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What’s My Resolution This Year????


Greg and April – November 2013

I have been enjoying my email vacation and using this time to take stock of things, talk with Greg, pray and evaluate the direction of my life, my walk with Christ, my marriage, my mothering, my blogs and email ministry – and I have been enjoying Greg and my children!


Months and Years

Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec Total
2012 926 2,224 2,462 5,073 12,022 11,626 16,387 31,206 30,396 30,329 32,880 40,450 215,981
2013 71,930 60,818 67,041 71,757 72,926 76,437 92,487 99,072 107,578 122,297 129,729 124,584 1,096,656

Total views for 2012 = 215,981

Total views for 2013 = 1,096,656+

Average per Day

Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec Overall
2012 54 77 79 169 388 388 529 1,007 1,013 978 1,096 1,305 614
2013 2,320 2,172 2,163 2,392 2,352 2,548 2,983 3,196 3,586 3,945 4,324 4,073 3,006

Average views per day 2012 = 614

Average views per day 2013 = 3,006

With the dramatic increase in volume on this blog (and – which had over 450,000 hits in 2013) – I have also been receiving a dramatic increase in email volume.  I have easily been spending 5-8 hours/day on blogging and emailing the past few months.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE blogging and ministering to wives (and to my single ladies, too)!  This is my calling and passion.  I never get tired of this stuff. I could seriously do it all day every day.  Greg is very supportive of my ministry and it brings me such joy to share what God has shown me.  I LOVE seeing what God is doing in others’ lives and watching Him do miracles.  This has been the most amazing adventure of my life.

  • I want to be the best possible steward for God with my time, resources and efforts.
  • I want to be sensitive to my husband and to my Lord and be obedient to what Christ would have me do.
  • I hold this blog and everything in my life, except for Christ, loosely in my hands – seeking His will far above my own.  I want only to be fully available to Him, completely obedient to Him and to bring the greatest possible glory to Him!

My resolution this year is to find a better BALANCE for my family and ministry – AND to seek to bring the most glory possible to God in every area of my life.

For those of you who have been following me very long – you know that moderation and balance are some of my greatest challenges!  I am great at 110% on or 100% off.  Balance and moderation – UGH!  I don’t do these things well at all sometimes!

I am the first to admit, I am not perfect.  Anything good in me is completely due to Christ.

Greg would like me to spend about 2 hours/day on blogging and emails.  I want to honor him in this.  So, I am going to be implementing a few changes.  

  • Please pray for Greg and for me to have wisdom about how best to minister and best use the resources, time and opportunities that God has given to us to reach the precious people God has brought into our lives.  Each one is important to me, and even more important to Christ! 🙂


  • I am going to be using some more posts from the archives.
  • I may cut back a bit on frequency of my posts at times – especially when my children and husband are home on vacation.
  • I would like to use guest posts – as I have been doing.  If you have a story that you believe God would like you to share about what He is doing in your marriage, please send it to me!  I may be able to use it. 🙂   Please be sure to tell me if you want it to be anonymous or if you want me to use your name.
  • I would like to share Christian husbands’ perspectives on many of these issues, too.  If you are a husband (or you are a wife and you think your husband would be interested, you may certainly ask him!) and you would like to write an anonymous post for me about godly femininity, how a wife’s disrespect impacts a husband, how a wife’s controlling behavior affects a husband, what it does for a husband when his wife has faith in him, the power of a wife’s respect or about how much it means to you when your wife follows your leadership, or about any of the issues we talk about, I’d love to read what you have to say – and I may be able to use it as a post.
  • I LOVE to share other wives’ (and husband’s) stories.  This thing isn’t about me and what I do – it is all about God.  The more examples the better!
  • I would like to encourage people to comment on posts or on my Peacefulwife Blog Facebook page if possible rather than emailing me.
  • I would like to encourage wives who are a bit farther along on this journey to join with me to mentor the wives who are beginning this journey.
  • Emails – this has been the most time consuming thing for me in the past few months. I LOVE emailing with people.  It is such a joy for me!  But I have been spending 3-4+ hours many days on emails.  Often, I get 100-150 emails/day.  So, this is an area where I am going to need to make some changes.  Thank you for your patience as I prayerfully consider how best to approach this issue.  I may need to see if some other wives who have been on this journey for awhile might want to join me to mentor some wives by email.  Maybe I can match up some wives with mentoring partners and facilitate discussions when needed.  I want very much to be available to those wives who are in need!
  • Prayer team – I would like to add more ladies to my prayer team.  I need prayer!  My marriage needs prayer.  This ministry needs prayer.  This HAS to all be about God, not about me.  If you are interested in receiving emails from me about once a week with prayer needs, please let me know in the comments, or send me an email that you would like to be on the prayer team.
  • Prayer day – I would like to have a prayer day, maybe once a week for us to all pray together.
  • Book – I am working on a book.  I need much prayer about this!  If it is not of God, I don’t want to write it.  If it is of Him, I want to be faithful and obedient to His desires for me. I am still uncertain about some of the direction with this.  My greatest challenge is trying to figure out what NOT to include!  There is SO MUCH I want to say!  So I need God’s clear leadership, provision, direction, inspiration and His power to speak through me if this is of Him.

