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I’m Back!

 

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I spent a lot of time here – in my quiet time place – during my break πŸ™‚

 

The past month was a much needed time of rest for me. I appreciate your patience, understanding and support as I unplugged from the blog, FB and emails and really focused on God, Greg and our children.

The first few days were a bit rough! I have been posting almost every single day on my blog for 2.5 years. So, I think I was in a bit of withdrawal for awhile. The blog had taken over my life! It was HARD to set it down. Yikes! Blog addiction!!?!? Β I knew that was what God wanted me to do and I needed to do for my own spiritual, emotional, physical and mental health as well as for our marriage and for our children.

I had to really focus on being still, not rushing ahead of Greg or God, just being still.Β That was God’s clear assignment for me.

I even took my Twitter, Facebook and WordPress apps off of my cell phone and my tablet. That was a good thing.

I noticed some things changing in our schedule and in my priorities as I embraced the blogging/social media/emailing break:

  • I got into bed earlier and Greg and I had a lot more time for talking, connecting, intimacy and relaxing together.
  • I stayed in bed longer in the mornings with Greg.
  • I slept more! Β WOOHOO! (I struggle with chronic insomnia, so that was such a gift!)
  • I got to be more plugged in as a wife and mom.
  • I kept the house a good bit more organized and orderly.
  • I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and in prayer.
  • I didn’t feel as rushed mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I really felt like I was able to slow way down..
  • I didn’t feel as rushed with God. I needed that! I needed that time with God so much! I need that every day.

I can’t tell you what a joy this blog and ministry has been for me. It amazes me to see all that God has done in my own life and in so many of your lives. I know that God has me here for His purposes. I want to be the best possible steward of this ministry but also of my time with Him, with Greg, with my children and with every part of my life.

I care very, very much about each of you. I want to be able to personally respond, comment, and walk with each of you. I wish I could personally mentor every wife who wanted me to. I know how few godly wife mentors there are right now, and it breaks my heart. Reality is that the blog has grown so much that I could easily spend over 12 hours per day at this point just emailing wives individually who want to email me every day. Obviously, emailing 12 hours/day every single day is not something I can do.

Thankfully:

I don’t have all the answers every wife needs.

I am not the key.

Jesus is.

More than my advice, what each of us need is God’s Spirit being in control in our own hearts. As we seek Him wholeheartedly, fully submit to Him and repent of every sin He reveals to us… He will empower us to live in obedience to Himself and He will give us the wisdom we need for each situation by His Spirit and His Word.

Here is my plan right now:

  • I plan to post once a week for the rest of the summer.
  • When school starts, I may post twice a week, I will be praying for God’s wisdom and direction and consulting with Greg about that, as well.
  • When comments start to get very numerous – I may not address every comment – but focus on the people who are hurting, who are confused or who really need a response. I am SO thankful for all of your comments. I love how you encourage, pray for and bless our sisters (and brothers) in Christ. You are ALWAYS welcome to comment and welcome on my blog. I love seeing all of the discussion. So, please know your comments are welcome and I love to read them!
  • I need to depend more on some of the other wives who have been around the block a few times with these issues of growing spiritually and growing as a godly wife. I will need your input and help with some of the commenters who are discouraged, depressed, frustrated, lost and feeling hopeless. I can’t thank you enough for the way you love, encourage, pray for and support each other here!
  • I am going to have more limits on the amount of time I can spend on comments than I have had in the past.
  • There is just no way I can individually mentor wives or have an email ministry in addition to the blogs. It makes me so sad. But, right now, that is not what God is calling me to focus on. I will try to be as available as I can be on the blog.
  • I may need to take other blogging breaks in the future and will do so if/when necessary.

I learned a LOT over these past few weeks. I am able to see some areas where I need to grow and where I am very weak. I still have thousands of miles to go on this journey myself! Greg was able to open up more about what he wants and what he sees. I have been asking him what he wants me to change and what he sees that I need to stop or start doing. I have been open to his leading. But he hasn’t been saying much – until the past few weeks. I am SO THANKFUL that he was willing to be open and honest and transparent and say what he wants and needs. WOOHOO!!!!!!

It was painful. But I needed to hear what he had to say. Β 

Greg shared some things with me from his perspective like:

  • I’m very easy to please, which I can understand makes it difficult (for you to know what I think and what I want).
  • It’s nice if you are able to sleep. That’s something you’ve done much, much better at the last few weeks. You’ve been doing too much. That is obvious from how much better you have been sleeping. Comments are really what seems to be causing your biggest problems. You feel like you need to answer every one and answer them right away.
  • Every comment is not an emergency. Only read comments when you have time to respond. You don’t need to respond to every comment. (From April – once I read a comment, I can’t sleep because I am thinking about what I want to say. Not in a “stressed” way, but just in an “I can’t close that window on my computer screen” kind of way.)
  • Is a 2000 word comment from you to someone on the blog something you can really do?
  • I’d like you to spend more time writing books when the kids are back in school. You can sleep at night when you are writing a book.
  • I like it when you clean a little, not like a maniac (From April, I went a bit crazy the first few days I was offline with organizing and cleaning!! Oops!)
  • I definitely think our family should come above the blog (From April, I asked him to expand on what that would mean in detail, very helpful.)
  • What you have been doing is a little bit too much blog for me.
  • It’s hard for me to say, “Don’t go help someone who is hurting.”
  • What I want for you is to be healthy and balanced. You’re kind of like an elephant on a seesaw. I think just cutting back to a healthy number of blog posts will make a big difference.
  • Sometimes I feel like you think my time is not as important as your time.

 

Ouch!

But I needed to hear his honest assessment.

I am very grateful for Greg’s leadership and am seeking to honor him and what he has asked of me.

The past month has been very good. I relaxed some. I slept more.Β I spent a lot of time evaluating my life and my motives. I had the chance to work more in the pharmacy. I got to help at Bible School at my church. I got to do a lot of things with our children and with Greg. Β The past 4 weeks felt like SUMMER!

Today I will be sitting with my 92 year old wonderful grandmother after her cataract surgery early this morning. I will get to comments later when I am able to. πŸ™‚

I can’t wait to see all that we will all learn and how we will grow in Christ together. Thank you for being on this amazing journey with me.

I would love to hear what you have been learning and doing, too! I’m so excited to catch up with everyone! You are very precious to me. πŸ™‚

Much love!

April

132 thoughts on “I’m Back!

  1. I applaud your decision, April. God and ministry to family should always be the top priority. Though it may be hard to shift gears, this is very wise.

    Enjoy being fully present at home.

  2. Hello Peacefulwife

    I think your husband really gave you loving criticism, I am not sure if it should even be called criticism with all the love that precedes it.

    I think having a time to rest and rightly prioritizing your duties will make you into an even more peaceful wife.

    I unfortunately had the worst week this past week. We woke up with my husband not so happy because we were disagreeing in something and knew he wasn’t that happy with me that morning. What later broke my heart is when i saw him laughing and talking to one of his ex whom he had continued to flirt with even into our marriage. I guess there is nothing harmful about what he did but it reminded me of so many time that he intentionally did that knowing it would hurt, and honestly its hard to believe this time he was not doing it to hurt me even if he says so.

    Then i confronted him about it but felt no better, to a point where i scratched on his phone and found that he had been talking to another ex of his which hurt even more. We have been married for 2 and a half years now and i feel like our whole marriage i been asking him to stop and he hasn’t, i feel very disregarded by him in everything he does because he does those things knowing how it will affect. Then i start to wonder if i should even feel this way but this has hurt me so much more so because i have asked him time and again to stop, i found myself crying the whole of Saturday and feeling very depressed.So you should be sure there is no conversation that goes on between us except what who is going where when. I feel he has really pushed me away and broken me that I feel like being distant from him is even better and i feel safe knowing i am far from him and disconnected emotionally and he cant hurt me as much.

    I am so confused and broken

    1. Lovedwife,

      Yes, Greg’s words were totally out of love and I received them gladly. I appreciate his wisdom, insights and leadership very much!

      I am so sorry to hear about how difficult things are. Goodness! Adding exes into the picture complicates things a lot. And adding flirting outside the marriage is obviously not going to strengthen the marriage. πŸ™ Praying for God’s wisdom for you to seek Him with all your heart and to become the woman He desires you to be. Praying for wisdom for you about when to speak and when not to speak. and for the power of God’s Spirit for you to live out I Peter 3:1-6. I pray that God might draw your husband and you to Himself. I pray for His greatest glory.

      You are one with your husband – so it is impossible for you not to be hurt if he does something hurtful. My prayer is not that you would not be hurt – although I don’t want you to be hurt at all! But my prayer is for God to use this to be a catalyst to draw you nearer to Christ and to help you learn to find all of your contentment, purpose, identity, acceptance, love and life in Him alone. I also pray God might use it to wake your husband up and help him to see that what he is doing is destructive and wrong – flirting with exes. I pray that you might seek to build your marriage and your life on Christ alone and on His Word and that this fiery trial might help you to grow in your faith like never before.

      I also pray that you might find a godly mentoring wife who can help you navigate this situation in a godly way.

      Sending you a huge hug!!!!!!!!!

      1. Peaceful Wife

        thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I really do feel edified to seek God’s face more for me in this situation and for my marriage. May this time of my life be a time when I discover love based on Christ and Security only based on Christ, All that I am personally and in my marriage drawing only from who God is and not who my husband is.

        I thank God for you…so so much. Thanks for the big hug….
        Lots of love….

