From a husband who reads my blog:
1. My wife’s default response to a suggestion or request (I rarely make demands) would be to say “Sure, no problem” rather than being met with a litany of reasons why my request is unreasonable.
2. When I try to make things more efficient to lessen her load to at least consider it rather than giving me multiple reasons why she is right and I am wrong.
3. When I do an extra project around the house, to acknowledge it and overlook imperfections.
4. Her default mode would be to believe the best in me rather than the worst.
5. When I get her a gift that she would actually use it. I have all but given up on shopping for gifts for her because they are always tossed aside or returned.
6. She would consider my desires above the children’s.
7. She would support me with the children rather than undermining me and my role in their lives. Because of her constant undermining, they tend to ignore most things that I tell them to do but when they ignore her, she demands that I stand with her and support her.
8. She would realize that I truly do try to protect her from poor decisions. There have been multiple decisions she has forced that I tried talking her out of where she refused. In fact, the more I tried to reason with her, the more stubborn she became. Then, when things turn out the way I warned her about, she wont even acknowledge it or learn from it. I guess to do so would cost her some control.
9. She would laugh along with us as I play with my kids rather than criticizing me for something I say or do. I used to wrestle with them but if they bumped something and got hurt, she would chew me out. After this happened a few times I stopped wrestling with them.
10. When I ask her to play cards, a game or something after we put our kids to bed that she would say sure, I would love to rather than giving me a long explanation of how tired she is and that I should know she needs to relax. I just want to have some fun with her.
11. When I tell her a story about something that happened that she would listen to me rather than interrupt me. Men share their feelings and what is important to them by telling stories. This is how men bond.
12. When I give her a compliment she would just say thank you and accept it rather than demanding I be more specific, disagreeing with me, fishing for more compliments or going on and on about how she needs more compliments. This just shuts me down and makes me fear complimenting her.
13. When I get something we need at the store and have to use a credit card that she would say thank you for making her job easier rather than scolding me for ruining our budget.
14. When I take a responsibility from her to lighten her load, that she wouldn’t fill that new free time in her schedule with another responsibility. It just makes us both busier.
15. She would laugh along with my humor rather than criticizing me for it.
16. When I come up to her to give her a hug or rub her back, that she would respond positively rather than ignore me.
17. When I plan a date or a family activity, that she would be flexible enough to try to make it work rather than always saying no because there is something already planned in the schedule.