I am on an email vacation right now – finishing up my book. Please pray for God to give me His Words and His wisdom! It has got to be ALL Him, not me. Please pray for Him to direct Greg and me as we make a lot of decisions we have never made before about how to publish this book.
There is a rather nasty ice storm coming to South Carolina within the next 24-48 hours. It is very possible that I may lose power for a few days. If I am not responding to comments, that is probably what has happened. I will respond as soon as I am able. 🙂
from a wife, thanks to her for allowing me to share her story:
Wow! This site was a God-send for me and my family! After having another outrageous argument with my husband about how he felt that I did not respect him, I was at work, crushed, having what I now see as a “damsel in distress pity party” because I was so unloved and my husband was so cold and we might as well get d*v*rc*d (it’s a bad word). And finally I decided that I would try one more thing – I googled “what does it mean to honor your husband.” That was the Holy Spirit helping me save my soul as well as my marriage!
The night before my husband was going through what has been our monthly “warfare ritual” where we had been doing okay for a few weeks then “it” finally boiled over into a heated argument. Within the last four months those rituals included me – a “Christian” woman – cursing, kicking in the tv, writing emails saying “its over,” him saying “its over,” etc. He seemed so distant, cold, irritated and unconcerned with my feeling that I was starving for love in the marriage. After being married 10 years, we were constantly slamming into a brick wall and we each felt like we loved each other but we had to get out.
I now see that everything was coming to a head because of that Crazy Cycle (Dr Emerson Eggerichs Love and Respect) without love>women react>without respect> men react > without love… That cycle began to spin like a tire on a Jaguar going 120 mph! The cycle wound our hearts up for 10 years and now it was just spinning out of control.
But thank God, we were fighting for the marriage. My husband attempted to talk some sense into me. But my self righteousness and arrogance had me on this (I hate to admit it but) truly demonic throne where I would decipher each word from his heart and turn it into either an accussation against his character, a charge of hatefulness against me or some form of neglect in meeting my needs.
In just two short hours or so after reading through this blog, our marriage has been saved! I am convinced of it. I went into his email and archived the hateful, damning email that I sent to him earlier before he read it and then I sent him a brief email apologizing and telling him how I really knew that he was an awesome husband and Christian man and I just didn’t get what his need was and now I do. I shared a link to one of the posts here for him to give me his thoughts if he wanted to.
When I saw him that day it was like a heavy boulder was lifted off of him and he was elated. We didn’t have to go through our usual 5 days of ignoring each other and whatever. We just instantly became best friends again!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I still have so much work to do and I am on a mission to get out of all of this sin! I thank God for your site and the many marriages that this will help! We need this Good News in our world today!
For those who are having extreme issues in their marriages: infidelity, drug/alcohol addictions, severe emotional/spiritual abuse, physical abuse, uncontrolled mental health disorders – please seek Godly, experienced, biblical counsel!!!