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I'm Working on Book #2!

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My publisher, Kregel Publications, asked me to write a second book, tentatively titled, “The Peaceful Mom”!

How amazing is that?!?!

God continues to open so many doors, I am completely overwhelmed and in awe. My goal has been, “Lord, I am fully Yours. Use me however and wherever You will. Just show me the way. Whatever assignment you have for me – I want to be in the very center of Your will. I want all of Your perfect will and nothing but Your perfect will.”

Greg and I have two children – a 14 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. We are still in the middle of the whole thing and have a long way to go, ourselves. Theย second isn’t going to be a book about parenting, but rather, a continuation of “The Peaceful Wife – Living in Submission to Christ As Lord” where we delve even deeper into living fully for Christ and how that impacts our attitudes and mindsets toward our children. Many wives have commented to me how what they have learned about respect and about living for Christ as Lord has dramatically affected the way they approach their children, too. Of course, when Christ is Lord of all in our lives – He will empower us in all of our relationships and change the way we treat everyone!

God-willing, I am planning to discuss things like:

  • God’s design for families
  • Purifying our thought lives
  • Being responsible for ourselves spiritually and our own emotions
  • Honoring our husbands as fathers
  • Modeling to our children how to respect those in authority
  • Not allowing our children to become idols in our hearts
  • Releasing our dreams for our families and children to God and seeking His will and His greatest glory instead
  • Counting trials as joy
  • Overcoming perfectionism and people pleasing
  • Avoiding destructive attempts to motivate our children like: playing the martyr, loving with strings attached, control, and guilt
  • Living out forgiveness, mercy, and grace in front of our children

The biblical concepts we will talk about in book 2 would apply for women who don’t have children, too – even to many single women. We will be delving more deeply into discipleship and following Christ. Those things apply to us all! Then we will focus especially on how these concepts relate to us as moms.

I AM GOING TO NEED HELP!

I would like to collect stories from my amazing readers about these topics that I may be able to use in the book. Be on the lookout in your life. ๐Ÿ™‚ If you think of something God has shown you about how you relate to your children in one of these areas that you believe He would like you to share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Examples – some moms have realized (when reading about becoming a peaceful wife) that:

  • their teenage sons respond well to respect rather than control
  • they had made their children into idols that they desired above Christ in various ways
  • perfectionism has been killing the joy in their home
  • as they learn to take their own thoughts captive, they are better able to help their children take their thoughts captive and address any unbiblical thinking and lies their children are believing
  • when they are full of the joy and peace of Jesus instead of being very worried and upset a lot, their children blossom
  • children respond well to encouragement, vulnerability, direct communication, genuine praise, respect, honor, and unconditional love
  • parenting is much more productive and easier when moms close ranks with their husbands and the parents present a united front
  • their children’s behavior improves when they begin treating their husbands with respect and that the children begin to speak more respectfully to both parents and maybe to other authorities in their lives

Maybe you have a similar story you would like to share about things God has shown you on this journey regarding your children and the way you think as a mother. Or maybe you would like to share a godly or unhealthy example you experienced and how that impacted you later as a wife and mom. Stories will be shared anonymously. I don’t want to throw anyone “under the bus” or dishonor any of our parents. We can remove identifying details, if necessary. The main goal is to pray about if there is something in your experiences that you believe God may want to use to bless others to help them learn without having to repeat mistakes or to help them learn from beautiful examples you have seen.

I can’t guarantee that every story can be used. But I love to hear your stories and can’t wait to see all that you want to share.

 

Thank you all for being on this journey with me! What an honor to get to walk this road together! ๐Ÿ™‚

Much love to each of you,

April

 

 

 

 

52 thoughts on “I'm Working on Book #2!

  1. Peaceful wife,

    Wow! That is such great news!

    You are going to do an excellent job, through and in Jesus!

    I am sure that it will be an inspiration to so many moms!

    Jesuscentreoflife

    1. Jesuscentreoflife,

      Thank you, my brother. Please pray that God will empower me to be faithful and obedient to Him – that every word would be of Him and that He would greatly increase and I would greatly decrease. I long for Him to pour His message, truth, love, and wisdom through me to His daughters (and sons) to bless the whole Body – however He sees fit.

