Skip to main content
Photo by Brady Bellini on Unsplash

The Spiritual Healing Available to Each of Us in Christ – by Radiant

A guest post by a Christian wife and mom who is in her mid forties now. She had received Christ as a 5 year old child and was raised in a Christian home. Her personality and marriage dynamics were rather the opposite of Greg’s and mine. In addition, Radiant was severely spiritually oppressed and physically chronically ill for many years until the Lord miraculously healed her spirit and body about 3 years ago. Her physical illness was so bad that she was almost an invalid many days and couldn’t take care of her children. Sometimes she couldn’t think, walk, or talk. She had severe “brain fog,” confusion, and depression. And then some strong prayer warriors who knew Jesus and His love and power surrounded her and prayed over her. She began to renounce the horrible lies she had believed about herself and God and began to receive good things from God, His Word, His creation, food, and her family. May this post be a great blessing to you today:

Dear friends,

As we come to Jesus today, we come wounded. The vast majority of us have been beaten up and robbed on this battlefield of life. Our joy and peace have been stolen. The crucial truths about Who He is and who we are in Him – stolen, plundered and destroyed in most of the Church for centuries and left in ruins.

Our true identity has been stolen – and much like Edmund when the White Witch tempted him with becoming a prince of Narnia through obedience to her – we have believed lies of the enemy, and slipped into a frozen, dark prison. Bound in fear. Starving for nourishment. Always thirsting. Unable to breathe. Hearts racing. Bearing heavy loads. Harassed and helpless, like sheep without a Shepherd. Thinking we walk in the light (we have the Word!) as we walk in darkness and despair. Expecting ourselves to meet every standard of God’s law in our own strength, and living in constant defeat and condemnation when we don’t.

If you are like I was for so many years, you might be angry at anyone who suggests there could be real hope.

We believe we have tried. We have prayed. We have had elders and family and our church pray. We have done everything possible that we know to do and been to every doctor and tried every oil and diet, researching things to death – and yet we are…

Still stuck.

Still sick.

Still alone.

We have felt like victims. Victims of others’ abuse, of marriage, of politics, of the medical community, of the school system, of the food supply, of the Church. Of our culture. Sometimes we feel like victims of God. We start to believe the best we could get for is for someone to understand our pain – that we have been abandoned by God, the Church, and hope.

But, what was Jesus’ response to the sick, beat up, paralyzed, blind, hungry, poor and dead? If you are ready – let’s start looking at what Jesus really said and did, rather than filtering His healing or deliverance through sermons we have heard, experiences we have or haven’t had, or our current theology.

  • Can we dare to ask Him to open our hearts to Him – the Lover of our souls?
  • Can we invite Him in to heal and free our bodies, minds, spirits, relationships, and hearts?

Our Jesus told of a man who was beat up, robbed, and left for dead on the road; and the Christ-like response was Someone who picked him up, wrapped His own clothes around the wounded man, bound up his wounds, poured salve on his cuts, carried him to a safe place of rest and healing. All paid for by the Christ-like one out of love and compassion.

  • The One whose Cleanness was so contagious, He could touch lepers and they would be made clean.
  • The One whose compassion always moved Him to heal every sick, lame blind, possessed or oppressed person who was brought to Him. Every. Single. One.
  • The One who sings over us and made us His beautiful Bride. He seated us in heavenly places with Him – and He holds us close to His heart.

He draws us into the Throne Room to dance with Him as galaxies spin around Him. He whispers to His shy Bride, “In My throne room, we dance!” He moves His Bride from the shadows of condemnation, to the Light of His love and grace. This is the One who loves us with all of His heart.

We were blind –but He wants us to see. We were dead, but He raised us with His resurrection power in Him. He has moved us from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light with Him. He has made us royalty with Him. He placed His Spirit inside us. We have His DNA! He gave us His name. He wants us to proclaim and declare His truth and good news and power over creation – that His Kingdom come and His will be done in every heart, home, marriage, child, neighborhood, church, dark place and nation as it is in heaven.

As we speak out His truth and promises in faith – He accomplishes it!

He and His angel armies are on the edge of their seats, waiting and watching for those of us who will dare to praise Jesus in our trials and speak His will and power and authority into the dark places. The power of life and blessing is in our tongues! He loves to answer!!

He is our Supply. He is our portion. Our inheritance. He is the Initiator who whispers His promises, love, and joy into our hearts – that we get to echo back to Him in faith. He is Good. He fights for us. And He loves us with a pure, holy and infinite love at all times. He does not leave us but holds us close.

No, I don’t understand everything about how suffering, sickness, disease and injuries work.

But as a former ICU and recovery room nurse who has been healed by Jesus of things man couldn’t touch – I see that things are not as clear-cut as I once believed. I can’t neatly divide the body into the digestive system or the nervous system as the obvious root of a problem.

  • I can’t divide life into merely physical versus merely spiritual.

There is no such division as secular or sacred. There are truly emotional, mental, spiritual and physical aspects tied up together in much of life. Things connect. People connect. There are root causes of things that sometimes go back into our history. Words and actions have power for blessing or cursing, for life or death. Jesus says “Choose Life!” “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.”

Jesus has shaken up my worldview. And I am so glad He has!! I see Him calling out to His Bride (His Church), who has been sick, frail, in tremendous pain, weak, wounded, plundered and left for dead.

He says over us, “Dead bones – (your own life, dead families, dead churches) – come together. Be joined and built together.” And there is a rattling sound happening now. Now. Today!

“Bones, be put back into a body with every connection and organ and cell in place working properly. Body of My Bride – be brought together and be made whole.” And the Bride is coming together, being healed and being united. She is being given the strength to stand on the Truth with Jesus.

“Breath of the Spirit – fill my Bride with Life! It is time. Now is the time for her to Live. Arise My Love! The grave no longer has a hold on you! It’s time to dance!! Sing to me as I sing over you, My beautiful one. Praise me and see what I am about to do! The bells of Freedom are ringing over you!”

