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Prayer for My Husband

***  Pic of my husband and our daughter at our church ***

Wives, maybe you’d like to join me by adapting this prayer or a similar prayer for your husband.  There is SO MUCH POWER when we pray in total faith in our incredible God!


Thank You for being the Creator of the universe, King of kings, Lord of lords, Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, the only Sovereign One, the Great I AM and the Author of life.  I praise You for Your great and unsearchable wisdom and for Your design for marriage and families.  I thank and praise You for creating marriage to be a living parable of the very great mystery of the relationship between Christ and His church.

Forgive me for my sins.  Cleanse me of every trace of pride, resentment, bitterness, anger, jealousy, rebellion against you, disrespect for you or my husband and for thinking I know best.  Forgive me for trying to take control over things that belong to You alone and for trying to control my husband.  Help me release my grip on him so that he can serve You in freedom – that I might not disrupt the communication between You and my husband.  Show me any sin I am cherishing in my heart that grieves Your Spirit.  Show me where I am filled with fear and not trusting You.  Help me to see that You are more than big enough to handle my deepest fears and that I can trust You and not be afraid.  Help me to find my trust muscles and to yield everything in my life to You.  I surrender my will.  I have died to sin.  You crucified my sinful nature.  Let me live for You – giving up my desires, my will, my plans and my wisdom to embrace Your desires, Your will, Your plans and Your wisdom.  The things I was holding onto were trash.  Help me to see that any “sacrifices” I make for You will be turned to pure joy – and I really am not sacrificing anything of worth to do things Your way.  Help me to remember that the cost of disobedience is always greater than the cost of obedience.  Give me a willing heart to hear and follow Your voice!  I give myself fully to You.  I am completely available to You to use in any way You desire.

Let me be a godly wife and mother by Your standards, Your definition and Your power.  I don’t have the strength to be a godly woman on my own.  I am weak, but You are so strong.  I invite Your Spirit to completely fill and overtake me, empowering me to be a godly woman who has great beauty in Your sight – that gentle and peaceful spirit that does not give way to fear.  Let me put all my trust in You – not myself, not my wisdom, not my husband, not marriage, not my job, not my abilities, not money or the government.  Open my eyes to any idols that I am worshipping and serving and sacrificing to instead of You and let me tear them all out by the root and only put all my faith and trust in You alone!  I need to decrease that You might increase.  Your wisdom is so much higher than mine!  I reject my own wisdom and what seems right in my eyes and I embrace Your wisdom, Your Word and Your will for my life.  Let me hunger and thirst for Your Word.  Let me seek You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  Let me love You with all that I am.  I hold nothing back from You.  I trust You with all things.  And I know that You will work all things for my good because I love You and am called according to Your purpose.  So I have no reason to fear!  I can’t lose!  No matter what happens, You will cause it to be a blessing and bring good to me and glory to Your Name.  So I can rest in Your love and trust You without any fear.  Empower me to give my husband respect in ways that touch the deepest parts of his masculine soul.  Teach me to stand behind his leadership in our marriage – he is the God-given spiritual authority in our family, not me.  Help me to be a godly follower.  Give me strength and wisdom to resist should he ask me to sin or go against Your Word.  But give me the grace, wisdom, courage and power to put my faith in him – knowing my faith is really in You to lead him – so that he might see I trust him and I trust You.

I lift up my precious husband to Your throne room in heaven.  Thank You for his leadership.  Thank You for giving him to me to protect, teach and guide me.  Thank You for him carrying that heavy weight that is too much for me.  I trust You to give him Your wisdom to take me and our family where You desire us to go.  I don’t know the way – but You do.  And I trust that You are powerful enough to lead me through my imperfect husband.  Thank You that You are strong enough and powerful enough to use even his mistakes and sins for Your glory and my good – so I have no reason to fear.  I know You will work things out for the best for my family, even if we suffer along the way.  I will trust You even in the painful times.  I seek Your glory more than my comfort.  I pray that You might draw my husband close to You.  I pray that You might allow him to be a man after Your own heart.  Convict him of every sin and anything that offends You.  Let him have Your priorities and be filled to overflowing with Your Spirit of power, love and self-discipline.  Let the fruit of Your Spirit be very evident in his life and our marriage daily.  Use him in whatever way seems best to You to bring the greatest possible glory and honor to Christ.  Let him daily take up the full armor of God.  Let him be mature and complete, lacking nothing, because of Your Spirit at work in his life.  Let him wisely handle the Word of God.  Use him to combat Satan in Your name – protecting our family from evil, temptation and harm.  Let him be alert and well-prepared, able to provide for us, protect us and lead us in Your narrow path that leads to life.  Use him to bring many to Your kingdom.

