I wish I could articulate in a way that shows the gratitude in my heart of all of the many things God has and is continuing to do and show me in my journey. I definitely had my husband’s love and his view of me as an idol in my life and God has used certain events in our marriage to bring me to a place of realizing that my husband will never be able to fulfill me totally and that only Christ can do that.
There are just so many different things that have been touched on along this journey:
- finding my security in Christ
- realizing that I was “enmeshed” with my husband in a negative way
- understanding that being a submissive, respectful wife does not mean that I cannot state my opinions and speak my mind – it just means that the way I do it is much, much differently than the way I did it before (which was disrespectful, angry, and self-righteous a lot of the time)
- realizing that God has made me to be a person of influence in my husband’s life
- learning how to stand firm in a respectful way for things that were beginning to be detrimental to our marriage while still remaining vulnerable and open to my husband even though I was hurting because of some of his actions
- understanding differences between men and women and how some of the things that I was being offended by didn’t need to be that big of a deal and that I could meet my husband in some of his needs by not getting so emotional or by giving him space
- learning that love is not pretending that everything is perfect when it’s not
- learning to love unconditionally and to bless when I’ve been wronged (however, I don’t think unconditional love means that a marital relationship will look like a marital relationship that is totally healthy – I think you can unconditionally love but still have boundaries).
God has truly been literally changing my perspective of what it means to respect my husband. It started out as acting respectfully, but He has been changing my heart to give me real, true respect for my husband. So, the actions that started out by faith are now coming more naturally and effortlessly as God is doing this work in me.
I really could probably go on and on, but these are just some of the things off the top of my head that are coming to mind.
So much of the good stuff that has come has been brought about by going through some really painful times these last few years and so, the grace that God gave me to trust Him during those times has been pivotal. And He has strengthened my faith even more to see how He works – how we are so safe in His hands, even when our circumstances can feel and appear to be so hopeless.
His love is unfailing and unfathomable and the biggest lesson through this all is that He is teaching me that He truly is enough for me.
TO TRULY CHANGE, WE HAVE TO SHIFT FROM COMPLAINING OR JUST READING ABOUT GODLY WOMANHOOD AND BEGIN TO INVEST OURSELVES WHOLEHEARTEDLY IN OUR WALK WITH CHRIST…