Holy Spirit,

We invite You in. Open our cold and hard hearts and spirits to You. Help our unbelief. We invite You into our bodies, minds and hearts. Strengthen our spirits to be able to receive revelation of who You really are and Your great love for us.

Open the dusty drawers, dig up old rotting things in our closets. Cleanse, purge, prune us of all that is not of You. Reveal to us the places we are full of unbelief or pride, fear or doubt, anger or bitterness. Root it all out, Jesus. Plow up our hearts to be ready with good soil for all the seeds of Your Word You want to plant in us. Fruitful, beautiful things from You that need dead rotting things to be cast out.

Help us take up the weapons, tools and authority You have given us to take every thought captive for Christ. To reject all that is not of You. To receive everything that is of You, even if it is very different from how we are used to thinking. To the praise of Your glorious grace!


You are loved!


I Can’t Ask for Things. I Shouldn’t Have Needs Desires or Emotions

Being a Trophy Wife Is Not the Goal

Cinderella and the Gospel – about receiving the love and gift of Jesus for us with joy rather than rejecting Him with cynicism

Isn’t Loving or Respecting Myself Wrong and Selfish?

For a Wife with a Critical, Perfectionistic Husband


41 thoughts on “The Spiritual Healing Available to Each of Us in Christ – by Radiant

  1. This is beautifully encouraging and powerful truth you have written! Thank you, Radiant, for the reminder, of all we are and all we have in Jesus!

    -Heather (HisHelper)

  2. Hi there, I only have one request, could you make your reading daily supplements less long than it is?
    I receive daily other devotionals and they are much shorter than yours and help me to remember what I read. Sorry for that, It is just a request. Thank you and blessings to you.

  3. God’s love for us is so powerful. It is amazing what can be done if we would only surrender ALL to Him. Thank you and God bless you, Radiant, for sharing.

    1. Tonga Gibson,

      YES! I can’t begin to imagine what our lives, our families, our churches, our communities, our countries, and our world would look like if Christians were completely surrendered to the Lordship of Christ. That is what I want to see!

  4. This is powerful. We often feel we are not enough. Failures in many ways. It is good to be reminded we are complete in the Lord. We are His beloved. From a personal perspective, i find it impossible not to love someone who knows me that fully and loves me anyway!

    1. Happily gave up,
      It would be crazy to reject that kind of love, especially from Someone who is so completely good and incapable of any evil motives. It is true that we are not enough in ourselves, but Jesus is more than enough and He substitutes Himself in our place before the Lord. That is AMAZING!

  5. April
    I need to ask to be covered in prayer please. I’ve been sick for a month, haven’t slept well all that time, am losing more weight, have another health issue, started a new job, and have just possibly caused more damage to my marriage as I cracked at my husband in a situation where I was made to look stupid because he doesn’t talk to me about things going on in our lives. I told him he needs to start communicating to me as I’m his wife even though he doesn’t want me to be and that I don’t like to be made to look stupid and that if he wants to end this then go ahead as I can do nothing. I said some other stuff that I won’t say on here about my jealousy issue and I may have just put the nail in the coffin of our marriage. He was sleeping in another room while I was sick and hasn’t come back in and it looks like that will be permanent. I’m scared and sick. Please pray.

    1. Bel,

      Oh, no! My dear sister! It sounds like you have been really stressed. 🙁

      How is your walk with the Lord going right now? That is where your strength, wisdom, and power will come from. Have you had some time to lay everything before the Lord and invite Him to show you anything He wants to? Sometimes, a time of sickness can be Jesus whispering to draw us closer to Him. I wonder what things He may be speaking to you in these difficult weeks?

      We lift up Bel and her husband and family to You from which You rule the entire universe from Your throne in the highest heaven. We praise You and thank You for Your love for her and her family and that You are with her, holding her every step of this difficult journey. Lift up her chin so that she can see Your eyes blazing with love for her. Help her to lay down all of her fears before You and simply trust You to lead her and give her the light, wisdom, and power she needs for each day. She is Your sheep. You say that Your sheep hear Your voice. Help her to be still. Help her to rest at Your feet. Help Bel to not strive and freak out or try to do things in her own strength. Help her to rest in Your love. Help her to breathe and receive Your love and healing. Help her to know that if she has You, she truly has everything that matters.

      We pray for You to reach her husband for Your kingdom and that he might choose Your salvation and receive Your regeneration. And we pray most of all for Your glory. Thank You for Your promises – that You are able to bring much good and beauty from this mess. Help Bel to rise up above the storm and see that You are there and You are in every tomorrow, too. You know the way. She doesn’t have to be afraid. Help her to follow You wholeheartedly.


      1. Thank you for the prayer April.
        I’ve been spending time with God. Reading devotions and the bible. Praying a lot. Listening to Lauren Daigle cd in car. I’ve been crying out to him. It feels like things here have become worse. Theres really no communication or joking and teasing like there had been. He doesn’t ask about my new job. Didn’t ask how I was when I was sick. I’m really feeling sick about him leaving our room and not coming back to sleep. It seems like a real decline. I can’t help but feel this is the end coming. Surely he wouldn’t sleep elsewhere if it wasn’t. I tell God he is my only hope and I know I can do nothing. I feel like I don’t even know how to pray about this anymore. It really seems like Satan has won this one. Our anniversary is coming up again and it will be the 4th year it hasn’t been acknowledged. Do I give up? Face the fact? I’m not sure what God is trying to tell me. I can’t hear as usual. But I am clinging to Him and his word and promises. It’s all I have and all that gets me through. A couple weeks ago I was feeling very upset about it all again and one of my sisters had words with him. She said quite a few things to him and he told her he’s scared of getting hurt again and struggling with that. She said what did she do that was so bad? She didn’t have an affair or anything. Anyway. I’m so tired of being sad and in this pain. I had been doing better but at the moment I’m not. The pain of him bit being in our bed now is terrible. One pillow in a big bed. It hurts.

