I did an EXTENSIVE study on Rom 7 (why is it I do the things I do not want to do?). John Gill talks about a civil war going on inside of us.
How true this is!!!! The flesh does NOT want to be humble. It does not want to submit to my husband. I was reading in the Amp version of 1Peter 3 that wives should DEPEND ON their husbands.
Okay, icky secret: I don’t want to depend on my hubby. I actually hate it???
I catch myself getting impatient with my husband
- cuz he walks too slow
- he wants to hug me and I push him away.
- He rubs my belly (when I’m sitting and the fat is spilling over), so I get mad cuz I’m so vain.
Why he doesn’t give up on me is a miracle!!!
Just a little while ago I got upset cuz he spilled some purified water. I’m feeling really dizzy, I don’t know why, so I think I’m a lil scared. I’m like this crazed person that HATES waste.
At Wed. nite study we did 1Peter 3, to the wives and then we got to the part about the husbands. I tried to not listen too closely or I knew my flesh would want to use it as a “see, what you’re supposed to do” thing. But then our pastor said that husbands should not get embittered to their wives. This happens cuz some husbands never say no. Then it turns out bad and he has to take the responsibility, so he gets bitter with her.
My pastor said that a godly husband needs to know when to say, “No.”
I struggle when he says no, and sometimes I’m right but I’m learning to let it go.
My flesh NEVER wants to trust God in the things I can’t fix. The things that seem so wrong. Yet He has given me patience and worked things out. I really need to trust Him more.
When I want validation – it is a signal to me now that I need to look to Christ alone for approval and for worth. I am doing this for GOD – not for my husband, not to have control.