Why I Fell For My Husband

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What made Greg so special to me that I stayed with him and never dated anyone else?

There were so many things I admired about him:

  • My Daddy approved of him and liked him.  That was THE most important thing to me!  I had always been my Daddy’s girl.
  • He was a good student and made great grades in his honors classes – so I felt like we were fairly evenly matched intellectually.  But he wasn’t prideful about it at all.  That was refreshing!.
  • He made me laugh a lot.
  • He was a gentleman.  He got a job so he could pay for gas money to see me and take me out and take me to restaurants and Christian concerts.
  • He was so generous to my family.  At Christmastime, he would come with a huge black garbage bag – as if he were Santa or something – and he always had wonderful, thoughtful gifts for everyone in my family, including my grandmothers.
  • I felt so connected to him.  We talked for an hour every night – on a phone with a cord!  Cordless phones were yet to be invented.  There was no caller ID.  There was no internet.  There were no cell phones.  Yes, I am that old!   He would tell me about his day for about 25 minutes, then I would talk about my day for 5.  Then was my FAVORITE time – I got to ask him deep questions about spiritual and philosophical things and about our relationship.  That was the best part of my whole day!
  • Greg was very mature for his age – he really stood out compared to the other guys I knew.  He didn’t do silly, ridiculous things to get attention.
  • He didn’t flirt with other girls, I always knew I had his whole heart.
  • He knew what he wanted – and he knew how to get it.  He had a quiet, wise strategy about him.
  • He treated me like I was the most precious and valuable girl in the world.
  • We were both in high school when we met – I was in 10th grade and he was in 11th.  But I had total confidence in his ability to tackle challenges and do well in life.
  • He didn’t rush me or push me to go farther than I wanted to.  He didn’t rush my emotions.
  • He respected my body, virginity and chastity.
  • He loved God and had a relationship with Christ.
  • He made going to church a huge priority and we had very similar theological views.
  • He had a quiet confidence about him – not arrogance at all – but a very attractive confidence in himself as a man.
  • He protected my twin sister and me when there were guys who troubled us and wouldn’t leave us alone.
  • He got along really well with everyone in my family.
  • He played with my little brother a lot.
  • His older brother had met his future wife when he was in 10th grade – and Greg was already looking for wife material and a long term commitment, not just a girlfriend.
  • He was EXTREMELY stable emotionally and spiritually.
  • Greg almost never lost his temper.  He had a great deal of patience and self-control.
  • Greg didn’t yell.  He was not an angry guy. BIG points there!
  • He got along well with adults and with everyone.
  • His parents were Christians, his Dad was a pastor and they had a solid marriage.
  • Greg enjoyed life and lived in the moment.  He knew how to relax and savor life.  I really admired that and was intrigued by the way he lived his life.
  • He was trusting and never acted jealous of the friends I had at my school.  We went to different high schools.  He did wonder why so many of my friends were guys.  I just thought guys were easier to talk to than girls.  But he knew that I was completely trustworthy and he didn’t question me or try to control me at all.
  • When we saw someone that needed help – Greg didn’t think twice, he would stop and help them.  That impressed me a lot.
  • He was a very responsible driver and he was responsible with money.
  • He was extremely athletic – he had played high school football until the year I met him.  He was strong and muscular, but I always knew I was safe with him.  He NEVER raised a hand to me or yelled at me or abused me in any way.  He was a complete gentleman and I could trust him.
  • He took such good care of me when I was sick.  He would get me anything I needed.  Even when I had mono in 11th grade and none of my other friends would come to my house – he would call me at lunch every day to check on me and come visit me on the weekends and cuddle with me.  He was very thoughtful and would get tissues or soup or whatever I wanted when I was sick.
  • He was so understanding of my hormones.  I can remember getting on him one time about our relationship and how it wasn’t going the way it should and there were so many problems… He calmly said, “Your period is going to start tomorrow.”  I got so angry!  ”That has NOTHING to do with this!”  And I continued on about what I thought needed to be changed ASAP in our relationship.  Then the next day, my period started, and my emotions were fine.  Hmmm.  Maybe he was right!
  • He never wavered.  He was devoted to me from day one.  He never gave me any reason not to trust him. He was loyal and faithful and committed to me.
  • He asked my Daddy’s permission before he asked me to marry him – I didn’t know that until later, of course.  But that impressed me greatly!