        1. Lovedwife,

          You are in a battle for your husband. Think of it this way. Fight for him. No man is attracted to a depressed and crying woman! He is married to you. Be joyful around him. Compliment him often. Fix his favorite food. Wear the clothes he likes on you best. You CAN win this battle! Never give up hope. Be daily in God’s Word. Ask your husband how you can better please him. Don’t ask about the exes and don’t snoop. Trust him. He wants you to trust him. There are so many things you can do since you get to live with this man. NEVER give up hope! With God, ALL things are possible.

          1. Lori

            thank you so much for your words of encouragement, I feel really encouraged. I thank God for this Blog.

            God bless you

    2. Lovedwife. It is hard not to react and become inquisitive if you are hurt, however you cannot hold a tight grip on him the harder you try to hold on the more you will push him off.
      Hold loosly. God can use anything for his good even bad and hurtful things. Your joy and peace comes from God and not from your husband.
      If my husbands makes sarcastic remarks I choose now not to react to that. I think to myself now hold your tongue, or do not say he is wrong do not refuse this or do not do it my way behind his back. I believe hiis remarks are based in feeling disrespected. Sometimes it makes me feel disconected as if I am acting. As if I am not true to my feelings but I have also seen how I feel a love growing in me that is not connected to what my husband does or does not do but like a wondering feeling as if seeing him anew.
      If you feel the coversation is just practical things than let that be. It can give rest just to not try to get him to be intimate and confidential. Focus on what he does do for you,
      It is strange but simply telling myself not to force my husband to answer me taught me that he will bring things up in his time. And sometimes he will not , that is okej for he does not answer to me. To let go means to not try and force any outcome but leave in the hands of God. Simply trust is what it comes down to for me. I cannot force my husband nor change him, and if I do the outcome is mostly not what I wanted and I caused more damage than I ever can repair.
      I now it is hard not to let the hurt control you but maybe after a good cry you can say, Lord you know my pain, I now you are here for me and I trust you and then let it be.
      Keep heart and be blessed

      1. Tabitha

        I cannot fully express how grateful I am for your godly wisdom. I really do want my whole emotional and mental state to be based on God and not my husband. thank you so much for your wisdom, i feel so comforted and loved.

        I will definitely take your advice, may God continue to grow you in his love. I want that too to feel a new love grow from within me for my husband, a love that is not affected by who he is or what he does but a loved totally influenced by God Himself.

        all my love..

    3. Lovedwife, I would like to suggest something. I read a book once that talked about this. Try your best to be a smiling, happy wife. Your husband will be drawn to you. He is drawn the his exes because they are probably smiling and happy. (now that they are not with him) I know right now it will be hard. You are hurt and and confused. But, fight these women with their own weapons. If you and your husband are disagreeing on something, try putting it aside and being as joyful as you can. There is nothing wrong with you saying you don’t like when he talks to his exes and ask him to stop. But, don’t make him agree and don’t sulk about it. You are only responsible to God for your behavior. Let God deal with his bad behavior.

      1. Daisymae,
        Thanks for sharing! Husbands are attracted to a happy wife, not a sad, depressed, angry wife, that is for sure. We can find real joy and peace in Christ, then she can give us the power to have real smiles and real joy that is so very deep.

        I have a post on smiling, my readers can search “smile” on my home page. Another great idea is to seek God’s help to stop arguing and complaining. That is a command to all believers in Philippians 2:14-16. You can search my home page for the post “a challenge for you”

        I love the support, encouragement, ideas and prayer that our sisters in Christ offer to each other here! So beautiful!

      2. Daisymae

        Thank you so much, it means a lot to have your contribution and i totally understand what you are saying.

        1. Just wanted to share a prayer that helped me from Prov. 31 daily devo.
          Dear Lord, show me the empty places in my heart and the ways I try to fill them. Then lead me back to you & show me how I can position my heart to be filled & fulfilled by your promises & the power of your love.

          I read this after I, once again, snapped at my husband. I feel like I was looking at him to fill one of those empty places…..it will not get us anywhere….

  3. Welcome back! I know I speak for many when I say we really missed you! I let out a happy squeal just now when I saw your new post notification in my inbox. You have helped my marriage in so many ways in the past few months. I really appreciate how your blog provides specific real life examples and suggestions. It feels like my eyes have been opened. I feel deep regret at all the years I spent picking on my husband to conform to my expectations. Such a waste. He left for his annual week long camping trip with the guys at a music festival last week and it is the first time in 10 years that we did not have a screaming match before he left. He also called me to say he missed me almost every night which was something new. So THANK YOU.
    I would love you to blog and answer comments 24/7 LOL! But I think just having a place to post comments and questions even if they are answered by other women is helpful. Your advice is gold, and you have such a kind and gentle manner. But your family comes first and I just appreciate having this forum even if you can’t personally respond to each comment. Maybe we could have a place to post “Help me! Advice needed! ” and other experienced wives could chime in as well as you when you can. I do appreciate having a safe place to ask advice and follow good examples of other wives. I can’t turn to my real world friends. Their advice includes: withhold sex, silent treatment, stop cooking dinner until he does what I want around the house, etc.They are amazing women in so many ways, just not where I want to be in my marriage. I have so far to go! Thank you for all you do. You are an inspiration to me!

    1. Amy,

      Aw! πŸ™‚

      I am thrilled to hear what God is doing in your life and that you had peace when he was leaving for his trip and that he called to say he missed you. WOW!

      Thank you so much for sharing!! I will definitely pray about your suggestion. I completely agree, many real life friends do not offer biblical counsel to us about marriage and we can get ourselves into quite a mess if we follow worldly wisdom. I’m very thankful for this blog and forum and pray God might use it to bless every wife who reads here.

      May Jesus alone be exalted! πŸ™‚

      Much love!
      April

  4. Hi April, Nice to see your blog post.

    I praise God for what he’s done for you and through you to others.

    I had a major breakthrough in my life in last few months. My husband planned a small vacation for me as gift for my birthday in June, while our marriage was cringing on past hurts. I thought maybe we could spend time together and make up. However, on the first day of the trip my husband fell very sick and my holiday ended up nursing him, and managing baby.. But this helped me a lot to understand a lot. I spent my time on vacation in a lot of introspection, and prayer. I came back with a lot of goals… Again we had a short trip with my husbands cousins in the first week of July. A lot of time for me to relax and pray and ask God to lead me. I came back and started working on myself in all areas of my life – marriage, work, family.. One huge learning in the last few months was to understand the difference between Trivial many and Vital few (http://vinoreflections.wordpress.com/2014/07/04/trivial-many-vital-few/). As i keep making progress God is helping me as I draw close to him. One area im looking forward to discipline is have my solid close time with God in mornings as soon as I get up…. God has also been using me to mentor one wife who is struggling hard… All Praise and Glory to God… And I thank you April for this blog which definitely had a positive impact on my life.

    Lots of Love,
    Vinodhini

  5. Welcome back! I’m so happy you were able to have such a productive break.

    (No response needed or expected. πŸ™‚ )

  6. Welcome Back! It was a great surprise to see your post this morning. I’ve enjoyed simply reading back through your blog during your break. You do a work for marriages teaching both men and women how to center themselves on Christ.

  7. hi April, Welcome Back!

    I completely agree with everything you have said!

    I just wanted to say that whilst you were away, my husband was baptised! it was beautiful, in the sea and the whole family came, including his parents! things are much improved and there are still ups and downs but we are still learning and growing. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t changed myself first! your blog helped me get closer to God and explained where I might be going wrong (despite how my husband behaved!)

    This blog is amazing and I am able to recommend it to some new church friends i’ve made which is great. I wonder if it might be worth adding a ‘forum’ where wives may be able to discuss things ‘grouped together’ with different topics, so they are relevant to particular struggles. I don’t know, its just an idea, as I guess it would still need moderating…but anyhow, I just love all the valuable information on here.
    I am so glad you have a good break and will still be around! much love xx xxx loving Peacefulwife x

    1. April,

      Welcome back!

      I agree that adding a new “Forum” section to your sites will be very helpful for future interactions.

      By selecting a few women (such as PWP) to moderate those forums, you will be able to step-back from your time commitments to the site and disable your comments sections to posts. Your forums, then, will manage specific situations when people need help.

      More importantly, those forums will allow public conversation threads to be merged and remain on-topic, while allowing moderators to message forum users privately with personalized responses to thier needs, reducing your home email activity as well.

      Even more helpful will be the included ability to Google search user comments in forum threads based upon topics of interest – all from outside your site, and those forum comments will also become searchable directly from within your site search bar, allowing visitors to the site to find additional help related to their requersts, without requiring further click navigation. Currenlty, your comments sections are not included in your site search results (just the main article content that you post). As it stands now, users must remember which articles/posts included which user comments if they wish to revisit them. Forum comment searches will increase user interaction and efficiency.

      The one possible downside would be that forums would require users to create accounts with which to post and identify comments, and some visitors might prefer not to share their personal email addresses with another site/service. This would probably only be a concern for a smaller minority of people, as those serious about finding help will likely create accounts to find the help they need, or be okay reading the advice meant for others.

      I assume you would welcome the help of a few women to moderate your forums, allowing you to come and go as you please to focus on your family.

    2. JuR,

      I am so excited about your husband getting baptized! YAY!!!!!!!!

      So many answers to prayer in your life. I just PRAISE GOD for each one!

      I need to do some praying about getting some moderators on board to help me, I think. I appreciate the idea very much!

      Much love!

  8. Hello dear April and wives,

    I am so grateful for this ministry. April I applaud you for walking out what you teach so gracefully even now – as you have shared with us intimately what your husband shared with you over this past month and your obedience to him within it.