I would love to have godly resources to link to for wives who are truly abused. Praying about this, also.

What spiritual and marriage related resolutions do you have for 2014?  I would love to hear them!


I had always longed to be a foreign missionary as a teenager and young adult.  Of course, back then – there was no internet at all.  I have to cry tears of such joy to see what God is doing through this blog. It is beyond my ability to wrap my head around the things that are possible through His power working in my life.  I long to be an open pipe that allows His Spirit to flood through like Niagra Falls into every life I touch.

I could die today at total peace with my life  and all that God has done in my life- my walk with Christ, my marriage, my children, the ministry God has given to me.  I can’t wait to meet each of you in heaven and to see all that God did that I still don’t even know about and all of the ripple effects around the world.  I have no regrets.  What a blessing to be able to say that!?!?!  I’m so thankful for the privileges God has given me.  Please pray that I might be faithful to Jesus to use this platform for His glory and that His truth, wisdom, love, grace and mercy might reign here and bless everyone He desires to bring here.


Country Views
United States FlagUnited States 789,734
United Kingdom FlagUnited Kingdom 57,450
Canada FlagCanada 54,169
Australia FlagAustralia 30,006
India FlagIndia 14,156
South Africa FlagSouth Africa 13,564
Philippines FlagPhilippines 10,653
Singapore FlagSingapore 10,326
Germany FlagGermany 5,377
Nigeria FlagNigeria 5,180
Malaysia FlagMalaysia 5,042
Sweden FlagSweden 4,794
Kenya FlagKenya 4,027
Netherlands FlagNetherlands 4,007
New Zealand FlagNew Zealand 3,967
Ireland FlagIreland 3,768
France FlagFrance 3,484
United Arab Emirates FlagUnited Arab Emirates 3,068
Norway FlagNorway 2,685
Indonesia FlagIndonesia 2,528
Finland FlagFinland 2,285
Taiwan, Province of China FlagTaiwan 2,179
Pakistan FlagPakistan 2,052
Poland FlagPoland 1,866
Zimbabwe FlagZimbabwe 1,843
Ghana FlagGhana 1,805
Mexico FlagMexico 1,739
Italy FlagItaly 1,467
Denmark FlagDenmark 1,414
Saudi Arabia FlagSaudi Arabia 1,367
Trinidad and Tobago FlagTrinidad and Tobago 1,319
Brazil FlagBrazil 1,237
Jamaica FlagJamaica 1,165
Japan FlagJapan 1,134
Oman FlagOman 1,103
Switzerland FlagSwitzerland 1,096
Uganda FlagUganda 1,061
Qatar FlagQatar 1,025
Hong Kong FlagHong Kong 989
Spain FlagSpain 964
Turkey FlagTurkey 963
Greece FlagGreece 916
Korea, Republic of FlagRepublic of Korea 911
Namibia FlagNamibia 896
Belgium FlagBelgium 767
Romania FlagRomania 699
Rwanda FlagRwanda 666
Egypt FlagEgypt 637
Hungary FlagHungary 599
Thailand FlagThailand 592
Israel FlagIsrael 574
Russian Federation FlagRussian Federation 563
Macao FlagMacao 528
Zambia FlagZambia 525
Croatia FlagCroatia 512
Sri Lanka FlagSri Lanka 511
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Bulgaria FlagBulgaria 417
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Puerto Rico FlagPuerto Rico 404
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Bahamas FlagBahamas 386
Kuwait FlagKuwait 358
Tanzania, United Republic of FlagUnited Republic of Tanzania 337
Lebanon FlagLebanon 324
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Antigua and Barbuda FlagAntigua and Barbuda 108
Chile FlagChile 107
Iraq FlagIraq 104
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Bosnia and Herzegovina FlagBosnia and Herzegovina 100
Latvia FlagLatvia 81
Macedonia, the former Yugoslav Republic of FlagMacedonia, the Former Yugoslav Republic 79
Venezuela FlagVenezuela 77
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Dominica FlagDominica 68
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Gambia FlagGambia 34
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Turks and Caicos Islands FlagTurks and Caicos Islands 29
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Congo, the Democratic Republic of the FlagDemocratic Republic of the Congo 14
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66 thoughts on “What’s My Resolution This Year????

  1. I will pray for Greg and you to have wisdom about how best to minister and best use the resources, time and opportunities that God has given to you to reach the people God has brought into your lives. I believe you when you say each one is important to you (and of course even more important to Christ! [image: :)]) You have responded to EVERY E-Mail I sent you and you get 100 a day! Keep going! My husband has blogs too to reach epople and the Internet is the way to go these days for sure . People are learning so much online and it is a great avenue to share our faith, things GOD teaches us to encourage us further .. you have encouraged me to to the same so my prayer also is for all of us to abide in his will and stick close to GOD so we cam minister to a hurting world and to each other ! Thank you for your support and prayers and you are correct about your book, if it is of GOD , you will continue. BE sensitive to his spirit adn know what he cares about. He cares for the orphan, the widow, the oppressed the poor. Lord come quickly to this broken world and bless this Ministry, protect and meet the needs of April and Greg and fill their entire family with Joy and the peace of GOD !