Thank you for my husband’s strengths! He is such a precious gift to me.  Thank You for opening my eyes to the treasure he is and for healing our marriage!

  • He loves You
  • He wants to take us to a Bible-teaching church
  • He is so patient, kind, forgiving and full of mercy and grace
  • He can see the bigger picture when I can’t
  • He is so emotionally and spiritually stable
  • He is a man of his word and of integrity
  • He loves his wife dearly
  • He loves his children and provides well for us emotionally/spiritually/financially/physically
  • He has godly wisdom
  • He is careful to make the best choices – he doesn’t rush into things foolishly
  • He is gentle, selfless and loving towards me – portraying the love of Christ in such a powerful way
  • He never lords his authority over me
  • I am safe with him and can trust him
  • He is faithful to his marriage vows and considers our marriage a covenant before God
  • He has a very strong work ethic
  • He is a talented DIY-er
  • He is wonderful at finding good deals and he is responsible with money
  • He is trustworthy and responsible
  • He has such a refreshing sense of humor and doesn’t take himself too seriously
  • He is affectionate towards me and our children
  • He is such a visionary – able to turn an old run-down house into my dream home
  • He is awesome with technology
  • He has a passion for marriage and for desiring to share God’s wisdom with other husbands and wives

Use my husband and me to be a godly example of faith and marriage to our children.  Let us represent Christ and His church well by Your Spirit at work in us.  Let them see that we are united – and nothing can divide us.  Let them see a beautiful example in us that they will always carry with them in their hearts and that they can use as a template to build their own healthy, godly marriages and families upon one day.

Keep us all from temptation and evil.  Thank You that You are not done with any of us, but that You are making us more and more set apart for Your use.  Make us holy as You are holy.  Let us be one with You.  Let us be one with each other.  Let our marriage draw many people to Christ and honor You in every possible way!

In the Name and power of Christ,


"MY Man Doesn’t Deserve my Respect!!!!"

If this is how you feel about God’s concept of respecting your husband – YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! You know, probably just about every wife on the planet feels this way at some point in her marriage (or every day in some cases!) And it’s a legitimate statement that husbands don’t always deserve respect from their wives. There is no perfect man on earth. I won’t argue with that one lick! Husbands struggle just as much with the command of God to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. They also think, “You don’t know MY wife! No man on earth could love HER! She’s impossible to please! She’s impossible to understand! She HATES me and doesn’t respect me as a man.” And husbands are absolutely right, too! There is no wife who always deserves love. There is no perfect woman on earth either.

So we are at a terrible stalemate. It kind of sounds like marriage is a recipe for total disaster and torture. Husbands don’t always deserve respect. Wives don’t always deserve love. Men really aren’t made to give selfless love naturally. And women aren’t really designed to give respect naturally. We are all miserably sinful people. When two sinners are married, they will deeply wound one another, misunderstand each other, think the worst of one another, and may eventually declare an all out war on each other – destroying themselves and their children, but not knowing what else to do.


Husbands don’t deserve respect – but THEY NEED IT DESPERATELY!

Wives don’t deserve love – but THEY NEED IT DESPERATELY!

Sometimes when we as women least deserve our husbands’ love is when we most need it. Sometimes when men least deserve our respect as their wives is when it is most critical for us to give it.


God designed marriage. God gave us commands in marriage – and they aren’t random or extraneous. The commands God gave us are THE ONLY WAY that marriage works!

  • Sex is only for inside the marriage relationship – there is NEVER, EVER an exception.
  • A husband and wife must forsake every other relationship, including their parents, and cling to each other.
  • A husband must love his wife selflessly, putting her needs and interests ahead of his own.
  • A husband IS the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church.
  • A wife must respect her husband.
  • A wife must acknowledge her husband’s God-given authority and headship (leadership) in the marriage and family and cooperate voluntarily with his leadership (unless he asks her to do something wrong).

If we insist on going our own way, we will destroy our marriages and families with our own hands and words. We have much power in our marriages to build each other up and make our spouse’s life heaven, or to devastate and kill our relationship and experience spiritual/emotional/sexual death at our own hands. Doing things by our wisdom and what we or the world think is best or think is right is a guaranteed ticket to pain, loneliness, anger, bitterness, resentment, hatred and suffering for all involved.

