She opens her mouth in wisdom; and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26
Nina Roesner shares a very relatable story in The Respect Dare – on Dare 12 – about a wife who had a rough day and asked her husband to take care of the dishes and put the children to bed so she could go to bed early. He agreed but then forgot to finish cleaning up the kitchen – she discovered this when she went to make coffee the next morning. She had a choice – to explode in anger or to extend grace, mercy and kindness with her words, remembering he had had a bad day the day before, too.
Nina shares that sometimes what seems like an inconsiderate action or insult – is really just an oversight by someone who is just as tired as we are.
Whether you are working through The Respect Dare book right now, or not, you can read my posts and participate in the discussion and challenges I give. Everyone is welcome! 🙂
WHICH IS THE MORE POWERFUL APPROACH?
Worldly wisdom tells us that if someone “drops the ball” we are entitled to blow up at them, get highly offended and demand that they do what we want them to do.
Worldly wisdom says that overlooking an insult means we are going to be “taken advantage of” – as if that is the worst thing that could happen in life.
Worldly wisdom says that we are totally justified to yell, scream, cuss, disrespect and emasculate our husbands if they don’t meet our expectations.
Worldly wisdom says, “I WILL have my way, no matter what the cost to others.”
Worldly wisdom says, “Life is all about me. Who cares what problems other people have.”
Worldly wisdom says, “I’m going to make him pay for what he did for me. I’ll show him!”
Godly wisdom says if someone makes a mistake and doesn’t meet my expectations to offer grace and seek to understand that person, offering mercy and forgiveness that I have been given in Christ.
Godly wisdom says that there are times when overlooking an insult prevents an unnecessary conflict and is an exercise in self-control.
Godly wisdom says that I am accountable for my behavior, attitudes, motives, actions and sins no matter how much someone sins against me.
Godly wisdom calls me to repay evil with good, to pray for those who mistreat me and to be kind to those who are cruel to me.
Godly wisdom knows when to gently confront and when to let things go.
Godly wisdom says that the person who insulted me may be having a bad day, too, or may be exhausted, in pain or stressed. I don’t have to necessarily take their insult personally.
Godly wisdom says, “I will wait for God to take revenge, it is not my place to seek vengeance. I will respond in the power and love of Christ when someone hurts me.”
(If your husband is physically abusing you or has an uncontrolled mental disorder or you have serious marriage problems – please seek godly, wise counsel!!!)
1. When you are tired, hormonal, have low blood sugar, etc… how do you normally interact with others?
2. How can you honor God today if your husband says something harsh?
3. When you are having a bad day, how can you sympathize with other people who may also be having a rough time?
It is better to say nothing than to say something hurtful. Let your words today be words of kindness.
From Nina Roesner:
“First comes the control,
then comes the ability to see things how God sees them,
then comes the ability to say things wisely to others.”
How are you doing with the dares?
What has been the biggest struggle so far?
What surprises have you had?
What victories have you seen?