I Am Responsible for Myself Spiritually – Part 1

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I am not the Holy Spirit. It is not my job to convict my husband – or anyone else – of sin. And it is not my job to make people repent. I don’t get to make people’s decisions for them. I am not them. I don’t have the right to usurp their free will. Even God does not usurp our free will. He allows us to make our own choices.

My husband is not also not the Holy Spirit – and he is not me. I cannot try to make him responsible for me spiritually. He doesn’t get to make my decisions for me.

Yes, he is in a position of delegated spiritual authority over me. God can and will use him to lead me and even to teach me some spiritual things – especially if he is a believer. (I have seen God use unbelieving husbands to speak sanctifying truth and even give godly rebukes to their believing wives sometimes, as well.) God may also use spiritual leaders at my church to help guide me and to teach me spiritual things. But, ultimately,  I must weigh what my husband and pastors/teachers/mentors say against God’s Word and seek to obey God to the best of my understanding as I seek to be filled with God’s Spirit and to handle His Word rightly. God, His Spirit and His Word are higher authorities in my life than any human. I am accountable to God for my obedience and my sin. Those in positions of leadership are accountable to God for their leadership, their obedience and their sin.

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. I John 4:1

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 2 Timothy 2:15

 I may need to confront my husband  about sin in his life, when appropriate and necessary, once I have taken care of sin in my own life. (Matthew 7:1-5, Matthew 18:15-17) However, my primary responsibility is to ask God to show me my own sin so I can repent of anything that offends God in my life and focus on walking in the power of God’s Spirit and in obedience to Christ myself. God hates pride and self-righteousness and loves those who are humble before Him and others.

“These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” Isaiah 66:2

I may gently, humbly, respectfully confront sin in the lives of others, as I am sensitive to God’s Spirit, walking in obedience to His Word and to His promptings at appropriate times when necessary, but I must leave the results with God and the people involved. I can explain something ten times a day about God to a wife every day for 6 months, but until God opens her eyes, she cannot see or understand.

I cannot open anyone’s  eyes to God and His truth. I cannot even open my own eyes. That is the Holy Spirit’s job.

MY RESPONSIBILITY

My job is to point people to Christ, to share His Word, to obey God, to love them, to love God, to be filled with His Spirit, and to be fully available and useful to Him. But He is the key here. Not me. He doesn’t NEED me. He loves me. He can use me. But He doesn’t depend on me – as if His plans would all be thwarted if I mess up. His sovereignty and my free will work together in ways my brain cannot begin to fathom.

I need God desperately and depend completely on Christ.  I must do what God calls me to do to share with others and then leave them in God’s hands and trust and pray that God will open their eyes in His timing. I rest in His sovereignty and let Him carry the weight of other people’s problems and their souls. I cannot carry that weight.

When it comes to pointing a husband to Christ, God gives wives a very specific way to do that – it is without our words about spiritual things, but through our respectful, pure, chaste behavior. I Peter 3:1-6. If I want to point my husband to Christ, I must trash my own way of doing this! My way, in my human wisdom, will only repel my husband. If I am to influence my husband for Christ, I must be willing to do it God’s way!

  • The decisions other people make belong to them, if they are grown adults.
  • My decisions belong to me.
  • Their decisions are their own to make whether they do what I want them to do or not. They will face the consequences for their decisions. They will answer to God for their decisions. I don’t have the right to try to use manipulation, guilt, playing the martyr or people pleasing to try to get my way.
  • I cannot force anyone to do anything. Of course, I may experience some of the painful consequences of the sins of others. That is going to happen at times as we live in relationships with sinners. And others are going to be hurt by my sin at times, too. Thankfully, God is “so sovereign” that He is able to even use what others intend for evil against me for my ultimate good and His glory if I belong to Christ (Romans 8:28-29 and Genesis 37-40, the story of Joseph). He is able to do the same with my sin, too, I am so thankful!
  • My goal cannot be to “always avoid pain” and “never let anyone sin against me.” My goal must be to trust God to empower me and to be with me – to walk through whatever may come. If someone is severely sinning against me and is unrepentant even after I follow Matthew 7:1-5 and Matthew 18:15-17, I may have to set appropriate boundaries until he/she repents.
  • My decisions and the consequences of them belong to me. Other people cannot force me to do things, God gives me a free will.
  • I can chose to follow and honor my husband’s leadership if he is not asking me to clearly sin or to condone clear sin or to do something illegal or seriously dangerous and if he is in his right mind (not high, drunk, mentally ill, physically abusive, etc…). But I do need to be able to decide to obey God rather than men if someone in authority over me (the government, my husband, my boss) asks me to do something that blatantly goes against God’s Word. (for more on this issue, please check the post Spiritual Authority)

