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A Wife Shares How God Is Leading Her from MAJOR Fear to Strong Faith


This dear sister in Christ shares what God has been showing her. I shared the first part of her story here. I am so thankful that she has allowed me to bless y’all with her story:

God has brought me a really long way since I last wrote. At the time I was dealing with severe mental and spiritual warfare and torment concerning fears about my baby. I was struggling in my marriage as well.

The obsessive fear did not just go away, but continued to be severe even after having our healthy baby girl and this situation lasted for months. I tried to find my way out but struggled without success. I consulted my pastor, who gave me wise advise and I went back to the advise you had given me. The things that you had written helped me, as well as some of your posts on fear, idols, etc have been extremely helpful to me, though not easy to swallow.

Shortly after this, my conscious trip towards deliverance began.

Of course the obsessions about my daughter’s health were just the top of the mountain of my problem, which in reality was that my soul could no longer be convinced about God’s goodness and sovereignty, in a way that I could experience peace and safety in His arms. I realize that this is the cause of my main struggles in my marriage too.


So, God revealed several truths to me using your blog, my personal study of the Bible, and seeking His face. Here are a few of them:

  • That I can’t feel and understand God’s sovereignty for what my future holds, because I do not realize or trust His sovereignty in the present. In order to trust Him for my future, I need first to experience Him being in control in my life right now.
  • That I am not experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit in defeating my fears and having victory, because I am not filled with the Spirit and do not have His fruit (joy and peace etc) and that is because there is sin in my heart (idols, pride, not respecting my husband, etc…).
  • That I haven’t let Him prove Himself good to me in regards to the bad things that happened in my past, but I have instead accepted the lies of the Devil that have totally distorted God’s image in my heart. I haven’t let Him heal me from my past wounds.
  • That I have been keeping idols in my heart for a long time (like being obsessed with the wish to have a baby) and I have been building my life on these idols, and that is why when these idols were torn down, so was my life torn down with them (like when I miscarried in my so desperately wanted first pregnancy). Also, He showed me that even though the idols were torn down, I still had not recognized them as idols and denied them, but in reality what I have been doing was sitting down and mourning over their broken pieces, and that is why my life was stuck and I was not getting healed. I could not get over the hurt about the miscarriage even though I was experiencing God’s restoration in that He gave me another baby! I wasn’t letting go. (From Peacefulwife, desiring a baby is a good thing, and mourning over a loss is normal and necessary. There will be a lot of emotions and grief in that situation. That is inevitable. It is not wrong to desire a baby or to mourn over a tragic miscarriage. The issue comes when we put something – anything – above Christ in our hearts and desire those things, even if they are good things, more than we desire Christ, that is what she is talking about.)
  • That He is doing a work of demolition and reconstruction in my heart. He is building the walls of my soul like Nehemiah was building the walls of Jerusalem and it is going to be a process rather than an instant relief. Most importantly, He is reconstructing His temple in my heart, which means He is rebuilding the truth in my heart about Who He is. He showed me that I need to be patient through this process, fighting to seek Him and fighting to stick on His promises, while He is “taming my heart” all over again.


So my journey started when I realized I needed to do it God’s way. That was concerning the obsessive fears that were destroying my everyday life, because that was the most urgent problem in my life at the time.

It has not been easy – dealing with all the demonic oppression, trying to invest time in some serious prayer, worship, and study in order to survive just through the day while I needed to be a mother, which was a new challenge in my life. There were many times I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but I knew I needed to persevere if I ever wanted to be free. I was suffering anyway, so I thought – let the suffering be toward deliverance. I don’t know how I made it through some days.

I had to learn to wait on God even if it felt like I’m dying. I had to deny any other comfort to my obsession and fears, that I was so addicted to, and remain with all the lies playing over and over in my head until God’s peace started to gradually replace them. I had to do it His way. There were times I felt paralyzed, just struggling to breathe… I think I maybe was having panic attacks. (From Peacefulwife –  please seek godly, wise, biblical help if you are struggling this much and even medical help if necessary!!)