      1. I would love to volunteer to be on a prayer team and try to help you with anything that might lessen your load. Your blog has helped my marriage but it was a part in saving my life. God is my best friend and I realize that now through implenting some of your suggestions. I am a stay at home mom (I am Aldo a nurse) but I am unable to work due to our 13 year old son is severely Autistic and I am his main caregiver while my husband is working. Thank you if your inspiring words. J Fardulis

      2. djfardulis,

        Wow! It is great to hear from you! I welcome you to be on my prayer team. And thank you for volunteering to help me with the load.

        I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you. Praying for God’s wisdom with your son and for His glory in your marriage.

        Much love to you!

  2. Praise God for you and your ministry April! Truly, this is God’s Great Work! So many countries,so many lives touched,so many marriages healed!!! 🙂

    If I could help you spread it further, in any way I can, I am just here.

    I am one with you in praying for all your intentions as well as for fellow wives all over the world. That we may all glorify God through our gift of submission first unto the Lord, then unto our husbands.

    God bless you,April. A warm hug from the Philippines. 🙂

  3. Hi April!

    Praise God for what He is doing with/through you and your ministry. Amazing!!!! 🙂 So many countries. So many marriages healed. So many wives wanting to change themselves in order to please God by submitting first to the Lord,then to their husbands.

    I am one with you in prayer for all your intentions and requests. I would like to help you in any way I can in spreading the ministry further. I am just here if and when you need me.

    GOD IS GOOD! 🙂 Let’s continue to spread His Great Design for Marriage.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR, APRIL!!!! 🙂 May peace reign once more in 2014. May you find it in you to moderate your time, talent and treasure. (I too am an all or nothing person! Hubby always tells me to do my best to find a middle ground. ;P ) GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL PEACEFUL WIVES AROUND THE WORLD! 🙂

  4. Being a UK woman, I am SO encouraged by the number of UK views! It’s easy to feel discouraged over the way things are going here. I do share your blog with women and pray for you April and for your protection as I feel this ministry is highly contested because it is truly one important key for preparing a spotless bride for Jesus’ return, as we as women return to His Word. God bless you in the coming year as you seek His will for this ministry and give you much wisdom. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking the truth in love to countless women all over the world!
    Love Alison Joy x

    1. Alison Joy,

      I hear from MANY wives in the UK and Europe. 🙂 Thank you for praying for me, Alison Joy. I pray for you as well. Please pray that God might empower me to be faithful to His truth, His Word, His message and that it might only be His Spirit and power, not mine.

      Much love to you!!!!!

  5. Thank you for sharing the incredible statistics you have gathered. It’s amazing to see the countries where God has allowed you to reach people! And how your readership has grown by leaps & bounds.

    Thank you for sharing your ministry resolutions, too. You have put so much into blessing each wife that has read your blog and reached out to you via comments or emails. I pray that we will all be able to bless you in return and respect your need to balance your time, devoting more to your family.

    You have always responded to each of my many emails as if I am the only one emailing to you. I so appreciate the wisdom, support, and genuine care you have given me. I pray God will raise up a team of Godly wives to mentor with you (I am not there yet! Someday, I pray.). There is obviously a great need in our world.

    Happy New Year and I pray for all of God’s richest blessings for you and your family!

    1. Cat,
      You, your marriage, your children, your walk with Christ, your husband’s walk with Christ – are all SO important to me! I want to see God’s glory. I want to see His power at work in all of you.

      I’m so glad we can walk this road together. Much love to you!

  6. It is amazing to see those numbers and where people are reading Peacefulwife from! I think what amazes me the most is that marital struggles and the need for guidance in marriage is universal- no matter the culture. The needs of husbands and wives are the same.

    My personal New Year’s Resolutions for 2014 in my marriage and walk with the Lord are:
    -to continue to grow in the Lord and be more faithful in having a daily time with God.
    -I have chosen “Gentleness” as my word of the year. I want to work toward having a gentle heart with my husband, my children, my friends, extended family and even strangers.
    -To continue learning and working toward holding my husband more loosely and clinging to Christ more tightly.

    I am praying you achieve balance and am praying God’s best for you, Greg and those two sweet babies of yours!

    A Fellow Wife

    1. A Fellow Wife,
      Ooh! I love your resolutions!!! Gentleness… That is beautiful! Praying for God to continue to help you to grow in Christlikeness!

      Much love my precious friend!

