Why I Wear Skirts Daily – Part 2
One of my favorite skirts – from Soft Surroundings (very sturdy fabric, perfect for colder weather, and I LOVE the embroidery!)
This is part two in my series about why I personally choose to wear skirts every day. For part one, please read here.
RESPECT
Modest clothing signals to men that I respect myself as a woman, that I respect my body, that I respect my sexuality, that I respect the way men are visually wired and that I respect God – or, that it is at least possible that I respect those things!
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. I Timothy 2:9
Men treat women very differently depending on their clothing. I have noticed that many more men open doors for me since I have changed my wardrobe. And I always make sure to smile graciously and thank them. When men treat us with special care because we are ladies, we need to show some beautiful gratitude!
OK – some ladies need to skip to the next subtitle here, please! You know who you are, precious sisters! 
Immodest clothing broadcasts the message to men that I do NOT respect God, my body, my sexuality, or men – that I plan to use my body to try to have power over them, or that I am sexually available to them. Yes, you read that right. A man’s brain is wired so that the clothing a woman wears tells him a great deal about how sexually available that woman is to him regardless of his intentions and regardless of her intentions. That is why prostitutes dress to advertise their bodies. IT WORKS!
I know that sometimes we are not intentionally immodest, but when we bend over or kneel down to take care of our children, things can be seen that ought not to be seen. And here’s the deal. Whether it is intentional or not, immodesty causes problems for many men. That is why I think it is important to choose clothing that won’t have “wardrobe malfunctions.” We will have to bend over or lean over or kneel down sometimes, so we need to be sure that we are being modest even then.
Immodesty can actually trigger some men to look at women as objects to be used. There was a study at Princeton in 2008 that did brain scans of about 20 young men while they looked at pictures of modestly dressed women vs women in bikinis. And some men, not all, but for some – the area of the brain that would be active when looking at the pictures of women in bikinis was the part of the brain that is for “tools” – things to be used, objects. For these particular men, the frontal lobe of the brain did not immediately activate with the bikini-clad women – the part of the brain that acknowledges that the image is a person with thoughts and feelings. Now, this initial brain reaction IS overridable by men. A guy can stop his thought processes and consciously recognize that he is looking at a human being with thoughts and feelings. But I don’t see the point in purposely making things more tempting and difficult for the men around us – especially if we belong to Christ! Men in our culture are bombarded with sensual images and immodestly dressed women all the time. We can be an oasis of relief for them. AND when we dress modestly, we draw attention to our faces, our thoughts and feelings and our love for Christ instead of drawing attention to our bodies.
Whatever we use to attract men is what will keep them with us.
Godly men want women they can respect. They want women who dress so that other men aren’t ogling them. Our clothing is a billboard to the world that communicates a great deal about our level of respect for so many important areas of our lives! Our clothing, demeanor, behavior, attitudes and words are a reflection on our husbands – so we do need to look our best, feminine, attractive and beautiful – but not seductive in public. And our clothing, our behavior, our words and our attitudes are also a reflection on Christ. I pray we might choose our clothing wisely and find things that honor God and our husbands!
ROMANCE
My little girl started watching PRINCESS movies around the same time I was studying about godly femininity. And it hit me – if Cinderella, Rapunzel or Aurora was wearing jeans and a t-shirt – it just wouldn’t be the same! Clothes obviously don’t make the person. The person is much more important than the clothing. But clothes do project a lot about our identity and priorities and about how feminine we are – to ourselves, to our husbands and to others. We have to wear SOMETHING! So – maybe it could be fun to wear beautiful things!
PRACTICAL STUFF
I really love choosing colorful, beautiful skirts to wear every day and it hasn’t been that big of a deal to me for the past 3.5 years not to wear pants/jeans anymore. Some women are afraid to suddenly change their wardrobe – they think people will ask a lot of questions. I guess it helped that I made my sudden change the week I started a new job. At my old job, we had to wear khaki pants and a red shirt EVERY DAY – so after 3 years of that, I was more than ready to try some feminine, colorful skirts for a change!
A few women have asked me about why I wear skirts all the time. Sometimes I just give a short answer, “I love skirts.” If they really seem interested, I may go into some of the reasons behind my choices. I have NEVER had a man ask me why I always wear skirts. I thought that was pretty interesting. Most of the time, people just say, “Oh! I LOVE your skirt!”
I wear sandals or flip flops in the summer and boots in the winter. I always wear a slip if the skirt is not completely opaque. I kept my jeans and khaki pants for about a year – and then realized, I don’t need them! I do wear yoga pants when I run. But other than that, and some pajama pants sometimes at home, I only wear skirts. I did ask my husband’s permission when I wanted to change my wardrobe and he was ok with it. For the most part, I only wear long skirts. There are a few dresses/skirts that come to my knees that I wear for my husband on special occasions.
There are actually some VERY practical aspects to wearing skirts I had never considered. When I wore jeans, it was a daily battle trying to figure out which pair fit on any given day – or even at different times during the same day – ladies, I know you know what I am talking about here! I love skirts because they are much more forgiving and if you gain or lose a few pounds or have some tummy issues, it doesn’t really matter much. LOVE THAT! And no riding up like with jeans and pants. Love that, too! And, in the summer, you get a lot more ventilation which is important in the south! I used to wear jeans all summer, that was REALLY HOT! I also love that in the winter you can hide all kinds of things under long skirts like leggings, long johns or yoga pants, and if your legs aren’t perfect, it doesn’t matter! No one has to see the spider veins or imperfections. If you do wear long skirts – just be careful going up stairs! You’ll have to hold your skirt up a bit so you don’t trip.
It can be difficult to find long skirts without slits. I had the best success online. A few places I have gotten some of my favorite skirts are Soft Surroundings (but they are a bit pricey – ranging from $75-$120), and several sites for muslim women. Their skirts are always ankle length, lined and no slits and have some beautiful embroidery work. There are also Christian modest clothing sites (www.hannahlise.com), and Jewish and Mormon ones. I often googled “modest long skirts.” And I have also had great results looking at Good Will!
