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An Incredible Story of Forgiveness

Dirt Road with Maple Trees in Winter Sunrise

From a wife:

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I feel led to share my story of forgiveness with you so that maybe you will have hope that God truly can move a hurting heart to forgive….so here it is…

My father died when I was 6 years old in a car accident. My mother began a relationship shortly after he died with a man who ended up being addicted to drugs and eventually left with all of the settlement money from my dad’s death.

The second man my mother met was physically abusive to her after a year into the relationship. She loved him so she stayed and when I was 11 years old he began to sexually abuse me. I told my mother what was happening but instead of stopping it or asking him to leave she began to beat me regularly and force me to go off alone with him. The abuse went on for about 2 years in which time he also began to physically abuse all of us, not just my mother. My mother continued to stay with him and allow him to hurt me, my older brother and my little sister. It all came to a head when I was 13 and one of the beatings he gave my mother broke her neck within a hairline of her being paralyzed for life.

While she was in the hospital in traction someone called CPS and they came and found out about all of the abuse. They told my mother if she wanted to keep her children she would have to leave this man.

Instead she married him lying there in the hospital bed.

We were sent to live with our grandparents and life went on from there.

I tell you all of this because for years I carried hate in my heart for my mother. I could never understand why she allowed us to hurt so much. I couldn’t speak to her and I couldn’t see her without all of the pain from my childhood coming up.

Then, 6 years ago Jesus came into my heart.

One night not long after I was saved, I begged God to remove the bitterness and the pain of those years.  I asked Him to let me see my mother as He sees her and to allow me to love her.

I am so excited to tell you that today my mother is one of my best friends.

I see a broken woman who lost her husband and the father of her children too early. I see bad decisions and guilt that she has to live with every day of her life. I truly love her and I am enjoying the healed relationship so much. Only Jesus could have made this possible. Only He could take a kid who should have been emotionally broken for the rest of her life and make her into someone who seeks to heal hurting families.

I don’t know what hurt you have or what your person did to you but I can promise you that God is so good at forgiveness that He makes it easy for us.  All we have to do is ask. I am praying that your story turns out as successful as mine.

– KB

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

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14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  – Matthew 6 

Forgiveness sets US free and empowers us to experience the abundant life God has for us.  Forgiveness is not easy.  It is something we must have God’s Spirit to help us to do many times.  And sometimes it is a process of continually making the choice to forgive whenever the offense comes to mind.  Unforgiveness is a major sin in Jesus’ sight – and He gives us NO exceptions to the command for us to forgive.  That doesn’t mean we have to trust someone.  But Jesus DOES call us to forgive.  No matter what the offense. My forgiveness of others is a prerequisite to God forgiving me. 

I actually felt entitled to hold on to unforgiveness for years earlier in our marriage,  but then I realized that I cherished my bitterness more than intimacy with Christ.  And, really, I was putting myself ABOVE God as if I had the right not to forgive something that God chose to forgive.  I had to choose Jesus or bitterness.  I could not have both.  Bitterness had become an idol for me.  The problem is, it is a toxic poison – it grows and spreads and eventually destroys the one who clings to it and serves it.

Forgiveness is the wisdom and power of God.

MATTHEW 18

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold (millions of dollars) was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins (a much smaller sum than what this servant had been forgiven). He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

 

RELATED:

A  Story of Forgiveness (a woman forgives a very controlling mother)

God’s Perspective on Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Exploring the Depths of Bitterness

Bitterness is Contagious and Toxic

Finding God’s Victory Over Bitterness

Matthew 18

17 thoughts on “An Incredible Story of Forgiveness

  1. That is an incredible story I would be mad too if this happened to me as a child! I do not understand how women do this because this has never happened to me All I understand is that I have a daughter who falsely accused my husband for things he did not do so I will have to forgive her and she will have to face the Lord for what she has done I will also have to forgive the public who still believe wrongful convictions – allegations are only 2% – they are more like 71% We have been lied to, to create stories becasue the public foolishly believe that women do not lie , foolishly believe that all men in jail are actually guilty and are in denial that women also abuse men

    On Mon, Sep 30, 2013 at 5:00 AM, Peacefulwife’s Blog wrote:

    > ** > peacefulwife posted: ” From a wife: > ———————————— I feel led to share my story of > forgiveness with you so that maybe you will have hope that God truly can > move a hurting heart to forgive….so here it is… My father died when I > was 6 years o”

  2. I think it is wonderful that this daughter has forgiven her Mother. My story is entirely different but her story helps me to know I too can forgive. I can forgive my daughter for falsely accusing my husband for crimes he never committed , sabbotoging her own family and putting an innocent man at risk of death in prison, putting us all at risk, taking my husband away, her own siblings Father. Lord help me also to forgive. I pray I can forgive all those people who still believe false allegations are rare and forgive all the women who falsey accuse men , that one say the Lord will open their eyes and that of the public and the Christians. For today, I thank God that. Forgiveness is a good thing. Jesus did say that when we can forgive, he will too but it is ONLY the LORDS forgivenss that will free the other person completely. With that said, that person must ask for it – if they do not, forgieness can not even be extended. We do this for ourselves becasue the Lrod loves us. I hope one day, my daughter will ask me for forgiveness for wanting my husband dead and arranging to have this done – she has almost suceeded. He will be sentanced soon for crimes he never committed and it was my daughter who caused this – plotted it and carried it thru using many individuals to make it happen adn many gladly went along with the witch hunt so all I can do is protect my other children , pray to the Lord and try to enjoy the last 2 days with my husband who I may never see again. As women, if we do not forgive, we become hateful. This is what happened to my daughter – essentially. Lliars, false accusers are like Murderers to GOD – It is a serious crime but they get away with it , BECASUE they are women. Men would never get away with the crime my daughter committed . – I am workign on forgiving her so I can move on

    1. Miryam,

      I am so sorry for the pain your family is experiencing. 🙁

      I am so glad that this story inspires you.

      I would also note in Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 6 that Jesus commands us to forgive so that God will forgive us. There is no qualification that the person must ask for forgiveness. He forgave those who crucified Him. They certainly didn’t ask Him for forgiveness while Jesus was on the cross.

      Only God’s forgiveness frees a person from eternal consequences of sin.

      But our forgiving others, in the power of God, releases US to be able to receive God’s forgiveness.

      God has forgiven each of us of MUCH more sin than any human could owe us.

      What a blessing that we can find total forgiveness at the cross.

      Thank you for sharing your story!

      1. Corrected typos!

        Jesus says things like this in the other Gospels but if you look at the synoptic probelm you will see that the first 3 Gospels copied each other. Matthew was the Church edition which is a compilation of all Gospels for the public , colored by the later view of the Church and arguments over the authority of the Church in relation to things like the power to forgive. Jesus did forgive some of these people but he did not extend it to others. Minimal conditions and sufficient conditions are different and extending forgiveness does not equal Gods choice to forgive or consequence (I loved Jacob but hated Esau) This is the hard part Christians don’t get because they don’t go to the original language. Yes, we forgive but there are conditions. Forgiving others is no guarantee they will be free or that GOD has forgiven. It is a good rule of thumb but the doctrine is not proven by one proof text. Gods truth does not work that way

      2. Thankfully we are not God. Our forgiveness does not mean that God forgives the person – it means we are walking in obedience to Him.

        I see nowhere in the New Testament where God permits us as Christians to hate others or harbor bitterness and unforgiveness.

        I John says that if we claim we love God, but hate our brother, we are liars. And that if anyone loves God, he must love his brother.

        We are commanded in the 2 greatest commandments to love God and love people. God’s definition of love is in I Corinthians 13:4-8. Part of that verse says that “love keeps no record of wrongs suffered”

        Jesus talks about loving our enemies and doing good to those who mistreat us, blessing those who curse us.

        Also, in our anger we are not to sin = James. If we allow our anger to stay – we are giving the enemy a foothold.

        And in James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

        I believe there are plenty of “proof texts” that we are to love not hate others as disciples of Christ. But even if God’s Word only says something once – His Word is truth and I can accept it.

        Thanks for sharing!

  3. Wonderful reminder that only through Jesus Christ can we rest in peace and be able to forgive without conditions!

  4. I had a similar story as you know April. Our relationship(my mother and I) are no where near best friends but i have forgiven her. She doesn’t want to talk about that “Bible stuff”as she puts it. We may never have a happy ending like this woman and her mom had but I no longer hold any bitterness toward her. thank you april for this postvand i thank God for the woman who shared this. April there are not many older woman who are teaching us young ones( im in my twenties) but i thank God that you are here and I’m not alone on this Journey. I have a question though are you catholic? What teachings do you follow if you don’t mind me asking?

    1. Submissive,

      I am so glad to hear that you have forgiven your mom. Holding on to all of that unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment would poison your soul. I know there are very, very few women who are teaching the younger women to be godly wives today. How I pray God will raise up many more women around the world – one in each church, at least, is my prayer!

      I go to a Baptist church. But, I am not hung up on denominations. Jesus is my Lord. The Bible is His truth. I claim Him. 🙂

      Much love!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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