Why I Wear Skirts Daily – Part 2



 

One of my favorite skirts – from Soft Surroundings (very sturdy fabric, perfect for colder weather,  and I LOVE the embroidery!)

This is part two in my series about why I personally choose to wear skirts every day.  For part one, please read here.

RESPECT

Modest clothing signals to men that I respect myself as a woman, that I respect my body, that I respect my sexuality, that I respect the way men are visually wired and that I respect God – or, that it is at least possible that I respect those things!

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.  I Timothy 2:9

Men treat women very differently depending on their clothing.  I have noticed that many more men open doors for me since I have changed my wardrobe.  And I always make sure to smile graciously and thank them.  When men treat us with special care because we are ladies, we need to show some beautiful gratitude!

OK – some ladies need to skip to the next subtitle here, please!  You know who you are, precious sisters! :)

Immodest clothing broadcasts the message to men that I do NOT respect God, my body, my sexuality, or men – that I plan to use my body to try to have power over them, or that I am sexually available to them.  Yes, you read that right.  A man’s brain is wired so that the clothing a woman wears tells him a great deal about how sexually available that woman is to him regardless of his intentions and regardless of her intentions.  That is why prostitutes dress to advertise their bodies.  IT WORKS!

I know that sometimes we are not intentionally immodest, but when we bend over or kneel down to take care of our children, things can be seen that ought not to be seen.  And here’s the deal.  Whether it is intentional or not, immodesty causes problems for many men.  That is why I think it is important to choose clothing that won’t have “wardrobe malfunctions.”  We will have to bend over or lean over or kneel down sometimes, so we need to be sure that we are being modest even then.

Immodesty can actually trigger some men to look at women as objects to be used.  There was a study at Princeton in 2008 that did brain scans of about 20 young men while they looked at pictures of modestly dressed women vs women in bikinis. And some men, not all, but for some – the area of the brain that would be active when looking at the pictures of women in bikinis was the part of the brain that is for “tools” – things to be used, objects. For these particular men, the frontal lobe of the brain did not immediately activate with the bikini-clad women – the part of the brain that acknowledges that the image is a person with thoughts and feelings. Now, this initial brain reaction IS overridable by men. A guy can stop his thought processes and consciously recognize that he is looking at a human being with thoughts and feelings.  But I don’t see the point in purposely making things more tempting and difficult for the men around us – especially if we belong to Christ! Men in our culture are bombarded with sensual images and immodestly dressed women all the time. We can be an oasis of relief for them. AND when we dress modestly, we draw attention to our faces, our thoughts and feelings and our love for Christ instead of drawing attention to our bodies.

Whatever we use to attract men is what will keep them with us.

Godly men want women they can respect. They want women who dress so that other men aren’t ogling them.  Our clothing is a billboard to the world that communicates a great deal about our level of respect for so many important areas of our lives! Our clothing, demeanor, behavior, attitudes and words are a reflection on our husbands – so we do need to look our best, feminine, attractive and beautiful – but not seductive in public.  And our clothing, our behavior, our words and our attitudes are also a reflection on Christ. I pray we might choose our clothing wisely and find things that honor God and our husbands!

ROMANCE

My little girl started watching PRINCESS movies around the same time I was studying about godly femininity.  And it hit me – if Cinderella, Rapunzel  or  Aurora was wearing jeans and a t-shirt – it just wouldn’t be the same!  Clothes obviously don’t make the person.  The person is much more important than the clothing.  But clothes do project a lot about our identity and priorities and about how feminine we are – to ourselves, to our husbands and to others.  We have to wear SOMETHING!  So – maybe it could be fun to wear beautiful things!

PRACTICAL STUFF

I really love choosing colorful, beautiful skirts to wear every day and it hasn’t been that big of a deal to me for the past 3.5 years not to wear pants/jeans anymore. Some women are afraid to suddenly change their wardrobe – they think people will ask a lot of questions.  I guess it helped that I made my sudden change the week I started a new job.  At my old job, we had to wear khaki pants and a red shirt EVERY DAY – so after 3 years of that, I was more than ready to try some feminine, colorful skirts for a change!

A few women have asked me about why I wear skirts all the time. Sometimes I just give a short answer, “I love skirts.” If they really seem interested, I may go into some of the reasons behind my choices. I have NEVER had a man ask me why I always wear skirts. I thought that was pretty interesting. Most of the time, people just say, “Oh! I LOVE your skirt!”

I wear sandals or flip flops in the summer and boots in the winter. I always wear a slip if the skirt is not completely opaque. I kept my jeans and khaki pants for about a year – and then realized, I don’t need them! I do wear yoga pants when I run. But other than that, and some pajama pants sometimes at home, I only wear skirts. I did ask my husband’s permission when I wanted to change my wardrobe and he was ok with it. For the most part, I only wear long skirts. There are a few dresses/skirts that come to my knees that I wear for my husband on special occasions.

There are actually some VERY practical aspects to wearing skirts I had never considered. When I wore jeans, it was a daily battle trying to figure out which pair fit on any given day – or even at different times during the same day – ladies, I know you know what I am talking about here! I love skirts because they are much more forgiving and if you gain or lose a few pounds or have some tummy issues, it doesn’t really matter much. LOVE THAT! And no riding up like with jeans and pants. Love that, too! And, in the summer, you get a lot more ventilation which is important in the south! I used to wear jeans all summer, that was REALLY HOT! I also love that in the winter you can hide all kinds of things under long skirts like leggings, long johns or yoga pants, and if your legs aren’t perfect, it doesn’t matter! No one has to see the spider veins or imperfections.  If you do wear long skirts – just be careful going up stairs!  You’ll have to hold your skirt up a bit so you don’t trip. :)

It can be difficult to find long skirts without slits. I had the best success online. A few places I have gotten some of my favorite skirts are Soft Surroundings (but they are a bit pricey – ranging from $75-$120), and several sites for muslim women. Their skirts are always ankle length, lined and no slits and have some beautiful embroidery work.  There are also Christian modest clothing sites (www.hannahlise.com), and Jewish and Mormon ones. I often googled “modest long skirts.” And I have also had great results looking at Good Will!

Here are some sites to try.  Some are not afiliated with any religious group, some are Christian, others are Muslim, Jewish or LDS.  I am not promoting the theology of the non-Christian sites – but just letting you know where you can find some modest clothes if you are interested.

http://www.hayaaclothing.com – big selection of long skirts with no slits for under $30!

http://www.downeastbasics.com – a good selection of knee length and long skirts under $30! Also, this site has some slip “skirt extenders” that you can wear under shorter skirts to make them come below the knees. Very cute. Their tops tend to be a bit longer than many are today, which helps to keep things modest even when you bend over. They have dresses that go to below the knees and run $36-$45 for many choices.

http://www.sweetsaltclothing.com

http://www.koshercasual.com/

http://www.hannahlise.com/ – a Christian site with long skirts and dresses without slits for women and girls.

http://www.softsurroundings.com/

http://www.jenclothing.com –  very attractive modest dresses that come below the knee and have decent necklines. The swimwear is more modest than some styles today, but there are other sites with much more modest swimwear.

http://www.funkyfrum.com/

diviinemodestee.com/

http://www.shukronline.com/home.html

http://www.apostolicclothing.com – stylish, modern modest clothing and some vintage styles

http://www.newcreationapparel.com/

http://www.eastessence.com/catalog/SKIRT-11-1.html

http://www.livingmodest.com/subcategory_details.asp?ID_subcategory=9   (this is a list of different companies with modest clothing)

http://www.enwrapturevintage.com/36inchsilkwrapkskirt.html  (wrap skirts made of vintage clothing. I LOVE these!)

For tops, I usually wear a crew neck t-shirt style solid color top. Button down shirts often gape on me and  are sometimes tight around my belly so they just don’t work well for my shape. But I am sure they would work just fine on many figures.  Some shell types of blouses with crew neck or jewel necklines work for me, but sometimes they are too sheer. Every woman will have to decide what she likes, what feels beautiful for her sense of style, what fits her budget, what her husband likes and what is modest for her particular figure.

The definition of  modesty can vary widely depending on the culture, country and religious view various people have. My main goal is to try to cover my bases so that most men will hopefully not have an issue with temptation when they look at me.  To some degree, each individual man who is looking at us has his own threshold of temptation.  But since I really can’t interview them all and make sure I’m not causing them to stumble, I am going to do my best to be respectful and modest and then leave the rest up to them and God.

My favorite definition of modesty is “humility in clothing.”

I think it can get dangerous to have strict rules about specific inches and lengths – we can easily become very legalistic about this issue. I don’t think that glorifies God, either.  Legalism makes it all about us trying to earn God’s favor – and we can never do that!  It’s just not possible.  That’s why He gives us His grace.   That is a big problem with most of the facets of Christianity – they are about heart issues and wanting to serve and please God – they often can’t really be legislated with a bunch of rules.  Modesty is NOT about demanding that other women must wear certain things.  Modesty is a gift I give to the men around me and to God out of my reverence and love for Christ.

AM I SAYING ALL WOMEN MUST ALWAYS WEAR SKIRTS OR DRESSES?

Nope!

This was a decision I came to because I believe it brings honor to God, my body and my femininity. I think there are modest, flowing pants that may not present much temptation to men – but the tighter the clothing, the bigger the temptation, and the less fabric, the bigger the temptation.  Pants tend to be an issue for many men because – honestly – the eye is drawn to the hips and crotch area with pants.  Each woman will have to hammer out the specifics for her wardrobe and style with God and her husband. I don’t judge what other women choose to wear. I just enjoy the freedom and blessings of my choices and savor my femininity every day!

I believe that we as women have to ask ourselves some tough questions

  • WHY do I want to wear this outfit?
  • Whose attention am I seeking? God’s or men?
  • What is my purpose in dressing this way?
  • How can I best glorify God and draw attention to Him with my clothing choices?
  • Is it possible that my clothing could cause my brothers in Christ to stumble?  And if so – how can I act in love to not put a stumbling block in their way?

Lord,

I pray that You might work in our hearts. We live in such an immodest, ungodly culture. We have largely adapted to the ways of the world. Open our eyes to the lives You desire us to live and help us to obey You even when it is hard, even when it is inconvenient, even when it is unpopular or weird. Let us look and act different from the world to bring great glory to You alone!

In the Name and power of Christ,

Amen!

The pink/brown one is from Taqwa Imam, the blue one is from Good Will!  The dark green patterned skirt is from Soft Surroundings.  The light blue and brown one is from Taqwa Imam, the purple one in the top left is from Israel!

this is a wrap skirt from enwrapturevintage (they are reversible and can be worn many different ways)

this is one of my favorites – from Newport News – very light and flowing viscose fabric

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178 Comments on “Why I Wear Skirts Daily – Part 2”

  1. freshvision
    August 22, 2012 at 9:22 am #

    You are an inspiration, April. : ) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on women’s clothing and for showing us your pretty skirts. You are a breath of fresh air in a sadly immodest world.

    • Niki S.
      September 3, 2013 at 11:18 am #

      I just started reading your blog and I am really enjoying it.