      1. I will pray that for you! We are in such a battle against satanic forces. Children are now hardly allowed to be children any longer. So many parents wish to see their children as equals, not fully grown but capable of decision making. Loving authority, just like our Brother and Our Father.
        Equality= mediocrity and gives permission for radical feminism, breakdown in gender and homosexuality and lesbianism and transgenderism.

        My picture for male and female is the sun and the moon.

        I would be happy to write more but would prefer not for it to be sent in email format. I understand you do not wish to give out your email address. Maybe I can post it on my blog!
        Thank you sister, you truly are doing the work of Our Savior.
        Jesuscentreoflife

        1. Jesuscentreoflife,

          If there is something you would like to share, let me know. You would prefer to send it via email?

          Thank you for your encouragement and support.

          1. Dear Peacefulwife,

            Yes over the years, I have written things especially one longish essay on feminism and whilst it may only have little bearing on motherhood, I do feel that the denigration of motherhood and being a mother being a blessing from God, not a chore, that we can do away with surprises by planning parenthood as, those pro choice people euphemistically call having an abortion. I believe motherhood to be one of the most glorious occupations. I would be happy to send emails to Greg’s address if you would prefer. Otherwise, I can alway put it on as a blog posting.

            Thank you sister,
            Jesuscentreoflife

          2. Dear Peacefulwife,

            Yes, I would like to share some things with you by email. If you would prefer, I could send things via Greg’s email address.

            I believe that motherhood is one of the most glorious occupations that a woman can enjoy. I find it so sad that feminism has physicalized and denigrated, this beautiful blessing from God.

            When we can “plan parenthood” we are besides taking life and thereby destroying its sanctity, which is heinous, we are denying the blessing that only God can give us.

            It is sheer arrogance of the materialism of society today that we can make a child. The act of lovemaking realizes the least part of the child, its physical nature and that is already I need miraculous. But God gives each child a spark of life. I can only imagine the joy that must bring to a Christian mother, to feel the first stirrings of life within her.

            Feminism denies this and denies the blessing children can bring.

            As you can see I grow rather passionate about this.

            Bless you sister, bless you!
            Jesuscentreoflife

  2. Wow, April, this is great news! I’m sure I have many stories relating to where I cam from and where I am now. Also, the changes (especially the most recent) in me have had obvious positive effects on all of the men in my house, husband and sons.

    I will have to pray about which to share.

    Congratulations!

    Becca

    1. Becca,

      Ooh!!!!!! That would be the most amazing gift to me – to get to read your stories and maybe to get to share them in the book. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you for praying about this!!

      I’m so excited!

    1. Carla,

      I have taught a class at my church 3 times on the Peaceful Wife stuff.

      I am scheduled to have my first conference in Branson, Missouri this coming August. I hope to have details to share with everyone in the next week or so.

  3. That’s exciting for you! I will pray that God gives you the right words and leading for the book if it is in His plan for you.

    You have so much spare time (not) I’m sure another book will occupy that time ๐Ÿ™‚ HH

    1. Humbled Husband,

      Balancing my time is my greatest challenge most days. My life does seem to get a bit crazy at times. I have been dropping everything I can from my schedule to keep it as clear as possible so that I can focus on the main things that will matter the most in eternity.

      I am almost halfway done with the book now. Have been working on it since the beginning of April. Of course, I still need a lot of stories to go along with the points – so I am excited about what God will provide.

      I could even use some husbands’ perspectives if there is any topic any of the men feel led to share a bit about. What would it mean to a husband to have the mother of his children be peaceful and Spirit-filled? What challenges does a man face when this is not the situation? How does a wife closing ranks with her husband make his job as leader easier?

      You don’t have to answer any of these. You don’t have to share anything unless you feel led. But if there is anything you would like to share, you are most welcome to, my brother. I may be able to use it.

      Thanks for rejoicing with me! I do believe this is God’s calling for me – His next calling. I am excited to see where He leads from here and how He may desire to bless marriages and families for His kingdom!

      1. April,

        You are welcome to have some of my time, I have a lot free! Actually, you CAN have some of my time, I will set aside time to pray for the book ๐Ÿ™‚

        I will think on these questions. As I read them I felt in my Spirit that there may be some things that I could offer from a husbands perspective, however I would not want to write them on a public blog.

