Roadblocks to Biblical Submission in Marriage -from the Archives
I was just brainstorming about some of the biggest hindrances to submitting to my husband for me in earlier years in our marriage. I am going to share some of my mistakes and sins- to show how imperfect I am and how desperately I need God just like every person does. I am thankful every day that God has opened my eyes to His ways!
I think that young wives or single women might especially want to perk up their ears and guard your hearts against things that might creep into your mindset and contaminate your understanding of Scripture and that might encourage you to disobey God’s Word and create a great deal of pain in your marriage.
WHAT IS SUBMISSION IN THE BIBLE?
It means that one person is designated by God to be the authority in the relationship – to be the one responsible to God for the decisions and well-being of those entrusted to him – and the other person empowers the leadership of the one in authority and cooperates with his decisions. It is a military term that refers to answering to one of a higher rank. It has NOTHING to do with value as a person. God values all people the same! See Galatians 3! And it has NOTHING to do with being a slave or subservient or having no brain, no thoughts, no opinions and no ideas.
You actually get to have MORE power when you respect your husband because when he feels respected – he will CARE DEEPLY about your feelings and desires! So all you have to do is briefly tell him what you feel and want and let him consider your feelings so that he can make the best decision for the family.
If he is asking you what restaurant you want to go to – tell him politely and respectfully where you would prefer to go. If he is talking with you about moving or y’all are discussing having another child or home schooling or private school or changing churches or buying a major purchase – then you tell him your feelings and desires, but if you cannot agree – you can tell him, “You know that I believe we should do X, but I trust you to make the best decision for our family. I know you are accountable to God for this and I trust you to do what is best for us.”
Submission is a gift that you give to your husband out of reverence for Christ and obedience to scripture. It cannot be forced or coerced. And a husband who feels respected and who knows his leadership is supported will generally respond by wanting to serve his wife and see her be happy. The happier his wife is, the more successful he feels as a husband.
Some Factors that Encouraged Me to be “In Charge” of My Marriage Instead of Submitting to my Husband:
- the general culture of feminism that discourages real godly femininity and masculinity and is DEEPLY ingrained in almost all of us whether we are aware of it or not. It says that women and men are basically the same except for “plumbing” and that they should be equal in marriage and their roles are basically interchangeable.
- being a straight A honor’s student all through high school and pharmacy school left me with a huge perfectionism streak and made me feel very in charge of my own destiny. I was probably a bit of a control freak. I also believed if I worked harder, I would be successful. But that didn’t translate in marriage. The harder I tried, the lonelier and more frustrated I was.
- Making more $ than my husband did for the first 15.5 years of our marriage gave me a feeling that I “should” be in charge of spending “my money.” We always had our money combined in one bank account. But I was in charge of the money from the time we got married. I paid the bills. I made a lot of financial decisions on my own. We made large decisions together, and I never spent over $200 without checking with him. But I had a lot of freedom and earning power and I believe that was an insidious combination that undermined my husband’s authority in my mind. I knew I was the primary breadwinner. I didn’t like being the main source of income. In fact, I hated it. I wanted to be loved for being myself, not because of a paycheck – and that was always a doubt in the back of my mind. And when we had children, I went part-time, but I still was the primary breadwinner and I think that really affected how both of us viewed ourselves. We both WAY underestimated how profoundly my being the main monetary provider would skew and affect our marriage. God designed men to be the providers. Something happens that is just kind of emasculating to a man’s spirit when he is not the primary breadwinner. Women are designed to handle being indebted to a man. Like the Church is indebted to Christ. Christ is not indebted to the Church, and a husband is at his best when he is the one doing the giving and providing, not when he is indebted to his wife for financial support. This is an increasingly common issue. I am not sure what the solution is. I am so thankful that my hours were cut dramatically a few years ago and for the first time I was home more and making less money. That dynamic has been so much healthier for our marriage. I am much more frugal when I know the money is “his” hard-earned money not mine. I gave my husband the finances over a year ago- we BOTH love it that way now. It works so much better for me to not be in the position of telling him what he can or cannot spend. He is actually handling things much better than I did. He is super responsible and finds wonderful deals and ways to save money. And I love the freedom of having all that burden off my shoulders!
- I grew up being the dominant twin in a set of identical twins. I was used to being the “leader” and “in charge” since I was little.
