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What Kind of Marriage Do You Have? A Survey

Ladies,

 

Hello! 🙂

We have been having a big discussion on yesterday’s post about different marriage relationships. How some wives are dominant and some are passive, and some husbands are dominant and some are passive.

I’d like to get a feel for what kinds of relationships are represented among all of my readers. AND, I am praying that God might bring some wives to us who might be able to share from each marriage relationship style so that ALL of the wives who read here can have someone they can relate to who has a similar marriage pattern to their own. If you have a pattern in your marriage OTHER than controlling/dominant wife and passive/unplugged husband and you believe that God may want you to share some of what He has shown you in your marriage to bless other wives and marriages, please leave me a comment and let me know!!!

44 thoughts on “What Kind of Marriage Do You Have? A Survey

  1. I would say ours is dominant/controlling husband and dominant/controlling wife (although I am the one who backs down and submits in the end).

  2. I have been a submissive wife going on 4 months. I feel a peace and love in my life and in my marriage. I have mentioned this to my girlfriends and they aren’t interested. I am not sure how to be supportive of them when it is so clear that this would be ideal to correct the issues they constantly have with their husbands. Supportive of them when they come to me with all their complaints about their “unplugged” husbands. I guess I will pray for them and continue to let them vent to me? I don’t know who else to ask and I don’t see any links regarding this matter. Thanks

    1. R,
      God’s design goes so totally against our culture, our Western mindset, feminism, humanism and our sinful nature – not to mention most of our parents’ examples.

      They may not be open. That is pretty normal. But – you can absolutely pray for them. You don’t have to let them vent.

      You can say something like, “If you are ready to focus on what you may be able to do to improve things on your side, I’d be glad to share some things I have learned with you. But, I am unable to just listen to wives complain about their husbands. I just can’t do that. I love you and want God’s best for you and am here any time you want to talk about what you may be able to do to help move towards healing.”

      Check out:

      Giving godly marriage advice to girlfriends
      Do not expect outside support

      You could even give them this link:

      A Challenge for You Ladies

      I hope these might help! 🙂

      1. Thank you so much for your response 🙂
        I value your opinion and life experience.
        I will read over the articles you included in your email.

      2. April or any other ladies,

        I have a friend who is a believer whose husband deals with a drug addiction. When she speaks to me I am at a loss of what to say. I continually seek to point her to Christ in His word but some of the ways God has taught me to submit to my hubby would be unwise for her. I want to be there for her and encourage her but at the same time even though her situation is hard I don’t want to listen to her tear her husband down. I know her situation is hard but I also believe Gods principles of love and respect don’t change.
        Do you know of any resources for women in her shoes?

        1. Jessica,
          She may benefit from narcotics anonymous, celebration recovery or the Salvation Army’s resources.

          If a husband is actively involved in an addiction and is not in his right mind, there can be times a wife should not submit to him. She will need outside, experienced help, for sure. So heartbreaking!

        2. Hi Jessica!

          I think if a husband is under the influence of drugs, a wife is no longer dealing with just the husband per se, but the addiction, so it would be best if she seek medical help or spiritual help from people of authority. Although respect should be given to the husband at all times, such an addiction/behavior is not respectable and has to be dealt with severely, if possible.

          This is one of those times when it might even be better to be physically separated temporarily till the problem is dealt with, unless it would be best for the wife herself to attend to him while he is dealing with the addiction and thereafter withdrawing from it.

          Putting him down, I agree with you , is not godly and won’t solve the problem. What he needs right now is a LOT of heartfelt prayers and TONS of patience and understanding.

          She might have to use TOUGH LOVE on this one. When dealing with an addict, you are no longer just dealing with the person/the addict, you are dealing with the addiction. Any addiction is a bondage, and the devil can really wreak havoc on his spirit when he is under the influence of drugs.

          April, would you have tel numbers or places that Jessica’s friend could contact?

          1. Thank you so much Nikka it breaks my heart because she is hurting and confused.she has been counseled both to stay and to leave so I’m just praying for her to hear Cleary from the Lord.Her big struggle is learning how to not respect his sin but still respect him. I will point her to these resources April listed.

          2. April,
            He is a believer but the past couple of months he has been far from God which has caused him to relapse and now it’s a weekly thing. I asked her abut rehab she said he responds that it won’t work for him.

          3. Jessica,
            How is she attempting to approach him? What is she doing? What does she say? Do they have children? Is he impaired when he is on the drug?