      Any advice for a women who feels easily exposed in a dress or skirt? I haven’t worn a dress or skirt in years because I feel exposed or easily accessible to a would be attacker, and that I would not be able to defend my self easily if I couldn’t kick them. I have a “worry too much” condition so these are the things that cross my mind. I would love to wear dresses, and my husband would love for me to wear them. I just feel an emotional dread to even try one on. But I did buy a new skirt at the local thrift store because it was super cute and I wanted to be able to wear it but it didn’t fit. I don’t think I would have wore it out of the house though. I can’t even wear them to church. Plus I don’t even know what shoes to wear with a skirt because I have nerve damage in my ankle from a car accident so I can never wear shoes with any height to them, they all have to be flat. In the summer I can wear sandals but the winter means all tennis shoes or boots. But any ways… any advice for someone like me that would encourage me to step out of my comfort zone. I feel I am modest in my jeans as I wear baggy shirts to cover my bum area, and I don’t wear tank tops out in public. My girls are not aloud to wear those out of the house either, but we do wear them around the house and yard. I can’t believe how short the shorts are now a days. We have gone to cutting jeans off to make shorts that are closer to the knee’s.

      • peacefulwife
        September 3, 2013 at 11:30 am #

        Niki S,

        It is great to meet you! :)

        Well – longer skirts that are more like “circle skirts” and skirts that are not tight but have lots of flowing fabric would allow you to kick a man if you needed to. Kind of hope that won’t be necessary!
        You could also carry a can of pepper spray or something as well.

        This is a situation where I trust that if God allows someone to attack me – He will give me the wisdom and resources to know what to do at the time and He will be with me.

        What does your husband say about your fear?

        In colder weather – you can wear leggings or yoga pants under the skirt. So you won’t be so easily accessible – no more so than if you were wearing pants or jeans.

        I can’t wear heels either. I wear sandals in the summer and flat boots in the winger. I also sometimes wear Dansko shoes (especially if I am working in the pharmacy all day standing on concrete for 9+ hours). They give excellent support for your feet and are great for lots of standing or walking.

        I hope you can find some peace about your fear of being attacked. I think that is much more the issue to focus on than the skirt thing myself.
        Much love to you! :)

      • Niki
        September 3, 2013 at 11:58 am #

        Thanks April! I think I sound like a crazy person in my post. lol! Well as for my husbands thoughts on it, I have a medical condition that messes with my hormones so he thinks its related. For me I have noticed over the past several years that I have developed this unhealthy fear factor. I am not sure its age, I will soon be 40, or if it is the hormones, or stems from something that happened to me as a child, or that I am just more aware of the evil in the world today. I know I don’t want to live fearful and I should really go to God about it, which to be honest, I haven’t prayed for my self for things in a long time. I am always praying for others. Except for one thing, protection for my family which includes me.
        So yes, its probably nothing to do with the skirt/dress issue. I use to wear long summer dresses when I was younger because they were so comfortable and non-constricting. My daughter and I both have sensory integration so we don’t like tight clothes any ways, which can be a blessing in disguise, but also a hindrance on some things.
        I don’t know why I didn’t think to wear something under a dress which is what my daughter did when she attended a private christian school that required dresses then uniforms.

        Thanks for your encouragement! I am going to talk to my husband more about this so we can pray about it together.

        • peacefulwife
          September 3, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

          Niki,

          I definitely understand fear about being attacked and a desire to be able to try to protect yourself. I am a woman, too – 40 years old! :) And I have personally been stalked before (at Wal-Mart or at stores – not at home yet, thankfully!).

          I try not to watch the news too much, because I don’t need more ammunition for concerns like that. :)

          The fear is one that definitely needs to be addressed. Prayer has many critical components that are all necessary! Praise, thanksgiving, confession, repentance, prayer for self, prayer for others. I would encourage you to spend plenty of time in God’s Word and prayer and to lay all your concerns before Jesus in prayer. Philippians 4:4-8 would be a great verse to apply to this situation.

          If your husband believes you may need some kind of protection from attack, he may decide to help you find some kind of self defense weapon or allow you to take a self defense class. And, of course, he may be willing to pray with you for God’s protection and for His peace. :)

          Much love to you my precious sister! :)

      • Jamie King
        April 19, 2014 at 8:57 am #

        Niki S. I completely understand what you are saying. I have found that wearing Lycra/bike shorts under my skirt and slips that I feel much more covered and not so “exposed”. Hope that helps!

  2. Christine
    August 22, 2012 at 9:37 am #

    Hi April, great post as usual. My husband actually prefers me in jeans, but I love skirts and dresses. Time will tell, i guess.

    • Gloria Joy
      June 5, 2013 at 2:28 pm #

      There is a Pastor named Charles Burke, who further discussed scriptural reasons for Biblical dress code and true modesty for Godly women. He wrote an article about it here

      http://www.kjv1611.org.uk/Do%20Godly%20women%20wear%20trousers.htm

      At first, I was surprised by the intro to the article, but continued reading on, and was quite refreshed by the scriptural foundation he ends up giving with clarity and wisdom. Many people disagree with the scripture point of view on modest dress code (making it either way too free or way too legalistic) I am curious what others think of the topic of dress in the way that Burke discusses and lays out in scripture.

      • Jessica C.
        May 1, 2014 at 10:26 am #

        Gloria – this is one of the greatest articles written on this subject…Charles Burke lays it out quite nicely. (It has been in my archives for some time.) :)
        I do say I love the way “peaceful wife” has written these articles..I do not sense legalism in her sharing her convictions. Coming from an extreme movement of skirts only…our family can no longer follow their legalistic standards. We still however hold to modesty strongly! My husband believes if we ladies in our home are wearing pants, capris, etc…the rear needs to be covered. :) I agree with him also. The key is modesty! Also being aware of what can cause men to stumble will help us women to choose more wisely what we wear. God bless you all as we seek to please Jesus.

  3. Eden
    August 22, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    I really loved this post. I wore a skirt yesterday with a T-shirt and I did FEEL more feminine, that’s for sure, but I also felt like I was honoring my husband by NOT showing everything off. I live in a military town, and there are a LOT of single marines who don’t necessarily possess the ideal of Semper Fidelis that the corps promotes… However, I do. My husband and I have a clear understanding of what is and is not acceptable to do/wear in public and people often challenge my opinion, especially concerning modesty and breast feeding… I’m not yet a mother myself, but my views on modesty will extend to ALL areas of my life, including motherhood. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I appreciate the encouragement that comes from reading about someone who is like-minded and who values the concept of covering up out of respect to husband, as well as to avoid being a stumbling block for others. I don’t have a completely re-vamped wardrobe, but I am making changes. Thank you for your encouragement.

    • peacefulwife
      August 22, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

      Eden,
      Thanks for sharing your story! It’s kind of neat to embrace the idea of being feminine – or, it was for me! I am glad that modesty is on your list of priorities. I appreciate your insights and sharing your feelings about your experience yesterday! It’s great to meet you!

  4. Peacefulwife
    August 22, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    Christine,
    I appreciate your comment! That is a good point. If your husband HATES skirts, it could be disrespectful to wear them! That is something you can pray about and ask God to give you wisdom. Your hubby may change his mind over time. But your respectful attitude is more important than wearing skirts all the time. Praying for Gid’s blessings on your marriage!

    • Kristin
      August 22, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

      Thank you so very much for sharing your views on dressing modestly. My husband and I, have had a lot of disagreements based on what he would think was too revealing. I can say that my intentions were never to draw attention to myself…the thought of it disgusts me. But, after reading your blogs on dressing modestly, and reading how it has changed your life…I am going to give the dress thing a shot. I have always loved to wear dresses, but am a country girl and have always worn jeans etc. I am going to pray about this, and talk to my husband about your writtings and discussions. I also want to say, Thank You for writing this blog as well. I have been reading your words for the past week, and it has opened my eyes to many things…I found your site on notyourmamasbiblestudy.com
      Thank you so much for everything ~ you are an inspiration ~ God Bless you and your words
      Kristin

      • Kristin
        August 22, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

        I am sorry, it wasn’t notyourmamasbiblestudy.com – it is notyourmamasbiblestudy.wordpress.com

      • peacefulwife
        August 23, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

        Kristen,
        I am so glad you are thinking about listening to your husband. This will make him feel SO MUCH MORE respected! Let me know how it goes! I am praying for you!

  5. andi
    August 22, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    Hello There! I have been reading your site for some time and truly appreciate the things you share.
    Thank you for so sweetly, yet Biblically and honestly writing about this sometimes touchy subject.
    God bless you,
    Andi

    • peacefulwife
      August 22, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

      Andi,
      Thank you so much! I appreciate the encouragement! May God richly bless your marriage and your faith in Him!

  6. Barbara
    August 22, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    I like to ride a bike almost daily, what would be a good idea today wear for that? I have been dressing what I felt was OK now I have been feeling I should be wearing skirts.

    • peacefulwife
      August 22, 2012 at 11:04 pm #

      Barbara,
      There are “running skirts” that come below the knee. I haven’t bought any for myself. I do run, but I wear yoga pants when I run, or jogging pants in the winter. I think on a bike, it could get tricky. Too long of a skirt would be dangerous, too short of a skirt would be less modest than pants. I personally vote for pants. What does your husband think?

      • Paulina
        April 26, 2014 at 2:15 am #

        I personally think that you can do EVERYTHING in skirts/dresses that you can do in pants!
        I ride my bike often in dresses that are below the knee. The dress will fly up a bit, so you must wear leggings or knee-length bike shorts underneath. But you will look oh-so-much prettier with a dress or skirt over the shorts!
        As for running…I haven’t done that since school…but I have seen cute athletic-type skirts that you could wear over the jogging pants for added modesty & femininity.
        I believe in the sufficiency and power of feminine clothing…If you wear leggings or bike shorts underneath your dresses/skirts, there is nothing you can’t do!
        : )

        • peacefulwife
          April 26, 2014 at 6:58 am #

          Paulina,

          Thanks so much for sharing!

          Yes, I have seen the running skirts. They are a bit pricey for me right now. But I am glad to know they are available. But that is a great idea to add a skirt over jogging pants.
          :)

        • Susan's Saddle Stands
          October 19, 2014 at 8:26 pm #

          riding horses? sidesaddle is very hard to do !

    • Alison Joy
      June 2, 2013 at 7:21 am #

      Hi Barbara, I’ve just read your comment and this is a bit late but just wanted to say that I ride a bike nearly every day and quite a distance too. I didn’t think at first a skirt would be practical to wear on one but as I had decided to wear a skirt every day it somehow works out fine. I do tend to wear a long, straight, stretchy one rather than a flowing skirt as it has got caught up in the break pad :) . I wear either tights or leggings underneath if I have to pull up the skirt a bit. Many years ago, I’m sure women rode bikes with very long skirts and they somehow managed, so all things are possible! Many people ask me how I do it, I think it’s something you can get used to. God bless you,
      Alison Joy

    • gracetruthblog
      July 18, 2013 at 11:13 pm #

      I ride in an antique bike club and many of us lady riders wear skirts that are knee length (just enough to clear the chains). The women of the Victorian days wore skirts and in fact their bikes had skirt guards! I think its pretty cool. :)

    • Susan's Saddle Stands
      October 19, 2014 at 8:23 pm #

      If I may speak freely and I think peaceful wife will agree,…if you are feeling like you should be wearing skirts because you read this blog, perhaps you are following a person and not the Holy Spirit. I have not worn dresses or skirts in forever and most likely never will again as the idea of femininity-hair, make-up, jewelry to me is like the proverbial fish out of water! But strange as it may seem I like reading this blog for the ideas she presents of finding God’s will for an individual Christians’s life and the let us pray stuff. Strange, isn’t it, but i found out long ago God does not make cookie cutter christians and He has a plan for everyone’s life. To agree with another Christian is not to exactly do what they do.

