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Are Women Morally and Spiritually Superior to Men?

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In our culture today – we almost universally accept that the answer to this question is a very obvious “Yes!  Of course women are morally and spiritually superior to men.  That is just plain fact.”

THE EVIDENCE IN FAVOR:

  • boys get in trouble a whole lot more in school than girls do
  • girls have higher grades in school than boys on average
  • there are MANY more men in prison than women
  • men commit the vast majority of violent crimes
  • there are many more women in church than men in many places, and more women are willing to take on leadership/volunteer/teaching roles in church than men today
  • dads are by far, are the ones who are  the “deadbeats” in the court systems
  • the majority of people with porn addictions are men – (although the women are gaining fast on this one)

And, of course, women are portrayed in the media as being much more competent and intelligent than men are today.

FEMINISM

I read the book, Radical Womanhood, by Carolyn McCulley.  She was an adamant feminist who studied women’s studies in college and later came to Christ.  I believe this book is a MUST READ for Christian women today.  She traces the history of the feminist movement from it’s earliest beginnings in the 1700s through the 1st, 2nd and 3rd wave (which is present day).  She also gives some of the biographical information and the personal theology of the leading women of the feminist movement as well as background on their own marriages/relationships.

Feminism looked at the world and saw the atrocities that some men were committing against women and identified that:

Men are the problem.  Men are evil.

Women are good.  Women being in charge is the answer to the world’s problems.

Among other things, the first and second waves of feminism taught that:

  • God is whoever you want “her” to be.
  • The God of the Bible was made up by “evil men”.
  • You are a goddess.
  • The Bible has no authority because it was “written by men” and “men are evil.”
  • The authorities God has established in His Word have no authority.
  • We can decide for ourselves what is right or wrong.  Existentialism – “Truth that is true for me”
  • We can redefine masculinity, femininity, marriage and family however we would like to.
  • Men and women are the same emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
  • Marriage oppresses women.
  • Motherhood oppresses women.  Children are a burden
  • Men oppress women.
  • The Bible oppresses women.
  • Church oppresses women.
  • Women need to have a career to be truly fulfilled as a person.
  • Marriage is “just a piece of paper.”

Feminism – at its core, was born as a heresy of scripture and blasphemy of God.  Feminism has done some things that have benefited the condition and treatment of women, to be sure.  But it is time for us to carefully examine the origins, tenets and goals of this philosophy that we have unquestioningly embraced in the church today.

THE TRUTH OF GOD’S WORD

The Bible is the only source of unchanging truth.  It is time to examine the beliefs of our ungodly, worldly culture against the absolute truth of the Word of God.  It is time to trash any ungodly ideas from our culture and embrace only God’s truth.

Feminism says, “Men are evil.”  We certainly see empirical evidence for that statement.

But is it the whole truth?

God created men and women to be image bearers of God.  We were created in a state of perfection in Genesis 2.  We are of equal value and dignity before God (Galatians 3:28)

But then sin (evil) entered the picture.

According to the One, holy and perfect God of the universe:

There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.

All have turned away, they have together become worthless;

there is no one who does good. not even one

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3: 10-12, 23

We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.  Isaiah 64:6 (literally, “filthy, bloody menstrual rags”)

According to God, from His righteous and just perspective – ALL people are wretched sinners in desperate need of the blood of Jesus to cover our sin.  I cannot find a verse in scripture that elevates women as spiritually or morally superior to men in God’s eyes.  Jesus repeatedly calls all people “evil” throughout the gospels.  We have a very sinful nature, inherited from Adam and Eve.  We are slaves to sin, according to Romans 6:16.   We are on equally spiritually evil ground as men and women in the sight of God.  We are incapable of doing anything good in God’s sight on our own, because – apart from Christ – we are spiritually dead.

The truth is that there are plenty of negative statistics about women and how we sin and fall short of God’s glory, too – if we are willing to look at ourselves.

Jesus answered. “No one is good–except God alone.Luke 18:19b

Arguing about whether men or women are spiritually/morally superior to each other – is kind of like arguing about which corpse in the funeral home “looks more alive.”  What does it matter??? They are all dead.

FROM CAROLYN MCCULLEY in RADICAL WOMANHOOD:

Women do have a problem. But it’s not men.  It’s sin.  Sin warps everything, including the good that God has designed in being a man or a woman.  Women sin against men and men sin against women, and everyone sins against God and falls short of His standard of holiness and perfection.  Sin is the reason men have oppressed women and women have usurped men.  Sin is the reason for the jealousy, selfish ambition, disorder, and every vile practice that characterizes false wisdom.  Sin is the reason we need a Savior….

The glorious hope we have is that Christ came to rescue us from this spiral of sin and sinful response.  Only the gospel can accurately diagnose the issues on both sides and offer both the good news of forgiveness for our sins and the restoration of our relationship first with God and then with each other.

This is true liberation for women… and men.

THE NEXT POST (6-12-13):

I will show you how God blew the lid off of my idea that I was a good person when He opened my eyes to my MOUNTAIN of sin.  I didn’t just have a speck or a 2 by 4 of sin in my eye.  I had a MOUNTAIN with an entire forest.  I am truly – the chief of sinners.  There is no sinner who is farther away from God than I was.  There is no one who needed Christ more desperately than me.

How to Have a Relationship with Christ and find Forgiveness, Healing, Hope and Heaven

SERMONS ON THIS TOPIC AND SALVATION AND MANY MORE:

www.desiringgod.org  John Piper

www.radical.net  David Platt

73 thoughts on “Are Women Morally and Spiritually Superior to Men?

  1. I am reading “Radical Womanhood” right now! What a book! I just finished “Femine Appeal” by Carolyn Mahaney, another fantastic must read that I have heard you mention before. Thank you for what you do!

