I’ve REALLY Messed Up – How Do I Make Things Right with God?


The guilt of sin can be soul-crushing and overwhelming.

Sin always gives birth to death and destruction.  Death of our relationship with God.  Death of our relationships with people.

It can cause HUGE anxiety, worry, dread and fear in our lives.  It can even make us physically sick.

What if you are stuck in sin of some kind – how can you get out of that situation and come back to Christ?

Thankfully – we serve a God who is able to forgive sin.   ALL sin.


We ALL are wretched sinners in God’s sight.

We ALL desperately need the blood of Jesus to cleanse our sin and make us right with God.

None of us has anything good in us on our own that would entitle us to deserve to be close to God or deserve heaven or deserve His praise.

THANKFULLY – we serve a God of second chances.

Sin means – “to miss the mark.”  

It is an archery term.  If I miss the mark by 100 yards – that is a “sin.”  If I miss the target by 1/2 inch – that is a “sin.”  Sin is anything that we think, say or do that falls short of God’s holy standard of perfection.  We are all born into sin.  We inherited our sinful nature from Adam and Eve.  It only takes ONE SIN in our lifetime to make us qualify as “sinners.”

Sometimes we think that some sins are not “that bad.”  But when Adam and Eve took one bite of fruit from the tree in the Garden of Eden – notice how serious the consequences were to that “little sin.”   The whole world was cursed.  Men and women were cursed throughout the rest of time. They were condemned to die physical death – them and all of their descendents after them.  They were severed from communion with God now.  Sin also separates us from God after we die.  We cannot enter heaven when we have sin in our hearts.


  • putting ANYTHING above Him in our hearts (idolatry) – ie: romance, feeling loved, being in control, SELF, your husband, making a lot of money, beauty, thinness, power, fame, etc…  Thinking, “I MUST HAVE THIS TO BE HAPPY!  I will do ANYTHING to get it!”
  • greed
  • selfishness
  • unforgiveness
  • bitterness
  • resentment
  • gossip
  • materialism
  • slander
  • hatred
  • contempt
  • rage
  • causing divisions at church, at work or in the family
  • trying to control others
  • people pleasing (idolatry of other’s approval instead of God’s approval)
  • wanting to hurt someone else physically/emotionally/mentally
  • stealing
  • sex outside of marriage
  • being ungodly stewards of all the resources He has given us
  • lying
  • envying others
  • trusting something other than God –  self, money, the government, a guy, etc…
  • lusting after a person in our minds
  • not believing God and His Word
  • not obeying God about ANYTHING He commands us to do in the Bible
  • living in worry, doubt and fear instead of trusting God and living in His peace
  • not giving to those in need
  • disrespect for those in God-given authority over us
  • thinking we are so much “better than” someone else
  • thinking we know better than God and we are wiser than God
  • living for self
  • getting drunk/high
  • doing anything that does not come from faith in Christ
  • not loving people with God’s love
  • having an addiction to anything that is not Jesus
  • living foolishly in God’s eyes
  • attempting to earn God’s favor and earn heaven as if we could be “good enough” on our own
  • complaining and arguing
  • not totally submitting ourselves to Christ in everything

This is NOT an exhaustive list – but I think it will give you the general idea.

If you have been sinning  –

  • it is time to see your sin the way God sees it.
  • It is time to turn away from everything that offends our holy God.
  • It is time to turn to Christ and find healing, hope, restoration and abundant life.

It’s not too late for you!  There is EVERY reason to hope in Christ Jesus and in what HE has done on your behalf.

If you don’t have a relationship with Christ – please check out this post about how to begin a relationship with Him.

If you DO have a relationship with Him – and have given Him your life, trusting Him to be your Savior and Lord – but have been living in ways that displease God… let’s talk about how to make things right.


This is the most important thing!  How does God say we can be made right with Him?