  9. Advice welcome from all:

    My dear friend whom I love and cherish is having such a struggle in her marriage. She has been texting me about how disappointed she is in her husband. How he is selfish, stubborn, weak and lazy.(her words, I think he is a great guy!) They are making a decision whether to sell their home or make renovations. He wants to sell. She wants to tear it apart and stay. He wants a fire pit. She wants an outdoor seating area, etc, etc. Bitter fights are breaking out. I love her and want to help. Do I stay out of it? Do I ask her “what is more important, your house or your marriage?” I am in such a different place right than I was 6 months ago. Now I would know to tell my husband to make the decision he thought best for our family. I would realize that peace and my marriage is more important than an outdoor seating area or a finished basement. I also want to tell her that her husband is more apt to give her what she wants if she lets him lead. I’m afraid if I say this she will think that I am not in her corner. It is like when someone quits smoking or goes on a healthy diet and all they do is preach to others and that gets old really fast. I don’t want to be that friend. But I want to help!

    1. I think I would ask her if she really wants advice or if she’s just venting. Because if she’s just venting she’s not gonna listen to advice.
      Saying a prayer for the conversation & for your friend!

    2. Hi Amy! If this friend is a follower of Christ, then certainly let her know these things. Let her know you love her and remind her of the covenant she and her husband made before God. Is that not so much more important than “getting our way” in an earthly home? You made some wonderful points, as well. When we follow Jesus, we are guaranteed to gain dislike from those following the world. I pray you will be bold for the sake of your friend’s marriage and lovingly share what God has laid on your heart with her. I pray the Holy Spirit will soften your friend’s heart, so she supernaturally understands the damage being done to her marriage through disrespect. That she will desire to submit to her husband out of reverence to Jesus.

      1. Thanks! These things are so hard to see when all you want is your own way! I’m going to try to talk to her tomorrow. I appreciate your advice.

    3. Hi Amy!

      Since your friend obviously is in a harried place right now, it may be that no amount of posturing or giving of advice might work since she is hurting. She may even feel attacked at the moment if she hears that it is she who is also partly at fault. Maybe, as a friend, tell her that you are there for her in this difficult time and that she should not make any decision like “tearing the house apart and staying” while in that unfortunate state of the soul. She will regret a lot of things too if she continues to speak her heart out against her husband and for behaving badly. Tell her to calm down… Then, pray for her. Ask if you can pray with her.

      Then, after she is calm and therefore open to advice, can you tell her about “winning her husband over without a word, when he sees the purity and reverence in her life. She must respect her husband (even if he seems to be not worthy of it, from her point of view, at the moment!)”

      I say this because basing it from experience, when I am agitated and angry and resentful, I am not open to criticism, whether positive or (and especially if!) negative. Calming down does give others room to talk sense into me. πŸ™‚

      After you do your part as her friend, all you can now do is leave it in God’s Hands and cover her and her husband in prayer.

      Hope that helped somehow.

      Love,

      Nikka

      P.S. I missed you so much, April! You know that! Love you, my friend. <3

        1. Nikka, thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I missed April so much, but also the other women who are so willing to offer suggestions and advice. I agree that my friend is in no place to make major decisions right now. I am going to talk to her tomorrow. I definitely don’t want to come across as critical in the least. I have been in her position before!

    4. Amy,

      It seems to me that you have some valuable wisdom to share. I don’t know what her relationship is with Christ. But, saying that one thing, “What is more important, your house or your marriage?” (if you are listening carefully to the prompting of God’s Spirit) may be a wake up call that she needs.

      The things you want to say to her are sure things I would want to share, too. I believe that she may be able to hear you more clearly than her husband right now. You can certainly first say that you love her and want God’s best for her. You can ask her if you can share what God has been doing in your life. Or you may just decide to come straight out and share what God has been changing in you. God may help her connect the dots. Or, there may be a specific post that you could send her that may help. Or, there may be a book that really helped you that you want to recommend. Praying for you to be very sensitive to God’s Spirit’s prompting. And I pray God might open your friend’s eyes and bring her to Himself and bring healing to her marriage for His greatest glory!

      You may want to check out this one about giving godly marriage advice to friends.

      You can search my home page for:
      – expectations
      – idol
      – idolatry
      – discontentment
      – But I’m Right!
      – Superman
      – husband lead
      – contentment
      – lordship of Christ
      – control
      – signs your husband may be feeling disrespected

      Much love ego you!

    5. Amy, I would also share information of this blog to her, whenever I tell friends who are controlling and hurting I do not so much tell them what to do but sometimes refer to the bible in a kind of jesting way then when they protest I will go a litle deeper and turn more serious and confey that I really believe that and how I try to live that out, often I add how I also fail so they see I am not some perfect one doing the impossible and this does create interest and they do come back with questions. I point them to this blogg and invite them to read here. It does sadden me if I do not see them take it in. I do not stop there but will pray for them and then come back with little remarks to tickle them I did not get people irritated yet.
      If I cannot confront someone I will openly say things like, no I cannot don that my husband will not allow or I have to ask my husband about that. This is so not of this world that I do get their attention and from there I sometimes can point to the bible.
      It is amazing this blog has been such a blessing for me.
      I am still failing in many ways but when I get it right it does give joy such that I do want to give this to others.

  10. Welcome back, April! Seeing your new post in my inbox brightened my morning! πŸ™‚

    Sounds like your husband’s thoughts about the blog are very wise. You had mentioned several times on your posts about the dilemma you’ve had over how much time and energy you were spending on the blogs. I’m glad that in setting the blogs aside, your husband felt more free to further express his feelings to you so that you could really hear him!
    This past month, I, too, have been learning that it is nice to be needed, but that for the past year I had given away my BEST thoughts, time, and energy to a struggling friend, while my family often got the leftovers (and not my full attention, as that thought tape was always running in the back of my mind about my friend’s situation and what I needed to say to be a daily encouragement.) It was draining! So, on a much smaller scale, I think I am also learning the importance of balance.

    I pray you don’t go back to the same struggles. I think it will be easy to do, and it could happen without you even realizing it! So, as much as we love you and the blogs, please tread carefully! We want Greg to continue to bless and support your ministry here so that you can continue being the beautiful light for Christ and his design for wives in marriage!

    Love, Heather (HisHelper)

    1. Heather,

      Yes, one of my greatest concerns is that I will allow myself to be sucked back into spending way too much time ministering to everyone but my family. I definitely would appreciate prayers! And accountability!!! πŸ™‚

      I’m glad that you have seen what has been out of balance in your life, too, and that you are focusing more on God, your husband and family.

      I have a lot of praying to do about exactly how to navigate things from here. I probably need to involve more women to help with moderating and encouraging hurting wives.

      Thank you for sharing. Yes, I am so VERY blessed that Greg shared his heart and wisdom. I need his leadership!!!! πŸ™‚ God sure knows what He is doing!

      Much love!
      April

  11. April:
    You are back even sooner than I expected you to be…but it is good that you are back. I am glad that you had some time to relax and to get a break from staying up thinking about comments! I know that you said that you do not do that in a “stressed” way, but that would surely be stressful to me..so I am happy that you got a break from that! I know late last year, not long after I started reading your blog (or maybe it was early this year), you had planned to spend less time on the blog. So it seems to be something that you have been seriously thinking of for quite a while now…………. Understandably the comments/emails would be the most stressful as most bloggers do not have those components so heavily integrated in what they do.

    Looks like you might be moving more in the direction of book writing, if I am understanding right – but whatever you do, I am sure it will bring glory to God.

    I wish you all the best in deciding what is best for you, your family – and most of all — in doing what God has called you to do.

    You are such a blessing.

    1. Aw! Thank you so much, prayinglikehannah! I appreciate the love, encouragement, prayers and support more than I could possibly say. Thank you for being such a friend. πŸ™‚

      Yes, I have known things were not balanced for some time, but trying to make them be balanced was difficult as the blog kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. This is new territory for me! I haven’t had such a high volume before and I am on a learning curve! The things I used to be able to do don’t work now. I have such a retail pharmacists’ mindset of giving “great customer service” to every single “customer.” I want to be there for everyone individually. I used to be able to do that when the blog was smaller. But now – I can’t possibly! I would be spending over 12 hours/day at this point just doing emails if I tried to individual email everyone who wants to email. Even I can see that is not possible.

      I would like to write more books. I have quite a few in mind that I want to write. So I am praying about that, too.

      Yes, my prayer is that I will be obedient to what God calls me to do and that He might be greatly glorified in my life. I desire Him to increase and me to decrease and for Him to be exalted!!

      Much love!

  12. From a woman who was in full-time ministry I completely understand. And please I don’t need you to respond back to me. My husband said a lot of the same things to me but it wasn’t comments in a blog i was posting. It was woman who wanted to meet face to face or volunteers who needed to vent. I would go to bed exhausted but couldn’t sleep. My phone was constantly going off. My kids sometimes didn’t see me til 9 pm at night. That wasn’t ok. But it took my husband voice for me to understand.
    I read a quote right before I stepped out of full time ministry that read ” The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home”. Wow. That was when I knew God was telling me I wasn’t caring for my responsiblities he have me first. Praying for you! And bless you and your family.

    1. graceandgravy, thanks for sharing that quote…it speaks to me in that it is so easy to neglect your family while trying to save the world….I need to take some of my great ideas & start within the walls of my own home…love that.

  13. It did put a smile on my face to see the post this morning!! Welcome back April, & I know that in seeking Him first you will make the right decisions for you & your family. For myself, I think I may have been relying more on the blog than digging in to His Word. Although I get so much out of all the scripture references here too. I love the “support group”, if you will. It’s too easy to slip back in to some of those destructive ways – I look forward to your once a week post & just learning from each other.

