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Have You Been Hurt?

If you have been hurt here on my blog by something I said or something another commenter said, I want to know about it, please! If I don’t know about it, I can’t fix it. And if I don’t know about it, I can’t apologize for what is was that was a problem for you if I sinned against you in some way.
I am not interested in the approval of people – or I certainly would not write about the things I write about. And I understand that no one will agree with everything I say. I am not concerned about that – we will all stand accountable to God. No one answers to me. I will continue to boldly speak God’s Word. I will make no apology for God’s truth.

But I am concerned about not breaking “a bruised reed.” I want to approach everyone with humility, the love of God, compassion and respect. There may only be a few who have felt hurt – but I care very much if I have wronged a sister of mine in some way.

One unfortunate thing about communicating in writing is that there are no non-verbal cues at all. So, it is possible sometimes for things to come across to people in ways that the person writing did not intend. I wish that you could hear my voice and see my facial expressions – I think that would really help if we could be face to face having a real conversation.

My heart is that I love Jesus, and I love women and I care VERY much about women having beautiful, godly, healthy marriages and a strong walk with Christ Jesus.

I am not an expert. I am not super human. I am not perfect. I do not have all the answers. I am just another wife on this journey. I mess up sometimes. I can get exhausted and overwhelmed at times. I am attempting to minister to a LARGE number of women, not knowing exactly where everyone is at any given moment. I am in desperate need of the power of God and wisdom and love of God every single moment. Apart from Him, there is no good in me at all. I am a wretched sinner.

My fervent prayer and hope is that I might point women to Christ and His Word and His power and that they might find healing, hope, faith, comfort, peace, strength, courage, power, joy and abundant life in Him. It is my goal to treat everyone with honor, respect, dignity and the love of Christ. I give ideas and suggestions that I hope will help point women towards living the lives God commands us to live as wives and believers in Christ. Ultimately, though, I pray that each wife will listen much more to God’s voice and His Word than to my suggestions. I pray we will all be sensitive to God’s Spirit and filled with His power to do His will and to walk in obedience to Christ.

I do talk about some very painful and difficult issues here. These are often issues that we all probably “should” have heard about at home or in church as we were growing up, but maybe we didn’t – and sometimes these things can be quite a shock – realizing that we have sin that we didn’t know we had. I know it was a huge shock for me when God showed me all of my sin, that is for sure!

I also only address things that wives can change. I don’t talk about what husbands “could” or “should” do. That doesn’t mean that husbands have no fault or no room for improvement. And it doesn’t mean wives are 100% responsible for all problems in marriage. Not at all! All husbands are wretched sinners just like all wives and all people are. But I only talk about the wife’s side of the equation and what wives can control. So – yes, my blog is one-sided. However, all of God’s commands to husbands still apply to them and they are still accountable to God for obeying Him even though I do not teach husbands.

If you are hurting, especially because of something I said – I need to know. I want to know. I want to try to make things right if I did anything that has wounded you.

Each of you are precious to me and important to me. I want to be a blessing to you, not a hindrance and certainly not a source of pain or injury.

Much love!


If you would prefer to email me, please leave me a comment and let me know. ๐Ÿ™‚ I will try to contact you as soon as I can. I’m working a bit extra this week.

18 thoughts on “Have You Been Hurt?

  1. Your wisdom is truly from God as if God is speaking to me about my sin — and yes being confronted with MY SIN HURTS! God bless u April for speaking truth even when it may offend. U do it in such a loving way– never in a judgmental way (like I would!) u r such a godly example. Thank Jesus for you!!

    1. I totally agree with Carla! I appreciate your honesty! You are the first to admit your own faults. That goes a long way in helping others to confront their sin.

  2. April,
    I feel like you are truly being used of by God to minister to many, many women!! You speak with grace, biblical wisdom, sound doctrine, and truth in love! I believe you are doing your very best with God’s help. I can “see” and hear your wonderful heart for the Lord and it is so apparent you want to help and never hurt. May you preserve, my dear sister in Christ!!

  3. Iโ€™ve never posted here before. I am a reader that reads behind the scenes. I found your blog at a time when I was going through a very rough spot in my marriage. You have no idea how your Peaceful Wifeโ€™s blog has made me wiser to my marriage. I am very thankful for that. I may not agree with โ€œeverythingโ€ but who can agree with everything everyone says. I come here to read though, because in the bigger picture and in the smallest of pictures, you have so much to offer.

    And I do agree, it can sometimes be difficult to communicate over an internet. I do, however, hear your kindness and know that you are true. Thank you for keeping this blog so very active.

    1. treasurehaven,

      It is a pleasure to meet you! Thank you so much for introducing yourself. I can’t wait to see all that God has in store for you. I hope you might share more of your story sometime when you are ready. It makes my day to hear that God is working in your marriage so powerfully! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Dear April,

    Your ministering to such a large audience and I really appreciate your humbleness to be in touch with people individually and all this without having any price tag added to it!! You’re amazing!!! Praying for you each day, your on my prayer list!! May God use you more and more for HIS glory!

    You’re doing an terrific job April!!!

    Loadsss of Love

  5. April,

    I think just the fact you posted that would speak to the fact that “if” you hurt someone it was not intended. Hurt is a personal thing. Different things can hurt different people in different ways. Mainly your blog speaks to and is written to address women with “Type A” and controlling personalities. It seems likely that if that type of a woman disagreed with something you said, rather than be hurt by it, they would just state the disagreement and why they disagree.

    I don’t think it’s possible to address difficult topics without feeling some hurt. If we, as wives, read something that we identify with and become hurt over, it’s not because YOU or anyone else wrote it. It’s because the Holy Spirit is working on us.

