God opened my eyes to a lot of things I was unwittingly doing that sabotaged my relationship with Him and my marriage in December of 2008. I spent the next 3.5 years studying, praying, and reading over 30 books about what it meant to be a godly wife and woman.
I stopped demanding that God change Greg and began to humbly beg God to change me for the first time in my life.
I was serious about learning all I could and spent a good 20-30 hours per week begging God to change me, to show me, to help me understand, and to give me the ability to be the woman He called me to be.
I prayed for Him to transform me into the image of Christ. I pleaded with Him to help me make up for the 14+ years of our marriage when I was not the wonderful Christian wife I always thought I had been.
I just wanted the chance to try to make things up to Greg in whatever time we may have left on earth together.
It was an excruciatingly slow healing process. I had no mentor in person. It was just God, my journals, the books, and me. I learned to depend on God completely and to continue to persevere and seek after Him no matter how long it took, no matter what obstacles got in my way, and no matter if anyone else went with me or not. And the hardest part… whether Greg changed or not.
My only goal back then was for God to change me and heal my marriage on my end. And I wanted to be able to provide a godly example for my children.
In April of 2011, Greg told me two life-changing things.
- I feel safe with you again.
- I think you should share some of the things God has shown you with other wives.
I couldn’t believe it! God had healed my marriage! And more than that, He might even use my painful experiences and what I had learned to bless others. I never thought to ask for that!
I started writing things I was learning and sending them out by email to our Sunday School class that fall. And then on my personal FaceBook page.
In January 2012, two friends suggested that maybe I should start a blog.
The Blog Was Born
I had never blogged before. I had no idea how to start one. One friend suggested WordPress.
Greg helped me get started. He has been my faithful IT guy, my counselor, my sounding board, my primary masculine perspective source, and my biggest fan over all of these 8 years. I couldn’t have done it without him.
Even more importantly, God has been with me the whole way. He has been very patient with me as I had so much to learn the hard way.
In the first few years, I blogged just about every day. I was working part-time, just 12.5 hours per week. The kids were in school all day during the school year, so I had a lot of time to devote to my new ministry.
I met some amazing women and got to watch God work powerfully in quite a few lives and marriages. It was the greatest joy and blessing to walk beside women on this journey of spiritual healing and transformation!
The Lord Blessed Beyond Measure
That first year, I just wrote what I believed God desired me to write. Greg connected me with some other bloggers and we would often do guest posts for each other.
That year there were about 40,000 views, which blew my mind.
At first, I also emailed any women who wanted to email me. In addition to writing a blog every day. Eventually, it would have taken me about 12 hours per day to respond to emails, and I had to let go of that part, even though I didn’t want to stop!
The next year, this site had about a million views. For several years, the blog had over a million views, or even 1.5 million. Greg and I were in total awe of all that the Lord was doing. My extended family was also very supportive. Praying with me and helping me with the website maintenance.
I love the community we have here. Many of you became some of my dearest friends!
Some posts had a few hundred comments on them. It got to the point I could hardly keep up even though I really wanted to respond to every comment.
I eventually transitioned to one or two posts per week. I loved writing about things God had shown me in my own life and sharing other wives’ testimonies about what the Lord was doing in their lives. That just never gets old!
What started as just my own repentance and my desire to humble myself before God and allow Him to teach, transform, and heal me and my marriage became something infinitely bigger in His hands.
What an incredible blessing to get to see God open women’s eyes (and men’s, too) around the world and to watch him heal women, men, children, marriages, and families by His love, goodness, truth, and power!
My High School Dream
When I was in high school, I longed to be a “foreign missionary.” That meant a missionary who went to other countries to share the Gospel and make disciples for Jesus Christ.
Of course, back then, there was no internet. I could never have wrapped my head around the idea that one day I would sit in my living room in South Carolina and type something that could be seen around the world in moments.
For many years earlier in our marriage, I thought Greg was holding me back from all the big things God wanted me to do for His kingdom. I thought he needed to be a better leader. It turns out, it was my sin and disobedience to the Lord that was holding me back.
When I was willing to repent and humble myself before the Lord, He was able to lead me through Greg into lots of incredible ministry opportunities! Things I couldn’t have even imagined to pray for.
Quite a few people have come to Christ here and on my other sites, although I don’t have records or numbers of them. How I praise God! What an incredible answer to my prayers! And I have been overjoyed to watch so many women grow in Christlikeness, discipleship, and in their marriages.
I can’t wait to get to meet everyone in heaven that God brought here and see all that He did in their lives. What a day that will be!
When you are seeking to be in the center of God’s will and you are sharing the gospel and the power of Christ to heal and transform lives and marriages, trials and spiritual warfare come with the territory. It has been humbling!
But God is so very good and faithful!
He has been with us through it all and our marriage is stronger than ever thanks to His work in us. The Lord led me (through Greg and by His Spirit) through a lot of difficult situations over the past 8 years. And He has turned so many of those trials into opportunities for us to grow in our faith and to learn things we needed to learn. He has also used many of our trials to bless others, which is amazing!
He actually used all the years of me studying on my own and then me writing blogs and books on the topic of being a godly woman, wife, and mom to help prepare our family for the past year and a half, which has been the most difficult time of our lives.
And yet, He has answered more prayers and provided more miracles in the past year and a half than ever before!
I have shared about the deaths in our family, but there have been numerous other trials, too. Things that I can’t publicly write about. But I am so thankful! God has stood beside us in each of these difficulties, as well. And He will continue to be with us through everything that is to come.
I have had the incredible opportunity to put into practice the principles God had been teaching me over the past 11 years—more than ever—and to see the blessing that comes with doing things His way. There are no words! I am forever grateful.
Jesus Is the Main Thing
I don’t have all the answers for everyone. I don’t know what each wife should do in every possible situation. But I do know this…
Jesus does have the answers we need.
Not always the answers we want. But the answers we need and in the best timeframe. If only we will turn to Him in faith and trust!
When you put Jesus first in your life and you allow Him to be Lord and to have full control, He can give you divine power, wisdom, and abilities that you just can’t have on your own. And He can provide in ways you can’t imagine.
When you choose to do things His way, the only power you lose is the power to destroy others and yourself. You gain the power of heaven to pour His life, healing, wisdom, truth, and blessing into your relationships.
I’m so grateful that you have been part of this 8-year journey. What a blessing that we could visit together. So many of you have become dear friends to me. And the ones I don’t know yet, I’m sure we will get to be dear friends sometime in this life or in heaven, and I can’t wait!
May the Lord richly bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you.
Much love to each of you!
If you’d like to share how God used this blog in your life or what He has been doing in your life, we’d love to hear about it. <3