    1. Shauna,
      You are very welcome. 🙂

      I just cried and cried when I read the history of feminism in the beginning part of “Radical Womanhood.” I had no idea that feminism was such a targeted attack against God, masculinity, femininity, family, children, marriage, the church and God’s Word before I read that book.

      It completely broke my heart.

      I told God that I knew that Satan used a handful of women to destroy so much that was sacred, and I told Him I am available if He is willing to use me to tear down the lies and rebuild on His Word of truth. I pray He might use me and other women who belong to Him to rebuild Christian womanhood, godly femininity, godly marriage, real faith in Christ, and that He might raise up godly men to teach the men about biblical manhood, godly masculinity, godly marriage and living in total surrender to Christ – that He might be greatly glorified.

      I pray that we might pick up the “ball” that was dropped over the past few generations, and that we might leave a godly legacy and God’s blessings to our children instead of making them pay the price for our disobedience the way the past few generations have done. I pray that our children might see in us what God intended marriage and faith in Him to be.

  2. The really interesting part of all this is that we (as humans) make a common mistake over and over. We assume that we can fix things that are broken. i.e. Men are oppressing/abusing women, so we pass a law to fix that. The problem is, in our sinful human condition we are unable to fix things such as this. All we do is make them worse and worse. Our fixes might make one thing a little better, but make five other things bad/worse.

    I’m sorry to say ladies – but my observation in life is that women tend this way a little more than men. As a group women want things to “be right” or “fair” so badly that they immediately go in search of a solution to every problem. Remember, the serpent appealed to the WOMAN FIRST by telling her basically it wasn’t fair she didn’t know all – and God was withholding something she had a right to…

    Genesis 3:4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

    So why would it be bad for us to “know”. Why? Because God said so and only HE had the authority to change that! Doing what we thought was our right got us thrown out of the garden and separated from God. But we keep repeating that mistake. We must always be mindful to operate within God’s authority structure. Stepping outside of it (even to try and fix horrible evil) reaps disaster on us and everyone around us!

    Oh – some monster of a man just shot up a school killing a bunch of innocent children – we need a new law. Never mind that he just violated 35 existing laws – and one more will do nothing to prevent future problems and/or bring the dead back to life. We must realize that we live in a world awash with evil. Evil that has it’s roots in the fall of ALL OF MANKIND in that perfect garden so long ago. Evil that is only going to keep getting worse till the second coming of Christ. The way this culture is circling the drain should be a glimmer of hope for believers. It means that his return is drawing nearer!

    But what everyone – and especially women must be watchful of is that we don’t allow our need for “solutions” to spill into the asserting of authority in areas that God has not given you authority over. As a man, I do not have the authority to walk into my church and demand that they spend money on something I think is a good and noble idea. God has placed an authority structure in place (pastors/elders/deacons/etc). I can respectfully request and present my case.. but in the end, God expects me to honor their decision – even if I disagree.

    In the same way, we must not let our desire to stamp out the evil we are forced to live alongside in this life to motivate us to force solutions we think are a good idea onto people God has not given us authority over. If you go back and read some of the early writings of some wise men who were in opposition to the 19th amendment (women’s suffrage) their concern was not that women were too stupid to have valuable opinions (that’s another feminist lie). Their concern was women’s tendency to assert authority in areas where God did not give them. A wise man always consults his wife before making a decision that impacts his family – even in voting. I learned that years ago – not because I’m afraid she will punish me. But because God can, and often does speak wisdom though women to men. A foolish man disregards this at his own peril. God grants us a wisdom of discernment to know when he is speaking through our wife – and when she is just speaking on her own.

    However ladies, when you vote to put in that new park so your kids have a safe place to play – you are forcing me – as a man to take from my family some of the resources that God imparted to me – and spend them (via my property taxes) for that park. God has given me authority over the resources he blesses my family with. I can (and often do) choose to spend them on things in my community and mostly through my church. But that’s my free will being exercised after prayerful consideration and giving due deference to my family’s needs first. If you vote that park in, I’m forced at the point of a gun to pay for that park even if my family will suffer. (If I don’t pay my property taxes the county will foreclose on my house, and send the sheriff to throw me out). So voting in a free democratic society is a powerful thing and must be exercised with great care! You often are exercising authority over things you do not have God given right to do so.

    We often think that our intended purpose is noble and pure, that it justifies the end. But in the same way, I don’t have the authority to force my church to spend money on things, other people have not the authority to force their fellow citizens to pay for things. To quote economics Professor Walter E. Williams….

    “Three-fifths to two-thirds of the federal budget consists of taking property from one American and giving it to another. Were a private person to do the same thing, we’d call it theft. When government does it, we euphemistically call it income redistribution, but that’s exactly what thieves do — redistribute income. Income redistribution not only betrays the founders’ vision, it’s a sin in the eyes of God.”

    So we’ve decided that to combat the never ending scourge of sins committed by men over the centuries, (sexual sin, deadbeat dads, family abandonment, etc) that we will make all of society pay to support women in need. This used to be the exclusive domain of the church (assisting those in need).. but today the state does it. Solving a real problem by exercising authority over people God has not given us the right to – helped in a few areas and created a torrent of new problems that face us today. I won’t go into all the problem the welfare state has caused.. but it’s a classic case of the solution causing more problems than it solved.

    So be careful with the thinking that you are Morally and Spiritually Superior to Men. Even if that’s true in your case, God will provide ways for that wisdom to benefit his kingdom. Keep checking your heart and make sure your motives are pure and free of evil thoughts (stupid men only knew how smart I was they would implement my ideas).

    1. BenAustrial,

      Amen!!!! “We assume we can fix things that are broken.” – YES! We think that we as humans in our own power and wisdom can fix the problems of our society with laws. But you are so right… we can’t!

      The problems of our culture are a direct result of sin – the economic problems, the morality issues, the STDs, the broken families, the abuse of husbands and wives, the abuse of children, the lack of care for the poor…

      No president or government can fix these things.

