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The Night My Meatloaf and I Got “Stood Up”

from photo bucket
from photo bucket

I worked an extra two days this past week in the pharmacy.  My husband appreciates it when I work extra.  So – I try to do this as a gift to him whenever I can.  Monday night I made an extra big meatloaf so that Greg wouldn’t have to cook supper the next night since I was going to be at work.  (Although – he doesn’t mind cooking when I work.)

When I told the kids I would be working extra – they REJOICED.

“YAY!!!!!  We get to go to Grandma and Granddaddy’s house TWO afternoons this week!!!!!!”


They miss me SO MUCH when I am gone.  🙂

We usually always eat supper together as a family at 5:00pm.  But when I work – I don’t get home until 6:45ish.   So, sometimes the kids like to eat at Grandma’s.  Plus – they get to have pizza or mac-n-cheese at Grandma’s – so it is an extra special treat.

I walked in the door Tuesday night – Greg hugged me in the front hallway,  looked at me very sheepishly and said,

“I WAS going to wait and eat leftover meatloaf with you.   Really!  I was!  But….  Mom made country fried steak.  And rice.  And gravy.  She just insisted that I eat with them.”

Country fried steak is Greg’s FAVORITE.  No one makes it better than his Mom.  She is an awesome cook!

Apparently – leftover turkey meatloaf doesn’t hold a candle to Mom’s country fried steak, rice and gravy.

Then he said, “I’m going to run to Lowe’s to get the rest of the slats for our daughter’s new bed.  Bye!”


  • pitched a fit.
  • got really upset and said, “I expected that we were going to eat together!!!!!  You know how much I love eating together!”
  • said, “You don’t love me!  If you loved me, you would have waited and eaten with me!”
  • fumed about Greg liking his mom’s amazing cooking better than mine.
  • reamed him out for not sitting with me while I ate.
  • assumed that I was not a big enough priority to Greg.
  • given him the silent treatment the rest of the night – or a long lecture – or multiple long lectures.

What good would any of these responses have done anyone?

Thankfully – none of those options even remotely tempted me.


  • understood how much Greg loves his mom’s cooking and told him, “I’m glad you ate with them.  That was so thoughtful of your mom to invite you to eat with them and for her to make your favorite meal.  I can’t blame you for going for the country fried steak over leftover turkey meatloaf.”  I smiled and gave him a HUGE hug.
  • ate my leftover meatloaf in the great room with the kids and asked them about their day while they played with Legos and wooden trains.  I enjoyed my meatloaf, too!
  • thanked him for getting the wood from Lowe’s so that Haley’s bed would be ready for her new mattress the next day.
  • thanked God for Greg’s wonderful parents and for their love for him, for me and for our children and that they live so close by and we are able to enjoy being with them so much.
  • made a mental note, “Make country fried steak more often!”
  • texted him a few flirty messages, “You are probably going to owe me a long massage tonight after standing up me and my meatloaf! ;)”  He said, “You’re probably right.”
  • thanked him for helping our son later with his homework.
  • enjoyed my amazing massage and all of Greg’s attention and a wonderful time of emotional/physical connection after the kids were in bed.

I hope this might inspire you to respond to your man with grace.

You have the power to decide whether to make something a huge, painful ordeal or whether to turn the evening into a memorable time of closeness to cherish.  Use your power wisely, my friends!

18 thoughts on “The Night My Meatloaf and I Got “Stood Up”

  1. Great example of responding with grace. , and sounds like your house is a fun place to live! I love ‘happy meals’ (a.k.a. any meal I don’t have to cook). That puts leftovers into that category. 😉

    1. Joanna,

      Thanks! I like leftovers, too. 🙂 It is SO MUCH MORE peaceful and there is infinitely more power to bless our marriages when we allow God to empower us to respond in His grace. Everybody win! 🙂

      1. Amen, April. That is so very true. I know God has blessed my union and continues to do so every day.

  2. Oh oh, I am not sure I fall in this category… Yesterday, dh and I were taking on webcam.

    Then, he said : ok I will call you later. (But it was about 9 pm. And lately, he doesn’t call me later, after this time.)

