A Long-Lost Secret of God to Strengthen Our Prayer Lives and Marriages

On March 16, 2010 – God and I had an intense conversation.  I had been reading through I Corinthians and came to chapter 11 and it was like I was reading it for the first time.  I had always very conveniently ignored the first 16 verses before and had never had any prick of conscience about it in the past.  But this time, I could not ignore it AT ALL.  God brought it to my attention.  I had to deal with it.  He would not let me go any further until I wrestled with this passage.  And MAN, did I wrestle!!!!

Studying about respect and how God had ordained my husband as my authority had made me realize that I needed to pay attention whenever God is talking about spiritual authority.  That is an EXTREMELY CRITICAL topic.  There are some PROFOUND truths about marriage and about God’s design in this passage.  I pray that you might read it reverently, with new Spirit-filled eyes, prayerfully and with an open spirit to anything God may want to say to your heart.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head.  And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head – it is just as though her head were shaved.  If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head.  A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.  For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.  For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.  For as a woman came from man, so also man is born of woman.  But everything comes from God.  Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered?  Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory?  For long hair is given to her as a covering.  If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice -  nor do the churches of God.”  I Corinthians 11:3-16

THIS DOESN’T APPLY ANYMORE, RIGHT?  CAN’T I JUST MOVE ON TO THE STUFF ABOUT THE LORD’S SUPPER LATER IN THE CHAPTER?

I argued with God.  I tried to reason with Him.  “I’m doing the long hair thing – that is my womanly glory.  Isn’t that enough?”  I looked up all the different ways people interpret this passage.  I dug deeper – or maybe more accurately, I tried to find a way around what God was asking me to do.

I heard from many pastors that I trust that head-covering was a “cultural thing” and that it no longer applies to us these days.

That didn’t really make sense to me since Paul referred to the line of spiritual authority and headship between God>Christ>Man>Woman, the creation order of man and woman and to angels as the reason for women needing to have their heads covered – and as a sign of their husband’s spiritual authority over them.  Those reasons don’t seem “cultural” at all to me.

I couldn’t help but see as I studied the topic that women in the church had covered their heads to pray/prophesy for over 1900 years.  Many Christian women covered their heads ALL the time so that they could “pray properly” at any moment.  It wasn’t until the rise of feminism in the 1960s that women began to abandon head coverings when they prayed and went to church.

WE KNOW BETTER THAN GOD

It hit me.

The reason the symbol of a head covering is no longer “culturally relevant” to us is that we ditched the God-given authority of our husbands. 

We threw out God’s system of authority so we no longer “needed” a symbol of their authority.   We decided that we didn’t want God’s ways.  They were “oppressive,” “sexist,” “patriarchal,” “archaic” and “irrelevant” to the modern woman.

(I will completely concede that there were women who were abused and terribly mistreated by men when men had total power and control over their wives.  I believe that was a terrible injustice against women and that those husbands are being held accountable for their abuse of their authority by our just and holy God.  Abuse or tyranny is not what God desires for us either.  Ephesians 5:22-33 shows God’s beautiful design for marriage.)

So, in the 1960s, we as a culture, even in the church, mostly ditched respect for our husbands, teachers, pastors, government leaders and respect for parents.  The feminist movement, the hippies and war protesters in the 60s and 70s gave us “freedom from authority” that God had put in place over us for our protection, our benefit, our provision and to guide us in His ways.

Now it is all about ME.  What I want.  What I think is best. Who cares about authority anymore?  We want FREEDOM and INDEPENDENCE!

HOLY ANGER

Then I started to feel angry.  Really angry – a righteous anger that surfaced when I saw with horror how much our generation has been robbed as women, how much we have lost - the wisdom of God we haven’t known, the design of God for our marriages, femininity, mothering… that is completely foreign to many of us.  The generations before us dropped the ball.  We are paying the price and the price is astronomical.  Look at the state of our marriages today – and our churches. :(  Even my own marriage has paid dearly for my unquestioning acceptance in the past of these worldly, ungodly attitudes that spit in the face of God-given authority and that teach us to brazenly say, “I know better than my husband!  I know better than God!  I’m in charge here!  I don’t have to listen to You, God!  I’m doing things MY way!”

HOW DEEP IS MY OBEDIENCE?

My philosophy now is to embrace God’s Word and obey Him.  He is my Lord, after all!  His wisdom is higher than mine as the heavens are higher than the earth.  How can I say, “No!” to my Lord and King, to the Love of my life?  So, I am sharing my journey on this topic, because I believe it will honor God for me to do so.  I am definitely not seeking the approval of people.  If I were, I would certainly NOT write about this.  I have read all the sides of the debate on this issue and I realize it is extremely controversial for many women.  But for me it comes down to, “Will I obey God when He asks me to do something or will I insist on doing things my way?”