  14. To God be the Glory!! and GOOD FOR YOU SISTER!!! Food for thought…anything that keeps the Christ lover from bearing fruit….should be cut off completely. When I disconnected from FB and Twitter in 2010, my children observed the fruit and decided to disconnect as well. Do what the Lord leads!! Amen.

  15. As others have already said, it put such a smile on my face to see a new post from you this morning!

    Thank you for being so honest and transparent about what you’ve learned, and how your husband shared his heart with you. I’m sure some of those things were difficult to hear, but also must be comforting to know that he is willing to be so open with you and know you will not “flip out”.

    During your break, I have learned to rely more heavily on God for direction and stabilization. Getting my emotions under control is still something I am working on. (Like last night, my husband took something I’d said out of context and told me I’d “said” something I hadn’t meant at all – regarding another person’s situation – and it made me pretty upset. I went into the restroom and cried, berating myself for sharing my thoughts. I realize now that was ridiculous!) I have GOT to learn to get a hold of my emotions, my thoughts, to take every thought captive and allow God’s truth to soak into my mind and heart so that I don’t allow the enemy to make situations worse.

    I have such a long way to go, to stop manipulating (I tell myself that’s not what I’m doing but if I really dig down into my heart, it is) and to fully trust God, but I have come a LONG, long way to the point where my husband thinks it would be a great idea for me to host a small group for wives about respect and Biblical submission. I would love to do that and have checked into Respectfully Yours, the study by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs.

    My husband and I have an incredible marriage, and that’s largely in part due to what I’ve learned through your blog, even before I met my husband! I’ve been learning and growing and will continue to learn and grow. My passion and my heart have always been for women in general, but now I have a desire to minister specifically to wives about respect and submission, and while I know now isn’t the time for full-time ministry for me yet, I’m so excited when I have the opportunity to minister to one or two wives here and there.

    You are a blessing and you are definitely bearing good fruit. Thank you for your ministry, your wisdom, and your obedience to God and to your husband. You are loved!

    1. M,

      Yes, I had hoped that Greg would feel free to share those things much earlier. But I am very glad he did share them now. It was hard to hear – but I am so thankful he shared as he did. It helps me to understand his needs much better and how my priorities have been too slanted to ministry outside the home.

      I am so excited about what God is doing in you! WOOHOO! I know He has brought you a long way. We all have much, much more to learn – every day for the rest of our lives! But I sure do love sharing this journey with you. πŸ™‚

      I am thrilled to hear that your husband would like for you to minister to wives. I haven’t heard of that study Respectfully Yours. That sounds amazing!

      Please let me know how you are doing and what God is showing you and what you think of the material if you do that study.

      Much love!
      April

      1. I am so grateful to be on this journey with you, too! I will definitely let you know what I think of the material once we’re able to purchase the study. I’m excited about it!

    2. M, a friend of mine and I have been working on our emotions this summer. We were both such a mess. We took offense to little things and our emotions just spiraled out of control and of course the enemy loved that. We started speaking truths to our husbands and to ourselves rather than taking offense. Some times I just speak a truth to myself, like, “He must be having a bad day, but this is his problem not mine. I won’t let this steal my joy. I am sure he will be over it soon.” Or at times I spoke truth to my husband without getting upset, like “I am sorry you feel that way, I am not going to argue with you.” We found that it helped so much with ourselves and our husbands. Getting emotional and upset all the time was like a horrible roller coaster ride. Letting our husbands be upset and letting them get over it worked so much better.

      1. daisymae,

        Those are very wise words! It almost seems like sometimes because we are so used to that feeling of defeat or self-deprecation, it starts to be comfortable and we’d rather continue feeling that way than speak those words of truth to ourselves. I know I can be like that. Sometimes I just want to wallow in self-pity. That’s awful! I love the words of truth you speak to yourself, and I love your response to your husband. Thank you so much for sharing!

        1. I sure appreciate all the comments as I feel like there are ways to apply these principles in all kinds of situations!! Excited for you, Amy, to possibly start a new beginning! What a blessing for your willingness to make the efforts here (even if you don’t feel like it) at times!! I know I have areas in which I need to do the same.

  16. It’s refreshing I’m sure for you to know that God is still God even if you take a break from blogging!! It’s beautiful to see you leading from example and making your husband and kids priority over your work. I know what you mean about feeling the need to respond to every comment and every hurting wife. Sometimes with comments we just need to vent…and God will speak to us. Plus, there are a lot of other wives around to boost our spirits! We have to learn to walk this thing out!!

    Still can’t thank you enough for your blog and if you never wrote another word, there is plenty of wisdom and investment here to see a return in God’s kingdom for marriage and family. Great job April! I’m sure you and your hubby have talked about it…but turning this into a small source of income would be good if you can manage to slowly crank out a few digital e-books or CD recordings for the car and put them for sale on here!

    1. Crystal,
      Thank you so much for sharing!

      I have never monetized the blog. We have talked about it – but I have no clue about such things. We may look into it. πŸ™‚

      I am working on the book. Hope to have news to share soon. πŸ™‚ Thank you for the great ideas! And for the encouragement.

      I’m so thankful that God is working in your life. I am amazed how far He has brought you since we met. I have to give Him all the praise and glory for that!

      Much love!

  17. Hooray! I really missed the wisdom I glean from you and other commenters. I think many are realizing our Christian communities are devoid of people who understand TRUE Biblical marriage, so this place serves as our “community.” Welcome back!

  18. Hey April!!
    So happy that you got the time you needed to recoup. Your blog has been such a blessing to me and I am so very grateful for you and the other commenters. I have definitely gained a much better perspective towards my marriage and my husband through your encouraging blogs and most importantly through the Word of God.

    I’ve stopped focusing so much on the things that are wrong with my marriage and begin to look at the things that are great. Since I’ve stopped being so critical and controlling (which has gotten easier I should say) I’ve noticed my husband starting to open up more and respond in the ways I so desired for so many years. Who knew!! I try to work on my self, my responses, my behavior and stopped trying to change him. I am allowing the peace of God dwell in my spirit and showing more love and adoration.

    We went on a short road trip this weekend and I just enjoyed the ride. It was something he wanted to do and I asked if I could ride along. In the car we talked about the fact that he didn’t consider asking me to go since he thought that I wouldn’t want to go look at old cars. I let him know that it was more for me about getting to spend time with him. I didn’t talk much or bring up any “issues”. I wanted it to be a nice trip where we could just enjoy each other’s presence and it was a success.

    I’ve learned so much about myself these past 6 months; many things I am ashamed of. I hate how much I’ve criticized him and made him feel unappreciated (his words). Now I am sure to let him know how much I appreciate the things he does especially what I know is important to him like keeping the yard nice. We recently had a new security system installed and I told him how much I appreciated him doing this for me as I remember telling him about being afraid to be home at night while he works. I know he had that in mind when he chose this more expensive system. So again, I am so happy that you were able to get some rest and get some new perspective. I look forward to continuing in this journey along with you and the others.

    Be blessed.

    1. InSearchofPeace,

      Your story brings me happy tears of joy!!!! WOW!

      Thank you so much for sharing what God has been doing in your heart and about your trip this weekend. What a blessing to hear from you!

      Sending you a huge hug!

  19. Hi April, welcome back. I have been following you blog for quite sometime now although been very silent – not commenting on posts. I have been truly blessed and learnt alot. While you took the break, I was reading the Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee and I am currently at the penultimate chapter – thanks for suggesting this. Very very useful and explains in much detail what God has been teaching me lately on the Cross of Christ. Blessings!!

    1. Favouredoiza,
      I’m so glad to hear from you -and that you got to read Watchman Nee’s book. I think it should be a must-read for every believer! Thank you for sharing and for the encouragement!!!

  20. Good for you!

    Setting boundaries is so important, and a lesson in maturity that God has for you next, since your blog has become so successful! Greg’s point of view is not only good to help him (and your children), but he clearly sees that which you need for yourself and wants what’s best for you. He can confidently tell you more that you need to hear as you have come so far in your peaceful walk that YOU can receive better (less ego, right? I speak it because I know the feeling!) nowadays.

    As you continue along, God can grant you discernment about Greg’s “advice” and intentions. (There will be lessons in that to come, believe me, that will show you that once you learn to lean on your Godly husband, God will want you to lean back upon Him as well to recognize that Greg is your husband, not the Holy Spirit! lol)

    Cutting back – not just on number of replies, but on time spent, will be great for you. “I’m going to spend x hrs/week on my blog (i.e. x hrs on comment replies, etc) and divide that into these sections per day…” Some intention-driven structure is going to really help you. You can stick to limits even when the “addiction-feeling” kicks in with that rush feeling trying to get you to stay online when your pre-set beepy buzzer alarm goes off and says time to unplug! When your blog is so popular, even 1 minute per comment could really add up to = craziness. It’s hard to say “no” to people who seem to need you; imagine what Jesus went through with the masses! He had to rely on God and really sweat it out sometimes.

    It’s also sometimes lonely and/or scary when people turn those screws and let you know how much they’d like to use you more, more, more, more…. Also not pretty to face, but there’s a worldly greed that loves all that attention and wants more, more, more as well. It’s true! Times when I’ve felt that way I have some humor about it and force myself to shrug, saying, “Hey, sometimes it’s lonely at the top.” It’s funniest in your best New York accent. But really I’m picturing the “top” as a beautiful quiet mountaintop where I can get on my knees (or even full face plant) in front of God for a grateful and much needed recharge!

