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"I am Part of the Bride of Christ!"

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From a dear wife  – who has been going through an extremely difficult time in her marriage and has given me permission to share.  Ladies, you may need tissues for this one!
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Although I have been a Christian since I was 7 years old, attended church all but one of my 41 years, taught every age group of Sunday School and Bible School . ..I never realized until 3 nights ago that Jesus wears a wedding ring for me, identifying me as His bride.  You know, as part of the “Bride of Christ” we’ve heard lessons and sermons about and thought “Oh, that’s a nice illustration.”
Let me tell you how graciously He told me about His wedding ring.
 
It was three nights ago that I was facing the most grueling of all personal hell I have known since the turmoil in my marriage ensued, dropping the darkest, most hopeless veil over me I have ever felt.   So exhausted from what felt like the never ending battle.  I had just had a screaming fit on God the day before as I paced the floors of my house alone as usual.  I told him I was tired of hearing all the “love” speeches, tired of being quoted and reading scripture, tired of having to be the spiritual leader in my home, tired of crying every single day, tired of hearing how He came to give me an abundant life because being ignored as my husband backed up and took a running shot to run over my hemorrhaging carcus again was no way, no how any kind of a abundance other than abundant hell.
I had been faithful and respectful.   A true helpmeet.  Yet God just kept giving him more free passes and he was burning through them all.  I felt like I was past the point of no return hearing the “I don’t love you like a wife and that is not going to change” speech…. AGAIN with his cold, glaring eyes as if he was enjoying it had finally hit my snap line.  I even said at least God let me dream better than this when I was a little girl.  At least I had no clue then of the mind-shattering pain I know now.
My worst fear has always been abandonment and that’s exactly the road God had dumped me off on in my mind.

So, I told Him to take all His promises and leave me alone….and I half way meant it.    

But you know the whole time during my rant I could almost hear Him say “I can take it.”
Not long after that I found myself crying on His shoulder again.  In the wee hours of the morning He was quietly providing the shoulder that was big enough to take my insults and comfort me anyway.  As I quietened down lying there with the human “block of ice” next to me,
God began to speak.
He had patiently waited all day to get a word in.  No speeches, no lectures, no demands.  He gently reminded me of how He wants my love and devotion first and foremost even more than I give to husband or children and will accept nothing less.  I knew that.  How many times has that been said and taught.
Yea God, I know that but I’m kinda hurting right now and I’d like to just die, ok?
As I lay there in soaking wet sheets from unending tears, I was contemplating all the little things I would miss about my husband despite all the hurt if we ended our marriage.  One of the things I love about my husband is his hands.  I absolutely love the way his hands look and the way they feel on my skin.  Most especially I love the way my wedding ring looks on his hand.  
Instantly I saw a picture in my mind of Jesus’ hand with a hole in the center that was healed but definitely marked.  He said to me “You are my bride and I bear this ring that I will never take off to prove it.  Even if your husband takes his off, the proof that you are mine and I’m in love with you can not be changed.”  At that moment Jesus’ hands became so much more important to me.  I knew all that to begin with but oh what it took to cause my “Christian heart” to soak it up and understand.
Now I’m not going to say all is fixed in my house tonite, but  I am going to say that despite the fact that I threw a fit, announced my divorce from Him the day before and, and sought to abandon Him because I didn’t want to love him like my God anymore.. He still keep my ring on and claimed me as His bride.
Sound familiar?
I did the same thing to Him that my husband was doing to me in telling me that he didn’t love me like a wife and was taking my precious ring for granted.  No Jesus didn’t throw any fits on me…. just did that thing He does best….welcomed me back as His dear bride and the best parts of it is He will never throw it up to me even if I fail again and ……the ring is not coming off.  
Jesus… He was right on time, again.

0 thoughts on “"I am Part of the Bride of Christ!"

  1. Wow…that’s beautiful. I wish I could get back to the place where could hear God’s voice…I’m in a difficult marriage as well and I find that with him being an unbeliever and me being a weak Christian, more an more every day I am turning back to what I used to be….I am more influenced by my husband, than he is from me….an I can see it an I’m not sure how it happened, when it happened, or what to do about it. All I know is I feel furtherandfurther Away from Jesus the longer I’ve been married to him. Any advice would be appreciated.

    1. Lacey,

      It is wonderful to meet you!

      I have LOTS of posts and resources to help you find your way back to God – to be able to lay down anything that has come between you and God – and to allow Him in.

      I have to go to work right now… but hope to talk with you again tonight or tomorrow!