When I did things my own way in marriage, didn’t understand respect well at all, and took over the helm of my marriage – I made a HUGE mess of things!  I did not have the intimacy I longed for.  I was lonely, stressed, worried, critical, negative, unhappy and prickly to live with. I was not a godly woman in many respects.  My life, my attitudes, my words, my actions did not honor God many times.  My husband was unplugged and passive.  Our marriage was a far cry from representing the very great mystery of Christ and His church.

I actually wasn’t angry about the order of authority in I Corinthians 11.  In fact, I welcomed God’s authority structure in my life because I had already discovered that His way of doing things brought me such peace.   I accepted that God had placed my husband over me as my covering, my provider, my authority, my protector.  That wasn’t hard for me because I had accepted that when I started to study respect and biblical submission over a year earlier.

What was hard for me was to hear that God was asking me to put something on my head when I prayed.  I didn’t want to.  It was weird.  I didn’t see anyone else doing it.   (Well, maybe a few ladies at my large church wear hats, but only a handful out of over 2000 people.)  I didn’t want to look weird.  It was inconvenient.  It was uncultural these days.  YUCK.  “Do I really have to, God?  That is going to be such a pain!”

ASHAMED

Then I realized how incredibly shallow I must have sounded to God.  Christ was willing to die a very humiliating and excruciating death in my place.  If it brings glory to Christ and honor to my husband somehow for the angels and for Him to see me pray with a hat or a scarf or something on my head – then who am I to say to God, “I won’t make that sacrifice for You.  You’re not worth it to me.  My faith in You doesn’t go far enough for me to be willing to do what You ask – even if it is something as simple as putting a hat or scarf on my head.”

OUCH.

RESOLVED

So I decided that if God asked me to do this, I would obey Him.  I prayed about it and asked God to give me favor with my husband and then asked the my husband if he would be ok with me covering my head with a scarf  at home when I pray and during prayer at church – and I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED when he said, “That’s fine.”

WHAT??  REALLY???  Are you sure you heard my question??

Well, THAT was a God thing right there.  “OK, God.  I will obey You.  Even if no one else does.”

Am I saying you have to do this, precious wife, beloved of God?  Well… I don’t believe this is really about me and you.  It’s about your relationship with God.  I am not here to tell you what to do, but to pray that God might open your eyes to a spiritual practice we as women have lost and to expose you to God’s Word and the benefits of obedience to Him.  Your decision is up to you!  You don’t answer to me.  We all answer to God.

WHAT IF THAT PASSAGE TRULY IS ONLY FOR THE 1st CENTURY NOT US?

You know, if somehow it’s a “mistake” for me to cover my head when I pray now - if God says to me when I see Him in heaven, “Oh, I accidentally let that passage slip into the Bible.  That was a mistake.  I didn’t mean for you to have to do that.”  Then what have I lost?  The only thing I can see that I lose is that I might look a bit strange when I pray.  Not really that big of a deal!  It doesn’t really cost me much to do this.

Even if God didn’t care that much about me covering my head because He didn’t think it was culturally relevent in 2013 – wouldn’t He be honored by my obedient and willing attitude to do what the Bible instructed me to do?  And wouldn’t my husband be honored that I am accepting and honoring his God-given authority over me?  I believe that God honors my obedience and my desire to obey Him.  That obedient attitude on my part matters much more to God than what is on my head, I am sure.  I am confident that He will be pleased with my desire to honor Him.

WHAT IF GOD’S WORD, INCLUDING 1 CORINTHIANS 11, ACTUALLY DOES APPLY TO ME TODAY?

What if God DID intend to have that passage of scripture in the Bible?  What if He in His sovereignty meant for those verses to be there – and I decided to disobey Him?  What if I waved away God’s commands by using an excuse that “Oh, no one does that anymore.  Surely I am exempt from this command of God’s Word.”  How would I answer to Him when I refused to do something so small?  How could I defend myself?  What excuse would I have that would hold water with the King of kings and Lord of lords?  I couldn’t come up with any.

I believe that God honors and blesses my obedience to Him – even when I don’t understand why He might be asking me to do something.  Even if it is unpopular.  Even if I am the only one following Him.

THE BLESSINGS OF COVERING MY HEAD WHEN I PRAY

I was not prepared for the blessings I would experience as I obeyed God about covering my head during my private prayer time and at church during prayer.