By God’s grace, I can witness that I am doing much much better!

I have been facing some challenges during this pregnancy as well, like fears trying to take over again, but it is nothing like it was before, God is giving me the grace to have victory over them. I see there is still the tendency for me to fall into fear, it looks like my soul is still easily influenced by fearful thoughts, but this time I am learning how to take these fears to God and let Him put His truth in my heart, instead of trying to find a way out, in my own wisdom, which in reality is foolishness. I am trying to avoid any kind of conversation with the devil. It takes practice. And a lot of caution and prayer.

The Devil is smart, sometimes it looks like he may be gaining ground again. But when I hide myself in God, I can be smarter than him, I can overcome his attacks and move forward – by God’s power in me. So, I’m learning that every day. I’m still learning and seeking God and waiting until He finishes the work of construction that He started in my heart, so I can one day witness that fear is a completely defeated enemy in my life. God will convince my soul that He is bigger than all my fears, meaning that He has the way to cover my soul from getting harmed no matter what happens.


Fear Fuels Our Need to Control

Facing Our Deepest Fears

Experiencing God’s Victory Over Fear

What Does Casting Your Cares on the Lord Look Like?

The Idol of Happiness

How to Make Your Husband an Idol

The Answer to All Your Marriage Problems


32 thoughts on “A Wife Shares How God Is Leading Her from MAJOR Fear to Strong Faith

  1. Wow, I so needed to hear this today! I recently found we’ve been blessed with another pregnancy; another child. However, I’ve been feeling so fatigued, dizzy, etc (due to hormones, according to the doctor) that I’ve been having a really hard time this time around. Saturday night, there was a teeny-tiny spot of blood in my urine. Like, really small. I started to worry, even though w/my first pregnancy I had full-on periods and my daughter was fine. Then yesterday, I woke up feeling totally normal… almost as if I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. Rather than be thankful that God was granting me a brief reprieve of the crazy symptoms, I began to worry even more about the baby’s safety. Was he/she still OK? I’d just had an ultrasound the Monday prior and the baby was so active… now I was worrying again (like I did with my other two healthy pregnancies!)

    Ugh! I was doing so much better at letting go before! LOL.I think I may have bought into the lie that I am the one responsible for this little one’s life. We like to think that… but I can only do what I can do. I’m not God. I’m not the all-powerful protector of this child, as much as my heart may wish I could be. I need to remind myself that no matter what happens, this little one is God’s first. I may be the vessel He chooses to bring him/her into the world, and to teach him/her about the Lord, and I will certainly do so if it’s the Lord’s will, but I also need to learn not to hold so tightly… even to the good things the Lord gives me.

    To April, and to the wife who wrote this: please keep me in prayer. I don’t want to live in fear anymore… I want God to be so in control of my life that the peace He gives is there for all to see. I want to be a role model of how to handle potentially fearful or stressful situations. Please agree with me in prayer about this. Thank you for your love and your prayers.

    1. blessedout,

      I think that being pregnant brings fears and temptation to want to control the uncontrollable and temptation to disrespect our husbands to the greatest heights – well, menopause probably can rival that. But us having all those crazy hormone changes and not feeling well makes things so much more difficult!

      Praying for you to rest in God’s sovereignty, and to have wisdom to make wise decisions. Praying for your baby and pregnancy. I know that God can give you victory over these fears. I vote to write down your fears and then replace each one with God’s promises from His Word and His truth.

      I love your heart for Jesus. I can’t wait to see all that God has in store to teach you spiritually during this time.

      Much love!

