A Wife Shares What She Is Learning in Biblical Marital Counseling


I’m so thankful for this wife’s willingness to share what she is learning!  I believe this will bless you. 🙂

My Dear Husband (DH) and I have started Biblical Marital Counseling at a Baptist church near my job. They are very well known and its 6 sessions for free. Our first meeting went very well. our counselor was a young man with a wife and two boys. He was very knowledgeable in the word.  Here are some of the things he shared with us:

  • If I draw closer to God and my DH draws closer to God, it will draw us closer together. (the pyramid effect)
  • He talked about the man that was possessed, and the demon left and had no where to go. He then went back to the house and saw it clean and swept, and brought 7 of his friends. And the man was more tortured than before. With God’s help you can clean your heart, stop a habit, but you have to replace it with something. You can’t just leave it. He called it the “put off and put on.” The Bible talks a lot about it. He gave a sheet that we can add to, how to stop one thing (Put off) and what to “put on” in its place.
  • We talked about respect. Respect comes in all different shapes and sizes. For me, respect = trust. For many reasons, I am not able to trust my DH with many things. That translates to my DH that I do not respect him. I want to trust him, but that is something he and I will have to work on together.

I have been on this journey since I contacted you in early January. And I can say that it really takes focusing on God.

Yes, my DH has MANY issues… But those are not for me to fix.. I have to Put Off trying to “help” him be better and love me how I feel he should, and Put ON My relationship with Christ. Let the Lord step in. Yes, my DH needs help. But not from my mortal hands. God can do anything if we just take our hands off of it, and let Him in his infinite Wisdom and love take over.

Time daily spent in prayer is essential and daily Bible reading as well. Get a devotional!! And do it daily!!


  • Work on yourself!! Your husband will see the change. Move your focus from your husband to God.
  • Love God, and through Him, you will learn to love your husband and he will learn to love you.
  • I know you love your DH – just as I do – But love him more by giving him to the Lord. I’m not saying “Let go and Let God”… I am saying, take a step back… Put your life back in its proper place.. Put God above your self and your DH.. Ask God what he wants you to do.. Seek Him FIRST…
  • From the time we give our lives to God (justification), we go through a long period of sanctification. Learning how to be like Christ. Learning how to be whole. Until we reach glorification when meet Him face to face..

This is why it is imperative to focus on your relationship with The Lord..

Don’t make you DH an idol. He’s just a man.. I know emotions can take over. But you must start this process by changing YOUR heart.


If you have been on this journey for awhile, what encouragement, wisdom and insights would you share with wives who are just beginning and are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated as they try to learn all of these new things about becoming godly wives?  What do you wish you had known when you first started?

I may use some of your comments and wisdom in other posts. This is exactly the kind if thing that will bless so many other wives. 🙂 Thanks for your willingness to share!


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