  • It is SO MUCH EASIER for me to have the proper attitude toward my husband’s authority over me when I pray knowing I have a symbol of his authority on my head.  It helps me assume a proper mindset in prayer, a proper mindset toward my husband, and a proper mindset toward God.
  • I tend to be much more humble and grateful for my husband when I pray and cover my head, knowing that God has placed my husband over me to protect, guide and lead me.
  • I respect my husband more as I pray.  And when I approach God out of a sense of respect (for my husband and his leadership), THEN I see prayers answered in mighty and miraculous ways that I never saw when I was being disrespectful toward God and my husband in prayer.  I BELIEVE THIS IS A HUGE KEY TO AN EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL PRAYER LIFE!  It’s not that a piece of cloth is magical, or that God doesn’t hear me if I pray without covering my head – but it definitely affects my attitude and posture in prayer and helps keep me from being too prideful.   I could be legalistic about it.  But that’s not the point.  It is my attitude in prayer and toward my husband that matter most to God.  The outer symbol is a reminder largely for my own benefit, but also for my husband’s benefit and the angels.
  • I feel so much more spiritually connected and close to my husband when I put a scarf or hat on my head and pray alone at home.  Somehow, having a symbol on my head reminding me of my husband’s authority and protection over me makes me feel much more secure in his love and in God’s love, and helps me to rest more in my husband’s love and God’s love.
  • Putting something on my head before I pray is a daily and continual reminder of the importance of my husband’s authority over me and helps me to maintain the proper perspective about our relationship, it helps me to respect my husband more.
  • When my husband sees that I put a sign on my head signalling my willingness to recognize his authority over me – his confidence as the spiritual leader in our family is bolstered and he is reminded of the profound responsibility he has before God to lead me and our children in God’s ways.  Men are visual creatures.  When my husband sees my willingness to honor him before God in this way, it speaks powerfully to his soul.

THE MYSTERY OF THE DEEP THINGS OF GOD THAT ARE TOO WONDERFUL FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND

Even apart from the blessings I have seen in covering my head during prayer… there are the things Paul himself listed in this passage of scripture.

  • Somehow, my covering my head to show my acceptance of my husband’s leadership and authority over me impacts the angels in heaven.
  • Somehow my willingness to cover my head shows my respect for God’s order of headship and spiritual authority which is important to Him.
  • Somehow my covering my head covers my hair – my glory so that MY glory is not being seen during prayer.  My husband’s head is to be uncovered because he represents the glory of Christ.  Woman is the glory of man.  Man’s glory is to be covered during prayer.  This is how God desires our worship and prayer to look in order to serve His purposes and glorify Him.
  • My covering my head has something to do with the order of creation with man being created first and woman being created for man, not man for woman.  Like God was first (of course, He always was, He was never created) and people were created for God, not God for people.

These are some very intense mysteries of God that I humbly acknowledge I don’t begin to understand.  I don’t know how a piece of cloth matters exactly.  There are things going on in spiritual and heavenly realms that are impacted by my willingness to wear a sign of my husband’s authority on my head.  So I believe it is wise for me to follow God’s prescription for me, even though I don’t really understand it.  Thankfully a patient can take a prescription that a doctor orders and it works if she takes it properly and follow the doctor’s directions even though that patient might have no idea what is happening pharmacologically or biochemically in her body.  The prescription works apart from our understanding – as long as we take the medicine.  I think the commands of God are like that, too.  My obedience is required, not my understanding, in order to benefit and to honor God.

ISN’T THIS LEGALISTIC?

It is possible to make any act of obedience to God legalistic – prayer, Bible reading, going to church, respecting my husband, loving other people, tithing, dressing modestly.  The key is my motive.   If I desire to honor and please Christ, that is not legalism, it is joyful, willing obedience.  God wants me to do the right thing for the right reason.

Lord,

I pray we would be women of obedience, faith and who are filled with the full power of the Holy Spirit who boldly profess the Word of God and who lead many to Christ!  Use us to set a godly example in our marriages and families.  Let us be willing to make any sacrifice to be obedient to You.  Change us!  Make us the holy, godly, beautiful women You desire us to be!  Let us give ourselves completely to You, holding nothing back!

Thank You for the authority of God over Christ, and the authority of Christ over our husbands and the authority of our husbands over us.  Thank You that we have direct access to Christ and God through Jesus’ blood.  Thank You for revealing the paths that lead to Your greatest blessings in our spiritual lives and in our marriages and families.  Give us ears to hear Your voice!  Give us hearts that are willing and eager to obey You in all things!  Use us to honor You and bring great glory to Your Name and the gospel of Jesus Christ!

Amen!