      How I pray that God’s people will humble themselves and pray, turn from our wicked ways and seek God’s face – then He will hear from heaven and will heal our land.

      I believe that we have ignored God’s structure of authority so grievously in the church, in the family, in marriage – and I believe that is a huge part of our sin problems.

      For the first 14.5 years of our marriage, I disrespected God and I disrespected my husband’s authority and didn’t even realize it. Disrespect for authority is “normal” now, so we don’t even see what we are doing. God did not answer my prayers all those years – even though I was praying for things that were “His will” – for my husband to pray with me, for him to be a stronger leader, for him to be more godly. But my heart was full of PRIDE, self-righteousness, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness and a sense that I was “the more mature” one, so I looked down on my husband with contempt. How GREAT my sin was! And I was totally blind to it.

      What God says about authority is VITALLY important. When I began to cover my head when I pray to show respect to God and to my husband’s authority over me – it was a very tangible reminder to me to approach God humbly and to go through the authority of my husband over me, not to try to skirt around him to get to God and demand what I wanted in my timing and my way.

      Honoring God-given authority is a HUGE issue. I feel certain that we could not have begun to imagine all of the consequences of breaching God’s design for authority in different arenas of our lives.

      Thank you for your comments.

      1. What is so amazing to me about you April is how you “get it” now. The problems in “godly marriages” are rooted in the problems of what I’ve heard called “false conversions” in the church. Just say this prayer and your through the doorway of grace. I heard a pastor once say “there is no grace, no mercy, no forgiveness without grievance of heart. Until your heart aches for the sin each and every one of us commits, then the grace found in his blood does not apply. Only through our heart aching for the hurt/damage/etc we’ve done to God, then confessing those sins we then come to grace in that blood – the blood of Jesus Christ. When we make ourselves righteous in any way – we bypass that grace by saying “that’s not a big deal”.

        In our churches today, pastors are afraid to teach about hell (or any other controversial subjects). It’s often labeled “brimstone and fire” preaching. But once again, use Christ as an example. Jesus spoke often of hell because he wanted his followers to know it’s a real place – a horrible place you want to avoid at any cost! Our human minds can’t even imagine how truly awful it is.

        But without the cross – we are all condemned to live out eternity there. That is what makes grace so AMAZING and brings John 3:16 into play. He did love us – and so much so he didn’t send 2nd best – but the best that he had – his own son to be tortured, lied about and finally put to a brutal, bloody death while remaining 100% without sin.

        April when I read your postings, I see the true grievance in your heart for your past actions in your marriage. It’s an inspiration to me. It makes me want to look closer in myself for things where I might be doing similar things and then justifying it in my own mind. Truly we all need to pray that the Spirit of God would shine a bright light on any such areas in each and every one of our lives so we may grieve in our hearts, confess them before God and find REAL forgiveness as your certainly have. It’s once we find real forgiveness that we then find real peace in our lives. A peace that passes ALL understanding.

        1. BenAustrial,

          I accepted Christ when I was 5. I was very sincere – and I truly believe I loved God and trusted Christ as I grew up. But I had these HUGE blind spots – areas that I was not even aware of that I was not submitting to Christ. I believed in my head and my heart that Jesus was my Lord – but then I lived as if I was Lord and as if I was sovereign – and didn’t even know it. There was a disconnect that I just could not see.

          How I wish my husband had lovingly confronted me sometime in those 14.5 years. Maybe I would have had to come face to face with my sin earlier? He never once told me I was disrespectful. He never once confronted my idolatry, my pride, my self-righteousness, my disobedience to God’s Word.

          I read God’s Word every day. I read the passage in Ephesians 5:22-33, and I thought I was submitting to my husband and that I was respecting him. I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I had no idea what respect actually meant or what disrespect was. I figured that since I didn’t throw things, get violent, threaten divorce, call my husband names, assassinate his character or scream at him that I was respectful. I was way more respectful than the wives on tv or many of my friends and coworkers. I had no idea that my constant telling him what to do, trying to convince him my way was best, thinking that I was always right and he was always wrong, etc… was disrespectful. NO IDEA. My husband usually let me make decisions, so I thought he agreed with me. He never told me I hurt him, so I thought he had no feelings and that it was impossible for his feelings to be hurt. I thought he didn’t love me. I didn’t know that I had hurt him and that was why he withdrew. He only stood against me a handful of times. I eventually did cave to his decision – but only after a lot of arguing, filibustering, anger, resentment and bad attitude on my end. Now I see why he decided what he did and I am SO THANKFUL he didn’t do what I wanted to do those times. My way would have been a disaster.

          I definitely agree that there are many false conversions. That is a very serious problem – it is terrifying to me, really, to think that there could be people who think they are believers but actually are not. And then there are also people who accept Jesus as Savior and Lord but sin goes unchecked for so long- we grieve God’s Spirit and don’t experience His power the way we should. So we live in carnal ways with the sinful nature in control. I knew I was anxious, stressed, afraid, worried and very lonely. I knew that was not what God wanted for me. But I thought my husband needed to change. How I wish someone had confronted me in my sin 19 years ago.

          BUT – God is SO gracious! His timing is perfect. I thank Him every day for opening my eyes when He did and now He is somehow using all those years of awful sin, disrespect, rebellion against God’s Word, idolatry, selfishness, control, etc… for His glory. It blows my mind every single day.

          Our pastor talked about the Be-attitudes last year. He said being “poor in spirit” meant that we see the depths of our own spiritual poverty. After I have worked with hundreds of wives in the past year and a half or so, I can usually tell now when God is about to work in a wife’s life when there is that total brokenness, the mourning over sin, the humility before God, the understanding of exactly how wretched one is before our holy Lord. Until that broken posture comes – there will be no regeneration by the Holy Spirit.