      • Peacefulwife
        October 20, 2014 at 9:43 am #

        Susan’s Saddle Stands,

        These issues about what to wear are issues for each women to pray through and find her own convictions in light of what she believes God desires her to do.

        Everyone is welcome here! :)

        Much love!

  7. Crissy
    August 23, 2012 at 1:09 am #

    Very good and thought-provoking post. Thank you, April. I tend to dress rather modestly anyway as I am large-chested, and unfortunately that means that even t-shirts sometimes feel too revealing unless they are super baggy! But as I sat here thinking about it, I realized I don’t even own a skirt. Not one. I’m going to talk with my husband and get his opinion.

    • peacefulwife
      August 23, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

      Crissy,
      Great idea about talking to your husband about it! His opinion is very important!

  8. Nana
    August 23, 2012 at 9:35 am #

    Hi April,
    Thanks for sharing. This has been thought provoking and really helpful. keep up the good work. I agree that you’re just one big good news to this world full of depravity.

    • peacefulwife
      August 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

      Nana,
      Thank you! Anything good in me is definitely a HUGE GOD THING not a me thing!

  9. Joanna
    August 24, 2012 at 6:18 am #

    I just stumbled on your site thank God for that. The Lord is leading me to make clothes for women. The line is simply called ‘Godly Women’. I have liked your page on FB. Hope to see you soon. Godly love,
    Kaneng Joanna Botmang -Lucu
    Toulouse, FRANCE.

    • peacefulwife
      August 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

      Joanna,
      It is wonderful to meet you! Welcome to Peacefulwife! Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I am looking forward to talking more with you.

  10. Sarah V.
    August 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    I was wondering if I could get your perspective on modesty at the swimming pool. We go to the pool a lot with our toddlers. I get very uncomfortable seeing all the indecent bikinis on most of the females there. My husband is a wonderful and respectful man. When we watch a movie he always looks away if scantily clad women come on. I feel bad for him when we go to the pool and he is surrounded by immodest women. Also, I don’t want my 3 year old daughter thinking that it is okay to wear such revealing clothing. I don’t want to stop going because we have so much fun!

    Also, your posts have made me think twice about what I wear to the pool. I only wear one pieces, but all swim suits seem to show leg and at least some cleavage.

    What are your thoughts on this? Thank you, and I love your blog.

    • peacefulwife
      August 24, 2012 at 6:58 pm #

      sarah,
      The swimming issue is definitely the most difficult modesty challenge, in my opinion! I have had a lot of help with that myself because the past two years I have become allergic to the sun – so I can’t sit outside in the sun at all, much less in a swimsuit. I have to have my arms, face, neck, chest totally covered or I pay for it later with itchy whelps. Might be kind of a blessing! Before the past two years, we mostly only went swimming at my parents’ house. And I started wearing a big t-shirt over my swimsuit for modesty’s sake and also to help prevent sunburn. I am VERY pale! But I was still uncomfortable even with that, as far as modesty goes. I had thought about getting mens’ swim shorts. But most of the time, I didn’t swim, I let my husband swim with the children and I stayed fully clothed and watched from the side of the pool.

      There are long sleeve swim shirts and pants – I have recently discovered that are SPF 50 and allow people with sun allergies, sun sensitivity and who are trying to avoid skin cancer to be in the sun and water. Those could be options.

      For me, the option I have used the most was to not swim and not wear a swim suit. But when your children are young, they need mama in the pool with them.

      I wish I had a better answer.

      Any one else with suggestions is welcome to share!

      • Lesley
        January 24, 2013 at 10:54 am #

        We get our swimsuits here…and love them!

        http://www.wholesomewear.com/culotte-a.html

      • Clara
        September 1, 2013 at 4:06 pm #

        Hello,
        My sister just told me about your blog and I have really enjoyed reading through the comments. Thank you for
        explaining these sometimes touchy issues so transparently.

        For swimsuits, One suggestion that’s a great resource…
        http://www.swimmodest.com. I really like their designs.

        Clara

        • peacefulwife
          September 1, 2013 at 5:55 pm #

          Clara,

          It is wonderful to meet you! I am looking forward to checking out that website. Thanks for the great reference. :)

  11. Joanna
    August 25, 2012 at 6:00 am #

    Hello. I think swimming dresses exist. In those days women used to bathe fully clothed. In Deauville or Biaritz it was the order of the day.

  12. Godly Women Tailoring
    August 25, 2012 at 6:04 am #

    Plesae check out this link on women swimsuits. You might find something interesting or get on tailored for you.

  13. maya
    August 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm #

    Hey peaceful wife! I’m not married but I found your blog through is this modest and I really enjoy it. I didn’t know exactly where to address this question. I have been wearing skirts more and have been attempting to be more feminine in my appearance. I have just started nursing school and I actually ordered a skirt as part of my school uniform. I had the option of pants or a skirt for my uniform. The uniform place messed up my order twice and I never received my skirt. I got pants instead. I feel like it has been on my heart to wear skirts more and I was really looking forward to wearing a skirt as part of my uniform. I feel like I still want to purchase a skirt but some people made it seem like it was unpractical. I know you mentioned that you worked in the health field. What do you think about me going ahead a purchasing a skirt anyway? I know this seems out of place but I wasn’t really sure who I could ask in real life. I’ve been convicted in the area of feminine and modest clothing recently and sometimes I’m not sure what is the best choice.

    • peacefulwife
      August 30, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

      Maya,
      You may also enjoy my blog http://www.peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com. :)

      I’m glad to meet you!

      My opinion is that if you want to try wearing the skirt uniform, you could, and if it is too difficult to manage in that, then you could change to the pants if it was a safety issue. Thankfully, scrubs aren’t super tight and not terribly immodest. Not that flattering, either, in my view!

      All nurses used to wear skirts years ago.

      It’s great to hear from you!

  14. Naveen Malik
    September 21, 2012 at 11:03 am #

    Hello, I pray you are well. I read your article by way of a share on my fb page. Very interesting. I am a muslim myself. But with the globalization, immodesty is rampant everywhere. The phrase that God likes or dislikes something no longer hits home with people. What was wonderful in your article was the fact that the sense of modesty came from within through self realization. It means it is innate with us human beings in general. The more we attune with nature the more we become what we are to become ( i hope that makes sense). I also cover myself- It is a choice i made but am sad when people pass general statements which suggest that I am oppressed or do not have any say etc etc. I wear a veil because I believe that is modesty. I also went through a lot of soul searching before i arrived at my decision. Thank God. Yes people are more respectful and I am a brain with a voice who chooses to remove that clothing in front of men that are related and there are ofcourse no barriers between a husband and wife. Anyhow just wanted to appreciate your sense. May God Guide you towards that which is best in both this life and the next- Ameen.

    • peacefulwife
      September 21, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

      Naveen,

      Thank you for your kind and gracious comments! It’s wonderful to “meet” you! I LOVE the freedom of modesty and the beauty of modest femininity. It is definitely not oppressive to me at all – but rather, liberating. I am so glad to hear from you. May God richly bless you. You’re always welcome here. :)

  15. Unyime-Ivy King
    November 21, 2012 at 8:56 am #

    Interesting post here, Peaceful wife. I stumbled on your blog from a friends. You may wish to read my post about indecent dressing on my blog:http://bit.ly/XB87Vo. When it comes to matters of dressing, what is on the inside always reflects outside. One can still look feminine in pants, because there are pants for women, and pants for men. In the part of Nigeria where I come from, Akwa Ibom State, both men and women tie wrappers on their waist, as a form of dressing, but what differs is the way it is done. A woman wears hers, differently from the man’s. Of course, if one’s husband is not comfortable to see one in pants, then honor him and desist; but if he does not mind, then one should not feel guilty about wearing pants because, it is not a sin to do so. Once you lift up your dressing standards to the mirror of God’s word, and the Holy Spirit convicts you about what you are putting on, then you are home and dry. God’s word, as ministered to us by His Spirit is our standard for all that we do.

    • peacefulwife
      November 21, 2012 at 9:11 am #

      Unyime-Ivy King,

      Thanks for your comments! I love hearing about dressing in Nigeria. :)
      There are definitely feminine pants. I don’t think that I would ever say “it is a sin for women to wear pants.” There are pants that are modest, and some husbands prefer pants or slacks.

      I listed the reasons that I chose to wear skirts. But there is not one specific dress code for all Christian women. I believe each woman must arrive at her own convictions with the guidance of her husband.

      It is primarily our heart attitude of humility in our dress and our desire not to be a stumbling block to our Christian brothers that is the main thing.

      Great comments! Thank you so much!

  16. Natalie
    January 10, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

    I know this is so late, but I wanted to mention that active type shorts or rash guards can make good swimming costumes. Although I don’t have a problem with typical swim tops (tankini) I do like keeping my lower half covered, and some form of water shorts is really good for that without looking super frumpy. If you pair your swim top and shorts with a rash guard or cover-up you’ve got a “normal” swimsuit that’s still modest. (I like feeling “normal” because I think standing out can also draw attention to oneself and therefore doesn’t feel as modest to me.)

    • peacefulwife
      January 10, 2013 at 1:14 pm #

      great ideas! Thanks so much for sharing, Natalie!

  17. Tricia
    January 21, 2013 at 1:20 pm #

    Hi there! Loved these posts about feminitiy/modesty in dress. I’m a newlywed of 2 years and I’ve done similar things with my wardrobe. I wear more skirts (though not all the time) and I’ve started wearing jewelry. When I was single, I could care less about whether I had jewelry to go with my “outfits” (if you can even call jeans & a tee-shirt and outfit). But my husband likes to buy me jewelry and he loves it when I wear it. I think it makes me more attractive to him and I love honoring him this way. It’s become a priority to me to “accesorize” now. Who knew that wearing jewelry could be part of a God-honoring marriage??

    • peacefulwife
      January 21, 2013 at 7:54 pm #

      Tricia,
      That is beautiful!
      He loves to see that you enjoy and appreciate the jewelry he bought you. That is so honoring to him and makes him feel like he can please you and make you happy. I love your story! Thank you so much for sharing. :)

  18. Keli
    January 25, 2013 at 8:42 pm #

    Honestly, I never wear skirts, and will never wear them daily. I feel very uncomfortable in skirts, dresses, etc, for three reasons. Cold, the fact that you have to wear hose and fancy shoes, and the fact is that if you’re sensitive to cold and fabric brushing against you, sensitive to touch, it can actually be very uncomfortable.

    I take into account modesty in dressing, I wear long pants, blouses that don’t reveal a lot too. It’s more about personal choice.

    I don’t hold hands with guys, it’s an emotional connection point that I’ve been convicted of over the course of a relationship. I don’t kiss guys, and won’t until a marriage bound relationship.

    • peacefulwife
      January 25, 2013 at 8:49 pm #

      I never wore them daily either until I was 37 years old! I hated fancy shoes – uncomfortable. And I definitely hate hose!

      That is why I love wearing long skirts- no hose necessary. And I can wear leggings or yoga pants under them when it’s cold. And I found some comfy boots for winter, I can even wear white cotton socks under them which is much better for my feet. So, I don’t have to sacrifice comfort or warmth at all.