Here are some sites to try. Some are not afiliated with any religious group, some are Christian, others are Muslim, Jewish or LDS. I am not promoting the theology of the non-Christian sites – but just letting you know where you can find some modest clothes if you are interested.
http://www.softsurroundings.com/
diviinemodestee.com/
http://www.shukronline.com/home.html
http://www.newcreationapparel.com/
http://www.eastessence.com/catalog/SKIRT-11-1.html
http://www.livingmodest.com/subcategory_details.asp?ID_subcategory=9 (this is a list of different companies with modest clothing)
http://www.enwrapturevintage.com/36inchsilkwrapkskirt.html (wrap skirts made of vintage clothing. I LOVE these!)
For tops, I usually wear a crew neck t-shirt style solid color top. Button down shirts often gape on me and are sometimes tight around my belly so they just don’t work well for my shape. But I am sure they would work just fine on many figures. Some shell types of blouses with crew neck or jewel necklines work for me, but sometimes they are too sheer. Every woman will have to decide what she likes, what feels beautiful for her sense of style, what fits her budget, what her husband likes and what is modest for her particular figure.
The definition of modesty can vary widely depending on the culture, country and religious view various people have. My main goal is to try to cover my bases so that most men will hopefully not have an issue with temptation when they look at me. To some degree, each individual man who is looking at us has his own threshold of temptation. But since I really can’t interview them all and make sure I’m not causing them to stumble, I am going to do my best to be respectful and modest and then leave the rest up to them and God.
My favorite definition of modesty is “humility in clothing.”
I think it can get dangerous to have strict rules about specific inches and lengths – we can easily become very legalistic about this issue. I don’t think that glorifies God, either. Legalism makes it all about us trying to earn God’s favor – and we can never do that! It’s just not possible. That’s why He gives us His grace. That is a big problem with most of the facets of Christianity – they are about heart issues and wanting to serve and please God – they often can’t really be legislated with a bunch of rules. Modesty is NOT about demanding that other women must wear certain things. Modesty is a gift I give to the men around me and to God out of my reverence and love for Christ.
AM I SAYING ALL WOMEN MUST ALWAYS WEAR SKIRTS OR DRESSES?
Nope!
This was a decision I came to because I believe it brings honor to God, my body and my femininity. I think there are modest, flowing pants that may not present much temptation to men – but the tighter the clothing, the bigger the temptation, and the less fabric, the bigger the temptation. Pants tend to be an issue for many men because – honestly – the eye is drawn to the hips and crotch area with pants. Each woman will have to hammer out the specifics for her wardrobe and style with God and her husband. I don’t judge what other women choose to wear. I just enjoy the freedom and blessings of my choices and savor my femininity every day!
I believe that we as women have to ask ourselves some tough questions
- WHY do I want to wear this outfit?
- Whose attention am I seeking? God’s or men?
- What is my purpose in dressing this way?
- How can I best glorify God and draw attention to Him with my clothing choices?
- Is it possible that my clothing could cause my brothers in Christ to stumble? And if so – how can I act in love to not put a stumbling block in their way?
Lord,
I pray that You might work in our hearts. We live in such an immodest, ungodly culture. We have largely adapted to the ways of the world. Open our eyes to the lives You desire us to live and help us to obey You even when it is hard, even when it is inconvenient, even when it is unpopular or weird. Let us look and act different from the world to bring great glory to You alone!
In the Name and power of Christ,
Amen!
The pink/brown one is from Taqwa Imam, the blue one is from Good Will! The dark green patterned skirt is from Soft Surroundings. The light blue and brown one is from Taqwa Imam, the purple one in the top left is from Israel!
this is a wrap skirt from enwrapturevintage (they are reversible and can be worn many different ways)
this is one of my favorites – from Newport News – very light and flowing viscose fabric
You are an inspiration, April. : ) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on women’s clothing and for showing us your pretty skirts. You are a breath of fresh air in a sadly immodest world.
Hi April, great post as usual. My husband actually prefers me in jeans, but I love skirts and dresses. Time will tell, i guess.
There is a Pastor named Charles Burke, who further discussed scriptural reasons for Biblical dress code and true modesty for Godly women. He wrote an article about it here
http://www.kjv1611.org.uk/Do%20Godly%20women%20wear%20trousers.htm
At first, I was surprised by the intro to the article, but continued reading on, and was quite refreshed by the scriptural foundation he ends up giving with clarity and wisdom. Many people disagree with the scripture point of view on modest dress code (making it either way too free or way too legalistic) I am curious what others think of the topic of dress in the way that Burke discusses and lays out in scripture.
I really loved this post. I wore a skirt yesterday with a T-shirt and I did FEEL more feminine, that’s for sure, but I also felt like I was honoring my husband by NOT showing everything off. I live in a military town, and there are a LOT of single marines who don’t necessarily possess the ideal of Semper Fidelis that the corps promotes… However, I do. My husband and I have a clear understanding of what is and is not acceptable to do/wear in public and people often challenge my opinion, especially concerning modesty and breast feeding… I’m not yet a mother myself, but my views on modesty will extend to ALL areas of my life, including motherhood. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I appreciate the encouragement that comes from reading about someone who is like-minded and who values the concept of covering up out of respect to husband, as well as to avoid being a stumbling block for others. I don’t have a completely re-vamped wardrobe, but I am making changes. Thank you for your encouragement.
Eden,
Thanks for sharing your story! It’s kind of neat to embrace the idea of being feminine – or, it was for me! I am glad that modesty is on your list of priorities. I appreciate your insights and sharing your feelings about your experience yesterday! It’s great to meet you!
Christine,
I appreciate your comment! That is a good point. If your husband HATES skirts, it could be disrespectful to wear them! That is something you can pray about and ask God to give you wisdom. Your hubby may change his mind over time. But your respectful attitude is more important than wearing skirts all the time. Praying for Gid’s blessings on your marriage!