    God will lift those who need help most toward your eyes and attentions, I really trust this. And if not on occasion, well, maybe He has a different plan for that person, to empower them to ask their husband, turn to Him, get in the word, give, etc. And something another commenter said was so true: we readers truly do get value just by reading your helpful, honest and heartfelt initial posts, then if we want more we can dive into each others comments, along with any (albeit even if limited!) replies by you as well as others. They provide comfort, catharsis, camaraderie and shared experiences and advice that can be read and re-read so long as the post is available to look at. God speaks through them sometimes as well.

    No one gave you an assignment that you needed to fix us all. You are a lamp unto our feet and speaking soft words to those of us who wish to live as submissive wives with happy husbands and households. It’s wonderful. God will heal us all; you don’t need to do His job.

    Bless You!

    1. MS,
      Aw! Thank you so much for this! I have thought before that I may need a cage with a lock to come down over the computer after a certain amount of time! Ha!

      I DEFINITELY need to watch the amount of time I spend. Even though ministry is good – it is possible to spend way too much time on it and miss out on even more important priorities.

      And yes, I have experienced that many people will depend on me too much or depend on me instead of God or expect more and more from me. My prayer is to point people to Christ and to exalt Him.

      Parts of this journey are REALLY tough. And they require a lot of personal wrestling with God. I didn’t have a mentor when I began this journey. I had about 30 books in 2 years, my Bible, my journal and God. It was very frustrating at times, trying to reinvent the wheel in many ways to understand what on earth godly femininity and being a godly wife meant. I long to be able to be used by God to connect the dots closer for the women who come behind me. But I also realize that my not having a mentor forced me to depend on God alone. That was a GOOD thing. There is no way around that – no short cuts.

      Thank you for your insights, wisdom and ideas. I will carefully and prayerfully consider everything you said. You are a blessing!

  21. Hi, April. Glad you’re back!

    In Exodus 18:13-27, Moses’ father-in-law Jethro noticed that the people came to Moses for judgment from morning till night. He advised Moses to teach the people God’s laws, and to appoint able men to help him judge the people, so that Moses wouldn’t get worn out judging the people all by himself.

    Perhaps you could benefit from doing something like this.

  22. Hi April,
    I have just recently started reading your blogs. God has already done miracles in my marriage since I have been obeying his word. I want to thank you for being an inspiration! It seemed like I could not find the answer to a happy marraige. About two weeks ago I had an something very supernatural happen to me. It was as if God took the blinders off of my eyes and allowed me to see how I had been treating my husband for the last two and half years. Without your wisdom through the Lord I truly believe my husband would have left. Please know I have listened to your videos many times and cried and asked God for forgiveness. Thank you for being a vessel of Christ and allowing God to work through you to minister to women like myself who truly need it. I will be forever greatful for your wisdom on how to be a Godly wife. Thank you!

    Tonya Roberts

    1. Tonya,

      WOOHOO! I praise God for what He is doing in your life. I had a moment like that 5.5 years ago – God removed the blinders. It’s pretty terrifying to see our sin all the sudden when we thought we were so awesome, isn’t it?

      I pray you will pursue Christ with all your heart and that He might continue to work in you and transform you into His beautiful image for His greatest glory!

      Much love!

  23. Dear April, you were greatly missed, so welcome back! I think what this past month has taught me that as much as getting feedback from you, to some of my very difficult issues, ultimately you too are only human, with your limitations, and the only one I can run to every time is our Lord Jesus. Still, so great to have you back, even if I appreciate in a slightly mire limited capacity. You are right, there is such a lack of godly wife stewards and that is why your ministry is invaluable….. Blessings, M

  24. All of you here who answered my comments thanks verry much, I did not answer back all but I heard you and it made a huge difference. I still have a long way to go but the change inside is so profound and deep I hardly can describe it.
    Most helpfull for me was Nees book it turned me upsidedown.
    Thanks for being here for this blog for all you who commented and for the links you gave me

  25. I’m glad your break was refreshing and full of purpose and answers πŸ™‚

    You’ve been missed dearly.

    I’ve struggled. Things aren’t any better really. Celebrated 11 years of marriage and whilst that was a nice time it was like as soon as we got the kids back from our 2 night get away and back to work it all went downhill again.

    I’m still seeking God, praying, trying my best. Just not feeling hopeful.

    1. GWTB,

      Happy Anniversary!

      I am so sorry that things are so hard. Being married to an unbeliever would present so very many difficult obstacles and challenges. I am so thankful that our God is able to make something beautiful from this situation. How I pray you will have the time you need with Him and that you might allow Him to empower you to soar on wings like eagles even in the midst of this fiery trial.

      Thank you so much for sharing!
      How is your time with God going, my beautiful sister?

      1. Thanks April

        Time with God is going well πŸ™‚ I’m trying to counteract anything negative hubby says about me or to me with the truth. Trying to be very quick to forgive and bless him.

        1. Godlywifetobe,
          I am so glad you are seeking God and focusing on pleasing Him and His approval. Praying for God to give you His power to bless and encourage your husband and to be faithful to Him. πŸ™‚

    2. Thanks Kelly for sharing.

      My biggest issues I think are me wanting him to be godly (hard when he’s unsaved) and for him to speak to me and the kids with love, respect, and honour and to include us in his goals and plans.

  26. I opened my email sitting in line at the bank drive through yesterday and saw “I’m back!” and I said “YES!” hahaha..It is good to have you back but totally understand Greg’s advice to you. I find myself spending too much time reading blogs and researching so I can only imagine the time you were spending trying to answer each individual who commented on your posts.

    I’ve read most of the comments and really love some of the ideas folks had for using your blog as a place where we can help each other. There are enough wives on here with a great variety of issues going on to be able to somewhat be a help to each other without you having to spend so much time mentoring us!

    I look forward to your weekly posts, your upcoming book and possible convention you mentioned a while back.

    Things are about the same in my marriage although new things have come to the surface. Not bad things, just more to pray about and seek God’s will. I too have to get my emotions under control and learn to think and pray before I speak. I still have my small group meetings with the same few wives we started out with a few months ago. We are really helping each other by praying and being available day and night if one of us has a crisis.

    I would be interested in helping moderate and encourage wives on your blog. Just tell me what you need me to do!

    Thankful for the knowledge you have shared with me and mostly for the one thing you have reiterated time and time again that I still struggle with and that is “be careful to watch your motives and it has to be all about me and God not me and my husband.”

    Welcome back, but keep your distance so you aren’t sucked back in!

    1. LTL,

      Praying for wisdom for you and for God’s will and His power and glory in your life and marriage my precious sister!

      I am so excited about the small group you have with some other wives. How I wish every wife could have a group like that!

      Thank you also for your willingness to help moderate. I will be in touch!

      Yes, those motives! They are something we have to watch every day for the rest of our lives. It’s pretty scary how quickly sinful motives can sneak in without our even realizing it.

      Thank you so much for sharing!

  27. Welcome back April! I am so glad that you experienced such great healing during your time off. On a side note, have you ever considered opening up a discussion forum? Not to replace the blog, but as a place where people can discuss topics that may not be as demanding to maintain as a blog.

  28. Hi April, good to hear from you. We always have to reevaluate our priorities quite often as working woman taking care of the house, husband and kids. I still have some areas to grow regarding respect (yesterday was a hard day. Hopefully, I leant from it and won’t do it again) but generally speaking, things have been much better with my husbands these last weeks. I don’t know if I had a breakthrough or if it is a an answer to our numerous prayers but it feels so good. I continue or read articles, blogs and stay focus but just wanted to let you know. You have been and are a blessing in my life. Big hug. Sonia

    1. Sonia,
      I am so glad to hear from you! I know this has not been an easy road at all for you. But I have to thank God that you are seeing Him work in your life and your marriage. Praying for His continued work, healing, power, direction and wisdom and for your submission to His Lordship. I am so thankful you are experiencing His rest for your soul!!

      Much love!
      April

  29. April, I’m glad you’re back and I agree with your husband that it’s an excellent idea that you shift your priorities a bit. Your relationship with God and your family must come first. Also, you can’t answer every comment and yet I’d be trying to do the same thing, lol. I think we’re alike in that area. Anyway, it’s clear that you have a real heart for helping people. I know you’ve helped me. Just don’t let your life take a backseat to your blog. πŸ™‚

    Missed you!

    PS: It’s not always easy when our husbands tell us how we need to change, is it (even when we ask)? πŸ˜‰ I’ve done that before and wasn’t always pleased with the response I got yet I DID ask, lol!

  30. What a blessing your husband is in your life. I love how God uses our spouses to put things into perspective. I know that you are a “do-er” by nature and long for God to use you immeasurably. He has, dear sister.

    The difficult thing about being a dedicated servant of Christ is knowing how much of our energies to pour into and for how long. I have faced this same dilemma myself and, at the end of the day, I had to remember that my family is my first ministry. You have young kids, just like me, and this time with them is so precious and won’t last forever. Think of how God may use you when your children are grown and you have even more time to pour the precious love of Christ into women personally. Women like Lori, who are past the age of mothering in the home, have so much to offer with their availability and wisdom. You are already so very wise, April. I can only imagine how God will use you when you are able to dedicate even more time to outside ministries.

    Praying for continued refreshment in your life and for that sweet balance to be had each and every day. Hugs to you, sister!

    1. TheJoyFilledWife,
      Thank you so much for this! Brought tears to my eyes. I definitely know you understand my heart – for God, for my husband, for my children, and for the wonderful women I minister to. I greatly appreciate you sharing your perspective and wisdom. πŸ™‚

      Sending big hugs right back to you!

