Skip to main content

Sharing My Heart

image

Whew! What a wild ride life has been recently.

Just want to let you know a few things about my life lately:

  • I’ve been able to work extra the past few weeks. So, instead of my usual 3-12 hours/week in the pharmacy, I have been working 21 hours/week the past 3 weeks or so. That has cut in to my blogging time quite a lot. I have definitely been having a much harder time keeping up as my working hours have increased recently. It is a blessing to our budget that I have had extra hours. Greg is so appreciative that I have been able to work a bit more. I will now be working 12 hours every week minimum and picking up extra days as they come, as well. There are usually more vacation shifts to cover in the summer.
  • Last Saturday, one of my grandmothers (both are still living, one is 92 and one is 94 and they have both been in relatively good health) was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU (apparently the step down unit). She had gotten a sore throat 2 days before and then was so weak she couldn’t get out of bed during the night Saturday night to go to the restroom. The doctors found she had pneumonia. My mom has been with her non-stop. She is only about 25 minutes away from me.
  • We have had two sick children the past two weeks. My grandmother who was in the hospital is very nervous about germs because whenever she gets sick, she ends up in the hospital, which I totally understand. I wanted so much to go visit her and I couldn’t because my children were sick and she preferred that I not come. I believe she is ready to go whenever the time comes to leave this life, but I would really love to be able to see her again and say goodbye. She seems to be getting better now and may be going to rehab for awhile. But it was tough emotionally for me to not be able to go sit with her and be with her because I wanted to be there with her more than anything.
  • There has been a little boy on our daughter’s bus (she is in 1st grade, so is he) who has been putting his hands down little girls’ panties on the bus. Then there was some pretty significant bullying and racism going on as well in the past few weeks. None of it was directed at our daughter yet, but I don’t want to take that chance. I have been trying to handle these things with our daughter’s  teacher. But I decided to pull her from riding the bus and have been picking her up the past two weeks from school – that takes a good bit of time, but it is worth it!
  • Tuesday, we had a major storm hit our neighborhood while I was home with our daughter. It was scary! Our house was ok, but there are large trees down all over the neighborhood – many on homes and cars. Greg and I walked through our neighborhood Tuesday night checking on everyone. What a stark reminder that the things of this world are not going  to last. Thankfully, we are not aware of anyone being injured or killed. But – it was a good reminder for me to number my days.
  • I have been spending more time with Greg and our children – and that is a very good thing.
  • I have been trying to revise my book after the 1st editing process and have been hoping to have it done by the time our children are out of school next week. But that is looking increasingly impossible with all the extra hours I have been working and children home sick – I just haven’t had the time to do all that I want to do on the book.

So, this past weekend when there were 140 – 200 comments per post per day – I was completely snowed under. I tried to keep up – but I did not do a good job. I tried to facilitate a more respectful dialogue. I understand now why people had issues and concerns even though I didn’t anticipate how differently some people may read his words from how I took them. I know a bit about Thankfulhusband’s history, his marriage, his love for God, his love for his wife and maybe that gave me a different perspective on what he was saying compared to some who may not know him as well. I am glad there was a lot of discussion with Thankfulhusband. I want people to be able to ask questions and ask for clarification.  But the whole situation eventually felt an awful lot like a runaway train from my perspective.

I have been completely emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained this week. So I have spent the past few days evaluating things, praying, talking with Greg, studying God’s Word. I am having to face some of my limitations.

I know many of you don’t know me in “real life.” But – y’all are each very important to me. You are on my heart and mind all the time. I love you. I pray for you. I shed tears over you. I mourn with the grief and pain you have. I rejoice with each victory you share with me. I get on my face before God about you. I don’t EVER want to do anything or allow anything to be posted that will hurt women or hurt marriages. I spent quite a bit of time this week questioning my judgment and wisdom. I had thought Thankfulhusband’s perspective would be helpful for a lot of wives and offer a perspective that I just couldn’t offer. It seems that there were many women who appreciated his perspective, but there were also many for whom his posts and wording choices and style were offensive. I don’t want to cause anyone to stumble, not even accidentally. I had hoped to try to bridge the chasm – but I was not able to do so. I appreciate that he decided to bow out in order not to cause division here. It made me sad that this was how things ended. I have shed a lot of tears this week over this situation – the discord I have brought to my blog, the misunderstandings on all sides, the lack of unity, the hurt feelings.

I HAD A LONG TALK WITH GREG

He suggested that I only have women guest writers going forward. I think that is wise. So, that is my plan at this point. My prayer is that God might send us some godly mentoring Titus 2 wives whose husbands have very different personalities from my husband. I would really love to be able to offer practical ideas and suggestions for wives to prayerfully consider who are married to husbands with stronger personalities and stronger leadership bents because I don’t have experience with being married to a man with a different personality.

I think I am going to need to cut down a bit on the frequency of my posts, especially during the summer when my children are home. But I will post as I am able to – God willing, of course!