          It is amazing, when we confess our sins and agree with God about our sins, He truly washes them away and then fills us with His Spirit. I didn’t expect that when I submitted to Christ as Lord in all of these areas that I would benefit. I just wanted to obey God and to be a godly wife. But a few weeks into it, I was SO SHOCKED when I realized that I had peace. Real peace. For the first time in my life. ANd then came great joy. It was INCREDIBLE! I just couldn’t possibly keep these treasures to myself!

          Thank you for your encouragement and support. Please pray that God alone might be greatly exalted in my life and in everything I think, do and say.

    2. BenAustrial,

      you have made some very poignant observations and exhortations.

      I can attest, being a native Southern Californian and having moved here in January to the Bay Area/Silicon Valley after six years in Tulsa, the laws, ESPECIALLY ENVIRONMENTAL, are a direct reflection of women who see the Earth in their image and have all sorts of twisted ideas about the societal heirarchy of needs.

      About two months ago I watched some documentaries, one called Before Stonewall, and one called After Stonewall and some other doc; there was a lady on one of those that said that anyone who was there in the 70’s and is honest knows that all the founders of the feminist movement were lesbians. I know that among the various student groups organized to protest civil rights this and that and the Vietnam war and the non-black participants and sympathizers to the Black Panther party’s platform and cause, there were some hetero women who began to notice a pattern of the males taking charge and making all the decisions while they made coffee and posters. These women resented their supportive role and no doubt exaggerated their sense of disenfranchisement and soome of them became lesbians and adopted defiant, militant postures and platforms. For the first time in American history it became fashionable and laudable for women to make an effort to look like men! So I know some of it came out of the women whose patience had run out because they didn’t feel important enough or important and significant in the same sense as they ASSUMED the men felt. What I imagine at least one man told them back then, as I’ve seen a few pastors tell women today (and I’m glad) something like, “Why would you want a career or position that drains your very soul? A platform that opens you to ridicule and death threats? Why would you want to be so stressed out half the time and can’t think straight or have stress cut your life short!? This is nothing to covet! There’s nothing glamorous about everybody wanting a piece of you and not knowing who among your inner circle is your next Judas! “

      1. It seems that Luciferian intelligence informed that if Adam was going to transgress the command, he would do it willfully and with full cognizance of the implications; amazing that, thus informed, the serpent took the better gamble and went for the woman, who probably would not have willfully transgressed either, BUT had the distinct and unique feature of a gullible curiosity, which he could use as an in. The serpent came to the conclusion that he’d likely have a more successful outcome with the woman because of the authority filter in the male’s psyche–“Hey serpent, whatcha doin speaking with a human voice, bud?” or “Dude, you just contradicted God!” I think it’s kind of the same thing that makes men to this day reluctant to say another man is wrong or to hold another man publicly accountable to the full commensurate extent of his wrong and damaging actions, it’s about position and according a certain level of dignity to an image bearer of God (maybe not all men are conscious of that being the ultimate reason but I think it’s where they get it from). When I was in the military and I had the security watch or I was the Master-at-Arms on duty, if an officer transgressed some kind of way to the point being brought up on charges, when I go to make my arrest the protocol is to salute the officer first and inform him “Sir, you are under arrest…” and all those are were squared away know that you don’t just wave your hand any kind of way either; when saluting you’re supposed to come to attention first, so there’s a whole posture and to it.

        I have mentioned to my cousin throughout the years that females, particularly 20’s and under have a curiosoty that snares them while males I’ve seen are more likely to “leave that alone” and move past something that doesn’t appear to concern them or what they’re trying to accomplish. The girls want that excitement you know, and then act all brand new when the guy in the frat house misapplies his strength–no matter that she had already seen the selfsame scenario play out with other girls. So we women can be unwittingly gullible or we can be voluntarily gullible or do this little trick in our minds as though a certain male we’re dealing with is ultimately after what he’s after or will change whatever behavior (even abusive) if I just go to work on him or jums through those two or three hoops I didn’t see before.

        This nation is definitely rotting morally speaking, which is why, among other reasons, I would not join the military again today; years before this coercive campaign to endorse homosexuality within the services, before they started saying things like silence on the issue will be interpreted as disapproval, I often said “Hmm, I got out just at the right time”.

        I’ve also often thought that the feminists seem like they are their own men and the gays are their children to protect. It’s crazy because while the homosexuality endorsement and normalization movement could not have made it to where it is today without the nurturance of the feminists and their movement, it sometimes is not clear which group has more political power.

        Yeah I don’t know much about their tenets, their manifesto (I’m assumin lg they have one) or their leaders, but I saw a couple of documentaries with little mentions here and I was thinking “What kind of mess is that!?”

  3. April, I wish every Christian wife could/would read this post. The attitude that women are spiritually, morally, and temperamentally superior to men — including, if not especially their husbands — is so endemic that it’s as if it’s part of the air we breathe. Few even recognize that this is the assumption they’re living under.

    But this is one of the ways we demonstrate that we are all sinners — we find ways to categorize sins or sinners so that others are “worse” than we are. I had a conversation with my ex-father-in-law one time in which he flat out said that I wasn’t saved because a Christian man would not have had a long-term struggle with pornography. I asked him if it wasn’t true that all Christians struggle with sins like pride, etc. His response was to dismiss those as “everyday” or “run of the mill” sins, not “big” sins. I couldn’t believe he could say that with a straight face, but he did, and many others do too. Somehow, it has become common for Christian wives to think the same way about their own “besetting sins” compared to their husbands’. They’re either unaware that they even have their own sins or they’re confident that their sins aren’t as “big” as their husbands’ sins.

    Short version of this comment: you nailed it.

    1. David,
      I do, too.
      I wish I could have read this post many years ago. I know I have told you before – but I NEVER considered myself a feminist. I would have recoiled at being labeled as such. So I was completely shocked when God showed me how much feminism had distorted my thinking and understanding about God, about myself, about femininity, masculinity, marriage, family, church… so many crucial issues.