Thank you so very much for sharing your views on dressing modestly. My husband and I, have had a lot of disagreements based on what he would think was too revealing. I can say that my intentions were never to draw attention to myself…the thought of it disgusts me. But, after reading your blogs on dressing modestly, and reading how it has changed your life…I am going to give the dress thing a shot. I have always loved to wear dresses, but am a country girl and have always worn jeans etc. I am going to pray about this, and talk to my husband about your writtings and discussions. I also want to say, Thank You for writing this blog as well. I have been reading your words for the past week, and it has opened my eyes to many things…I found your site on notyourmamasbiblestudy.com
Thank you so much for everything ~ you are an inspiration ~ God Bless you and your words
Kristin
I am sorry, it wasn’t notyourmamasbiblestudy.com – it is notyourmamasbiblestudy.wordpress.com
Kristen,
I am so glad you are thinking about listening to your husband. This will make him feel SO MUCH MORE respected! Let me know how it goes! I am praying for you!
Hello There! I have been reading your site for some time and truly appreciate the things you share.
Thank you for so sweetly, yet Biblically and honestly writing about this sometimes touchy subject.
God bless you,
Andi
Andi,
Thank you so much! I appreciate the encouragement! May God richly bless your marriage and your faith in Him!
I like to ride a bike almost daily, what would be a good idea today wear for that? I have been dressing what I felt was OK now I have been feeling I should be wearing skirts.
Barbara,
There are “running skirts” that come below the knee. I haven’t bought any for myself. I do run, but I wear yoga pants when I run, or jogging pants in the winter. I think on a bike, it could get tricky. Too long of a skirt would be dangerous, too short of a skirt would be less modest than pants. I personally vote for pants. What does your husband think?
Hi Barbara, I’ve just read your comment and this is a bit late but just wanted to say that I ride a bike nearly every day and quite a distance too. I didn’t think at first a skirt would be practical to wear on one but as I had decided to wear a skirt every day it somehow works out fine. I do tend to wear a long, straight, stretchy one rather than a flowing skirt as it has got caught up in the break pad
. I wear either tights or leggings underneath if I have to pull up the skirt a bit. Many years ago, I’m sure women rode bikes with very long skirts and they somehow managed, so all things are possible! Many people ask me how I do it, I think it’s something you can get used to. God bless you,
Alison Joy
Very good and thought-provoking post. Thank you, April. I tend to dress rather modestly anyway as I am large-chested, and unfortunately that means that even t-shirts sometimes feel too revealing unless they are super baggy! But as I sat here thinking about it, I realized I don’t even own a skirt. Not one. I’m going to talk with my husband and get his opinion.
Crissy,
Great idea about talking to your husband about it! His opinion is very important!
Hi April,
Thanks for sharing. This has been thought provoking and really helpful. keep up the good work. I agree that you’re just one big good news to this world full of depravity.
Nana,
Thank you! Anything good in me is definitely a HUGE GOD THING not a me thing!
I just stumbled on your site thank God for that. The Lord is leading me to make clothes for women. The line is simply called ‘Godly Women’. I have liked your page on FB. Hope to see you soon. Godly love,
Kaneng Joanna Botmang -Lucu
Toulouse, FRANCE.
Joanna,
It is wonderful to meet you! Welcome to Peacefulwife! Let me know if you have any questions or concerns. I am looking forward to talking more with you.
I was wondering if I could get your perspective on modesty at the swimming pool. We go to the pool a lot with our toddlers. I get very uncomfortable seeing all the indecent bikinis on most of the females there. My husband is a wonderful and respectful man. When we watch a movie he always looks away if scantily clad women come on. I feel bad for him when we go to the pool and he is surrounded by immodest women. Also, I don’t want my 3 year old daughter thinking that it is okay to wear such revealing clothing. I don’t want to stop going because we have so much fun!
Also, your posts have made me think twice about what I wear to the pool. I only wear one pieces, but all swim suits seem to show leg and at least some cleavage.
What are your thoughts on this? Thank you, and I love your blog.
sarah,
The swimming issue is definitely the most difficult modesty challenge, in my opinion! I have had a lot of help with that myself because the past two years I have become allergic to the sun – so I can’t sit outside in the sun at all, much less in a swimsuit. I have to have my arms, face, neck, chest totally covered or I pay for it later with itchy whelps. Might be kind of a blessing! Before the past two years, we mostly only went swimming at my parents’ house. And I started wearing a big t-shirt over my swimsuit for modesty’s sake and also to help prevent sunburn. I am VERY pale! But I was still uncomfortable even with that, as far as modesty goes. I had thought about getting mens’ swim shorts. But most of the time, I didn’t swim, I let my husband swim with the children and I stayed fully clothed and watched from the side of the pool.
There are long sleeve swim shirts and pants – I have recently discovered that are SPF 50 and allow people with sun allergies, sun sensitivity and who are trying to avoid skin cancer to be in the sun and water. Those could be options.
For me, the option I have used the most was to not swim and not wear a swim suit. But when your children are young, they need mama in the pool with them.
I wish I had a better answer.
Any one else with suggestions is welcome to share!
We get our swimsuits here…and love them!
http://www.wholesomewear.com/culotte-a.html
Hello. I think swimming dresses exist. In those days women used to bathe fully clothed. In Deauville or Biaritz it was the order of the day.
Plesae check out this link on women swimsuits. You might find something interesting or get on tailored for you.
thank you!
Hey peaceful wife! I’m not married but I found your blog through is this modest and I really enjoy it. I didn’t know exactly where to address this question. I have been wearing skirts more and have been attempting to be more feminine in my appearance. I have just started nursing school and I actually ordered a skirt as part of my school uniform. I had the option of pants or a skirt for my uniform. The uniform place messed up my order twice and I never received my skirt. I got pants instead. I feel like it has been on my heart to wear skirts more and I was really looking forward to wearing a skirt as part of my uniform. I feel like I still want to purchase a skirt but some people made it seem like it was unpractical. I know you mentioned that you worked in the health field. What do you think about me going ahead a purchasing a skirt anyway? I know this seems out of place but I wasn’t really sure who I could ask in real life. I’ve been convicted in the area of feminine and modest clothing recently and sometimes I’m not sure what is the best choice.