        1. Bel,

          I don’t know that him not sleeping in your room while you have been so sick necessarily means the end is coming. I am not sure if you have been coughing, but it may be that he is trying to be able to sleep or that he is trying to let you sleep better. That is generous of him to let you have the bedroom. You could thank him for his thoughtfulness about that. I vote not to make assumptions about what may happen. But to continue to trust in the Lord to lead you and for your own healing and that God might draw your husband to Himself. Your husband’s greatest need is not a healed marriage, but a saving relationship with Jesus and spiritual healing. And your greatest need is not a healed marriage, but spiritual healing in Christ.

          Right now, your husband is acting the way people act when they don’t have the Lord. He is not acting like Jesus because he doesn’t have Jesus on the throne of his heart. But you have the ability to have the power of Jesus so that you act in His strength and His character. God can use you to influence your husband. But ultimately, your husband’s choices are up to him and are between himself and the Lord. You don’t have to try to take the weight of his decisions on your soul or take things personally when he is not loving. You can choose to receive ALL of the good things Jesus has already provided for you and let Him pour into you and fill you up to overflowing. Yes, this situation is difficult, but you don’t have to fall apart. You don’t have to despair. You can be sad. You can grieve when you need to. But you can also have so much hope in Jesus and anticipation about all that He will do in your life and all that He may do in your husband’s life.

          YES, Satan is going after you! He would love to discourage you and get you focusing on your current situation, the waves of the storm, and the things your husband says and does that could trigger fear in your heart. Don’t take the bait! Don’t fall for his schemes anymore. You have been held captive by his lies for way too many days of your life already, my precious sister. Reject every single lie of the enemy and all of those tempting thoughts he wants to use to get you to be afraid, depressed, and discouraged. If you are in Christ, no one can steal the peace and joy you have in Him. Not Satan. And not your husband.

          I have a post about that particular anniversary issue. When things are this strained, I vote not to acknowledge it – but to be the woman the Lord calls you to be. Be filled with God’s Spirit, peace, and joy. Be friendly. Be receptive if he wants to celebrate or acknowledge the day. But your worth does not depend on your husband’s efforts to acknowledge that day. Your worth is in Jesus. Your hope is in Him alone. You can focus on praising God and focus on things to be thankful for that day and be content in the Lord. You can look for ways to bless your husband that he can receive. Not to make you feel more loved, but to bless him, if you know he might like something. If you know he would be annoyed if you did something for him, or you would resent him if you do something and he doesn’t do something for you, you don’t have to do anything special. It is okay.

          I’m so thankful you are clinging to the Lord and His Word and promises. That is awesome.

          One of my prayers for you is that you might have new eyes to see your husband’s perspective. I’m so glad you didn’t have an affair or some “big” sin. But I also know that there are a lot of other things that can hurt people’s hearts, not just the big obvious things. For our men – when we are depressed, upset, negative, fearful, clingy, needy, disrespectful, or we idolize them – it can be suffocating and smothering. It can repel them.

          This is not the end. Your story is not over. The last chapter has not been written.

          Right now, I hear you speaking a lot of “words of death” to yourself and over this marriage. I am not sure what you are saying to him out loud. But today would be a great day to decide to change your approach – your self talk, the things you say about the marriage, the things you say to him (if you have been negative).

          How often are you smiling? How often are you enjoying the good things?

          As you focus on allowing God to transform you – you will become a safer place for your husband. He may feel more attracted to you, in time, rather than repelled. But whether he returns or not, you can be completely filled up and content in Jesus.

          This may be a slow process. VERY slow. That may have to be okay. Receive anything the Lord has for you in this time, my precious sister. He has tons of treasures and blessings for you as you look to HIm.

          Much love to you!

          1. April
            Yes I was sick and it made sense for him to sleep elsewhere for a while. However I’m now better and there’s no need for him to stay there. But he’s not coming back in our room. So that is why I’m so upset. It certainly seems like a bad sign to me. I want to ask him why he’s staying out but don’t know if it’s a bad idea. But it’s extremely hard not to let this upset me.
            I want to say that I am doing better with all this than I had been. I’m very hurt and scared and upset but I’m carrying on. I’m not spending days in bed in despair. I do have hope because i have God on my side. But I do worry that there’s still a high chance this whole thing won’t work out so my hope may well be dashed. So then I wonder if I should have hope at all. It’s just so confusing. He has been saying some quite hurtful things again lately about that people shouldn’t marry too young because “look where that got YOU”. And that our family is over as we have kids ready to leave home soon. I said our family is not over. Family is forever. But he seems to think about that differently. It’s just so sad. So I do absolutely see that he needs God more than he needs marriage restoration and I love him enough that I want that for him. But if I’m honest I still want both. And I know that it would not be Gods will for another marriage to end. So I have hope that I just need to be patient and let God teach me whatever it is I need to learn. I just wish it would happen quicker. It’s so painful. I pray for myself to be teachable. To understand.
            I had a big talk to my pastor a couple weeks ago and he just kept shaking his head. He said that maybe God is waiting for US to do something. He would like to speak to my husbamd again and give him a few warnings about the wrong ways he’s thinking and speaking. He said it’s the loving thing to do. I’m aware that this could push him right out the door though so I’ve asked my pastor not to speak. Yet. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now and praying about it but I’m not hearing or feeling anything. It’s always on my mind and even the bible says to take one or two with and if the person listens then they have won him over. So I see that it is maybe the right thing to do. I’m just scared that it may go the way I dont want it to. So I wonder if it’s my fear holding things back here. But then you say to be still before God and let Him do the work.
            I get what you are saying about speaking words of death about my marriage. I definitely have been lately. It’s been a rough month or so. As I said before though. I’m worried speaking words of life will get my hopes up that things will work out and they may not. I’m worried if he hears me speaking positively about our lives that he will try even harder to bring me down. He’s done that in the past. And even admitted to it. He said if he’s too nice to me I might wrongly think that things are going to be ok and they aren’t. So I try not to look too happy or positive. I know that sounds crazy. But this is a crazy situation.
            I don’t smile a lot. There’s not that much to smile at. Plus I don’t have a pretty smile. I hate it. I do enjoy the good things. I am happy and make people laugh, him included. I can be fun to be around and I try to be whenever I can. But again it makes me worry he’ll be extra mean afterwards just to bring me back to reality.
            Does speaking positively even just to myself really help?
            I so want to have joy and contentment no matter what happens. I pray hard for it. But nothing changes the fact that this is very very sad and I dont want my family to be broken.