      That is why I asked God to help me dig up and get rid of ALL of the lies I had believed and dig down until all I had left was Christ. I felt like God and I were “reinventing the wheel” – it was such difficult work trying to sort through my basic core beliefs about so many issues and to tear out the ungodly ones and learn to replace them with God’s truth.

      How I pray that God might use me to connect the dots closer for the women who come behind me.

      It is SO easy to justify our own sin and condemn others’ sin as much worse than ours.

      God HATES sin. He hates pride – that was Satan’s sin. Exalting himself above God. That is exactly what I did in my own heart and mind, too. But the scary thing is that I didn’t even know I was doing it. I was convinced the whole time that I was a wonderful Christian woman.

      More on my MASSIVE sin in Wednesday’s post. I hope to shine a spotlight on what we usually think of are “small sins” – but to expose them for the heinous, filthy, awful, nasty big sins they are in the sight of God.

      1. I think even with something like what Joseph was talking about with the uptrend in women and porn, that is STILL us behaving according to the way God made us (1 Corthians 11: 3, 8-9) we are still following the male example; but what’s sick about it is we are doing it with a competitive motive, thinking we are going to punish the man for this, that, and the other thing. I used to think most of the women found themselves into porn because they were just trying to not lose their man’s interest, now I’ve noticed that there is more of an attitude not just of weariness or exasperation with men and their desires for natural affection, but a contempt and scorn toward men who want to be sexual with their wives. It is this sick thing where somehow the male sexual inclination toward female is less enlightened or something. Joseph mentioned a book called 50 Shades of Gray; I haven’t read it and never heard of it until about a year ago when my younger sister in Marietta sent me a text asking me if I’d heard of it. Christina didn’t say anything else after I said I hadn’t heard of it, but if you know anything about Atlanta Metro, there has been an absolute EXPLOSION of homosexuality out there over the past 7 years and I think there are more lesbians than gay men; I just hope Christina wasn’t trying to find the courage to tell me something (she has two young sons).

        Last I heard she’s attending a church pastored by this Bishop who mostly seemed like he had some sense, but then I started thinking how being in church doesn’t make one “safe” and may even be a risk factor. I have been studying the history of the “gay rights” movement and the San Francisco bay area in general for a few months now, and one of the things I began to notice is the line of correlation you can draw between the great number of artistic or professionally prominent homosexual males, and the Black Pentacostal Church, the Episcopalian, Catholic and some rural Baptist Churches, so many of them grew up in a so-called “Christian Home”! I was watching Shaun T a while back talking a little about how he grew up, he mentioned being in the Pentacostal church. I was in Oakland a few weeks ago and suddenly I started thinking about Sylvester, the singer of the 1970’s disco era; I read up on him and saw that he had a lot of history in the areas I’d been around for the last several months (I paint and do graphic design, a little on the techie side also) but particularly I noticed that his funeral service was held at his church in Oakland pastored by a very prominent figure and gospel music legend in the COGIC (Holiness) denomination, which produces SO MANY musical people. I checked in on some peole from the old days and found out a couple of gospel artists I used to love have now “gone inspirational” (which might as well be going secular) in a homo-affirming way. But I guess it wasn’t too much of a stretch for one of the artists to swing that far into error, she was already a pastor, got bored with that I guess. I began to see how close I was around that scene back in the 90’s, and didn’t really realize it (which is kind of a blessing because I really was going after God). I thought back to my friend Damon who sang in the same choir as me and died of AIDS, I helped the minister of music at my church at the time care for him in her home in his last days; but somehow I didn’t see the connection and how rampant the problem has been since at least the 70’s when James Cleveland was pioneering what we know as gospel music today and the distinctives of that particular denomination of the church. Now I realize what some of the members were whispering about.

        Anyway, I just hope my sister wasn’t hinting at that, and if she was, My conscience is rested, thankfully, that I have a track record in my relationship with her that 1) there is just about nothing she could ever say to me that would truly shock me, and 2) that, while I would not be able to affirm her “identity” on the basis of those actions, I wouldn’t try to send her to a so-called conversion camp either.

        A bit of a tangent there, but I said all of that to say that women can be just as oblivious and the enemy be right in the same choir loft, so I’m not one to give too much credence to the whole “women’s intuition” thing.

        1. Marie, watching porn is not a “male thing.” There are clear and distinct differences between the type and kind of porn women seek and men seek. Women want passionate “about the woman centered on the woman all about the woman” type where as guys pretty much will watch anything except gay porn unless they are gay. I think women didn’t get into porn when it first made an appearance because it just wasn’t to their taste. If women dominating men in porn was the first to hit the market I think we would be saying porn is a female thing.

    2. As far as porn, I look at it this way: it’s not a “big sin” as much as it is a sin that is as plain and everyday as the design of the male caught up in it, one who has big lonliness or big sense of failure or big past distortions taught to him or whatever.

      I’m not saying I wouldn’t be hurt if my husband got into that stuff; but at the same time, knowing how cerebral I am, it probably wouldn’t take me long to get back to knowing better than to make it about me and the teddy variety I must have failed to don on a nightly basis. Or if I were to be so incensed over the alienation of affection that I can nolonger see his humanity; he would be a machine or something, just this big like porno compacter. If I think about it, it is even a form of stinking pride for me to think of him as though he is not individual enough to have complexities and intricacies of pathology deep within him, some of which might be seeds planted by other people like maybe uncles or his mother, and have absolutely nothing to do with me–affecting me vs about me.