        I will think on this. HH

        1. HH,

          Fervent prayer from a place of deep faith in Christ is the best gift any person could possibly give me. That is awesome! Thank you!

          I trust you to hear God’s voice and to share if He wants you to. But if He is not calling you to share, I respect that and trust God to lead you. ๐Ÿ™‚

          1. I will wait on Him and see ๐Ÿ™‚

            Speaking of waiting, remember your post “Waiting becomes sweet”?

            I think I actually GET that now…..I know it’s early days yet and I am a little tentative in writing this but I’ve had a very calm and joyful outlook the last couple weeks………so much so that it is becoming obvious to those around me. A friend at church asked me on Sunday how I was and I said “Good” and he looked at me very closely for a minute and said “Yes. Yes, you are. I can see a big burden has been lifted”.

            Waiting on Him. HH

          2. Humbled Husband,

            This is why I do what I do. I HAVE to share it. God has given me such treasures – Himself, His peace, His joy, His presence, His Spirit, His healing, some of His wisdom… I can’t possibly keep this to myself while my sisters and brothers and those who don’t yet know Christ are suffering. How I long for everyone to get to taste just a little of the spiritual LIFE in my soul that God has given to me. I want everyone to get to have Him!

            How I praise God for what He is doing in you. I can see and feel and hear God’s Spirit has been in charge in your soul these past few weeks. It is the most glorious thing to watch.

            When God began to change me, I sequestered myself a lot to pray and study for hours every day. But after awhile, my twin sister saw me and she saw a big change in my countenance. She saw peace on my face for the first time.

            How cool is that!?!?

            When we are filled up with Christ, we have everything that truly matters. And we are in fellowship with the One who holds the universe in His hands. He has given us all that belongs to Jesus. We have more than we can begin to imagine! If we can just see what He has done and who He is and who we are in Him! The entire world begins to look so different. The big problems don’t seem so big. They are still there – but we know that God is working behind the scenes for our best interests ultimately and for His glory – so we can face storms and trials with unshakeable peace and confidence as He empowers us.

            Once you taste God like this – you NEVER want to go back to the old awful dungeon again.

            This makes me smile the biggest smile, my brother!

          3. Yes! I’m smiling as I read this too, biggest smile ๐Ÿ™‚ And because you are not giving YOURSELF to anybody then there’s no pride when someone ‘gets’ it through you coz you know it’s all of God and you genuinely praise Him that it’s of Him!

            Oh how I wish that I could pour this healing into my wife’s heart! I know her pain more intimately than anyone on this planet. I can see the lies she is believing and the empty ways that she is looking for satisfaction.

            I sit here LONGING to be able to wrap my arms around her, open her heart and pour in the love that God has for her! Yet I also praise Him for the self control to just sit there and wait on His timing.

            I pray that one day that blunt knife turning around in my heart would be replaced with the unspeakable joy of knowing that she is one with Christ as well.

            I tell you what though, it takes an awfully long time to learn how to correctly discern the leading of the Spirit. I still definitely am too abrupt or too weak on occasion!

            In Him, HH

          4. Hi April.

            I have thought much about answering these questions. I conclude that I am not qualified to offer any thoughts on your questions.

            I am only a baby on this journey and everything I wrote sounded vitriolic and condemning and revealed more to me about the growth I still need than it did about having a peaceful and Spirit filled wife ๐Ÿ™‚

            I will continue to pray for the book and look forward to reading it when it arrives.

            In Christ, HH

          5. HH,
            I’m glad you worked on these and I am thankful for what God showed you. I pray for His continued healing and growth for you, my brother. Thank you for your prayers!

  4. So happy for you! You do an awesome job helping us and He uses those that want to be used! To God be the glory!

  5. Congrats, April!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ This sounds like it will be a great book! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m so excited for you!! God is doing so many cool things with your life. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I am wondering if maybe other books could complete a series on relationships that Christian women have with others… it seems like the first book focused on marriage (the covenant bond), then the second on kids (the rest of the nuclear family), and then maybe a third could focus on other familial relationships? Like with parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandkids, etc.? And maybe a fourth with friends, acquaintances, and strangers? Just a thought! ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

    Much love!
    Flower

    1. Flower,

      God completely amazes me. His plans for me are so much bigger than I could ever have dreamed or imagined. I just want to keep following where He leads and I want to do what He calls me to do.

      My publisher asked me to write this book. They will probably decide what the next books will be, as well. It could easily be a series just like that where we talk about biblical principles of being a disciple of Christ and a godly woman in various settings.

      Thank you for sharing those ideas. I will definitely keep them in mind. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Much love, my dear sister!

  6. April,
    YES! I was thinking recently how I would enjoy reading some more about us as moms from you!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ Clearly we are united by the same Spirit of Christ! Love it! So happy and excited about this book!!!

    I am sure you still have the story about respecting my son’s father about the homeschool/school thing (I think you asked to use it a while ago for a possible post)! That was a great experience.

    But also, If I haven’t already, I definitely want to testify to the fact that my relationship with my son has changed just as much as mine and my husband’s from learning from your journey and applying it! My son has changed so much.

    The main thing for me was realizing that I can not control ANYONE else.

    I really tried to control my son more than anything else. I tried to make him eat what he didn’t want to eat, wear what he didn’t want to wear, do what he refused to do. There is obviously a balance, and I definitely don’t let him do whatever he wants, but I was being EXTREME with the control. I would get completely aggravated and frustrated whenever he didn’t do exactly what I wanted him to do. I would also put his feelings up in my heart as the god and deciding factor of everything. It was like I was living to make sure he didn’t get upset. WOW. that was a mistake. He learned to be very manipulative. I am so thankful my husband doesn’t fall for that type of thing and he has put him in his place repeatedly. My son is learning that he can not act this way and he is learning to be accountable for his own choices! HALLELUJAH!

    I remember reading a post in your earlier years blogging about how God and your husband amaze you, and how your husband totally stepped in and lead you when your kids were home one day. How Greg was that day is exactly how my husband is with me and my son. He used to just not say anything when my son wasn’t listening to me, etc….But over the past 4 months or so, my husband has completely turned into how Greg was that day. He steps in, he leads my son, he does his homework with him, if I am getting “worried”…perfect example—my son just had his tonsils/adnoids out this past week, (I see now how God used my husband quitting his job and allowing him to be home for this reason!!! before he started working again out of state, he left today)…..side note sorry ๐Ÿ™‚ , but my son just had his tonsils/adnoids out this week and I was worried that he wasn’t drinking enough fluids, eating enough, etc. etc. and my husband was there to tell me “he’ll be alright, relax”. And I just relaxed and trusted his wisdom!

    Also, when I repented about the homeschool situation, my husband and I were led to put my son in a 20 day program where he was counseled and taught how to behave better in school (we were having some issues and the school recommended the program)! If God hadn’t led me here and taught me and opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong and how I was sinning, I would have never repented, enrolled him in school, and he would have never gone to this program that has SERIOUSLY benefited our family. We did family therapy there and it has seriously been amazing, all the progress we have seen!

    My son was VERY rebellious, and it really wasn’t until I stopped trying to control him, stopped idolizing him and his behavior, and focusing on Christ alone to satisfy me, that my son started really changing and being more respectful. I also took your word about how children learn to respect authority by how we respect our husbands very seriously. I remember when I read that post—-it was like a 20 inch thick scale came off my eyes that day…my heart was broken in the face of all my sin…..I couldn’t believe it. I was so sorrowful. I was devastated at what I had done. I am so thankful God opened my eyes!

    Some ways I catch onto my son now— He’ll try to blame me/other people for his “feelings”…now I simply tell him that he is responsible for his own feelings and that no one can “make” him mad. He’ll try to manipulate me into doing what he wants, and I simply say “your step dad said X, and that’s what the answer is”.

    ******THAT WAS THE BIGGEST REINFORCEMENT EVER! I took your advice about telling him that his father and stepfather decided X and that’s what he needs to do, and he does not argue with that. EVER. He is totally in line with his step dad and does not want to rock that boat because he knows that his step dad will not stand for his unacceptable behavior.

    We have all drawn so much closer as a family. It has truly been a miracle.

    My counselor even mentioned how she noticed that it was because of God working in me that all these things seemed to stem out from that. ALL GLORY TO GOD!

    It really is true that kids imitate you. My husband used to tell me “if you want to know how you act, just look at your son”…………….. HE WAS RIGHT!!!! I used to get so upset when he would say that….but now I know it is true.

    I’ve learned to take my claws out of everyones neck and llet them be and learn and live, and that God is in control, and no one else! ๐Ÿ™‚

    My son is also very sensitive to me worrying/panicing/fearing—-it really is true, when all is well and I am peaceful and at rest in Christ—even if things are chaotic on the outside of me—-my son is FINE. He is at rest. The minute I lose it—he starts freaking out. If I cry, he cries. If I get scared, he gets frightened. What an impact we truly have. It is amazing.

    When I praise God, my son does too. When I speak life and truth so does he! There have been times lately when my 7 year old son has reminded me: “Mom, the life of Christ!” ๐Ÿ™‚ The Bible says “Out of the mouth of babes…”

    I also remember when I first sat my son down and told him I was sorry for disrespecting my husband and him and that from then on I was going to listen to my husband b/c he was in charge and b/c God made him in charge—–after that, maybe a day later or so—when I was putting my son to bed, he said out of no where “it’s so nice to have a mom”! ๐Ÿ™‚ My heart melted of course!

    Also, I am really big on explaining to my son what a man iis/does for his family—I often tell him that when he grows up and has a wife and his own kids, he will be in charge, he will provide, and take care of his family. I feel strongly about raising a man of God who knows how to treat a lady, and who knows what it means, according to the Bible, what it is to be a real man. There really is a hero in every man ๐Ÿ™‚ But I also realize now that his life does not depend on ME, it depends on Jesus. I am just a tool in God’s hand, if He wishes to use me in anyway in my family’s life. My son will stand before God just like all of us. I can certainly contribute life or death, and that will be my own choice as well—-But all that weight on my shoulders thinking his destiny rested on ME alone—that is gone. WOW. Freedom! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I hope you atleast get to enjoy hearing all the ways God has used you to impact my family so far! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love,
    Amanda

    1. Amanda,

      LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!

      I would be honored to get to share these stories. I can’t wait to include them in the book. What powerful work God is doing in your heart and look how He changed you and is changing you first and then uses you to pour His healing into your family. WOW! I seriously never get tired of hearing stories like these. There is no greater joy for me than to see how God works in people’s hearts and relationships when they totally yield to Him.

      THANK YOU for sharing these powerful examples. Brings me to tears of joy!

      Much love!

      1. April,
        You are so welcome! We need a book like this to refer to—- this is seriously powerful stuff—- God has given you such treasures to share with us all!! I certainly never knew just how much power we hold as women to influence the atmosphere of our families/homes! It is AMAZING! My heart is bubbling up with joy with you Sister!!! He never ceases to AMAZE me either! ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Love,
        Amanda

  7. “Their teenage sons respond well to respect rather than control.” This resonates strongly with me. This was a particular problem for my (ex-) wife and my youngest son when he was 13-14. She was consistently having trouble controlling him and would frequently seek my intervention (and then complain about whatever approach I took with him to get whatever compliance she wanted from him). One time that I’ll always remember, she was completely frustrated with him and came into my home office to demand my intervention. She had been demanding something from him, raising her voice, and treating him pretty contemptuously (a mode she frequently used for me as well). For some reason, I recognized as soon as he came into my office that he was not just defiant but sad. Somehow I knew that coming on strong was just going to make things worse, so instead I went over to where he was sitting and just gave him a big hug (this was not my normal way to begin a disciplinary session); after a few moments he just slumped into me and when I asked him what was wrong, he broke into tears and began to explain what he was feeling and what was bothering him. When he was done, he readily agreed to do whatever it was his mother had been trying to get him to do. As I recall, she just shook her head and walked out.

    Perhaps a year later my wife left me. My son split his time equally between us until about 2 months after the split, when she broke a promise to him and, when he responded inappropriately with a tantrum, again treated him contemptuously. This time he ran away from her and, sad to say, refused to ever live with her after that. To this day (he’s now 19), even when he visits her he almost always wants one of his brothers or a friend to visit her at the same time.