          2. Bel,

            I’m really glad that you are reaching out. I know that things feel really confusing and that it is frustrating to feel that you can’t hear God’s direction and voice. My prayer is that the Lord might shine a whole lot of light on your situation, maybe even through my words, that make things much more clear. Things actually don’t look muddled and confusing to me, at all, in your particular situation at this moment. In fact, God gave me an illustration to share with you while I was at church today. I pray that everything I share might be of Him and that He may give you the ability to hear and receive all that He wants to tell you. 🙂

            Right now, it is like you and your husband were riding in a car and went over the edge down a steep embankment – this represents where your marriage is right now. Your car has wrecked. It is a long way back up to the safety of the road where you are supposed to be (God’s design for marriage). You have both been significantly injured. The car is not in a safe place, in fact, it is very precariously perched, and poised to fall from a great height at the slightest disturbance. You can’t save yourself. Your husband can’t save himself. You can’t save each other. The more you try to scramble to do anything, the more the car lurches back and forth like it is about to fall – which, of course, is terrifying. Right now, the best you can hope for, in your own power, is that the car doesn’t fall any further and that you both stay where you are in total misery. But that, obviously, is not a long-term solution.

            Jesus is standing there ready to save you both. But the way you have to be saved is to be willing to trust Jesus to pull you each out independently from each other. Let Him pull you out of the wreckage. Let Him give you the spiritual and emotional healing you need. Let Him get you on a stretcher and to a hospital bed where He can be your Great Physician and oversee your healing. Trust that He will reach in for your husband and let your husband make his own decision about whether he will receive the help and salvation Jesus offers to him in whatever time frame that needs to be.

            There are some tough decisions that you have to make. They are not easy. I do not minimize them at all. But I can point you to the path that will lead – guaranteed – to your own spiritual and emotional healing, to your own sanity, and your own peace, joy, and fulfillment in Jesus. If your husband is going to be healed and if your marriage is going to be healed, I can’t guarantee those things, but it will also be as you choose this path that is first about your own walk with Christ and your own healing.

            You will have to get to the point where you are willing to trust and rest in Christ even if your worst fears were to happen.

            The longer you continue to put that off, the more drawn out and painful this whole thing will continue to be. Your security cannot be about whether your husband stays or what he does or says. Your security and identity have to be totally about Jesus. If you remember Humbled Husband’s story, his life was like a sinking iceberg. Everything he trusted in – his marriage and his wife, was sinking. He had to step completely into the boat with Jesus and begin to trust Him alone. We each have to do this with the things to which we want to cling in this world. I had to lay all my fears and desires at Jesus’ feet, too. Not knowing what the outcome would be. It is scary, until you realize who Jesus is and what He can do. Then you realize that NOT trusting Him was the biggest mistake ever.

            You will begin to experience His supernatural healing and peace once you decide that you are going to trust and obey Jesus no matter what and once you receive the great news that Jesus will help you and sustain you even if your husband leaves. Right now, you are giving your husband tons of power over your life because you are basing your wellbeing on what he does and what he says. Jesus can meet your needs and give you Abundant Life whether your husband stays or whether he leaves.

            It would be great if your marriage could be healed, and I believe it is possible for it to be healed in time through Jesus. But that is a dream that you will need to be able to lay completely down if you want the healing that Jesus offers to you. If you won’t lay it down, you will destroy your dream, as you can see has been happening. If you do lay it down, you make a way for Jesus to do miracles. But He has bigger issues He wants to deal with than the marriage first. Your heart. Your relationship with Him. Your spiritual healing. First, put your eyes completely on Jesus and what He wants to do in you. This is all ultimately about you and Jesus.

            “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matt. 10:37-39

            Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25-27

            If you won’t let go of your husband emotionally and spiritually, and entrust him totally to Jesus, you can’t be healed and your husband will have a much harder time coming to Christ and hearing His voice.

            As you lay down all – every single one – of your dreams, desires, and fears, He will begin to heal you. And He will then give you the power to hear His voice because you are actually trusting Him and putting your faith in Him. He will also give you the wisdom and power you need to take each step after this.

            Sometimes things get so toxic that separation can be necessary for individuals to be healed. And individuals have to be healed before the marriage can be healed. I don’t know what will happen with the marriage in the future. But I do know that if your marriage is going to be healed, it will only be if you are willing to release control, fear, and your dreams to the Lord and trust that He will lead you and do what is best for you even though you don’t know what will happen or how He will accomplish something good yet.

            Your hope can’t be in your marriage. It can’t be in your husband. It has to be in Jesus, His truth, His character, His promises, His sovereignty over your life, and His love for you. Decide in your heart that if your husband decides to leave, you will be okay because you have Jesus. It would hurt if he leaves. Yes. It would be sad. But your wellbeing is not dependent on any human or his decisions. Your wellbeing has to be dependent on Jesus alone.

            If you are trying to have hope only in your marriage being saved and restored ASAP, yes, you will be disappointed.

