I talked last week about how I am much more inclined to DO things than to “relax.”
I was thinking about that. And – I may need to clarify. Greg’s definition of relaxing is to cuddle together and watch TV. Talking is not necessary. So – when I say I am not good at relaxing, I guess I mean – just sitting in front of a TV screen for extended periods of time isn’t really my thing. Sometimes Greg will say, “Come over here and relax with me for awhile.” Of course, I deeply appreciate his invitation and always take him up on it! I am happy to be with Greg. And it is good for me to rest sometimes.
The past few years, as Greg has felt so much safer with me, we have often been able to combine what we both like – sit in front of the TV together, cuddle, and do some talking. If we can do some talking – now, that is fun to me! I don’t talk as much as I used to before I understood about respect. I used to talk ALL THE TIME. But I do talk more now than when I first started on this journey. Things are much more balanced now. I still leave periods of silence – because I know that for Greg, silence is important sometimes. He has some limits to how much he can hear about certain topics. I try to respect that and not exceed his limits. (I totally understand that. I have limits about how much I can absorb about sports or my son’s favorite video games, too!)
Sometimes I will sit beside him and read. Other times, I will purposely focus on whatever he is watching and make friendly comments every once in awhile. Thankfully, he doesn’t watch horror movies! It’s usually science, history, cooking, or sports. I can get more interested in science and history kinds of things. So, that can be fun.
Turns out, some of our husbands really don’t want us to DO tons of things for them, they would really appreciate us relaxing and enjoying them and just being together. How wonderful!!!
I TRY TO PURPOSELY ENJOY GREG AND OUR CHILDREN
Sometimes, I could easily allow myself to get so caught up in blogging, praying, reading the Bible, or even cleaning up after supper – that I could miss out on sweet times of fellowship with my family if I am not cautious about my particular tendencies. So, I purposely make sure that I set aside time for fun things. I know. I’m probably really weird here!
Some things we do to connect as a family are things like:
- going for a walk together around the neighborhood or at the Riverwalk
- watching science shows or even just AFV together and laughing together (but if we are watching TV as a family, I like to involve the kids in some occasional brief discussions, asking them to predict what they think will happen, or what they think about what we are seeing. And, of course, if there is something that is dishonoring to God, we talk about that and try to skip it or turn it off)
- listening to my son talk about the things he is interested in and how things are going at school
- listening to my daughter talk about her day and her ideas
- going to the back yard to swing on the big swings Greg built for our family a few months ago
- playing games together at the dining room table and having hot chocolate
- throwing a ball around together
- watching cute animal videos together on Youtube
- cuddling together
- joking together
- visiting with our children at their schools at lunch time
- going to the zoo or museum together
- looking at old pictures and videos
- going on day trips sometimes to national parks in our area
Husbands, how do you like to enjoy your wife and family and relax?
Wives, how does your husband like to relax? How do you like to relax together and enjoy each other and/or your children?