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Does Your Husband Contact You from Work? – A QUICK SURVEY


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I’d love to hear as many responses as possible to these questions Β to help me with a post I would like to write. Thanks so much for your help!!! πŸ™‚ And if you want to add anything else on these topics in the comments, please feel free to share. It may help me with the direction I need to go in the post.

 

Much love to each of you, I am praying for you!

April

 

 

 

36 thoughts on “Does Your Husband Contact You from Work? – A QUICK SURVEY

  1. He does call me from work, perhaps once or twice a week. Sometimes he calls just to say “Hi.” Literally, as in “Hi, see you later.” It’s very short, but sweet. Sometime when there is something to be done he will call more often and start to drive me crazy. I suspect half his fun actually involves trying to drive me crazy. πŸ™‚

  2. Part of my answers are because my husband works 18 hours a day 6-7 days per week, so ANY communication is valued. Even though I would LOVE to hear from him all the time, the fact that I hear NOTHING from him has helped me be grateful for even a little bit.

  3. Honestly, it would be really nice to just have even a short text that said he remembered me. The ONLY phone calls I get are to tell me to do something on the farm or to help someone else. It breaks me…

    1. WorkingHere
      Good morning.
      I read your post today. And it made me smile. Not in a bad way. My husband does call and text me all day and until I read your response didn’t realize how many calls and texts I recieve between the I love you and how is your day. To check on me to see how the animals are. I work at home on our farm on my husband works a full time job. I sat back and looked through some old texts and at that moment I giggled.
      How the hogs, chickens ok, goats good, did you go horseback riding today?? Followed by don’t forget to ( adds various things) lol

  4. I said he only calls me when there is an emergency. But to be fair, he doesn’t have a cell phone so he has to borrow someone else’s phone. Although I guess, if he did have his own phone he still wouldn’t contact me as he does not show me love or give me attention in general. If he called me just to say “I love you,” I would probably faint. πŸ™‚

  5. Truthfully I am usually so busy during the day that a call to say he loves me would be sweet and appreciated but not necessary. And I definitely wouldn’t want him calling me every hour #suffocation

  6. Hi April, Yes he does.He has always worked 12 hours shifts and soon will be starting a new job with only 8 hour shifts which is nice. He always call me at least once a day sometimes more-just to see how my day is going and tell me about his. he always calls from his bluetooth in his car on his way home(he has a 1 1/2 hr drive so often we talk almost his whole way home. I look forward to reading your post you are working on.Thank you for everything April. Blessings xo

    1. Deb,

      I love that y’all use that time when he is commuting to connect with each other. That is awesome!

      I think this is a subject that is much needed. It looks like it is causing some angst and negative feelings for a lot of the ladies. I’m excited about having this discussion soon.

      πŸ™‚

      Much love!

  7. My husband and I work at our church together 3 days a week, which has been great! The texts I really love are the ones that are “unexpected”….like when he’s getting the car’s oil changed and texts me a sweet comment. Then I know he’s thinking about me outside of work, not just when we’re at the office together! ; )

  8. All,

    I really appreciate you taking the time to fill out the survey and for the comments you are sharing here. That helps me get a much better pulse on how everyone is doing with this issue and how to address it.

    Y’all are so precious to me!!!!!

    Much love!
    April

  9. Hi April, concerning to your question i would like tell you about me and my husband,,, for him he will contact me if there is something important or if he need something or if something that i need to know about which related to family or friends.

  10. My husband used to call me several times a day to talk about little stuff going on in his day. His job allows him plenty of time for phone calls. But recently he started calling his friends. Because they all have more fun conversations. And his calls to me dropped and now he stopped calling me. So I feel hurt now. It wouldn’t have bothered me, if he never had called me in the first place. But am used to getting that extra attention from him. Now am not getting it, so it upsets me. I dont know how to convince myself to be all right with this. Reading other wives responses had made me realise that it’s not that important for everyone. But i still want that connection from him. I feel hurt, so I withdraw my love n attention from him, when he comes home in the evenings. he gets busy in watsapp. So our communication is decreasing day by day. At least that’s how I feel. want to be able to love him, but I can’t seem to forgive him for neglecting me.

    1. Pal,

      I can understand why you are feeling hurt and I understand you wanting to withdraw from him. I think it is okay to share that you would like for him to continue to contact you sometimes and how loved that made you feel. How have you tried to share your feelings with him since this started happening?