  7. April, My eyes are filled with tears as I read your post and remembered how lovingly you responded to my email last year–when I truly didn’t have a clue about fixing what was wrong. I know God led me to your website, to your wise counsel from his word, to the truth you have the courage to speak in a dark world. Although I thought I was leading a good Christian life, I soon realized how many changes I needed to make. I have asked God to help me do something good in the world, beyond just being a good wife, mother, and teacher. I have asked him to love others through me. Often I’ve thought about how heavy this ministry could become for just one person, about how Jethro advised Moses to allow others to help him with the nation of Israel. I’m sure that many of your readers, especially older women who have strong faith in Christ and have benefited from the godly counsel and loving care here (and who are familiar already with your many posts), would love to help you. I think many of us could offer great encouragement and wisdom to struggling wives, not only from the Bible, but also from our personal experience, especially about how we have learned from our mistakes and then gone on to build peaceful lives and healthy relationships. We know what it is to feel hopeless, alone, and in agony. We know too, how surely drawing close to Christ relieves the pain and teaches us a better way to live. I think writing a book is a WONDERFUL way to minister to women, but I also know that often women need another caring, spiritual woman to talk to one on one, and they are in such SHORT supply! It would be great if you had a section of this website where women could ask others for someone to talk to, and then communicate directly with someone who wanted to help, someone who would “walk with them,” pray with them, listen to and love them, and refer to your posts on many topics. I am volunteering, if you can use me to help others. I WANT TO. As this year unfolds, I know God will continue blessing you, your family, and this ministry, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, April. Much love to you!

    1. Elizabeth,

      Now MY eyes are filled with tears, too! 🙂

      What a blessing you and so many women are whom God has been healing and growing and now you are ready to stand with me and be my co-laborer for Christ! WOW!

      I need to add this idea to the list about emails.

      I COMPLETELY agree that wives, especially at first, NEED one one one mentoring and emailing/discussions with another wives who can walk step by step through these difficult issues.

      I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have you on board as a mentoring wife.

      I wish I could hug your neck my precious sister and friend!

      Maybe I can direct some women who email me to specific mentors. And – you can certainly let me know if you want my input in specific cases.

      I am so excited!

      THANK YOU!

      1. I love how no matter what Elizabeth says there’s always a positive spin to it. If I ever had to hear really bad news I would want Elizabeth to break it to me. It could be the most horrible news imaginable and I just know she would deliver it in a way that I would think, oh it’s not the worst thing.. 🙂 That’s an awesome gift.

      2. I would love to help with mentoring wives along the way. I feel I have so far to go myself but if my limited wisdom could help, yes, I am all for it! However I can help the way you have helped me.

      3. As a wife who is 4 months into her respect journey and still struggling and with a husband who is no longer invested in our marriage, I can say that the mentoring that April has provided me has been the biggest help. God definitely led me to this website (there is a wealth of information here and a supportive community) and to April (who has an amazing God-given ability to show genuine love and concern and provide Godly counsel and encouragement). However, it is unrealistic for her to continue to be available at this level. The idea of having a team of mentoring wives to work with her is wonderful! I pray that this will happen, in God’s way and timing.

        1. Thank you, Cat! 🙂 I want women who are struggling to have godly mentoring wives available. I want to be available. And I am really excited to have some other wives team up with me to help. Thank you for your prayers! You are so precious to me. I know that this has been a difficult time. I’m so honored to get to walk with you on this road. 🙂

  8. Hi April!
    I am pretty new to your blog, but I must say the few months I have been “visiting” here have been a true blessing! I have been married 38 years, since age 17! We have had many challenges over the years, raised 4 children to adulthood, yet sometimes I still feel like a beginner in the marriage department!
    This new year, I desire to grow stronger in the Lord. I just want to say thank you for all you are doing for all of us out here! God’s best blessings on you and yours!

    1. Kimberly,

      38 years is amazing to me! Especially being married so young. There must be something working in terms of how you and your husband approach and handle challenges and communication that brought you to celebrating 38 years of marriage. I would love to hear more.

      I’ve been married 4 years to Mark (since age 41 and we’ve both had failed marriages before). I love to hear stories about marriages that last through the storms and changes in life and hear about what worked and what didn’t. I also love stories about how couples met. There’s always something warm and fuzzy about thinking back to how we met our husbands and remembering what made us fall in love with them.

      Gail W.

  9. Wonderful stats and very smart (easy to implement) changes April. I love it when you use old blog posts because I have missed many of them and often ask a question that you have already blogged about the answer.. The one about fasting was a good example. Now that was an easy to digest (no pun intended) answer for someone like me. I asked that question to someone once about a year ago and their answer was so complicated that I walked away still not knowing!

    So, I’m excited about you using old posts and all of the changes you are making. Plus I never know if I should comment on one that I come across that is very old. 🙂

    As far as new years resolutions, there are many things that I want to accomplish this year but the things that have been on my heart the most are:

    1. To focus on changing the way I react to my husband. Making sure that the words I say and my actions are building him up instead of tearing him down. I need to be more vigilant on praying for him everyday. Not for specific changes in him but more about whatever internal battle he’s dealing with. Even when he’s in a good mood, I see it. I’m also going to work at approaching making an appeal better. The blog post on that was very, very helpful. I see now that starting my appeal with the words, “Are you nuts?” or “Is there something wrong with you?” is probably not productive. 🙂

    2. Making sure I give people, all people, the benefit of the doubt. Instead of getting upset at something they do and praying for them instead. I need to keep in my mind that I don’t know what that person could be going thru that made them act a certian way or do a certian thing. Forgiving people that intentionally or unintentionally hurt me is a must for me. I need to weed out some final bitter roots in my own garden.