MY APOLOGIES

I want to apologize that I wasn’t able to moderate the discussion more effectively and that I didn’t anticipate the responses Thankfulhusband would receive ahead of time. I also want to apologize because some of the things that other women heard were definitely not at all my intention in allowing him to share here. I regret that I didn’t figure that out beforehand. I pray that God might give me more wisdom and better discernment as I make decisions about what to post and what to share here.

I also apologize that I just cannot keep up with all of the comments. I will try to do my best. But there are going to be times I cannot get to everyone. I do love that so many wives are willing to step in and offer prayer, encouragement, godly wisdom, support and suggestions to hurting wives. It is a blessing to me that there is such a wonderful sense of community here. I love seeing all the comments and discussion and seeing how y’all build one another up and bless each other. That brings such joy to my heart. I also love hearing what God is doing in each of your lives.

WHAT THANKFULHUSBAND IS UP TO

Thankfulhusband wrote a comment on the post from Tuesday and shared a bit more and announced that he and his wife are starting their own blog – sounds like a great idea to me!  Some of you may want to check that out if you are interested in hearing more of his thoughts at www.amanhiswifethebible.wordpress.com. But that decision is entirely up to each of you! Enter at your own risk, ladies. I am not going to try to moderate anything over there. And I don’t control content there, either. I have no idea what will be said or how it will be said. I pray that all of us will always weigh anything any human, including myself, says against the Bible and not just accept things that people say without carefully testing it.

I love that we have deep discussions here. I know we talk about some extremely difficult topics. I realize we won’t always agree. I also know that in a written forum like this, it is very easy for there to be misunderstandings because we don’t have any non-verbal queues so it can be much more difficult to anticipate how people might take what we say and for people to interpret one another accurately. I don’t really know a way around that on a blog. I love that we sharpen one another here. I want to thank you for all the support, love, encouragement and comments the past few days. I am also thankful for the disagreements and the chance to see things through other people’s eyes and perspectives and broaden my understanding of how others think. My goals here are to exalt Christ, to point women to Him, to bless marriages and families, to love my sisters (and brothers) with God’s love and to share His truth that is able to set us free. How I pray that Jesus will become greater and greater here and I will become less and less. I long for this to be a place where we can discuss things in a spirit of love, unity and respect for one another and most of all for Christ. I am in desperate need of God’s wisdom, His Spirit and His power every moment to be able to do any of this. I pray He might empower me to be faithful to Himself.

 

77 thoughts on “Sharing My Heart

  1. I love your blog 🙂

    This is a nice idea to have guest writers. I would really want to hear successful marriage stories from wives who had been gravitating more towards being “doormats” as I am one of them and I do not have most of the problems you are writing about. Could you recommend any? Blogs maybe? Especially if the “doormat” types are married to Mr.Commands, whoops! 😛

    1. Lilli,
      There is a marriage ministry called Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen. This ministry has been helpful to me. I am not married to a “Mr. Command” but Jimmy was a dominant husband while Karen was the doormat so in many of their podcasts they address what Karen did when dealing with his dominance. Not every thing they say addresses it specifically, but its one of the only marriage ministries that I’ve heard of so far that addresses a husband who is dominant.

      1. Jeanne / Lilli,

        They also have a show on cable TV and are on active on facebook. They cover a huge range of marriage issues. We DVR their show. It’s one of the very, very few on cable that is worth watching.

        Gail

        1. Gail, I keep forgetting to record their show, but I do follow them on Facebook and they always have great advice!

      2. Wow, this is great! When Jimmy talks about his old self it is like he is describing my husband 😀 I like when he talks about equality of men and women and that no dominance in marriage should occur. My husband would tell that this one is heresy… ;>

    2. Lilli,
      I am hoping to have some wives share on these topics here soon. I know that the advice wives need in a situation like that can be very different from what works in a marriage with a more laid back husband.

  2. I appreciate all you do here. You have helped me so much. Its totally understandable that you can’t comment on each comment that is left. I think its amazing so see the difference since the beginning of the year on how many women are now encouraging each other in the comments section.
    I’ve always loved how you had a new post each day, but didn’t know how you maintained such a schedule. Even if you can’t post a new one each day, you have so many great articles in your archives there’s always something there that we can go find if we are needing something that day. I’ve read many posts multiple times on different days and always found some new encouragement to help me when I’m going through a difficult a time or just need some advice/encouragement.

    All you do is so appreciated!!