- Being an identical twin and constantly talking to my twin sister about every single thought and feeling I had all day long was not the best preparation for marriage! A husband is NOT a twin sister!
- I thought of myself as responsible for my siblings almost like a parent from the time I was about 5 years old. It was a childish and prideful mindset. I had both parents, but for various reasons I felt like they “needed” my help. So I had a TON of pride and had learned that I was in control of a lot more than I really should have been. I didn’t see the sovereignty of God as much as I saw that I was in control and responsible for myself and I thought I was responsible for a lot of other people, too. That was a lot of pressure to try to “make” things happen the way I thought they should.
- Until my little brother was big enough to be my Daddy’s son and do things with him, I was sort of a son-substitute. I went hunting with my Daddy. I did anything my Daddy wanted me to. I was a Daddy’s girl- but in some ways I related more to him than to my mother. She was very respectful of my Daddy. But I took on a mindset of being the decision maker and being in charge.
- Growing up in a Southern Baptist Church I became very sensitive to guilt messages about me being responsible for other people going to heaven or not. I certainly didn’t want to be the reason that someone didn’t get to go to heaven. But that is also a lot of pressure and discounts God’s sovereignty and the power of His Spirit working through me, not my own efforts.
- I saw myself as being a respectful wife. I didn’t yell, call my husband names, throw things or look nearly as bad as a lot of other wives I had seen. I wasn’t a Bridezilla! Compared to the culture around me, I thought I looked pretty respectful. I didn’t know that my husband was not able to voice how disrespected he felt. I didn’t understand the intricacies of respect from a man’s point of view and glossed over my own failures to be the wife God called me to be. I thought that my husband needed to change.
- My husband tended to be quiet and need time to process. I took his silence as inaction and would eventually feel that “I had” to take over and make decisions. I was extremely impatient. If I had given him more time, and wasn’t demanding a quick answer, I believe now that he would have done a lot more leading in those early years.
- I was extremely prideful. I thought I knew best. I thought I knew better than he did. I don’t know that I consciously voiced that to myself- but it is what I believed. It was a big shock when I realized just how much pride I needed to confess to God and to my husband. Seemed like I needed a heavy duty com dump truck every day just to dump it all into.
- Being a pharmacist, I was used to advising people all day about their medications and health. I was used to telling my technicians what to do. I didn’t know I needed to turn that off at the door of my marriage.
- Being a mom, I was used to telling my children what to do. I had done the most research about parenting and baby’s health issues and made most of the decisions about the children. I easily slid into telling my husband what to do, too.
- I was afraid to not be in control. I didn’t like group projects in school because I had to depend on people who wouldn’t do the quality of work that I expected of myself. I didn’t like depending on anyone. I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t want to be seen as irresponsible or weak. I couldn’t turn off my over-responsibility for anyone, much less my husband. Things might not be “done right” if I didn’t do them myself.
- I had an inadequate understanding of godly femininity, God’s pattern for marriage, and my role as a wife despite my extensive knowledge of the Bible and wonderful upbringing. The culture’s messages about dual income marriages being normal and necessary and that a woman has to have a career had deep roots in my heart. I didn’t even know to question a lot of things about marriage and how much things have changed over the past few generations. I almost felt like I had to start from scratch figuring out God’s design for women, marriage, wives, and moms. What freedom and joy there is in His design!
- I didn’t know the power a woman has to influence her husband in her respect and submission. I had no other tools at my disposal! I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
How I can clearly relate to this list. My mother was a single mother. She was a respected business woman and can more than stand her own in a sea of business men. Her and her female friends used to joke a lot about how stupid men are. My biological father was at the bottom of the father of the year list- he was a gambler, cheated on my mother (she caught him numerous times), never held a stable job- so my mother left him and took my siblings and I to live here in the U.S. I can understand the bitterness my mother had towards men because even though my father didn’t physically beat her, he emotionally and mentally abused her. When she did remarry she was still the breadwinner. She used to talk about how she would manipulate my step father into thinking certain ideas were his- and I have witnessed it first hand. I have witnessed the yelling and fighting so that my mother got her way. Granted- he had no children in the marriage and she had children so maybe her case is a little different in that marriage. But the point is growing up with a very very strong woman like that- my sisters and I grew up with an I am woman hear me roar attitude.
Early in our marriage, I let my husband take the reigns on our finances and trusted him. But I got a lot of slack from my mother and my sisters for not “taking control” of our finances. My husband made some bad financial decisions during the early years and every time he did- their words echo in my head but in the beginning, I kept quiet and continued to trust him. We established early on that he would be the breadwinner and I would work to supplement the household income, but the kids were my responsibility. I too read the parenting books so I felt I knew the best way to raise our kids.
I also saw myself as being a respectful wife. I didn’t think I was as bad as a lot of other wives and women I know. In fact, others have commented at how great I was and patient I was towards my husband.
Then I came to Christ and I was consumed with the very same self righteous behavior that Christ came to save us from. Since I was in Christ, I knew what was best for our family and our children. I prayed and prayed for God to soften his heart to see things MY way since I felt MY way was Christ’s way. I felt empowered by my new found faith and felt that I was fighting a spiritual battle at home and I should fight it with the spirit of power, love and self discipline that I have through Christ. (I demonstrated love by what I thought was speaking the truth in love to my husband aka preaching- how dumb of me). I ran into the 1 peter verse about submission. I ran to my pastor and to my bible study group about it. Some women at my bible study would confirm that although I can’t really leave my husband, I must stand my ground quoting Luke 14:26. Some made me feel like I was idolizing my husband. My pastor meant well, but didn’t really help much. He referred me to some women who have been where I was. A couple of them did say that I must let my husband lead- even if it means to go to his church and just to find a way to go to bible study without interfering with my family schedule. Problem was I had to go back to work full time. My best friend said that those women’s situation didn’t apply to me because on the most part they (the women) still led in their family decisions. She and other said for me to just keep doing what I felt led to do and although I shouldn’t get a divorce I shouldn’t stop him if HE decides to leave because he couldn’t accept what I was doing. He was a hindrance in my growth in Christ. So I was completely confused and torn. I knew in my heart that God didn’t want divorce and didn’t want my family torn. But I also felt that yes- he was what stood in my spiritual growth. To top it off, I felt like an outcast in church because everyone was there with their happy families. And my children and I were there without my husband. Sundays and other days where we participated in fellowship events were always bittersweet. We would be so happy and I would be so filled only to come home to a cloud because it was eating my husband up to have us go to this “cult” as he called it. Looking back, I can only image how our children must have felt!!!!!!!
There were many times when we would end our argument about faith looking at each other sadly because we didn’t want to split up- we loved each other- but neither wanted to back away from our spiritual beliefs. I tried to tell him that we both believe in the same thing- one God, Jesus, His Son- so what’s the big deal??? I just can’t believe in certain doctrines my ex church- his church believed and I didn’t want our children believing that either- I just wanted Christ in our family- no religious label.
I read the love and respect book a year ago and it did help a little. I cut back on church participation but kept on going every Sunday. I felt I was doing the submissive thing by going to his church on special holidays (Christmas, Easter, his birthday). All the while we still have fights because I still felt resentful. I felt I was being submissive enough so why didn’t he let me go to bible study in peace? I also would hold back my 10% of my pay so I can tithe. (Yeah I was lying to him about how much I was making). I continued to pray for God to soften his heart and to let him wake up and be the spiritual leader in our home.
What I failed to see was God was working in his heart- here was a man who hardly went to church. But now he was going to church on his own very early on Sunday mornings. He even began offering more than the $5 he used to put in (still not 10% but it was more). He listened to Christian music on his own. He watched Christian movies (in lent he was watching all these movies- the 10 commandments, jeremiah, the passion of the Christ, another movie about Jesus). My friend said he was probably watching it as someone would watch a regular movie for entertainment- hinting I was getting my hopes up for nothing.
I also wasn’t seeing what God wanted ME to do- submit to my husband. As in DO NOT LIE about my pay. As in TRUSTING THE LORD ENOUGH TO FOLLOW HIS WORD AND LETTING MY HUSBAND LEAD. I was NOT letting him lead at all because I wanted him to lead in the way I THOUGHT HE SHOULD LEAD.
I wasn’t seeing that I was being two different people- this “godly upright Christian woman” outside my home but I have turned into a venomous contemptuous woman in my own home- thanks to my self righteousness. My disrespect to my husband is possibly what’s keeping him from coming to Christ.
I really did try all resources I can to find out what I should do but I always got mixed messages- yes- submit but I had to serve the Lord too- so I shouldn’t let him stop me from serving the Lord.