    3. It weighs on me that I cannot understand or figure out what my spiritual gift is. It’s talked about so much and apparently everyone has one. I really want to understand that one better and figure out what my spiritual gift is so that I can make the most of that.

    4. Trusting God is my weakest thing. I really want to obtain that level of faith where I actually do trust God whether I understand the purpose of what is happening or not. When I look back at 2013 I can see many area’s where out of a bad situation God made something good come from it. My daughters sobriety being probably one of the most signicant. My own reconcilation with God being the top most significant event ever in my life. He has indeed used many things that were meant to harm me into something good. Whether I deserved that goodness or not.

    5. I have some things that I have been putting off because they are things I do not want to do. Things like classes I need to start, house hunting (dread but we want to move), making doctors appointments (I have an unnatual fear of the doctor and have literally gone 10 years without going to a doctor before), learning how to cook some things so that the burden is not always on Mark and my sister to cook, getting more engaged with our finances (Mark puts together an awesome monthly presentation on our finances, with graphs and charts, I always intend to look thru it and never do..).

    2013 was one of those years for us where there were so many hardships that were mixed with extreme blessings. I can’t say that it was a bad year or a great year. It was one of those things where the bad was very, very bad and the good was very, very good. There didn’t seem to be anything in the middle. Either way it was a year of extreme change for me. I expect 2014 will bring a lot more changes. I have no idea what God has planned for me this year but I would like to be in a place spiritually where I would say yes to any of it regardless of what that is. I’m glad he doesn’t always show me immediately what those things are because fear would probably keep me from saying yes if I knew in advance. 🙂

    Happy New Years and prayers for good things for all of you in this new year..

    Gail W.

    1. Gail-
      I love this! I think the following statements are very relatable

      ” I have no idea what God has planned for me this year but I would like to be in a place spiritually where I would say yes to any of it regardless of what that is. I’m glad he doesn’t always show me immediately what those things are because fear would probably keep me from saying yes if I knew in advance.”

      I pray for April, this blog/ministry, Gail and all other women struggling to honor God and to be closer to God.

  10. Hi April,

    Thank you for sharing with us today about how the LORD is reaching people all around the globe, AMEN!!! I can say you have helped open my eyes in ways I never thought possible. Thank you. I can’t even imagine how you are able to put in the hours you do, only by the grace of God and I understand that you need to put your family and husband first. I was thinking to ask if you thought of taking this ministry in a direction in which you could make money blogging? Is that not something you and Greg are interested in? Looking at the growth in your page hits year to year, you are looking at a lot of visitors in the next few years. I am a stay at home mom right now, but in my previous position I was the manager of a major shoe company’s website. So I think in terms of e-commerce. Who knows April, maybe you could have a ministry in which you were paid and then be able to do this as a full time ministry for the LORD. Just some observations, I hope I have not been too pushy. I am hear if you want to talk about any e-commerce strategies.

  11. Hey April, one thing I would love to say is I love your availability in ministry. You always respond to everyone of us, you have so much love in your heart. But of course, there is so many souls to reach. You are really blessed. You are such a sweet women, and you are so dedicated. But God does bring balance to things when necessary. There is so many people for one women to manage. Goodness I cant imagine. You put time in this like a job-or seems like more than a pastor would put in-Im not sure-but praise God. It’s a season for everything. I love you so much, God has used you in a miracoulous way-you have seeked him wholeheartedly-He will guide your every direction. I pray right now that he give you strength, courage and a fight to do His will. Miss lady praise God-the angels are clapping from above. I would love to be on the prayer team, and I definately know the basics and have been recieving confirmation from you, b/c I didnt listen to my husband for years, I am not just beginning to repent and obey-so If you need extra help I am here.
    1. I share my stories, that I have, I’ll leave in comments
    2. Your blog has so much info. I havent been able to read your old post, you have a tons, you definately can repeat those

    1. Peeps,

      I probably put in time like it is more than a full-time job. But – each moment is pure joy for me. I can’t NOT do this. It is going to be REALLY, REALLY HARD to scale back!!! But I do see that I am probably a bit out of balance at times. 🙂

      That is my deepest desire – to be fully available to God – for Him to use me however He wants to.

      Thank you for sharing and blessing other wives!

      I will be repeating some old posts. I have a lot of new viewers who haven’t read them – and some of them are just worth reading twice anyway. 🙂

      Thank you for the prayers and encouragement. I am thrilled to have you on my prayer team!

      Much love,

  12. Peaceful wife, Gail definately has those gifts- I too prayed this morning about what mine are, I love looking at others goals for the new year b/c it makes me ponder and take in their goals as well. Me and friend shared our goals-it was great.

  13. Peacefulwife,

    I think your hubby is very wise to ask you to reduce your time on this, as no one wants you to burn out from it. He obviously loves you very much – you are a blessed woman and a blessing to me.