  3. God bless you and your family Sis!

    Thank both of you for your wonderful God honoring blogs. They have been food for my soul. I hope you guys don’t get too weary from the blogging.I guess y’all need an ‘Aaron and Hur’ to help with the ministry. Y’alls insight is much appreciated. I do look forward almost everyday to see the next subject. We grow with wise counsel. It is good to hear how other saints have honestly dealt with their storms with (or without) God’s help. The honesty is much appreciated so that no one would get any ‘fairytale’ ideas in their heads.
    I personally like coning to your blog to get a woman’s perspective on things so that I might be able to comprehend my wife’s POV. I am serious about God’s marriage covenant and He has got me to a point where I must 100% trust Him so that I will honor Him no matter where He takes me.
    I pray that God will grant you both wisdom, peace and perserverance to do what is pleasing to Him. I pray that your family will magnify the Lord daily.

    Thank you guys again for your time, love and patience

    Raphael

    1. Oops! My typing skills are showing up! I meant ‘I personally like coming to your blog…’ Anyway, I know of some Titus 2 woman at the church I attend. I have recommended your blog to one of the ladies before because she was trying to help out some other women with marriage problems. I was more than elated to suggest your blog. I will mention your blog to them the next time I see them. FYI – They might use the ‘y’all’ word =).

  4. April,

    I was wondering if everything was okay, after there was no post yesterday and I didn’t see one this morning as early as usual. I’m glad things are okay. I’m very sorry to hear about your grandmother! Interestingly, my grandmother was complaining about a sore throat over the weekend and now thinks she has pneumonia. She tends to have some complaint or another every day though, so her children (my parents, aunts and uncles) don’t always take it very seriously, especially when they do take her to the ER or the doctor every couple of weeks and there’s rarely something wrong. I know how hard it is to be away when you want that time with her. I’m praying she starts feeling better soon, and that your children feel better soon, so you can all go visit with her!

    I’m glad your extra hours at the pharmacy have been helpful for you and your family! I can’t imagine the pressure you feel to keep up with the comments even with working extra. It’s a blessing that there are so many women who are willing to encourage, pray, uplift, and advise.

    I’m praying for you to get adequate rest during this summer when you post less frequently, and that you’re able to complete your book – in God’s timing! 🙂

    You are loved and appreciated more than any of us can truly express. Thank you for being obedient to God’s call to ministry. You’re an incredible blessing!

    1. M,

      Thank you for your concern!

      I am so very blessed that there are many Titus 2 women here who reach out to others. That is one of my favorite things about this blog!

      Thanks for the encouragement!

  5. I love this blog, a blessing to my marriage. I’m learning to be a peaceful wife-allowing my husband to lead me(difficult @ times). But I’m very happy right now. Putting God first in everything brings much more happiness-it doesn’t disappoint 🙂

    I am a young Christian woman who loves her family so much that I would expect to find happiness from them, whereas it only comes from God. Now that my priorities are clear–i’m very happy.

    God bless you and your family. Keep sharing with us. Nothing is sweeter than God’s word.

  6. This post is such a comfort. I have been reading your blog for a little while, but this is my first comment. I felt discouraged reading the posts this weekend and as I saw more posts by thankfulhusband I began to feel that I would have to stop reading your blog.

    I wanted to comment this weekend and share my growing concern, but I honestly felt intimidated and so I did not comment.

    I think there is a good reason for why older women in the church are called to mentor younger women. While it can be helpful to hear a man’s perspective in the general sense, I worry it can become inappropriate for a specific man to council a woman on marriage if he is not her own husband or pastor.

    I know thankfulhusband seemed to feel that he speaks like men speak and he is representative of men in general, but that is just not applicable to every man and every husband. My own husband would never speak to anyone the way thankfulhusband does. So I think when a man guest posts on here and gives specific marriage advice to women, especially when he speaks with authority and comes across like his words are the only proper interpretation of scripture, it can create confusion and potentially cross appropriate boundaries.

    I think you do a wonderful job of writing for wives and trusting us to apply your suggestions appropriately for our own marriages, recognizing that each marriage is unique. 🙂

    I think your husband’s suggestion is so wise, and I am honestly so relieved that guests posts in future will be written by wives, for wives. 🙂

    1. Jenny,

      I was sure there were women who were not commenting, who may have shared some of the concerns of our other sisters who were upset about the posts. That is a big part of the reason why TH and I agreed together to take down the posts.

      Yes, I think that there will be less confusion if we have only women post.

      I don’t think that TH believed he spoke for all men. I know that my own husband has a very different way of looking at things. But my husband is a “Mr. Steady” personality. He and TH are quite different in their approach, personality and style.

      My prayer is that we will each learn how to study our own husbands and to best to apply biblical principles with our unique situations by the wisdom and power of God’s Spirit.

      Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your concerns!

  7. April, you are so appreciated. Even though your blog is geared towards wives, as a single young woman I learn so much. Not only things that prepare me for my future marriage, but things that help me in the marriage I’m already in with Christ.

