that needs to be done.

  6. Hi All!

    April’s statements about the commitment we godly-wives-and-husbands-to-be (love your handle GWTB) must make to follow scripture reminded me of the book I am reading now.

    “Not A Fan” by Kyle Idleman gives a really honest overview of what it means to follow v. being a fan of Jesus. Until two months ago, I would say I was a lukewarm fan…ouch! I couldn’t even see how lackluster my faith was until my marriage dreams crumbled.

    The walk of a Christian following Christ is not easy…it requires TONS of sacrifice. Even Godly desires like being a Godly wife and wanting children can get in the way of our relationship with God.

    I know I have trouble verbalizing my new understanding in this matter, but I just had to chime in about this book because it is helping me to understand the level of commitment April talks about and God requires.

    May God bless us all today in our quest to be the people He’s calling us to be.

      1. No…at church they told me they did a study with the teen version of the book awhile back. How was the movie? Is it something a 14-yo recently returning to church would “get”? I would love to watch it with my son if you think it would be appropriate.

        I am really enjoying the book and want to share it with my husband because there are parts i think might touch him. However it may be awhile before i can do that without closing him down.

        1. Hmmm I’m not sure a teenage boy would get. Maybe if they were older? It focuses on an adult and then the author talks in between scenes.
          But maybe watch it for yourself and see if you think it would be suitable?
          There should be some preview clips online I would assume?

  7. Thank you April & ditto Senterwife and so many others. I can surely relate in so many areas and love the sharing & suggestions. Thank you for laying out some steps to start with, April, as I will begin 1 John, as well, as I search for that deeper relationship with Him.

    1. Sharon,

      These are very good first steps – with a solid foundation in Christ, I believe. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you! Please let us know how you are doing and how we can pray for you and walk beside you in support. 🙂

  8. Hi,

    I can’t say it enough! I thank God for this blog and the ‘RespectedHusband’ blog. You guys have truly been thru some ‘storms’ and have humbly displayed them like a trophy to honor Him and not yourselves or our enemy.
    Seeing ‘pride’ being a BIG vice should be a no brainer since we are all born into sin. I wreslte with it daily. I keep giving it to God, but it boomerangs back to me. UGGHHH =(. It is so amazing that the GREAT I AM humbled himself and came down to earth to take away everything (sin, perverted emotions) that would hinder our relationship with HIM but trusting and obeying are still struggles. I am SO THANKFUL HE is with us thru it all. He has us covered. Sadly we can see how Genesis 3:16 is alvie and well today -even among the saints. It is awesome to see the testimonies of those who are overcoming the curse (that was already crushed by HIM).
    Thank everyone for their testimonies and prayers – Theyare effective!

    1. Raphael,
      I love your gift of encouragement. What God is doing in you is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart and what God is doing in you and for sharing the powerful quotes about living in faith that you have been reading. I appreciate your willingness to reach out to others and to pray for them and minister to them. You are a blessing. 🙂

      I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you and how He plans to use this storm for His glory and your ultimate blessing.

    2. I think this is one of our biggest vices…

      Satan was full of pride and wanted Adam and Eve to be like that. It’s like it haunts us…

      But God says He is with us in our temptation and will provide a way out. I’m learning the only way out is to use the Word of God to transform my mind and my mouth and to keep looking at Jesus and nobody else.

      Thanks for sharing. I pray that you may overcome this with the help of our God!

    1. Jessica,
      Greg and I have been praying about me doing a conference. I would really love to publish the book I have written first – but we are praying about the timing and will let everyone know when it will be. Please pray for God’s will, His timing and wisdom for us. 🙂

      1. Praying for both the book and other opportunities as The Lord sees fit! Thank you to you and Greg for sharing your stories with us!

  9. Hi!
    I find it extremely ironic that I came across this post. This is exaclty what I am going through. I have other issues going on in my marriage that I wish to discuss with you also, but I wish to keep them private. I feel that these discussions may need a few emails back and forth to determine that right path I should take. I am extremely interested in working with you one on one as I have been to several counselors who have told me to end my marriage and its hopeless. It is very difficult to find a counselor who has my same views on Christianity also. I do not want to end my marriage. I want it to work out, but the right way. I am in an unequally yoked marriage and I am in need of direction. I pray that you find the time to send me an email so we can discuss my marriage. I admire you and I admire the advice that you give. Thank you!

    1. Hi Melissa
      Praying that you can be filled with wisdom and strength as you stick to your commitment to stay married!!!
      Let God change you. It’s what it’s all about!!!