      1. April,

        You know, it’s crazy… it’s been bothering me so much, but after confessing those fears to you ladies (and also confessing to my husband after reading the blog and my reply to him), I have felt SO MUCH more peaceful! I haven’t worried nearly as much today, and I’m so thankful for that! As you said, it brings the temptation to want to control and disrespect – both things that aren’t good! Before I learned about Love and Respect and the freedom respectful behavior gives a woman, I would have blamed it all on the hormones, mistakenly thinking it was IMPOSSIBLE to control myself in that area… but now I know that’s not true! I have seen people who live in great pain every day, who have all kinds of difficult things going on, honoring God and their husbands: it IS possible, with God’s help! So now instead of being defeatist about it, I am standing on God’s promises and the goodness He’s already shown me, and refusing to give in so easily. I stumble and fall sometimes, of course, but the beautiful thing is that now I know I can STAND. 😀

        I love the idea of writing down fears and replacing them with God’s truth – I will definitely use the exercise when fear threatens to bombard me again! 🙂

        I actually did a little bit of that this morning… I was fretting and recited a few verses over and over in my head about what God says as opposed to the wrong things I was thinking. 🙂

        Thank you so much for the encouragement… and I love YOUR heart for Jesus! 😀

  2. This was such an excellent post. Thank you to the sister who shared it! The lessons the Lord is teaching you are profound. Keep pressing in to Him–It is obvious He is working mightily in your heart and life! He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ! (Philippians 1:6) That is His promise!

    Much love,

  3. “There were many times I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but I knew I needed to persevere if I ever wanted to be free. I was suffering anyway, so I thought – let the suffering be toward deliverance.”
    As someone who struggles immensely with fear, I can relate to this statement. So thankful for our gracious God who is always there to walk us through these valleys. I appreciate this post today, such an encouragement.

    1. Julia,
      Thank you for sharing! These are battles we must all face. But PRAISE BE TO GOD that we don’t have to live in fear and that we can experience freedom and victory over fear, worry, and anxiety.

      Much love to you!!!!!! I’m here if you need to talk more about anything.

      You can also search “fear,” “anxiety,” and “worry” on my home page search bar for even more posts. 🙂

      1. Thank you for the encouragement! I am learning, slowly, but surely that I don’t have to DO EVERYTHING ALL OF THE TIME!! I’m a very productive person, always planning and moving towards something. If my schedule isn’t full I’m typically looking for something to fill it up with. I get bored and disinterested in things fairly quickly and am always looking for the next ‘challenge’ so to speak.

        It’s hard for me to label my fears specifically. I more am like a personality wired’ walking stress-bomb. I become quickly agitated when other people close to me live with life with the same intensity or urgency that I do. God is slowly revealing to me the amount of pride I hold within myself and how little trust or willingness to trust I have towards others-primarily Him.

        Last night, when I was reading scripture and praying, the Lord really instilled in me that one of my biggest stumbling blocks what that I did not know how to wait. That I would pray, then plan-pray, then plan-pray some more and then get frustrated that I was doing *all the work…* LOL…. Yea I’ve had it all wrong. I’m learning that there is a entire biblical attitude towards waiting (one of hope and expectation) that seems so foreign to me. When I picture waiting, all I feel is worry and fear-like there’s no way it’s going to turn out ok if I just sitting here. Obviously God has so much more to share with me on this topic. In the mean time, I’ve dedicated to waiting in the best ways I know how in several areas of my life and aiming to trust (in the best, however faulty ways that I can) that God will lead.

        1. I read you post on waiting, we do sound so much alike! In my time studying scripture, I’m realizing how important, even necessary, waiting is for spiritual growth. Without it we are just moving continuously, almost aimlessly, most likely missing God’s entire point for our lives. Have you ever read, “Knowledge of the Holy” by Tozer, such an eye opener to the significance, the need for Christians and the Church to see God as completely marvelous, breathtaking, and absolutely holy and omnipotent. It brings me to my knees when my eyes start to see how much I have missed! So thankful for His everlasting patience, grace and love for His children.

          1. Julia,

            Thank you for sharing that book by Tozer. It sounds amazing! I’m excited about your journey and all the waiting you are going to have the honor of doing as you learn to be still before God and wait on His timing, His wisdom, and His sovereignty. 🙂

  4. Another one written for me! I often used to say I am a worrier by profession. I often find myself caged in by fears and anxiety about things: fear of flying. Fearing for my children’s well being. Anxious about my marriage (which is really sound) about losing my job. About us not being able to provide for the family. When travelling to my country of birth I get anxious about the drive: what if something happens. What if the kids are injured.

