What Is on Your Heart?

Now that we are catching our breath in our family and things are calming down, I’d love to check on each of you! What issues are on your heart this summer? Are there any topics you’d like me to consider writing about? I want to hear about them in the comments. Let’s try to keep the topics general enough so that they could be relatable to quite a few ladies.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. I appreciate all of your love, patience, and support for me and our family over the past year as we have had so many trials. I’m so excited to see all that the Lord is about to do in each of our lives!

Much love to each of you!

75 thoughts to “What Is on Your Heart?”

    1. I second the angry husband topic! I struggle with knowing how I should respond in those heated moments. Sometimes he gets worse if I ask him to stop yelling or stay quiet myself, but I know it’s not right to dish it back to him. Is there a middle ground I’m missing?

  1. I’d love to hear, if such stories exist, of people who experience healing, grace and success after having failed at marriage more than once. Whether the cause of the failure was their own sin, woundedness, or it was the fault of their spouse, if such stories of redemption and second/third chances exist I would sure like to hear one.

    I would also love to hear about trust issues, esp. for women who experienced sexual abuse, esp. if their fathers were their abusers. I am sure that this has a lot to do with why some of us have such great trouble being married and trusting a man.

    1. I second that one. Plus I would love on how a woman can learn to trust men when her father was an adulterer. My father was an adulterer for years and I saw my mother suffer immensely because of that. It caused me to have great fear about relationships and trusting men. I’m now happily married but it was a long journey to get here. I had to learn to make Jesus my #1 man and my main source of love. Therefore even if my husband cheats, leaves me or passes away (God forbid), although I would be deeply wounded, I won’t fall apart completely because my life would be based on the Christ who would never leave me or forsake me. I can contribute to a post on this topic if you like.

      1. Nneka Simone,

        I was thinking as I was reading your comment that you are in a unique position to address this very issue. I’d love to work on something together on this important topic. No rush. But that would be amazing.

        Much love!

      1. Incognito,

        I believe Nina Roesner’s eCourse “Becoming a Woman of Strength and Dignity” may be a great first step toward healing for a woman in this situation. It will give women the spiritual foundation they need and the tools they need to recognize and deal with their own issues and their husband’s issues. 💜❤️💜

  2. How to handle a husband whose thoughts are consumed with work, the requests of other people and anything else besides what his priorities should be: God and us!

    1. on becoming peaceful,

      This is such an important topic!

      I have several posts already that may be a blessing:

      peaceful separated wife posts
      When Your Husband Says, “I’m Done!”
      Should You Strive to Keep Your Husband at ANY Cost?
      New Life Springs from a Painful Trial
      FreeinChrist Fights with Heavenly Weapons
      Finding Contentment in Christ Alone in Painful Trials
      Handling an Unwanted Divorce with Christlikeness
      Things Got Worse at First When I Began to Change – by The Restored Wife
      A Divorce and Reconciliation Story – by The Restored Wife

      Much love, dear sister! <3 I am praying for God's strength, comfort, healing, and blessing over you and your family. May He be greatly glorified through all that is about to happen. He can make this mess into something beautiful!

  3. Relationships with other couples, my husband does not want relationships with my friends husbands. He does not want to do couple things with his friends.

    Maintaining friendships with Christians and non-Christians.

    Judgement, Complaining, Criticism, Sarcasm, Negativity and Gossip. How to keep these out of your marriage and away from your children? How do I stay out and get out? What is there to talk about?

    Over Commitment, when is enough enough?

    Why doesn’t my husband talk about his job?

    Are we at the wrong church, should I leave my husband there?

    1. Hi Arlette,
      Those are all great ideas for topics. I can respond on how to avoid judgement, complaining, etc. A Christian elder advised me to listen to the Bible while sleeping. She advised me to download a Bible app to my phone called “NIV Live” and listen to it all night as I sleep. She said that listening to the Word of God is very powerful in terms of filling us with the Holy Spirit and driving out demons. When the Holy Spirit fills you, you will have no desire to be judgemental, critical or sarcastic at any time and will be filled with love and joy. You will then become an uplifting person who only talks about positive things.

    2. Arlette,

      Thank you for these ideas.

      Is your husband an introvert, would you say?