WHY I BROKE UP WITH HIM ONCE

We met when I was 15 and Greg was 16.  We were together from that point on.  I never had another boyfriend.  I think he had kissed 2 other girls earlier.  But he was my first and only boyfriend.

The summer before I started college – I started having some doubts.  I had never been with anyone else.  I never really actually chose Greg.  I just realized months into our relationship that we were exclusive and committed.  I started thinking about how much he loved to watch tv all the time and how much he loved football and how I didn’t like those things at all.  I wondered if I could live with that the rest of my life (it is definitely good to be able to accept a guy the way he is!).  I wondered if he was as strong in his faith in Christ as I was.  He didn’t talk about his faith as much as I did.  He wasn’t as verbal about God.  I wondered why he didn’t pray with me that much.  (Now I know that our personalities were different and that we had masculine and feminine differences – and it wasn’t a deal breaker that he didn’t talk as much about God or want to pray out loud.)

And then I asked some guys in my youth group for advice.  Some of them wanted to go out with me, I guess.  I didn’t see it then!  I also asked this guy I had been pen pals with since 7th grade for advice.  He always said he was like my “big brother.”  But he wanted to date me.  So all these guys told me to dump Greg.  And I decided they were right and came home and broke up with him.

It was AWFUL!  We both cried.  It was the only time I had ever seen him cry up to that point.   He left.  Then the next day he called me and asked why exactly we had broken up.  I wrote out a 3 page single spaced  list of all the reasons why I was breaking up with him and read them all to him.  He said, “that’s true, that’s true, that’s true…”  as I read each item on the list.

One of my concerns was that I tended to just go along with what he thought without making decisions on my own.  So when we saw each other a few weeks after we broke up – and I realized that I REALLY did love him and wanted to be with him – he made sure I made decisions on my own about whether I wanted him to be with me or not.  Looks like I figured out how to get my own way and make my own decisions a little TOO well – based on the first 15 years of our marriage!  Yikes!

That was a painful 3 weeks.  But I think it helped us redefine our relationship and helped us grow and mature.  I hadn’t given him any hope that we would get back together.  But we did.  I was able to purposely choose him and we rebuilt our relationship in a much stronger way. Things were actually better than ever after that.  He treated me even better than before and he grew spiritually and he started writing the sweetest love letters and poems to me.

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR GREG!

I couldn’t ask for a better man.  I wish I hadn’t messed things up so much after we got married.  We were totally unprepared for marriage, conflict and many of the very difficult challenges we faced the first summer we were married.  If only I knew then what I know now about men and marriage and being a godly wife!!!  But I am extremely thankful for God’s gift to me in Greg.  I’m beyond grateful to be his wife – and I can never thank God enough for giving me all this time to make things up to Greg and to treat him with the respect and cooperation he deserves.  I count myself to be the most blessed woman on the planet.

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15 Comments on “Why I Fell For My Husband”

  1. diana
    December 31, 2012 at 9:26 am #

    This is a wonderful! I have two teen daughters. The oldest is away at college and already has a wonderful boyfriend whom I hope she marries. The other is 15; she has never dated and is homeschooled. I pray for her future husband. It is funny that I already am on the look out for husband material for her! haha. She used to be sad and ask why no boys ever asked her out (this was when she was a freshman at public highschool). All her friends were dating. I told her that the Lord was guarding her heart and protecting her. She didn’t like hearing that at the time! I met my husband when I was 15 too.

    • peacefulwife
      December 31, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

      I started praying for my children’s future spouses before they were even conceived! Never too early to pray for that! I agree, God was protecting her. 15 is REALLY young! But in a lot of ways, I think God used Greg to protect me from some dangerous situations. Praying for God to provide a godly husband for her and for her to have a godly example of marriage and being a respectful, cooperative wife in your marriage!

  2. Sir
    December 31, 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    I would like to hear your husband’s perspective of this process!