    I will pray that you get an abundance of volunteers for mentors, and will have wisdom and discernment about how to best use their gifts. I wish I was far enough along in my journey to mentor, but I am way too new to it…maybe in a year or so 🙂

    Btw, ur children are sure gonna be a good catch one day if they respond to and adapt what you and Greg are modelling to them – can I introduce them to my kids one day? LOL.

    Love to you, wise woman in Christ

  14. I love your idea about pairing up with another wife. It could be like “journey” pen pal. Sometimes I just need someone to bounce an idea off of, or vent, or just have someone set me straight. There are also times I don’t want to share intimate details of my relationship with someone I know and will see in person.

    1. Daisymae,
      I think there are HUGE advantages to talking to someone on line you won’t have to see and your husband won’t have to see in person. I like how you worded that, “a journey pen pal.” Love it! May have to set up a link for that….

  15. April, I have been following your blog for quite a long time now, though have never commented or emailed you though many times I have wanted to. Just want to thank you for your amazing teaching on this subject, I have never been exposed to these ideas here in the UK which is becoming increasingly secular, but it makes so much sense in my marriage. Its really helpful to feel I am not alone, perhaps linking people who live in the same country may be helpful to some? I would be happy to pray for you, and you must be sure to take care of you and your own. Thank God and you for all you have shown me.

  16. Wow! Just Wow! I have never even heard of some of those countries! That is amazing that you have reached that many people April. I know you are all about God getting all the glory and you getting none. But you are to be praised as well for being the willing vessel that you have been for God to use to help all of us whose marriages are in such a pitiful state. You have been a blessing to me that is for sure. I know you are inundated with emails and messages. I’m sure it is only with God’s help that you can even start to comment or respond to each one of us that hang on to your leg at times! Anything I can do to help you, I am willing. I would love to be on your prayer team and I think having a certain day and time of the week for everyone to be praying for each other and our marriages, families and helping others, would be the utmost awesome. Where two agree right? Imagine thousands of us bombarding Heaven at the same time every week!!
    I would also like to be of help to other wives through email as you see fit. You know where I’m at in my marriage and I always thought I would need to wait until things are “back to normal” before I started helping others with problems, but since I have kind of already started trying to help my personal friends going through divorces with suggesting books and and praying for them…I feel like I can at least help with what I’ve learned thus far. With God’s help, I will do all I can to help you April. You just tell me what you think and what you’d like me to do.
    Happy New Year to you and your family!

  17. Hi April,
    Just a thought…. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Rejoice Marriage Ministries run by the Steinkamps, but it’s been a huge blessing to me. They just recently started posting Charlyne’s daily devotionals in Spanish. I myself speak English and Spanish and love getting the devotions in both languages. I think your ministry could greatly expand with minimal effort on your part if you could get a friend to translate your blog posts into Spanish. There are many hurting Hispanics both in the US and other countries and your devotionals would be such a help for them to have! If it wouldn’t take me forever and a day to translate things I’d offer to do it for you. Your ministry is such a blessing!

  18. Tami,

    Yes – I know I could not answer emails. But – I LOVE answering emails. I see God to miracles every day when I answer emails. It is a God thing, not a me thing. But – sometimes women do need someone, an actual person, to be able to talk with. Sometimes, for a few months, especially in the beginning of all of this learning. I love it – but I do think I may be at the point where I need some help sometimes.

    I love this idea. Hmm… I have been talking with Greg about it this weekend. Putting a lot of my posts on an ebook.

    I am working on a book about respect – but I have a feeling that there may be multiple books I may want to write – if it is God’s will. But the posts on an ebook thing – that would be pretty simple to do. Thank you for the great idea!

    1. Hello April,

      Just wanted to comment and say that I would also buy a book with some of your posts in it, esp. the basic rules.

      That’s the thing I struggle with most here, there is so much content (which is awesome) but it’s hard sometimes to find the basics/foundations/general rules.

      It would really be awesome to see a post called something like “10 Most Important Rules in a Relationship” or something 🙂

      Just a thought, you are so amazing regardless. I literally check this every day to see if there are new posts and then if there’s not I just read the archives. I have learned SO much in the last few months, thank you SO much.

      God bless!


  19. I am very thankful for the help I have rec’d through email. I would definitely need someone still to help me. My marriage is still off. I need help with how to handle his facebook addiction. Being silent seems to be the best right now. I am trying to continue to show him love and be kind despite being an annoyance in his life. It’s been a hard 17 yrs of marriage, but I want to be better.

  20. April, you have helped me with many situations, for which I’m extremely grateful – especially because I’m a new wife, in my second marriage, and I am determined to make this right, for God’s glory, for my husband, and for the sake of my daughter! I would love to be added to your prayer team. It would be an honor to pray for your ministry.

    Also, I’m sure you have plenty of ideas for books to write, but I personally would love to read more from you on overcoming self-deprecation, being confident in who we are as children of God, not allowing another person’s anger to make us feel like screw-ups. I think it would also be wonderful if you felt led to write a book of devotions, or a Bible study guide.