  • The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 3:23
  • If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  I John 1:8-9
  • My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin.  But if anybody does sin, we have One who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.  He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.  I John 2:1-2
  • We know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands.  The man who says, “I know Him,” but does not do what He commands is a liar and the truth is not in him.  But if anyone obeys God’s Word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.  This is how we know we are in Him:  Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.  I John 2:4-5
  • No one who lives in Him keeps on sinning.  No one who continues to sin has either seen Him or known Him… No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.  This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.  I John 3:6, 9-10
  • And this is His command: to believe in the Name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as He commanded us.  Those who obey His commands live in Him, and He in them.  And this is how we know that He lives in us: We know it by the Spirit He gave us.  I John 3:23-24
  • The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.   Galatians 5:22-24
  • I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds.  Acts 26:20
  • The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  Whoever serves Me must follow Me; and where I am, My servant also will be.  My Father will honor the one who serves me.  John 12:25-26
  • If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come and make our home with him.  He who does not love Me will not obey My teaching.  John 14:23-24a

So, we must

1. See our sin clearly and see how serious, nasty and repulsive it is to God.

2. Turn from our sin and not go in that direction anymore = repent.  Make a 180 degree turn away from sin.

3. Turn to Christ and ask Him to be our LORD – not just our Savior.  Yes, His blood saves us from the penalty of hell when we trust His death on our behalf to satisfy God’s wrath against our sin.   God replaced the massive sin debt in our account with the limitless righteousness/holiness of Jesus when we trust Him as Savior.

But He cannot only be our Savior – we must also submit ourselves FULLY to Him as LORD of ALL in our lives.  He gave ALL He had and ALL He was for us.  Now we give ALL to Him. We give Him full control and reign.  We seek His will not our own.  We die to our old sinful self and put on a new self in Christ.  The purpose of our life from this moment on is only to bring glory and honor to Jesus and to love and bless others.  We allow God to completely change our hearts, minds and souls by His power to make us more and more like Christ.  This is the process of sanctification – the life long process of bending our will and our lives to God’s will so that He can make us like Jesus by His power.  We have to have His Spirit do this work in us.  We cooperate with Him – but it is HIS power, not ours, that enables us to walk in obedience to Him.


If you know that you have committed sin against God…

1. Acknowledge the seriousness of your sin and the cost of your sin in God’s sight.

2. Agree with God that you sinned and were wrong and turn away from that sin.  Don’t live in it anymore.  Ask Him to give you the power to live for Him.  He can do this!  We cannot!

3. Seek God and desire to please and obey Him above all else.

If you have been covering up sin in your life – this will mean that you will have to say something to your husband like:

“I realize that I have sinned against God and against you (specifically name whatever sin you have committed).  I was VERY WRONG.  I want to please God more than anything else in my life.  I can’t live like this anymore.    I repent to God and I repent to you.  I know I don’t deserve forgiveness.  I want so much to become the woman and wife God desires me to be.”

If you have had an affair – whether emotional or physical, it will be necessary to break all contact with this man.  Even if it means quitting your job or changing churches.

If you have an addiction to porn, drugs, gambling or alcohol – please seek godly help.


  • Take some time alone and really seek God with all your heart without any distractions.
  • Find a godly, wise mentoring older woman who can pray with you and counsel you and hopefully a godly Christian female counselor.
  • Spend SERIOUS time in God’s Word daily – seeking Him with all your heart and confessing every sin, allowing Him to change you to be the woman He wants you to be.  Pray fervently that God will change YOU and that He might glorify Himself in your life.
  • Find your contentment in Christ alone.
  • Make no provision for the flesh. Don’t put yourself in a super tempting situation.
  • Consider making new boundaries to protect your marriage  – if you have sinned in some way against your husband – maybe no meeting alone with men, no private messaging/talking/emailing.  Have an accountability partner.  Be totally transparent with your husband.  Allow him full access to all of your accounts any time.  Be trustworthy and faithful from this point on.  Have grace for him as he deals with the pain your sin has caused.  Pray for God to heal and restore your marriage and for His greatest glory in your life.

YES, this will be PAINFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, you will not want to do these things at first. 

But it is necessary in order to get things right with God.  Your being right with Him HAS to be your greatest priority if he is your Lord.  Be willing to obey  Him no matter what He asks of you.  Be willing to give up anything that God hates.  Be willing to hold everything else very loosely in your hands in order to be available completely and wholly devoted to Christ.  Hold nothing back from Him.  Allow Him FULL access to your life, heart, mind and soul.

There is no guarantee your husband or others will forgive you or that he will stay if you have been unfaithful or if there are addictions or major sins in your past.  Let’s pray for God’s will and for His Spirit to work in your husband’s heart as you focus on your own relationship with God.

This is the path to God’s peace and joy.  And it is the path to the abundant spiritual life God promises to those who follow Him.