WHAT I AM ACCOUNTABLE FOR

  • I am responsible to God to love Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength and to love others with His love, including to love Greg with the agape love of Christ (Matthew 22:37-40, I Corinthians 13:4-8) no matter what anyone else is doing or is not doing. (For wives who are in actual danger, please see the note at the bottom of this post.)
  • I am responsible to be the wife and woman God commands me to be in His Word no matter if no one else in the world is seeking and following Christ, no matter how badly the generations before me dropped the ball, no matter how ungodly/godly the examples I had in my life were when I was growing up and no matter what my husband is/is not doing at the moment.
  • I am responsible to examine my own motives and to confess any sin, to turn away from it and to be in right relationship with God through the power of what Jesus did for me on the cross independent of what anyone else is doing.
  • I am responsible for my motives, attitudes, actions, behaviors, sin and obedience to God even when others sin against me. There is no “free pass” for sin available to me. God always hates all sin.
  • I am responsible to tell others directly, and usually – privately,  if they are wronging me or sinning against me so that they have a chance to make things right (Matthew 18:15-17).
  • I am responsible to forgive others’ sins against me (that does not mean I must trust them until they are willing to rebuild trust, my trust is to be fully in God) if I want God to forgive me (Matthew 6:14-15).
  • I am responsible TO others to love them with God’s love and to treat them with honor (The 2nd greatest commandment God gives us is to love others, Matthew 22:37-40) – but I am not responsible FOR them or their decisions or to try to rescue them from the consequences of all of their poor choices.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15

Other people are responsible for these things in their own lives. We each own our own sin and our own obedience to God. God will judge us individually.

I can and should share my desires, needs, feelings and ideas. I can share God’s truth. But it is wrong of me to attempt to force my way on others. God doesn’t force Himself on us. He is a Gentleman. He allows us to have free will. He waits for us to invite Him into our lives voluntarily – at the prompting of His Spirit’s call. I don’t have the right to try to take away another adult’s free will.

No one has the right to take away my free will, either.  My husband can ask me to do something, he can direct me to do something. But then I ultimately have the choice as to what I will do and I will bear the consequences for my choices. Of course, if anyone makes sinful choices, they will suffer for that, those around them will suffer and God’s heart will be grieved. Sin hurts everyone and is a toxic poison to all of our relationships.

As a believer, I willingly sacrifice my will to my Lord and choose to die to self and live for Christ. Now I live for His will and His desires, not my own.

RELATED:

When My Spouse Is Wrong

Do I Condone Marital Rape or Abuse?

Confronting Our Husbands about Their Sin

I Am Responsible for My Emotions

Does Being a Biblically Submissive Wife Mean That I Can’t Say How I Feel or What I Need?

My Husband Gets Angry When I Respectfully Disagree with Him

DISCLAIMER:

If your husband is extremely controlling (i.e.: monitoring your every keyboard stroke, monitoring every conversation you have, monitoring where your car is and where you are every moment of the day), has a violent temper or is physically hurting you, please seek appropriate counsel and help. Some abused wives think if they were “more respectful” their husbands wouldn’t be abusive – that the abuse is “their fault.” That is not true. Abusive husbands (or wives) who are very controlling or physically abusive need help. They will be abusive no matter what their wife does because often there are major issues in their own lives. A wife could purposely try to rile up the anger of an abusive husband. That is unwise. But abuse is about something going on in the abuser’s soul –  that is how he would treat any woman to whom he was married.

In a similar way, I would have been a controlling, disrespectful wife no matter to whom I was married – because my sinful nature was bent that way.  We need the power of Christ and His blood shed for us to overcome the power of sin in our lives.

If your husband demands respect in a violent way or tells you that you are always 100% of the problem in the marriage and never takes any responsibility for his own sin and/or you are not safe, please seek appropriate counsel or get somewhere safe ASAP if you are truly in danger. Contact the National Hotline for Domestic Violence if you need to.

  • A wife’s respect and biblical submission can bless most husbands and can be healing in most marriages. But a wife’s respect and biblical submission cannot “fix” violence, alcoholism, drug addictions, mental health problems or real abuse.