    I will pray for you and your husband to hear clearly from God on how to organize your time for this ministry in balance with everything else God has given you (family, work, etc.).

    1. Melissa,

      Thank you so much for sharing! I would love to have you on my prayer team! 🙂 THANK YOU most of all for praying for God’s wisdom. That is what we need, for SURE! 🙂 I also appreciate the ideas you have and will prayerfully consider them. 🙂

  21. April, when you are building your team of mentoring wives you may want to think of having them agreeing to a “terms of use” document. I don’t know if that is the right term but I am thinking of a document that generalizes what you consider to be appropriate mentorship.

    For example you seem to have specific guidelines with how you handle cases of abuse (seek help asap), safety (seperation if you or your children are in danger) and the rights of a wife in a marriage (being able to voice opinions, and needs in a respectful way). So you may want to ask wives helping you minister to agree to mentor along these guidelines.

    Some wives may consider themselves mentorship ready but subscribe to a whole different intepretation of biblical submission that you do not promote through your blog.

  22. Hi April, and g’day from Down Under! ( I don’t normally sound so colloquially Australian, but since you’re celebrating your far flung international reach…. I couldn’t resist.)

    Between discovering your blogs, and deciding to go and see a marriage counselor alone 6 months ago, (my husband originally wouldn’t attend – evidently everything was my fault,) my marriage has shown some wonderful improvement.

    Fortunately we started from a comparatively good place in contrast to some of the stories I have read. We have always remained madly in love. Our issue is we have always been terrible fighters, and share a similar fiesty, leadership-type personality. We have often joked that we are extremists – either can’t keep our hands off one other or we’re killing each other! Only thing is, in the middle of a war zone the joke isn’t funny anymore.

    During the past 6 months I have read through many of your old (helpful) blogs and tried to practice absorbing hurtful comments without retaliating; saying what I want/feel once only, then leaving it alone; trying not to demand my version of my husband’s undivided attention; and respecting his viewpoint even when I really, really, think he’s wrong.

    It has been very hard at times, and there have been tears and also those screaming-at-God-in-a-whisper-with-fist-clenched prayers. The ones where you’re demanding, “Do I have to put up with this rubbish!?” I am a fiesty, blunt, opinionated, Aussie, remember!

    To cut a long story short, my husband has noticably softened and whilst we have some distance to go, he will now apologise for harsh words/tone approximately 50% of the time after I have given him space to think and room for God to move. He actually attended a session with the marriage counselor just before Christmas (alone) which went 1.5 hours overtime! I was determined not to ask any questions, but he arrived home and sat me down and told me why he believes he is such a “fighter.” He basically kept me there for about an hour talking about why he reacts the way he does and asking how it affects me. Also he started up a New Year’s conversation with me in bed the other night, asking what I thought our marriage goals should be in 2014!

    You must understand, my husband is an alpha male, what we call a real bloke over here. He is not a pushover. I have been slightly stunned, and then incredibly happy at the changes.

    Thankyou for your blogs April. Some of them don’t fit our cultural context 100%, but the majority have been so helpful. I think managing your time better in regard to your site is probably needed. I did wonder how you stayed on top of it all! To add my two cents worth, the older posts have been invaluable to me as they seem to contain a lot of practical basics. The real life stories are great too and have often brought me to tears as I have identified with another woman’s struggle.

    Look forward to what you have to share in 2014. Bless you April x

    1. Rebecca,

      I am THRILLED to hear what God has done in your heart and in your marriage! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!! 🙂

      You put such a smile on my face this morning. I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you!

      Please keep me updated, and let me know if there is anything you want to talk about.

      Much love to you, my precious sister!

  23. I praise God for His works here. This is beautiful and wonderful all that He has done through you. I know it is all Him. It is so encouraging to see this and to know anything is possible in Christ. I pray for His hand to continually touch this blog so as long as you are seeking the King.

  24. My New Year’s Resolution is just ONE: To trust that GOD will be able to lead my HUSBAND in what is best for me and our family.

    I think all the KEEPING STILL and RESISTING THE URGE TO LEAD will take most of my time and energy!!! No resolutions / not much resolutions is the way I can combat my extremely efficient personality. 😉

    Praying for all of you dear sisters in Christ from all over the planet earth! 🙂

        1. Oh, it’s enormous. Trust in God.. I sort of felt like a slacker.. 🙂

          I did make progress on mine today. My husband was going to make us eggs and I just said thank you. I did not tell him the million and one things not to do with my eggs. Then he was making something “different” for dinner and I didn’t complain about it.. It was actually really good but when he told me what he was making I was just gonna make a sandwich.. He put vegetables in it. I don’t like veggies.

          Small things I know but normally I would have been all over him about trying to make me eat veggies. I couldn’t really tell they were in it if he hadn’t told me. Now, he’s watching TV in bed just happy as a happy thing in happy land that won an award for being so happy.. 🙂

          And he has new pants! So he did good today too!

        2. Veronica,

          That was true for me, too! It was the hardest thing ever for me to say, “God, I am not running ahead of You or Greg anymore if I have to sit here until I am 80 years old!”

          Realizing God was “SO SOVEREIGN” that He could actually direct me through my own imperfect husband was one of the biggest tests of faith for me.

          By the way, He IS that sovereign. 🙂 Just in case you were wondering! 🙂

          1. LOL! How silly we could really be to think HE was otherwise, April! I also used to say, “Lord, Thy Will be done!!!!” with much gusto,only to throw a tantrum when things did not go my way. OR “Lord, I give You my life!” then, get super worried and anxious and sad soon after.

            He IS sovereign and He is our BIG God. That is an amazing realization in and by itself. 🙂

            Yes, keeping still is my ONLY resolution. I think that pretty much will take up my whole year! It’s hard!!!

            1. Tyler Perry always says if you can get to the place where you can pray “Lord, Thy will be done” and mean it and accept that will, you finally trust God. Because he takes that request very seriously.

              I would like to think I would say yes to anything God threw at me or wanted from me. But I’m fully aware of how many times I apparently say no in a given day or week..

  25. Hi, April –

    I am praising God for how He is using your ministry – & to see how it has broaden this year. Wow! Your ministry has blessed me as well as my family. Just over Christmas break I *finally* got how submission is a huge blessing to my husband, how it builds him up in ways nothing else can. I also see how it takes a very powerful & amazing woman to submit because of how our world views God’s plan for women. I struggled with feeling like I was being “taken over” by submitting. Now I know peace like I’ve never known before which can only be achieved by being part of God’s plan for women. And I wouldn’t have reached this point so quickly without your ministry & you following God as you minister to others.

    I have prayed & will continue to pray for your marriage, family, ministry & for you as you seek balance. If possible, I would be honored to be part of your prayer team.

    May God continue to bless you & your ministry as you reach millions!

    1. Sally,

      I am THRILLED to hear that you are living in God’s peace!!! THAT IS AWESOME! I can’t wait to see all that God has planned for you.

      I would love to have you on my prayer team. Thank you so much for your encouragement, prayers and support!

  26. Ur blog has been a blessing to me. I started visiting around April last year. I was preparing to get married then, I got married in November. Still new at these things, my greatest prayer is to learn from ur experiences. I don’t have to go thru what u went thru in ur early years. I can allow my husband lead, and I can afford to respect him completely from now. I would not mind those ‘dares’ they can be very helpful. Something happened recently. We were supposed to attend a wedding in a village 2hours from the town we stay. We decided to take out our waste and drop at the town’s central place for dumping refuse. It turns out tht piece of land had been bought by a political thug and so refuse was no longer allowed there. Truth is he didn’t know, he didn’t even notice there was a small signpost there. (I moved into the town cos of marriage) so a part of me wanted to criticize y he didn’t know but I was calm. When the thugs rushed to him while he was still driving, he drove into a pile of dirt and got stuck there. Truth is I didn’t see y he wanted to drive off with those thugs clinging to the car. They can be wild but then again I just prayed in my heart. When we finished appealing to the guys, and even paying a fine. The me without ur blog and great books I have read would have created a song from the incidence and probably put it on replay. He would hv probably felt very terrible. This thing happened around 10am but before we could get the car out of where it got stuck was 2pm. God raised people to help us and we eventually left there. Thanks to pple like u, I chose to see it that God didn’t want us to make that trip. At about 12 my hubby still wanted to make it and I was willing to go along with him even though I had the nudge not to travel again. But everything went wrong till 2pm and he was the one who said to me in fact appealed to me, that we shouldn’t make the trip. That it could be a sign from God. Imagine if I nagged at that 12 and created some form of spirituality about not going and maybe added how he got us into the mess he should get us out. I felt good with myself at the end of the day. I stayed with him all thru trying to get tht car out. I could have gone home in anger and rage. My hubby takes things to heart naturally, I was so worried the event will affect him. He was instead very calm and I heard in my spirit ‘ u made that happen’. That is more powerful than flexing my vocal chords, trying to tell him how wrong he was. God bless u and please remember me in your prayers. P.S what’s ur take on fasting while pregnant?

    1. Edak,

      It is a pleasure to meet you!!!!

      I am sure your husband wouldn’t have minded if you had gently mentioned the sign if he didn’t see it. WOW! You had quite a lot of excitement that day just trying to go to the garbage dump. I’m SO GLAD you are both safe!

      I’m really glad you were sensitive to God’s Spirit and didn’t shame him. No doubt he felt awful already! I pray for God to continue this good work He has begun in you, my precious sister! I pray your marriage might be greatly strengthened and I pray that your life, your faith and your marriage might bring great glory to God – that He might empower you to be faithful and obedient to Him. 🙂

      As a pharmacist – I am not sure I would want to go on a total fast when you are pregnant. But you could do something like a liquid fast and have vegetable juice and juice. Or, you could just fast for 1 meal or just fast from meat for 1 day. There are a lot of ways to do fasting. But I would probably want to modify it during pregnancy so that you are not going all day without any calories.

      Sending you a huge hug my precious sister!

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