If we follow all of these patterns in the way that God prescribes, we will experience marriage to the fullest sexually, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It is a process. It won’t happen overnight, necessarily. God’s way is narrow and hard to accept. His way is VERY UNPOPULAR. But God’s narrow, difficult path leads us to holiness and to the most joyful, peaceful, blessed marriage relationship possible between every husband and wife! IT DOESN’T WORK ANY OTHER WAY! God’s way is the only way that leads to real intimacy and a healthy, thriving, beautiful marriage. And His way is the only way that produces godly children and prepares our children for healthy marriages, themselves.

First we have to die to ourselves, our desires, our plans, our thoughts, our wisdom. We need the power of God’s Spirit at work in us. We must humble ourselves before God and seek His face, acknowledging that He knows much better than we do. I must be willing to examine MY OWN contribution to the marriage and I must be willing to repent of every sin on my end. I have to stop looking at my husband’s laundry list of sins and only look at mine. I have to give up my MASSIVE pride and thinking I know best. I must become a diligent student of God’s Word and of what God says my husband needs and not focus on my own needs. I can look to God to meet my needs, and trust Him that He is going to take me and my marriage somewhere beautiful beyond description if I will commit to yielding myself to Him. EVEN IF MY HUSBAND CHANGES NOTHING ABOUT HIMSELF – God will change me, my husband and our marriage and family even if I am the only one who starts out on the path of obedience to God’s Word. Our God is a God of miracles and wonders! He is the loving, all-knowing Creator of the Universe and Designer of marriage. He alone holds the keys to abundant life in marriage.

God is concerned much more with using marriage to make me holy and more Christ-like than He is about my happiness. This is not a popular message in our culture of wanting everything instantly and where our own happiness is ultimate goal. I must be willing to lay down every idol that I have put before God in my life: my pride, my dreams, my goals, my happiness, my wants, my feelings, my money, my career, my health, my resentment, my anger, my bitterness, my grudge-holding, my refusal to forgive, my critical spirit. I must be willing to give up all of that and stop cherishing those things in my heart. And I must be willing to FORGIVE my husband LAVISHLY just as in Christ, God forgave me – or I will not be forgiven myself! I must be willing to embrace humility. I must be willing to give up MY rights. I must be willing to look out for the best for my husband instead of only looking out for myself. I must be willing to be the more spiritually mature one. I must be willing to live out the example of Christ’s love for my husband WITHOUT NAGGING OR PREACHING AT HIM! As I Peter 3 says, I can win my husband “without a word” by the reverence and purity and behavior of my life.


To a woman, there is no more difficult command than NOT TO TALK to our husbands about our faith, God and the Bible when we think our husbands aren’t right with God. (Our insight into our husband’s exact location in his faith can be very faulty, by the way!) The amazing thing is – our behavior is MUCH MORE POWERFUL than our words to our men! Our words, lectures, sermons, preaching, nagging, etc… just push our men away from us AND from God! If my husband believes that I hold contempt for him as a man and don’t respect him spiritually at all, my attitude will likely force him away from God, never to return again. But when my husband sees me serving him and God joyfully without mentioning his faults at all, and he sees me cheerfully accepting his decisions even when I strongly disagree with him, and he sees me putting all my trust in God and in him to work things out for my best… he is going to be DUMBFOUNDED. He will be confused. He will be intrigued. He will marvel at the Holy Spirit working in me to empower me to be pleasant, smiling, friendly, kind, and to admire him in spite of his faults. His own faults will be clearer and clearer to him without my constant rambling about it. Eventually, and it may take many years, he will want what I have! God can use the godly, Spirit-filled, respectful, peaceful, joyful character of a wife to draw a man to Himself. But our silence is pretty important! Our words about God/faith/the Bible must die and leave a respectful, quiet space for our men to hear themselves think and to be able to hear God’s still, small voice.

Precious wife, I know the struggle and the terror of realizing that I was not obeying God about respecting and submitting to my husband. I hurt our marriage deeply with my lack of respect (that I didn’t even notice!) and by me taking over and controlling things that were not rightfully mine to control. I am not speaking from some platform of perfection. But the GREAT NEWS that I want to share with you is that if you are willing to move in faith to obey God in spite of your fears, God can take you to the same beautiful place He has brought me! YOU can be a joyful, peaceful woman with a gentle and quiet spirit that does not give way to fear. YOU can learn to respect your husband – no matter who he is! REALLY!! You can learn to follow your husband and trust God to lead you and your family through this imperfect, sinful man.