      I have some posts on some of these issues. You may search my search bar for things like:
      – complaining
      – critical spirit
      – criticism
      – insults
      – sarcasm
      – negativity
      – gossip
      – If I stop the negative words, what will I talk about?
      – 3 week fast from negative words
      – arguing

      With the overcommittment, are we talking about the wife or the husband?

      With the church thing, are there unbiblical things going on? Abuse, false teaching, sin, or anything seriously detrimental?

      Much love!

  4. I have another idea for a post.
    How to be strong in the face of persecution.

    -There are so many cases these days of children as young as ten years old being persecuted for standing against LGBT ideology.
    – All women who seek to respect their husbands and honour Christ face persecution from feminists.
    – All pro-lifers face persecution from abortion activists.
    – Women who get pregnant out of wedlock face persecution from abortion-activists and also Christians who are supposed to be pro-life and supportive of unmarried mothers.

    A post on this would be very useful on both this blog and the peacefulsinglegirls blog.

  5. I’d love to hear more about having husband with a chronic health issue. He’s at a point where it might be affecting his career, and he’s often very discouraged. For years I felt like I had the encouraging/praying/faithful thing figured out but I struggle with my own emotions more and more. He’s a wonderful man and has allowed God to use his health to grow him but at the end of the day… it’s hard. Thanks.

    I’d also be interested in another topic… when your husband has opinions about your appearance (hair and clothing only… he’s a wonderful guy and totally thinks I’m beautiful generally!). I could never have imagined that this would be hard when I was single and wanting to be married. I Imagined it would be a joy to dress for your husband, etc. However, I want to express my own sense of style differently, and I often think that “well, you thought I was cute when we were dating and I was making my own style/hair choices.” It’s not a HUGE issue for us but it triggers something for me that is actually a big emotion. I want to dress myself and have him think it’s beautiful, like an expression of my own femininity. His involvement feels less romantic. Thanks.

    1. I can read in my own writing some selfishness… but in all honesty the emotions are real. Appreciate your reply!

    2. Audra,

      Oh goodness, that sounds very hard! I hate to hear that your husband’s health is not well and that he feels so discouraged.

      But I am also thrilled to hear that he has a loving wife like you and that you have been and desire to continue to be so supportive,encouraging, and prayerful.

      If you would rather, you can send this answer to my Contact Me tab, but it would help me to know what emotions are the most difficult for you, so I might be able to address the issues if I am able to write a post on this important topic.

      Thank you, that is a great topic, too, about a wife’s appearance and her husband’s opinion.

      If you get a chance to send me a message on my contact page, I may like to ask a question or two about that issue, as well.

      Thanks so much!

  6. I have two more ideas for topics
    1). What is the right thing to do when a friend tells you that she is separating or divorcing her husband? Most people would prefer if I would just listen and show sympathy and support. In the past, I shared your book and posts with a friend and she said it only made her feel bad because she is so far away from being a peaceful, respectful, Holy Spirit-filled wife. She stopped reading the book and gave it back to me and continued down a destructive path in her marriage. After that experience, I’m more inclined to just listen and show sympathy when friends tell me that they are ending their marriages. I would love your insight on the best way to respond.

    2). How we can identify a false teacher and what to do when someone tries to pull us away from our Christian faith? How can we respond to a false teacher in a way that may inspire them to seek Christ? Or would it be best to just avoid a false teacher out of concern that they would lead me away from Christ.

    1. Nneka Simone,

      Are we talking about a professing Christian friend? If so, and if you know that the friend has sin in her life that is contributing to the separation or divorce, then I believe it would be wise to pray about what God may want you to respectfully share. It is not a gift to ignore sin and to not share a warning with a friend who is driving her marriage off of a cliff.

      Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Gal. 6:1

      My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, consider this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover over a multitude of sins.… James 5:19-20

      If she is not open to hearing from you, then you may simply want to listen and pray. There are even times when, if someone continues in unrepentant sin and won’t listen, that you may have to stop listening and say that you can’t help if she is not willing to repent of the sin on her end. But the Spirit can give you wisdom and promptings about what to do in each specific situation.

      If a husband is doing something awful, there are times to be sad, but supportive, of a necessary separation.

      With a false teacher, the biggest key is to be able to recognize them and avoid them. Scripture doesn’t say much about trying to reason with a false teacher or trying to win him over.