Maya,
You may also enjoy my blog http://www.peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com.
I’m glad to meet you!
My opinion is that if you want to try wearing the skirt uniform, you could, and if it is too difficult to manage in that, then you could change to the pants if it was a safety issue. Thankfully, scrubs aren’t super tight and not terribly immodest. Not that flattering, either, in my view!
All nurses used to wear skirts years ago.
It’s great to hear from you!
Hello, I pray you are well. I read your article by way of a share on my fb page. Very interesting. I am a muslim myself. But with the globalization, immodesty is rampant everywhere. The phrase that God likes or dislikes something no longer hits home with people. What was wonderful in your article was the fact that the sense of modesty came from within through self realization. It means it is innate with us human beings in general. The more we attune with nature the more we become what we are to become ( i hope that makes sense). I also cover myself- It is a choice i made but am sad when people pass general statements which suggest that I am oppressed or do not have any say etc etc. I wear a veil because I believe that is modesty. I also went through a lot of soul searching before i arrived at my decision. Thank God. Yes people are more respectful and I am a brain with a voice who chooses to remove that clothing in front of men that are related and there are ofcourse no barriers between a husband and wife. Anyhow just wanted to appreciate your sense. May God Guide you towards that which is best in both this life and the next- Ameen.
Naveen,
Thank you for your kind and gracious comments! It’s wonderful to “meet” you! I LOVE the freedom of modesty and the beauty of modest femininity. It is definitely not oppressive to me at all – but rather, liberating. I am so glad to hear from you. May God richly bless you. You’re always welcome here.
Interesting post here, Peaceful wife. I stumbled on your blog from a friends. You may wish to read my post about indecent dressing on my blog:http://bit.ly/XB87Vo. When it comes to matters of dressing, what is on the inside always reflects outside. One can still look feminine in pants, because there are pants for women, and pants for men. In the part of Nigeria where I come from, Akwa Ibom State, both men and women tie wrappers on their waist, as a form of dressing, but what differs is the way it is done. A woman wears hers, differently from the man’s. Of course, if one’s husband is not comfortable to see one in pants, then honor him and desist; but if he does not mind, then one should not feel guilty about wearing pants because, it is not a sin to do so. Once you lift up your dressing standards to the mirror of God’s word, and the Holy Spirit convicts you about what you are putting on, then you are home and dry. God’s word, as ministered to us by His Spirit is our standard for all that we do.
Unyime-Ivy King,
Thanks for your comments! I love hearing about dressing in Nigeria.
There are definitely feminine pants. I don’t think that I would ever say “it is a sin for women to wear pants.” There are pants that are modest, and some husbands prefer pants or slacks.
I listed the reasons that I chose to wear skirts. But there is not one specific dress code for all Christian women. I believe each woman must arrive at her own convictions with the guidance of her husband.
It is primarily our heart attitude of humility in our dress and our desire not to be a stumbling block to our Christian brothers that is the main thing.
Great comments! Thank you so much!
I know this is so late, but I wanted to mention that active type shorts or rash guards can make good swimming costumes. Although I don’t have a problem with typical swim tops (tankini) I do like keeping my lower half covered, and some form of water shorts is really good for that without looking super frumpy. If you pair your swim top and shorts with a rash guard or cover-up you’ve got a “normal” swimsuit that’s still modest. (I like feeling “normal” because I think standing out can also draw attention to oneself and therefore doesn’t feel as modest to me.)
great ideas! Thanks so much for sharing, Natalie!
Hi there! Loved these posts about feminitiy/modesty in dress. I’m a newlywed of 2 years and I’ve done similar things with my wardrobe. I wear more skirts (though not all the time) and I’ve started wearing jewelry. When I was single, I could care less about whether I had jewelry to go with my “outfits” (if you can even call jeans & a tee-shirt and outfit). But my husband likes to buy me jewelry and he loves it when I wear it. I think it makes me more attractive to him and I love honoring him this way. It’s become a priority to me to “accesorize” now. Who knew that wearing jewelry could be part of a God-honoring marriage??
Tricia,
That is beautiful!
He loves to see that you enjoy and appreciate the jewelry he bought you. That is so honoring to him and makes him feel like he can please you and make you happy. I love your story! Thank you so much for sharing.
Honestly, I never wear skirts, and will never wear them daily. I feel very uncomfortable in skirts, dresses, etc, for three reasons. Cold, the fact that you have to wear hose and fancy shoes, and the fact is that if you’re sensitive to cold and fabric brushing against you, sensitive to touch, it can actually be very uncomfortable.
I take into account modesty in dressing, I wear long pants, blouses that don’t reveal a lot too. It’s more about personal choice.
I don’t hold hands with guys, it’s an emotional connection point that I’ve been convicted of over the course of a relationship. I don’t kiss guys, and won’t until a marriage bound relationship.
I never wore them daily either until I was 37 years old! I hated fancy shoes – uncomfortable. And I definitely hate hose!
That is why I love wearing long skirts- no hose necessary. And I can wear leggings or yoga pants under them when it’s cold. And I found some comfy boots for winter, I can even wear white cotton socks under them which is much better for my feet. So, I don’t have to sacrifice comfort or warmth at all.
But what you wear is a decision between you and God. There are beautiful classy pants. I don’t see the Bible place rules on us about exactly what to wear. It’s more an attitude of the heart and desiring to please and honor God. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your ideas very much!
There’s a difference between dressing like a hooker and dressing CLASSY… I love classy. I like jewelry, the right kind, not costume stuff. I don’t usually wear jewelry for the same touch sensitivity… every jewelry piece is ITCHY…
I don’t think it’s proper to be scratching under a necklace while the pastor tries to preach… LOL…
HA! Probably not!