      Would you be interested in finding healing over this issue and focusing on what you may be able to do on your end of things to create a warm, favorable atmosphere for your husband so that you might be able to restore the intimacy?

      Much love to you! And a huge hug!

      1. I have told him a lot to cal me at least once a day. In the beginning, he would call n then quickly finish off the call, so that he could get back to his friends. Whenever I called, he would be in a hurry to end the call, coz his friends are on hold. There are five or six of his friends. They all stay whole day in phone conference. It bugs me a lot. I feel jealous of his friends. Am a stay home mum, with no friends if my own. So I feel lonely. I just want a connection with him. Now I do want to get over these feelings, but how?? I do want to be happy without him. I got two daughters, both started school this year. So I just keep overthinking all the time. Exaggerating little things n making myself miserable.. Please Help me out..

        1. April can probably help more than I could, but have you tried joining a mom’s group? Maybe even the PTA at the school? It helps me not to over think things when I am busy and “my tank is full”. For me, a full tank is time with the Lord, some social time, being outdoors at least an hour a day, and getting stuff done around the house. For you, it may be different.

          Also, what are he and his friends talking about? Maybe you can connect with some people who will teach you about it, too, and take an interest. That way, you can have side by side time with him, doing something he enjoys.

          My husband LOVES yard sales, thrift stores, and swap meets. I used to hate it, but I have grown to love one next to us, and we make it a weekend trip every so often. πŸ™‚ He seems to really enjoy doing that with us. Maybe something like that could work for you, too. Lol

          1. BlessedOut,

            Solution: create a life for yourself at home that involves the things you want to do. It will make things way better for you, you will enjoy yourself more, you will find it easier to be a Mom to your kids, and you won’t be enmeshed with your husband It’s very important to develop other interests besides him. He is a separate person, even though you are married.

            My husband loves to check out thrift stores and yard sales, too. He would bring stuff home until we were swimming in it, and I would be wading through things. I would judiciously button my lip, swallow my concerns and keep wading through things until I developed chronic anxiety from having to shuffle stuff from place to place. Finally I decluttered — something that wasn’t his priority, but I had to deal with it every day, teach his children, etc. I got off a tranquilizer that I was on for anxiety, got a few pieces of furniture I really needed for homeschooling (which he wanted me to do, by the way) and made the necessary changes. I told him I didn’t like all this going to the thrift store without a plan and bringing home just anything. It’s CRUCIAL to keep your home manageable, especially if you are homeschooling. I cannot concentrate with clutter, nor can I really get anything done except face the mess and want to crawl back into bed where I can forget it all. Not working well.

            The solution for me has been to stonewall, although I realize that’s not the best, but I lack the verbal skills to make my point and put my view forward. The decibel level will raise so high and he is more of a “let’s debate this” person, whereas I cannot handle that; it’s just too traumatic. He puts on the boxing gloves while I go running for a place to hide. It didn’t work out for us. We are committed to our promises, though, and know this is about our kids and society’s future, not about us. I am profoundly grateful for that.

          2. zbexrel,

            I hope you will be able to reach out to a trusted, godly counselor who can get to know you in person and help you walk through this situation.

            It is okay for a wife to respectfully share what she needs. I believe we have a responsibility to do so.

            For those dealing with an emotionally abusive or toxic relationship, http://www.leslievernick.com may be a helpful resource.

            Much love, my dear sister!

        2. Pal,

          I’d love to help you! πŸ™‚ Are these friends also coworkers or business partners?

          How is your walk with Christ going at this point?

          What do you believe would make you feel content in life and fulfilled?

          What are your greatest fears?

          How do you measure your husband’s love for you?

          What are you doing for yourself to take good care of yourself?

          What do you believe God would like you to do with all of this extra time? Where is He calling you to go?

          Would you like to have some girl friends of your own?

          Much love to you!

  11. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I am very thankful that my husband wants to talk to me, even from work.

