I only generally talk about what God asks wives to do because I only teach women.
But I do want women to have a solid understanding of God’s design for husbands in marriage, as well.
A godly husband does not abuse his wife or become violent against her. He is not a tyrant. He does not demand respect and submission.
He loves with a Christlike love, he is tender, he is gentle, he is forgiving and generous. He is selfless and he is completely submitted to Christ.
The ways that God desires a husband to treat his wife are found in these passages:
I Corinthians 13:4-8
I Peter 3:7
I Corinthians 11:3
I pray that every wife might be able to feel safe with her husband. If there is abuse, drug/alcohol addictions, uncontrolled mental disorders, infidelity in your marriage – please find godly, experienced help ASAP! These things go way beyond the scope of my blog.
My husband was not doing all of the things I talk about on the video when I first began to learn about submission and respect. But even when I was disrespectful, before God opened my eyes to my sin, my husband didn’t call me names, yell, threaten me or ever physically hurt me. He also never demanded that I respect him or tried to force me to submit. He never talked with me about any of this. God opened my eyes and I wanted to learn to respect and biblically submit because God commanded me to do it.
The Bible never commands husbands to make their wives respect them and submit to them. And the Bible never commands wives to make their husbands lead and force them to love them. Each person is responsible to obey God for his/her own behavior, words and actions. I believe that as wives step down from leadership and control, husbands will step up eventually (unless there are major problems). It will involve a lot of waiting, patience and prayer on the part of the wife. But as she stops the negative and disrespectful things and begins to show real respect and honor for her husband’s leadership – I believe most husbands will begin to lead. I pray we as wives might be cheerful followers, trusting primarily in Christ to lead us through our husbands and submitting to Christ first in all things.