That actually ties in to what God revealed to me last night through His Word and this morning while meditating on it. Your words and example of being still and waiting on God have got me thinking about that further. We’ve spoken before about how waiting is such a difficult but important part of this journey. I see how God can and is using this time of waiting to teach me and draw me closer to Him.
I also know that I don’t really have any other choice — I can’t force my husband to make a move so I am stuck waiting, whether I like it or not.
I’ve felt like I’ve been able to accept this waiting period for what it is to some degree, but I see now, that I haven’t fully embraced it. Being still and waiting isn’t just about my outer life — my actions and situation. It also has to include my inner life — thoughts and feelings. I’m not doing so well in that area. It’s hard not to be thinking about what I can be saying or doing or plan how to handle something and then analyze all the different reactions to it and where to go next or to try to interpret every move and word from my husband … this is NOT being still!
I have been reading Genesis and Psalms, at least a chapter in each, daily and last night, as I was waiting and wondering about my husband and so confused about how to handle the situation, I almost didn’t read it. I had been praying, reading other things, it was late, I was exhausted, physically & emotionally, and I almost put aside my Bible reading. But then I thought there’s really no reason not to read a Psalm, at least. I do always feel better and there are a lot of short ones. And then, after that, I did read from Genesis, too.
- April, I just can’t believe how clearly God speaks to me through His Word! EVERY SINGLE DAY there is a message for me, from stories I’ve known since a small child, there’s always something new that I’ve never understood before! It’s truly incredible!
Last night I read Genesis 26 where God commanded Isaac to stay in the land where He had put him, despite famine and hardship, promising to be with him and bless him. Isaac stayed and God blessed him so richly that it was clearly apparent to all around him that he had God’s blessing and they were threatened (convicted) by it. Coincidence that I should read that passage? I’m just blown away by how pertinent the accounts in Genesis have been in my life as I read through it.
The Psalm that really spoke to me was chapter 13. David is crying out to the Lord who has seemingly forgotten and turned away from him. He questions “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?” (vs 2a) and demands that God look on and answer him (vs 3). He is in complete anguish in verses 1-4 then the final two verses are a complete and drastic turn around! For no apparent reason, he doesn’t allude to any improvement in his situation, he says
“But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” (vs 5-6).
So as I’m laying in bed last night after reading these passages, praying and thinking about my husband and how I should handle all of this, I realize how clear God’s message is. I am to stay still and wait, clinging to God’s promise to be with and bless me, not just despite but because of hardship. And that this being still has to extend to my heart and mind as well. I need to let go of my anxious thoughts and feelings, my flawed and inadequate attempts to change and improve things. How?
Here’s the key: Trust in God’s unfailing love. Rejoice in His salvation. Sing of His goodness.
That is where my heart and mind must be focused if I am truly going to be still and experience God’s peace and presence in this storm. Isn’t that beautiful? I know these things, but it was so incredible to have it laid out so clearly in the Scriptures I just “happened” to read and almost didn’t! I love it!!!
My Secret Idol (a wife makes her husband’s salvation an idol)