            If you want to know and love Jesus and yield completely to Him and seek His greatest glory in your life and you can completely entrust your husband and marriage to Him, no matter what happens and no matter how long it takes (even if your husband never returns), then your hope is on the Rock of Christ.

            God does love marriage, but His goal is not to save marriages at any cost. He loves individuals more than marriage. There are some prices that are too high to pay to save a marriage. If you have to idolize your husband, avoid necessary and important conflict just to keep him there, give up your personhood, give up your God-given influence, tolerate significant unrepentant sin against you without saying anything, do anything to try to keep your husband (including things that dishonor the Lord), or put him or the marriage on the throne of your life instead of or beside Jesus – the price of trying to hold the marriage together may be too high.

            God does give Christian spouses instruction in a situation like yours, you are not left in the dark. It is found in I Cor. 7:10,11,15

            To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife…. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

            If he says he wants to leave – okay. Respect his decision. Don’t fight him. Allow him to have his God-given free will. I am pretty sure your husband knows that you want to save the marriage. He says he wants a divorce. I suggest, don’t try to convince him to stay. Don’t destroy yourself to get him to stay. If he is not there willingly, let him go. It may be that in that time he has to himself, he will then begin to hear God’s voice. And it also may be that the growth God wants to produce in your life may require some time apart from your husband.

            Check out FreeinChrist’s story here. God has completely changed her and led her from fear, despair, depression, and hopelessness to godly power, being Spirit-filled, great faith, great peace and joy in Christ – even though her husband is still divorcing her. Her hope is now firmly in Jesus alone and she is doing awesome! I know He can heal you that way, too.

            Much love!

          3. Bel,


            Speaking Life is not about speaking falsehood or just “positive” or “wishful thinking.” It is about getting rid of any lies from Satan that you are repeating in your mind and thoughts and in your words. It is about taking your thoughts captive for Christ and purposely aligning your thoughts and words with the truth of Scripture.

            So it is not really about your marriage being instantly healed. It is about receiving God’s promises to you about your own soul. It is about seeing your husband with God’s eyes and His heart. It is about not allowing the enemy to rob you of God’s promises and provision to you the way you have been doing. It is about guarding your heart and mind from Satan’s attacks. It is about speaking God’s truth over yourself about your identity in Christ and God’s love for you and for your husband. You may not be able to speak positive things to him out loud. But you can avoid saying negative things that are motivated by fear, “I’m sure you want to leave me, I’m sure it is just a matter of time.”

            You don’t have to be motivated by fear anymore! That is the beauty and freedom that comes from laying down all of your fears and dreams and completely trusting Jesus with them all.

            And my goodness, you purposely don’t smile! That breaks my heart! Please don’t you ever let anyone steal the blessings and spiritual wealth you have in Jesus, dear sister! Satan no longer has authority over your life when you are fully yielded to the Lordship of Christ. You get to have all of the fruit of the Spirit and the power of the Spirit. You don’t have to walk around looking sad and depressed. You have eternal life and you have abundant life now – once you realize how to access it because you are trusting God and laying down your fears and desires to Him. You have allowed Satan to rob you for so long of all that is yours as a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords. How I pray that ends today!

            You can respectfully let him know he is free to go if that is what he wants to do. You still have hope. Not in the marriage – but in Jesus. You will be more than fine because Jesus is more than enough even if your husband never comes back. If he does return, then you will rejoice and rebuild the marriage in a new way on Jesus and His wisdom.

            You can have praise songs in your heart. You can be full of thanksgiving to the Lord for His blessings even in a storm.

            Much love and the biggest hug to you!

          4. Examples of speaking death to myself or my marriage:

            – My marriage is doomed.
            – I’m so terrified my husband will leave.
            – The worst thing that could possibly happen would be for my husband to divorce me.
            – I couldn’t survive a divorce.
            – My life would be over if my husband left me.
            – The only way my life has value or hope is if my husband stays and never leaves me.
            – I have to have my husband in my life – or I can’t go on.
            – I have to be hopeless and depressed. I have nothing to live for.
            – No one loves me. I am worthless.

            Ways I can speak life to myself and my marriage:

            – Lord, You created marriage. Your design is very good. Our marriage needs Your healing. Whether that means we stay together and You work on us or we need to be apart, I receive Your help and healing for us.
            – Help me to better understand what it means to be a godly wife.
            – Help me see how I can be a blessing to my husband even now in ways that are meaningful to him.
            – Help me to see the ways I have hurt my husband and the things You desire me to change.
            – Our marriage is hurting very much, but I lay this marriage into Your capable hands, Lord. I can’t fix it. My husband can’t fix it. But you can make something beautiful. I release my marriage and husband into Your care and Your timing.
            – Let me be the wife you want me to be. Change me. Transform me by Your power for Your glory.
            – Create in me that beautiful, feminine peaceful, gentle spirit that does what is right and does not give way to hysterical fear.
            – You have not given me a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love, and a sound mind!
            – I receive all that You have provided for me on the cross and all of my inheritance with Christ. Help me to allow Your Spirit full access and control so I can experience more and more of Your Life for me.
            – I will be content in You because You are the Greatest Treasure in the universe. Help me to see that more and more.
            – Help me to desire only You and only Your will.
            – Change my desires to match Yours.
            – Let my tone of voice, facial expressions, and words be a blessing to my husband and children. Let my character point them to You.
            – Show me any lies that are destroying me and help me to tear them out and rebuild on Your truth alone.
            – You love me more than I can fathom. You love my husband and children more than I can fathom. I receive the good things You have for all of us.
            – I invite Your Spirit to fill this home and this family – draw each one to Yourself. I can’t open spiritually dead eyes or heal dead hearts. But You can! I praise You and thank You for all You will do in my husband’s life to heal him and to bring him into Your kingdom as You see fit.
            – Destroy Satan’s plans for this family. Let Your will and Your kingdom reign here.
            – Satan has no authority here. I invite the authority of Jesus to bring healing and salvation to this house!
            – I will sing Your praises here every day for the rest of my life. You are good. You have good plans for us. I don’t know exactly what they are. But I trust You completely. (Help me tear out any unbelief or lack of faith.)
            – Cleanse me of any sin that grieves your heart. I am Your child and You allow Your children to hear Your voice. I receive that Your Word is true and that I can hear Your voice because I submit myself fully to You from this moment on.
            – No matter what may happen, change me. Draw me to Your heart. Create a clean heart in me. Transform my heart, mind, and soul. Let me love You far more than anything or anyone in this world. Let me see Your eternal perspective.
            – My circumstances are difficult, but You are much greater than my circumstances. Direct my life to whatever course You know is best and whatever will bring Your Name the most honor.
            – I have worth because You created me and You love me.
            – You moved heaven and earth to come for me and to save me. THANK YOU!
            – My sins are forgiven and removed as far as the east is from the west!
            – You love my husband and desire him to be saved. Draw him to Yourself by Your Spirit’s power.

