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A Question for the Husbands

I am looking for husbands to share things their wives do or could do that are respectful to them.  If you are willing to share, you may leave a comment on this post.

When wives are first learning about respect and submission, it can be VERY confusing what respect even means for many of us.

If you send me comments – I plan to use them anonymously in a post and may use them in a book I am working on.

Thank you so very much, gentlemen!

Ladies – if you know some things your husband thinks are respectful, you are welcome to share, also!

8 thoughts on “A Question for the Husbands

  1. My husband says the following:

    – listen without interrupting
    – don’t think for me
    – don’t use your “dumb guy” voice when repeating what I’ve said that you don’t agree with/think is stupid
    – refrain from explaining how to handle the children
    – do not correct my handling of the children or anything else in front of anyone, ever
    – talk me up in front of your family/my family
    – support my decisions, and if you disagree, do so in private
    – be my friend
    – tell me what kind of physical intimacy you like – it makes me feel more at ease and more purposeful in pleasing you
    – don’t over-talk things — try to use short sentence and direct words (I’m not dim, but I’m a guy … we don’t do big conversation)
    – let me know I’m enough, more than enough if you can — financially, emotionally, physically, mentally

    My husband, as “non-verbal” as he insists he is, assesses himself and life very accurately, and he speaks his mind and feelings clearly and concisely — I learn MUCH from this man.


    1. Amy,
      THIS is an awesome list!
      Please thank your husband for me! Many other husbands will benefit from his ability to articulate what respect is to him.
      THANK YOU!

  2. – When a big decision comes up and the husband says he needs time to think about it let him think about it. If you tell him don’t bother I’ll just do it my way then what’s the point of asking in the first place.

    – When you tell your husband not now or not tonight how about tomorrow (about any topic) then keep your word and re-arrange whatever you are doing to make sure you keep your word.

    – Find out what your husband takes as his most important responsibility and praise him for it.. (being a great father, being a great provider, being a great husband, etc).

    – Find out what his love language is and surprise him with something spontaneous that’s just for him.

    – Flirt with him in public, at a party, where other people (especially his friends/co-workers) can see it.

    – Offer up a back rub. Even if physical touch is not his love language most men carry a large burden (physically, spiritually, emotionally) on their shoulders and to offer up a back rub without being prompted is a wonderful release.

    – If your husband comes to talk to you (about anything) put down the phone/tablet/computer with facebook/texting and give him your full attention. It’s no different than when you want him to pause/turn off the TV when you want to talk to him.

    – Let him know when he does things that make you happy. Most husbands biggest goal in marriage is to make their wife happy.

  3. Respect from my wife comes in many forms. She never ever speaks “bad” about me to anyone not a best friend or a family member; she yields to me when I am at home when it comes to our children’s discipline. My wife also seeks me out if there is a “big” decision to be made about the home, children or finances, even if it is something she knows I trust her with and don’t have an opinion either way, she realizes that I may see things from a different angle and wants to affirm the decision. To me although those previously mentions acts are great and I am glad she respects me by involving me, must of all she allows me to be me, I have a passion for the out of doors and she has come along side me in these endeavors. She may not always think it is “fun” to hike when it’s muddy and cold but she goes along for the ride; she also encourages me to have time with the children one on one and also have time just by myself or with a friend standing in a river fly-fishing. All this being said something that is important to note she realizes that I am ultimately responsible to God for the family she also knows that I trust her to make great decisions and that I support her doing so; I also treat my wife with respect and kindness and am typically supportive of her activities, my job as a husband is to provide and protect and part of that is to provide your wife an environment to grow in her Walk. In Ephesians 5 it talks about being washed in the Word it is in reference to Christ and the Church that is our model so I seek to fulfill that with my wife also. Ephesians 5 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church[q]in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.

  4. While there are basics that are generally true in any marriage, there are many things that are unique to each to man and each marriage. Some things that my wife does that communicate respect to me are:
    1) Thanking me for praying with her and being eager to do so.
    2) Being eager to see me when I come home and greeting me.
    3) Allowing or waiting for me to open doors for her – but doing it in such a way that she doesn’t appear helpless.
    4) Covering my faults and sins especially in conversations with others. At the same time not bragging about me to others.
    5) Recognizing and genuinely appreciating things I have done for her. Telling me how something I have done was a help to her.
    6) Keeping me informed -generally and specifically.
    7) Saying goodnight when she is ready to go to bed.
    8) Being genuinely happy and satisfied
    9) Asking for my input.
    10) Aligning her priorities to the vision I have laid out for the day or the season at hand.
    11) Competent running of the household while intelligently following our established guidelines.
    12) Speaking up when she sees the bridge out ahead.
    13) Telling me about her day.

    With many of these things, how they are done is just as important as the fact that they are done, possibly more so – especially #6, 9, 12, & 13

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