    I’m a constant pot of a variety of worries and anxieties that it’s often left me unable to fully enjoy and embrace life.

    I would love to be set free from this! Thank you for the post and the subsequent links to the others dealing with this subject.

    1. Lebo and Ladies: Isn’t fear the devil’s best scheme against us, especially as mothers? I have experienced everything you guys have mentioned-starting with 2 miscarriages before my healthy(now 19 yr old) baby boy. God helped me most recently conquer the fear of separating from my son as he went off to college. I kept remembering-I prayed so hard for this child after my miscarriages and the same God that blessed me with him would carry him safely to whatever his destiny in God will be. I do not know his journey,nor am I in control of it, but I do know his destination-which is eternal life!
      Lebo specifically-I JUST got over my fear of flying last year. I flew no problem before kids, then something happened after my second child was born and the fear became my bondage. I had a successful trip from Virginia to Vegas with my husband after much prayer and an anti anxiety med just in case. With God’s grace, I never opened the medication and just flew to Palm Beach with my husband last month. When I think of the wonderful bonding with hubby I would have missed out on if I let the fear take over, I am so mad that the enemy held that control over me for 14 yrs! I have great verses for that fear too if your interested.Fasting also helped.
      Finally-ladies, I ask for your prayers now as I prepare to let my now 16 yr old and last child fly from what will then be an empty nest. I can’t imagine my life without my kids here-and lately I have been having bad dreams about losing my baby girl in public places(the enemy doesnt let up,even in our dreams!)
      so I have to now eat my own words that the same God who blessed me will sustain me!
      Love that we can all fight his schemes together!

      1. BLessed,

        Thank you so much for sharing your story! I love what God is doing in your heart to help you have victory over fear. Such a beautiful thing! Praying for you to deepen in your trust and faith in Christ and that you might set a beautiful example to your children of resting in the sovereignty, wisdom, protection, love, and will of God even in the midst of uncertainty and trials.

        Much love to you!!!

        1. Thank you April! Being an example to them is yet another reason I hadn’t thought about to help in this transition.

      2. Amen, Blessed!

        I’ll keep you in prayer. I have young children, so I can’t relate to what you’re going through, but I can imagine how difficult that would be. I know I have a hard time just when they have a sleepover at Grandma’s house… not necessarily because I’m fretting the entire time (though I’ll admit it happens off and on), but because I just miss them.

        What a wonderful work the Lord was able to do in you by showing you how right you were to face your fear rather than live in bondage to it. Rejoicing with you in that! 🙂

        1. Thank you Blessedout! I know people probably tell you this all the time, but treasure this time,as it goes sooooo quick😊

          1. Yes! It really does! I remember with my first, it seemed like she took FOREVER to grow (because we had all of our energy focused on her), but when I had my second, she grew up ALL AT ONCE! I couldn’t BELIEVE how fast it went by… Oh, my! It was unbelievable. It felt like she grew 3-4x faster than her big sister. 😮

    2. Lebo,

      You CAN be set free from fear! As you draw nearer to God and you seek to trust Him and put your faith in Him, as you understand His sovereignty and love for you more and more – your fears will melt away. Not that your fears couldn’t come true, but that you can see how much bigger God is than your fears and how He is trustworthy and faithful even if we face our deepest fears.

      I invite you to search my home page for:

      – fear
      – anxiety
      – worry
      – discontentment
      – control
      – contentment
      – submission means we hold the things of this world loosely

      I am so excited about what God is going to do in your soul!!!!! Let me know how you are doing, my precious sister!

  5. Great post. At times I find myself questioning if I really CAN ever be free from being controlled by my fears. If I am not scared of one thing, then it’s something else. I never want to do anything…change jobs, buy a house, have a kid, because I am so terrified of change and upsetting the way things are (even if it is for the better!!). Of course this has caused conflict with my husband who is not this way at all. I know that it is for freedom Christ set us free, but much of the time I still feel enslaved.