  8. Hi April,
    Thank you again for your blog. Rest assured that you are helping so many by doing what God has called you to do. I am only sad that this happened and made you feel so many feelings. I run a couple large groups, and I get so hung up on what other people say and do to each other and their sometimes poor choices make me feel like I have failed. Just this past weekend my husband told me I cannot carry that load, it is too heavy a burden for me to feel responsible for every word or action another human speaks or does. It’s a hard point to get across without explaining my whole situation, but I think you’ll get what I’m saying. I’m just sorry some readers allowed their feathers to get ruffled to the point of causing division.
    I, for one, was greatly helped by you and ThankfulHusband this weekend. I only wish I had printed out the discussion so I could go over all the good advice given to me. I have been trying to recall a lot of it in my mind as I work through my own issues. Don’t feel badly about taking the posts down, you did what you felt you needed to do, and that’s more than okay. I say this just because I want you to know that, while a couple sisters may have felt upset, I was finally pointed in the right direction. I heard things I needed to hear. I understood my husband a little better.
    Please, please understand that you are helping so many women and so many marriages. You cannot worry about upsetting someone. In my experience, in every situation, there will always be someone who finds a reason to get upset. You cannot shoulder the responsibility of trying to make everyone feel happy with everything that is said. YOU ARE SO WISE TO CONSTANTLY POINT US TO THE LORD AND HIS WORD. You are an amazingly honest woman and I can sense your heart for God and your sisters (and brothers) in Christ. Please be encouraged. Take the time you need with your family and to refresh your own spirit. We love you and are praying for you. Thank you for all you do. Much love!

    1. Becca,

      I’m very glad that the posts helped you.

      And I am sure you can understand how difficult it can be to moderate comments among large groups! Sounds like you have definitely been there.

      I do understand that at times people will get upset – and there may be times I don’t need to address it. But – the issues that were brought up were very serious ones about things being unbiblical and harmful to women. I don’t take those kinds of issues lightly. If even a few of my sisters are hearing these things, even though I believe those were not intended messages at all – I want to do something to try to make things right.

      Thanks so much! 🙂

  9. April,

    First, I am so relieved to know you and your family made it through the storm safely. Wicked weather certainly does remind one of the fragility of life on earth in a way that few other things do.

    I read your post this morning in awe of the fact that God led me to someone who encouraged and built me up spiritually with the truth from his word just when I needed insight and comfort the most, and that this person, even though she has never seen me/us, loves us so deeply with His love. That love comes through so clearly and overwhelmingly in everything you do, April. You have been God’s instrument for building up a strong sisterhood in Christ of women who want to live our lives His way. As with everything else in life, for everything “there is a season.” So please don’t feel badly that you cannot devote as much time to this blog as you could previously. You have facilitated the growth of a group of women who now willingly and joyfully offer godly counsel, comfort, and encouragement to each other. You have written/compiled an extensive library of posts we can read or refer others to at any time. With growth comes change, and the changes happening here are good ones! Can anyone have perfect insight going forward? No. We learn along the way and made adjustments as needed. The only way to avoid making a mistake is to never do anything. I hope you realize this and don’t expect perfection of yourself, for we certainly don’t. We welome the variety of perspectives, life experience, and insight in the comments here. We love you for pointing us to God’s love and way of doing things, and deeply admire your dedication, humility, and ability to effectively reach people’s hearts with the truth. Above all, please remember this.

    I hope your grandmother is soon better and that you will have a wonderful summer with your family. Much love to you, always!

    1. Elizabeth,

      Thank you so much for hearing my heart. 🙂 That means a lot to me. And thank you for the inspiration you are to me. God speaks so powerfully through you. It is hard for me to roll with the new changes I need to make. But I realize that God will use all of this for His glory. I LOVE that there are so many strong women in the faith here now and that so many are able to speak to the needs of hurting wives here. For a long time, I was the only voice that could do that. But what a gift that God has brought so many sisters here to bless one another.

      Thank you for offering me grace. I need it! Your encouragement brought me to tears in a very good way. Thank you!

  10. April — I was feeling relieved that you are feeling better, but I still think you are hurting a lot about this 🙁 . I continue to pray for you and hope that you will be refreshed spiritually, emotionally and physically. You are doing an excellent job and you are a blessing to me and so many others. I see you have had your hands full these last few weeks…. it therefore should be no surprise that it was “perfect” timing for the enemy to try to sew discord among our “blog family,” in whatever way he did it. I know sometimes having a blog “every day” was a lot for me to read, let alone for you to write! 🙂 I wish you and your family all the best, and I look forward to remaining a part of your blog-family. Love and hugs.

