One reason I write this blog is because I had a HARD time finding resources to learn about respect, godly femininity and biblical submission when I began my own journey 4 years ago. And when I did find resources, they often didn’t have many practical examples, or they had practical examples, but they weren’t from a Christian perspective. I was SOOOOO clueless about all of this stuff, that I needed “Respect for Dummies” or “Being a Godly Wife 101.” I didn’t have a mentor and I was unbelievably confused.
I would ask my husband constantly, “Is this respectful?” “Is that disrespectful?” I had NO idea. And, sadly, he wasn’t sure those first few months what he thought was respectful or not. I needed HELP!
I needed SOMEWHERE to start. A place to plant my feet and then I might be able to see more clearly where to go from there.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE ME!!!!!! 🙂
I give practical examples and suggestions because I needed something like that so desperately 4 years ago. Does that mean that the exact words I say and the exact things I do are the only way to be a respectful and submissive wife? NOPE!
I try to give many wives’ stories because I hope to expose wives to a variety of women and the different styles they have as they respect and submit to their unique husbands.
Submission and respect are not one-size-fits-all. Not for husbands and not for wives!
That is one reason I love the post about what husbands find to be disrespectful so interesting. It is a compilation from about 7 different men. They each have their own unique take on what disrespect and respect is. Some things are fairly universal, but then there are some idiosyncrasies that are wholly their own. I think it is FASCINATING to learn what it is to look at life from a masculine perspective and then to discover all the tiny nuances that are particular to each husband – it is like examining each beautiful snowflake under a microscope and learning to admire each one.
THE DETAILS ARE YOUR OWN
My hope is that I will give you a place to start and point you towards Christ and His Word. Then you can think about things, pray about the examples, tune in to God’s Spirit, talk with your husband if it’s appropriate – and find your OWN brand of how to make this work. God’s commands are the same for all of us, but we are each unique individuals and all of our husbands are different and have different preferences and needs and each wife has her own personality. So the practical application of obeying God’s Word will look different in each marriage. It will be up to you to hash out the details for your marriage!
If you don’t like the way I word things, do it in a way that you like better! If you try something and your husband doesn’t like it – that is not a fit for him – and that’s ok. It will give you a chance to talk with him and get to know what he would prefer and what would speak respect best to him. That is the important thing! This is ultimately about learning the broad concepts and then fitting them to your personality, your husband, your marriage and your life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BE YOU!
This journey will be a deeply personal one. No two journeys will look exactly the same. We each have unique personalities, perspectives, life histories, husbands, backgrounds and mindsets that will impact us and stamp our own fingerprint on how we do this.
Each wife will need to work out her own salvation with fear and trembling – and by listening intently to God’s Spirit and His Word and her husband’s leadership.
God has YOU in THIS family, in THIS home, with THESE children in THIS town and THIS country with THESE friends and acquaintances for His divine purposes. He has unique and wonderful plans for you that will be different than His plans for me. You have different gifts and talents than I do. He has a very special ministry in mind for you in your family, to your husband and for others that will bring you incredible fulfillment. I pray for you to abide in the center of God’s will for you – that He might accomplish His beautiful purposes in your life and might bring Himself the greatest glory through you, your faith, your marriage, your husband and your family!
YOU ARE WELCOME TO SHARE YOUR BRAND OF RESPECT AND SUBMISSION
If you would like to talk about what God has done in your life and your marriage – or how you and your husband work respect and submission, I would love to hear from you! I especially love details – a specific situation, a certain beautiful ritual that you and your husband share that is meaningful to you, words you use to show respect, examples of how you cooperate with your husband’s leadership cheerfully and joyfully… leave me a comment!
You’ll definitely want to check out Nina Roesner’s book, “The Respect Dare” and her FB page. She has worked with thousands of women in The Daughters of Sara program and her book has many stories of unique ways that women learn and apply respect in their situations.