I believe a wife can act with respect, as in – she doesn’t have to sin against her husband even if he is abusive. But, she may need to set up boundaries or possibly leave if she is in true danger. If this is your situation, my heart absolutely breaks for you, but please don’t read my blog and quickly seek appropriate help! God is able to heal you and transform you. His Word is powerful and healing for us all. But I am not experienced with abuse and you are going to need very specialized, experienced help.

"My Husband Wants to Go WHERE!?!?!?!" – From the Archives

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From a reader. When we submit ourselves fully to Christ and live by faith and obedience to Him – life is such an adventure.  We never know what He might do!  THANK YOU to this precious wife for sharing her story and to God be all the glory!!!!!

BAD NEWS

I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart sank when I heard my husband say that he was planning to take a trip to Las Vegas with a single guy friend from work. You’d have to know a great deal of our relationship history to fully understand why this hit me the way it did, but nevertheless I was distraught over it. I think most wives would feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of their man going away to a place like Las Vegas without them. I felt VERY uncomfortable, given my husband’s past issues.

THINGS HAD BEEN IMPROVING SO MUCH LATELY!

Things had been really looking up for our family, especially within my marriage. I was finally coming to a point where God was really showing me so much about what it means to be a respectful and submissive wife. I was effectively putting it all into practice, and I was really watching the changes happen. My husband was again warming up to me, after I had made him flee, so to speak, with my controlling words and behavior in the past.

Our marriage had been very broken. Once I stopped trying to force him to get close with God and backed off, he began to take an interest in God again. He started to really step up as a leader of our family in many ways I had never seen in all the previous years of our marriage. He wanted to have a pure life like I did, and after all the years of struggling, for us to be in a place where we both wanted the same thing was really amazing. What was even more amazing was the fact that I was able to understand so many new things about what to do and not do as a wife.

I really felt like things were finally going to be okay, and I wasn’t going to have to deal with the same old behaviors from my husband.

As it turns out, I might always have to deal with those things, and just maybe, he might always have to deal with me struggling to be a respectful wife and messing it up more often than not. Unfortunately, we are sinners. This is the reality of all marriages, and I am learning A LOT about this. That is not to say that God can’t transform our hearts and make us more like Him everyday, but we will always struggle with our flesh. It would be foolish to believe that our husband’s are not going to make mistakes and hurt us.

MY FEELINGS ABOUT HIS PLANS FOR THE TRIP

When my husband told me about wanting to go to Las Vegas, I did not take it well. I tried very hard to respond as best as I could with many of the tools I’d learned from God and from April’s site, but it was hard. I was so confused. I thought my husband wanted to leave these ways behind.

  • Why would he want to run off and be in a place like that with his single friend?
  • Was I being judgmental by thinking this?
  • I thought he didn’t want to even drink anymore.
  • Why did he have to pick Las Vegas?
  • What would happen there?

My mind was racing. I should also mention that my husband works two jobs everyday so I can stay home with our sons. I am eternally grateful that he does this for us, but it can be very difficult, because we hardly see him at all during the week. It felt so wrong that he would take vacation time and be away from us by choice. It also hurt my heart deeply that he didn’t pick me to come along.

I wanted so desperately for him to want to whisk me away on a romantic trip and be his first choice as a companion.

All of these emotions were flying around in my head, and it was so painful. I knew in my heart that I really had been doing the things God asked me to do in my marriage and as a wife, so I couldn’t understand why this was happening. I would have understood him wanting to go with someone else if I were still being controlling, manipulative, and disrespectful, but I knew I wasn’t. I was actively making sure I wasn’t.

WHAT I DID

I did tell my husband all of the different emotions I was feeling. That was also hard for me, because in the past I had really worried about how he would react when I shared negative feelings with him. God helped me through this, however, and I was able to share all of the issues I had more calmly than I would have in the past. Instead of demanding him to respond to everything I said, I let it be. This is also very different for me, because normally I’d be asking a million questions like what do you think or are you mad I feel this way… but, I didn’t. I let him take what I said into consideration and then I had to let God do the rest.

GOD WORKED IN MY HEART – A LOT!

Over the course of a month I struggled with trying to accept that he was going on this trip and trying to mold my feelings to accompany that as a truth. I still felt like it was wrong though. I kept praying that God’s will would prevail, whether it was for my husband to go or not.

This was a pivotal time for me in my relationship with God, because I started to realize that my motives were not necessarily right when it came to what I was trying to achieve as a wife. I wanted to be a good wife, but I also expected that my husband was going to be a good husband as a result. That is not always the truth. God really showed me that

I need to be a good wife for Him. I need to make sure I’m being submissive and respectful for God regardless of what my husband is doing/not doing.