    Me : Why don’t you just say that we will talk tomorrow?

    DH : Why should I? I might just call you tonight.

    Me : Looking at what you have been doing lately, I doubt it. You always say the
    next day how you wanted to call me, but were busy with so and so and so.

    DH : (Surprised/hurt look on his face.) Ok, then, if you want. We’ll talk tomorrow.

    Me : Have a good night.

    Now, I must say, I felt guilty. He seemed surprised but a bit hurt. I think he was thinking why am I so picky on words? But, I don’t want him to promise something and not do it. And he knew he wasn’t going to call me back. And I don’t like fake promises, even so insignificant, as a time to call back.

    Anyway, I wonder, while reading the post today, could there have been a better answer or graceful attitude from me?

    1. Dear PW,

      I have been reading your last answer over and over and over since this afternoon. I don’t really know what to say, but thanks. It is so deep to swallow in one shot. I will also look for the book you mentioned. Have a good night.

  3. oh April, where were you ten years ago when I constantly had expectations of my husband and would get so bent out of shape when he didn’t comply!! This is a beautiful example of grace and flexibility. I spent years (and still struggle) being ruled by my emotions! Now I feel I may have swung too far and have too few expectations and perhaps don’t speak up enough about what I would like or need.
    Thank you for your continuous godly input!

    1. kk,

      I was having tons of impossible expectations for my husband 10 years ago! That is where I was!

      If you want to talk about how things are now, please let me know!

  4. I would never have expected my husband to wait and have dinner with me if something was prepared for him to eat. I think it is special if he waits until 6:45 when he is used to eating at 5. The idea of tearing him a new one for eating without me would not have crossed my mind and I do not consider myself graceful by any measure.

    Usually I read your posts and am inspired but since the first set of possible scenarios would never happen around here I doubt I would do any of the stuff you did such as saying I’m glad you ate. Perhaps that is where I need to find the inspiration here? Either that or I am missing something key.

    1. Elka,

      I am giving examples of how I have seen many wives respond to a situation like this in the first list.
      I don’t expect my husband to wait for me if he wants to eat with his mom and dad. The idea of getting mad at him did not cross my mind – but this is how MANY, MANY wives are living every day. I hear from wives who stumble over exactly this kind of thing.

      So – my hope with this post is to reach the wives for whom the first set of options is a real temptation every day – and to offer some examples of how to handle a situation with grace.

      I hope that clarifies things a bit.

      Thanks for your comment!

      1. I am so sorry I was thoughtless in my comment. I realized later that even tho I would never react like the first list there are so many areas that others handle with grace and light where I falter. I was just so taken aback in this instance but must confess that so many other times when you give examples of poor behavior I see myself. It is nice to know I do not fail in this one little area. Even if I know there are so many other times when I do react with a lack of respect

        1. Elka,

          This is one of those times that you can praise God there is an area that you don’t have to focus on much. 🙂 Every wife has her own areas where she does well and others where she struggles. I’m thankful that you don’t struggle in some areas. That is a definite praise. 🙂

          Much love to you!

  5. Wow! thank you! i plead guilty to most of the listed above. may the Lord help me have grace-filled responses.

  6. @Elka Bolhafner I could see this causing a rift. Its not just the eating without her. She is working at the pharmacy to help support the family per her husbands request. I think she has mentioned several times she would prefer to stay home.

    Then she didn’t get to eat dinner together with the family because of the workload (they ate together – without her). That might make you feel resentful or unloved of how hard you are working. Maybe even left out.

    Peacefulwife did the right thing handling the situation with grace and I am impressed by her response… a lot for me to learn from this site!

  7. What a great way to respond! I have to remember to fully think through the situations sometimes before reacting. It is hard to respond rather than react sometimes when our feelings are hurt.

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