A Wife Begins to Abide in Christ

bible collage
This is an email I received this past week from a precious wife I first “met” about 4 months ago or so.  She has a difficult situation with a major chronic illness that can be extremely painful and debilitating at times.  Her husband does a great job caring for her.  There are difficulties and trials on every side.  She has such a heart for God and for her family.  This journey has been quite a struggle the past few months – letting go of control and learning to trust God and her husband.  What a spiritual battle!  Today is a very special milestone.
April I am having such sweet times with God the last two mornings, my husband has started going downstairs again to pray.  I got out of bed feeling like rubbish, got on my knees and covered my head to pray…. I have found the most precious messianic Jewish worship album and it ushers you into the Presence. The children want it on in school too!
Anyways, I got on my knees and put my music in my ears so all noise is shut out , covered my head, and it was like being at the feet of Jesus like Mary and Martha in the bible. It was precious, not many words other than ” Change me …change me… Forgive me, ” tears pouring down my face.
Today has been quiet in our home. My husband keeps asking ” are you ok?” I have had pain, but it’s not that fueling my silence, rather I don’t know?
I guess a feeling of listening to God , to my spirit.
My husband said something today and I just stayed silent and looked.
He said, “Are you ok ?”
I said, “just listening before I respond.”
He nearly fell off the bed!!

I kept hearing God say to me, ” Silence, child,” every time I go to say something harsh or worrying or doubt him, it’s so strange April.

I just went right down and threw my arms around him this morning after prayer and he held me so tight, asking me all the time if I am ok!
What’s happening to me April?  I am scared , I am so quiet …. I know I am going through a transformation.


What is happening here, my beautiful sister in Christ, is that you are beginning to experience the peace of God that passes all understanding!  You have torn out your idols of self and control and are beginning to trust God instead of yourself.  You are beginning to be still and wait on God.  You are giving Him access to every corner of your soul, allowing Him to remove anything that is rotten, and allowing Him to transform your heart and mind.

This is how it feels the first day that you begin to live in God’s peace and your mind is uncluttered from all the usual worry and fretting.  At first, it feels very strange and foreign.  It seems like something is not right because your mind isn’t whirring to and fro trying to figure out how to make everything work out yourself.  You are resting in God’s love.   You are resting in God’s sovereignty.  You are beginning to take a step of faith and trust in Christ to a greater degree than ever before.

Eventually, this peace becomes normal as you continue to abide in Christ.  

It is the greatest blessing ever – to rest in God’s peace and sovereignty and to trust Him and face each day as a new adventure.  “I wonder what God is going to do today!  I can’t wait to see!”  

You begin to long for time alone with Him.  You can’t wait to dive into His Word and uncover new riches and treasures.  All the things of the world begin to fade away and you can see how unimportant they are in the light of heaven.  Christ and His love become more and more dear.  His truth becomes your food and meat.  You truly begin to seek Him above everything else and to long for Him more than anything in life.  You lay your life at His feet in total surrender, holding nothing back, and make him LORD.  You long to please Him and to know Him more.  You begin to see with His eyes.  You begin to love what He loves and hate what He hates.  You adopt His priorities.  You don’t care about your will anymore, you just want HIS will.  You don’t care about your comfort or glory anymore, you just want His glory.  

You realize that as long as you have Him, you have EVERYTHING.  But if you don’t have Him, you have NOTHING.

You begin to become addicted to His presence, power, peace and joy.  Jesus brings true contentment and refreshment for your soul.  The living springs of His water well up in your spirit.  You have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.  Nothing else can compare.