    1. Hi Anon,

      I’m not sure if this is something that will help for you (as, of course, I don’t know your specific situation), but one thing that really helped me calm down a bit in the fear department was learning to respect my husband as the Bible commands me to. When I began to study God’s command to respect, I came upon the realization that it’s not optional or limited to only those husbands who “deserve” respectful behavior. My husband is amazing, but my standards of what he should be doing has been different from his, and because of this, I had gradually lost a little bit of respect for him over time. It snowballed until I found myself rolling my eyes at practically everything he suggested, because it wasn’t what I would do. I’m so grateful God finally opened up my eyes to my disrespect, and because God said to do it, I was determined to do it to the best of my ability, with His help.

      I began implementing some of the things that Emerson Eggerichs (author of the book “Love and Respect”) encouraged wives to do, and I also regularly read this blog. It was greatly encouraging to know I had a community of women who were on this journey along with me, and it motivated me even more.

      I wasn’t expecting to let go of fear as a result of my studies… it wasn’t one of my goals, but sort of came along as an unexpected side effect. It was wonderful: I used to stress to the point of feeling sick to my stomach about finances… but God had showed me that I am not responsible for our financial situation: that’s a responsibility He’s entrusted my husband with. I’m just to pay the bills at the proper time… as a helper to him. Rather than being the “business-owner,” I became the “secretary”. That took a huge load off my shoulders. During that time, God showed me that I was upsetting the balance that He so wisely created. I realized that if I were to respect my husband, there would need to be a lot of letting go. I had to come to the realization that God is in charge: He gives and He takes away. I needed to yield to my husband as well as to the Lord in order to honor both of them the way I’d been shown.

      It’s weird… there have been SO MANY TIMES I have struggled with fear and worry. I have asked God to take it away from me, and my husband would get frustrated with me because I fretted about EVERYTHING… but it wasn’t until I realized how desperately I needed God to renew my heart, mind, and soul, to make me a respectful wife, that I finally started to make progress on worrying. It was almost as if I was “stuck” because I had a greater sin that needed taking care of first.

      Like I said, I don’t know your particular situation, so I don’t know if this will even be helpful to you (I hope it is! 🙂 but I just wanted to give you something to think about. I wonder if sometimes God allows us to get “stuck” so we’ll get to the point where we’re uncomfortable enough to see the need for change where we couldn’t before.

      God bless you, friend. I’m praying God will, indeed, free you from your fear.

    2. Anon,
      On your own you cannot be free from that prison of fear. But – through Jesus, OH YES YOU CAN be free from the fear! I used to be filled with tons of fear, worry, anxiety, and stress. Why? Because I had SELF on the throne in my life instead of Jesus, and didn’t even realize it. And because I trusted SELF way more than I trusted God and because I thought I was in control of so much more than I really am and I didn’t understand God’s sovereignty.

      As you allow God’s Spirit to flood your soul and to show you any sin that needs to go, and you repent of sin and allow Him to change you and transform you – His perfect love casts out all fear. 🙂 And His peace fills your soul to overflowing and bubbling over. It is the most amazing thing in the world.

      Right now, you probably are enslaved to fear, and possibly idols. Many times our idols are the opposite of the things we most fear.

      You may want to also search my home page search bar for:

      – fear
      – worry
      – anxiety
      – discontentment
      – contentment
      – idol
      – idolatry

      Let me know how you are doing! Jesus has already opened your dungeon door and broken your shackles. You can walk into the freedom, peace, and joy of His glorious truth and a deep relationship with Him where you trust Him fully and allow Him to be your LORD. When He is in charge, there is peace. He is the Good Shepherd. And He is the Prince of Peace.

      Much love!