            Much love!

          5. Bel,

            We had a Night of Praise at our church yesterday. Song after song was about Jesus breaking our chains and setting us free. I sensed very strongly in my heart that this message was for you. That Jesus is more than ready to break the old chains that are binding you. I love you dearly and am praying fervently for you, your husband, and your family.

            Much love!

  6. April.
    Thank you so much. I’m so grateful and just still so amazed at a stranger (though you dont seem like one) cares so much for me to pray when I’m sure you have so much to pray for yourself and your loved ones. I so want everything old to be broken in me and made new. I often pray that. To be made new as I dont like the old me at all. I made so many mistakes and hurt my husband even though I didn’t realize it.
    It’s weird because of the list of examples about speaking death, I really only say the first and second ones. That my marriage is doomed and that I’m so scared he will leave. I KNOW that a divorce is not the worst thing that could happen. You don’t need to look far to see the terrible things that happen around the world to people and children. I know my life won’t be over. I know I could go on and that Jesus will be with me. My head honestly know all these things. I just know it will be so sad.
    And of the examples of speaking life you gave, I already think and pray most all of them. Just today on the way to work I was telling Him that I clearly see and understand that this life is so short and that if I die today or next week or whenever, that none of this will matter. Only Him and my salvation matter. So that’s what I want to focus on. I was in tears. I know I meant it and I know He knew I meant it because it’s not a lie. But I admit my prayers are sometimes not said completely confidently or free of fear. Absolute surrender (book) says to pray it anyway. So what am I doing wrong? What’s holding me back?
    My fear is not as intense as it used to be. I have days and moments where my emotions are very strong when I think of the mess I’m in and my part in it. But that seems normal from what people write here. More often than not I have the attitude and thoughts that I can do absolutely nothing to help or change this. Only God can. And He is on my side.
    I’m not even sure I idolize him like I used to. I feel he doesn’t deserve my love and commitment to him after how he’s treated me. I’m sometimes repulsed by his talk, attitude and behaviour. But I see him as sick too and in great need of Jesus. My vows and commitment aren’t going to change just because he wants to end this. I know I’m still called to hold up my end of the bargain and who knows, it may even help him somehow. As his wife, my prayers for him may just help. I’m not gonna sin in this way towards my spouse just because he’s made this decision.
    My hope IS in Jesus. I do try to take my negative thoughts captive. I repeat bible verses in my head to counter them. But when you are almost daily hurt by his coldness or mean words, it’s a constant battle.
    When I write to you I’m usually in a real struggle phase. I’m not like that all the time. But there’s lots going in here that’s causing me lack of sleep and stress due to decisions I have to make. But I do keep in my head proverbs 16:9.
    So I do ask Him to take all my hopes and dreams and marriage and husband and take control. I have no control anyway. I’m at the point of throwing my hands up in the air if you know what I mean. I’m over it all. Tired. So I don’t understand where I’m going wrong. It’s the same thing over and over with me. I feel like I am willing to trust it all to God and rest in Him. I certainly dont trust myself. I’m absolutely comforted and relieved whenever I’m in despair when I think that God is with me and of His promises to me and how much He loves me, which I can’t quite fathom. So I don’t understand. I pray for pure motives, a clean heart and to show me of any sin I’m not aware of. I’m stumped.
    I prayed for you too April.

    1. Bel,

      Wow, this sounds like things have been going so much better. That is awesome!

      Fear is something we have to hash through. And when new things come up, we have to hash through them, too. But as you continue to seek to lay down your fears and trust God, totally yielding to Him and trusting Him – He will help you continue to grow.

      Your husband definitely has his own issues to own, too. And yes, he is spiritually sick and in great need of Jesus.

      You can absolutely honor your end of your marriage vow even if he wants to leave. That doesn’t mean you do absolutely anything to keep him. You can let him leave respectfully if that is what he really wants. But you can continue to be a godly wife on your side of things and you can pray for God to work in his life.

      And yes, it is a challenge to continually face someone sinning against you and trying to hurt you.

      I only know the things you share with me – so if you only share when you are really struggling, I don’t get the whole picture. I’m glad you shared this last comment. That is so encouraging!

      Much love to you!


      1. April
        You’re right. And I’m so grateful. I dint have much time right now to write but i guess when I said I mainly write to you when I’m struggling it’s because I need encouragement. My good days and bad days come and go. there days I want to give up. And days where I want to persevere.
        When you said fear is something we have to hash through whenever it comes up, is it normal to have that often? Like at the moment with the separate beds, each night I go to sleep and it’s real lonely and when I wake up and look over and it’s bare, i get a hollow dropping feeling in my tummy. It’s awful. How do I cope with this? My fear says it’s a sign he preparing me for life without him. I want to know if I should ask him about it. Why he’s staying out and if it’s permanent. Should I? Or am I supposed to just sit with that fear and let it go? It’s very hard. This is a new thing. It’s different to all the other ways I’m used to, or expecting to feel hurt by him. I’m not sure how to handle it. Saying nothing and trying to be happy makes me think he will think I’m fine with it. But I’m not.
        Thank you again for thinking of me and praying for us.