    1. AMEN!!!!!

      That ‘fiery dart’ of discord only means you are doing something right! God has your back, side, middle,etc… He already knew this would happen -but it will only build you guys up! The enemy HATES christian marriages. Testimony: Yesterday I came into work feeling drained spiritually and physically. I asked God for a morsel of hope for my situation. He gave me physical strength to make it thru the workday so I could make it safely home via my one hour commute. I was still feeling spiritually drained even after hearing some edifying words from a saint who had experienced what I am going thru. I talked to another saint in whom I have confided my specific situation. God used them to bless my soul. My spirit was revived! I feel fully recharged for the rest of the day. I woke up this morning and ran into another trial -but I know He knows and will answer my cry in His timing. Yup! This blog is going thru a growth phase but He has equiped you to do what is right He won’t give us more than we can bear. You guys are truly a HUGE blessing in Gods kingdom. I don’t know of any sound christian husband and wife blogs that cover so much of the heartfelt cries of the saints based on sound exegesis of His word. You guys walk the talk and talk the walk =). I pray that God will grant you guys rest, wisdom and joy for your weary souls.

  11. It’s so great to see little bit what happened in your life. Don’t worry for the controversies: I know it is really upsetting when you share a thought and other people understand it in another way. All of us have filters, wounds that make us react in some ways as for some people, it doesn’t do anything. But again, I praise God for your ministry and work. I’ll have a look to their blogs as well cause I do need to get better to handle the reactions of my very dominant husband. If you have some testimonies of wife too, that would be awesome. Your blog is such a blessing in my life April. Don’t let anything trouble you and keep up the good work. A big big hug

  12. In addition to guest bloggers, have you considered enlisting help in handling e-mails, and moderating comments? I honestly don’t understand how you can possibly continue to do this alone.I admire your desire to connect personally with everyone, but at this stage of your work here, it seems prudent to bring in others ladies you trust to share your work.Just my opinion of course.

    1. TC,

      With my increased work load in the pharmacy, and now my children getting out of school next week, it is impossible for me to continue at the pace I was to be able to handle comments and emails. I had tried to stop the email thing several times, but I do still have many people emailing me. I hate turning anyone away. But I am simply not able to bear the load. So I am having to not reply to emails many times now. Breaks my heart. But I was easily spending 6-8+ hours every day on blogging/comments/emails for months. Obviously, that is way too much.

      So, I am having to set more boundaries and limits, even though I wish I could handle all of the volume myself. And I am definitely praying about how best to adjust to accommodate the increased load.

      I appreciate your opinion and appreciate the prayers so much.

      1. April,

        The thing is you have many people willing and eager to step in and help. I don’t know how qualified we are, since we are all at different stages of this journey. But surely you could train someone to answer the more common questions and refer the more serious cases to you?

        I personally am wanting to help you with this burden as you have helped us with ours.

        God bless!!

        Maria

        1. Maria, Wow! Remember what Jethro told Moses? That was exactly his suggestion. You sound like a Joshua, yourself. God is so awesome. It is good for all of us to consider how we can share the load of care for married women. My university instructor shared so many times how she knew the material best simply because she chose to teach it.

          1. I had the same thought as Maria. I’m not very far along in my journey (still pretty much a newlywed and very much still learning how to be a respectful wife), but if there were a way for me to help, I would be glad to do it.

            I love the idea of having Titus2 wives who use a Moses model to share the ministry of teaching each other to love their husbands. 🙂

          2. One of the ways I believe wives might be able to help me and our sisters would be for some of you to share what God has shown you. Maybe some ladies might like to share your stories in posts? That would help me and give a way for you to bless others. What do y’all think?

            And, if you see a wife comment who is struggling, you are welcome to comment to encourage, pray for and share with her.

  13. I wanted to let you know that I appreciated Thankful Husband’s perspective, even though you will have to put me in the camp of “I’m glad I’m not the one married to him.” Thankful Husband may have some interesting quirks, perhaps even a paranoia about security, but in the end he’s just a guy struggling but trying hard to be a good husband. Aren’t we all trying to be good wives? (Or husbands, for the guys still reading.) I am glad he and his wife are starting their own blog, I really would have liked to have seen HER perspective on what he was saying.

    I believe it is the responsibility of each wife to submit to her husband’s leadership, although I’m not going to drive my husband nuts with little things like asking him what to make for dinner or what to wear. (Although I sometimes do seek his input on these specific issues, the latter because I actually love the creative answers he comes up with sometimes.) I believe it is the responsibility of the husband to create a loving environment where the wife feels comfortable submitting. If the husband isn’t as loving as Christ or the wife not as submissive as the Church (universal, not individual) is to Christ, mercy and grace abound, but our love for Christ motivates us to try harder, and hopefully work together to create a marriage that parallels the relationship Christ has with the Church.

    I hope your grandmother and your children are feeling better soon, April. Prayers for all of them.

  14. April,

    My prayer for you is that you take care of YOU and your family then this blog. This blog is a wonderful, heaven sent resource but it is not your first mission field, as talented as you are with reaching out to us.

    Treasure your time with your family this summer. There is enough information here in the archives to point a wife where she needs to go. And other wives are wonderful to jump in and try to empathize and help when you aren’t able to, I think. Of course, that is no substitute for your wisdom we so respect! When a new post does come out, you can know we will treasure it!

