As a woman, my mind is always thinking and there are ideas whirling and multiple things I’m remembering to do and concentrate on. But I used to try to carry the burden of figuring out a lot more things than I really need to. I was constantly expending so much mental and emotional energy that I was VERY stressed. I guess that could be called “worrying” – if you wanted to get all technical about it! Of course, it could also be called, “controlling.” 🙂 I couldn’t really see that at the time because I didn’t know any other way to be. If I knew another way to be – I would have definitely chosen the other way!
Now I know that I can rest peacefully in God’s sovereignty and love – and I also rest peacefully in my husband’s love. Those of you who are having very difficult marriage situations may not be able to start out resting in your husband’s love – that will come in time as you build trust. But you can rest in God’s sovereignty and love even now!
Now – I know my husband will handle a lot of the big decisions and plans for our family. He carries the responsibility with such grace and poise. It doesn’t seem to overburden him at all. I just simply tell my husband what I want and what I need in a pleasant, respectful, brief way – and I leave the results up to him and God. I DO tell him my perspective and desires. I don’t expect him to guess or read my mind and I don’t become a voiceless wallflower who gives away my influential power. I use my God-given power of godly influence to bless my husband and share my feminine perspective so that my husband has all of the information he needs to make the best possible decisions.
I used to spend tons of time trying to figure out exactly how to make things happen the way I thought they should. Now, I rest in my husband’s love for me and in God’s love for me. My husband is a super responsible, trustworthy, capable, competent, intelligent man. I know he will make wise decisions and that I don’t have to go behind him trying to be sure he is handling things. I just trust that he will- and he does! I don’t filibuster for my case. I don’t get all in a tizzy about that things must be a certain way. I know now how to trust God and trust my husband to lead me in a way that is even better than I could have planned for myself. And I don’t worry and fret. I just smile, enjoy my life, enjoy my children, am thankful, care for my family and my home, and make sure I am taking care of my own physical/emotional/spiritual needs to the best of my ability so that I can have the most to offer to my husband and family.
I spend plenty of time with God and His Word for perspective and balance and He helps me keep my priorities right. I want to be as close to Him as possible! But now I can really and truly be still before Him. I can trust Him to take me wherever He thinks best – even if it is a route that isn’t something I would have chosen – and I am excited with anticipation to see all the surprises He has in store. I don’t fight against Him. I have learned to trust and WAIT. If I have to stay right here and not move an inch for decades- that’s ok. Wherever God wants me is where I want to be. He is plenty capable of opening and shutting doors and causing things to happen just as He desires them to. I am not trying to run ahead like I used to. And I know that God will lead me through my husband – even though my husband isn’t perfect. I also know that even if and when my husband makes mistakes, God will use those things to take us to the place where He wants us to go, and I don’t have to worry.
It is such a relief and blessing to be able to just smile, praise God, praise my husband, enjoy my life and trust that God and Greg are taking me exactly where i need to go at the right time in the right way and I am just focusing on today and loving my family and being the best wife I can be right now. I love the gift of having my husband lead me and our family and my having the space to be able to breathe and relax, knowing all that weight is on him not on me. His shoulders are a lot more able to bear the weight of the responsibility of our family. God gives my husband wisdom, perspective and insights that He doesn’t give to me. And I love it that way! Now, I have peace and joy. Now, I don’t panic. I just trust, wait and savor. It’s such a wonderful way to live!