      But what you wear is a decision between you and God. There are beautiful classy pants. I don’t see the Bible place rules on us about exactly what to wear. It’s more an attitude of the heart and desiring to please and honor God. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your ideas very much!

  19. Keli
    January 25, 2013 at 8:44 pm #

    There’s a difference between dressing like a hooker and dressing CLASSY… I love classy. I like jewelry, the right kind, not costume stuff. I don’t usually wear jewelry for the same touch sensitivity… every jewelry piece is ITCHY…

    • Keli
      January 25, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

      I don’t think it’s proper to be scratching under a necklace while the pastor tries to preach… LOL…

    • peacefulwife
      January 25, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

      There are many beautiful styles to choose from that are feminine and modest. I’m glad we dont’ all have to be the same and that there are so many wonderful choices!

  20. Keli
    January 25, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

    Honestly, a lot of my personal clothing choices, when it comes down to it, I have a few nice blouse types. I like wearing one in particular, as the neckline is versatile, but I have to have a shirt that comes right up to my neck/shoulder. Mostly, I wear t-shirts because my upper chest/below my neck, usually gets cold, a lot. So I like warmth… I think that’s more modest than most women, though it’s odd to wear t-shirts instead of dressy stuff, but I do occassionally dress nice for interviews and church.

    • peacefulwife
      January 25, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

      I am allergic to the sun now – so I have to wear long sleeves in summer. And because of my shape – a very small chest and bigger belly – button down blouses don’t work, so t-shirt type shirts are modest with the neckline and more forgiving of my shape – so I end up going with that a lot even thought I would love to wear dressier blouses. It’s hard to find XS blouses – and when I do, they gape on my chest. Not good. Going clothes shopping is one of my least favorite things to do. But I love to dress femininely. What I need is my own seamstress! :)

      Sent from my iPad

      • Keli
        January 25, 2013 at 9:18 pm #

        Being a size 2x, I tend to have difficulty finding fun nice clothes other than older women styles… Blah… But I am losing weight, and honestly, I received a compliment from a guy friend this week that really inspired me to be better as a person, and better in organization/clean my car… He told me I was a blessing to his life as a Christian, I was also told by my best friend’s mother that I remind her of my best friend. Both of these gave me a lot of confience in that my faith IS impacting people for Christ. I truly thought I was not even having that impact. The Holy Spirit revealed it exactly when He wanted to. I do love beauty and being joyful in Christ, and I guess it’s a good time to show it.

        Thank you for your encouragement. :) Be Blessed!

    • peacefulwife
      January 25, 2013 at 10:36 pm #

      That is awesome! Jesus can definitely shine through you and it is your beautiful, gentle, peaceful spirit that trust Him and does not give way to fear that is so precious to Him. So many blessings for you this week. Thank you for sharing! May God richly bless your walk with Him!

      Let me know how you are doing!

  21. Rose
    February 9, 2013 at 9:37 am #

    I only wear skirts and dresses, in the winter I have a selections of wool skirts which I wear with boots, In the summer the fabric selection vary but always natural fabric that allows my skin to breathe . There is no particular reason why I don’t wear trousers, I simply prefer skirts and dresses,

    I no long have a partner, so wearing skirts is not to please someone else but me, yes they are piratical and they hide those extra flesh that we don’t really want to see, but is so obvious in trousers.

    I love that I can have a selection of colours and prints, short and long, each day a different look, can you imagine if this was trousers, in a bold floral print.

    As my age increases so does my waistline, which does not match my hips, so being able to make my own allows me to adjust the skirts according to my shape

    I would recommend seeking out a dressmaker and having one made if you have never tried a skirt.

    You can check out some of my skirts here

    http://www.cheekyrosestudio.com/skirts1.html

    and what I have made for others here

    http://www.cheekyrosestudio.com/skirts.html

  22. Chelsea
    February 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

    Wow this was so amazing to read, i just came across the blog yesterday and i have already been soooo blessed by what i have read.

    • peacefulwife
      February 18, 2013 at 4:20 pm #

      Thanks for the encouragement, CHelsea! Much love to you!!!!

  23. Chelsea
    February 18, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

    Also i want to just say thank you peacefulwife for giving me a knew perspective on dressing modestly and femeninly, i also absolutely love that definition of modesty – humility in clothing – i really think that humility is such a big part of it!
    Thank you so much for sharing!

    • peacefulwife
      February 18, 2013 at 4:19 pm #

      Isn’t it beautiful!! I LOVE cherishing my femininity now! :)

  24. Rebekah
    February 26, 2013 at 1:59 pm #

    I so appreciate this post on modesty. While I am not married, modesty is something which my mom really instilled in my sister and I while growing up. When we were littl (14 and younger), out mom had much say in what we wore. At 15, she told us she trusted us to make wise decisions. My personal decisions were:
    (1). Nothing too tight.
    (2) No shorts (except for sleeping during summer and under skirts). I do wear capri-pants occasionally, but not often.
    (3). No sleeveless shirts. Something else about shirts that I try to be cautious of is shirts that have pictures or words right across the bust line. I don’t want someone trying to read words right there!!!
    Typically, I wear loose pants. I’m not crazy on jeans (comfort-wise) unless I’m doing especially rough outside work. Usually, I wear loose, semi-thick knit or cotton pants.
    I like long skirts and enjoy wearing them a couple times a week. I don’t feel my pants are immodest, so whether I wear loose, nice pants or a skirt just depends on what I’m doing.
    I do have a question for you. Since I am a very large person, I have to wear something under my skirts due to … uncomfortable issues from skin rubbing on skin. Usually, I wear light-weight basketball shorts under, but I have issues with the shorts causing the skirt to bunch up. In your experience, what is the best thing to wear under skirts. Also, when it is cold outside, what is the best thing to wear under the skirts?
    Again, I REALLY enjoyed your post. This is an important area, especially for Christians/Believers who are ambassadors of Christ. Thanks for the encouragement.

    • peacefulwife
      February 26, 2013 at 7:30 pm #

      Rebekah,
      It is wonderful to meet you!

      How refreshing to hear about a mama teaching her daughters the blessings of modesty. Love it!

      I like to wear yoga pants under my long skirts when it is cold. If it is REALLY cold, you could do thermal underwear and yoga pants under the skirts. Then I tuck the pants into my boots.

      As a pharmacist, I want to be sure I don’t have you wearing things that retain moisture – because if you are prone to external yeast infections, that can be an issue. But if you don’t have issues with that, you could use biker shorts underneath. If that holds too much moisture, then you could wear capri yoga pants or workout pants that are capris – if you are wearing long skirts.

      What do you think?

      You are so very welcome! Thanks for the comments!

      • Rebekah
        February 26, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

        II’ve never had any kind of yeast infection (that I know of), and I don’t think I’m sensitive to any kinds of fabric. My issue is that I get hot super easily (hot skin rubbing against hot skin = dry, irritable, itchy skin). That’s why I’ve mostly worn basketball shorts since they provide a shield between the skin but also allow “breathe-ability.” I will definitely check out yoga pants or yoga capri pants. Thanks!

        • peacefulwife
          February 26, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

          I think they should be breathable and prevent the chaffing. :). May God richly bless your walk with Him!

          Peacefulwife.com

  25. Rose
    February 26, 2013 at 7:40 pm #

    I always wear wool in the winter and they are all lined, which stops it riding up or bunching between the legs. How about thermal underwear under the skirt, keeps you warm also.

    • peacefulwife
      February 26, 2013 at 7:44 pm #

      Great ideas, Rose! Thanks!

      • Faith
        February 28, 2013 at 2:15 pm #

        hello April, came across your website a week ago and have been loving it. Am in Zimbabwe and have been married for 7yrs. My husband buys my clothes and he prefers jeans so u i wear those everyday. He says he rather see ne wearing them rather than be tempted by other women out there! does it meab im less holy than a woman in skirts cause i do consider myself a good christian woman even in my jeans! much love

        • peacefulwife
          February 28, 2013 at 3:04 pm #

          Faith,
          It’s great to meet you!!! :) I’m so glad you wrote to me!

          The Bible does not specifically say that wearing pants/jeans is a sin. There were no such clothing items for women back then!

          If your husband prefers to see you wearing jeans – I think it’s great to wear them especially around him.

          If you know that other men are having issues with lusting after you – then that could be an issue. Maybe you could wear non-skin-tight pants/jeans in public? And save the tight jeans for when you are with him?

          You can ask your husband what he thinks is appropriate and let him know that you want to be sure not to create unnecessary temptation for other men. :)

  26. Faith
    March 1, 2013 at 1:57 am #

    thanx so much April your blog is a breath of fresh air, stay blessed!

  27. LisainVermont
    March 21, 2013 at 12:51 pm #

    Peacefulwife,

    I am trying to wear skirts more often to please my husband, but I have three active children and I send a lot of time being active with them outside, plus homemaking, plus gardening in warmer weather.

    Have you found that a particular type of skirt works best when your focus is on getting things done — and being modest, of course — rather than just looking nice?

    Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!

    • peacefulwife
      March 21, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

      Lisa,
      I often wear skirts when doing housework. The really long ones can be a tripping hazard, so you may want to go more with tea length. I wear yoga pants when I run. Then I wear skirts the rest of the time. If you are in the dirt – you may need to wear gardening clothes. But you can wear a tea length denim skirt, possibly – to handle being on your knees without ruining the skirt. I have seen running skirts advertised. They are close to knee length and have a skort underneath, I think. But I haven’t bought any. They are available online.

      Does that help?

    • peacefulwife
      March 21, 2013 at 8:14 pm #

      LisainVermont,

      You may want to have one set of clothing for during the day when you are working and then change into something more beautiful before your husband comes home.

      • LisainVermont
        March 26, 2013 at 11:13 am #

        Thanks peaceful wife. I’ve seen those running skirts with capris underneath and I’m thinking about buying one for working out as well as gardening/playing on the playground as they seem to be quite modest while still allowing freedom of movement.

        I’m really enjoying your blog by the way. It’s teaching me a lot about how to be a better Christian wife.

        • peacefulwife
          March 26, 2013 at 7:30 pm #

          LisainVermont,
          I am so glad you are finding encouragement here. Let me know how the running skirts work out for you!

  28. Michelle
    April 1, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    I loved your article. Thanks for sharing pics of your skirts, they are pretty. I’ve always worn jeans/pants or capris. ( From childhood on thru my first marriage. i was married to a non religeous man so clothing wasn’t a big deal. i had walked away from God for the time i was with my X so i didnt go by the bible on many things. i thank God daily for helping me get right with him again) My husband asked me to wear skirts when we first were married 12 yrs ago. I didn’t and over time he asked again. Well I finally started to last yr and he loved it !!! I just didn’t feel right. So I kept going back to jeans and I could tell he wasn’t really ok with it. So went back and forth for a while. He really loves skirts. I kept asking him why ?? He told me he likes women to wear skirts/dresses because it is more modest and he feels she is a godly woman if wearing them. So I gave in and wear skirts. My two oldest boys ( 22 & 15) think its weird seeing mom in skirts after all the yrs in jeans. My two youngest son and daughter (10 & 7) like mom wearing skirts like daddy likes it. So to please my husband I do wear skirts more than jeans now and i do feel more modest and they are comfy. My problem is I’m heavy set and short, so I feel that I look ” dumpy” in skirts. I told my husband that but he said he thinks I’m beautiful in them and it seems he acts different when he comes home from work and im in a skirt. I need to figure out how to get over the feeling that I look terrible in them because of my height and weight. Plus it doesn’t help that my mom said skirts make big women look bigger ( she’s big too). With skirts there’s no shape on a big woman, it looks tent like. So if anyone can help with this I’d love to hear from you. I do want to be submissive and please my husband ! I jus hate the way I look and how others see me im sure in skirts. One more thing, he went to sunrise service at church yesterday , me and the kids waited until the sunrise breakfast. When I sat down at the table my husband looked at me, smiled with a wink and said ” you look very nice” . I was wearing a spring looking skirt outfit. I need to get it in my head that he’s the one I need to please, no one else. I just wish I was skinny then it would be easier for me to dress how he wants me to.