      Verses about false teachers

      Here are some great resources on this topic from http://www.gotquestions.org

        1. Hi April,
          Thanks for your guidance on dealing with false teachers. I wish I had known that before. It would have saved me a lot of fruitless and frustrating arguments.

          1. Nneka Simone,

            Yep. It is hard to break contact with people. I don’t like it!!!! But I have learned the hard way that God’s instructions to us are a gift. And yes, this saves us from being ensnared and deceived or led astray in some way.

  7. Thank you all so much for sharing. There are a lot of painful things going on, and I am joining with you in prayer over these tough situations. I hope to get to share some resources tomorrow that may be a blessing in some of the circumstances you are in. And I will pray over each idea and seek the Lord’s wisdom and leading about which topics to cover in some new posts. I appreciate your willingness to share your heart and am so thankful we can walk together on this journey. <3

  8. Dear sisters,

    For dealing with an angry husband, I have several resources I would like to share that I hope might be a blessing. Of course, each situation is a bit different. So most of all, we need the Holy Spirit’s leading and wisdom. He can prompt us to speak up or not to speak and what to say, many times, if we are tuned in to His leading.

    I love Nina Roesner’s eCourse, “Becoming a Woman of Strength and Dignity.” It helps women find their bearings spiritually and heal in Christ individually and then gives tools for how to respectfully address a husband’s anger, defensiveness, and other difficult issues. And once you finish the 11 week eCourse, you get access to a private email forum where other women share and you can support each other, led by trained moderators.


    Also, Nina has an article I like called, “Got an Angry Man?”


    Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas is a book that may be a blessing for wives with angry, difficult husbands, as well.

    Of course, if you are dealing with actual abuse, please seek out a godly counselor and get help. I don’t want to see any women or children in danger.

      1. Hi April! Still remember me?
        It’s been a long time since i visited here. I had 2 thousand plus unread topics that I missed thou 🙂

        Anyways i am still coping up to read some of your topics here, that I wanna share my testimony or comments as well. I missed everybody here especially to Ms. Satisfied Wife, I just wanna send my regards to her as well.

        Referring to the topic “What is respect in Marriage” which I fail to read 🙂 sorry. I wanted to contribute how I deal with my husband whom I considered my Ex-Husband though we are not legally separated. I considered him Ex hubby 🙂 because it’s been almost four years when we were separated. Despite all the struggles, pains, that I’ve been through I did not waste my time to revenge and indeed God worked in my silence.

        My Ex and his other woman did not worked out as well, they end up worse than I got from them. To cut the story short, I’ve been silent for three years, I did not bothered their lives while they were living together, I did not post any rants in my facebook account, while the other woman was very detailed on her story in her newsfeed as per info from our mutual friends. She posted the details on their personal struggles such as their arguments, issues. The woman was seeking sympathy from her facebook friends, yet she continued to haunt my ex :).

        If you only knew ladies how I struggle back then, now that my smile in face came back you couldn’t expect that I overcome it all. I did not file a case though it was almost there, yet I did not continue and allowing God to face my own battles. Nowadays? Me and my Ex husband were already in good terms, actually I totally forgave him. God did not allow me to hold on any grudges, he wanted me to live in peace, everyday he taught me how to forgive. That means though my ex broke my heart into pieces, God has been victorious that I should still respect our marriage, that I must still consider him as my husband, because in the eyes of the Law and especially in the eyes of God we are still married.

        Nowadays, I don’t have any remorse especially if my son and his half sister will go out together with their father, I met his little girl twice already and she was just an adorable little angel, because of her, I had forgiven the two people who hurt me. Currently my Ex wanted to reconcile, but my decision is I am already done, all I want is to reconcile the friendship that we had. Focus on our ministry, his music ministry, while my son is his successor, my son played drums in our church worship team, he was also part of the documentary team etc. all i want is to serve God and focus our relationship in him. Yet my husband is still you know courting me hehe… Anyways, I still had bunch of testimony for you ladies, these stuff are just some :)…

        But before I forgot I was thinking as well What is in my heart how about “when God worked on you that your husband became your Ex and currently your suitor?” 🙂 or shall we rephrase it “when God worked on you, that your spouse became your Ex and currently your suitor?” please do help me to rephrase it or contribute as well to make it one of the topic that Ms. April might transcribe then 🙂

        Thanks for the time reading my message here, and please do correct my grammar as well 🙂 straight from the Philippines 🙂


        1. Darl1982Dalr,

          Greetings from America, precious sister!