      1. You do know that more and more women are watching porn now? In fact many women (even ones that profess to be straight) prefer lesbian porn. I’ve seen numbers from 33% (older studies) to newer ones that say about 60%. I don’t think porn is necessarily oriented toward the male mind. Show a little passion, romance, and “value” for the woman and they will not think twice about watching. I dated a girl (conservative Lutheran supposedly) once that watched a ridiculous amount of porn. She “discovered” that girls turned her on too. I think women are turned on by receiving attention towards their “needs.” Lesbian porn is obviously “centered on a woman” or at least appears to be. Since mainstream porn just uses women as a prop women see nothing in it for them therefore have no interest.

        Also, third wave feminism has labeled itself “sex-positive” and promotes the liberal application of female sexuality. There’s a big deal now about “feminist porn” which is porn directed by women for women. It claims to be more passionate and focuses more on the “woman’s needs.” Maybe all along women didn’t watch porn because the mainstream stuff just wasn’t their taste. The “50 Shades of Grey” and “Magic Mike” pieces are a good examples of that. Guys certainly weren’t taking to that stuff.

          1. Your assessment is quite accurate! I think part of this was that women’s pride said “oh not us we would never be so base as to dabble with porn.” As a result they let their guard down and the dark one made them fall even harder. I was reading an account from a woman who started Beggars Daughter. Apparently porn addiction affects women worse than men. Many women begin to question their sexual orientation after watching porn and they have severe trouble with intimacy. Guys certainly have trouble with intimacy after porn addiction but from what I have read it seems women are affected much more so. Most guys do not question their sexual orientation as a result of watching porn.

            I can’t help but to think of Peter saying to the Lord “not I Lord” and then he denies him thrice before the crows……pride is the most dangerous sin of all. To me, swearing on your own righteousness is inviting the devil to tempt you…..and he is quite skilled at it.

  4. Great thoughts.

    I would point out that it is easy to skew things by cherry picking facts. For example I could claim all the following facts “proves” men are superior –

    ► Women are more likely to suffer depression.
    ► Women have higher rates of alcohol abuse.
    ► Are more likely to kill their own infant child (up to two years if I recall right.)
    ► More women than men favour abortion.
    ► Women outnumber men in major cults.
    ► Men outperform women in science and math.

    No doubt many can think of reasons those things are true, and some of those reasons may be because of men or society. The same could be true for many of the “women are better facts.”

    The bottom line is God has a plan, and if we don’t live inside of that plan, we are wrong!

    1. The Marriage Bed,

      Absolutely – those were cherry picked facts – the kind that easily “prove” that men are “worse” than women.

      That is why God’s Word is so critical – not just our own feelings or our own statistics – which we can definitely skew in our favor.

      I am so thankful for God’s truth that makes things clear and shines light on our thinking and our human wisdom.

      His wisdom is infinitely higher than mine!

  5. One word= Wow!

    I feel this blog and so many others have such a true voice and need. Again, thank you and so many others for and open spirit .

  6. Hmm, so I suddenly see this topic in my e-mail (hadn’t checked this particular inbox in about two months).

    Well, thankfully, I don’t know the tenants of feminism in its purest form (as initiated in the 1970’s). I was not required to take “Women’s Studies” in my college experience and I am now completing a my third degree. To the extent I do know what it’s all about, it’s not difficult to see how demonically-inspired it is in a matter of minutes because have enough Word in me. To whatever extent I have had a negative or distrustful attitude towards men, it has been due to actual behavior on the part of actual men and on top of that the willful refusal on the part of those men to respond repentantly to the light of God’s truth revealing those behaviors and the need for change (and, please, I shouldn’t have to say ‘not all men’, that’s pretty obvious).

    Sin is the ultimate and root issue–the disease and condition. Men apparently have outpaced women in their respective manifestations of sin because God made them in such a way (testosterone for example) that whatever women do, they just do a whole lot more prolifically, intensely, and with implications for a greater number of people.

    I personally believe that everything men do, even men who are not in Christ, can be traced back to the fact that God has them wired to believe they should win, be the biggest/most/best/greatest at [whatever], be in control or lead, be the givers rather than the receivers, and that what they give should be unconditionally received.

    The problem comes when these God-given qualities are contaminated by the sin nature that is ultimately against God and only against and harmful to women by extension (meditation: David said in Psalm 51 “against You [the Lord] and you only have I sinned”). Whatever undesirable, damaging socialization males get from other males who don’t know what they are talking about or teach them how to be man in a wrong way–all of that is sin. Sin does not have to be a mass shooting in a movie theater or school to be effective; I imagine that Satan more often works through more benign methods such as the generational perpetuation of ignorance, the fact that a great number of males generation after generation never think, imagine or want to admit that some or even all of what some other male taught them about life, God, women, marriage, family, etc. is wrong–from what I’ve seen it just doesn’t occur to them to think that their father, uncle, grandfather, best friend from way back or whatever is wrong in terms of God’s standards.

    I remember one speaker I heard many years ago saying something that stuck with me; he said men are two parts–king and kid. God designed women to encourage and incubate the king in man and to endure with the selfless love of God the antics of the kid until Christ be formed in him. Another thing God wired men with is the desire to sacrifice his very life (time, concentration, energy, physical health) for some project, if you please, that will be indicative of him but go far beyond him, that he can point to later and say, “I did that”–there’s nothing wrong, inherently, with this desire, it’s why we have things like the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s a gift of God. I’ve often said that the special gift of women is endurance while the special gift of men is sacrifice–one is more incidental and impactful than the other, like over a shorter period of time. Our alien status here in this sin-sick world requires both!

    Again, it comes back to sin tainting and convoluting everything: the project he should prioritize, (musician choosing the job or the instrument instead of his wife and children) what he does with the credit, (no mention or thought of God whatsoever) even the vehemence with which he SEEKS the credit (or let’s call it what it really is shall we–the GLORY). Most men I’ve observed, spoken with or known down through the years don’t even know the root reasons why they do what they do; most of them just answer circularly, “Because that’s what a man does” or something like that. I have no problem with it; I just think it’s far more attractive and respectable when a man knows can explain and demonstrate to me the basis for why he subscribes and aspires to the things that he holds as basic pillars of what manhood and masculinity is all about.