That was VERY eye opening for me. It was also a giant test, because I had to blindly trust God through it. I didn’t know how I’d survive those days he’d be away not knowing what was going on, but I had to just keep handing those fearful thoughts and feelings to God.

GOD WAS AT WORK WITH MY HUSBAND, TOO – UNBEKNOWNST TO ME!

Last week my husband came home from work and told me we needed to talk. My stomach was in knots, because I assumed he wanted to go over when he was leaving and all the details of the trip. Instead, he told me he realized that it was wrong to go with his friend. He said he left the whole trip in God’s hands and it was completely falling through. When they went to book the flight, the website would not accept their credit cards for some mysterious (GOD) reason. I guess his friend kept changing his mind as well.

My husband acknowledged that it was definitely the hand of God. He said he was very sorry, and that he wanted to make the family more of a priority. He then informed me that he wanted to take me on a trip instead! We will be going on vacation together at the beginning of next month!

I really am in awe of what God did with this situation. It’s hard for me to even express in words how thankful I am. The lessons I am learning are priceless.

MY MESSAGE TO WIVES

What I really want to say to wives is that you need to expect that your husband is going to mess up and do crazy things, but you can’t let that affect how you behave as a wife. Keep seeking God. Keeping asking Him to give you the strength to be the wife He wants you to be. He will equip you, and when things look grim, He is there, and you can most definitely trust Him. He will use your behavior and your faith to bring about positive changes in your husband, but it won’t always be in the way that you want or expect. It may just be a two steps forward, three steps back type of thing, but take heart, God is at work!

God works everything together for the good (of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose Romans 8:28). When I was struggling with all the confusion of this situation I felt like I couldn’t see what good would come from it at all, but then I remembered who God really is, and I knew I could trust Him with this.

If this hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have realized my focus in seeking to be a godly wife is to be God and only God. I learned that we can’t get stuck on the plans and ideas other people have. God can definitely step in the way and change things into how He wants them to be. As wives we need to fully and completely fix our eyes on God, and not have our focus on everything that is going on around us. God is in control.

So, this was really hard, but it was also really amazing and good for me. I think so many of the things we go through as wives are like that. Lessons are hard, but so very valuable. I pray that we keep close to God so we can grasp all the wisdom He wants to give us, and that we can be that godly loving example of Him to everyone around us. 🙂

FROM PEACEFULWIFE:

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!  He IS able!  He is sovereign – even over our husbands.  We can trust Him.  I can’t guarantee that every story will work out just like this one. But as we seek the Lord wholeheartedly and yield ourselves completely to submission to Him, He will truly use all things for His glory and our ultimate good when we yield to Him and put our faith in Him.  WHAT A STORY!  THANK YOU, LORD!

OTHER WIVES – if you have a story about how God worked in your marriage, or is working  in you and your marriage – please leave me your story on my Contact page – let me know that you would like for me to share it. I may share it anonymously as a post!

Biblical Submission and a Minivan

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Guess what???

Today, March 19, is my birthday.

the BIG

40!!

And – of course – my identical twin sister’s birthday, too.

And – it is my sister-in-law’s birthday, as well! 🙂

WOOHOO!

I AM COMPLETELY FULFILLED AND AT PEACE WITH MY LIFE

If something happened to me today – this is really shocking that I can actually say this – I have no regrets!  I used to be consumed with regrets.  But now, I know that if I were to meet Jesus today – I know that God has used me to reach many people for His Kingdom and I am so thankful for the fruit I have already been able to see God growing in others.   I can’t wait to see all of His plans for each of you.  Y’all are precious to me!  I am thankful for the 40 years I have had and for the opportunities God has given to me.

I pray that He might empower me to be a godly steward with all that He has given me and that He might use me for His purposes every moment of the rest of my life.  I trust Him fully.  I yield myself completely.  I love Him with all my heart.  I want to be in the center of God’s will – nothing less and nothing more.

———————————————————–

Ok, on to the story…

A CHANCE ENCOUNTER AT WAL-MART

I was pumping gas at Wal-Mart today (3-18) and right before I got out of the car – I said, “I would really like to have a smaller car that didn’t use so much gas.”. While I was finishing up, an elderly man at the pump next to me asked if I wanted to sell my minivan. (He did not hear me say anything – I said I wanted a smaller car to my children before I opened the door.) WEIRD!