There are many beautiful styles to choose from that are feminine and modest. I’m glad we dont’ all have to be the same and that there are so many wonderful choices!
Honestly, a lot of my personal clothing choices, when it comes down to it, I have a few nice blouse types. I like wearing one in particular, as the neckline is versatile, but I have to have a shirt that comes right up to my neck/shoulder. Mostly, I wear t-shirts because my upper chest/below my neck, usually gets cold, a lot. So I like warmth… I think that’s more modest than most women, though it’s odd to wear t-shirts instead of dressy stuff, but I do occassionally dress nice for interviews and church.
I am allergic to the sun now – so I have to wear long sleeves in summer. And because of my shape – a very small chest and bigger belly – button down blouses don’t work, so t-shirt type shirts are modest with the neckline and more forgiving of my shape – so I end up going with that a lot even thought I would love to wear dressier blouses. It’s hard to find XS blouses – and when I do, they gape on my chest. Not good. Going clothes shopping is one of my least favorite things to do. But I love to dress femininely. What I need is my own seamstress!
Sent from my iPad
Being a size 2x, I tend to have difficulty finding fun nice clothes other than older women styles… Blah… But I am losing weight, and honestly, I received a compliment from a guy friend this week that really inspired me to be better as a person, and better in organization/clean my car… He told me I was a blessing to his life as a Christian, I was also told by my best friend’s mother that I remind her of my best friend. Both of these gave me a lot of confience in that my faith IS impacting people for Christ. I truly thought I was not even having that impact. The Holy Spirit revealed it exactly when He wanted to. I do love beauty and being joyful in Christ, and I guess it’s a good time to show it.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Be Blessed!
That is awesome! Jesus can definitely shine through you and it is your beautiful, gentle, peaceful spirit that trust Him and does not give way to fear that is so precious to Him. So many blessings for you this week. Thank you for sharing! May God richly bless your walk with Him!
Let me know how you are doing!
I only wear skirts and dresses, in the winter I have a selections of wool skirts which I wear with boots, In the summer the fabric selection vary but always natural fabric that allows my skin to breathe . There is no particular reason why I don’t wear trousers, I simply prefer skirts and dresses,
I no long have a partner, so wearing skirts is not to please someone else but me, yes they are piratical and they hide those extra flesh that we don’t really want to see, but is so obvious in trousers.
I love that I can have a selection of colours and prints, short and long, each day a different look, can you imagine if this was trousers, in a bold floral print.
As my age increases so does my waistline, which does not match my hips, so being able to make my own allows me to adjust the skirts according to my shape
I would recommend seeking out a dressmaker and having one made if you have never tried a skirt.
You can check out some of my skirts here
http://www.cheekyrosestudio.com/skirts1.html
and what I have made for others here
http://www.cheekyrosestudio.com/skirts.html
Thanks, Rose!
Wow this was so amazing to read, i just came across the blog yesterday and i have already been soooo blessed by what i have read.
Thanks for the encouragement, CHelsea! Much love to you!!!!
Also i want to just say thank you peacefulwife for giving me a knew perspective on dressing modestly and femeninly, i also absolutely love that definition of modesty – humility in clothing – i really think that humility is such a big part of it!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Isn’t it beautiful!! I LOVE cherishing my femininity now!
I so appreciate this post on modesty. While I am not married, modesty is something which my mom really instilled in my sister and I while growing up. When we were littl (14 and younger), out mom had much say in what we wore. At 15, she told us she trusted us to make wise decisions. My personal decisions were:
(1). Nothing too tight.
(2) No shorts (except for sleeping during summer and under skirts). I do wear capri-pants occasionally, but not often.
(3). No sleeveless shirts. Something else about shirts that I try to be cautious of is shirts that have pictures or words right across the bust line. I don’t want someone trying to read words right there!!!
Typically, I wear loose pants. I’m not crazy on jeans (comfort-wise) unless I’m doing especially rough outside work. Usually, I wear loose, semi-thick knit or cotton pants.
I like long skirts and enjoy wearing them a couple times a week. I don’t feel my pants are immodest, so whether I wear loose, nice pants or a skirt just depends on what I’m doing.
I do have a question for you. Since I am a very large person, I have to wear something under my skirts due to … uncomfortable issues from skin rubbing on skin. Usually, I wear light-weight basketball shorts under, but I have issues with the shorts causing the skirt to bunch up. In your experience, what is the best thing to wear under skirts. Also, when it is cold outside, what is the best thing to wear under the skirts?
Again, I REALLY enjoyed your post. This is an important area, especially for Christians/Believers who are ambassadors of Christ. Thanks for the encouragement.
Rebekah,
It is wonderful to meet you!
How refreshing to hear about a mama teaching her daughters the blessings of modesty. Love it!
I like to wear yoga pants under my long skirts when it is cold. If it is REALLY cold, you could do thermal underwear and yoga pants under the skirts. Then I tuck the pants into my boots.
As a pharmacist, I want to be sure I don’t have you wearing things that retain moisture – because if you are prone to external yeast infections, that can be an issue. But if you don’t have issues with that, you could use biker shorts underneath. If that holds too much moisture, then you could wear capri yoga pants or workout pants that are capris – if you are wearing long skirts.
What do you think?
You are so very welcome! Thanks for the comments!
II’ve never had any kind of yeast infection (that I know of), and I don’t think I’m sensitive to any kinds of fabric. My issue is that I get hot super easily (hot skin rubbing against hot skin = dry, irritable, itchy skin). That’s why I’ve mostly worn basketball shorts since they provide a shield between the skin but also allow “breathe-ability.” I will definitely check out yoga pants or yoga capri pants. Thanks!
I think they should be breathable and prevent the chaffing.
. May God richly bless your walk with Him!
Peacefulwife.com
I always wear wool in the winter and they are all lined, which stops it riding up or bunching between the legs. How about thermal underwear under the skirt, keeps you warm also.