    1. Marie,

      Thank you for your comment!

      I believe what you said about sin in men can be traced to a distortion of the way they were made by God is also true about women. Sin absolutely distorts what is good and God’s beautiful design and twists it into something awful.

      Men and women have a myriad of sins. My post today (6-11-13) is about my personal sin – it is probably a pretty good example of the kind of sin that women tend to commit. It’s just that many times our sin is “more culturally acceptable.” But our sin causes massive destruction in relationships as well – and is just as offensive to God as men’s sin.

      We have certainly all learned error from the generations that preceded us. Unfortunately, there is mass ignorance of God’s Word today – even among believers – this GRIEVES my heart! Our lack of knowledge and understanding of Scripture is hurting us more and more as each generation drifts farther from God’s Word and truth. How I pray He will bring us back to the Bible and that we might embrace God’s wisdom no matter what our culture says and no matter what the price may be.

      I pray that we might all keep in mind that it is sin that is the root problem in men and women and that we ALL fall very short of God’s glory and holiness and we are all equally desperately in need of the blood of Jesus and His gift of eternal life. We are all on level ground at the foot of the cross. 🙂

      1. I know, right?

        While I have observed that men seem to stick together as a team better than women (in terms of their definition of manhood), and that sometimes that team tendency among men doesn’t bode well for relations/relationships that ultimately build beautiful, strong families, I must agree that women seem to have flown under the radar and more easily have gotten away with how manipulative and conniving we can be (for example). I agree that all sin from either gender is equally horrid; but men don’t generally sink into poverty as much or as predictably when the woman abandons him and the kids (for example). The nature of sin vs the affects; and to my mind neither wins the moral superiority contest, scripture already answered that question, and outside of Christ I win the same ticket to hell as my husband for even nursing such a prideful notion, in Christ I win another kind of hell.

        I certaintly do not want to give the impression that men are the only manifesters of the nefarious; but at the same time the bottom line is that regardless of who outpaces whom, the male is wired, circuited, and outfitted to charge at whatever is important to him, I mean like, initiate. The most basic definition of a leader or head is to initiate. It’s kind of funny: thinking about about my personality, people would probably get a little frustrated with me because I imagine that if I was a pastor, first, God would have made me a male, second when people would come to me for marriage counseling, and it’s not some really extreme like “Oh, my wife held an ax to my head last night”, I could see that so much of what I’d have to say would come down to reiterating the INSTRUCTIONS that God already gave to the husband and to the wife. Like, “Okay, did you read that?” “Yes” “Did you comprehend that? Do you understand what He means?” “[reluctant, hard-earned] Yes” “Do you need some examples?” “Yes” “Okay, here [provide visual examples]” “Do the examples make sense to you?” “Yes [maybe slightly still reluctant]” “Okay, go home and do that.” Just like with unmarried dilemmas I would likely most often answer, “Okay, read your Bible…[give example passages] “But you don’t know how it feels…”…aaand read your Bible”.

        At this juncture I usually get 70-odd percent of people saying something like such an expectation is too “simplistic”, to which I usually have a three-part response:

        1) Remember, I first qualified my statements by exclusion of the extreme and severely abusive scenarios.

        2) Recall that the expectations are not mine but God’s. Who is God I ask? [discussion] He is the one who has all possible command of all possible science (the omniscient one) and somehow He saw a succinct set of instructions to each gender as perfectly appropos–simplistic? No. Simple? Yes.

        3) Where are you getting the idea that the truthful and effective answer needs to be complicated or even complex (at least to your ears)?
        I am convinced that one of the most mundane, profane manifestations of our fallen nature is the tendency to create complication where there is none. To reach for the contentious and controversial when the uneventful and peaceful is right in our lap. Romans 10: 18/Deuteronomy 30: 11-20; 1 John 5:3; Romans 7: 9-12. And that’s all I’ll say on that point, because I’m not a pastor.

        I’m not saying any of this feels good, I’m just saying that God doesn’t mumble or stutter.

        One of the things I love about scripture is that it is timeless in such a daily kind of way. I can whip out my phone and dial up some rough and rugged Romans 7, some jaded Jeremiah, or some hard core Hebrews and experience myself in the mirror of the intricacies of the Lord’s knowledge and how, for a very long time apparently, he’s already been locked and loaded on the things my psyche is just now APPROACHING an understanding about. While the Word of God is certainly complex in terms of one’s attempts to grasp the whole of it, at no time have I ever felt that to the degree that is enough for my husband’s needs and needs of the household, it is complicated.

        I love men. While women are arguably more complex, I feel that their way of being, admittedly, “simple” gives me a sense of grounded-ness in the midst of a chaotic world ruled the stress we inflict and the stress that we receive. But let me tell you, Peaceful Wife, all of that wasn’t even my very first thought to what you said; my very first thought was that I bet Adam and Eve wept deeply in each other’s arms when they realized what they had just done, and how everything ahead of them in their marriage would be centered in the need to conquer that which makes their greatest love also their greatest thorn. I imagine that the residual of their pristine state afforded them intimate and comprehensive comprehension of the implications of their choices, and the just consequences thereof, for their children to come. As many times as I have cried in my life, as verifiably grievious and unjust as the things I’ve cried about have been, I can guarantee to you that I will never cry the same quantity or quality of tears, outside my face or inside, as they cried that fateful day.

    2. With all due respect many women can’t divorce themselves from other women when they do something wrong either. It is the gender collective mindset. No one wants their team to look bad. We never talk about female pedophilia or ways in which women objectify men. If you talk to a feminist “these things don’t happen.” As a result we don’t study it so we don’t know how often it happens. Only the extreme cases get reported.