  31. It is very good to see you back and hear you are refreshed and rested. It was also nice to read how open your husband was with you in explaining his thoughts and perceptions of things! Sometimes it helps to have “outside” observation.

    I, too, have decided to cut back on my blogging (which is nowhere NEAR the often 2-3 per day posts of 2,000 words or more), at least during the summer. Not only have I tons going on with the garden, my husband and household come first. Blogging puts a big stress on that sometimes, so for summer it’s just catch as catch can. Not as many people are reading this time of year anyhow!

  32. Welcome back!! I am happy to say that I have made great strides over the summer. And I have a friend who is taking the journey with me. We have been reading some of your old blogs and putting them into practice. So even though you weren’t here, your seeds were still growing! πŸ™‚

      1. I really like the idea of you posting once or twice a week. Often I wanted to read all the comments and reflect on the lesson but I didn’t have time because there was another great blog to read the next day. πŸ™‚ Not a bad thing but you need to slow down for your sake and maybe we need to slow down too and actually put the lessons into practice before moving on. I can never thank you enough for your gift of this ministry. It is truly changing my life.

        1. Yes! I agree with this! Now we have time to digest each post and let the ideas and comments simmer in our minds for a while. πŸ™‚

  33. April,

    I too smiled when I saw your post in my email. We missed you, but I am so happy you found refreshment, rest, and rejuvenation on your vacation from the blog and were able to refocus your priorities in a healthier way. Best wishes for all your writing, and know we are behind you 100% and will do the best we can to encourage each other here and offer godly and practical advice. Much love to you!

  34. I have been reading a lot about praying with your spouse. It may sound silly to some, but the thought of praying with my husband never occurred to me before. We say grace before dinner, do bedtime prayers with the kids, and go to church, but my husband and I have never prayed out loud together. I am used to prayer being private. Can someone offer some examples of what they do? Do you use traditional prayers, or make up your own? Do you take turns? Sounds so ridiculous to ask, but I think it will feel so uncomfortable to me! That is why I am asking for specifics. I don’t even know if he will try it! Sorry if too personal, I am just curious. Thanks!

    1. Hi Amy,

      When my husband I pray together, he leads. I am not quite comfortable praying out loud yet (though I will when called upon, and when we pray as a family with our daughter) so holding hands and having him lead a prayer works for us. We don’t use traditional prayers; we pray over specific people and situations and give thanks for specific things.

      And also, that’s not silly at all!!! That’s a very valid question that I’m sure many others have wanted to ask.

      I think you could also just hold hands and pray silently to yourselves, if neither of you are comfortable praying out loud. That’s still praying together! Just share what your prayer requests are first and then pray.

      1. M,
        Thank you for sharing!

        I know there are many ways to pray together. This is a sticky issue for my husband, too. Sometimes I will ask him to pray with me, and I usually don’t pray, just listen. I am a BIG TIME pray-er and I know that my husband has felt intimidated by me spiritually in the past. So, I usually just pray silently.

        I love the idea of praying silently together. Some couples have a notebook they both write in or some people email or text their prayer requests to each other. There are lots of ways to do this. There is no specific “right way.”

        I know my husband doesn’t like praying out loud because he feels it could affect his motives as he prays. I respect that. And I actually have experienced that in a big prayer meeting at church. I wanted to pray out loud one time, but there was a Bible teacher I respected very much there, and I started thinking, “Will I be praying to wholeheartedly pray to God, or would I want to try to impress that teacher with my prayers?” So, I just couldn’t make myself pray out loud. I wasn’t sure of my motives.

        Thanks so much for sharing!

    2. Amy,

      Also, Jesus emphasized the importance of private prayer in our “prayer closet” in the gospels. In my mind, private prayer is the most important! But I would love it if all husbands and wives and families and churches would pray together, too. Wouldn’t that be amazing!?!?

    3. Amy: Why don’t you give your husband a nice hug, and while hugging him, pray a short, quiet prayer in his ear? Pray that God would bless him on his job, protect him, and help him to overcome whatever temptations he faces during the day (no specific temptations, just a general prayer for victory over temptation).

  35. A friend recommended this blog to me and today is my first read. April you sound like the inspiration I need in my life to focus on being a godly wife. Your time off sounds like it was just what you needed! Looking forward to checking in each week. Hoping we will talk sometime in the future! God Bless.

    1. Jamie,
      Welcome! I am looking forward to getting to know you better and I am thrilled to walk this road together and to see all that God has in store for you! πŸ™‚

  36. Welcome back!
    You’re such a Godly example of what we are all striving for! Thank you for all you do!!!

    Question for anyone…(from April’s photo of her Bible and journal). I haven’t journaled for awhile. I have journals my prayers and it has kept me focused. Many days I feel like I repeat things over and over. I was just wondering what you all journal when you spend time with God? Also, what does your quiet time look like? What are you reading now?

    Thanks!!!

    1. PLM,

      Great question!

      I alternate between reading books in the New Testament and the Old Testament. I read a chapter – or several chapters. And I write down my concerns, my prayers, praises, confession of sin, intercessions and things that really jump out to me from the passage I was reading.

      Much love!

  37. Hello!
    I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children ages 10, 7 and 4. In a few hours I am about to have a huge fight with my husband. How do I know this? He is returning from a camping trip with the guys. He has been gone for 6 days. I miss him. I love him. I know we are going to fight. I tell myself now not to care about the dirty laundry, the coolers he is going to leave on the porch filled with cans and miscellaneous food item. He will be tired. He has to work tomorrow early. He is going to be crabby about that. (understandably, I get that it is hard to return to work after vacation). He won’t unpack fully, potentially for weeks. (that is as long as I let it sit one year) There will be items left in the truck, on the porch, in the bedroom. The coffee pot, the sleeping bags, the clothes, the tent. I have two choices, do it myself or let it sit there. It makes me crazy because if I don’t put things away, we won’t be able to find them when our family goes camping in a few weeks. I end up doing it every time and get very resentful. Here he had all this time off and I have to clean up after his good time! I like order and a clean house. He does not care one way or the other. Because we have been through this so many times, he will get angry if I say anything, even a raised eyebrow. Being married this long, a raised eyebrow can say a lot.
    My husband works hard so I can stay home with the kids. I am happy he goes on trips with friends. He deserves it. But tonight will be an adjustment. I tell myself don’t say anything. who cares? But I can feel this fight coming the way a dog can sense an earthquake. It sounds so petty when I write this down. But whenever I ask for advice on here I use it and it really helps. We have been to counseling 2 times and the advice on here has helped so much more!!!!
    So, how do I avoid having the same fight I have had over 17 times? How do I keep my mouth shut about the mess? I have told him how much this bothers me, he knows! That is why it also is hard to deal with. He will say “I’m sorry about the mess, I’ll do it tonight.” But I am home all day with the kids stepping over it. Tripping over the backpacks and coolers. He just never seems to get to it!
    OK, enough. You get the picture.
    April: I hope this ok to ask for random advice like this!
    Amy

    1. Amy,

      Great question!!!

      I hope that you might take some time to get alone with God and write down all the wonderful things about your husband today (Phil 4:4-8). I also pray that you might be willing to take on “the heart of a servant” like Christ has toward us. He came to serve, not to be served. Philippians 2.

      Consider all the sacrifices your husband makes for you without resentment. Write them all down, all that you can think of.

      Thank God for the opportunity your husband had to take this trip and enjoy some time with the guys and that he was not at a bar getting drunk or out with other women. Thank God for your husband, the man he is, the provider he is, the husband and father he is.

      Check out I Corinthians 13:4-8 and put your name in the place of the word “love” and apply it to your husband. “Amy is patent with her husband, Amy is kind. Amy is not easily angered. Amy keeps no records of wrongs suffered…” And ask God to forgive you for your desire to be resentful. Resentment is not of God. It is sin. If you are God’s child, He calls you to respond without sin.

      You are the one with total power here. You are the one who has the choice to make this a fight or not. I hope you. I get also consider that you do not know how many more days you have with your husband on this earth. What if today is the last day? What memories do you want to share together? What if he is gone soon? How would that change your perspective? If you have to plan his funeral later this week, how would you feel about resenting him for him not cleaning up his camping stuff as quickly as you want him to? Wouldn’t you give anything to have him back and to be able to have the inconvenience of cleaning up after him again?

      If you like order, clean up the stuff yourself. But do it to bless him and your family and to honor God. Do it because God created you to be this man’s helpmeet and to show honor and love for him.

      You have the power to make this a non issue. Or you can use this issue to destroy your marriage and tear it apart.

      I hope you will search my home page for “my demon”. That will also help you to determine where some of these thoughts are coming from and whether it is wise to dwell on negative, accusatory thoughts.

      If this issue is more important than your obedience to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-33, Galatians 5:18-26 and really, all of God’s commands for us as believers about how we are to love one another as Christ loves us) and if having the camping stuff cleaned up immediately is more important than cherishing your husband and having unity in your marriage and if it is worth destroying intimacy in your marriage and setting an ungodly example for your children… Then go for it. Have a big fight about it. Try to control your husband and force him to do things your way in your timing and then resent him when he won’t do what you demand.

      I used to do that. I can tell you this, it was not worth it.

      My husband is not the most organized man either. He will leave stuff out for weeks or months. You know what? It used to make me crazy. Now, I really don’t care. If it bothers me that much, I will put it away cheerfully. I may ask him respectfully and politely and with a pleasant tone of voice if he would put things away, and then give him lots of time to do it. But, if it seriously bothers me, I can put it away. Leaving stuff out is a bit aggravating. But it is not sin. What is sin is if I allow resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness to fester in my heart.

