This story is from a wife I have been communicating with since last winter. I shared her story first in the post, “My Husband Wants to Go Where?!?!?!” I know that each of us are at different stages on this journey with God. Different husbands are also at different stages. The issue of fertility and birth control is something we will each answer to God for – no one answers to me. Each couple’s story is unique. This is one wife’s situation – I believe her story might bless you:
I just had to write you today after reading your post about birth control – part 1 and part 2. I am so thankful that you were brave enough to take this on, because I know it is a very tough subject for many Christian women. I feel that your facts and explanations were dead-on.
In light of the recent emailing we had about this very subject, I also wanted to update you about what God had done in my marriage and family after convicting me about the truth of the birth control pills I was taking.
If you remember I had written to you because of the struggle I had physically and spiritually with taking birth control pills. My biggest issue at first was the complete loss of sex drive. After struggling with trying different pills for a year, I felt completely dead when it came to my libido.
(From Peacefulwife – hormonal birth control pills CAN definitely negatively impact a woman’s libido. Other drugs can lower libido or prevent orgasm in women and even men, too – especially anti-depressants. If you are suffering from a very low libido, talk to your doctor about the meds you are on and see if you might need to do something differently. If you are taking anti-depressants, do not stop them all the sudden, or they can cause rebound depression and even suicidal thoughts. Work with your doctor to see what you might be able to do to help your libido issues, please.)
The first time I wrote to you, you had mentioned a few other options and encouraged me as I wanted to follow my husband’s lead. At the time he had asked me to remain on birth control. I wanted to respect him, but in my heart something felt wrong. God fully convicted me when I read a blog post by a Christian woman who discovered what birth control pills were actually doing to her body. When I read that the pills can actually cause your body to reject a fertilized egg, because of how they affect the lining of the uterus, I was in utter shock. To me a fertilized egg is life, and all the years I was on and off birth control I may have actually unknowingly aborted a life that God had begun to create. I had always just thought that the pills stopped ovulation from occurring. I was really appalled by this knowledge. My heart broke and I prayed to God for forgiveness.
(From Peacefulwife – as a pharmacist, I know that USUALLY birth control pills do stop ovulation. But they may not always stop it. They also usually keep cervical mucus thick so that sperm cannot penetrate into the uterus. They also prevent the lining of the uterus from building up as much as it would normally after ovulation so that a baby could implant. Do pills cause an “abortion” in God’s sight? I don’t know for sure. If a woman on the pill did ovulate, would the cervical mucus also thin out? I don’t know as a pharmacist. No one knows for sure exactly what is happening when a woman is on pills on any given cycle. Some women get pregnant when they are on the pill and the baby does implant. Some women who are not on the pill may have an egg be fertilized and then it doesn’t implant. I don’t know what God thinks about all of these things. They are important issues for us to pray about, that is for sure! I do know that God’s wisdom is best and that is what I pray we each might find.)
I knew I had to speak with my husband, because there was no way I could go on taking these pills now that I had this information. He was receptive to what I had learned, and told me that I needed to stop taking them right away. Thankfully this was the end to all of that.
I realized so much after getting off the pill. Once my sex drive did return, I actually was in tears one night after spending time with my husband. He asked me what was wrong, and I was so grieved, yet so happy at the same time.
I had really been missing out on what sex was supposed to feel like. I knew I felt numb, but it was unbelievable how I literally wasn’t feeling anything. This was really disturbing to me. I started to remember what it felt like to desire my husband physically again, and I felt like it actually made it easier to submit and respect to him.
I also noticed my mood toward him was much more positive… maybe I had been having mood swings and didn’t realize it.
God showed me that not only was I possibly rejecting a life He began to create, but I was also really affecting our marriage and the bond we were supposed to share.
I have been praying to God for a chance to share this situation however I can… maybe at church in this women’s group I am in or with a friend that comes to me at some point. The truth is I had no idea what I was doing, and how it was really affecting my marriage. Sex is an important part of the marriage, and when you kill off that physical part there are going to be repercussions. There definitely were many in our marriage. When I look at it all in terms of what I’ve learned about respect and submission, I am just shocked at what the pill did for me in this area. How many other women are experiencing these side effects and don’t even realize how it’s hurting their marriage? How many other women like me don’t even realize that a pill does much more than stop ovulation? I am willing to bet that there are very many of them.
When you spoke about some of the feminists who were completely anti-God that started the birth control craze, I think about how evil it all feels, and how it really has the potential to ruin everything precious that God intended for the family and for marriage.
I praise God that he convicted my heart and showed me the truth. I was listening to the radio this morning and it was about this very subject, and then when I read your blog, I was even more thankful to God. I am so glad to be not only reinforced in this teaching in many ways, but also that it is going out to others to hear.
I also learned that God was prompting me toward all of this, because he had a bigger plan for my family. Within a month of being off the pill, I discovered I was pregnant! We are so happy to welcome a third child into our family sometime around at the end of next May.
Wow, if you could only have seen my husband’s reaction. He had been so iffy about having more kids previously, but he is so thrilled. He is talking about how wonderful it will be to have another little one around, and he has been so sweet to me.
God worked it all out for the good. His plan was to bring the truth to us, so that we could step out of the way and submit to his will. His will for us right now is this little baby, and I think because we know it is so meant to be, we have so much peace and joy surrounding the situation. I am so thankful to God.
I just wanted to share what God did for us with you, because I know you knew some of the story, but I wanted to get you the end result! 🙂 Also, my husband took us to church twice… if you remember he had asked me to wait on him to initiate. Praise God for that as well! God’s way is the best way, and for wives that truly is submission, and lots and lots of trust in God. Oh, and lots and lots of patience, too! 🙂
Thank you for always listening and for your wonderful blog that touches my life again and again every day. 🙂