          I am so thankful you are growing in Christ. But whew! I really hate to hear that you had to experience your husband cheating on you. How I wish no spouse ever had to experience that. 🙁

          Thank you for not ranting on Facebook. Thank you for setting a godly example. Thank you for honoring your marriage vows. And praise God that He helped you and gave you the power to forgive.

          I’m also glad that you aren’t blindly trusting a man who broke your trust. Trust has to be earned back.

          It sounds like you have a powerful and beautiful testimony about what God has done in your life. How I pray your husband will seek and honor the Lord wholeheartedly and that He might be glorified greatly in each of your lives.

          Much love!

          1. Sis April!

            Greetings in the name of Lord Jesus Christ!

            Yes indeed everyday is always a new beginning of challenges, I always bear in my mind that “I might be weak today nor tomorrow, but I know one day I will be stronger enough than the previous days I fail myself. My daily quite time with God gives me strength as I always claim it in my daily living that APART FROM GOD I AM NOTHING! and today his revelation was from John 12:35….Walk while you have light, before darkness overtakes you. The world is enticing and I am not exempted with sinful acts, God never allow me to drown myself from darkness he broke my heart but I am convicted with the lyrics of the worship song HEAL MY HEART and MAKE IT CLEAN, OPEN UP TO THE THINGS UNSEEN…BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAK YOURS, so that’s why I don’t really complain :).

            And of course your site helped me a lot as well Sis April, God brought me in this site as one of my outlet, fellowship with sisters who undergone different struggles 🙂

            We know that those who contributed their stories in their lives, ministered as well to those who are in need of shoulder to lean on. We might far away to each other for thousand miles yet, it seemed that God allow us to meet here because of his Love for each of everyone.

            Thank u so much Sis April!, May God Bless you and your Family! as well as who are here in this site.

            Love Lots,
            Darl 🙂

    1. We appreciate you too dear April. Honestly I couldn’t think any topics off hand. You have done so many. Thank you and have a blessed weekend.

  9. Feeling invisible, unappreciated, overwhelmed, exhausted, lonely, and like a failure as both a wife and mother.
    I’m a SAHM and the pressure I feel to keep the house spotless, do all the childcare, lose weight, take care of my husband, etc… is just too much. It is impossible to do everything and no matter what I’m doing I feel judged for the things I cant get to. And then people say it’s my fault for not doing enough self care. Which is just another thing I can’t do right or enough or whatever.

    1. Kristy,

      Those are really good topics. I am so sorry you feel like this, though. 💔 Do you feel the most pressure from yourself, extended family, other people, or your husband, would you say?

  10. I struggle with making up my firm answer on if I want another kid. I struggle with patience with my two daughters. They drain me. I know my husband wants a son and wants to try one more time. I feel I left my comfort zone by agreeing to have our second kid. That was me giving in.. I wasn’t in a not good place for a long time. Just over the last two years I’m finally getting back to me. I really lost myself in becoming a mom! I’m just getting freedom back too. My youngest is 3. It’s also hard to say if I could handle another because my youngest demands a lot of me. She’s speech delayed. So there it’s lots of fits. It’s hard. She tries and I try… We are getting there slowly. We have been getting her help through the school. She started speech therapy in February and it ended for the summer in June. She’s going back around September 7th.
    I really struggling with patience. I snap at my kids a lot and I tend to yell too. I’m getting better, I’m working on it. I try to give myself alone time in my room to recharge and read. It seems to help. I’m with them ALL the time. I’m a homemaker. So I have never done daycare.
    I have both of your books. I recently started The Peaceful Mom, it’s helped me greatly. Thank you!

    1. Heather,

      That is an important decision. I certainly pray for wisdom for you and your husband as you navigate this issue and what would most honor and glorify Him and be best for your family. Children are such a blessing. They are also challenging, at times, too. I pray you may find greater clarity as you continue with The Peaceful Mom and continue to seek the Lord on this.

