How to Have a Relationship with Christ

My understanding of the Gospel of Jesus and my theology matches The Confessional Statement of the Gospel Coalition

And my understanding of God’s design for marriage matches the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood’s Danvers Statement


There are many sins – greed, selfishness, lust, idolatry (putting something before God in our hearts), stealing, gluttony, addictions of every sort, un-forgiveness, envy, taking God’s name in vain, adultery, lying, rage, slander, gossip, refusing to help those in need, apathy, hatred, bitterness, grudges, disobeying God’s Word by doing something against it or by not doing something He asks us to do….  They all separate us far from the one and only holy God of the universe.


Sin is anything that “misses the mark” of God’s holiness – it is an archery term for when the arrow misses the target.  God is a holy God – yes He is Love – but He is also holy – He is pure and undefiled by sin.  He cannot tolerate being in the presence of sin.  And God is perfectly just – He must demand proper payment for wrongs that have been done.  He will not allow injustice.

This is a HUGE problem for all of us!  None of us are able to be good enough to impress God and earn our way to be with Him in heaven. “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags.”  Isaiah 64:6b  Our best behavior on our own is literally like “filthy, bloody menstrual rags” in God’s sight.  He cannot overlook any sin.  He cannot ignore it.  The Bible says:

  •  ”All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”  Romans 3:23
  • “For the wages (paycheck that is earned) of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 6:23
  • “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-  not by works (good deeds), so that no one can boast.”  Ephesians 2:8-9 (God REALLY hates us boasting about how good we are.  Jesus Himself said, only God is good.  We can’t be good enough on our own.  Only perfection will do.  That’s why we need His incredible gift so desperately.  Accepting Jesus’ gift of forgiveness and payment for our millions of dollars worth of sin debt creates gratitude and humility in our hearts – and those qualities are very beautiful in God’s sight.)
  • Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” John 3:3
  • Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6
  • If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10:9-11
  • And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. II Corinthians 5:15
  • Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. Revelation 3:20


When we were unable to do anything about our sinful and wretched condition and still dead spiritually in our sins, Jesus was willing to set aside His glory as God, take on a human body, live as a man, and then take on the unfathomable weight of the sin of the entire world onto His pure, undefiled, holy soul on the cross to pay the penalty that we deserved and that we earned.  He bore the colossal weight of every sin ever committed and overcame death to rescue us – if we will but accept His gift, put our trust and faith in Him, love Him with our whole hearts and live our lives surrendered to Him.  We can’t earn this relationship!  He is willing to take our sin and the death we deserved in exchange for giving us His life, His right relationship with God, His holiness, His power, His heaven…  WOW!

We deserved death.  We deserved condemnation from a Holy God. But God loved us too much to leave us in that awful condition.  He made a way for us to be made right with Him and to be able to have a relationship with Him.


He longs for us to love Him with all that we are – to worship Him as the Lord of our lives – the One Who is in charge.  He longs for us to follow Him, delight in Him, praise Him, thank Him, worship Him and reverence Him every day of our lives.

He desires to love us, lead us, cherish us, make us more and more like Him, to be one spirit with us, to know us intimately, for us to know Him deeply and to prepare us to be His radiant, sinless, spotless bride in heaven (Ephesians 5:27) – where a great wedding feast awaits all who love and trust in Him!

But He will not force us to love Him.  He is a Gentleman – and He gave us a free will so that we can choose to love or reject Him and His gift of life forever with Him as His bride.


I pray that you might be sensitive to God’s Holy Spirit speaking to your heart today.  I pray that you might be willing to confess every known sin in your heart to God today.  I pray that you might ask Him to forgive you by the power of Jesus’ blood.  There is no sin that Jesus’ blood cannot cleanse from our souls.  I pray that you might repent (turn 180 degrees away from sin and toward Jesus) and live for Him from this day on!!  This is how we throw off the weight of sin that entangles us!

I pray that you might say “Yes!” to His invitation to be your Savior and LORD – the One Who deeply knows you, yet loves you anyway – the One from Whom you have no secrets and no room to brag.  I pray that you might say, “Yes!” to the One Who gave up His life and suffered and died in your place – paying for your sins – so that you could live a spiritually abundant life now and live with Him happily ever after in heaven forever!  I pray you might discover what an incredibly gentle, selfless, loving, unfailing, trustworthy, faithful, good, strong, powerful Lord Jesus is and find His narrow path that leads to life.

Jesus is Real Love and He is Real Life.


