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A Wife Heals From Deep Childhood Scars

God has blessed us with MANY stories from so many wives recently who are sharing what He is doing by His power alone in their lives and marriages.  I know that this wife’s story will touch and bless you.  Thank you to her for sharing!
I am writing to express my heartfelt gratitude to you and the work that you are doing. I am 33 years old and I too have begun the journey to become a peaceful wife, and intend to see it to the end.
I have been receiving a calling to go into ministry over the last couple years but deep down the Spirit was moving me that my relationship with my husband needed to be repaired before I could minister to others.
It was by pure happenstance that I came across a video of yours on Youtube. At first I must admit that I was more than skeptical at your message and thought that you were cut from a different type of cloth :-). But as I listened more and more, Jesus spoke to my heart and I saw the truth.
As I began readjusting my heart and my attitude, like so many others, I am seeing immediate improvements in my relationship. My husband who had begun shrinking away from me, became once more the man I fell in love with. Amazing, thoughtful, loving, incredibly helpful and supportive.
But how did I get to that point of being so proud, controlling and almost resentful of men that I kept reminding myself to prepare for the worst?  Well, I hope my story can help someone else who has a similar past.
My Story:
At around the age of seven, I was sexually abused by my neighbor. The abuse lasted for a couple years and only ended when my family moved away. I had pushed the memory into my subconscious but unfortunately it all came rushing back when I saw the person again at around 16 years old. After that, it would be an understatement to say that my teenage years were rife with issues, I was constantly rebelling and getting into trouble. Added to that my dad was very verbally abusive to my mother, I remember how he would shout at her and embarrass her constantly.

I remember making several promises to myself that I would NEVER allow myself to be weak, to be powerless and taken advantage of as a woman.

  • I developed a strong and domineering personality, an attitude which propelled me at work, as I am now a successful professional.
  • But my personal life and connections suffered tremendously. I was very suspicious of people and expected the worst. When I let myself love (as with my husband) I only allowed myself to love up to a point and of course expected, and prepared for, the worst.
Within recent years, and after recommitting myself to God, I have been breaking down my many walls with His help. I admit that this one was the hardest.
How could I let myself “submit” to a man? After all I had been through?  It was a very hard pill to swallow.
Having started on my journey, I can honestly say that It has been quite liberating. I am learning to trust all over again. Like a baby learning to walk, I am
  • trusting that God will not let me fall and that he has blessed me with a husband who will hold my hand through it
  • learning that love and trust is not a sign of weakness but rather a gift from God
  • learning to relax and let peace and respect fill my marriage
  • learning to take instructions and corrections (a biggie) from my husband and recognizing him as the leader of our home, after 10 years of marriage.

I can’t wait to start my ministry and give witness to yet another testament of God’s love….He really is a chains-breaking God!!


9 thoughts on “A Wife Heals From Deep Childhood Scars

  1. I can relate to what this lady said. I too suffered sexual abuse as a child and grew up in a society where women are not respected. I saw my mother regularly abused by my step-dad and I vowed never to be weak. After marriage to my wonderful husband, I was always suspicious of his actions. I feared he wanted to control me and I resented every opinion that was contrary to mine. Sometimes my husband would say he felt I was punishing him for all the abuses I suffered at the hands of men!

    Even though I was a Christian when we got married, I never understood God’s view of marriage and my role as a submissive wife. Thank God for teaching me in recent months through your blog how to enjoy marriage God’s way. God has also taught me to deal with the pain and shame of my childhood abuse. The testimonies of Joyce Meyer, Christie Caine and other ladies have been phenomenal in this regard.

    I am determined to enjoy the life that Christ died for me to have: a peaceful and joyful life in every facet. I want to live for HIm and obey His commands because I know He wants the best for me, and the commands are for my protection and good.

  2. What a Blessing The Lord is doing in this Dear woman’s life ! I can relate to her story, and have said those same words ” How could I let myself SUBMIT to a man” !?! I had a grudge against all men. But as I’ve drawn closer to The Lord, I have came to realize all men aren’t monsters. I was Blessed with a wonderful husband, who has for the past 2 years dealt with my blows from the pain and scars of my past. The Lord lead me to this blog in January of this year to help me along this journey to becoming the woman God called me to be. April has been such a Blessing to me on this journey ! God is Good, All the time ! May The Lord richly Bless you all.

  3. I love hearing all these testimonies. I think most of us were probably skeptical the first time we read something on thus blog since it is counter cultural. But the more I read and the more testimonies that come through, I know it to be truth. Especially when I see the fruit of submission in my own life and marriage.

    1. Jessica,

      There is nothing I love more than to hear what God is doing in different women’s lives and marriages!

      I am sure every believing wife struggles when she truly understands what God is commanding her to do as a wife. His commands fly completely in the face of our human wisdom, our feelings, our intuition, our sin nature and our culture.

      That is why I love God’s invitation to “taste and see that the Lord is good.” 🙂

      I’m so glad you are allowing God to work in your heart and that you are seeing fruit already. 🙂 How wonderful!

  4. Wow!! Our God is an awesome He reigns!! I loved reading her testimony and how the Lord has delivered her and is restoring her marriage. I too struggle with receiving correction from my husband. The Holy Spirit is working with me on learning to receive His voice through my husband’s guidance and leadership and to respect it. I’m not always right contrary to my previous beliefs. He did place my husband in authority for a reason and I must respect and honor that. Her story of restoration is so similar to Mother Joyce Meyer’s story of whom I really respect as a mother in the faith. God will use her misery through her testimony as a ministry to help so many other women be healed from childhood wounds and overcome victoriously. To God be praised.

    1. Beauty as Designed,

      Isn’t it incredible how God is able to heal and bring beauty and good out of very difficult and painful situations?!? I love it! THANK GOD He IS ABLE!

      I am so glad that God is working in you, too. 🙂

      I’m really excited about what He is doing in your heart, your marriage and your ministry. You will probably receive quite a bit of opposition. But – there will be some who will listen to you and who God will radically change and heal. That makes it all worth it! 🙂

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