Hmm… I have been thinking about how I would like to get a smaller car now that we don’t have pac-n-plays and strollers to carry on vacation anymore. This man loves Chrysler Town and Country minivans – but his has over 200,000 miles on it. Mine has 92,000 miles. It has been paid off for awhile now. I love not having car payments!

I have asked my husband before about the possibility of trading my minivan for something smaller and more fuel efficient. 18 MPG in town is not very impressive to me! But, in the past, he has always said that since we don’t have a car payment – we might as well just keep the minivan.

I told the man that I needed to talk to my husband. He said he would call us in about a week.

I CALLED MY HUSBAND

I called Greg and said, “Something interesting happened today at Wal-Mart! A man asked me about buying my car. I would love to have a smaller car that gets better gas milage. I don’t know how much he might offer. Maybe we could look at getting a used car for me that costs the same amount as what we can sell the van for? Does that sound crazy?”

He said, “It could be interesting. I don’t know how much you could get for it. Maybe we could look into it and see.”

THE PLAN

I prayed, “God, if it is Your will for me to be able to get a smaller, more fuel efficient car – please provide one at the right time. And please give Greg wisdom about this decision. I trust You. I seek only Your will.”

Now – I wait. Peacefully. Cheerfully.

I don’t obsess.  I don’t struggle.  I don’t worry.  I don’t try to play out every possible scenario in my mind.  I don’t try to figure out how to MAKE everything work out the way I think it should.

I don’t lean on my own understanding but trust God’s sovereignty and trust Him to lead me through my husband and the circumstances.

This is how I approach decisions now – whether it is home schooling the children or not, or adopting a child or not, or giving more money to those in need, etc.

  • If I get to sell the minivan and get a smaller car – that’s AWESOME! I will be excited!
  • If Greg decides it’s not worth it to sell the minivan – that’s AWESOME! I still have a wonderful, working car with no payments.

The key to peace is to not get attached to the outcome – but to trust that God will lead me to the doors He has for me and to be grateful no matter what happens.  Then I get to have an adventure as I see God’s sovereignty work out His will in my life in all the decisions and details.  It’s amazing! 

TO BE CONTINUED…

"My Husband Wants to Go WHERE!?!?!?!"

530307_32868162

From a reader.  THANK YOU to this precious wife for sharing her story and to God be all the glory!!!!!

BAD NEWS

I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart sank when I heard my husband say that he was planning to take a trip to Las Vegas with a single guy friend from work. You’d have to know a great deal of our relationship history to fully understand why this hit me the way it did, but nevertheless I was distraught over it. I think most wives would feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of their man going away to a place like Las Vegas without them. I felt VERY uncomfortable, given my husband’s past issues.

THINGS HAD BEEN IMPROVING SO MUCH LATELY!

Things had been really looking up for our family, especially within my marriage. I was finally coming to a point where God was really showing me so much about what it means to be a respectful and submissive wife. I was effectively putting it all into practice, and I was really watching the changes happen. My husband was again warming up to me, after I had made him flee, so to speak, with my controlling words and behavior in the past.

Our marriage had been very broken. Once I stopped trying to force him to get close with God and backed off, he began to take an interest in God again. He started to really step up as a leader of our family in many ways I had never seen in all the previous years of our marriage. He wanted to have a pure life like I did, and after all the years of struggling, for us to be in a place where we both wanted the same thing was really amazing. What was even more amazing was the fact that I was able to understand so many new things about what to do and not do as a wife. I really felt like things were finally going to be okay, and I wasn’t going to have to deal with the same old behaviors from my husband.

As it turns out, I might always have to deal with those things, and just maybe, he might always have to deal with me struggling to be a respectful wife and messing it up more often than not. Unfortunately, we are sinners. This is the reality of all marriages, and I am learning A LOT about this. That is not to say that God can’t transform our hearts and make us more like Him everyday, but we will always struggle with our flesh. It would be foolish to believe that our husband’s are not going to make mistakes and hurt us.

MY FEELINGS ABOUT HIS PLANS FOR THE TRIP

When my husband told me about wanting to go to Las Vegas, I did not take it well. I tried very hard to respond as best as I could with many of the tools I’d learned from God and from April’s site, but it was hard. I was so confused. I thought my husband wanted to leave these ways behind.

  • Why would he want to run off and be in a place like that with his single friend?
  • Was I being judgmental by thinking this?
  • I thought he didn’t want to even drink anymore.
  • Why did he have to pick Las Vegas?
  • What would happen there?