      Check out this video How to See God do BIG Things in Your Marriage

      And “Tearing Out the Idols”

      How to Pray for Your Husband so that God Will Hear

      My Way Isn’t Working? Where Do I Start to Be a Godly Wife?

      Also, check out the posts at the top of my home page:

      – Husbands Share What is Disrespectful to Them
      – Signs Your Husband May be Feeling Disrespected
      – (the one about) Respect
      – Biblical Submission
      I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you!!!!!!

    2. One of the people I ‘follow’ on Facebook made this post this morning. It is inspirational for me and I printed it so that I can read it throughout the day today.

      Her name is Sandi Krakowski.
      When you start to feel disconnected from God, just tell Him. “God I feel so far from you, please come near to me” He will. I promise. Press in… part of your assignment is to hold a space where heaven can rule and reign, through and around you. This takes work. Its not a work to prove that God loves you, that you’ve earned His love. No, that all comes through Jesus. We earn the FULL love of God through Jesus. But if we want to be the powerful mighty people of God we’ve been called to be we must PRESS IN. It is a battle. It is a war. Don’t be so surprised! Don’t be so weary! Say it, “God I feel so disconnected from you. I’m sitting here and I need you now!” He will come near to you. Don’t just ‘tack Him on’ to your day. Set aside time everyday to talk to Him. Really talk to Him. Really have relationship with Him. Read His word…. The religious spirit also reads His word & is not in relationship with Him. That’s dangerous! Understanding Bible verses and even knowing the Greek and the Hebrew won’t save you or bring you into deep intimacy with the Father. I love the Greek & Hebrew. I LOVE studying God’s word. But it is HIM that I want! His presence. Him. His touch. Relationship with Him is what keeps me vibrant. Reading His Word when I am in Him & having relationship with Him REWRITES the Book! HA! It becomes ALIVE, daily! It’s what keeps me alive. Not church membership. Not a prayer meeting. Not a Bible study. I love my local church. I LIVE to pray and intercede. I love studying my Bible. But a deep intimate relationship with the holy Trinity and living IN heaven while I’m ON the earth, this is what I was created for and so were you. THE LOVE OF GOD settles the matter. Seek HIM. Seek His righteousness. Stop trying to be so good and stop trying to earn His affection. RECEIVE His affection. RECEIVE His love. This makes you altogether good AND powerful! Lean in. Press in, my friends. Take the time. IF you do this… if you pursue relationship with Him above everything else in the entire world…. your entire world will change. Your work will be brighter. Your communication will be better. Your brain will operate more fully! You’ll dream again! He is my DNA. He is my all. Nothing has any value to me apart from Him. And with HIM?!?! OH MY GOODNESS…. life is a blast! Through its highs and its lows and its challenges and its victories. Life in a loving deep relationship with Him…. is worth it all. Love you! Have a great day today.

  2. We can learn so much about marriage from the demonstration that Jesus gives us! In fact, I shudder to think where my marriage would be without His real life demonstration.

  3. This gives concern because after associating with a gentleman for six to seven months, I am starting to wonder will he be the right man for me because we begun the courting process and it does not take a year for a person to get married nor even two years for a person to marry. This sounds troubling.

  4. This story really backs up what I am still learning. It has become very clear to me this week and last that I not only thought (for 20 years) that my husband and I had the best marriage, loved each other more than any other couple on the planet…I trusted him completely and took that for granted. What I have learned is that my husband was my idol.i depended more on his love than I did on the Lord’s love for me. After he totally shut down on me and looked at me and answered my question of “are you still in love with me?” with a blank stare and “I really don’t know anymore” I have spent 8 agonizing months living under the same roof with a man who has become a stranger to me. As I have read and studied and prayed endlessly,. I have been shown that my only real true friend is Jesus. He will not leave me nor forsake me no matter what. I recently dug it out of my husband that he has been stewing for over 5 years about a statement I made out of frustration, about my kids and his lack of knowledge about kids since he never had any of his own. I simply lashed out in anger and said how I felt…I was done with it and he never let go of it. I hurt him deeply and I am now trying to make up for that and things are better in that he at least talks to me and acts like he wants to be in the same room (not in the same bed yet however)
    I have had to really pray and ask God to help me control my mouth and not let me say anything that would further hurt my husband. Ever since I prayed that, I can be thinking of something I’d like to say to him and a still small voice within me says “Leave this to me, I’ve got this!” And “no, don’t say anything, let me handle your husband’s heart,”
    I have realized that my happiness must be found in my only real true friend and only HIM. April, I am at that place now that you told me God would get me to eventually. It’s a much better place to be than where I have come from. I am at total peace and I know God will bring him out of this hurt and back into my arms again. It may be a long time, but I’m willing to give God all the time He needs to heal my husband’s heart of the damage I caused…unintentionally, but nevertheless, I caused it.