      1. Your books are really helping me! I can so relate to how you use to be with your kids. I’m similar with my husband too..
        I had a talk with him after I saw your video on being a peaceful wife. I asked him flat out, am I like that? Because I feel like I can be a bit pushy and push you for answers right away. He just stood there like a deer in headlights. Hah! His answer was written all over his face..but he verbally said maybe.. That’s when I decided to get both of your books.
        I’m really starting to realize how connecting with God does help. Making time for it is a must. It helps me let go and relax. It’s like it balances me. Thank you!

        1. Heather,

          Oh, wow!!! This is AWESOME! How I praise God for the good things He is doing in your life and heart. And in your family! That is so exciting!

          I wonder if you might consider allowing me to anonymously share this in a post on my blog and maybe on my PW FB? (No pressure! Totally up to you.)

          Hearing the testimonies of others is so powerful and inspiring. <3

          Thanks for sharing this with me. It made my day!

  11. I have another idea: respecting your husband when you are the primary breadwinner especially when that situation arises through no fault of his own, for example:
    – when he is from another country and hasn’t gotten a work permit yet.
    – when he has a chronic illness
    – when he is disabled
    – when he wasn’t able to finish his education due to family or health problems
    – when he has a learning disability
    – when he loses his job and can’t find another job no matter how hard he tries
    – when his family of origin is desperately poor and he has to give them the majority of his salary to care for their basic needs

    You may also consider a post on respecting a husband who is lazy and chooses not to work because that is a situation that affects many wives as well.

  12. Hey! Tips and tricks on how to handle the housework, namely when your husband doesn’t have the same cleaning standards as you. How do you “divvy” up housework? Does the wife do most of it? If so, what’s some advice on how to tackle that when you’re working full time and you also have a 1 year old? Thanks!

    1. Nicole,

      Most husbands and wives don’t have exactly the same standards. And most have different issues that are their pet peeves. Working full time and being a mom to a one year old is a LOT on your plate! Then adding housework to that can be a bit overwhelming. Of course, it has to be done.

      There are many aspects to this issue to consider.

      Does your husband help some? What do you do when he doesn’t clean to your standards? Does this issue cause tension or arguments?

      Here are some posts that may help:

      When Your Husband Wants Me to Do a Better Job of Cleaning the House.
      My Demon
      “How Satan Would Love to Destroy Your Marriage Through Your Thought Life”
      How to Ask Your Husband for Things Respectfully
      Playing the Martyr – video on my YouTube channel April Cassidy
      Overcoming Perfectionism
      What Is the Difference Between Complaining and Informing?
      What Is Respect in Marriage?

      The biggest things I have learned about this topic are:

      – I can ask respectfully for what I would like. Pleasant, friendly tone of voice and approach.
      – I need to be patient and not demand that he do what I want in the next 10 seconds. If I pressure him, it won’t go well.
      – Sometimes, I can let go of my standards a bit if no one is suffering because of things being a bit messy or dirty for awhile.
      – I don’t want to be the cleaning Nazi. I can remember that my marriage and children and how I treat my family members matters a lot more than how quickly or efficiently the dishes get cleaned.
      – I can extend grace to myself and my husband and children a lot.
      – I can pray about what I can realistically do and invite my husband (and children now) to help if he can and is willing. And the rest, I may need to let go.
      – If I can’t handle everything, I can talk with my husband about cutting back my work hours so that I can do a better job with the home.
      – Each couple decides how they want to divvy up the chores. My husband is willing to fold clothes sometimes while he watches TV. That’s awesome. I let him do it how he likes to do it and I don’t do much criticizing.
      – If I criticize everyone a lot when they help me, it is pretty demoralizing to other people. I want to show a lot of appreciation for any help I receive.

      Much love! GREAT TOPIC!

      1. Nicole,


        Of course, if you and your husband can fit it into your budget, it may make sense to hire a maid service, at least once a month. Or there may be a preteen or teen girl in your neighborhood who would love to work for you and help you around the house and be your “mother’s helper” a few nights per week.

  13. One question I have kind of relates to discerning when something is of God. I know some believe that God no longer speaks supernaturally through words of knowledge or prophecy. My belief is that there are situations where He sovereignly speaks or leads this way. However, how would one tell that whether the message is indeed coming from the Holy Spirit, or a Spirit of divination? I attended many charismatic churches over the years and one thing I noticed was that folks seemed to assume anything with a supernatural element MUST be God. Using the standards many used to determine if something was of God, the slave girl with the spirit of divination would have been accepted as a prophetess then.