      1. Thank you for this! I know that it truly is possible, it just feels so enslaving sometimes. The thought of being able to live this life as if I actually believe that it is not the only one is sooo exciting to me…it’s what I want. Just the thought of not stressing about every little decision already feels freeing. I told my husband today that I just realized how sinful it is that I say I am fine if God’s answer is 100% yes or 100% no, but I just can’t handle the waiting and not knowing. I just today had my eyes opened to the fact that I am trusting in my circumstances and my (illusion of) control rather than in God and his character. How prideful of me to try to put God in a box that I was comfortable with…like I can say, “I will trust you if…”

        This is just the beginning for me, but I so badly desire to be freed from the worry and fear everyday and live this life knowing that this world is not all there is.

  6. Perfect love-how it should be -100% trustworthy, 100% caring, 100% present 100% protecting 100% loving 100% devoted 100% reliable 100% strong 100% capable 100% all-knowing 100% powerful 100% guiding 100% there 100% safe 100% perfect parenting 100% accepting 100% approving 100% ahead of Satan 100% counselor 100% real love not fake 100% secure 100% real and the real deal 100% provider 100% knower of your needs and desires 100% a true friend 100% creator 100% physician 100% fulfillment 100% peace 100% joy and contentment 100% good and kind 100% sustaining 100% reliable 100% life-giver 100% rescuer from troubles 100% for you 100% a perfect father and mother 100% gentle 100% faithful . he is all these things and more. Cry out to Him with all of your heart. trust Him with all of your heart and even in the darkest and most fearful of times, He will meet you there. quiet yourself – listen for His still quit voice. he will not disappoint you. he has every resource available to Him. Look around you it’s all His. you are His.

  7. Just read an awesome book called, Becoming an Oak of Righteousness by Joann Burkholder. I highly recommend for everyone who follows Peacefulwife. The messages are beautifully compatible.

    1. Peaceful wife

      You mentioned that you read 30 or so books regarding how to be a wife – can you share those with usso we can learn too?

  8. “That I can’t feel and understand God’s sovereignty for what my future holds, because I do not realize or trust His sovereignty in the present. In order to trust Him for my future, I need first to experience Him being in control in my life right now.” “That I haven’t let Him prove Himself good to me in regards to the bad things that happened in my past, but I have instead accepted the lies of the Devil that have totally distorted God’s image in my heart. I haven’t let Him heal me from my past wounds.” Those are the two points most identify with. I feel like the past 7 months have been the toughest in my life and I have nearly gone crazy as a result, and the fear is what nearly drove me nuts. And Im at this point where I am always letting the lies of the enemy overwhelm me and I find it so hard to trust God through and through. I dont know how to go a day without worry or wondering if God is really there or if what He told me is really true. Prayer time is so forced sometimes because I feel like no one is listening most times. I feel like the enemy has really distorted my view of God or shaken me so much that I almost believe God hates me sometimes. I feel like I am battling 24/7 with fear. God is patient with me, but I feel I am letting Him down by fearing and acting or not acting in fear rather than just believing Him and letting go of what happened in the past. Please pray for me concerning this.

    1. Katelin,

      I can understand the desperation and discouragement you are feeling. I lived in fear for so long!

      If you haven’t, I encourage you to read Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Especially the parts about God and our emotions. I think that may be such a blessing.

      But I also encourage you to check out sermons by John Piper or David Platt about God’s character. Or you can look up Wayne Grudem’s podcasts for Systematic Theology and listen to “The Attributes of God.” It’s time to get rid of the lies you are believing about God and yourself and focus on who God really is and how He is sufficient for you and He can take care of you and keep His promises!

      You may also spend time in the Word focusing on the character of God and His attributes. Praise Him every day for every good thing He does and has given to you. Focus on Philippians 4:4-8. Ask God to show you the lies and sin in your life and to help you get rid of it. Ask Him to regenerate your heart, mind, and soul and fill you with His Spirit.

      How did you come to know Christ, my sweet sister?

      Upon what do you base your faith and how do you have a right relationship with God?

      Also, you may search my home page for:

      – feelings
      – emotions
      – insecurity
      – fear
      – bitterness
      – contentment
      – security
      – idol
      – idolatry
      – Holy Spirit
      – prayer (there are many, many posts where I teach about how to pray in faith)

      Much love to you! You are not alone, my precious sister!

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