If you are interested in giving your heart and life to Jesus – you are welcome to leave a comment – or you can read more in your Bible, or speak to a strong Bible-believing Christian or Bible-believing pastor who can tell you more about how to have a living relationship with the King of kings and Lord of lords that will give you life forever in heaven with Him in the future, and a life of spiritual abundance, adventure, forgiveness, peace, joy and freedom from sin here on earth.

This first step is called, “salvation” or being “born again” when God gives us spiritual new life.  But then we continue daily to be spiritually intimate with Jesus and telling Him about any other sin issues we have so that we continually throw off every sin and live to honor Christ.  We live for Him from this point on, seeking to yield our lives to Him, to live in the power of His Spirit, to know Him more deeply, to allow Him to radically change us to be more and more like Him, to walk in obedience to Him (by His power working in us) and to bring Him the greatest glory in all that we do. He is in charge now, not us!


When we throw off the weight of our sin, we are able to be truly beautiful spiritually in the eyes of God and our husbands as God’s Spirit fills us to overflowing!  Then we are able to have the gentle, peaceful spirit that does not give way to fear that is so gorgeous and lights us up with the joy of Jesus!  That is when we soar on wings like eagles and live life to its absolute fullest!



“I Said the Sinner’s Prayer – So I am Going to Heaven. I’m Good with God Now, Right?”

“I Prayed to Receive Christ, But I Was Not a Believer”

John Piper – The Joyful Duty of Man

John Piper  – The Danger: Perishing

44 Comments on “How to Have a Relationship with Christ”

  1. Annie
    May 1, 2013 at 8:30 am #

    Hi April,

    Lovely post..thank you again.

    Luv Annie

    • Shy
      November 1, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

      How do I comment separately? Beautiful post

      • Peacefulwife
        November 2, 2014 at 7:41 am #

        I believe some of my older posts may eventually not accept comments anymore. You can comment separately on posts that are under a year old, I am pretty sure. :)

  2. H M
    November 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm #

    Hi April!
    My husband found your blog for me, and i have been enjoying it. I am a lot like you were, but i am trying to change.
    My question deals with my relationship with My Lord Jesus. I just read this article above, and also watched your video about loving Jesus with all your heart. My heart yearns to have a daily walk with the Lord in that way. I am born again, have been through the steps of this article, but HOW HOW HOW do you maintain this relationship daily?

    I am 32 and a homeschooling mother of 8 children. The oldest is 11, the youngest is 7 months.

    it seems like such a see saw act to get it all done as first a wife, mother, teacher, etc.

    I try to have my quiet time in the mornings too, but it seems the baby so often wakes just at that time to eat, and then my half hour is gone, the other children are up, and the day has begun. The mornings I do manage to sneak it in, I am so tired I keep falling asleep, and I feel guilty for not giving God my best. If I push it any later, then dear hubby doesn’t get any lunch or breakfast before he leaves for work.

    Before the school year started, I would sometimes have my quiet time in the afternoons, but right now I do a lot of school then while the baby, 2 year old, and threes year old are asleep.

    I feel so guilty for not reaching around. I seem to always be short changing someone, and either Jesus, my husband, or the children.

    The mornings I do have my devotions, and I feel like I could feel His Presence, once I step out the bedroom door, the rush is on, and i seem to leave Him back there until I crash into bed that night, and most times I don’t even pray then, as I am with my husband or already asleep.

    Any hints on how to be a busy mother and yet give the Lord the time needed to grow in a relationship?

    I realize this seems as though I am whining about my role. Please don’t misunderstand. I do love my children, and I love being a mommy, I just don;t know how to be a good servant of my Lord, a godly wife, and a good mother all in one day.

    Thanks !

    H. M

    • peacefulwife
      November 4, 2013 at 3:16 pm #

      It is wonderful to meet you!!!!!

      Well… I can understand that your schedule is crazy busy which makes it super hard to have quiet times properly. Thankfully, God “gently leads those who have young” like a gentle and loving shepherd. That verse always comforted me and my twin sister when we had young babies.

      My suggestions are:

      – shoot for 10-15 minutes
      – allow the older kids to watch the younger ones if possible
      – involve the kids and focus on memorizing scripture together
      – stop and get on your knees and pray out loud during the day if you are struggling
      – tell the older kids that this is your time with God and they are not to interrupt
      – listen to praise music whenever possible
      – play David Platt sermons or listen to the Bible being read out loud in the car or during chore time
      – focus on thanksgiving and Phil 4:8
      – memorize Phil. 2:14-16a together with your children.