    • peacefulwife
      December 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm #

      Sir,
      I will ask my husband if he’d like to write about it. :)

      You can see his perspective about when God changed me as a wife 4 years ago at the top of my blog “When She Surrendered” and you can also find a lot of his perspective on his blog at http://www.respectedhusband.wordpress.com

      Thanks!

  3. Vance
    January 1, 2013 at 12:14 am #

    I just recently found this blog, Its seems very Biblical with the advice and comments.

    I am a husband and father, I was wondering if I may post my wife and my disagreement regarding a topic about
    our daughter’s marriage, and if anyone might help.
    Our problem is very controversial, I’ve been called a legalist, controlling, evil, wicked and bitter (by my wife and past pastores) I love Jesus with all my heart and am so thankful for what He did for me. And don’t know why I’m in this situation.

    We have been to pastors, counselors and have gotten
    advice from many people, but my wife and I are
    worlds a part, and this has torn our once loving, homeschooled family (5 children) into division where my wife has turned the children against their father.
    My wife has held steadfast to not respecting my decision,

    In hindsight I think it would have been better, if we not had children, but God is in control, so I am still trusting in him.

    If a may get the go ahead I will post our situation and if anyone had Biblical advice to give either myself or my wife, we very much need it.

    We have gotten counsel from our pastor, and Biblically
    he agrees with my stance, my wife however has decided to ignore his counsel.

    Sincerely yours,

    Vance

    • peacefulwife
      January 1, 2013 at 9:00 am #

      Vance,

      I am so sorry to hear about what a difficult time you are having. It is extremely difficult for a husband to lead when a wife won’t cooperate.

      If your wife would want to email me, I would be glad to talk with her and point her to Scripture and to respecting you and honoring your God-given leadership in the marriage.

      I don’t believe that Scripture gives me authority as a woman to counsel men, but there are two men I can refer you to who would be able to give you godly advice.

      One is a man who follows my blog and gives pastoral counseling, Ronfurg is his blog name. He has offered to work with men who come to my blog looking for help. I can get you his email if you would like.

      The other is Brent Riggs. He has several blogs and is a Christian preacher, teacher, author and blogger and you may write to him. His blog is http://www.brentriggs.com

      I do counsel women and it is my desire to point them to Christ and obedience to His Word. If your wife is willing to email me, she may do so at thepeacefulwife@gmail.com.

      Lord, I pray that You might give Vance and his wife wisdom as they face a very difficult challenge right now. I pray that You might help him to love his wife and children as Jesus loves the church and gave Himself up for it. I pray that You might empower him to represent Christ to his family and to act completely consistently with the character of Jesus, even when his wife sins against him and is disrespectful and refuses to cooperate with his decisions. I pray for healing and reconciliation and for Your greatest glory in this marriage and this situation! In the Name and power of Christ, Amen!

      Sent from my iPad

    • peacefulwife
      January 2, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

      Vance,
      Or if you would prefer, you may post your issue here and I can ask Ronfurg to address it here.

      Thanks!

    • peacefulwife
      January 2, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

      This is my understanding of biblical submission
      http://youtu.be/qCwK7_W22bk

      I believe wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord” – meaning, if the husband asks his wife to sin or disobey Scripture- the wife must resist that directive.

      But if the husband is not asking his wife to sin or defy God’s Word, she is to cooperate with her husband’s leadership.

  4. Angelique
    January 1, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

    Love this!! Such a beautiful story!!! Such s beautiful couple!!

  5. redpilloutlaw
    January 6, 2013 at 3:31 am #

    God bless you and your husband. God bless you. Thank you for sharing your list. It was very touching… :)))

    • peacefulwife
      January 6, 2013 at 7:24 am #

      You’re welcome! Thanks for the comment!

      • redpilloutlaw
        January 6, 2013 at 8:02 am #

        You got it! :)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Happy 19th Anniversary, Greg! | Peacefulwife's Blog - May 28, 2013

    […] Why I Fell for My Husband […]

  2. Happy 19th Anniversary, Greg! | Peaceful Single Girl - May 28, 2013

    […] Why I Fell for My Husband […]

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