Note – for a post about resetting our Valentine’s Day expectations, please click on this link.
I’m so thankful for this wife’s willingness to share her story. It is not all neatly tied up in a bow. Things are not good in her marriage, to say the least. But – check out what God has done in this dear sister’s heart! It is glorious!
And we ALL have access to this kind of healing in Jesus. Her experience is not unique. What God has done and is doing in this wife’s heart is what a “normal” Christian walk should look like. 🙂 I long for each of us to experience Christ like this for ourselves – no matter what may happen with our marriages and our husbands. He is Real Life and Real Love!
The Lord has been leading me to study Elijah for the past couple of months. Another thing He’s been speaking to me about is that something is about to happen in my marriage situation – telling me to “get ready” and that He makes “all things new.” The signs have been nothing short of miraculous, even though I don’t have any specifics, or a timeframe.
When my husband first left me and started pursuing divorce in 2015, the Lord told me to stand in the gap for my husband to come home to Him, Daddy – God, first and foremost. God showed me that my husband was a prodigal, and we all know how that story turns out – the Father showed unconditional love and forgiveness, and there was eventual reconciliation!
Having a reconciled marriage is way on down the list though, after my husband’s salvation and reconciliation to his Heavenly Father – so this “stand” is about something way bigger than my marriage!!
A VERY PAINFUL DISCOVERY
On Saturday I was alerted that my husband and his girlfriend have gone public with their relationship and posted pics on social media. We are still married – he’s not free to date!
I truly thought they’d broken up earlier this year (and I believe now that they had) but apparently they’ve just recently gotten back together. Anyway, it was traumatic to me b/c it caught me off guard – the images were hurtful. I started doubting God. I cried lots, and couldn’t sleep – was being tormented with the images I saw. He’s my husband after all, and as far as I was concerned, this woman was a thief!
WHAT NOW, LORD?
So I asked God what He wanted me to believe, and what I should do now?
Then on Sunday morning I had a vision in my kitchen – it was so powerful I dropped to my knees. In it, I saw myself hugging the other woman and petting the back of her hair while she sobbed on my shoulder. I saw myself trying to console her and saying “I forgive you. God has more for you than another woman’s husband! He loves you so much!”
You see, she’s broken and hurting too – just like my husband is. Their relationship started out of their shared broken marriages. Both were newly separated when they started dating, and I’m sure they bonded over their pain. That vision was a huge breakthrough for me – seeing her like Christ does. I love her & forgive her b/c Jesus does!
She’s a person created in His image and I pray for her salvation and heart change too.
I went to church. My prayer was still, “What do I do now – now that I’ve seen the pictures and it looks so hopeless? Should I still believe what You’ve told me Lord – that You want to restore things and that ‘something’s’ about to happen soon? Do I give up now, or keep standing firm?” I wondered if it was a test from God – to see if I’d believe what He’d spoken to me for weeks, IN SPITE OF what my eyes were now seeing. Hmmm.
It felt like Father was saying “do you still believe Me now that what you see looks THIS bad?”
He’s constantly told me to walk by faith and not by sight, but it’s hard to do when you see things in the natural realm that look so hopeless. I’m working on learning to believe what I see in the Spiritual, over what I see in the natural.
Our worship leader stopped in the middle of the song (which just happened to be THE song that The Lord has used most powerfully in my life this past year – Resurrecting by Elevation Worship) and he pulled out his Bible – said he wanted to share a story that we needed to hear.
It was the story of when Elijah prayed for rain but there was no cloud in sight [1 Kings 18:41-45] He said something to the effect of “there are a lot of people who have been praying for something for a long time but you don’t see anything happening. You need to know today that your prayers have been heard. God will do what He promised, but you must persevere and wait to see it. Get ready b/c it’s about to rain!!!”
Yes, Jesus! He used Elijah again – He knew that I’d pay attention b/c He’d already spoken to me about Elijah. Praise God!! I have symbolically pulled out my umbrella, rain coat, and wellies!! I’m ready for a downpour, Father!!
- THEN another breakthrough happened at the end of the sermon. The pastor asked, “What’s the one thing in your life that is so important to you that you feel you’d just fall apart if it was taken from you?”
A year ago I would’ve said “my husband/marriage.” And now that my dad may literally need a new heart (b/c his has become too weak to sustain him adequately) I’ve also felt that I couldn’t bear it if he was taken away from me anytime soon. “Please Lord, not my husband AND my Daddy!”
But in that moment when the pastor was asking that significant question,
I realized that the ONLY thing I can’t bear to lose is Jesus! It was a beautiful and freeing realization. AND I’m never going to have to worry about losing Him anyway! Amen?!!
It doesn’t mean I’ll never struggle again as I continue to walk this path – I’m sure I’ll be asking for prayers and encouragement again soon, as they help me endure. But at least now…
I’m absolutely sure that I’ll survive, and THRIVE, no matter what happens!
Praise the Lord for the mighty work He’s done in my heart and life these past 19 months since my husband left! Can’t wait to see what God does next! Please keep my husband and I in your prayers as this story continues to play out. It’s not over yet – praise the Lord!!
Yesterday as I was praying in my kitchen I had the realization that this is the first time in my entire life when I’ve truly loved myself and accepted myself as I am. I feel more freedom than I’ve ever felt before! I am someone that I would actually want to be friends with, and hang out with, and have in my inner circle. I am someone who is worthy of love (because God created me).
I have spent so much of my life with an oppressive Spirit over me, and agreeing with the lies of the enemy.
I was in so much bondage but I didn’t even know it until the Lord opened my eyes and then He set me free! Now I can’t imagine going back to the way that I was living before. Everything is not “perfect” and my husband is still a captive of the enemy – my marriage still looks deader than dead.
But God has transformed ME and changed my life!!
I feel a sense of peace and joy that I’ve never known before. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m going to be fine – even great – no matter what happens with my marriage, or any other situation I face.
I finally know (and BELIEVE) that I am who God says I am – loved, chosen, blessed, worthy, accepted, free, precious, priceless- a daughter of the King!! Praise the Lord!
THIS is exactly my prayer for each of us! That we might know God like this and know who we are in Christ like this! 🙂
A Divorce and Reconciliation Story by The Restored Wife
Kirsten’s Story – a Peaceful Separated Wife