        1. Bel,

          I vote to not ask him about if he is leaving. It is hard to live in uncertainty. It is very easy to get swept away with fear and worry. But this is where taking your thoughts captive for Christ is so important. Satan would love for you to run crazy with all of these fears. But your husband not being in bed with you may not mean he is leaving.

          What you can do is respectfully, in a friendly way, be sure he knows he is welcome in your bed. But I suggest to maybe just say that once in passing – and then let it go and let him marinate on it. No need to get promises or guarantees or to try to interrogate him about his plans.

          This is not comfortable. But resting in the love and provision of God in the midst of uncertainty is a really amazing, beautiful, powerful thing. I like to think of it as laying back in a hammock of God’s love and protection over me while the waves are crashing around me. It is helpful, in my experience, to recognize possible outcomes and to determine to be at peace with whatever path the Lord may lead you down.

          You don’t have to sit with the fear. You turn the fear over to God and rest in trusting Him to lead you.

          If your husband says he doesn’t want to come back to bed – okay. He is a grown adult. That is his decision to make. You focus on abiding in Christ and on being a blessing to him and your family. He may not want a lot of words of affirmation or tons of gestures of respect right now. He is very wounded spiritually and emotionally. The best gift you can give him to show him he is safe with you and that you are not going to hurt him is for you to be at peace in Christ and for you to not freak out over things.

          That will blow his mind, and make him really curious. And may, in time, show him you are a safe place and a pleasant, friendly, welcoming, respectful place.

          Much love!

  7. Bel,
    I want to give you hope.My journey on peacefulwife started 5 years ago.Your story could have been mine.I cried so many tears and was in agony about my marriage.
    I looked to this website for help almost everyday and practically implimented respect.There was little change.It was only when I became quiet in the Lord that I found true peace.My peace was flowing from within, enough to full the home.Soon after my husband moved back into our room and we now have an amazing bond.
    Sometimes God is holding your husband back for you to grow, that was my case.
    I will also pray for healing and strongholds to be broken.

    1. Diana,

      Wow! Thank you SO much for sharing this precious treasure and encouragement with Bel and with all of us. What an incredible answer to my prayers to hear what God has done in your life.

      If you have the time to share a bit more about how you learned to become quiet in the Lord and how you learned to be still, any lightbulb moments, I know we would love to hear about it.

      Much love! PRAISING GOD with you!

    2. Diana
      I think your msg to me today was a gift from God. I’d been at work and had to go to the supermarket before I went home. I parked my car and the sadness of going home again to a loveless marriage was overwhelming me. I sat there in tears and prayed to God quickly. Then I had to stay there for a while so my tears could dry up. I opened my phone emails and there was your msg. It felt like “hang in there” to me. I appreciate your encouragement so much. Thank you.
      I’m with April, I’d love to hear a bit more detail if that’s not asking too much. I understand if you don’t wish to say more though. I’m not sure if you know my story apart from this particular post comments. But it’s nearly 3 yrs since my husband has even touched me. Regrets marrying me etc. and things don’t seem to be improving. In fact with him moving out of our room it is worse.
      What exactly do you mean by ‘quiet in the Lord’? Do you ever ask your husband why he left your room or if he was ever coming back? I’m finding it very hard to not show how much this is actually hurting me. It’s been over a month and I still hate going to sleep alone and waking up alone. Did you just stay quiet and not ask any questions? Was your 5 year journey actually 5 years of the marriage being that bad?
      I apologize if my questions are too intrusive.
      Thank you so much for giving me a boost today.

      1. Bel,

        I have been praying for you fervently, especially in the past week, my precious sister. I know that if you focus on the current situation and your husband’s behavior over the last month, it is very discouraging. How I pray that you might allow Jesus to lift your chin to look into His eyes blazing with love for you. Real love. Lasting love. Love that will never fail you. I pray you might be able to keep your eyes on Him and on what He wants to do in your heart and life. That is where there is EVERY reason for hope!

        Much love!

        1. Bel,

          PS – The goal is not that you will not experience pain when you feel unloved by your husband. But that you will have God’s power to walk in His victory, peace, joy, and security in your own life, even when you are still in the valley and in the trial. My prayer is that you might be able to rest in Him.

          Much love!

        2. April
          Thank you. I’m ashamed to say that I dont feel loved by Him at the moment. I know in my heart He does love me but my husband and I had an argument this morning and I am 99% sure it really wasn’t because of me. I didn’t do anything wrong but his hurtful and arrogant attitude and words were so painful. I was crying and praying to Him and asking why He is letting my husband get away with this? Why is he allowed to continue being so harsh with me without consequences or some kind of awakening for him? When is He going to hear my prayers and help us? I’m asking for good things. I’m even seriously asking if it’s time I leave for a while. I don’t want to but I’m still asking. I have every reason to leave. He doesn’t deserve me. But I don’t deserve God and His mercy either. I know that. But I am the one trying. I don’t feel the power you speak of. You said God is ready to break the chains that have been binding me for so long. I waiting and asking and begging. I’m asking what it is that I’m holding back or not realizing I’m doing that’s preventing God from hearing my prayers for help. And I don’t just mean marriage restoration. I mean to completely heal and change me. I want to run away and never come back. I want to go where no one knows me. I’m ruining my kids lives not being able to be happy more.
          I’m sorry. I know you must be tearing your hair out.
          I do appreciate your prayers.

          1. Bel,

            I’m not tearing my hair out at all, my precious sister. I hurt with you.