Great ideas, Rose! Thanks!
hello April, came across your website a week ago and have been loving it. Am in Zimbabwe and have been married for 7yrs. My husband buys my clothes and he prefers jeans so u i wear those everyday. He says he rather see ne wearing them rather than be tempted by other women out there! does it meab im less holy than a woman in skirts cause i do consider myself a good christian woman even in my jeans! much love
Faith,
I’m so glad you wrote to me!
It’s great to meet you!!!
The Bible does not specifically say that wearing pants/jeans is a sin. There were no such clothing items for women back then!
If your husband prefers to see you wearing jeans – I think it’s great to wear them especially around him.
If you know that other men are having issues with lusting after you – then that could be an issue. Maybe you could wear non-skin-tight pants/jeans in public? And save the tight jeans for when you are with him?
You can ask your husband what he thinks is appropriate and let him know that you want to be sure not to create unnecessary temptation for other men.
thanx so much April your blog is a breath of fresh air, stay blessed!
Thanks, Faith!
Peacefulwife,
I am trying to wear skirts more often to please my husband, but I have three active children and I send a lot of time being active with them outside, plus homemaking, plus gardening in warmer weather.
Have you found that a particular type of skirt works best when your focus is on getting things done — and being modest, of course — rather than just looking nice?
Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!
Lisa,
I often wear skirts when doing housework. The really long ones can be a tripping hazard, so you may want to go more with tea length. I wear yoga pants when I run. Then I wear skirts the rest of the time. If you are in the dirt – you may need to wear gardening clothes. But you can wear a tea length denim skirt, possibly – to handle being on your knees without ruining the skirt. I have seen running skirts advertised. They are close to knee length and have a skort underneath, I think. But I haven’t bought any. They are available online.
Does that help?
LisainVermont,
You may want to have one set of clothing for during the day when you are working and then change into something more beautiful before your husband comes home.
Thanks peaceful wife. I’ve seen those running skirts with capris underneath and I’m thinking about buying one for working out as well as gardening/playing on the playground as they seem to be quite modest while still allowing freedom of movement.
I’m really enjoying your blog by the way. It’s teaching me a lot about how to be a better Christian wife.
LisainVermont,
I am so glad you are finding encouragement here. Let me know how the running skirts work out for you!
I loved your article. Thanks for sharing pics of your skirts, they are pretty. I’ve always worn jeans/pants or capris. ( From childhood on thru my first marriage. i was married to a non religeous man so clothing wasn’t a big deal. i had walked away from God for the time i was with my X so i didnt go by the bible on many things. i thank God daily for helping me get right with him again) My husband asked me to wear skirts when we first were married 12 yrs ago. I didn’t and over time he asked again. Well I finally started to last yr and he loved it !!! I just didn’t feel right. So I kept going back to jeans and I could tell he wasn’t really ok with it. So went back and forth for a while. He really loves skirts. I kept asking him why ?? He told me he likes women to wear skirts/dresses because it is more modest and he feels she is a godly woman if wearing them. So I gave in and wear skirts. My two oldest boys ( 22 & 15) think its weird seeing mom in skirts after all the yrs in jeans. My two youngest son and daughter (10 & 7) like mom wearing skirts like daddy likes it. So to please my husband I do wear skirts more than jeans now and i do feel more modest and they are comfy. My problem is I’m heavy set and short, so I feel that I look ” dumpy” in skirts. I told my husband that but he said he thinks I’m beautiful in them and it seems he acts different when he comes home from work and im in a skirt. I need to figure out how to get over the feeling that I look terrible in them because of my height and weight. Plus it doesn’t help that my mom said skirts make big women look bigger ( she’s big too). With skirts there’s no shape on a big woman, it looks tent like. So if anyone can help with this I’d love to hear from you. I do want to be submissive and please my husband ! I jus hate the way I look and how others see me im sure in skirts. One more thing, he went to sunrise service at church yesterday , me and the kids waited until the sunrise breakfast. When I sat down at the table my husband looked at me, smiled with a wink and said ” you look very nice” . I was wearing a spring looking skirt outfit. I need to get it in my head that he’s the one I need to please, no one else. I just wish I was skinny then it would be easier for me to dress how he wants me to.
Michelle,
I think that is awesome that your husband thinks you are so beautiful when you are in a skirt. Men are very visual – and that is a huge reminder to him that you are a woman. The more feminine you look and act – the more masculine HE feels! Kinda cool, huh?
What length skirts does he like? If they are around knee length or a bit longer – I don’t see where they would look like a tent.
I agree that it is most important that your husband loves the way you look – not what your mom says.
Be confident and feel sexy knowing that your husband is so turned on by you and enjoy the gift of your femininity. That’s my suggestion!
Thank you for answering. I read your comment to my husband and he smiled. So I take it that means he agrees with what you said. I mainly wear little below the knee or to ankle. I have some cute ones, just feel self concious. You are right it’s about how he feels and what he thinks. Thank you for agreeing with my hubby, it makes me feel better.
I personally think skirts look awesome on all body shapes and sizes.
You may want to check out my post on people pleasing – it may help you drop that desire to have other people’s approval and concentrate solely on God’s approval and then, as a distant second, your husband’s approval.
First you must like yourself, then others will see you how you see yourself. If you don’t like you, your shape, your hair, whatever, you are telling everyone out there, I am not happy with who I am. please look at my bad point, as they are more important than my good points.
Your husband is knows your good and bad points and he is seeing something in you that you choose not to see, the beautiful lady he married, the person who you really are, not the person that is defined by the clothes she wears.
My mum is 4’9″ and a size 22uk,, essentially she is a large square, but you will never she her wearing trousers to church, and she always always looks amazing.
First find a style of skirt that suits yours shape, colours that complement your skin tone, patterns that bring out your personality, a length that you are comfortable in, don’t buy because it is a skirt, buy because it suits your personality. If you can, get someone to make your skirts and if you buy them get someone to alter the hemline to suit your body so that it falls evenly round the hemline. I made this heck skirt for a size 24, although it not visible, the hemline is not straight, I have padded my dummy out to represent her figure, so when she wears it, it is falls evenly round the hemline. . http://thedressmakerscloset.blogspot.co.uk/p/portfolio_9.html
Good luck Michelle
Wonderful tips, Pam!!!! Thank you so much!
