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Appreciating Marriage



Do  you remember way back before you got married?  Do you remember what it was like the first time your husband held  your hand? How about your first kiss?  Do you remember how much time you used to spend getting ready to see him – making sure your hair and makeup was in the absolute best possible condition?  Do you remember the smell of his cologne, and his adorable grin, and how you just beamed with adoration for him almost all the time?  Do you remember how you used to flirt with him?  Remember how you got butterflies in your stomach just thinking about how amazing it would be to actually get to LIVE with your man once you got married?   Remember thinking how much better life would be if you never had to say good-bye.  Do you remember how SAD it was to say good-bye???  I would often cry – I knew it would be a whole WEEK before I would get to see my man again, and it just seemed IMPOSSIBLE to have to wait that long to see him again.  I loved being with him.  I loved his sense of humor, his crooked smile, his beautiful copper colored eyes and strong, masculine nose and cheeks.  I loved how calm and patient he was, how smart and resourceful he was.  And how he loved to surprise me and whisk me out to dinner or to a Christian concert.  I didn’t care WHERE we were as long as we were together.

It was your admiration, your look of trust and faith in him that had him hooked on you.  You made him feel like the most masculine, powerful man on earth.  And he LOVED it.  In fact, he couldn’t get enough.  He wanted to be with you as much as possible – because being with you gave him a high – that sparkle in your eyes, that acceptance of who he was, that way you looked at him made him feel like he was Superman.

You can still have that power over him.  You’ll just need to remember some of the things you used to do and put them back into practice. 🙂


Go even farther back.  Do  you remember before you even had a boyfriend?  Do you remember thinking, “I’m NEVER going to have a boyfriend!”   Ha!  I remember crying about that when I was 15 years old on August 26, 1988 – the night before I met my husband-to-be.  FIFTEEN – and I was crying that I would never have a boyfriend.  Oh, what I wish the me now could have said to the me then!

The next night, we met at a Christian concert – sitting in a gravel parking lot at a local Christian bookstore.  My husband and his friend were arguing about if my identical twin sister and I were twins or not.  She finally turned around and told them that we were.  First, his friend did most of the talking, but eventually, my husband switched places with his friend and spent the rest of the evening talking just to me.  He even tried to hold my hand!  REALLY!  WHO did that guy think he was!?!?  I didn’t let him hold my hand.  And I wasn’t “playing” hard to get.  I just WAS hard to get!  If any guy came on too strong to me, I BOLTED.  Thankfully, my husband was VERY, VERY patient.

Do you remember walking around the mall or the fair or looking around at church and it seemed like EVERYONE else had a significant other.  Do you remember going home alone, eating alone, going to bed alone, getting up alone?


We are not guaranteed another day in this world.  We are all “terminal.”

Chances are that most of us will be widows and outlive our husbands.  Chances are that we will have 10-30 years after our husbands are gone to live by ourselves and do things our way.  No one will be tracking dirt through the house  – of course I’m not sure who will be mowing the grass then, either!   And there won’t be a husband’s dirty clothes on the floor  or  ESPN Sportscenter on tv every night or toilet seats left up in the bathroom – and just imagine what we wouldn’t give to have those “problems” again.

Imagine if your husband were suddenly gone – today.

What has been left unsaid?  What has been left undone?  It’s time to make it right.


Each day is a priceless gift from God.  I pray we will live lives of LOVE and RESPECT.  I pray we will live without regrets.  I pray we will be faithful to God’s Word for us as wives.

How I pray that we might SAVOR this time we have with our husbands and appreciate the gifts they are to us.

I hope we will be thankful for:

  • eating together
  • sleeping in the same house, hopefully in the same bed, even!
  • raising our precious children together
  • sharing our lives together
  • making memories to cherish together
  • our husbands’ strengths
  • our husbands’ influence
  • our husbands’ wisdom
  • our husbands’ masculinity
  • our husbands’ sense of humor
  • our husbands’ presence in our home

I hope we will purposely:

  • laugh together
  • have FUN
  • relax together
  • touch our husbands with affection
  • be responsive and open to their desire for us
  • make TIME for our husbands
  • put our husbands FIRST on our human priority list – only under God
  • pray for ways we might minister to our husbands and bless them
  • thank God for our husbands
  • not complain or argue
  • be thankful in everything
  • be full of the joy of Christ
  • pray for our husbands
  • spend time in God’s Word
  • be full of God’s Spirit
  • affirm our men with our words
  • show our admiration for what they do that we like
  • cooperate with their God-given leadership – be easy to get along with, be a JOY to live with


I pray that when we stand before His throne – He might say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”  And that we might be so thankful that we lived a life to bring honor and glory to Christ.  We will NEVER regret doing things God’s way!

4 thoughts on “Appreciating Marriage

  1. My husband died at the age of 42, which was almost three years ago. I so wished I still could hear his voice, wash his clothes and cook him meal. What I wouldn’t give to be able to raise our child together and not by myself. I think daily of all the things that I wished I would have said and done. All of the plans that we had made but put off because we thought we had time to do those things. Women cherish every moment that you have with your husbands, love them, care for them, show them and tell them everyday that they are loved beyond words because one day they will be gone and you can’t shout loud enough for them to hear those words. So tell them when they can hear them.

    1. Christine,

      Thank you SO VERY MUCH for sharing your heart with all of us. I am very sorry for your loss. I know you have so much wisdom to share – and you are always welcome to share it here. The rest of us need to hear what you have to say.
      May God heal and comfort you and richly bless your walk with Him! May He give you strength, courage and wisdom to raise your child in the way He desires you to.
      Much love!!!!!

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