My mind was racing. I should also mention that my husband works two jobs everyday so I can stay home with our sons. I am eternally grateful that he does this for us, but it can be very difficult, because we hardly see him at all during the week. It felt so wrong that he would take vacation time and be away from us by choice. It also hurt my heart deeply that he didn’t pick me to come along. I wanted so desperately for him to want to whisk me away on a romantic trip and be his first choice as a companion.

All of these emotions were flying around in my head, and it was so painful. I knew in my heart that I really had been doing the things God asked me to do in my marriage and as a wife, so I couldn’t understand why this was happening. I would have understood him wanting to go with someone else if I were still being controlling, manipulative, and disrespectful, but I knew I wasn’t. I was actively making sure I wasn’t.

WHAT I DID

I did tell my husband all of the different emotions I was feeling. That was also hard for me, because in the past I had really worried about how he would react when I shared negative feelings with him. God helped me through this, however, and I was able to share all of the issues I had more calmly than I would have in the past. Instead of demanding him to respond to everything I said, I let it be. This is also very different for me, because normally I’d be asking a million questions like what do you think or are you mad I feel this way… but, I didn’t. I let him take what I said into consideration and then I had to let God do the rest.

GOD WORKED IN MY HEART – A LOT!

Over the course of a month I struggled with trying to accept that he was going on this trip and trying to mold my feelings to accompany that as a truth. I still felt like it was wrong though. I kept praying that God’s will would prevail, whether it was for my husband to go or not.

This was a pivotal time for me in my relationship with God, because I started to realize that my motives were not necessarily right when it came to what I was trying to achieve as a wife. I wanted to be a good wife, but I also expected that my husband was going to be a good husband as a result. That is not always the truth. God really showed me that I need to be a good wife for Him. I need to make sure I’m being submissive and respectful for God regardless of what my husband is doing/not doing.

That was VERY eye opening for me. It was also a giant test, because I had to blindly trust God through it. I didn’t know how I’d survive those days he’d be away not knowing what was going on, but I had to just keep handing those fearful thoughts and feelings to God.

GOD WAS AT WORK WITH MY HUSBAND, TOO – UNBEKNOWNST TO ME!

Last week my husband came home from work and told me we needed to talk. My stomach was in knots, because I assumed he wanted to go over when he was leaving and all the details of the trip. Instead, he told me he realized that it was wrong to go with his friend. He said he left the whole trip in God’s hands and it was completely falling through. When they went to book the flight, the website would not accept their credit cards for some mysterious (GOD) reason. I guess his friend kept changing his mind as well.

My husband acknowledged that it was definitely the hand of God. He said he was very sorry, and that he wanted to make the family more of a priority. He then informed me that he wanted to take me on a trip instead! We will be going on vacation together at the beginning of next month!

I really am in awe of what God did with this situation. It’s hard for me to even express in words how thankful I am. The lessons I am learning are priceless.

MY MESSAGE TO WIVES

What I really want to say to wives is that you need to expect that your husband is going to mess up and do crazy things, but you can’t let that affect how you behave as a wife. Keep seeking God. Keeping asking Him to give you the strength to be the wife He wants you to be. He will equip you, and when things look grim, He is there, and you can most definitely trust Him. He will use your behavior and your faith to bring about positive changes in your husband, but it won’t always be in the way that you want or expect. It may just be a two steps forward, three steps back type of thing, but take heart, God is at work!

God works everything together for the good (of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose Romans 8:28). When I was struggling with all the confusion of this situation I felt like I couldn’t see what good would come from it at all, but then I remembered who God really is, and I knew I could trust Him with this.

If this hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have realized my focus in seeking to be a godly wife is to be God and only God. I learned that we can’t get stuck on the plans and ideas other people have. God can definitely step in the way and change things into how He wants them to be. As wives we need to fully and completely fix our eyes on God, and not have our focus on everything that is going on around us. God is in control.

So, this was really hard, but it was also really amazing and good for me. I think so many of the things we go through as wives are like that. Lessons are hard, but so very valuable. I pray that we keep close to God so we can grasp all the wisdom He wants to give us, and that we can be that godly loving example of Him to everyone around us. 🙂

FROM PEACEFULWIFE:

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!  He IS able!  He is sovereign – even over our husbands.  We can trust Him.  And He will truly use all things for His glory and our ultimate good when we yield to Him and put our faith in Him.  WHAT A STORY!  It just gives me chills all over.  THANK YOU, LORD!

OTHER WIVES – if you have a story about how God worked in your marriage, or is working  in you and your marriage – please let me know!