    • peacefulwife
      April 1, 2013 at 8:51 pm #

      Michelle,

      I think that is awesome that your husband thinks you are so beautiful when you are in a skirt. Men are very visual – and that is a huge reminder to him that you are a woman. The more feminine you look and act – the more masculine HE feels! Kinda cool, huh?

      What length skirts does he like? If they are around knee length or a bit longer – I don’t see where they would look like a tent. :)

      I agree that it is most important that your husband loves the way you look – not what your mom says. :)

      Be confident and feel sexy knowing that your husband is so turned on by you and enjoy the gift of your femininity. That’s my suggestion!

      • Michelle
        April 1, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

        Thank you for answering. I read your comment to my husband and he smiled. So I take it that means he agrees with what you said. I mainly wear little below the knee or to ankle. I have some cute ones, just feel self concious. You are right it’s about how he feels and what he thinks. Thank you for agreeing with my hubby, it makes me feel better.

        • peacefulwife
          April 1, 2013 at 9:15 pm #

          I personally think skirts look awesome on all body shapes and sizes.

          You may want to check out my post on people pleasing – it may help you drop that desire to have other people’s approval and concentrate solely on God’s approval and then, as a distant second, your husband’s approval.

    • Pam
      April 2, 2013 at 8:10 am #

      First you must like yourself, then others will see you how you see yourself. If you don’t like you, your shape, your hair, whatever, you are telling everyone out there, I am not happy with who I am. please look at my bad point, as they are more important than my good points.
      Your husband is knows your good and bad points and he is seeing something in you that you choose not to see, the beautiful lady he married, the person who you really are, not the person that is defined by the clothes she wears.

      My mum is 4’9″ and a size 22uk,, essentially she is a large square, but you will never she her wearing trousers to church, and she always always looks amazing.

      First find a style of skirt that suits yours shape, colours that complement your skin tone, patterns that bring out your personality, a length that you are comfortable in, don’t buy because it is a skirt, buy because it suits your personality. If you can, get someone to make your skirts and if you buy them get someone to alter the hemline to suit your body so that it falls evenly round the hemline. I made this heck skirt for a size 24, although it not visible, the hemline is not straight, I have padded my dummy out to represent her figure, so when she wears it, it is falls evenly round the hemline. . http://thedressmakerscloset.blogspot.co.uk/p/portfolio_9.html
      Good luck Michelle

      • peacefulwife
        April 12, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

        Wonderful tips, Pam!!!! Thank you so much!

  29. Michelle
    April 1, 2013 at 10:29 pm #

    Thank you, I will read your post on people pleasing.

  30. Holly Yonker-Stoviak
    April 12, 2013 at 10:22 am #

    I love skirts, too! You will be more likely to be additionally screened at airports ( happens to me all the time) but who cares ;)
    Love your blog!

    • peacefulwife
      April 12, 2013 at 12:34 pm #

      Thanks, Holly!!! Hmm… I guess I can understand why. One time when I was working the night shift at the pharmacy at Kroger – a large woman in a very long skirt came in – and she was hobbling her way out of the store when an entire TURKEY fell out of her skirt. She was trying to steal it and was trying to walk with it between her knees!

  31. Michelle
    April 12, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    As I’ve written before, my husband is the one that asked me to start wearing skirts. I didn’t own any when we got together. About a yr after marriage I bought my first dress and it went from there. Over the yrs I added a dress or skirt here and there. Just few months ago I still only had 5 in my closet. Now we’ve been married almost 13 yrs and half of my closet is skirts. I changed the way I was walking with The Lord and the way I was respecting my husband last year. At that point I wanted to be pleasing to God and hubby so I bought a skirt with every time he got paid ( with his permission ofcourse). He loves that I have changed my wardrobe. I’m not ready to get rid of my jeans and capris just yet. But this is the third week in a row that I’ve been in strictly skirts daily. Woo hooo hubby is very happy. I was concerned about me wearing skirts because I am heavy set and I thought I looked terrible. Then I realized it doesn’t matter what I think I look like, it matters what HE thinks and he loves the skirts. He said its more modest and he thinks I look cute in skirts. We even have our daughter age 7 loving skirts and dresses. We homeschool so if she wants to wear dresses/skirts daily its ok sence she won’t be romping around with a bunch of other kids. Our 10 yr old son even used to say to me when I’d put jeans on ” mom, dad wants you in a skirt” lol. The oldest child in the home is the one that kinda thinks its weird, but doesn’t say anything bad. I’ve been in jeans/capris all of his life until recently.( he’ll be 16 in 2 weeks) he’s from my previous marriage and his dad is the furthest thing from God so he didn’t wish I’d dress any certain way. ( why I was attracted to my X is beyond me, he didn’t go to church with me and lived total opposit of the bible, but at least I’m with a very Godly husband and have been 13 yrs and many more to come). So with all this being sed, I love skirts now, boy are they comfy and I do feel more modest and more feminine. Used to it was just every once in a while on Sundays I’d wear a skirt. So the skirt wearing shall continue and eventually the jeans/capris will be gone. I will keep a pair or two for night camping only. Thanks so much for your blog, it’s helped. :-) Michelle

    • peacefulwife
      April 12, 2013 at 11:44 am #

      I am so excited for you! Sounds like your husband is having a blast. :). That puts a smile on my face. Thank you so much for sharing!!! It is wonderful to hear from you, Michelle!

      Sent from my iPad

  32. Michelle
    April 12, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    Thank you April and yup he is loving it for sure !

  33. Michelle
    April 12, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

    Oh my goodness that is crazy. Ok I’m heavy set but no way shape or form am I gona have a turkey in my skirt, lol too funny !!! That must’ve been a sight.

  34. Jacinda
    April 17, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    I have to say that I hate skirts with an absolute passion. My father used to get us to wear them to church as it was the “done thing” and I never felt comfortable in them. Still don’t, I don’t even own a single skirt and I don’t intend to. Give me jeans and hoodies any day, and thankfully my husband loves me in jeans and hoodies. I’m glad that you clarified your post saying that it’s not a “one size fits all” (pardon the pun!) thing with skirts – each to their own. T-shirts and hoodies work for me, skirts never will. I’m not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination, always have preferred my comfy casual clothes and my husband loves me in nothing better than sweats or joggers.

    • peacefulwife
      April 17, 2013 at 9:07 am #

      Jacinda,
      Thanks for sharing!

      I wore jeans and a t-shirt every day for MANY years. Thanks for sharing your point of view. :)

  35. Rebecca
    April 28, 2013 at 11:47 am #

    I grew up in a religious community where females were not allowed to wear trousers or skirts. I decided to leave the community when I was 28 and had to adjust to the “outside world”
    I started to work in an office environment. For a long time I was the only woman wearing a skirt or dress. It did not bother me for some time but then started to become self conscious as the “odd one out”. I gave the matter careful thought and prayed for guidance and, one day when I was in the street, I suddenly had a thought “why shouldn’t I wear trousers”

    I did nothing about it for several weeks but then decided to try a pair on for the first time. I was surprised how comfortable they felt and found myself at nearly 30 years of age buying my first pair of trousers.

    It felt odd at first having my legs encased in material and I kept on having to do a double take in the mirror. The funny thing was that nobody took any notice at work of me wearing trousers for the first time.

    I now have several pairs and probably wear trousers 3 or 4 times each week.

    • peacefulwife
      April 28, 2013 at 1:00 pm #

      Rebecca,

      Thank you for sharing your story! :). It is wonderful to meet you.

  36. Michelle
    April 28, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    Hey April I have Kool news. I’m still wearing skirts daily (4 or 5 wks now I lost track), hubby is loving it !!! We had a Girl Scout sleepover this past friday, i wore a skirt friday nite and saturday even running around w the girls. I cleaned our van yesterday inside and out with one on. Rick had to go to Missouri for work 2 wks ago and I had a thought, hey he’s gone so I think I’ll wear jeans a few days. Well every morning when I got dressed I automatically put on a skirt. The kids and I joined him in Missouri the second week he was there. And guess what, I packed nuttin but skirts :-) he was happy when he saw my clothes in the hotel closet. We went to the city museum , Arch, walked around etc. Today at church one of the lady’s gave me the cutest calf length black skirt w white polka dots. Can’t wait to wear it. So 41 yrs of jean/Capri/shorts wearing , ( only once in a very blue moon a skirt to church) and I’ve been in skirts for a month or so straight. Woo hoo !!! It’s so comfy and I feel modest, never even imagined that every day life could be done in a skirt. Most important is I’m being submissive to the hubby and I’m enjoying it. :-)

    • peacefulwife
      April 28, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

      Aww! The thing that makes me smile the most is how much your husband loves it. What a sweet gift to give to him. :)

  37. Michelle
    May 21, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

    Hello, it’s been a while sence I’ve posted. I need some encouragement. I’ve been obeying my husbands wishes and wearing skirts daily and have been loving it. He even turned me loose in CJ Banks with the debit card for Mother’s Day. I was sensible and got some cute outfits but put some back due to not wanting to overspend. So anyway it’s been what 3 months now mayb, that I’ve been skirts daily. I’m a Girl Scout leader and we had our bridging ceremony on Sunday. So I had to get up on stage and bridge some of my girls on to juniors. Hubby took lots of pictures of me. Well when I was viewing them I was very disgusted to what I saw. I’m short and heavy set, enough said !! My mom told me a couple times that big women look bigger in skirts and look much better in pants/jeans/capris ( as I’ve mentioned before in a post). So after seeing the pics on Sunday I got real bummed and sed to self ” wow is she right or what “! I want to please my husband and The Lord by dressing modest, and I do love my new wardrobe. I feel comfy, modest, and seems I have a better outlook on being home full time and schooling the kiddos. So with this being said, I want to continue wearing skirts daily but when I saw the pics it made me feel terrible about how I look and made me think mom is right. Hubby wants me to continue and says it matters what he likes and how i feel. He said ignore the pics. And mom, he said sence she is heavy and won’t wear skirts, she’s trying to make me have the same opinion and it’s working. She’s a very loving mom/grandma and raised me single and did a great job. She has very low self image and has been judged her whole life, so I know she’s just trying to protect me from being judged by others. Rick said I’m beautiful to him and was made in Gods image, when I don’t like what I see, I’m not liking what God created. ( aarrgghh hubby is right as always lol ). Why can’t I like what I see in pictures. ( now some pics I like myself, jus the ones Sunday really bummed me ).

    • peacefulwife
      May 21, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

      Michelle,

      I agree with your husband that his opinion and preferences ought to carry more weight than your Mama’s. :)

      Is it possible that you are listening to a voice from the enemy?