    Thus the goofiest, most out there stuff passed muster. I think that’s one end of the spectrum and its incorrect. But I think the other end, that says God never speaks to us in a personal way is just as incorrect. I don’t believe God has anything new to say to us doctrinally, EVER. That is set down in scripture. I don’t think His character or His ways change either. I think He is a relational being who desires intimacy with us though what that looks like from His point of view may be different than what we hope for.

    However, I have noted that even when I asked pastors who believe this way also, how to tell the difference between something coming from a spirit of divination and the Holy Spirit , I got blank looks and a kind of deer in the headlights look and the question was just sidestepped as irrelevant. Arrrrggh. Not meaning to open a can of worms but it would seem to me that solid discernment is necessary and very very important. Who wants to be inadvertently admitting a familiar spirit or any other spirit into their life mistakenly thinking it is the Holy Spirit?

    1. SevenTimes,

      Yes, there do seem to be two extreme camps. And yes, I agree with you, the truth is probably a balance in the middle.

      The Bible instructs us to “test the spirits.” That is how we can tell if something is from the Lord or from the enemy. This is also why we are to “take our thoughts captive for Christ.”

      I completely agree that God won’t contradict the Bible when He speaks to us personally. I also know that God does speak today to those who are listening and who are aligned with His Spirit. It’s not usually audible, although I do know people who have heard an audible voice of God on occasion. Sometimes, it is more of that “still small voice” in our hearts that gives us a prompting or a thought that is something so clearly from Him and not from us. I have experienced that many times.

      First, I believe we must learn to resist the voice of the enemy and the flesh. Shoot them down and trash their ideas and temptations and choose to yield ourselves fully to the Lordship of Jesus. (James 4:7) Then we nourish our souls with His Word. We reject evil. We reject lies. And we decide to build our lives on His Word and truth alone. We receive His love. We praise and thank Him. We seek to be still and listen some during prayer.

      He can prompt us about what to do, what to say, what to avoid. He can give us fresh new insights into life and situations. And, of course, He speaks most of all through His Word to us.

      Great topic!

  14. Yes, how to respond to an angry husband. What to do when you’ve tried everything and no response seems to work. What to do when you’re willing to submit but authentic submission with a happy heart isn’t good enough. He actually wants you to hold the same beliefs as passionately as he does because he wants “unity.”

    1. Heidi,

      That is a tricky situation. Sometimes some men beleive that “submission” = “agreement.” Greg and I don’t find that definition of submission to be consistent with Scripture. But it is a popular one for some men.

      For dealing with an angry husband, I have several resources I would like to share that I hope might be a blessing. Of course, each situation is a bit different. So most of all, we need the Holy Spirit’s leading and wisdom. He can prompt us to speak up or not to speak and what to say, many times, if we are tuned in to His leading.

      I love Nina Roesner’s eCourse, “Becoming a Woman of Strength and Dignity.” It helps women find their bearings spiritually and heal in Christ individually and then gives tools for how to respectfully address a husband’s anger, defensiveness, and other difficult issues. And once you finish the 11 week eCourse, you get access to a private email forum where other women share and you can support each other, led by trained moderators. It is especially wonderful for women whose husbands are a bit on the controlling side.

      Also, Nina has an article I like called, “Got an Angry Man?”

      Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas is a book that may be a blessing for wives with angry, difficult husbands, as well.

      Of course, if you are dealing with actual abuse, please seek out a godly counselor (or any resources that you need) and get help in person. I don’t want to see anyone in danger.

      I also have a number of posts about what submission is and what it is not. My book, “The Peaceful Wife,” has an entire chapter devoted to this issue, as well.

      Biblical Submission
      Christian Submission, Is It Only for Wives?
      Biblical Submission Is Not Passivity
      Biblical Submission Does Not = The Husband Is Always Right
      My Husband Gets Angry When I Respectfully Disagree with Him
      Some Things God Has Shown Me about Conflict with My Headstrong Husband
      Does Being Biblically Submissive Mean I Can’t Say What I Feel and What I Need?
      Prayers for Wives with Critical, Harsh Husbands – by Radiant
      The Spiritual Healing available to Each of Us in Christ – by Radiant
      A Prayer to Change the Spiritual Atmosphere in Our Homes – by Radiant

      I hope these posts may be a blessing. Praying for God’s wisdom, direction, and healing for you both. <3

      1. Heidi,

        PS – probably not wise to throw all of these kinds of articles in his face or to approach him in a disrespectful or confrontational way about this issue.