    1. LTL,

      Wow! This is BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!

      I’m so thankful your husband was willing to share what hurt him 5 years ago.

      One of the things I said to my husband after over a year of his working on a fixer-upper house for us 6 nights/week until midnight as I nursed our (often sick) baby and cared for our 5 year old was, “I feel like a single mom!” I wanted his help. He was fixing up this house as a gift to me – and a way to show me how much he loved me. That one comment crushed him. But I didn’t find out until 3 years later.

      Yes – praying for us to only bless with our mouths is HUGE!

      I love what you are hearing God say – and that you are listening!

      I hope you might allow me to share this with the other wives. I believe God will minister to many through your story.

      Thank you so much for sharing my sweet friend!

  5. April,
    I just read this not realizing until I was three sentences in that it was my own words. You wouldn’t believe how it was ‘right on time’ once again….on second thought, yes you would. No way were those my words, but His.

    1. Amy,

      I was praying you would see it. I actually have been thinking of you and praying for you a good bit this week. Definitely a God thing… I agree! 🙂

      You are right – those are His Words. I’m so thankful for your willingness to share them. Sending you a HUGE hug my beautiful sister! 🙂

  6. There are times when my inbox gets filled up with your new posts. I avoid them like the plague! The last thing I want to hear is how God and love can fix anything. I hurt so deeply and it feels so real, so that nothing will ever be okay again. Then, I give in, or a post catches my eye, or maybe it seems like “that post won’t make me feel like the burden is all on my shoulders, I can handle this one!” Then, I read, and read, and read, and I am overwhelmed by the realization that not only are there so many out there who have it the same (or worse) than me, but God is so much more powerful than I give Him credit for. The way He speaks through the women who visit this blog – it’s overwhelming! I find strength in the strength God gives them. It gives me hope. This is one of those posts. Thank you to your contributor for sharing her story and her hope!

    1. Holly,

      Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!!

      This is a very painful journey at times. I pray that God will continue to encourage you and lead you and give you strength. I know He will finish the work he has begun in you. 🙂

      I’m so glad you shared your heart. Isn’t it amazing to watch God at work in many women’s lives????

      I am the most blessed woman on the planet to get a front row seat to see all of these incredible stories!

      Sending you a huge hug!!!!!!

  7. Sometimes my heart feels as though it would burst open wide with the gratitude I feel for you, Amy, and what God has put on your heart. This ministry is so helpful. You made a comment above that when we are feeling overwhelmed that is when we are trying to do this on our own… how true this is.
    Do you know that I have to constantly remind myself to allow God to open my mouth and/or close it (more often than not He has to say “hush!”)?
    And I’m still fighting with myself to run to Him when my thoughts wander to the places that I know are not good for my marriage or for me emotionally.
    I’m thankful that I move forward in the right direction everyday. If only I could move a little quicker; apparently He still has some work to do with me yet. 😉

    1. Cleo,

      You are very welcome. I pray I might only share God’s Words, His message and His truth and that His spirit might speak to everyone who reads each word for His glory.

      Much love to you!!

      I am so excited about what God is doing in your heart!

    2. Thank you Cleo. You don’t know how much your kind words mean. I agree….I’d like for God to put the clutch down and kick it… into over drive! I don’t like waiting but I’m clearly not God either! LoL

    3. I am right there with you Cleo. I am at that point as well where I start to think about saying something and I clearly get a message directly from God that says I’ve got this! I will deal with your husband’s heart I don’t need your help. It has been an amazing journey for me. All of the different mind sets that I have had to go through. I have gone through devastation, anger, sadness and depression and every one of them has been something April has told me to expect. When she told me that God would put me in a position of finding my happiness completely in Him and not my husband she was so right. That is where I am now. I have had many meltdowns over the last 8 months but I am at peace and happy right now and I even look forward to my husband being gone all day tomorrow and me having the day alone just me and the Lord. I could not have said that 2 months ago or even 1 month ago. and I did not read that statement about how when you’re feeling overwhelmed it is because you are still trying to handle things but that is right on the money!

  8. I’m not married but this spoke to me. Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your life. Jesus wears my ring, even though I am not married, I’m His bride.

    Thank you!

  9. I am 2 years late in responding…wow is all I can say. I relate so much. How are these women and their marriages now?

My grandmother is on hospice and won't be with us much longer (11-30-16). I will get to comments when I am able to but I need to be with family right now. Thanks for understanding.

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