      Praying for God’s wisdom for you and for His unity, peace, harmony, love and respect in your marriage today!

      1. Amy,
        So, here is how this could look:

        Your hubby comes home. You smile, hug him and kiss him and tell him you are so glad to see him. You tell him you can’t wait to hear all about his trip. And you tell him, “I’ll be glad to help you put this stuff away. I’m so happy you are home!”

        Then, enjoy him!!!! πŸ™‚

        1. April said it best!
          Take it to God before he gets home. Maybe he might surprise you and pitch in a little more after an awesome homecoming greeting. Even if it’s not as much as you woul like, praise him for what he does help you with and thank him for it. It might help build on future returns from camping trips!!
          It might take some time but hang in there!
          I sent a prayer up for you !

      2. April,
        Thank you for taking the time to send me that advice. I am going to do what you suggest. A little mental preparation to help me to keep what is really important in mind. You are so right! It has always been our way to let the little things get to us. I think we both have strong personalities (I am the oldest child and he is an only child) and we have different priorities at times.
        I need to shift my focus. He is such a good husband and father. Really, how long will it take me to unpack for him? I should go into it assuming I will take care of it all, then whatever help he gives me will be appreciated.
        I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and your thoughtful and honest words. You really are helping me to make a huge difference in my marriage! Your advice is so different from anything others have told me. Seriously, I have been told to withhold sex, stop cooking dinner, etc. until I get what I want. This advice was from intelligent, capable women who are my friends!
        I feel like crying right now. I feel ashamed of how I have treated him in the past. But maybe that is what will motivate me to make this time different.
        I wish there were some way to repay you for all you have done for me!!!!!!

        1. Amy,

          I am excited to see how God is changing your heart and perspective! I know that tonight is going to be so very different from all the times your husband has come home before from his trip. I can’t wait to hear what God prompts you to do and how you approach things and seek to honor Christ and your husband tonight.

          Well, I have an idea for how you may be able to repay me… Maybe we could anonymously share this story as a post? I believe God may use your story to inspire and bless many other wives and their marriages, too. This situation is one almost every wife can relate to. As you share with other wives, I know God will speak through you and produce much fruit for His kingdom! If you are willing, of course. πŸ™‚

          Much love!!!! I am praying for you.

    2. Amy, Here is what I think. Greet him just a April says but don’t clean up after him….for 2 reasons. One is he is a grown man and you are not his mother.(hard lesson I learned). Sure, if it sits too long, you can say Honey, come on and let’s put up the camping things and you can help. Promise something fun when you are done. ;-). If he says maybe later just leave it. If it comes times for the family to go camping and things are not together, occupy yourself elsewhere while he gets them together even if it puts everyone way off schedule. One thing I know for sure, if every time he goes camping you always put away his things, he will never do it himself. Two, this is something you want to control. (yep, learned that one the hard way too) Resist the urge to control it. When you to go clean it up, you resent it which is a good indication that you felt you needed to control his actions. He may even feel controlled by you doing it for him. I know my husband would. He would not be happy and say I told you I was going to do that. Which would indicate to me that he did not like me taking over. This has been a long hard journey for me and I have had to look deep at things I was doing that just weren’t working. I pray you have a happy homecoming. πŸ™‚

      1. daisymae,
        I really appreciate your advice! I have tried to leave it and let him do it himself so many times. It just boils down to the fact that it is not a priority for him and the mess doesn’t bother him. He will be at work all week and I will be stepping over things. I know it will get to me. Also, he won’t feel like I am taking over if I do it cheerfully. I think he will be happy to have me do it. I am the organized one and he is the creative one in the marriage. But I think your advice would work for some for sure!
        Thanks for your reply!

      2. Daisymae,

        Thanks for a different perspective!

        That is certainly another option. Wait and let him pick it up. But don’t expect him tondo it on your timetable necessarily.

        If a husband says he will clean it up, then it can feel disrespectful to a man if his wife swoops in and does the task before he gets to it. I agree with you on that!

        One of the most disrespectful things I ever did was cleaned up and organized Greg’s tools and his side of the garage when I asked him to and he said he wouldn’t. I stormed down to the garage and cleaned it myself, resenting him every minute of it. And he was very upset that I had messed with all his stuff without his permission. It was one of the bigger disagreements we ever had. Not pretty.

        I love hearing from many different wives and hearing different perspectives! Thanks!

    3. Amy, there’s a saying I think applies here: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” You’ve told us what you’ll get if you express discontent over the mess. Even the raising of an eyebrow sends the message to your husband that you care more about the mess than you care about him. Why should he think otherwise, as 17 times in a row you have confirmed that over and over?

      From the beginning, you have had an expectation that your husband should clean up after himself.
      In a perfect world that would be reasonable. But, you seem to understand that it is you who wants neatness and orderliness, not your husband. Since that is not his standard, please don’t expect him to live up to yours. Look at it this way. Once a year you get to BLESS your husband at the end of a long, tiring trip with cleaning out, straightening up, and putting away his stuff. I’d even go farther and tell him when he walks through the door not to worry about a thing….that you will take care of it all. Now wouldn’t that be a whopper of a blessing to your man! The mess isn’t worth the marriage. Your being right isn’t worth the fight or the loss of intimacy between you two.

      YOU have the choice for things to be 100% different this time around and every year after. I pray you choose well and plead with you to stop resenting the great blessing that is returning home to you!

      1. Amy, just want to add that I do not mean to sound harsh with you in my comments above. I have been in the same place of resentment that you are in, and it did a LOT of damage to my marriage. I was stubborn for MANY years and could not see that it was ME who needed to change rather than focusing on what needed to change in my husband. I see how much it is affecting your marriage too.

        Just want to impress upon you that it does NOT have to be this way—but it’s not your husband you need to focus on changing. There is no evil look, no nag, no setting of an expectation or threat will ever change him. You can only change you.

        1. HisHelper,
          You were not harsh at all! First of all I asked for it! Second of all, I think sometimes I need to be hit over the head to see what is right in front of me! Attitude adjustment time! I’m going to try it. It only took 17 years to realize that my nagging isn’t working! LOL! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I appreciate the advice on this blog so much and am so thankful for April and everyone who responds!

          1. Whew! I was praying you wouldn’t take it the wrong way! πŸ™‚
            You hold all the cards in how this plays out today. I see SO much potential for a major change in your marriage starting today and I don’t want you to miss out! Your hubby is probably already dreading the fight he’s about to come home to. I can’t imagine that it wouldn’t bless his socks off to come home to just the opposite! Its like a fresh start to a 17 year old pattern of painful reunions. I’m praying and cheering you on! Please let us know how it goes!
            -HisHelper

          2. One final thought, Amy. (You’ve been on my mind and in my prayers as I’ve gone about the day!) You might not be one to do this, but it would be my tendency to jump right into cleaning up the mess as soon as my husband got home, to get it done and over with. If this is something you would tend to do too, may I suggest only tackling the things that have to be done immediately and leaving the rest for another time (Maybe you and the children can work on it tomorrow)? That way, your family can focus on spending today/this evening enjoying your husband and welcoming him home.

      2. HisHelper,

        I love that. She has a chance to bless him. I love looking at it that way! And, really, she has the chance to bless herself, too, since she especially appreciates neatness and order.

        I have some posts about expectations, ladies, you can search my home page for:
        – expectations
        – discontentment
        – contentment
        – bitterness

        There may be some posts that might bless some of you and your marriages. πŸ™‚

    4. Oh wow such amazing advice of you all loved to read it and just long to hear how it went for Amy.
      Again I find myselve on the opposite end of this experience, when I get home after a trip I absolutely do not want to unpack, I want to sit down drink coffee look at what post has come and tell all about it to my husband. But my husband wants to clean op the mess and than we can sit down. I always resent that and have to force myselve doing that. Mmm guess I have to do the opposite if I want to bless my husband and clean up first.
      He will leave my mess to me but it does irritate him. And I can leave it for day’s lying around absolutely not bothered by that.

  38. I am thinking about getting out of my marriage. When i met my husband, he treated me respectfully. We talked and got along well. Lately he seems so different to me. He comes home from work, watches TV, and falls asleep. He ignores me but expects me to wait on him, bring him his supper, wash his clothes, etc. He has been crabby since my grandchildren are visiting too. I had my 2 grandsons and now my granddaughter. I hardly see them because they live in a different state. I feel he is mad that he is not getting as much attention (he was an only child). He got mad at me today because I wasn’t moving fast enough to attend a fair. I told him I didn’t want him to go then. He said he could have gotten work around the house done (even though he spent 2 hours watching a “Tinkerbell” movie with my granddaughter. I had extra wash to do. I took my granddaughter to the fair my myself. He did nothing at home and like a big baby visited friends. He talks about himself all the time for hours with his friends and he is a braggart. He repeats jokes that I have heard at least 20 times each. He is not following the rules of a husband or treating me like a wife. God is 1st, friends 2nd, his family 3rd, and me 4th. I should be #2. I have written bible quotes to him about this and he actually knows the bible better than me. He gets mad at me if I do not go to church and says, “At least one of us need to go”. I have been so tired out lately. He never anticipates my needs or brings me a small gift. I am always thinking about what he needs and love to surprise him. He has been married twice before and I am beginning to understand now. I want to make it work, but he is not cooperating, He is eating too much and getting a big belly that really turns me off. He doesn’t take care of his hygiene. I have to tell him to get a haircut. He is starting to look like “Otis” from Mayberry. He used to be thinner and better looking. He only wants to eat and watch TV. I am not attracted sexually to him anymore. I just don’t know what to do anymore. We also have a hobby farm and those animals are very important to him too. I guess I should say I take 5th place in his life. He has everything out of order in his thinking and I am feel like a slave. He saves he loves me. He needs to get his priorities in order. He needs to understand me better. My sister is having breast cancer surgery next week and he doesn’t really bring it up. It is very upsetting to me. He can talk hours to friends and boast, but I am left out. He reads the bible and prays, but something is wrong. I do not believe in divorce, but do not know if I can live like this. I have told him how I feel and he gets “cocky” about it. I wish our marriage could work, but he needs to change. I know I am not perfect, but his treatment towards me is unbearable at this time. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

    1. GEM,

      Thank you for sharing your story! I am sure that many, many wives here can relate to you and to your frustration. I know that it is easy to focus on what we want our husbands to change and how we think they are not being the men God wants them to be. I focused on that for 14.5 years in my own marriage – but – it turns out, I can’t control my husband. I can only control myself. It was very freeing when I realized this and it was pretty shocking to me when God revealed to me just how far away I was from being the wife He wanted me to be (you can find my story on the about page).