      What is your goal with your appearance?

      Is it possible that you don’t like the pictures because you have heard your mom’s comments so many times?

      You are an image bearer of God! You are a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords! Your beauty comes from your gentle, peaceful spirit that does what is right and does not give way to fear. Your acceptance and approval are in Jesus – bought with His blood.

      If you want to work on the weight issue some – that is fine – as long as you are seeking to be healthy and a good steward of your body.

      In the mean time – I vote for being confident in the body you have because of Jesus’ love for you – and let that love of His just overflow from your life – splattering onto everyone around you. :)

    • Anis
      May 21, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

      Why should feminine clothes be reserved for only certain women? It seems to me that one of the lies that women believe is that if you can’t be thin and beautiful and young, there is no use trying to look feminine and pretty, so getting that short mature haircut is sensible and ditching dresses is mandatory. Something about femininity feeds both your soul and your husband’s. Think about it- you are a warm and lovely woman and are as entitled to femininity as the most beautiful woman in the world is. It is your birthright.

      If you think that the skirts you wore were tent-like, perhaps consider skirts with a different shape next time you shop… instead of an a-line, perhaps a mermaid or pencil? And if you are feeling down about your appearance, a little pretty time where you give yourself a pedicure or facial, etc always helps. :) Sometimes it helps to feel you are at your best.

      I have been trying to train myself to think of my goal as “feminine pretty” because any woman can succeed at that at any age if she puts in a little effort.

      Who needs soul stripping criticism? Maintaining beauty takes time and energy… baby steps of small resolutions, sure… but there should be no space for thoughts that destroy. Check out As A Man Thinketh by James Allen – you are the ‘gardener’ of your thoughts. Think about those things that are true & lovely & pure, etc and fight thoughts that steal your joy. Blessings!

      • peacefulwife
        May 21, 2013 at 4:21 pm #

        Anis,
        Thank you for encouraging our sister! May God richly bless your walk with Him and your marriage!

      • Michelle
        May 21, 2013 at 5:00 pm #

        Thankyou Anis for the post. The skirts I wear are just below the knee or between lower calf and ankle. Very cute skirts !! I guess I’m just looking at myself thru society eyes instead of how God and my husband looks at me. I do go and get my nails done monthly , we call it my ” allowance” sence I choose not to go out and about with friends etc. so I get gel nails and very pretty colors etc and toe nails painted as well. I’ve been heavy ever sence my second child was born who is now 16 ( I have 22,16,11,7). I guess I have a thought of thin is the best look. I deny myself of really believing my husband when he says he Loves what he sees and fell in Love with my heart and body weight isnt going to make him love me or want me any less. The way he treats me and looks at me is amazing. So why isnt that enough !? I need to get satan out of my head today and forever ! Thankyou again for your post.

        • peacefulwife
          May 21, 2013 at 5:02 pm #

          Michelle,
          I can’t begin to tell you how many wives would give ANYTHING to have a man who loved them like that!
          You are SO BLESSED! :)

          • Michelle
            May 21, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

            Yes April you are right. That’s what keeps me wearing skirts and being a keeper at home etc because I am very blessed with having Rick. My X husband wasn’t even near what Rick is, and biggest part he wasn’t and isn’t a God follower. Ricks truly heaven sent, is leader In the home, very much a man of God etc . I need to learn to love me for me not for what I think I need to be, size wise. Can people share pictures on here ? I have a pic from Mother’s Day banquet of my daughter and I. It doesn’t show my whole body size, she’s hiding most of it.

            • peacefulwife
              May 21, 2013 at 7:01 pm #

              You can try! If not, you may email me and I can post it on the thread, I think. :)

              • Michelle
                May 21, 2013 at 8:35 pm #

                What is ur email ?

              • peacefulwife
                May 22, 2013 at 12:27 pm #

                Michelle,

                Nope! I can’t post it here, either. I tried, but it won’t let me put a picture. I am sorry!

                • Michelle
                  May 22, 2013 at 12:49 pm #

                  Ty for trying. You saw them and that’s what matters. I’ve thought about what you said in emails and I have prayed about it. I’m going to do my best to love my body no matter what size. Rick loves me for who I am not my body size. To God I am beautifully made, so if I can just get that thru my thick head, all will be good. I’m still wearing skirts because I do agree it’s more modest and hubby wants me too and as ive mentioned before very comfy and i feel good in them ( except when i see a pic of myself). We even have our daughter wearing dresses/skirts mostly and she likes it. So I have to keep the mind set that this is pleasing to God and Rick so I need to be happy to wear them without putting myself down for being plus size.

  38. Michelle
    May 21, 2013 at 1:49 pm #

    Thank-you April you always know just what to say. I think it is me listening to the enemy and mom over God and hubby. When I’m around my family here, church family and friends and even in public, I wear skirts with confidence. So I’m going to pray and know that it is important what God and Rick want me to do. Not mom or the enemy. Thankyou again.

  39. Rhoda
    June 25, 2013 at 5:20 pm #

    Really inspired. I don’t wear jeans pants similar reasons as yours but I don’t have any probIem with the modest, flowing pants that may not present much temptation to men either.

    • peacefulwife
      June 25, 2013 at 9:21 pm #

      Rhoda,

      Thanks I am glad you are inspired. :) Thank you for the encouragement!

  40. gracetruthblog
    July 18, 2013 at 11:00 pm #

    I too have been in the process of the wardrobe transition. I decided around 6-9 months ago to get rid of all but 3 pairs of my work pants and all but 2 pairs of my jeans. I also find it easier to get ready when selecting a skirt or dress than a pair of pants. Not sure why but am happy to see I’m not the only one. I do to find that I’ve received more kind gestures with this style of dress and I hope it encourages other women to do the same. Quick tip on where to find knee length or longer skirts…Salvation Army, Goodwill Easter Seals, and other Thrift Shops. They are usually $4.99 or less, gently used and good quality. The prices can not be matched, as the retail stores are typically selling “in style” skirts which are the too tight or too short skirts and the Thrift stores price them accordingly. Longer skirts maybe out of style for the masses but not for me and I’m happy to scoop my $4.99 skirts. :)

    • peacefulwife
      July 19, 2013 at 7:03 am #

      Gracetruthblog,
      Yes, there are some awesome finds at thrift stores! Great tip!

      Thanks so much for sharing. :)

  41. Michelle
    July 18, 2013 at 11:25 pm #

    I’m glad to hear about more and more women wearing skirts this day in age. I made the switch about 5 months ago I think. I did because hubby asked if I would. He does see it as being modest etc. I still struggle alot of mornings tho. I just can’t get over skirts making me look bigger. I’m heavy enough without adding more weight looks. I hate my body size ! I’ve had many many tests ran to see if it’s medical and it’s not, bummer :-(
    The dr sed I do retain alot of water, so we tried water pills and I got sick. I drink nothing but water all day and one glass of skim milk before bed. I eat alot of fruit and veggies, mostly fresh. I’m not a candy person and limit my junk food. So I just don’t get it !! I hate being plus size, it make me sick to look in a mirror. But the hubby sees me as beautiful, especially in skirts, so I wear to please him. They are comfy and I have real cute ones. Problem is big women look bigger in skirts. I do anyway. Jeans suck it in and give you a shape. That’s why I struggle with it. I’m going to keep wearing tho, I just wish I looked better !

  42. Marie
    July 24, 2013 at 2:19 pm #

    Hi April. I just started wearing long skirts only last month because I was so sick of guys staering at my butt in jeans and my husband grabbing my butt. I talked to him about this and he thought skirts only was a good idea. I have been sewing my own skirts and haveing fun with the online fabric choices. I can sew a maxi skirt for $15 or less. Cotton Lawn or georgette fabrice drapes nicely as does knits. I have a lot of pain and lost self esteem from the seductive ways I use to dress and how men have treated me because of it. I was convicted of it years ago but have finally understood how I had been promoteing myself. Woman use to be so snotty to me, I thought they were jealous. Im embarrassed now but so glad God got through to me. In my beautiful skirts I feel respected and safe and feminine and pleaseing to God. I am so happy now that I have made this change. I am healing and growing in my relationship with God.

    • peacefulwife
      July 24, 2013 at 7:05 pm #

      Marie,

      I love hearing about how you are sewing your skirts! That sounds like a lot of fun. I also love that you shared your story a bit. In fact, I wonder if you might be interested in writing a post anonymously for me sometime? It would be after the 40 days of the Respect Dare – so later in August or anytime after that. I think your story would resonate with many women on this site and my blog for single women http://www.peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com.
      Please pray about it and let me know what you think!

      I am SO excited about what God is doing in you. It is BEAUTIFUL!

      • Marie
        August 28, 2013 at 9:28 am #

        I would be happy to write a post for your blog. Sorry I didnt respond sooner, have been busy sewing in my free time :) God has been healing my heart so much since I started wearing only skirts. I feel so protected from mens lust now. I always hated that feeling that men were oogleing me and grabbing me and making innopropriate comments. I just never realized how I was advertising myself in those skinny jeans and tube tops. I have a feminine body very curvy and I was proud to show it off, meanwhile it was destroying my heart and self respect. Now when I put my pretty maxi skirt and T shirt on each morning I feel my self respect coming back to me and I feel so blessed. Everyone in my life is treating me differently. Nicer. More respectful. Men especially. This has changed my life and seeing your website has helped acknowledge for me what the struggle was about. I wasnt respecting myself.

  43. Abbi
    August 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    I like to wear skirts, but I feel for me wearing a skirt all the time while homeschooling 5 kids isn’t the answer. So I’ve found a way to make jeans modest, I wear a long shirt (actually if I buy it in the store it’s considered a short dress) that covers everything (the two I have come down to my mid thigh). So the jeans combined with the short dress actually make a really cute outfit that’s modest too! In the summer I roll the jeans up to make capris, so its a versatile outfit for hot or cold weather.

    • peacefulwife
      August 2, 2013 at 8:23 pm #

      Abbi,

      Thank you for sharing your story and your approach. :) Neat idea!

  44. Catherine
    August 17, 2013 at 10:41 am #

    Great post! :) I recently achieved one full year (yay!) of wearing only skirts every day. I now have nightmares of being seen in pants. :D

    My bicycling skirt is a flowing wrap skirt of a safe length I twist around at my waist so the open part of the skirt is at the rear. When sitting on the seat, the fabric drapes over on either side and looks very pretty.

    • peacefulwife
      August 17, 2013 at 2:22 pm #

      Catherine,

      Thank you for sharing! That is really neat about the skirt you found to ride your bicycle in. :)

      • Catherine
        August 17, 2013 at 5:13 pm #

        :)

        I forgot to mention, standard bicycle shorts/leggings are worn under the skirt. :D

  45. kimberly
    October 22, 2013 at 8:38 am #

    I Have Been Thinking About From A { Different View } Since Three Weeks Ago . . .

    { Women Do Wear Pants In Church , Now – I Have Noticed } However , I Never Have Nor Believe I Ever Would , Nor My Daughters . }

    I Believe For Me , It Is Because It Is How I Was Raised , Therefore It Is Grounded In Me .

    {Because It Is The House Of God }

    Now About Going From Pants To Dresses In Ones Daily Life . . There Has To Be A Reason , Why Some Women Feel Conviction , Or Change Their Dress Differences.

