I love to take real-life situations and seek to approach them biblically. God has given us a LOT of instruction, help, and wisdom to use in times of conflict in our marriages and in almost any situation. As we learn to look to Him and His Word for biblical principles, and as we learn to depend on Him in faith and prayer – we can then learn to notice His promptings and leading in the details of our unique situations, as well.
Today, let’s picture a scenario where a husband* announces to his wife something like:
- “My job is being relocated in two months to the office 2 hours away.”
- “I found a better job opportunity out of state.”
- “I think a move would be best for our family.”
A wife may be tempted to have a knee-jerk reaction – like, “NO WAY!!!!!!”
Most of us don’t like change too much. It’s easy to immediately hate the idea and blast a husband with all the reasons this can’t possibly sane.
- “Well, then, you need to get a job here. There is no way we are moving.”
- “You can move and the kids and I will stay put. I’m not going to uproot them.”
- “The kids are settled in their school and they have friends here.”
- “I love this neighborhood and this house. I’m not giving it up!”
- “I hate that idea.”
- “I don’t care what you say, I’m not going!”
- “Absolutely not! End of discussion!”
Sometimes it’s easy to freak out in a situation like this and be contentious, defensive, and argumentative. But what if, instead of freaking out and immediately rejecting our man’s idea, we take a deep breath and listen? He may be hearing from the Lord. He may not even know it, himself. But what if God is leading in this idea? What if I am fighting God? How could I possibly know for sure – yet?
SOME BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES TO KEEP IN MIND IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
- “Father, if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42
- Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Eph. 5:33
- Train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5
God does work through things like circumstances, job transfers, a husband’s ideas (as the God-given leader of the family), job offers, and other situations to lead us into His will. Of course I am not saying that every job transfer announcement means, “It is definitely God’s will for the family to move.” Or that every idea a husband has is God’s will. We do need to pray and seek the Lord in times of decisions. So do our men.
But we have a sovereign Lord! If only we could grasp this precious truth! He is even able to take awful things like natural disasters, wars, and persecution – things Satan intends to use to destroy us – to lead His children. And He can certainly use good things to benefit us, too (Rom. 8:28-29). He will never leave us and never forsake us!
It could be that God wants to lead us into a new place where we will be greatly blessed. He may have just the right church family waiting for us, just the specific neighbors He wants us to have as our friends. He may have mentors for us in the new place or an amazing new ministry. Or, it may be that our children’s best friends and future spouses might be there. That is what happened when my Daddy’s job was relocated in 1987 from Pittsburgh, PA, to Columbia, SC! I sure hated the move at the time, but now, I am grateful beyond words!
Our cooperative spirit with our husbands, and – even more importantly – with the Lord, makes a huge difference! It also helps us to shine for the gospel and to draw others to Christ.
A DIFFERENT APPROACH
Maybe I could consider approaching a big, potentially scary decision, in new ways:
- Listen to his ideas.
- See the merit and good points he has, as well as the reality of the situation.
- Ask for some time to pray to:
- Seek the Lord.
- Be open to Him.
- Die to myself.
- Really determine to trust Him no matter how He may lead.
- Yield everything in my life to His will and hold things loosely in my hands.
- Desire God’s will and His greatest glory for my husband, my children, and myself, even if I don’t know exactly what may happen.
- Then after I have prayed and am calm, I can share my heart respectfully. I can share my concerns politely, in a friendly, cooperative way.
- Maybe, in time, I might even be able to get excited about the idea. It could be a grand adventure the Lord has prepared for us all!
God is the One who is outside of time and space. Not me. He is omniscient – He knows everything. I definitely do not. He knows absolutely everything about the past, the present, and the future. His wisdom far exceeds my own. I want to be cooperative when He is opening a new door He has for my family.
*NOTE – If your husband is suffering from uncontrolled mental health issues, uncontrolled drug/alcohol addiction, if he is abusive, or not in his right mind, please seek appropriate, trustworthy, godly counsel and help from your local church, medical professionals, and even the police if necessary.
Have you experienced a time when your husband believed that your family needed to move and now you can see God’s hand at work? Or maybe you had a move where you went kicking and screaming, only to realize later that God was in it. We’d love to hear about it in the comments. Your story may be just the inspiration another wife needs to see.
Taking Our Thoughts Captive – VIDEO