            The cost of people having free will is very high. A person can choose to reject God and rebel against Him. A person can choose to sin against others and hurt them. God doesn’t stop us from choosing to sin. He wants people who can voluntarily choose to love and obey Him.

            I know you don’t feel the power I am talking about yet. But I also know that it is coming for you! It may be that your healing comes during a separation. I have seen that to be the case at times when things reach a certain level of toxicity. I don’t know the details that will be required for you. I believe that the Lord can guide and lead you.

            I do think that as you seek the Lord alone, and are able to completely lay down your desires for your marriage and husband, your own healing will begin. I think as you separate yourself, your security, and your identity from your husband emotionally, and give him space to choose his own way, and as you learn to find contentment in Christ alone, you will experience God in new, amazing ways.

            You can absolutely live in the power of the Spirit. Even now. Even where you are. But it will require one more significant shift in thinking, I believe.

            Something like,

            I am not yet where I want to be in my relationship and intimacy with You. I am hurting so much. I am scared because my husband is so distant and cold. I want my marriage to heal. I want my husband to turn to You. I know those are good things and that they are Your will, too. But for right now, I am just going to lay my marriage and husband at Your feet. I can’t fix them. I can’t make my husband want to stay. I can’t make him love me. I can’t make him turn away from sinful things and turn to You. I am so tempted to find my security and joy and happiness in what he does. I keep putting my eyes on my circumstances. But You call me to look higher. To take my eyes off of what my husband is doing and to set my eyes on You alone. I am scared. But I want to trust You completely. Help me to take this next leap of faith that I have been afraid to take.

            Lord, right now, I just want to focus on my own relationship with You. That’s it. I will trust You to handle my husband and marriage in the future sometime. But right now, just let me be right with You. Show me every motive and thought that is toxic in my heart. Show me anything that offends You so that I can repent. Correct my thinking. Let me align my every thought with Your truth and Your Word. Forgive me for depending so much on my feelings and help me to build my life on You and Your truth alone. You are all that matters. You are the Greatest Treasure there is. I haven’t truly experienced this. I know it in my mind. But help me to see how true this is and how if I have You, I have more than enough. I am ready to take this next step. If my husband’s heart returns to me, that would be awesome. But if he doesn’t return to me, I want to be completely unshakeable in Christ alone.

            I am fully Yours. I give myself to You as best I know how. Fears and all. I lay my fears before You. I lay my future, my health, my life, my children, my career, my finances, my house, my marriage, my husband, and everything down at Your feet. All I want is Your will. Whatever that may be. Whatever will bring You the most glory – that is what I desire. Show me Your way of Life. I will follow and obey anything You ask of me. I only ask that You give me the power and strength to do what You ask. And I know that You will.

          2. Bel,

            I have a proposal to make to you.

            How about this… Don’t pray for your husband or marriage for the next two weeks. I will pray every day for him and for your marriage. I would love for you just to pray for yourself and your own relationship with the Lord and your own spiritual healing for two weeks.

            What do you think?

          3. April
            The frustrating thing is that I pray similar to that. And still nothing. Then again I think I am actually doing way better. I’m not crying all day and night and barely able to function like I used to. I hurt but I can carry on better. I think i can rest in Him a lot more than I used to. But like I said, the pain is still there.
            Ok. I will do what you suggest with my prayers. It will be hard though because I feel the need to pray for him and for his pain and wounds to be healed too a lot. I will have to really try hard I think. But if you will be praying for him then I feel better knowing that at least one person in the world is praying for him.
            Thank you.

          4. Bel,

            I’m so glad to hear you are doing a lot better than you used to. That is awesome!

            I think that if you can completely get your heart and mind focused on your own walk with the Lord for a bit – it will give you over this hump. I know that for me, I had to stop praying for Greg for quite awhile in the beginning of my journey. I know that sounds weird. But for a time, the only thing I could pray was for God to bless him and to thank God for him. That was it. It was a really key part of the process of me becoming un-enmeshed with Greg emotionally and spiritually and me learning to really believe that God had him and that I didn’t need to try to change him and fix him myself.

            I will be honored to pray for your husband and marriage daily for these next two weeks. I want you to be completely free just to focus on the Lord for your own self for awhile. Okay, so through September 8th, I have your husband covered in prayer. No matter what happens with him. No matter what you see with your eyes and hear with your ears. Know that God is at work behind the scenes in his life. You can let him go spiritually and emotionally right now and just be still before the Lord and receive the things He wants to do in and for you. I kind of picture it like laying still on an operating table and allowing God to shine His light into the darkest places of our lives. He will show you things that are poison in your life, as you desire Him to show you them, so that He can help you can tear them out and then begin to heal you.

            There may be lies and motives that need to be addressed. This part may be painful. But the pain is temporary and ushers in Life and healing.

            I’m right here with you. We’ll walk this road together, my precious sister.

            Much love!

          5. Bel,

            Ooh! One more thing I would like you to do. I would like for you to lay down all of your expectations for your husband in the next two weeks. Don’t expect anything good from him. At all. Don’t expect him to look at you, touch you, smile at you, talk with you, be with you, etc… Just accept that he is where he is on his own journey. He is in a dark dungeon, ensnared by Satan right now. He is in a lot of pain. Right now, he doesn’t have anything good to offer. That is okay. He needs Jesus and great spiritual healing himself. I’m praying about his salvation and his healing. God has him. And God has you.

  8. Oh my goodness this post was like a healing ointment on my cracked dry hard heart!! What a precious, precious post!! I thank God for your boldness to share your testimony ‘Radiant’. Simply awestruck at His wonder and saving grace.

    1. sydneejstanley,

      So thankful the Lord used this to bless you. What a joy to get to stand under the “showers of blessings” that pour from the Lord through other believers into our own hearts. Praising God for the healing He will continue to accomplish in your life!

Thanks for joining the discussion! Let's keep it classy and respectful. :)

%d bloggers like this: