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A Wife Heals From Deep Childhood Scars

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God has blessed us with MANY stories from so many wives recently who are sharing what He is doing by His power alone in their lives and marriages.  I know that this wife’s story will touch and bless you.  Thank you to her for sharing!
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I am writing to express my heartfelt gratitude to you and the work that you are doing. I am 33 years old and I too have begun the journey to become a peaceful wife, and intend to see it to the end.
I have been receiving a calling to go into ministry over the last couple years but deep down the Spirit was moving me that my relationship with my husband needed to be repaired before I could minister to others.
It was by pure happenstance that I came across a video of yours on Youtube. At first I must admit that I was more than skeptical at your message and thought that you were cut from a different type of cloth :-). But as I listened more and more, Jesus spoke to my heart and I saw the truth.
As I began readjusting my heart and my attitude, like so many others, I am seeing immediate improvements in my relationship. My husband who had begun shrinking away from me, became once more the man I fell in love with. Amazing, thoughtful, loving, incredibly helpful and supportive.
But how did I get to that point of being so proud, controlling and almost resentful of men that I kept reminding myself to prepare for the worst?  Well, I hope my story can help someone else who has a similar past.
My Story:
At around the age of seven, I was sexually abused by my neighbor. The abuse lasted for a couple years and only ended when my family moved away. I had pushed the memory into my subconscious but unfortunately it all came rushing back when I saw the person again at around 16 years old. After that, it would be an understatement to say that my teenage years were rife with issues, I was constantly rebelling and getting into trouble. Added to that my dad was very verbally abusive to my mother, I remember how he would shout at her and embarrass her constantly.

I remember making several promises to myself that I would NEVER allow myself to be weak, to be powerless and taken advantage of as a woman.

  • I developed a strong and domineering personality, an attitude which propelled me at work, as I am now a successful professional.
  • But my personal life and connections suffered tremendously. I was very suspicious of people and expected the worst. When I let myself love (as with my husband) I only allowed myself to love up to a point and of course expected, and prepared for, the worst.
Within recent years, and after recommitting myself to God, I have been breaking down my many walls with His help. I admit that this one was the hardest.
How could I let myself “submit” to a man? After all I had been through?  It was a very hard pill to swallow.
Having started on my journey, I can honestly say that It has been quite liberating. I am learning to trust all over again. Like a baby learning to walk, I am
  • trusting that God will not let me fall and that he has blessed me with a husband who will hold my hand through it
  • learning that love and trust is not a sign of weakness but rather a gift from God
  • learning to relax and let peace and respect fill my marriage
  • learning to take instructions and corrections (a biggie) from my husband and recognizing him as the leader of our home, after 10 years of marriage.

I can’t wait to start my ministry and give witness to yet another testament of God’s love….He really is a chains-breaking God!!

 

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