          4. Thank you for your concern April,

            They do have children. When he is on the drug I believe his thinking is extremely ok impaired but he always leaves and goes on binges where he spends lots of money then returns when he is sober. She mentioned that she no longer yells and screams when he returns but she is just bitter towards him because it has become a continuous thing. I know she has mentioned to him separating but she s aid he wouldn’t go for that He said if she left they would get a divorce.

          5. Jessica,

            So heartbreaking! 🙁
            I do pray that she will find godly counsel. I know a man with the Salvation Army who may be willing to talk with her husband if he would be interested. He lived a life of addiction to drugs and alcohol for many years and has since come to Christ and God has radically transformed him.

            I’m not sure it is possible to live together if he continues on like this. But I pray for God’s wisdom for her and for wise counsel.

          6. Jessica,

            If he is doing drugs, she needs to research how her state would treat it if he is caught. In my state, she would lose custody if drugs are found in their home (my mom does foster care). If that happens, it will take months to get them back and who knows what they would be exposed to in that time. For that reason alone, I would strongly encourage her to leave for the safety of her children and try to get him to get help.

          7. April,

            I spoke with my friend and she said her husband would be willing to talk with the man you know. Thank you very much

  3. I had to put other on our relationship. He likes order. He likes for things to be a certain way. On the other hand, he wants me to handle the finances, plan vacations, dates, etc. He also asks my opinion on all decisions and especially wants my input on all sorts of things. I just don’t want to disappoint him. I’m not sure what we are. In many ways he is extremely strong, but not in other ways.

  4. My husband is extremely passive. He tells me that he has such low self-esteem and has made bad choices in the past. He does not seem to be able to make a decision for us, preferring to ask me what we should do. He doesn’t seem to care one way or another about most things.
    I found that it was necessary for me to step up to get things done and I think he just kinda let me take over. I’m not naturally aggressive, and in past relationships have been passive.

    I have a long way to go on this journey. I let up on my “program” recently and really feel like I’m missing God, so back into the word for me.
    I asked hubby last night to please clarify for me what it means when he says “We need to (whatever).” Woah! That was wrong! We ended up in a yelling match. Apparently I touched a nerve with him and he began raising his voice at me and I jumped in. It was ugly.
    He tries to tell me how he feels and what I hear is how horrid I am. I have asked his forgiveness for all the damage I have caused in our marriage, but still he brings things up. I guess the log in my eye is huge, but I wish he’d get his speck removed
    This afternoon I reacted badly at a request he made of me and I apologized to him for not being respectful of him. He thanked me and told me that he really appreciated that.. I believe Holy Spirit showed me my disrespectful attitude and I knew I had to remedy it.

    I sound like I’m complaining and I guess I am. I still want instant results and a less passive husband, but I want God’s will in my life even more.

  5. Good morning…I’m new to this website. I was searching on how to be a submissive wife and I fell upon this site. I have learned a lot just from a couple of readings.I’ve only been married two years and I’m still learning a lot at the moment. We both are actually.a lot of things I had to learn on my own because I don’t have any christian girlfriedns that I can talk to without worrying my business will be spread amongst others. All we have my husband and is each other and our baby girl and soon to be baby number 2. We struggle a lot and I have not told my hubby about thisv peaceful wife journey I’m on I’m just taking it one day at time. Please pray for me that I can continue on this journey so I can be able to teach my daughter how to be a titus 2 women. Be blessed:)

    1. forgiven,

      You will find a very supportive community of women here! If you have concerns, prayer needs, struggles or questions, you are welcome to share them and I will be glad to seek to point you to Christ and offer any suggestions I may have, and many other wives will offer their love, support, encouragement, prayers and share what they are learning as well.

      I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you for your walk with Christ and in your marriage. 🙂
      May God richly bless you and your family.

    2. Welcome Forgiven!

      (I love your name 🙂 ) Words cannot express how valuable the community here is and how much of a difference implementing these strategies can make for your marriage. Welcome, sister 🙂

  6. I tend towards being passive, but my husband vacillates between dominating/controlling and passive/unplugged. He can be incredibly mean and harsh, but he also refuses to take responsibility for much of anything in our lives together. He’ll occasionally order me around, but won’t take initiative or make any decisions. I have always had a hard time speaking up, but his harshness has silenced me completely.

    1. Emily,

      Goodness, it sounds like things are so painful. 🙁

      How is your walk with Christ going?