      You may not have as much time right now in this season of life. But I hope these ideas might help. Your husband may be able to watch the kids right after supper and allow you 15 minutes to go outside or to the car. Ask him for suggestions, too. :)

      Much love to you!

    • jackieh
      September 10, 2014 at 4:42 am #

      Hey, I think you are doing.a super job. I have 2boys only and I get overwhelmed at times! so I can’t imagine you!
      my comment is months late but let me share something I read yesterday just in case you may help you or any other person :)
      1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray at all times.” Even though we are in school where our minds are kept busy, or on a job that requires our full attention, we can live in an attitude of prayer. If an emergency arises we know how to call on God; we take advantage of a pause in our work to lift a note of praise to the Lord. In this way we are continually worshipping Him.

  3. Jaref
    March 11, 2014 at 11:40 am #

    Hi, April, How are you? I have a question I hope you can help me answer. I realize now that I have been making my husband an idol – making him my top priority. I also realize, though, that I have been selfish and controlling and manipulative, etc etc… I realize now that this needs to change. I am praying about this and searching for answers… I want to be a Godly wife and submit to my husband. How do I do this without – again – making my husband the idol?

    I think I read somewhere on your blog that when we submit to our husbands we are submitting to God. Could it be that my first step to making God come first in my life be to submit to my husband?

    I guess my worry is that if I am searching and learning how to be a Godly wife, am I still making my marriage and my husband an idol? For instance, last night I was going to buy “The Surrendered Wife”, but then I was concerned that I am focusing on my husband and marriage, not God. But I suppose it is honoring to God for me to be a Godly wife – and I know there are many areas of my life that I have to change. Can this be a step in that direction?

    Thanks for your help.

    • peacefulwife
      March 12, 2014 at 8:16 am #


      That is a very important realization!!!!! PRAISE GOD He has shown this to you!

      It is absolutely possible to seek to be a godly wife with the motive of making marriage or husband an idol. Respect can be an idol. Submission can be an idol. Being “perfect” can be an idol! Yep. We can make anything into idols! We must allow God to show us our motives constantly and refine us.

      You will have to continually ask God to help you purify your motives so that you are doing the right thing for the right reason. If we do the right thing for the wrong reason, that is sin. All of us have very impure motives until God transforms our hearts and renews our minds. It is a process.

      I have MANY posts on these issues.

      You can search:

      – idol
      – idolatry
      – contentment
      – lordship of Christ
      – Christ Lord
      – stages of this journey

      And the posts at the top of my home page about spiritual authority, a husband’s and a wife’s authority, biblical submission and respect and disrespect. They may help. :)

      Much love!

  4. Oluchi
    September 1, 2014 at 3:44 am #

    I want to live and give my all to Christ!
    I want to trust and submit to my husband
    I want peace! all round peace

  5. angela
    January 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm #

    I am so lost in my life and relationship right now. I feel so alone and could really use a strong, intelligent, Godly woman (such as yourself) as a mentor. All of your posts are so powerful but I feel it might be too late. I feel so defeated.

    • Peacefulwife
      January 27, 2015 at 10:29 pm #


      If you are still on this side of the grave, it is not too late! What is going on? Let’s hash through this together. Let’s walk this road together. You are not beyond the reach of Jesus, my precious girl!

  6. Sekiera
    October 7, 2015 at 12:26 pm #

    It’s very hard to keep God first when getting wrapped up in worldly matters! I didn’t know this until recently my husband came to me this morning asking for a separation, but God was not first in my life…. my husband was! And that needs to change now. God needs to be my first love and I shall surrender to Him. As I go through this journey of building my trust and love for God I pray that I’m refined into the vision that God has of me.

    I’ve been such a selfish, jealous, bitter person that it has morphed me into someone that I despise. All of that changes today… I want to change and I know God will open my heart and mind. I pray for reconciliation, but if that is not God’s will I shall remember that I have his love. God has a plan for us and knows what we’re going through. This is not an ending but a new beginning…. me creating a loving relationship with God.

    • Peacefulwife
      October 7, 2015 at 6:39 pm #


      I am so sorry for the painful experience you are going through – BUT – how I praise God that He is using it to bring you to Himself and to transform you into the woman He longs for you to be. When I see a wife with an attitude like this – I know God is about to do AMAZING things in her life! WOOHOO!!!!!!!

      Sending you the biggest hug! I’m glad to walk this road with you. :)


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