    Much love to you and I will be keeping you in prayer. I also will be praying for your grandmother and a speedy recovery for her.

  15. There is another very popular Christian wives blog I read where the author takes one day a week to post one reader’s question, and allow other readers to respond in the comments with their advice.

    I realize there is potential there for unsound advice to be given, but considering that readers ask for advice in the comments of all blog posts and all other readers are welcome to respond, it isn’t really much different.

    I wonder if that’s something that might be beneficial for your blog over the summer. For one thing, if you receive an email and can’t personally take the time to mentor that wife, perhaps they’d be willing to have their question posted anonymously to receive guidance from other readers. For another thing, it would provide you with a blog post for that one day without having to spend all the normal time composing and editing original topics. And thirdly, it could foster stronger and more meaningful relationships between the wives who read your blog.

    Just a thought to ponder and pray over.

  16. April,
    As you know, one of my main disrespect sins against my husband is moving at a faster pace than him. Even when I’m doing something I know he approves of. I’ve improved our communication a great deal by simply slowing down and paying more careful attention to his pace.I couldn’t help but think of this as I was reading about your conundrum.

    I ABSOLUTELY LOVE reading your posts, but my days are full and I can’t always digest or respond as I would like. This means I don’t always get to the “meat” of the message before the next one comes along. . .I would love to have more time to process that. I think your idea to post less often would decrease your load immensely.

    You would have less subjects. Readers would have much more time to prayerfully consider and research the references and verses you provide. And you would as well.

    You would have less comments. Some subjects would drive more comments than others, of course, but readers would be better able to prayerfully consider their responses. And you would as well.

    I just wanted to affirm you that this blog is a blessing to thousands. But, although we love you, you know that it is not YOU, but YAHWEH (through you) that we are seeking when we visit here. And I know that’s what you want for this blog. So DO NOT BE AFRAID to slow down and let HIM lead.

    Sending you hugs. As you say, “I wish I could hug your neck” 🙂 Have a peaceful day, friend.

    1. Fallenshort…… I have always wondered where April got that term from! 🙂 🙂 I have always heard, “I wish I could hug you” but the NECK part sounded so strange to me. I used to laugh everytime April wrote that 🙂 , but oh how we love her and could really hug her neck now 🙂
      lol

      1. I’ve always wondered where that term (“hug your neck”) came from too! Growing up Methodist, I never heard it until I started working for an Assemblies of God church, and now I hear it ALL the time!

        1. LOL…. Sounds like I was not the only one laughing when April said that 🙂 🙂
          I don’t know that it has anything to do with any denomination (although I don’t know)… but it is funny.

          At least we are talking about light things… it is so much more fun to talk about these happy things 🙂

          1. It probably isn’t related to a denomination because I’m in a non-denominational church now and still hear it. It may not even have started in the church, for all we know! But it’s fun to hear sometimes. 🙂

          2. Ha!! It is different to me too! I believe it’s simply an old southern way to talk that means ” I want to give you a big hug”. Those southerners and their hospitality! Hard to figure it out sometimes 🙂

          3. It may have come in a roundabout way from the 1950’s song “I love you, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.” Or the song may have come from what people said. Who knows?!

          4. Ooooh, good thought! My mom used to sing that to me when I was little, and now she sings it to my daughter! 🙂

          5. I also found that expression a bit odd. I was picturing April choking me, not really hugging me. Haha! 😀 But, you can use that expression April, any time! I will hug your neck too if I could, right now!

          6. HeeHee! I envision it like a young child running to their grandad and jumping up to hug him tight around his neck. . .but you never know. These are the same folks who brought us, “I’m gonna ring your neck”, so I’d be careful neck-wise around them!

          7. Nikka!
            “I was picturing April choking me, not really hugging me.”
            LOL LOL!!! 🙂 🙂
            This hugging neck thing is giving me some good laughs. What a picture you had! 🙂

  17. April, Oh my, you’ve had some intense things going on. I’m so sorry. And still you continue to check in with us with your sensitive, sweet messages and words of affirmation. In light of everything, my apologies for e-mailing my well intended suggestion, as it was probably just one more thing for you to have to read!

    Love to you. Many hearts pray regularly for you and Greg. None of these growing pains have taken God by surprise and He has very good things to come out of them!

    xo

  18. I just want to say how eternally grateful I am for your blog, April. It is awe inspiring that even though we all do not know each other in real life, that we can still share Christ’s love and prop each other up through trials.

    I was horrified to read about the abuse on the bus. How dreadful!!! I will pray for that poor girl, my heart just aches for her that she experienced that.

    You are doing an amazing job! I will keep you in prayer!

  19. I was abused when I was in third grade on a bus. A little boy would poke his pencil in my privates. It was humiliating! My mother got on the phone and called the mother of the boy and told her if her son didn’t stop poking me with a pencil, she was going to call the police. That boy never bothered me again! Sometimes you have to take things into your own hands and I am so thankful my mom protected me in this way.