        I would advise you to seek the Lord wholeheartedly yourself. Humbly invite God to show you anything He wants you to change in your life. Study, pray, read Scripture, and invite God to give you wisdom and the power of His Spirit. Invite God to transform you both to be more and more like Christ. Set a powerful, godly example, without lecturing, preaching, or nagging about spiritual things. God will need to change his heart. You can’t make him change his thinking. But you can allow God to change you and heal you and empower you. And you can invite God to work miracles in his heart and marriage, as well.

        If you are in any kind of abusive situation or danger, please reach out for appropriate help in person. <3

  15. How do you fully embrace that I am a child of Gods and that He loves me and knows my name? I want to so badly trust Him just don’t know how to all jump in. Seems there is something blocking me and I cant figure out what… ang bam.

  16. Well, I am going to bring up a topic I am sure will be controversial— what do you do when you want to divorce like crazy– but know you have no biblical reason to do so. Yes, I know the answer is— don’t do it! But HOW do you not do it? I feel like I have to basically stop feeling anything real. I love my husband, but we struggle in so many areas– sex, money, child-rearing, housekeeping, even the basics of how to argue with each other.. I am weary of the constant fighting. I am weary of the constant letdowns. It doesn’t matter how often he promises to change. In many big areas, I no longer have any hope that he will really change.
    I know divorce is a sin– but I am beginning to feel like a wolf caught in a leg trap, willing to bite off my own leg in order to survive. I feel like I am in danger of losing my faith whether I leave or stay, as I don’t know how much longer I can live in this level of emotional pain. The way I survive right now is to think of him as this room-mate I happen to live with.

    Please, please don’t write something condemning and harsh. I honestly don’t know how to do this any more.

    1. northernbeth,

      I have removed some of the details for your privacy and your husband’s privacy.

      I think that you may be dealing with some very significant issues, my precious sister. I would love to share some resources with you in private. Is the email you shared with here one that I can use to reach you?

      There IS hope for you. But you need some help. And soon!

      Much love!

  17. I really do appreciate what you are doing and how much you care for others. and that you allow discussion even if it does not agree 100% with what you espouse.

    I have just noticed how 1 Timothy 5:14 is written…” I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” —it does not say “god wills” or “ god commands. “ the apostle says that he wills…

    .and in 1 tim 5-13 he explains why…that they were causing drama from too much time on their hands. so he was giving strong advice for the situation at hand, not a direct command from God as in thus saith the Lord…even if it had been worded that way it was still for the problem at hand in that day and time.

    Wish I had seen that years ago instead of wasting so much time trying to be “submissive” to my husband —which was a dismal failure. Too many have taken that verse and added so much t it that has caused problems to the point of legalism in the lives of women. i.e. Gothardism.

    thanks for letting me comment here. Truth in scripture is so freeing.

    1. Susan’s Saddle Stands,

      You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing!

      There are some admonitions for women to be busy at home, not idols and busybodies. There were also some women who did work in Bible times, although it was much more rare then. Lydia was a “seller of purple” and a prominant woman in her town. She was one of the first to receive Christ and help support the gospel in her area.

      Some people interpret these passages to mean that all women must be at home raising children. Others believe that there is room for Christian women to work, as well, as long as they are honoring their husband’s leadership and are able to oversee their responsibilities at home.

      I, personally, work outside of the home in honor of my husband’s leadership.

      I don’t believe that a woman rightly submitting to her husband as God calls us to is a waste of time. It is, after all, a command. But I do think that there are a lot of definitions of what “submission” means, and that sometimes things get a bit carried away in unhealthy ways in one direction or the other.

      May each of us submit to the Lordship of Christ and may we have a cooperative spirit with our husbands, as is appropriate in the Lord’s eyes. May He give us the wisdom and discernment to live rightly in ways that bring glory to Him. And may He continue to purify our motives and empower us to live by His Spirit so that we bring joy to His heart and fruit for His kingdom. May we enjoy and live in the center of His will and calling for each of us. 💜❤️💜

      Much love!

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