      What is his relationship with Christ?

      Do you have any support or godly resources to help you right now?

      Sending you the biggest hug!

      1. My walk with Christ is ok; it’s not the best it’s ever been, probably because I’m struggling to come to terms with my life right now, but I’m spending regular time in scripture and in prayer. My husband’s walk with Christ was suffering significantly for a year (shortly after the wedding, he stopped coming to church or engaging with anyone there, wasn’t spending any time with God, became very hard hearted towards the church and everyone in it), but that seems to be improving and he’s very recently started to come back and be more engaged in our community. I’m hoping and praying that if he’s consistent with that and continues to move towards God, that his attitude towards me will soften. Thankfully, I do have godly support. I have a few women from my church who have loved me well and provided me with solid counsel, but it’s still a lonely road.
        Thanks so much for the virtual hug 🙂
        Even though my circumstances are different from many of the women who read your blog, I still find encouragement here.

        1. Emily,

          Is your husband dealing with depression or any addictions or history of abuse?

          what was his parents’ marriage like?

          What was your parents’ marriage like?

          Would you like to talk about any issues you have in your walk with Christ?

          I’m here if you want to talk in more detail.

          Much love to you!

          Praying for you today!

          1. No depression at the moment, but he has struggled with it in the past. No “official” addictions, but he does struggle with overspending and overeating. He has never hit me, and as far as I know, was never a victim of physical abuse. His parents both have anger issues; he grew up in a very angry, manipulative household. He wasn’t really taught how to be a man or even how to treat people.

            My mom is the stereotypical dominant & controlling wife. When I’m at my parents’ house, I still cringe at the way she treats my dad. She didn’t have good examples growing up and likely doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. I think I was always so afraid of turning into her that I went too far in the opposite direction and never learned how to voice my feelings and thoughts and desires in a respectful and honest way, especially with my husband.

            Mostly I’m just learning to trust God even when my circumstances are difficult. There have certainly been other difficult times in my life, but this is the first time that the difficulty is another person, rather than circumstances beyond anyone’s control, and for some reason that’s harder. I know I’m not perfect, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes. We all hurt others with our sin. But sometimes it just feels as if my wounds are so deep that it takes very little to re-open them. And learning how to go to God with that, and figuring out how to accept that my circumstances in this world may not change, well those are proving difficult.

          2. Emily,

            I am so glad to hear that he has been coming to church again.
            When did he accept Christ?

            What was your relationship like before you got married?

            Did you have godly premarital counseling?

            Does your husband apologize after being harsh?

            What kinds of things have wounded you the most?

            How do you respond when you are deeply hurt?

            What does your husband say he wants or needs?

            What are you studying in God’s word lately! how much time are you spending in Bible study and prayer daily? What are you praying for?

            What are your greatest fears?

            What do you believe you need to be happy?

            How do you try to express yourself? What happens when you do?

            Much love!!!!

          3. Hi April!
            You ask such great questions! And my answers are long!
            My husband accepted Christ in college (we are in our 30s and have been married for a year). Our relationship before getting married was great; our faith was a big shared part of our relationship, and we hardly ever fought. He was generous and warm and affectionate with me. He still can be all of those things, but I just never know when.
            We did have godly premarital counseling.
            Many times he does not apologize but he is getting better.

            A lot of nonverbal communication has been very damaging (lots of eye rolling, sighing, glares). These things can be soul crushing. One of the most damaging things that happened many times was just being yelled at relentlessly. I would beg him to stop but he wouldn’t. This hasn’t happened in several months, and he is genuinely very sorry for the times when it did happen. I’m trying very hard to forgive him. A general lack of consideration for my feelings or preferences makes me feel like I don’t matter, and that is devastating.

            I usually respond by getting very upset and crying, and then withdrawing. Occasionally I do respond in anger, which obviously does not make things better.