    1. My Favorite Marriage Books

      Melissa,

      How my heart aches that I am not able to privately email all of the hundreds of wives who want to email with me every day. 🙁 I wish that I had the ability to accommodate everyone, but I don’t right now. I am able to answer you here if there is something you would like to talk about here. Or if there is a question you would like to ask, I can see about writing a post about that topic, or refer you to a post or Youtube video if I already have one about that topic. My youtube channel is “April Cassidy” and I have over 80 videos about many topics on being a godly wife, I also have over 800 posts here, you can check out the posts at the top of my home page and the peacefulwife timeline at the top of my home page to scroll through the titles. You can also search on the search bar on my home page for topics or go down on the right column on my home page and hover over “categories” and search by category topic for related blog posts.

      Praying for God’s wisdom, direction and power for you, for healing for your marriage and for God’s greatest glory in your life. 🙂

  10. That is awesome you are helping three wives like this. I have a mentor at my church, actually Don and I have a mentor couple. I am so glad my church has a marriage mentoring program, but for women churches that don’t an experienced peaceful wife met online can be a good thing. We do have some somewhat serious issues in our marriage that I won’t be too specific about online, and our trained mentors are helping us address. I will say that I feel my husband needs to make some drastic changes, but since he’s not really willing yet, I just have to focus on what I need to do. I recently did make some drastic changes to improve our marriage, and I need to maintain them. What I need to do with him is support, affirm and encourage what he does right, and leave the rest in God’s hands instead of nagging and putting him down.

    1. Ellen,
      I am so glad you have a mentoring couple at church! How I wish everyone could have that. But you are right, there are many women who don’t have any godly examples in their lives, even at church, sometimes. :(. That is why I spend so much time on this ministry, I believe God has called me to minister to wives and to point them to Christ. I have seen him change hundreds of wives that I know about, and I can’t wait to see all that He will do that I will find out about one day in heaven. 🙂

      We are all wretched sinners, men and women, and we all need God to radically change us. I am thrilled about what God is doing in your heart and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for you, your husband and your marriage. Please let us know what you are learning. I love your approach so far!

  11. April,

    Regarding Bible reading, I have experienced for myself that the ONLY time that the Words of God starting being lucid, easy to understand convicting for me was after I truly let go and let God.

    Before, when I would read it, it felt like a “chore”. Sometimes, my eyes would read just one sentence again and again and again, without it sinking in. Other times, I would have finished one whole book and when I try to recollect what I have learned, my memory comes out empty.

    I am a Catholic Christian and Bible-reading though encouraged, is not the order of the day. A Catholic Bible is almost always “immaculate” from lack of use. (A running joke among Christians, I know! My own Bible was “perfect” before my conviction.)

    It was only when I died to myself, got convicted by our Lord, and repented for all my sins did the Bible become the source of inspiration and joy and peace, that it now is to me. Now, I cannot NOT read my Bible daily. It would seem like NOT drinking water or NOT eating food, which would be the death of me!!! I thirst and hunger for His Word daily! That is not my doing, but the Spirit’s leading.

    Psalm 119:11

    “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”

    Suddenly, without any extra effort on my part, after my dying to self, the Spirit has filled me up with a hunger and longing to read Scripture at any time, so much so that on easy days, I read for hours on end, and I still want more! I never go out without my Bible anymore. I read it when the line is long in the grocery, when I am waiting for the priest to start mass, when I am in the car stuck in traffic, etc.

    Since my conversion, the Words of God are now seeming to jump off the pages! I am getting to know Who God really is, as opposed to Who I thought He was/is. It’s like the Lord and I are in this intimate getting-to-know-you stage. He is telling me Who He is, What He can do, and What He will do for ME if I cling to Him… On the other hand, because He constantly reveals Himself to me through His “Love Letters” (The Bible is a book of God’s Love for us!), I am getting to know myself more and more too. I am learning that I am nothing in comparison to God, and yet what is mind-blowing about it, is that HE LOVES ME! Jesus DIED FOR ME! The Spirit was SENT DOWN FOR ME!

    In reading His Word, I am getting to know God; and in getting to know Him, I get to know myself too. This allows for me to find my most authentic self. That I am a sinner, and were it not for God’s Grace and Mercy, I, who am already nothing, will amount to much less than nothing.

    Now, I find God in every page and what is amazing, is I find myself in every page too! I feel God speaking to me and I find myself being spoken about too!

    I felt led to share this because, I believe that the beauty of God’s Word fails to transform even the most religious of people, if the death to self, repentance and seeking for God is not FULL. The Spirit can only FILL a person up if he/she is “empty” of one’s self. Otherwise, it can only poke a bit here and there, not being able to make a dent or much of a difference in one’s whole being.

    One may know ABOUT God without knowing God.

    It is the Spirit that will allow us to comprehend things that only the heart “sees”.

    In ending, let me share this with you from 1 Corinthians. It might explain why the Truth in the Word fails to transform some of us here, who read the Word but are not changed by the Word…

    God’s Wisdom Revealed by the Spirit

    6 We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. 7 No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. 8 None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. 9 However, as it is written:

    “What no eye has seen,
    what no ear has heard,
    and what no human mind has conceived”—
    the things God has prepared for those who love him—

    10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

    The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.c 14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, 16 for ,

    “Who has known the mind of the Lord
    so as to instruct him?”

    But we have the mind of Christ.

    * * * * *

    Just wanted to share this because some of us here might be wondering why despite reading the Word daily, it still does not excite you, comfort you or allow you to feel God’s Love for you.

    It could very well be that the Spirit has not filled you up yet, because you are holding back, or are still cherishing sin.

    Whatever it may be, my prayer is for you to fully let go and let God, sister. That is the only time that the Bible will become the wellspring of wisdom and knowledge to you. 🙂

    Coming from a Catholic Christian who had an “immaculate” Bible for decades, this is a MIRACLE!!! 🙂

    Love,

    Nikka

    1. Nikka,
      This is such a very important point. I read God’s Word daily for many years- and yet remained untransformed in so many ways before. I hope you might allow me to share this next Wednesday as a post, my precious sister!

      1. Sure, my dear sister, April!

        I am very sure a LOT of our sisters here could relate to the “reading but not understanding” or “reading but not changing.”

        Just correct any typos I may have done. I am OC that way! You would understand! 😉

        Love,

        Nikka

  12. I’m sure many people have already figured this out, and I’m usually much more tech-savvy and would’ve done it sooner, but I discovered that David Platt’s church has a podcast where you can listen to all of his sermons, even going back years. I remember you recommending his sermons on Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood, and I downloaded both parts to that message and started listening yesterday. My plan is to listen every day on the way to and from work (unless I have to practice worship songs for the weekends that I’m scheduled to sing).

    My husband is struggling some with his relationship with Christ, so I’m not sure he would be open to listening just yet, but I might recommend some sports podcasts to him first and then just throw out a, “Hey, I found this really cool church’s podcast too…” 🙂

    1. M,
      Awesome idea! Thank you so much for sharing! And, I definitely like that you are not going to try to force spiritual things on your husband. That approach sounds good. 🙂 If he is very shut down to spiritual things, it may be better not to mention it at all. But I am sure God’s Spirit can give you wisdom about if and when and how to mention it. 🙂

  13. If you ever have time I would like to be included as I just renewed my relationship with God and cherish my marriage.

    1. or maybe we could have a thread devoted to sharing celebrations along our journey?
      what we are learning and what we may be wobbly about.

      1. Tena,

        Every post is open for women to share these things. I love to hear about victories and to celebrate with my sisters! And I love to mourn with those who are hurting and pray with them. I also love to talk about places where women get stuck so that we might encourage and exhort one another. 🙂

    2. Tena,

      If I am able to do this again, I will send out a call to everyone. Right now, I am not able to do any private mentoring – but I am available here as much as possible and I am always glad to talk with you about anything. I seek to point everyone to Christ, His power, and His Word. 🙂

  14. Mrs April,

    Thank you for your graciousness.

    I regretted asking to be mentored later in the day.

    The more I read, the more aware I become of very painful marriage problems amongst Christians.

    Personally, our marriage is loving and fun and I am content.

    Sometimes it is hard not to boast from rejoicing in it.

    I would like to continue to comment if I may.I think that I can demonstrate a light hearted and often funny way that my husband and I deal with things.

    I added an approach I did not see a hint of last night in the “My husband treats me like meat” that shows this.

    I was so grieved to see so much pain. That topic and the one where it lists disrespect of husbands shattered me.

    God so much wants to uplift our marriages I think sometimes He must just want us to get out of His way so He can bless us. Instead we bring our sins home.
    I agree with you that we need to be a light to the world and especially to our children.
    I would so like for our (mine and my husbands) light to say: Bring laughter into your home, continue to delight in each other as in your youth.

    1. Tena,

      Perhaps God might use you to be a blessing and encouragement to others who are hurting and struggling. You are most welcome to comment any time! I loved your comment on that post. I think it is awesome for those who are struggling and hurting to see a variety of examples of different healthy marriages and approaches that honor God and our husbands.

      The pain that is happening in marriages is off the charts today. This is kind of an emergency room for wives and marriages – some of the stories are most heartbreaking. But – what joy when God works and does miracles and brings healing!

      I love your approach and your willingness to share. Thank you!!!! You are a blessing to me. 🙂

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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