      Can you please tell me about your relationship with Christ?

      What are the reasons that scripture gives that are acceptable for divorce for a believer?

      What are you doing to obey God’s commands to you as a wife to bless, honor and respect your husband and to cooperate with his leadership?

      Are there any sins in your own life that God desires you to repent from? For me – there were many. Pride, self-righteousness, disrespect of my husband, refusal to submit to my husband, lack of trust and faith in God, worry, fear, idolatry of having control and having my own way, a critical spirit, unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness… All those years I didn’t see my own sin at all. I condemned and criticized and belittled my husband often. I demanded that he change. I demanded that God change him. Then God showed me that I didn’t have just a log in my eye, I had a forest. πŸ™ I was mortified. I thought I was the best Christian wife ever – and God showed me that I was full of sin and filth. I had a lot of repenting to do.

      If you really and truly want your husband to be a more godly man, you do have power to influence him. You cannot change him. But you can seek Christ with all of your heart and you can focus on obeying God yourself and trusting God and God can work in your husband’s life if you are willing to do things God’s way.

      I hope that you might check out some of these posts, my precious sister:

      Why Do I Have to Change First?
      How to Make Your Husband an Idol
      A Wake Up Call for Wives

      And please search these terms on my home page:

      – idol
      – idolatry
      – But I’m Right!
      – Are Women Morally and Spiritually Superior to Men?
      – Discontentment
      – Contentment
      – Lordship of Christ
      – Overcome Idolatry
      – A Challenge for You, Ladies
      – Smile
      – Confronting Your Husband about His Sin
      – Stages of This Journey
      – Bitterness
      – Unforgiveness

      And please check out the posts at the top of my home page about disrespect, respect and biblical submission.

      I want to see God greatly glorified in your life and in your marriage. I am SO excited to see all that He has in store! Much love to you! Thank you for being on this journey to become the wives God wants us to be with us!

      Other ladies, you are welcome to comment. I know that many of you have very similar stories.

      1. I have a relationship with Christ but probably could be better. I am saved and know that he died for our sins. I taught Children’s Church. I try to read the Bible, but it is difficult because I have ADHD. My husband and I also belong to a Bible Study Group. I even bought myself a new study bible. I realize that divorce is not an option unless my husband would commit adultery or perhaps be physically abusive. I had a husband before. He was very abusive, an alcoholic, and committed adultery many times. I am trying to let my husband be the leader, but I am usually a peacemaker and he is very outspoken and strong-minded. He doesn’t like it when I want him to wear his seatbelt (I am concerned about his safety). He has a little rebellion in him. He sometimes gets road rage. He also can go above the speed limit. He did introduce me more to the Bible and he knows a lot about the Bible. I did not know before how to be saved. I believe that in the beginning of our marriage, I had lack of trust, due to my first husband. It took me a long time to understand that my husband loved me and would never cheat on me. I am insecure at this time because I lost my job due to bullying at work. I do not have pride issues. I believe my husband does because he likes to brag. I do not like bragging because my dad is that way. My dad thinks the Catholic Church is the only Church and he only wants to talk about movie stars, Las Vegas, or golfing. He will change the subject when I am talking and cut me off. My husband does that too by interrupting me in the middle of what I am saying and then I forget what I was talking about. I try to respect my husband and do nice things for him. It just seems to be more about him and that I am just here. My sins would be worry and anxiety. I have a hard time letting go and giving it to God. I try to be good to other people and treat them how I want to be treated. I like to surprise others with little gifts or do something nice. I like to also do this for my husband. I believe I am not selfish because I do not spend much money on myself. I actually think of myself last and go without. I used to like when my husband and I dated and holding his hand. I just feel that he isn’t trying hard enough to impress me or do things for me. I feel bad that I am not working. He told me I didn’t have to work, but I see a toll it is taking on him. I had an interview last week and this week for a job. I want to contribute and I used to be the one who covered our insurance, etc. I also made more money. My husband is 7 years older and I worry about him. Sometimes I feel guilty that he is so tired and that I am contributing to wearing him down. I, myself was having difficulty wanting to work. I developed PTSD after 3 years of bullying at work. I see a Psychiatrist and a Counselor. I feel the PTSD is getting better; otherwise I would not be as active looking for work. I also experienced a lot of depression and still do, which probably does not help. I know this is partially my fault too. I guess I feel I try so hard and things just are not changing. Perhaps, I need to pray more or get a version of the Bible to listen to. I pray for others and I am on a prayer list at church. I always want others to be happy. I have even forgotten the ones at work who bullied me out of work. My husband does have good in him and I know he would never hit me or drink. Perhaps, he is just getting worn out working and I need to get a job now. I do have my own problems as I had said and I guess those don’t help our marriage. Thank you for answering so quickly and I will try harder to be a better wife. It is hard to concentrate on my husband because my 8-year-old granddaughter is visiting and I rarely see her. I will check out your previous posts. Sometimes marriages are difficult and I also think communication is important. My husband doesn’t always listen to me about things coming up. I have them on the calendar but I probably need another means to communicate dates, events, and times to him. I did try to make things easier around the home by giving things to thrift stores, so the house was not so crowded. I did some organization too. I really do not want my marriage to end, but sometimes I just get frustrated and think it would be easier to be alone and have no one to deal with. We did make up and things are better now. I actually just want a simple life that includes God as #1.

        1. GEM,

          I haven’t forgotten about you! Had a busy week and had to try to find your comment again.

          Are you being treated for your ADHD?

          Goodness, that first husband would sure leave a lot of scars and wounds in your soul. πŸ™ Have you worked through healing through all of that with someone like a godly mentoring wife or Christian biblical counselor?

          On the seatbelt thing, I totally agree with you that it is not safe for him not to wear the seatbelt. I think you could say, “It would mean a lot to me if you would wear your seatbelt. I love you and love having you around!” But, ultimately, if you take over and try to force him to wear it and act like his mom, you will repel him.

          Check out this post about People Pleasing

          And Fear Fuels Our Need to Control

          As a pharmacist, and a mom of a son who has some mild ADHD issues, I know that sometimes with ADHD when it is not under good control, people who have ADHD tend to talk and talk. And talk. I don’t know your situation. But, it could be good to check and see if you are talking a lot, it may be wise to cut back some on the amount of time you are talking. Maybe that is not an issue for you. I have no idea. But it is an issue for many people, male and female, who have ADHD. So, it is something to consider. Are you seeing people’s body language cues that they are done listening or that you have been talking too long?

          Please search the following terms on my home page:

          – worry
          – anxiety
          – fear
          – control
          – idol
          – idolatry

          There are apps you can get for your phone that you can listen to the bible like “Bible.IS”

          What do your psychiatrist and counselor say about your marriage?

          What do you to do thank, encourage, bless, honor, respect and build up your husband?

          Of course not dealing with people would be easier. But, it may be that God wants to use this situation to make you more holy. πŸ™‚

          Much love to you!

    2. I feel like maybe you need to cut your hubby some slack, you are upset that he seems frusterated that you’re spending time with your grandchildren, but then you are upset that he watched a movie with your granddaughter. Noone can live up to a double standard.
      I know that it is very difficult to not judge people on their worst traits while only judging ourselves on our intentions, but we at least have to recognize we are doing this so we can try and be a little more understanding. I have said a prayer for you and your hubby that there will be more communication and understanding! This blog is a great place to start, after the Bible of course, I have learned so much here! May God bless your marriage!

  39. Just wanted to write a quick note about how this blog has helped me. As April has mentioned “blessing” your husband, and maybe that means just sitting by his side watching TV. Well, I took that to heart and instead of an attitude of “I could be doing something much more productive or meaningful”, I did just that, as well as walked around the yard with him while he looks at the weeds, haha, but just being by his side & that’s exactly what he likes. I see that making that connection with him is much more important than anything else I could be doing. It did allow for sharing time, that wouldn’t have happened, had I not been there. Also, I had been “controlling” if you will, in trying to get him to do more spiritual things. After spending time here & in His Word, I understood that God could take care of my husband & for me to get out of the way. He asked me the other night if I thought he should go to a Men’s Night out at the church & I said “that’s totally up to you, I think you’d enjoy it, but I know it’s been a hard week, as well”. (and then prayed). He went & it was about praying with your wife, which we did, totally led by him, that very night. Thank you Jesus, that’s all I can say. There’s been other things, just wonderful, but you get my point. HE really does have this, and thank you April for giving to the Lord.

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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