            My husband would like me for me to be more sexually aggressive, which I struggle with for a lot of reasons. I don’t ever refuse, but if I feel emotionally disconnected, then there are limits to what I can do…and because of various conflicts regarding sex we’ve had in our short marriage, I often feel used and degraded. I do know that he would like for me to be more needy, affectionate, and affirming. I’m pretty independent, as I was single for a long time before marriage. I have a lot of friends, traveled extensively, and bought what is now our house when I was still single. He feels threatened by my independence. But unfortunately, when I do ask for his help, he doesn’t often come through, so I hesitate to ask again. His neediness tends to push me away and makes me feel smothered. Transitioning to the wife role has been difficult for me. I’m getting better at asking him before making plans, instead of just telling him, but I still have to remind myself to do this. Being affectionate and affirming do not come naturally to me, and I really struggle in these areas. I also am more decisive and make decisions more quickly, and like many other women, I struggle to stay patient when my husband cannot do that. And like a lot of men, he often wants me to watch TV with him, which drives me crazy because like a lot of women, I don’t see this time as really connecting. I often hate whatever he’s watching (they’re not bad, they’re just never things I would choose to watch). So I have a hard time doing this because I get so antsy and there are so many other things I would rather be doing.

            Right now, I’m reading a Lent devotion and I also started going through Hosea. Maybe 15-20 minutes a day? Not a whole lot. Sometimes my prayers are nothing more than, “I’m hurting, please help me.” I also pray for mercy, for redemption for our marriage. I pray that God would enable me to forgive fully, that I would not hold on to resentment and become bitter. I pray that my sin would be revealed to me.

            My biggest fear is that this will be the next 50 years of my life. We both want children and I don’t have a lot of time to waste before that’s not a possibility, but I’m very afraid of what our children would learn from us, and the thought of that breaks my heart. I also fear that I will continue to lose my voice and will no longer know who I am.

            I know that I only need Jesus to be happy, that in Him I have all things. But even though I know that, I would very much like a happy healthy marriage. Being a part of our church community and larger community are also very important to me—these things make me feel grounded and like I have purpose. I fight against the idol of busy-ness; being busy often makes me feel like I matter.

            Usually trying to express myself comes in the form of a question: “would it be ok if we kept the thermostat at X degrees?” And then my husband will agree but wait until I go to sleep or he thinks I forgot the request and turn it back to what he wanted (to name a small example). If I’m attempting to express hurt, I do my best to say something like, “I’m feeling a little hurt by [x situation],” or “I feel like we’re starting to live separate lives and I would like to find a way to be more intentional with our time.” And usually he blames me for whatever hurts me, dismisses me, interrupts me, or ignores me. In the last example, instead of working for a solution, his first reaction was to tell me it was my fault. So because of things like this, it takes me hours or days to work up the courage to ask or tell him something. If I can’t sleep because he’s playing on his phone (I’ve had insomnia most of my life and any light bothers me), I will often lie there for half an hour trying to get up the nerve to ask if he can turn it off or go in another room until he’s ready for bed.

          4. Emily,

            Would you want to give an example of a conversation where he was yelling and what you said or where you feel like you don’t matter?

            Maybe we can talk about alternative ways to approach such situations together?

            What happens after you get very upset and cry and withdraw?

            Why do you feel used and degraded during sex?

            How do you ask for help? What are some specific examples? And what happened? Then what did you do in response?

            Being a godly wife doesn’t come naturally to anyone! Sin comes naturally to our sinful nature. Being a godly wife requires dying to self and living in the power of God’s Spirit! That takes time, prayer and much attention to God!

            My husband makes decisions slowly. I now appreciate that he carefully processes decisions and researches things before deciding on something. But I used to get so impatient with him! Now I realize he is not wrong, he is just different, and that difference is actually a blessing to me so many times!

            I don’t really like watching TV much either. but I sit with my husband and cuddle with him there because it helps him feel bonded to me -and I do like the cuddling part! And – now, he is willing to have deep conversations with me many times even though the TV is on. I love that.

            Sometimes we will do things that are not what we want/need just because we want to bless our husbands and show them love in the ways that speak to them the most.

            You actually have the choice to hold on to resentment and bitterness – you will have to be the one to lay those things down. I had a HARD time laying down my resentment and bitterness. But when I realized that I had to choose between my bitterness or Jesus, it helped me see things much more clearly.

            I have some posts on bitterness and forgiveness!

            Are you willing to spend more time with God and much, much more time in prayer asking Him to show you your sin and to change you to make you more and more like Jesus?

            Would you like to share a conversation where you said you felt like you were starting to live separate lives… that sounded like a good approach. What did he say about that it was your fault, and how did you respond?

            Are you willing to buy a sleep mask? That can help a lot!

            I would love for you to try saying, “I’m feeling cold/hot. I would like to have the temperature at X degrees, please.” If that makes him too cold/hot, then are you able to change your clothing to help you be more comfortable?