  20. Oh Lori! That’s so awful! I just hate the bus! So many tired, bored, basically unsupervised kids with nothing to do but mess with each other all the way home. It’s dreadful. Thankful for moms like yours (and April), who are able and willing to make a difference. . .

  21. I am so sorry to hear about all the stress you’ve been dealing with! Those are some very tough situations! I absolutely agree that taking your daughter off the bus would be worth it. To be honest, the school bus was never a very safe place when I was growing up, despite having some very diligent drivers. I think it’s definitely worthwhile to pick up your child from school yourself if you can. I think it’s wonderful you have so much concern for your readers, but I believe I have already read where you have apologized for the situation that got a bit out of hand. I think maybe you’re being a bit too hard on yourself. We readers should be willing to recognize that you are just one person and be kind, cut you some slack, and accept the simplest apology when offered. I’m glad you were blessed with more opportunity at work, though. 🙂 That’s wonderful, especially to still be able to make more time for your family. It sounds like you are exactly where you are needed. I’ll say a prayer for you and your family, April.

  22. April,

    It’s neat to see how your Mr. Steady has been God’s arms of strength to you recently. It’s so beautiful to hear how you and Greg function so well as a team now and enjoy this life you share together- the ups and the not-so-ups. What a witness for Christ your marriage has become! May God’s angels protect you and may His Holy Spirit continue to guide you. Thank you for your faithfulness. There’s no shortage of wisdom here.

  23. April,
    I have no idea what has happend, but I do know that I have followed your blog for over a month, and truly you have inspired and encouraged me more than you know. You have a gift and an annoiting to write about Godly marriage. Your words have been timely and exactly what I needed to hear at that time. I am also a writer and to keep down the “traffic” I post 1-2x per week. You must now take care of you and your family, and God will certainly take care of all the people you have helped.

    I thank God He lead me to your site, it was a God-send.

  24. My wife *LOVES* your blog – she loves your peaceful demeanor…. it’s help our marriage a ton as I am taking the role of captain in our marriage.

    Do know – some people may like or may not like what you post. If it is the biblical TRUTH spoken in biblical love, then that is on them, not you… nor anyone whom speaks truth in love. It doesn’t matter if it is direct, or more than gentle. Truth simply ‘is’….

    Jesus did the same thing – he was *NOT* some sort of milquetoast fellow out there – he was direct, gentle sometimes, other times not so gentle. yet he *ALWAYS* spoke truth.

    Please know things are getting tougher for believers in these times, some people want their ears tickled, I remember reading a warning about that somewheres…… (joke).

    I think we all need to simply speak truth in love….

    blessings
    rory

  25. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. Both of mine are around the same age (87 and 89) so I feel for you. I’m praying for her and your family!

    You are so awesome April, and so is Greg. So thankful for you both.

    Much love xxx

  26. Though I would rather you no not feel sad, April, I am “glad” the conflict happened, because it made us sort of an “official” community. Lurkers and silent wives came out of the woodwork to be heard; the ones already more “regular” in this site showed more of their selves/hearts we wouldn’t otherwise have known had the TH incident not occurred; and though I have always felt close to you and we correspond a lot, it was only this weekend that I truly felt that we were really very good FRIENDS in every sense of the word, and not just “virtual” friends. 🙂

    Conflict is a good thing. The best things arise out of them, when handled as graciously as you have handled this, and when lifted up to God in prayer. Now, we are experiencing the calm after the storm. I am happy to know that you have survived unscathed your own real storm, and will pray that you survive all your other “storms” in life.

    I believe much is in store for the Peaceful Wife blog as the Lord fine-tunes your growing ministry.

    May God recharge you by filling you up with His Spirit.

    Love you, April! I am just always here if you need me for anything. 🙂

    <3

    Nikka

    1. I agree that quite possibly this episode has promoted a closer community. (Lurker here, coming out of the woodwork.) We have much to learn–and we have learned much from this.

      I do want to say, April, that the information on the three types of men here, and in Peacefulwife Phillipines blog, plus the videos on the same subject on sparkle living’s blog (did I hear of her site here?) have been of tremendous help to me. I hope you can continue to bring us insights into the differing thought-processes of the three types of men. I’ve never understood controlling men and thought that they must surely be out of balance. But to see that they correlate to God’s all-consuming-fire, all-powerful side was eye-opening. The feminist mindset of loathing men of power has unwittingly duped me to the degree that I strongly react against ALL Commanding men. This also means I have much to learn in my respect for and submission to God–there’s a direct correlation.

      I also gain much from what the men say. It seemed to work really well when you interviewed or surveyed men and then filtered the information before you relayed it to us. The things they say burn into my mind as I then recall my hubby saying the same things. So, so helpful.