    That said, it sometimes feels like life would be easier if he didn’t. We have 3 kids, all of whom have some health issue or another, and I home school my eldest. There have been times I’ve worked on a lesson, or been driving to and fro from appointments, and he constantly calls to shoot the breeze. Like, almost every time I clamber into the car or am otherwise indisposed. I don’t think it would bother me so much if he were totally chill with the fact that, I, too, am busy sometimes and unable to talk. I don’t think he realizes it, but he has feigned disappointment and extreme sadness when I couldn’t talk, and also cut me off in conversation when I am talking about something that really matters to me (because he has to go). I don’t mind him cutting me off: I get it; his work is important. I just want to feel as if my work is important to him as well, and that it’s OK with him if I am in the middle of something and have to go.

    There have been other times where we have a difference of opinion, and he spends a great deal of time on the phone with me, trying to correct and convince me of his perspective. I have prayed about my viewpoint, asking God to convict me if I am wrong in my thinking. My husband sees it as a black and white area, whereas I ses it more gray. Anyway, I have no problem submitting to him in this, I just don’t personally agree. Of course I will honor his wishes and leadership as the head of the household. On days when he wants to convince me, rather than just enjoy my willingness to submit, I really wish he wouldn’t call from work. It seems to divide rather than unite, and I have always been better with writing my thoughts than speaking them anyway.

    Thanks for listening.

    1. Blessedout,

      I do think it is important that both spouses respect the work that the other needs to do and checks to make sure it is a good time to talk. That’s why I personally like texts or emails better! Then you don’t have to bother the other person, and they can get to it if they have time and not be interrupted. But sometimes, a call is more possible and practical – or a matter is more urgent.

      I am so glad that you are willing to honor your husband and submit to him. I do want you to have the freedom to disagree, as well. Will pray for God’s wisdom for you both about how to best handle this, my dear sister!

      Thanks for sharing! πŸ™‚

  12. I think it also bears mentioning :

    (on one of my answers, I said I would feel a little sad if I got no phone call. That is if he’s unreachable,like if he accidentally left his phone home. If I could call him, I wouldn’t feel sad in the least. πŸ™‚

  13. Hello
    Thankfully I can say, I feel very lucky my husband works very long hours during the week. But he always finds the time to text or call multiple times throughout the day. It can be just a I love you or miss you text to a hey how is your day going. I am blessed.

  14. Texting throughout the day is a really important part of my marriage. We sometimes find that it’s easier to say things (particular spiritual matters) in a text than it is face to face. I usually copy/paste a verse or two from my Bible app and send it to him and sometimes we chat about it. That is something we struggle to do in person. Also, even if the other person doesn’t have time to respond, a quick “I love you” or one of our inside jokes goes a long way to let each other know we’re thinking about one another and that we care. Technology has been really useful in our relationship during this season when we’re both working full time. I’m grateful for that opportunity to connect!

  15. For the past year my husband and I worked together as building managers. Half our calls and texts were building related but we would also said, “I love you” or “I miss you” texts when we haven’t seen each other for several hours.
    Although I will still miss seeing Chris everyday, now that we have left the job. I also know I won’t miss the strain it has placed on our marriage. (hard to be co-workers when I have to tell him what to do all day log and then switch that off and be a submissive wife at home!)

  16. My husband contacts me at least once a day (usually) for the sole reason to ask how the kids’ schoolwork is going. I usually say it’s fine. Generally, I am just a tad annoyed (although I don’t say so) when he calls because often he interrupts or it just isn’t convenient. I could care less if he calls or not. I do not feel connected to him whatsoever, so I don’t care one way or the other; it’s fine with me either way. The only time I start getting nervous is if it’s getting very late and only because I get a little worried that something may have happened to him. But usually he calls if he’s not going to be home on time, which I appreciate, and I tell him so. If he misses dinner at home, it’s perfectly OK with me, mostly because we have completely disengaged from one another and have no emotional connection whatsoever. We no longer sleep together or care, so actually the final poll question didn’t include one aspect — I would have added as a choice “totally fine because we no longer have any connection or relationship left at this point”.

    It’ll be two years in a month since we had any physical intimacy in our marriage. We have reduced our verbal communication to the barest essentials. It is getting better, though, because I’m more used to it and I am finding that I can move on better and better. I actually am beginning to like it.

    1. zbexrel,

      My heart breaks at the pain in your marriage. πŸ™

      I am praying for spiritual healing for you both in Christ. You can’t change your husband, of course. Only God can do that. I pray that He will heal him. But you can have the spiritually abundant life Christ offers no matter what your husband does. And you can be free of any bitterness, toxic thinking, etc…

      Much love to you!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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