Thank you, I will read your post on people pleasing.
I love skirts, too! You will be more likely to be additionally screened at airports ( happens to me all the time) but who cares
Love your blog!
Thanks, Holly!!! Hmm… I guess I can understand why. One time when I was working the night shift at the pharmacy at Kroger – a large woman in a very long skirt came in – and she was hobbling her way out of the store when an entire TURKEY fell out of her skirt. She was trying to steal it and was trying to walk with it between her knees!
As I’ve written before, my husband is the one that asked me to start wearing skirts. I didn’t own any when we got together. About a yr after marriage I bought my first dress and it went from there. Over the yrs I added a dress or skirt here and there. Just few months ago I still only had 5 in my closet. Now we’ve been married almost 13 yrs and half of my closet is skirts. I changed the way I was walking with The Lord and the way I was respecting my husband last year. At that point I wanted to be pleasing to God and hubby so I bought a skirt with every time he got paid ( with his permission ofcourse). He loves that I have changed my wardrobe. I’m not ready to get rid of my jeans and capris just yet. But this is the third week in a row that I’ve been in strictly skirts daily. Woo hooo hubby is very happy. I was concerned about me wearing skirts because I am heavy set and I thought I looked terrible. Then I realized it doesn’t matter what I think I look like, it matters what HE thinks and he loves the skirts. He said its more modest and he thinks I look cute in skirts. We even have our daughter age 7 loving skirts and dresses. We homeschool so if she wants to wear dresses/skirts daily its ok sence she won’t be romping around with a bunch of other kids. Our 10 yr old son even used to say to me when I’d put jeans on ” mom, dad wants you in a skirt” lol. The oldest child in the home is the one that kinda thinks its weird, but doesn’t say anything bad. I’ve been in jeans/capris all of his life until recently.( he’ll be 16 in 2 weeks) he’s from my previous marriage and his dad is the furthest thing from God so he didn’t wish I’d dress any certain way. ( why I was attracted to my X is beyond me, he didn’t go to church with me and lived total opposit of the bible, but at least I’m with a very Godly husband and have been 13 yrs and many more to come). So with all this being sed, I love skirts now, boy are they comfy and I do feel more modest and more feminine. Used to it was just every once in a while on Sundays I’d wear a skirt. So the skirt wearing shall continue and eventually the jeans/capris will be gone. I will keep a pair or two for night camping only. Thanks so much for your blog, it’s helped.
Michelle
I am so excited for you! Sounds like your husband is having a blast.
. That puts a smile on my face. Thank you so much for sharing!!! It is wonderful to hear from you, Michelle!
Sent from my iPad
Thank you April and yup he is loving it for sure !
Oh my goodness that is crazy. Ok I’m heavy set but no way shape or form am I gona have a turkey in my skirt, lol too funny !!! That must’ve been a sight.
I have to say that I hate skirts with an absolute passion. My father used to get us to wear them to church as it was the “done thing” and I never felt comfortable in them. Still don’t, I don’t even own a single skirt and I don’t intend to. Give me jeans and hoodies any day, and thankfully my husband loves me in jeans and hoodies. I’m glad that you clarified your post saying that it’s not a “one size fits all” (pardon the pun!) thing with skirts – each to their own. T-shirts and hoodies work for me, skirts never will. I’m not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination, always have preferred my comfy casual clothes and my husband loves me in nothing better than sweats or joggers.
Jacinda,
Thanks for sharing!
I wore jeans and a t-shirt every day for MANY years. Thanks for sharing your point of view.
I grew up in a religious community where females were not allowed to wear trousers or skirts. I decided to leave the community when I was 28 and had to adjust to the “outside world”
I started to work in an office environment. For a long time I was the only woman wearing a skirt or dress. It did not bother me for some time but then started to become self conscious as the “odd one out”. I gave the matter careful thought and prayed for guidance and, one day when I was in the street, I suddenly had a thought “why shouldn’t I wear trousers”
I did nothing about it for several weeks but then decided to try a pair on for the first time. I was surprised how comfortable they felt and found myself at nearly 30 years of age buying my first pair of trousers.
It felt odd at first having my legs encased in material and I kept on having to do a double take in the mirror. The funny thing was that nobody took any notice at work of me wearing trousers for the first time.
I now have several pairs and probably wear trousers 3 or 4 times each week.
Rebecca,
Thank you for sharing your story!
. It is wonderful to meet you.
Hey April I have Kool news. I’m still wearing skirts daily (4 or 5 wks now I lost track), hubby is loving it !!! We had a Girl Scout sleepover this past friday, i wore a skirt friday nite and saturday even running around w the girls. I cleaned our van yesterday inside and out with one on. Rick had to go to Missouri for work 2 wks ago and I had a thought, hey he’s gone so I think I’ll wear jeans a few days. Well every morning when I got dressed I automatically put on a skirt. The kids and I joined him in Missouri the second week he was there. And guess what, I packed nuttin but skirts
he was happy when he saw my clothes in the hotel closet. We went to the city museum , Arch, walked around etc. Today at church one of the lady’s gave me the cutest calf length black skirt w white polka dots. Can’t wait to wear it. So 41 yrs of jean/Capri/shorts wearing , ( only once in a very blue moon a skirt to church) and I’ve been in skirts for a month or so straight. Woo hoo !!! It’s so comfy and I feel modest, never even imagined that every day life could be done in a skirt. Most important is I’m being submissive to the hubby and I’m enjoying it. 
Aww! The thing that makes me smile the most is how much your husband loves it. What a sweet gift to give to him.