      Many thanks. I am older in years, but just a baby in my understanding of true respect and submission. It’s going to be a long road ahead. I thank you for the encouragement and teaching you continue to provide. You have taken on a big responsibility, tending to all us women, and even if you don’t have time to respond to posts like you used to, we can still feel your presence. We appreciate everything you do!

  27. I am so very blessed to have this incredible blog family. That is exactly what you are to me. Actually, in many ways, we are more connected and closer than an earthly family. And we are going to get to share heaven forever one day. No more time constraints! We can chat as long as we want to. 🙂

    I definitely feel the prayers, love, support and “hugs around the neck.” 🙂 ha! Yes, I think that expression is a Southern thing in the United States.

    I know God is using this week to help direct things as He desires to and that He is bringing much good from it. I am amazed to look around and see so many strong sisters (and brothers) in the faith, living for Christ and experiencing His new life and healing. I love that our God is sovereign in all things! What peace and joy there is in Him.

    I have cherished and savored each comment today. Thank you for sharing how God has used this blog to bless you and for sharing so many helpful ideas and encouraging thoughts and suggestions. I am excited to pray about each one. I am praying for God to heal any hurts that remain and for Him to knit us together with His Spirit of love and unity. I pray that He might be greatly praised and honored here with every word and motive.

    Much love to each of you! I am so thankful that I get to be your sister in Christ. I can’t imagine a more loving group of people could exist in the world. I am so excited to continue this journey together for as many days as God sees fit.

  28. It sounds like it is definitely a good idea to not have your daughter on the bus. Better safe than sorry.

  29. I didn’t notice anything that bad. I didn’t think TH seemed that bad and I didn’t notice the comments getting out of hand. Either I’m jaded or I missed it. I’m sorry it was so stressful.

    1. I had not planned to comment further on this, but I am discouraged to continue to see some women’s legitimate concerns summarily dismissed as just not liking thankfulhusband’s “style”. That is just not the case, as a few commenters have explained. I don’t think there is a need or a benefit to rehash any specifics here, but there are still comments here from women that clearly explain their concerns were not because of plain speak. Even when we disagree with each other, I think we can show each other respect by not dismissing these women’s feelings and genuine concerns as simply being too weak to handle straight talk.

      1. To all,

        I did not anticipate that women would hear what they did from TH. But the concerns that some women had were significant enough that I wanted to address them properly. I believe that the situation has been handled now. I am glad that many wives appreciated TH’s posts. But the issues that a minority had were not something TH or I wanted to ignore.

        Much love to all,
        April

  30. Wow April, that’s quite a bit to deal with all at once. I hope all goes well with your Grandma and everything else. I don’t comment much here, but I so very appreciate you and what you write. You are blessing so many people in so many ways, it’s like a ripple affect. You’ll never know this side of Heaven the extent of the impact you have.

    As for other Titus 2 women, I’d like to recommend a blog that I read. Elspeth @ http://www.lovingintheruins.wordpress.com is married to a command man, and she is a no nonsense, no sugar coating the truth kinda lady. She believes in and encourages Biblical marriage roles, and tells it like it is whether it’s popular or not. Anyone who was blessed by ThankfulHusband’s perspective (myself included) would certainly love this blog. (Note: she does sometimes post on other things too.)

  31. Keep blogging April. God is using you- the roaring lion is seeking to devour our families and marriages. Your encouragement is so valuable and life changing to help us be more like Christ!

  32. Perhaps, April, our Father is trying to get your attention. His ministry is flowing water, deepening as we move along His current. You may be coming into a season that’s going to need all your focus to be on Him and on your family. Listen carefully in prayer, He is faithful to instruct us on our next step. I will be praying you receive clarification, wisdom and understanding. Sometimes, even the ministry can take away from the most important “assignment” we have in this life…to be in a covenant relationship with Him. Enjoy the summer with your kids…before you know it, they won’t be kids anymore 🙂

    1. Yoursistersojourner
      Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I will definitely be in much prayer and seeking God above all else. And I definitely desire to enjoy this brief time with our sweet children. 🙂

  33. I loved hearing thankfulhusbands perspective. As someone married to a very similar sort of man, it was so refreshing to see that I’m not alone, and it really did help me understand my husband better. Maybe its because I know my husbands heart, that I could see his perspective very well. I feel like even in a community like this where women are trying to be godly wives, the command type men are made out to be villians. Being married to one it makes it hard because it is my job to see the good sides of my husband, and it is my job to submit to him, and be a good wife. It really did start to hurt to see how badly people reacted to thankfulhusband because I saw so much of my own in him. And it started to feel like a personal attack against my own husband. My feelings went from “wow, its so nice that other people see how great this kind of marriage can be” to feeling like I had to once
    again defend my marriage, and that there is nothing wrong with being married to a command man, its actually pretty awesome. Im actually really sad you pulled it down. I understand of course, but I personally did find so much value in this sort of male perspective.

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

%d bloggers like this: