Photo by Hannah Morgan on Unsplash
My sweet sisters, I’m so glad you are here with me today! Have I told you lately how precious each of you are to me and what a joy it is for me to get to share this time and fellowship together? I’m so thankful for you! You are in my prayers every day.
My goal with this post is to discuss biblical principles. It is really easy to veer into personal convictions.
I want to avoid that out of reverence for God’s instructions to us to keep our personal convictions private – in order that we may not create division and contention in the body. I want to honor the Word of God and not add man-made rules for anyone to follow.
So I am not going to dictate specific rules to other women:
- You have to only wear skirts/dresses.
- Your hemline has to be a specific number of inches.
- Your collar line has to be so many inches away from your collar bone.
- etc…
But what we can share together are things like:
- Biblical principles for modesty.
- Practical guidelines about choosing modest clothing.
- Resources and tips to find modest, affordable clothing.
The goal for us as believing women has to be real heart change. Once we understand God’s heart for us and for the body of Christ, we will want to dress in modest ways to please the Lord so that we show proper respect for:
- God
- our brothers and sisters in Christ
- the world
- our sexuality
- our marriage
- our husband
- the Word
What Does the Bible Say Dressing Modestly?
The biggest issue is our willingness to yield to the Lordship of Christ, to die to ourselves and our wisdom, and to live for the glory of God.
Let’s look at what the Bible actually says about modesty.
Pure Heart Motives:
- Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Prov. 31:30
- I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Rom. 12:1
- Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Cor. 6:19-20
- For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 1 Thess. 4:3-4
How to Dress, and What to Avoid:
- Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 1 Tim. 2:9-10
- Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Pet. 3:3-4
Avoiding Being a Snare and Temptress:
- “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!” Matt. 18:7
- Decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. Rom. 14:13
Now that we see God’s principles for us as women, that we are to dress in modest, respectable ways, that we are to avoid being extravagant, flashy, and pretentious, that we are not to draw attention to our bodies but rather to Jesus.
Our beauty is to come from our spiritual character and inner selves and the things we do, let’s prayerfully consider our closets. <3
Defining Immodesty and Modesty:
Immodesty is about drawing the eye of unavailable men (and maybe even women) to my body, my sexuality, and to thinking about lusting after me.
It is about how beautiful I am, how desirable I am, and about making my body look inviting and welcoming to other men in a sexual way.
It is about advertising my “wares” so that other men don’t have to guess very much about the shape of my body. It is about attracting attention to my particular form and curves.
My favorite definition of modesty is,
“Modesty is humility in clothing.”
Modesty is all about exalting God, not exalting self. It is all about bringing glory and attention to the Lord not to my appearance. It is about making Jesus, the gospel, holiness, chastity and purity the focus.
It is about covering my body in a way that draws the eye to Christ. It is about avoiding expensive hairstyles, jewelry, and clothing that would draw a lot of attention away from Christ.
It is about being beautiful in a spiritual way rather than a worldly way. Modesty is about looking feminine in ways that are wholesome and appropriate in public.
It is about advertising my faith in Christ rather than my skin or my curves. It is about showing my reverence for God, the gospel, others, and myself. It is about being content not being the most beautiful, attractive girl in the room.
Modesty is also an attitude that avoids acting in flirtatious, inappropriate, or vulgar ways. It is about conducting myself with integrity, purity, and sound speech.
It is about guarding my heart and my marriage. It is about avoiding the appearance of evil and seeking to treat my brothers (and sisters) in Christ with honor, respect, dignity, and holiness.
Principles of Modesty:
In order to assess whether a particular outfit is modest, here are some questions I may want to prayerfully ask myself:
- What are my motives when I wear this outfit?
- Will this outfit draw the eye of my brothers in Christ to my body or to the Lord?
- Does this clothing cover all of the important areas well?
- Even if I bend over, lean down, or reach up?
- If I have to sit in a chair, will someone be able to see up my skirt/shorts?
- Will I be doing activities that will cause private areas to be visible in this outfit?
- If there are buttons, does the material gape between the buttons?
- Am I likely to have a wardrobe malfunction in this clothing?
- Am I purposely or inadvertently encouraging men to focus on my body or sexuality because this outfit reveals too much skin or exposes the exact shape of my body?
- Is the neckline too low?
- Is my midriff exposed?
- Is the clothing too tight?
- Does this outfit draw the eye to my breasts, hips, or crotch?
- Is this clothing see-through in the right light?
- Are my undergarments showing?
- Is the hemline too short?
- What would my husband or dad (or another godly man I greatly respect) think about this outfit?
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What are some of your favorite ways to dress modestly?
Where are some affordable sources of modest clothing you have discovered?
What are some of your favorite stores and websites for modest clothing?