It is way past time for us as the women of God to question what our culture says about femininity, marriage, motherhood and family. THIS is NOT working!
7 thoughts on “A Resignation Letter from a Lawyer to Her Company – She Can't Juggle her Job and Family”
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Reblogged this on Peaceful Single Girl and commented:
Please consider this woman’s life BEFORE you make your decisions about your career, marriage and family and seek God’s heart for you!
This is a tough one for me. I was a stay-at-home mom for four years and due to the economic downturn and how it affected my husband’s business, I had to go back to work full-time. Putting my two kids full-time care was half the hardest things I ever had to do.
Now, fast-forward four years later and we have kind of switched roles. He is now responsible for homework, meal prep, and more of the domestic responsibilities. I am out of the house probably 50 hours a week when you consider commute.
I think I just tend to get bitter when people talk about God’s will for this and the insinuation of me working and him being home is not Gods will. It’s not hard well, but it’s been God’s provision for us for a few years now and though we don’t love it we are both thankful. And I think one of the things that alienates me from other moms is the feeling that because I am not the stay-at-home mom that I am somehow “not doing it right.”
There are so many of the things that you talk about in the blog that are so right on God’s word and I’m so extremely thankful. I just don’t know that this is one of them… there are many women who would not choose the life described in the blog but the issues are deeper than “pursuing a successful career”…
Stupid iPhone…i meant “it’s not OUR will”…
Emily,
I work, too!
My comments were about this wife’s unique situation. I don’t believe that the grueling schedule and total lack of time and sleep and rest and time for family in this particular wife’s situation is healthy physically, emotionally or spiritually. There was NO balance for that wife and it was a recipe for a nervous breakdown, divorce and major illness.
I don’t think I have ever said it is NOT GOD’S WILL for wives to work outside of the home – blanket statement across the board.
I realize there are many wives who work. There is a difference between working 40 hours per week and 80-100 hours per week! I think finding balance is important. So – I did not intend to imply that working outside of the home is not God’s will. My apologies if that is how I sounded!
I think that it is possible to work outside the home, have time with God and make family a huge priority – it is DIFFICULT. But sometimes it can be necessary. Working 12 hour shifts and being on call for 6 more hours per day and only sleeping 4 hours per night and never having time to just rest and enjoy the family is something I would want to pray about and ask my husband about and see what could change. Balance is much harder the more women work outside, in my view. And sometimes it is an optional thing and they may be able to cut back hours and be with family more if they do not believe they are managing their time and responsibilities well.
If you must work, then I would be in constant prayer (as I personally am) for God to help me find balance and to keep His priorities in mind and to use my time wisely and for His will about making the most of the time I have with my husband and children – keeping the eternally important things at the forefront.
And, from my own experience of being the primary breadwinner for 16 years of our marriage – there are unique challenges when the wife works a lot or makes more money or is the sole provider that have to be carefully addressed so that she does not become resentful and more disrespectful.
My desire is for every marriage and family to seek God first and His will for them and to be sensitive to His voice. The results are going to be somewhat unique for each family – but each family will have the fruit of the Spirit and bring great glory to Him.
Does that make sense?
PS – the schedule this lawyer/wife/mom had wouldn’t be healthy for a man, either! Ideally wives and husbands would have time away from work to actually be husbands, wives, moms and dads.
Absolutely and I agree with you. And I pray that God does provide a way for me to work less than full time. It is extremely challenging to balance I’m thankful that my husband has stepped up to help with some of the domestic things. I know that we both wish we could trade roles… I think my bitterness just comes in (and as I write this it seems prideful so I will finish my thought but confess my arrogance) that where I am is not where God wants me or that I am missing his will where we are at… 🙂
Emily,
For me, how much I work outside our home is one of THE MOST PAINFUL TOPICS in our marriage. I was just offered more hours last week at my part time pharmacist job. And I thought, my husband will definitely want me to take that. So I said yes. But then all I could do was cry about it this weekend. I don’t want to work more! Really, I don’t want to work outside the home at all. But I always have. If it is truly God’s will, then I want to accept it gracefully, but my heart is to be home with my children and husband and family as much as possible. So my husband finally just said for me to do whatever I want to do. Then I felt awful that he was frustrated with me. YUCK.
There have been many times I have resented my degree. I know this struggle very well. I have seen God use me to minister to coworkers and patients in the pharmacy. And if He has me there, I know He is sovereign and has reasons for me to be there. But it is a struggle. It’s easy to see what I want and to think what I want is God’s will. But, I may not be right. So I pray that God will give my husband wisdom and direct both of our careers and our family. And I pray the same for you! 🙂
I know that the more I work, the easier it is for me to feel bitter and resentful and THOSE attitudes of mine are sin. 🙁 Yes – it is a constant battle.
Glad to hear from you! This is such a critical topic and it is at the center of who we are as women. That is why we have so much emotion about it! In Christ, April Cassidy
http://www.peacefulwife.com