    My Mamma Was That Way ! I Have Never Seen Her In Pants , ALWAYS Dresses / Skirts , Until She Moved To North Georgia .

    Shocked Me To See Her Like That For The First Time , And She Said . . “Well Kim , You Try Working In The Garden , On The Farm , etc With A Dress On”

    I Didn’t Blame Her Or Anything . . Was Just A Shock ! LOL . . Was Funny How She Responded !

    { I Haven’t Fully Read This Blog As Of Yet , But I Knew You Had One }{Wanted To Post What I Have Been Pondering On ,And Give My Personal Thoughts . . . I Normally Don’t Read Responses Back For I Remember From My Past { On Social Pages , It Can Lead To Drama , Which I Don’t Enjoy !!!! ~ NOT Saying That Your Comments Would , But Thats Just How I Deal With , Should I Leave A Comment }

    Thank You So Much !!

  46. Jen S
    October 28, 2013 at 1:17 pm #

    A big huge thank you for your blog. I found you last night and I appreciate so many things you have said about being a respectful, submissive wife! I feel you have answered my prayers to figure out what is wrong in my 15 year old marriage. I just have to mention … you seemed to infer that Mormons are not Christian. WE ARE! We very much believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior and the Son of God. If you have more questions, please find a good Mormon near you to address them. (or me!) Thank you again! –Jen

    • peacefulwife
      October 28, 2013 at 2:27 pm #

      Jen S,

      It is wonderful to meet you! :) This is all stuff I sure wish I knew 19+ years ago before I got married!

      I agree that there are people on the outskirts of the Mormon church who join thinking that it is another Christian denomination. It does look very much like a Christian group. The words that are used are identical to the wording of evangelical Christian beliefs.

      On the fringes, the main thing I think that people might be able to see is that Mormonism promotes that grace is not enough – what Jesus did to pay for our sins cannot satisfy God’s wrath alone. We must “work” our way up to grace. Which of course, is “works-based salvation” – that Paul preached so adamantly against in half of the New Testament.

      It can be confusing – because Christianity’s message is that people are wretched sinners without any hope of having a relationship with Christ apart from His death and sacrifice . We accept His free gift of salvation and eternal life by faith in His grace for us. We do nothing to merit His grace. It is all about what He did for us. THEN -because of our faith in Him and out of gratitude toward Him and because of His Spirit working in us – we begin to grow in our faith and He empowers us to do good works for His glory. But we do not do good works to earn salvation.

      Then – once people get into the more secret teachings – it becomes more clear that it is not the same God or the same Jesus that the Mormon church is talking about and many of the words that sound identical to the words CHristians use do not mean the same thing at all.

      Of course, those who are temple worthy are not permitted to talk about what is taught there.

      But the idea, from what I understand, is that God was a sinful man and he and his wife worked their way up to be gods of this planet. And you can work your way up to become a god of your own planet along with your spouse if you are temple worthy and have a celestial marriage and you do all the things that you are required to do. So there are really thousands of gods.

      THat is NOT the same God of the Bible. In the BIble in Christianity – there is ONE God. He is holy. He always was God and He always was holy. It would be blasphemy to talk about God being a sinful man in the past. That is not at all what the Bible teaches.

      Of course- it would take a VERY long discussion to get into all the details. But that is a very brief summary of my understanding.

      You are welcome here! :)

      Much love to you!

  47. Jen S
    November 4, 2013 at 7:30 pm #

    Can’t begin to tell you how much your comment hurt. I feel that you have twisted some of my church’s beliefs to suit yourself, using your blog to publicly bash Mormons. I can take issue with many things you said, but will just choose the most important one. I don’t ask you to believe as I do, just to open your mind to the possibility that we are TRUE Christians, doing our best — as you are — to be faithful and obedient to what we believe. Please read: http://publications.maxwellinstitute.byu.edu/fullscreen/?pub=1090&index=6&keyword=becoming gods

    • peacefulwife
      November 4, 2013 at 9:52 pm #

      Jen S,
      I don’t want to hurt you at all! I am glad you are able to share with me how you feel about what I said. This is my understanding of what Mormons believe and teach. I have done a good bit of study on the subject because I have a number of very close friends who are Mormons. If I am incorrect, you are welcome to share what you believe and correct me. I am not attempting to twist anything. My greatest desire is to exalt the God of the Bible and His Word alone. If there is a group who is teaching something that is contrary to the Bible or adding many things to the Bible – I must stand by the Bible as the only source of absolute truth.

      As I had said, I have no doubt that there are some in the Mormon church who are Christians.

      Thank you so much for the link. I am looking forward to reading it.

      • peacefulwife
        November 4, 2013 at 10:06 pm #

        Jen S,

        The Bible does not teach that people become gods. The Bible teaches over and over that there is only One God. There is One Creator. He alone is God, there is no other. (quoted many times in Isaiah and Jeremiah and Psalms). Jesus and the Father are One.

        We can be one in Spirit with them. We can be united in Spirit by God’s Spirit living in us. That is how the Bible says we can be made to be LIKE Christ. We can be part of His bride – the church. But we are not going to be gods.

        The only one who did attempt to raise himself to be equal to God was Lucifer. That was his sin – he wanted to be equal to God.

        I very much appreciate you sharing the link with me. Thank you. :)

        I am always glad to talk about any issues with you. I am happy to listen to everything you have to say. You are important to me. Your feelings and ideas matter to me. I care about your soul and about your eternal destiny. I care very much about your relationship with Christ and about your life here as well.

        I am only going to be able to support and endorse what the Bible supports as truth. I realize we may not agree. But I do not view you as an enemy, but as someone very dear to God, someone for whom Christ died. It is my prayer that you may find and live in God’s truth. :) I appreciate your willingness to talk with me about some difficult issues. Thank you for your comments. :)

  48. virginia
    January 22, 2014 at 9:56 am #

    I am so thankful for your ministry blog. It encourages me to live for Christ.
    : )
    virginia

    • peacefulwife
      January 22, 2014 at 10:19 am #

      Virginia,

      I’m so glad to hear that! Thank you for sharing. :) That is a big answer to prayer.

  49. Susan
    March 1, 2014 at 4:19 pm #

    As yet another one of the hundreds of people commenting on your writings, I have to say thank you… SO MUCH for this ministry, that you and your husband followed God’s calling, and that I am hearing His voice to push harder for change in my marriage. My husband and I have talked many times about modest clothing and I have long believed I am a rather modest dresser. But that you decided to wear only skirts reassures me of other choices my husband and I have made to “go deeper”. I am mentally scanning my wardrobe, knowing of my quiet desire for feeling physically attractive in those items. Thank you, Spirit, for speaking to me.

    Actually, I found your blog because I am sitting here feeling tense that my husband is out at a Christian friend’s birthday dinner (men only), and I know he’s drinking. But I know he’s not getting drunk, and so I sat here praying and asking God to tell me why I am so upset whenever he drinks. I know I have been really controlling in the past about any little thing he does, even though some things have been more serious and painful addictions through the years, but THIS… this living in fear and then being bitter and tearing him down because he had three drinks with some good guys… I know something is wrong in my heart. So along with the radical step toward modesty, which I am taking to heart, I am so so pleased to read about your inward focus of being a radically respectful wife in a world of fear and dominance. Thank you for sharing your path of giving your husband into God’s care, giving yourself into Jesus’ embrace, and choosing respect in stark contrast to your natural tendencies. What a glorious story!

    • peacefulwife
      March 2, 2014 at 9:01 am #

      Susan,
      I am so pleased to meet you! I am excited about what God is doing in your heart!!! There are many posts here that I believe will bless you on this journey. I hope to hear from you often and pray fur God’s greatest glory in your life and marriage!!! :)

  50. Malloy
    March 3, 2014 at 12:42 am #

    What makes skirts the only “feminine” article of clothing a woman can wear? We have men’s socks and women’s socks. We have men’s shoes and women’s shoes. We have men’s shirts and women’s shirts. Yet, pants vs. skirts is the only area where there is any controversy.

  51. Peter Harlow
    March 21, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

    how to deal with loneness from spouse and wanting to cross dress I need help with theist feeling. Petra

    • peacefulwife
      March 22, 2014 at 2:25 pm #

      Peter,
      Goodness, it sounds like you are having such a tough time.

      What is your relationship with Christ?

      Why are you feeling lonely in your marriage?

      Have you suffered abuse previously?

      Are you dealing with any addictions or mental health disorders?

      What do you believe you need to be happy?

      What is your primary purpose in life?

      In Him,
      April

  52. Nicole
    April 10, 2014 at 5:55 pm #

    I am not a Christian, nor do I have any desire to be, but I still really enjoyed your article, as I am at a crossroads in my life. I enjoy being a very feminine woman, but I am trying to be more modest with my clothing choices. As a woman with a large bust, I have never liked the negative attention that it has gotten me, and no matter what I wear, the girls are very pronounced. I do not like that many attractive clothing options are too sexual, having deep necklines. I really enjoyed the fact that you provided lots of links to help me find skirts and dresses. Thank you.

    • peacefulwife
      April 10, 2014 at 6:04 pm #

      Nicole,
      I’m glad the article was helpful for you. I can definitely sympathize with the many challenges of finding modest clothing today! You are always welcome here. :) Thanks for introducing yourself.

  53. Sarah
    April 18, 2014 at 8:51 am #

    Awesome post. I love how you broke that down! I have been wearing skirts/dresses daily now for about 6 years. I have a question. .. I too wear leggings/tights when working out, which seems to be often these days. I have never really thought much of it but for some reason I have started feeling…. well I guess the word is convicted about it. I do feel like they are too revealing, too tight etc. I have seen the ones that come with skirts attached but they are out of my price range right now. I wanted to know what types you wear and how you feel about it. :) Thanks, Sarah

    • peacefulwife
      April 18, 2014 at 8:57 am #

      Sarah,
      Yes, there are running skirts. But they are out of my budget right now, too. I would rather wear skirts when I exercise and feel a bit self conscious now in pants. But when I run, which is about 5-6 days per week, I wear yoga pants or running pants. Not ideal. But my husband is fine with it and I try to wear running pants that are not too snug in the hips if possible.

  54. Rita
    April 18, 2014 at 9:17 am #

    Thank you for sharing. I really enjoy your blog! what do you suggest to women (like myself) who work in a hot dirty warehouse? I can’t wear skirts, I am using ladders and sometimes drive equipment where harnesses are a must.I wear jeans and tees and in the summer it is very hot I wear shorts and capris. Not short shorts. I really wish it were possible to wear skirts everyday! I would truly love that! I want so much to honor God in all I do! Please pray for me I would like to be able to escape the environment of which I work, not just because of the way I have to dress..but also because it is so full of sinful behavior. Thank you in advance. God bless you! You are truly an inspiration to me!

    • peacefulwife
      April 18, 2014 at 9:34 am #

      Rita,
      There are some places where it is not safe or practical to wear skirts. I suggest praying about it, sharing your desires with God and asking Him for wisdom and asking your husband about his thoughts.

      You may be able to wear skirts other places, just not at work, if you would like to. :)

  55. revolutionarywives
    April 18, 2014 at 11:13 am #

    This post was so great and such an encouragement! I made the shift to skirts earlier this year. I still wear house pants at home, but when my husband and I go out, even if it’s just for frozen yogurt or something I put a skirt on. At first it was more for comfort, but then God really started to speak to me about it and my husband loved it. He loves every time I am either in a skirt or put one on before we go somewhere. He says he loves the feminine quality. How you pointed out the feminine aspect was something I loved so much about both of these articles! There are some things I still need to get rid of in my closet, skirts that might me to close fitting or some pants I was hanging on to “just in case” but now I think I can fully let them go! Thank you so much for this post!