But praise God, I ran into your blog! And I want to share what you told me which made perfect sense- God wants me to serve Him by ministering to my family. This does not mean PREACH to them but to minister to them by my behavior. I am slowly seeing the error of my ways with the Holy Spirit’s leading.
I am leaving this LONG comment because I want to reach out to any woman who might be in my position.
Another roadblock is friends. Right now, as I am working on submitting to my husband, I feel alone in a sense that my friends wouldn’t understand. I am tired of apologizing for missing get-togethers with them. And I think they are tired of my apologies. I don’t even want to let them know about my struggles and victories about this journey I am on because I don’t want their input for now. I don’t want to be tempted to vent. I wish they can be understanding and just check to see how I’m doing instead of assuming I have withdrawn from them- especially my best friend. I think she thinks I have abandoned her…To Christian women who may have friends in my situation- the best thing you can do for them is just check on them once in awhile even if they can’t be involved in all the fellowship and church activities. One on one time is great for friends but if someone is trying to put their family back together- like I am- just check on your friend via text, phone, email. Since we work long hours during the week, my husband feels that the weekend should be spent together. Unfortunately, as much as my church has these cool family events we can do together, he doesn’t want to be a part of that church at this time or be involved with anyone in that church. Some may think that he is isolating us from the world- but it is only from that church. Our weekends are spent with family and other friends. And yes, I wish we can be with other godly families so our children can be around other godly people. (This is another one of my issues- that I am praying God to help me with and to put a hedge of protection around them because we are living among non Christian folk). Right now, I am praying fervently and trusting the Lord.
I hope this reply makes sense. I am writing it in between interruptions from my kids but I wanted to get this out there.
Humbled,
THANK YOU for this comment! I am SO excited for all that God is doing in you!!! WOOOHOOO!!
I wonder if you’ll let me use this as a post sometime?
I can’t wait to see all God has in store for you!
Humbled,
Oh! When you can – I would love for you to give us an update on how your relationship with your husband is beginning to change! Anything new you have noticed early on in this process?
Pride is the root of all contention that arises when we consciously or unconsciously do not submit to our husbands. Pr. 13:10
Like you, April, God has had to break and is still breaking me. One thing I learnt is that insecurity lies at the root of prideful behaviour. If anybody had a reason to be proud it was Jesus. He was the Son of God with All Power at his disposal but he was humble. His secret was that He knew who He was, where He had come from, and where He was going. John 13:3-4.
That was why He did not struggle to wash the stinky feet of His disciples. It just didn’t bother Him because He was secure in His identity. He did not consider that and other acts as slavery at all.
We must work on our identity in Christ as a first step to submission.
We must seek wisdom. Pr. 4:7
I have personally struggled in my marriage for years. My husband is living a dual life where he appears quiet and humble and overly accommodating in public. At home, its a different picture of emotional and verbal abuse, coupled with spiritual manipulation.
At first I explained away my counter rudeness and disrespect, in the untruth that I can never submit to a man who is not submitted to God. After I moved to his home, he tried to dominate, claiming it was his home, and I needed to seek permission before receiving any visitors or stepping out. This behaviour of his was supported by our Senior Pastor much to my surprise. April, I’m a medical doctor for God’s sake. We’ve had lots of problems, and I have been tugged the evil of the two because no one believes he is abusive at home.
In any case, I started to claim God’s promises and perspective of me. I was led by the Holy Spirit to write out my identity in Christ. I stand in the mirror everyday and confess these to myself. I realised that God was changing both of us. I don’t struggle with fulfilling his sexual demands because of my renewed mind.
He’s an engineer so I struggled to understand his
insecurity.
Even though I dont have all the answers yet, I feel rather free in my mind. He counts himself a happy man
because he has a godly wife. i’m practicing Abigailism by enduring all the pain, allowing God to heal and to
teach me to forgive, rather than
seeking to protect my image at the detriment of the
union. This is the way the Master went, isn’t it?
I must admit I’m a very content woman, bold and beautiful because of all the work God had done on me.
Nana,
I really appreciate your willingness to share your story. This is a tough thing to do – and impossible without God! You have some really beautiful theology going on there and I know you will encourage so many other wives.
Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage says that we are most tempted to sin when we are sinned against. That is SO true! It seems so justifiable to be disrespectful when we are being unloved and mistreated. I am so sorry for your pain. I am here if you need me! aprilc@sc.rr.com But I am SO thrilled for all that God is doing in you. WOW! You are an inspiration! May God richly bless your faith in Christ and may your marriage bring great glory to God!
I’m a work in progress on all of this. My biggest road block is switching gears once I arrive home from work. I am in a position of power at work and it is really difficult to turn that switch off sometimes. It’s not that I don’t trust my husband to lead….it is just so difficult when I feel extremely competent too. I am REALLY working on this. I try very hard to defer to him on matters re: finances and other majore decisions but it’s tough when I am pulling in a lot of our money too.
It’s nice to read about others struggles and successes in their marriages. Pray. Pray. Pray.
becwillmylife,
I had a huge problem with that, too! The turning off work mode. Some women change out of their work clothes as soon as they get home as a reminder it is time to switch to wife mode.
Competency has nothing to do with who is in charge in marriage. Both husband and wife are hopefully very competent.
The amazing thing is the peace of mind you get to enjoy when you don’t carry all the weight of all the decisions anymore. I love it! and so much more intimacy, too – in every way.
I’m so glad to hear from you! Please let me know how you are doing! And if you have any questions, concerns or struggles you’d like me to address!
I feel like so much of this is me. Just tonight, my husband told (once again) that he didn’t like the way I spoke to him and he feels he doesn’t do anything right. He said i tell him what does wrong 80% of the time. He said I am constantly correcting him and this isn’t school (I used to be a teacher and principal). I was a little perturbed and defensive but I’ve since then I have had a chance to calm down, pray and self reflect. He is right. When I met him, he told me he was trainable and that was the biggest attractor for me. I’ve never fully accepted him because I’ve been busy trying to train and change him into my perfect man. It’s horrible but unfortunately true. Now I have a long road ahead of having the Holy Spirit change me and learning to accept my husband for who he is and who God would have him to be. I’ve given myself the challenge of not correcting him, trying to train him or complain to or about him for the next 40 days. Please pray for and with me as I know this is a God-sized goal and will be challenging for me. BUT 2 little kids and another on the way, we have get a stronger more joyful marriage and I finally realize it’s me that has to do the changing.
I’ll be studying your blog (and the Bible of course) to figure just how to do that.
God bless you for sharing your story to help others!
Pls forgive me for all of the errors. I’m pecking this out sideways on the iPad in bed. Sorry!
Inga,
You, and so many wives just like you, are the reason I believe God has called me to do this.
That is interesting that his saying he was trainable was the biggest attractor for you. I have heard it said, and I wish I remember the source, that the only thing worse than a man you can’t train is one you can! And I believe that now!
I’d like you to look at his lack of trainability as a HUGE advantage! THANK GOD that he won’t change for you. Thank God he has a backbone and convictions and he stands up to you. Those are qualities of a leader. And that is exactly what God has designed him to be! God actually CAN use you to help train him, but it is in such a different way than you might think. God will use your obedience to His Word to help you “train” your husband to be a godly leader. It is your smile, your faith, your praise of all that is good, your respect, your cooperation, your biblical submission, your trust and your delight that will help him to become a more godly man and leader. The criticisms, negativity, lecturing, nagging, preaching, teaching, sarcasm, anger, bitterness, resentment and all of that stuff has to go.
I think it is interesting that according to the Bible, marriage is to represent Christ and His bride, the church. And we as wives do to our husbands exactly what people try to do to God – remake him in our own image, control him, make him be and do what WE want instead of accepting him as he truly is. We have wimpy views of God and we have wimpy views of our husbands. It is when we see how much stronger they are – God and our husbands – than we are – that we can begin to respect them and appreciate them without changing them.
I am VERY proud of you about not training him or complaining for 40 days, many of my posts will help you accomplish your goal. And I will definitely be praying! Please keep me posted and don’t hesitate to email me if you get stuck or have a question or concern! I will do my best to point you toward Christ and obedience to His Word! aprilc@sc.rr.com
THANK YOU for being willing to be so boldly honest with you! You are 100% correct about your observations. I will keep in touch.
Inga,
If you are looking for a bit of encouragement on your 40 day journey – The Respect Dare by Nina Roesner has 40 days of Respect challenges and stories to help you if you are interested! It’s a great resource.