God does not ask us to follow our men into sin. He does not ask us to respect what is sinful or unworthy of respect in our men. He does not leave us alone to learn to follow our husbands – this is about my trust in MY BIG GOD. I am ultimately not trusting my husband to lead me, I am trusting God to lead me through the spiritual authority of my husband over me. I believe this is my biggest test of faith as a woman of God! Do I trust God enough to allow Him to lead me through my husband?

Look for things in your husband that you can respect. Talk about those things. Build him up with your words. Give up the criticism, nagging, complaining, whining, correcting, instructing and overwhelming avalanche of negativity – which looks like hatred and contempt to your guy. Smile at your man. Praise him whenever you see him doing something you admire. Look at him with real adoration in your eyes again. Step back and follow his leadership even if and especially when you don’t agree. See what happens. He’ll start taking his decision-making much more seriously. He’ll feel all the weight of responsibility on him, and he will likely seek your opinion. Watch him stand taller as he becomes more confident in his leadership abilities. Watch what God does with his career and with his abilities as a dad and as a husband. God intends to use our respect and admiration to shape our husbands into the godly men God wants them to be! WOW! See if God doesn’t do some MIND BLOWING MIRACLES in your marriage like He has in mine!


Help us to be willing to surrender to Your wisdom and Your plan. Help us to commit to obey You even when we don’t agree, can’t understand and are terrified. Give us the faith to live the way You want to. Cleanse us of our own hideous sin and make us godly wives who can bless, build up, encourage and bring joy to our husbands! Let us model godly femininity for our children. Let us model a godly marriage for our children. Empower us by Your Spirit! Let us find the grace, mercy and strength we need at the foot of the cross of Jesus to become the women of Your dreams! Use us to change our homes, our husbands and our nations to honor You and to restore stability, joy, peace and strength to marriages in our homes and in Your church across America and around the world! Let these precious women discover Your adventure for them. Give them courage to step out and follow You in faith! Use them to shine brightly for Christ and to change the world for Your glory – starting with each of our own marriages.


Prayer 2-15-2012


Thank You for the gift of this glorious day!  Help us to be still before You and lift up our heads to see Your holiness, Your power, Your sovereignty over the universe.  You alone are God!  There is no other.  You alone are worthy of our praise and worship.  You are the King of kings and Lord of lords!  You are our Refuge, our Strong Tower.  You spread Your wings over us to cover and protect us.  You are the Great Physician Who is able to heal all of our diseases.  You are the Lamb of God, Jesus, Who takes away the sins of the world!  You are the One Who designed us and Who alone can meet the deepest needs of our souls.  You  are the Creator.  You call each star by name.  You designed nature in all of Your wisdom and the world, the universe runs at Your command.  Day after day, creation pours forth speech, night after night all creation declares Your glory alone!

We praise and thank You for our health, strength, and life.  We thank You for Your precious Word.  We thank You for Your great Comforter – the Holy Spirit.  Thank You for opening the storehouses of heaven to provide for those who love and trust You.  We thank You for bringing us to faith in Christ.  Thank You that it all depends on You, not on us.  We are so sinful, wretched and dead on our own.  Raise us to the new life that You desire us to have in Jesus!  Thank You for the blessing of this new day.  Let us use our time wisely to praise You continually, to be thankful in all things, to listen carefully for Your voice.  Let us love You with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength!  Let us live lives of faith and love that honor You!  Let us set godly examples of faith, speech, character, marriage and attitude in front of our spouses, children, friends, coworkers, families and all those around us.  We praise and thank You for Your love!  Help us to see how enormous Your love is for us!  Our understanding is much too small.  Our field of vision only lets us see a tiny fraction of Your power and Who You really are.  Open our eyes!  Give us eyes to see and ears to hear Your Spirit!  Let us worship You in spirit and in truth and truly bless Your Name and bless Your heart with our worship, reverence, obedience and love for You!

Please, out of Your great kindness and mercy, show us our sin.  Convict us of every trace of sin and reveal to us every stronghold of Satan that is destroying us.  Give us godly sorrow to repent and to allow Your Spirit into our hearts to change us, to renew our minds by the power of Your Word.  Let us be still and pliable in Your holy hands.  Remove PRIDE, resentment, stubbornness, disobedience, greed, lust, malice, ungodliness, idolatry, self-worship, love of pleasure, apathy, violence, rage, impatience, selfishness, dishonesty, evil, irresponsibility, hatred, lack of love, un-forgiveness, disregard for Your Word, grieving Your Spirit…  All the good we are able to do on our own is nothing to You but bloody, filthy, dirty rags.  Apart from You we can do nothing, Jesus!  Keep us bound to You.  Let us remain in You that we can receive the nourishment and power of Your Spirit into our lives.  Make us useful to Your kingdom.  Continue to sanctify us and make us more and more like Christ.  We trust our lives and our spirits into Your hands.