    • peacefulwife
      April 18, 2014 at 2:42 pm #

      Revolutionary wives,
      I have been wearing skirts daily for 5 years now, I guess. And I still love it! I was a tomboy growing up and hated wearing dresses and skirts. But I have enjoyed embracing my femininity so much these past few years. I am glad you enjoyed this post. :)

      Thanks for sharing your story and the impact on your marriage, too!

  56. Devoted
    April 23, 2014 at 1:01 am #

    I just read the first comment and coming from a reformed background, most women only wore skirts. We as girls had a common joke about being easier accessible for indecent attacks.
    We always said it easier to run lifting your skirt than an attacker with its pants down, so it’s more secure. That’s when we were teens. Luckily I never had to put it to the test.

    • peacefulwife
      April 23, 2014 at 7:53 am #

      Devoted,
      Yikes! Well, I am VERY thankful you never had to test that theory!! :)

  57. Michelle
    May 1, 2014 at 10:35 am #

    April are you on facebook ? I jus got it back when my granddaughter was born. So was going to add you if you had it

  58. Emily C
    May 2, 2014 at 10:33 am #

    So, it’s just been on my heart to tell you how I made this change in my wardrobe. It’s not a full change but I’ve started… The seed was planted when you originally posted these a couple years ago. Recently I decided (based on a Pinterest pin) :-) to go through my wardrobe and get rid of everything that I didn’t want to wear. I didn’t realize I had so many clothes that I passed by for whatever reason because I just didn’t want to wear them anymore! And then I had a baby and have had a really hard time losing my post pregnancy pounds.

    Last week I ripped my last pair of shorts that actually fit me :-( so I needed to go get something that would fit… And I am actively trying to lose the weight so I didn’t want to buy a bunch of things that hopefully won’t fit me in a couple months. I decided to buy a long maxi skirt. AND I LOVE IT! in fact, I love it so much that I wanted to wear it almost every day which was just not practical. So I went yesterday and bought a couple more. They are solid but since my lower section is bigger, solids hide that better :-) then I wear printed tops. I feel so pretty and feminine and my husband has even complimented how nice I look in them! I asked him recently if he liked me wearing skirts and he said yes. They actually flatter my body so much better than a good pair of jeans, they are more forgiving, and they really won’t show my weight fluctuation. And they won’t rip :-)

    It’s so funny to me – I never thought I would be “skirt girl”. I was always jeans, T-shirts, and flannels when I was younger and have really struggled to find a style as I’ve gotten older and out of the workforce. I LOVE you style and definitely get the complements too. I know they say as you are losing weight that it’s important to love the body you have even while you want to change it. Wearing skirts is helping me to love the body I have!

    Thank you so much for this post!

    • peacefulwife
      May 2, 2014 at 2:07 pm #

      Emily C,
      I’m so glad that you are enjoying skirts. :) I know I do. It was a shock to me, too.

  59. susan barackman
    May 20, 2014 at 5:28 pm #

    I do not wear dresses/skirts, have not for years, never liked them and was never comfortable in them…besides, I ride horses, ride bikes and do all sorts of physical things that dresses and skirts would just be in the way of or even dangerous. And I am an artist, have too many cats, and barely keep house. And can you believe, I am a Christian and been married to one man since 1975. No kids either, I worked outside the home as a teacher. For years I thought I was sinning, since our church taught what Gothard espoused and other legalistic views about what “God’s perfect will” for a female was…without doing into a lot of detail, it was God that told me, yes God told me—– that He made me like I am, , my personality, love of animals, artistic bent and even my warts. God does not make cookie cutter Christians. How many Davids, Adams, Eves, Moseses, Timothys, Pauls, etc were there in the Bible? Just one of each. When God’s people begin to look like clones, I get a little wary of who they are really following. I bet you might not even print this comment since it does not line up with what you believe.

    • peacefulwife
      May 20, 2014 at 6:12 pm #

      Susan,

      I am happy to print your comment! There are many different ways of living for God. I don’t tell women they must dress a certain way. I talk about that this is a personal issue between a woman, God and possibly her husband, as well.

      May God richly bless your walk with Christ for His greatest glory. :) thank you for sharing. You are welcome here.

  60. Jessica
    June 6, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

    April,

    God has begun to completely transform my heart and show me how some of the characteristics in my personality are actually very masculine and how much i have embraced the world and allowed it to conform me into its image but as God is renewing my mind Hes putting his finger on certain things. Recently i have felt Him lead me into wearing only skirts and dresses. After reading about the agenda behind the feminist movement I just couldnt shake that God was calling me to remove pants from my wardrobe. I kind of find it similar to when the Lord began to teach me what it really means to respect and submit to my husband and i would share it with other women in excitement to what He was teaching me only to be met with criticism. Did you notice anything similar when you made this change. People saying you were extreme or legalistic? I cant say what God is saying to other women i just know Hes telling me to make this change, i know tons of women that walk closely with the Lord and dont share “my” convictions and have felt like an odd ball. Did you experience anything like this?

    • peacefulwife
      June 6, 2014 at 9:02 pm #

      Jessica,

      I am really excited that you are seeking to honor Christ and want to allow Him to change anything He wants to in your life. I know that changing my dress dramatically altered my attitude and was a big part of my journey as I sought to become a godly wife.

      I was like you, and tried to excitedly share all that God was showing me about godly femininity and being a godly wife and respect and biblical submission. Most women are not going to respond with excitement about these things, even in the church. And most women have never had a strong and positive example of a wife living out God’s design for marriage.

      Yes, there have been people who have told me I am legalistic to wear skirts every day. But here is the thing. I know that I am only seeking to honor and please Christ now. I don’t really have to be concerned about what other people think. I don’t want to put a stumbling block in anyone’s way. I want to show the love of Christ to everyone. But, most people will not understand this journey, even in the church in our culture. I just do what I believe I can do to most honor God, my husband and my femininity. If women want to talk with me, I am happy to answer their questions. I know my motives. I know I am not trying to earn God’s approval by my dress, but rather I am enjoying and cherishing my femininity. So, I am content and fulfilled in Christ and can remain unshaken even when others make wrong assumptions about me.

      You may want to check out the post “do not expect outside support” – you can search for it on my home page in the search bar.

      Sending you a huge hug my precious sister!!! You are welcome here. :)

  61. Michelle
    July 13, 2014 at 5:18 pm #

    Hello April. Ive loved getting to know you and really enjoy reading your posts on FB and on here. I do have a question for ya. You wear skirts daily, but i see in pics of your daughter that shes in shorts etc.. Was just curious why shes not in skirts only as well.

    • peacefulwife
      July 23, 2014 at 8:19 pm #

      Michelle,

      I would love for our daughter to wear skirts daily, too. She did for a long time. But once she got into school and had recess every day, the long dresses didn’t work anymore. Greg buys most of her clothes. Greg does not completely share my convictions about women wearing skirts/dresses all the time. So I am not forcing skirts/dresses on her. We do talk about modesty. We will be talking more and more about that as she gets older. So, I am honoring Greg’s leadership in this area.

      Much love!
      April

    • peacefulwife
      July 24, 2014 at 1:28 pm #

      PS – Michelle,

      Greg is fine with me wearing skirts all the time. He just doesn’t feel it is necessary to pressure or force our daughter into skirts/dresses all the time. I hope that makes sense!

  62. l.
    July 24, 2014 at 5:05 pm #

    I went through this whole thing years ago …feeling convicted, trying to change what I was wearing even for a few months at a time … and frankly, the fact that it’s always cold in our house, and I didn’t want to wear tights all the time …problem finding comfortable shoes for daily life ….working around the house, getting in and out of our big vehicle … lack of interest or support from my H … not wanting to be thought of as any weirder than I already was for homeschooling in our tiny, tiny town , etc. I quit. Also, no one is looking at me so that’s not an issue. I wear loose fitting jeans and plain button down shirts. I just bought some longer button down tunic type things for greater coverage.

    I do admire you and the Duggar girls and others who’ve embraced this way of dressing … and it seems to add something nice to your/their lives.

    It just doesn’t work for me and the life I am living.

    • peacefulwife
      July 24, 2014 at 8:16 pm #

      I.,

      Thank you for sharing your story! I completely understand why you decided to stop. This is certainly a decision each woman must make for herself, between her and god – but also involving her husband. I appreciate your perspective. :)

  63. queila
    August 7, 2014 at 6:43 pm #

    Hello love all your ideas for wearing skirts. Just wanted to share one more web page that has skirts dresses with no slits as well ….
    God bless ,
    Queila
    http://www.dreaminginpinkboutique.com

  64. deepti
    September 20, 2014 at 8:57 am #

    I guess the skirts are one of the outfits that could be worn with all the modesty and decency.Btw Nice article :)

  65. John
    October 17, 2014 at 5:59 am #

    Hello April. As a teenage guy, I really appreciate your focus on modesty. Many girls dress immodestly to be attractive, but in fact for me, the girls I’m attracted to are humble and modest, wear their hair long and avoid pants when possible. I wish all girls and women would dress and act like you do. Have you considered making some videos aimed at young people? I definitely know some people who could benefit.

    • Peacefulwife
      October 19, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

      John,
      Thank you for sharing your heart on this issue! I believe a lot of men feel the same way you do.

      I have a YouTube channel, “April Cassidy” and I have some videos on modesty and similar issues.

      Thanks so much for your comments!

      • John
        October 19, 2014 at 7:53 pm #

        Hi,

        Yes, I have seen your YouTube channel, it is actually what led me to this site.

        I used to know some girls that I was trying to convince to go skirt-only and cover their hair… I was not able to convince them sadly but I feel like you could, which is why a series aimed at young people would be so crucial at teaching modesty. Maybe you could do a here’s what’s in my wardrobe video, showing your skirts and head coverings and stuff and explain to girls that you can still be fashionable while dressing modestly and feminine like God wants.

        And, if there are men who think like me, I have not meet think. Many of my friends, even my Christian ones, would probably think I’m strange or cult-ish if I told them what I really believe, so I don’t know what to do. :)

        • Peacefulwife
          October 20, 2014 at 9:42 am #

          John,
          I have actually met quite a few men of all ages who think like you do and who value modesty and cherish modesty as being beautiful. No, you are probably not the “norm.” But, men who are seeking to love and serve and honor Christ tend to feel this way – and that is a beautiful thing!

          That’s a good idea about the video. Thank you for the great suggestion!

          My prayer for you is that you might continue to seek Christ with all your heart and that He might empower you to be faithful to Him no matter what anyone else is or is not doing.

          In the love of Christ, my brother!
          April

          • Peacefulwife
            October 21, 2014 at 10:46 am #

            John,

            Here you go! I hope this might be helpful. :)

            • John Eagleson
              October 24, 2014 at 6:23 pm #

              It’s great, thanks for taking my suggestion!

              Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 14:46:38 +0000 To: guyoffive@hotmail.com

  66. peacefulwife
    March 2, 2013 at 6:52 am #

    She is welcome to contact me! :) aprilc@sc.rr.com

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