            What are the primary goals and purposes of your life?

            No rush. Take your time!

            Much love!

          5. Hi April!
            So the yelling. This has gotten better. But one example: Christmas Eve last year he wasn’t feeling well and wanted to leave my parents’ house early. I honestly had no idea. He didn’t speak to me the rest of the night and the next morning when we left for a family brunch, he just started in on me. He yelled the whole 45 minutes there. I was sobbing and begging him to stop but he wouldn’t.

            As far as listening…there are a lot of examples, from frustrations at work to exciting things happening in a ministry I’m involved with. He usually doesn’t even ask how my day was, and if he does, he doesn’t look up from his phone while I’m talking and will often cut me off.

            Last night, I accidentally dropped a piece of food on the floor, and he rolled his eyes at me and sighed loudly. I said I was sorry. He snapped at me for apologizing. I left the room for a minute to compose myself, and when I came back, he was already sitting down eating. I sat down at the table with him and thanked him for cooking. He didn’t acknowledge me at all. A few minutes later, he got up, cleared the table and left the room without a word, leaving me to sit there and finish my dinner alone. He refused to speak to me for the rest of the night, and stormed out for an hour without telling me where he was going. This morning he said he didn’t know what was wrong with me. I told him that it hurts me when he ignores me and when he rolls his eyes at me. He said that I’m making things up.

            A little while later, after I was at work, he texted me that he rolls his eyes at me to keep from yelling at me. I told him that it made me sad that he’s choosing between rolling his eyes at me or yelling. He says there’s nothing sad about that.

            Usually after I cry and then withdraw, my husband goes to play video games. Whenever he’s finished, he’ll act like nothing happened and then he’ll get mad at me if I’m still upset. My general state these days is withdrawal because I’m so afraid of upsetting him.

            Regarding sex, he has used porn in the past (including the recent past), so I struggle with that. He consistently pressures me to do something I’m not comfortable with. I’ve asked him repeatedly to stop pressuring me but he won’t. Another thing is that he can also only have sex with me if he can’t see my face. I find this to be very hurtful. Whatever the real reason is, it makes me feel like he doesn’t want to see me and is wishing I was someone else. I’ve asked about it (not saying any of that, just saying, “hey it seems like this is the only way we ever have sex and I was just wondering if there was a reason for it”), but he brushed off the question.

            I came from a home that was always kept neat and clean, and my parents both participated equally in the management of the home. My husband’s family didn’t make that a priority, and he also never had any responsibilities in the home, so everything fell to me. I was not expecting that at all because it’s so very different from how I grew up. When we first got married this was a significant source of frustration for me, but I’ve mostly let it go. So now I’m specific and nice when I make requests (although I made a lot of mistakes with this for the first 6 months). There is a task that I really hate doing, so about a month ago, I asked him if he could please take care of it. He said yes, he would do it that week. But a few weeks passed, and it wasn’t done. And it still didn’t get done until I went and bought the supplies and put them out for him. There are other things—one of the toilets in our house hasn’t been working for a month, and he won’t get it fixed, and other stuff like that. It’s very much my nature to fix a problem as soon as I see it, as long as it can be fixed affordably. And so my tendency is to just jump in and do it myself when it doesn’t get done. He gets upset at this because it emasculates him (which I actually do understand), but it’s hard for me to live in a house where things are falling apart and just live with it, when there’s a simple solution. I am trying to accept it, but this is very hard for me.

            It was actually just a few days ago when I told him I felt like we were beginning to live separate lives and I would like to talk about how to fix that. And that’s exactly what I said: “I’m starting to feel like we’re living separate lives here, and it scares me, and I’d like to talk about how we can fix that so we can be more connected.” He said, “well I play video games and watch stupid stuff on TV because I’m bored to death with our relationship. Why do you always have to focus on the negative anyway? Things are fine, and you’re such a downer.” I was really hurt by that but asked him what his suggestions were for fixing his boredom. And he said, “we just need to be more intentional about spending time together.” I said yes, that I agree with that, but that I also think we needed something more concrete. But he wouldn’t agree to anything more concrete, so the conversation fizzled out.

            I’ve tried a sleep mask, but unfortunately I can’t stand having anything on my face when I sleep. I think I have tried absolutely everything that is available for sleep. I also dress as comfortably as I can for sleep and I have no problem adding or taking off layers if necessary. He refuses to sleep with less than a comforter, a quilt, and a blanket, so for him to be comfortable he sometimes wants it to be 55 degrees in the house or colder.