      When a man cheats on a woman heaven shakes. When a woman cheats on a man its because he “neglected her emotional needs” / deserved it. When women physically abuse men (domestic violence) people think its funny or again “he deserves it.” There was a YouTube video done by ABCNews with a couple pretending in a park. People laughed as the woman physically and verbally abused her boyfriend. One lady walking by did a “victory dance.”

      1. Joseph,

        Yes, there are women who commit terrible sins and crimes as well. And there does seem to be a double standard in our society.

        It is easy for us to justify and rationalize sin.
        But the truth is –
        All sin hurts people. And all sin hurts God. The one who sins is hurt. Others around the one who sins are hurt. And most importantly – God is deeply wounded.
        He cannot ignore sin. He cannot pretend it never happened. His just nature requires His wrath to be poured out on sin.

        What an amazing Lord we have! That He was willing to stand in the gap and take on the full cup of God’s wrath that I deserved!

        If only we could catch a glimpse of heaven to see how high and lifted up, how holy and sinless and perfect God is – we might begin to see the depth of our own depravity and the deceitfulness of our hearts.

        I believe the only proper posture for any of us is to be on our faces in repentance and humility before our holy God and to be totally surrendered and submitted to Christ in response to the unfathomable love and grace and mercy He has poured out on us, allowing US to be called children of God!?!?!

      2. Hello Joseph,
        It doesn’t help that our governments, politicians and civil servants are afraid of feminists and go out of their way not to offend them.

        Would you believe that in domestic violence, women and men abuse their partners in roughly equal numbers? You’ll never see that in print. I remember the video you mentioned and it was rather depressing to watch.
        What’s also depressing to remember is that I used to consider myself a feminist.

        Anyway, I have to shut up because the whole subject depresses and infuriates me.

        April, thanks so much for posting this.

        1. Eric,

          There are so many things in our culture today that are unfair and unjust.

          I look at it like this:

          If Satan was able to use a handful of very vocal women to attempt to destroy the concept of God, the authority of God’s Word, the authority structure God gave to the church and the family, femininity, masculinity, marriage, family, parenting, sexuality…

          Surely our mighty God can raise up His women (and His men) to tear down the lies and to rebuild these foundational concepts on His Word alone for His greatest glory and for the healing of His people.

          I pray He might use me any way He sees fit in this battle.

          I pray that God might cause THIS generation to rise up and become a godly, Spirit-filled generation, set apart for His purposes – able to leave a godly legacy and the blessings of obedience to God’s Word to our children and those who come behind us.

          Please pray for a massive move of God’s Spirit to bring godly sorrow and true mourning and repentance to His people for our sin – men and women. And please pray for God’s people to truly live with Christ as Lord for His glory alone.

          Thank you for your comment.

        2. A friend of mine is working on a blog that challenges feminism to own up to its failures. He is calling it the “Awesome Human Project” but its not finished yet. It is easy for us to expect politicians to stand up to feminism but they won’t. Until there are mass protests against feminist ideology politicians won’t take notice.

          1. Joseph,
            I believe it will take much more than human protests against feminism to heal our land. I believe it will take the very Spirit of God convicting us, showing us His truth and deep mourning over our sin, all of our sin, that has offended His holiness.

            In Christ,
            April

          2. Peacefulwife,
            I agree fully! My friend is a follower of Christ and knows this well. He feels it is his calling. I believe he is going to include a faith section. As a Catholic he has complained a great deal about how feminism (ironically) has greatly impacted their faith. He linked me to an article by John Paul II called “Feminine Genius” and there were some parts of it that nearly caused my jaw to off. I am guilty of using Wikipedia to understand what they call “New Feminism.” Let’s just say there is very little respect and praise for anything good about men.

          3. Joseph

            It is so sad, feminism has drastically impacted Christianity, so has materialism, universalism, porn, and many other ungodly influences. I pray God will open the eyes of His people to the truth of these worldly ideas.

            For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12

      3. Joseph,

        Thank you for speaking out.

        My awareness of the silent suffering of men and they hurtful ways they are treated by women has been growing over the two years; I can say it seems to have been on the uptrend with this whole context of the Beyonce-esque attitude of “Girls run the world” through they’re sensual wiles and sexual manipulation.

        I agree that proper attention is not given to how women weaponize their mouths toward men, as much as about like leaving a baby in the dumpster or in a hot car with windows rolled up.

        I think our society is really really backward right now in a monster hamburger kind of way. So many people know it is too many calories at once, fattening, will make them feel bloated and sick immediately after, but they still salivate and consume the mess they hear a lot of these “have it all”-women propagating.

  7. God bless you April! I have been saying this very same thing for years!! I know I’ve been absent around here due to graduation / job hunting but I do still read your stuff. This was just too great not to comment. Every woman should put your words on their refrigerator and reread them always.

  8. Yeah that whole “good person” thing is one of the most assumed but insidiuos self-concepts most have.

    We neither capable nor interested in doing anything good (by God’s definition) by our own original notion or inherent action.

    Even our love of God is imparted and respondent love. While God is inherently Holy we are holy only by inheritence.

  9. So you’re everyone mescaline (men) are evil? That is the basic coersion of feminists. So you are saying that God is evil. With the words used here in this one sided blaming contest. Wow people like the auther of the fantasy of evil is reason why men and women don’t know their rule in the family. I want be there when you get judge by God himself.
    Blasphemier

    1. Tobias Geib,

      In this post, I am speaking AGAINST the idea that women are morally and spiritually superior to men. I am speaking AGAINST the arguments that some feminists use and speaking against men – and I am emphasizing that men and women are all equally sinful before God and that women are NOT morally and spiritually superior – but that all of us are equally in desperate need of the healing and Life of Christ.

      I hope this might clarify things. 🙂

      Thank you for sharing your concerns.

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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