    I don’t agree with everything that everyone writes on here. Some stuff I read differently or I have a different view of. The entire premise of your blog is to help women become respectful, peaceful wives. Not to resolve every problem in their marriage. There are some issues, in some marriages, that simply cannot be resolved with what you share. That’s just an awful fact. Maybe it’s the husbands issue or the wives issue or both.

    But none of what is shared here, discussed here (and sometimes debated here) is wrong or harmful. It’s simply a truth that a marriage cannot survive with one person who is too dominant and one who is too passive. The dominating person must step down and the passive person must step up. And God help the marriages like mine where we are both dominating!:-)

    It is nice that you posted this but please keep in mind that not everyone will like what you say on your blog. Some people will be hurt by it but they need to remember that it’s not personal. If they don’t relate that’s ok perhaps someone else out there does.


  6. April:
    I think you do a FABULOUS job on this blog – and the fact that so many women have already “ran to your defense” in your quest to identify hurt that you might have caused unintentionally, shows how loved and appreciated you are. However, I think that some of them might have missed your noble point. The point is – the fact that you are speaking the truth, the fact that you are not targeting everyone, does not mean that you might not have hurt some people. Even those who already have other wounds.

    That is what you have recognized, and I think it is admirable that you seek to find those instances when you do unintentionally hurt someone and that you are aiming to address it. You will never please everyone. However, to simply say – The truth hurts and that’s all, is not enough either. Being Christian is not only about being submissive wives — it is also about being loving and kind to others, and that is what you are aiming to do here.

    Your target in this post is for those you have hurt — not for those you have not. I hope those persons will see how warm, open and real you are and will use this as an opportunity to acknowledge and heal those wounds which might have just been caused by a mere misunderstanding.

  7. April
    Your gonna need a thicker skin dear. Your speaking Gods word and people are gonna be hurt or even angry and accuse you of being hurtful. Detach a little and keep doing what your doing. This Blog is saveing my marriage. It pointed me to a relationship with Christ. I was VERY HURT by your blog but it was the Holy Spirit convicting me and I am grateful.Theres a scripture that one of the apostles was saying how he had hurt some people by what he was saying and that he was ok with that since his words brought them Godly sorrow and led them to repentence. So like this apostle, just be OK with it. 2Co 7:8-10

  8. April,
    No one can say the perfect thing at the perfect time in the perfect way, but you come as close to perfecting the art of tactfulness–telling the truth without hurting the other person’s feelings–as anyone I’ve ever known. We recognize that you are speaking God’s truth and God’s wisdom with LOVE and understanding, and that is PRICELESS! You also provide the personal touch, a hearing ear and an empathetic heart, which those of us who are hurting so desperately need. I am praying that you can make this your full-time ministry, perhaps by allowing us to buy your book and even other products listed that we could all use. But I digress. . . I think what all of us here want you to know is that we love and appreciate you far beyond what mere words could ever express. As you continue in this ministry, please don’t ever forget.

  9. Very well said, everyone. Very well said. I’ll pray for the sisters who have been hurt the way you’re descibing, April, the ones you are feeling in your spirit. That they should come forward without fear and know that they will be received in love.

  10. Thanks for the comments, ladies.

    I am well aware that not everyone will agree with everything I say. That is totally fine with me. No one answers to me. But we will all answer to God. So – His opinion is the only one that ultimately matters at all, not mine.

    I am also definitely aware that not everyone will like my blog. I am certainly not seeking the approval of people by writing this blog and about the topics I write about. I do this because I have to. I believe it is what God desires me to do and I can’t keep myself from doing this. I have to share this treasure of heaven with my sisters whom I love and want God’s best for. It’s ok if people don’t like my blog. I expect that. For those who don’t have Christ or He is not Lord, the things I write about will not make sense.

    I will not apologize for speaking the truth of God boldly and courageously and clearly. I am accountable and responsible to God Himself for that. I long more than anything for Him to empower me to be faithful to Him and to His work that He desires me to do.

    There is great pain in conviction. That is true. It is unavoidable. Conviction is the work of God’s Spirit, though, it is not my job. I praise God for the pain of conviction that leads many to repentance and to seeking a life of godliness and holiness and seeking Christ.

    What I am concerned with here are “the bruised reeds.” I don’t want to break them. I know there are sisters of mine who may be in such great pain, and who may misunderstand or hear me in a way I didn’t anticipate and be more deeply wounded – not in a convicted kind of way – but in a way that they feel they have been sinned against. These are the sisters and women I am seeking with this post. I want the chance to make things right with them if they are hurting in some way and there is something I can do about it. If possible, I long to extend the healing of God, friendship, reconciliation, an apology if I have done something sinful against them in some way.

    Thank you all for the encouragement and love!

  11. I’ll say I’m thankful to the Lord for you and others like you who take a stand for right, for what God says is right! And I feel like you are doing a wonderful job working for the Lord. Allowing Him to speak through you and use you by just being obedient. I pray I can be more and more obedient to please Him. Keep up the good work! I believe we should encourage and lift up our sisters. Thank you for all you do!

  12. Hi April, I love your blog, and I learn a lot from you and your readers, but the only thing that bugs me is the ads that come up here and there. I don’t think they are appropriate for what you reflect. But I don’t know if you have control over that.

    1. JustaComment,
      I don’t have control over the ads. ๐Ÿ™ I could pay money not to have ads, but my husband doesn’t want to spend money on that. My understanding is that the ads are different for different people based on their google search history. But I am not an expert on WordPress Ads, I didn’t even know there were ads showing up for some people until I had the blog over a year! Maybe one day I will have the means to host my site myself and that won’t be an issue then. :). Thanks for the comment!

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