Thanks for the reco April! I will try to get it as soon as I’m able. Maybe they’ll even have it at the library.
I’m thankful to be “connected” to like- minded women thru your blog, April. One of the hugest obstacles to walking this out is not be suurounded by supporters of such an integral concept that I’m living by. Thankful for all you ladies that even though we are far away and don’t know each other, that we can know there are others with the same desires and struggles. Thanks for honesty and transparency…
Emily,
I was totally on my own when I started on my journey – and it was VERY difficult for me to find the information I needed. And then I had to piece everything together and it took a LONG time to get all the pieces. I pray that God might use me somehow to connect the dots closer for the wives coming behind me. And I think it is so inspiring to see the testimonies of other wives and watch them grow, too, and see the similar struggles we all share. I definitely think this community helps encourage everyone! This is a VERY unpopular way to live – even though it is biblical. Many women will look at us with ANGER and resentment. Many do not understand that we actually have MUCH MORE power when we obey God and SO many more blessings than when we try to do it our own way. I pray all of you may inspire those around you to seek God, too! And I pray for strength as you may face ridicule from those who can’t understand what you are doing and why. I also pray for godly girl friends and that you may evaluate friendships carefully and weed out the friends who are disrespectful or controlling towards your husband or their husbands – that disrespect is SO contagious! Thanks, Emily!
April, what are your thoughts on a woman wearing pants? My wife wears long modest skirts, which I believe personally all women who honor Christ should. Quite a few women these days wear pants that are form-fitting which I believe leads a man to possibly have sinful thoughts. I’ve even gone as far as trying to evangelize (not being pushy) a young woman at our church about why she should stop dressing in such a way. I love your blog!
Joe and Lisa
Joe,
I actually have a post on this and have been thinking today about pulling it out again soon! When I began to study godly femininity, I also studied about modesty and learned more about how men think and decided that I needed to wear long skirts all the time. It was a personal conviction for me. And for me, it serves several purposes.
- wearing a skirt is a tangible reminder to myself that I do not “wear the pants” in the family
-wearing skirts and dresses is a way for me to play up my femininity in my own spirit and celebrate being a woman, and also to highlight the contrast between male and female in our marriage and remind my husband that I am a girl.
- I believe it is the most modest option and I don’t want to cause my precious brothers in Christ to stumble.
I think this is something that needs to be addressed much more among Christian women. I don’t think most Christian women realize what a struggle many men have. But I do want to be careful not to be legalistic about it. My favorite definition of modesty is “humility in clothing”- so I draw attention to Christ not toward my body by what I wear. Or that is my goal!
April, thanks so much for giving us your views regarding this issue, and my wife agrees wholeheartedly. I believe God led us to your blog (and your hubbys) We have a difficult time meeting other couples who share our beliefs which are so similar to ours regarding Faith, Biblical Marriage, Modesty and so forth. In the culture we live in today, so many horrible messages are being sent out to young women (and men alike) about what it means to be in a relationship, what to wear etc. My wife and I recently witnessed a preteen girl with her mom walking out of an awful store during a mall outing (the store has the initials “VS” and looks close to borderline pornography from it’s displays) the mom had purchased something for the daughter who couldn’t have been more than 13 or so. I find this very disturbing that this goes on in our society. My wife doesn’t even go near that place as a 37 year old adult. We had a traditional courtship when we were dating. Not even sure if that even goes on anymore. I feel a calling to help young couples, but not sure where to start.
Joe and Lisa Dean
Joe, I definitely share your burden – and YES, there are many couples who choose to court now instead of dating.
You may be interested in a site that I write for once a week http://www.isthismodest.com
I pray that God might direct your steps and show you the work He has for you to do in the church! If you are interested in writing a post for me on a man’s point of view about why modesty is so important, you are welcome to do so! I have a few articles from January 2012 and February 2012 on my blog about modesty, and I also write http://www.peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com where I address a lot of these issues and attempt to reach women before they marry.
Unfortunately, even in Christian circles, we are often so worldly, that we don’t even realize that we are not supposed to look and act like the world.
I am praying God might use me – and other believers – to change that by His power alone. If we don’t get this marriage stuff right – and get our own sin nature under God’s control so that we are honoring Him in all we do, say and think – we have nothing of eternal value to offer to the world!
Thanks for the encouragement, support and prayers!