Hello, it’s been a while sence I’ve posted. I need some encouragement. I’ve been obeying my husbands wishes and wearing skirts daily and have been loving it. He even turned me loose in CJ Banks with the debit card for Mother’s Day. I was sensible and got some cute outfits but put some back due to not wanting to overspend. So anyway it’s been what 3 months now mayb, that I’ve been skirts daily. I’m a Girl Scout leader and we had our bridging ceremony on Sunday. So I had to get up on stage and bridge some of my girls on to juniors. Hubby took lots of pictures of me. Well when I was viewing them I was very disgusted to what I saw. I’m short and heavy set, enough said !! My mom told me a couple times that big women look bigger in skirts and look much better in pants/jeans/capris ( as I’ve mentioned before in a post). So after seeing the pics on Sunday I got real bummed and sed to self ” wow is she right or what “! I want to please my husband and The Lord by dressing modest, and I do love my new wardrobe. I feel comfy, modest, and seems I have a better outlook on being home full time and schooling the kiddos. So with this being said, I want to continue wearing skirts daily but when I saw the pics it made me feel terrible about how I look and made me think mom is right. Hubby wants me to continue and says it matters what he likes and how i feel. He said ignore the pics. And mom, he said sence she is heavy and won’t wear skirts, she’s trying to make me have the same opinion and it’s working. She’s a very loving mom/grandma and raised me single and did a great job. She has very low self image and has been judged her whole life, so I know she’s just trying to protect me from being judged by others. Rick said I’m beautiful to him and was made in Gods image, when I don’t like what I see, I’m not liking what God created. ( aarrgghh hubby is right as always lol ). Why can’t I like what I see in pictures. ( now some pics I like myself, jus the ones Sunday really bummed me ).
Michelle,
I agree with your husband that his opinion and preferences ought to carry more weight than your Mama’s.
Is it possible that you are listening to a voice from the enemy?
What is your goal with your appearance?
Is it possible that you don’t like the pictures because you have heard your mom’s comments so many times?
You are an image bearer of God! You are a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords! Your beauty comes from your gentle, peaceful spirit that does what is right and does not give way to fear. Your acceptance and approval are in Jesus – bought with His blood.
If you want to work on the weight issue some – that is fine – as long as you are seeking to be healthy and a good steward of your body.
In the mean time – I vote for being confident in the body you have because of Jesus’ love for you – and let that love of His just overflow from your life – splattering onto everyone around you.
Why should feminine clothes be reserved for only certain women? It seems to me that one of the lies that women believe is that if you can’t be thin and beautiful and young, there is no use trying to look feminine and pretty, so getting that short mature haircut is sensible and ditching dresses is mandatory. Something about femininity feeds both your soul and your husband’s. Think about it- you are a warm and lovely woman and are as entitled to femininity as the most beautiful woman in the world is. It is your birthright.
If you think that the skirts you wore were tent-like, perhaps consider skirts with a different shape next time you shop… instead of an a-line, perhaps a mermaid or pencil? And if you are feeling down about your appearance, a little pretty time where you give yourself a pedicure or facial, etc always helps.
Sometimes it helps to feel you are at your best.
I have been trying to train myself to think of my goal as “feminine pretty” because any woman can succeed at that at any age if she puts in a little effort.
Who needs soul stripping criticism? Maintaining beauty takes time and energy… baby steps of small resolutions, sure… but there should be no space for thoughts that destroy. Check out As A Man Thinketh by James Allen – you are the ‘gardener’ of your thoughts. Think about those things that are true & lovely & pure, etc and fight thoughts that steal your joy. Blessings!
Anis,
Thank you for encouraging our sister! May God richly bless your walk with Him and your marriage!
Thankyou Anis for the post. The skirts I wear are just below the knee or between lower calf and ankle. Very cute skirts !! I guess I’m just looking at myself thru society eyes instead of how God and my husband looks at me. I do go and get my nails done monthly , we call it my ” allowance” sence I choose not to go out and about with friends etc. so I get gel nails and very pretty colors etc and toe nails painted as well. I’ve been heavy ever sence my second child was born who is now 16 ( I have 22,16,11,7). I guess I have a thought of thin is the best look. I deny myself of really believing my husband when he says he Loves what he sees and fell in Love with my heart and body weight isnt going to make him love me or want me any less. The way he treats me and looks at me is amazing. So why isnt that enough !? I need to get satan out of my head today and forever ! Thankyou again for your post.
Michelle,
I can’t begin to tell you how many wives would give ANYTHING to have a man who loved them like that!
You are SO BLESSED!
Yes April you are right. That’s what keeps me wearing skirts and being a keeper at home etc because I am very blessed with having Rick. My X husband wasn’t even near what Rick is, and biggest part he wasn’t and isn’t a God follower. Ricks truly heaven sent, is leader In the home, very much a man of God etc . I need to learn to love me for me not for what I think I need to be, size wise. Can people share pictures on here ? I have a pic from Mother’s Day banquet of my daughter and I. It doesn’t show my whole body size, she’s hiding most of it.
You can try! If not, you may email me and I can post it on the thread, I think.
What is ur email ?
Aprilc@sc.rr.com
Michelle,
Nope! I can’t post it here, either. I tried, but it won’t let me put a picture. I am sorry!
Ty for trying. You saw them and that’s what matters. I’ve thought about what you said in emails and I have prayed about it. I’m going to do my best to love my body no matter what size. Rick loves me for who I am not my body size. To God I am beautifully made, so if I can just get that thru my thick head, all will be good. I’m still wearing skirts because I do agree it’s more modest and hubby wants me too and as ive mentioned before very comfy and i feel good in them ( except when i see a pic of myself). We even have our daughter wearing dresses/skirts mostly and she likes it. So I have to keep the mind set that this is pleasing to God and Rick so I need to be happy to wear them without putting myself down for being plus size.
Thank-you April you always know just what to say. I think it is me listening to the enemy and mom over God and hubby. When I’m around my family here, church family and friends and even in public, I wear skirts with confidence. So I’m going to pray and know that it is important what God and Rick want me to do. Not mom or the enemy. Thankyou again.
She is welcome to contact me!
aprilc@sc.rr.com