    1. David,

      Thank you so much for sharing this example. I appreciate it and can feel the pain your son was in so deeply in your words. My son is 14 now – I can picture the whole thing vividly.

      May God richly bless your walk with Christ and your children. May He draw your ex-wife to Himself – that each of you may be whole in Jesus and that your lives might bring Him great honor and glory.

  8. Congratulations April! A book for mums would be wonderful! I was desperate for godly parenting advice a few years back, and I couldn’t find any!! (Especially not in the UK!)
    I do have many stories to share, especially about control and my children as idols, and also relating to having no parent role models of my own, and a non-Christian husband.
    I praise God for what He has done in my life and my children’s lives, and would be very willing to share (have shared some before anyway) but I need to really pray about it first, and decide what is appropriate/helpful/ and will bring the most glory to God ๐Ÿ™‚
    May God bless you and give you peace and joy as you prepare this new book.
    All my love

    1. Sunshine,

      I would love for you to pray about what you believe God may desire you to share. That would be awesome!

      If I get more stories than I can share in the book, I would love to share some as posts, too, on the blog.

      Looking forward to reading what you feel led to share, my precious sister!

      Thank you for the encouragement!

  9. Wow. I feel like I’m really going to need that.

    I’m still working on being a respectful wife, but one of my husband’s complaints is that I am willing to respect/obey him, unless it involves the kids. Then I pretty much do my own thing.

    I think, in my mind, I’m “sheltering” the kids from my husband, who can, in my opinion, be a lot harsher in how he deals with them than I think he should (he’s never been remotely abusive; I just don’t like seeing him angry at all). In actuality, I think I’m making things worse.

    Or he’ll address the kids a certain way, and I find myself trying to explain their behavior. I’m not trying to justify it, but I think he sees it that way. I’m just trying to bring insight into the situation in case he doesn’t have all the information. I think he doesn’t really care why they did something, or how they were feeling ahead of time; he just wants the behavior to stop and my “helping” isn’t really helping him at all.

    That said, I feel like there are some bits of information that really do change how things ought to be dealt with. I think my pastor used an illustration recently, that there was a child climbing all over things, being rowdy, and her father seemed not to care at all. The person brought it to her father’s attention, and the father seemed to wake up from a stupor, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. Her mother just died of cancer, and we’re on our way back from the hospital.” (Obviously, it’s not anything THAT serious, but I like to let him know where their heads have been at that day/how they’ve been feeling. Is that undermining him?)

    I’ve also noticed that the way I interact with my kids doesn’t always come from a good place. I try to be positive in my interactions, but sometimes I speak more from a place of trying to gain control/guilt them into good behavior, and I know that’s unpleasant for them. I need more help on how to relate to my husband AND to my kids! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. BlessedOut,

      I’m excited that you are seeing some of these things – and pray for you to seek God’s wisdom about how He would have you to respond. If you haven’t seen it, you may want to search my home page for “respect husband as father” for some things to prayerfully consider, as well.

      I pray for GOd to lead you and your husband to be the spouses and parents He desires you to be. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I used to do a lot of the same things you are describing – but eventually, Greg totally unplugged and wasn’t involved at all. I learned to step back, if he was not sinning against them, and allow him to parent as he felt he needed to without so much interference. Of course, I can share my perspective and concerns respectfully. But it turns out that I actually don’t need to do that very often. After I began to respect him and honor his parenting, he stepped up SO much and is doing an amazing job. Sometimes children need the different approach of their dad and if we interfere, we can make things a lot worse for everyone.

      If a dad is being abusive or sinning against the children, we need to address it. Or if he is too harsh, we may need to talk with him about it in private. There is a great example of this in the book Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas of how a wife approached her husband respectfully and he softened his approach to their son when they were skiing and he was being really harsh.

      I’m glad you are seeing your motives with your children. That is the first step! Praying for God to continue His beautiful work in your life and in your family for His glory! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m going to begin including some posts for moms shortly.

  10. I hope this might inspire any reader whether in a book or just on this site. Thank you.
    I had an encounter this weekend that greatly affected me. It had to do with a mothers love and compassion in the midst of pain.