Bring Your church and our nation to our knees in repentance.  We desperately need You, Jesus!  Our nation needs You!  Your church needs You!  We have been so rebellious, stubborn and steeped in sin.  Open our eyes to our spiritual poverty, our spiritual sickness – we are near death as a church and as a nation.  Revive us!  Cleanse us of our sin and restore us to the holy beauty that is fitting and proper for Your bride!  Let us each begin with repenting ourselves, and draw us to Your heart.  Let us forsake the world and all of its promises, comforts and pleasures.  Let us whole-heartedly seek You alone and Your will alone.

Give our church and government leaders Your wisdom to lead this large nation and Your church.  Keep them close to You!  Let them not fall to scandal and temptation!  Let them bring honor to Your Name and lead us in Your ways.  Keep our pastors, deacons, teachers, ministers and all those in authority in Your church pure, undefiled, uncontaminated by the world.  Let them set godly examples to us and to our children.  Never let them fall and expose Your Name to disgrace!  Give them strong marriages and keep them humbly seeking Your face, don’t let them fall to greedy, worldly desires!

Strengthen our men, husbands, and fathers!  We desperately need this generation of men to rise up and stand in the gap for Your church, their wives and children.  Create godly leaders and a massive godly army across the nation and Your church of our men.  Break them free from pornography, lust, greed, apathy, carnality and complacency!  Help them see with Your eyes the very real spiritual warfare that is being waged every moment against our nation, Your church, and their families.  Let them be men of faith, prayer and who know Your Word and use it well.  Let our men see how critical their leadership is and help them find the training and support they need to become the heroes for Christ that You designed them to be!  Give them supportive, encouraging, joyful wives who will pray along with them and empower their leadership at home and in Your church and in the world.  Use the men in Your church to snatch our children from the snares of Satan!!!  Use them to see where Your people have gone astray and to bring us back to Your narrow path that leads to life!   Give them courage to stand against the tide of our culture and to create homes based on Your design and order no matter what others may say is politically correct.  Let them courageously represent the love of Christ to their wives, children and other believers and the world.  Let our marriages and families be healthy, whole, godly and Spirit-filled and draw many to You!  Give our men wisdom to protect, provide for and guide us as wives, as families and as Your precious church!  Let this generation radically change the world for Christ!

Strengthen our women, wives and mothers!  Let this generation of women rise up to become a godly women who see clearly what is at stake in America, in Your church and in our families.    Let us get to work becoming the women You desire us to be even if the world cannot understand Your design and the beauty of marriage and family life the way that You prescribe it to be.  Let us do good towards our husbands and never harm them.  Let us build up our men with our words, attitudes and actions.  Let us remove every negative attitude and pride from our hearts and lips and only use our words to bless and edify those around us.  Remove gossip, criticism, bitterness, resentment, grudges from our souls.  Let us be humble before You and before our husbands and families.  Use us to continually pour out Your love and Spirit and healing words into our families.  Help us be able to be free to be with our children as much as they need us.  Cleanse us of the world’s messages about women, femininity, marriage and family.  Let us embrace Your wisdom, plan, purpose and roles joyfully and cheerfully.  Use us to change femininity in Your church and our nation and let us bring great glory to You!

Give us wisdom to raise our children in Your ways.  Let us teach them Your Word and Your wisdom carefully.  Use us to set godly examples for them.  Use us and our children to bring many people to Your Kingdom, Jesus!  Use to to protect them from evil and to equip them to know Your Word and to love You with all their hearts, minds, souls and strength.  Give our children godly friends and godly spouses.  Let us be found faithful that they might have healthy, godly marriages and families themselves in the future.  Keep them and us from being contaminated by the world!

Use us to boldly speak Your Word and to proclaim Christ to the world around us.  Let Your Spirit have free reign to work through us for Your Kingdom.  Open our eyes to each opportunity and let us be faithful and obedient to all You desire us to do today.  Use this group to change the world for Christ!

In the Name of Christ Jesus – we seek Your will not our own!


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