            My purposes and goals? I always wanted children but am beginning to come to terms with the fact that having a family is not a good idea for us. This is devastating to me. Outside of that, I have always been passionate about discipleship and mercy ministry. When I was single, I spent a good bit of time mentoring teenage girls, as well as being involved in a couple of different community organizations. I cut back on that significantly when we got married. That was definitely the right decision, but I do miss being more involved in direct ministry, especially since being at home is so painful and difficult.

            I am struggling right now with anger, and that mostly goes unexpressed. I know this is sin. I fully understand that I cannot control how my husband treats me, what he says to me, etc, but I am 100% responsible for my own reactions to it. For a long time I was doing fairly well but lately I have been getting more and more upset. I am willing to spend more time in prayer, but finding the right time will be difficult. I can’t really be alone in our house, so the best option is usually to come into the office before anyone else gets here. But unfortunately my husband gets upset when I leave early for work. He has accused me of cheating on him multiple times and has said on occasion that he doesn’t believe that I’m going to work (or having lunch with a girlfriend or anything else that is the slightest bit off of my normal schedule). I have never lied about where I’m going or who I’m going with, and I have never entertained even the smallest thought of cheating. I don’t have male friends, and the friends that we have, I am careful to talk primarily with the wives. I don’t even email men outside of my job, and when I travel for work, I refuse to travel with men unless there will be other people on the trip. There is really no reason for this suspicion.

  7. Probably impractical to do, but it would be interesting to see how both husband and wife would respond to this survey without the other knowing their partners response.Just to see if there’s any difference in perspective.

  8. My husband was always dominant. He was also the rescuer. I played helpless and passive. This did not work for us because some of my disrespectful tendencies pushed him further into anger and aggression. I had to learn so much about men and that he was neither my daddy nor my God. Understanding how to use my influence and self respect (self care, poise under conflict and assertiveness) with new information on the needs of men has really begun to turn things around. I’ve been traveling this road to true Biblical submission for 5 months now. I no longer feel like a passive, lonely victim but productive for my marriage and for Christ. I feel strong and knowledgeable. I’m getting the sense that he is now feeling empowered by his wife, understood and trusted. He’s begun sharing his dreams again and flirting with me. Your long list of books has been really helpful and no one schools like the Lord! God bless you and your work. You’re saving countless families.

    1. Refined,

      WOW! You know how to make my day! 🙂

      PRAISE GOD for what He is doing in your life. I wonder if you might allow me to share this on my FB page later?

      Much love!

      I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you!

  9. I voted controlling wife and husband being both controlling and passive. Here’s why:
    I have always been controlling/dominant through the 14 years we’ve been married. He also has a controlling/dominant personality and what I have learned, we have fought for the leadership position and have created A LOT of animosity in our home. He has, for the most part, backed down, given up, and has become more passive/unplugged because of me! I have learned from you that he has just become tired of being challenged ALL THE TIME and is exhausted from it. I am so thankful for what I have learned from your blog! I have learned that when there are MAJOR anger blowups on his part, is when I am challenging his authority and when I am trying to control the situation. I have gotten a lot better but still have a LONG way to go! I am in control of nothing, God is in control of everything!

    April, on a different note, wasn’t there a post where you mentioned that it might be a good idea to print off a list of things that we might be doing that is disrespectful to out husbands. Let him read it and check the things that I do that makes him feel disrespected. ???

    1. Gottaletgo,

      Isn’t it interesting how the patterns can change over time? My prayer is for you to find that beautiful balance that comes from understanding and living out God’s design by His power!

      Yes! The post at the top of my home page is a (rather lengthy) list of things a number of husbands shared felt disrespectful to them.

      Several wives have done that and said they found it to be very helpful.

      There is also a list of things that are respectful that some wives ask their husbands to check what feels respectful to them, too.

      What Is Respect in Marriage?

      I am so excited to see how God will heal you both. Thank you for sharing!

  10. My husband is definitely the one in control & I am the passive one. I have so enjoyed your blog/videos, etc. to help me be a getter wife and more respectful to my husband. We’ve been married more than 20 years and we still have so much to learn. I am doing Nina Roesner’s Respect Dare. It is not easy, but it is working to change me! One of my children told me, “Mom, you’re not so negative any more!” So, it is even helping with my children!

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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