    This weekend I witnessed the result of peer pressure that would affect the life of a youth and their family. It was heartbreaking because the teen girl was crying and hurt and the parent was devastated. As I sat there I could not judge in my heart at all because I too was a teen once and faced the same pressures and know all too well how a choice seems like no choice at all, giving in to some pressures and not giving in on other pressures. This child was so heartbroken my own heart broke as I sat there watching the scene unfold. I couldnโ€™t blame them really, they seemed so regretful. The girl was crying, my son was the one respectfully quiet.

    Surrounding the turmoil, there was one thing looming in the air. The grace the other mother showed. In the midst of her own other problems she had to deal with this heartbreak from her daughter. She was obviously brokenhearted but this woman was also as calm as a spring breeze. I stared at her as she spoke in an almost incredulous way just soaking in her demeanor. She was inspiring and her peace while she spoke words of discipline and love to them will always stay with me. She said she prayed that she wouldnโ€™t say anything that would be hurtful to them individually but wanted to speak the truth in love. Even though she was afraid of her daughters well being and she had a worry visible on her face, she also had a hope that this bad situation would eventually be turned around into good. Then that faith and hope went into the others, and even myself. That grace and peace in the midst of this could only come from her love and trust and commending her child into Godโ€™s hands.

    The truth is a part of me, the prideful self, felt a bit envious. Iโ€™ve come extremely far in the way I used to be but I was nothing like her. Why couldnโ€™t I be like her, have her grace. But I remembered that God meets us where we are and is still working through me as long as I keep striving towards goodness. And, I was thankful, to have her presented in my life as an example. I took a moment to express my thanks afterwards in prayer. Something tells me this huge impact I felt today will come back to serve me. Itโ€™s so rare that I meet someone that, when they leave, I feel like I want to be a better person. The only person that ever makes me feel that way is visiting my parents. But never or rarely a peer of mine. She was my age, but had a wisdom and humility mixed with peace in the midst of this terrible situation that reminded me more of my mother and left me in awe. Only God can transform us in such a way that defy words and transcend circumstances.

    After this experience I remembered how easy it is to think the world sometimes is a gloomy place with all the bad news we hear and sometimes with situations we have to deal with right in our own lives, but thankfully I know that even though there is evil there is also much good news taking place all over the world too, in the graciousness of people during trials, in reaching to others in love, acts of kindness in peopleโ€™s homes, in classrooms, in stores, on the streetsโ€ฆ..we just donโ€™t hear of it because itโ€™s not being reported since the world isnโ€™t fascinated with it and you can never capture it all, but itโ€™s there.

    WE can be someoneโ€™s good news. We can be the person that makes another feel like being a better person when we walk away from them, just by the way we handle ourselves when we speak to them. And even more so, the way they see us handle ourselves in the midst of a terrible situation in our lives. Iโ€™m glad I had that encounter and a part of me wonders if she was sent for a reason, maybe in the future Iโ€™ll need to remember the grace she showed others in the midst of her own pain and suffering.

  11. April,
    What an awesome opportunity to continue spreading your message. I work with children on a daily basis and observe their interactions with their parents and the parent’s catering toward their children, that goes on all too often. I think it is so hard these days for both, the parents and the children, because they are bombarded with such variety of unhealthy and ungodly influences that didn’t exist 30 years ago.
    The dismantling of family is almost complete, and the parent’s rights to bring up their children with God as their center, is an exception rather than the norm! Thank you so much for taking on this so important work! I think today, the basic concept of respect for oneself and others, is almost non existing!
    My children are grown now, but I know from personal experience how important leadership from a god trusting father is! Men have been condemned and marginalized for the last 30 years, and it shows not only in our society as a whole (gang violence, shacking up, girls having babies, desperate girls doing anything for male attention, etc.), but the brake up of families in general… a chain of divorces and lack of taking any kind of personal responsibility for personal conduct…
    People are desperate for the love of Christ, and you have such a unique perspective…
    God is so awesome… he produces good from pain and suffering and pours his blessings out from the bleakest of circumstance… it is still hard for me personally to step out of his way… but I am continuing on my journey with the most awesome teacher that is…

    Thank you again, for all that you do… His glory shines brightly through you!!!

    Warmly, A Lifelong Learner!

  12. When my kids were little I was very tired and sound sensitive and my kids were happy and loud! I used to yell at them and it made me feel like a terrible person, I would get up in the morning and say, “Today is the day I’m not going to yell!”, and 5 minutes later I would be yelling. I heard something about it on the Christian radio that said that yelling was just a bad habit, which made me feel a little less condemned about it. Then I read the love and logic book and only got a couple of good things from that book. The important concept I learned from that book was when your kids disobey you they take something away from you. In order to make it right they have to do something to make you feel better. I wrote down all of their names on a piece of paper and when they did something wrong I would write it down with a tally mark behind their name. A little later on I would say, “You guys have some tally marks on your paper and I have some jobs for you to do so we can erase them. Then I would have a list of special jobs for them to choose from that were very satisfying to me, such as cleaning under the refrigerator or rubbing my feet. I was so glad that didnt have to yell anymore!

  13. April,
    I’ve followed your blog for the past two years and I respect the work you are doing, the awareness that you bring forward. My screen name is very specific as I am a single parent. As a single parent I’ve dated women with children of young age, they will never get me in the ways they would get their biological fathers alive or passed. Have you considered this type of situation for your book? Or are you focussing first on an existing family unit? Curious…..

    1. Keigan’s Dad,

      I hope to make the book as relatable as possible to many moms in various situations. It will be primarily focused on wives. But I can certainly pray about how much to address single parenting issues, as well. For the most part, the book will be about a mom’s/woman’s heart. There is a chapter about closing ranks with her husband. But most of the chapters will be primarily about her walk with Christ.

      1. April,
        I have been a single mom/parent as you know, and Even now that I’m married, I have been alone for most of it raising my son these 2 years. So much is happening lately. I really feel that that incident when I realized how I was interferring with my son’s real father and even my husband about the school situation, was God preparing me for what is happening now. As you know, my husband did get another job in another state recently. This time, he is so far away, I can’t see him unless I go there permanently.

        At first, I was going to just stay put with my son. But ever since my husband has been gone again, my son has started going back to his old ways, especially with school letting out. I felt the Lord put it on my heart to consider letting my son go to live with his father. The idea came from my own husband’s mouth. He suggested that since I can’t seem to handle my son on my own with no support around, and that he really needs a strong male in his life on a constant basis, it might be best to let him go with his dad for a while.

        At first that thought was almost unbearable. My son has always lived with me, and as you know I was severely blinded by pride and control and disrespect towards his father. But now that God has revealed so much in this area, I have decided that in the long run, my son will benefit so much more from his father’s influence and involvement, rather than keeping my son to be raised by only me out of fear of what might happen. I believe that God is leading me through my husband, and that I can trust God in this decision we are making. I have tried to make it work, I’ve come to the end of myself with it all, and I believe that God has other plans than I can see in all of this. The only thing that concerned me was that his father is NOT a believer. But I took into considerationg that his father is God-ordained authority in my son’s life, and that it would be completely wrong for me to hold my son back from him in fear/control/pride. How do I know God won’t use my obedience to my husband in this to draw his father to Christ?? I get chills just writing that.

        I want to glorify God, and obey Him. I am so blessed to have not one, but two men who have the best interest of my son in their hearts to make sure he is raised to be a responsible young man. I am literally letting go and offering up my child in complete trust of God and His plans.

        Now I will be able to move with my husband wherever he goes, and I will be able to rest, knowing that the weight of my son’s life is not on my shoulders primarily. I can trust that God is sovereign even over his father, and can guide his heart to accomplish His will in my son’s life.

        I know that my family/friends will not be supportive of this decision. But I am not out to please other people. The bible says to submit to my husband, not my son, my family, friends. I am praying that God’s will be done in all of it!

        Blessings,
        Amanda

        1. Amanda,

          Wow! That is a VERY tough decision to make. I pray for God’s wisdom for all three of you. I am so glad you want your son to have a healthy relationship with his dad. I’m glad you are seeking God’s will and His wisdom and what is best in His eyes and for your son and not acting out of fear. Boys do need a strong male role model. That is true.

          Praying for your family, my precious sister! Thank you for sharing.

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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