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84 Comments on “A Long-Lost Secret of God to Strengthen Our Prayer Lives and Marriages”

  1. Sis
    May 24, 2012 at 7:37 am #

    It’s really interesting that head covers disappeared with the rise of feminism, I hadn’t put the two together before in my mind. Your obedience to Christ is encouraging, I feel the same awkwardness, but if that’s what the bible says then why aren’t we doing it? Pride just isn’t a good enough reason.

  2. lexifayefull
    May 24, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    I love this! I found myself agreeing through out. Literally shaking my head. What really IS wrong with a scarf?! It certainty would be something different.

    Thank you for this spiritual thought!

  3. lexifayefull
    May 24, 2012 at 7:42 am #

    I have to agree with Sis! Your obedience is so encouraging. It’s my favorite debate. Many people misinterpret what it means, and it’s disappeared with feminisim. An unfortunate result of being regarded as a lower class. Not what the Lord wants for us. Thank you for your encouragement. As I am learning and trying to be a more obedient wife for my husband, letting go of the reigns.

  4. Sis
    May 24, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    I was all ready to go put on my hat, then I told my husband about it. Here is his take. He says that Paul was speaking to a very specific church in Corinth. At that time, there was a temple where women were prostitutes and used their hair to symbolize their prostitution. He said that people were mistaking the women from the church as prostitutes because of their hair. This was hurting the gospel message so much that it was necessary for them to cover their hair just so people wouldn’t think that they were prostitutes. Their husbands “having authority over them” meant that they belonged to someone and weren’t available for prostitution.

    I still don’t think it is a bad idea to wear hats, but it is good to know the context of the verse.

    • peacefulwife
      May 24, 2012 at 10:27 am #

      Sis,
      Thanks for sharing your husband’s response! I am so proud of you for taking it straight to your husband to get his take.

      I definitely understand that in that particular culture, having an uncovered head had far more implications than it does in our culture today. And your husband’s view is probably the most popular Christian viewpoint of this passage that I have seen.

      If Paul had said, “Cover your head when you pray so that people don’t think you are a prostitute.” Then it would have been really obvious that it was a cultural thing to me.

      My concerns are that the arguments Paul gave were very weighty, non-cultural, theological arguments. And then at the end of the passage in vs 16, he says, “If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice – nor do the churches of God.” So the veiling of women during prayer, in my understanding, was to be done in all the churches. And Christian women did cover their heads during prayer for over 1900 years. In fact, Christian women in many cultures today still do cover their heads to pray. Many of them look at American Christian women and wonder why we don’t!

      Still – this is an issue that a wife would want to discuss with her husband. If my husband was extremely opposed to me covering my head in church, and he felt disrespected by an act that is supposed to show respect, then I may have to only cover my head in private prayer times and pray that God would give me wisdom to honor Him and my husband. There are many ways this may pan out in individual marriages. It would be something to pray about and hash out how to handle it in your marriage between you, God and your husband. I certainly do not claim to have all the answers for every situation. Our husband’s God-given authority is a gift to be treasured and respected. So no matter what we decide on this issue, we must be respectful of our husband’s leadership and God’s system of authority over us.

      Thanks for the comments, Sis!

      • Sis
        May 24, 2012 at 11:37 am #

        You’ve got a good point! Maybe regardless of the culture, Paul intended this to be for all Christian women.

        • peacefulwife
          May 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm #

          Sis,
          That is my understanding. But of course, there are many who will disagree.

          I appreciate your thoughts and comments so much! I am glad we can discuss these things, even if we reach different decisions in our marriages.

          For me, I had to go through the Bible and ask God to teach me His design for me as a wife and as a woman and just start all of my understanding from scratch a few years ago!

          I don’t want us to drop the ball. I pray God will show us how to be the women He wants us to be, even if that looks radical in our culture.

  5. Life as it is... after i do
    May 24, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    Amen! interesting post! love the research u included.

  6. ronfurg
    May 24, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    Peaceful — I appreciate your post and took the liberty of re-blogging it on my own wee blog, ronfurg.wordpress.com.

  7. godadventure
    May 24, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    What a wonderful blog. Full of great thought provoking ideas. I have long been looked at as being not the “weird” side of Christianity because of my long held belief that if we really believed what the Word said wouldn’t we really live our lives differently. My main focus for this belief comes from the ideas the the power of the life and death is in the tongue and we have what we say. But now after reading your blog this gives me more cause for seeking God’s plan and truly following it. Thanks for your insight.

  8. Thomas
    May 24, 2012 at 10:57 am #

    Your writing reminds me of Our Lady, the Blessed Virgin, and her submission to her Spouse, her true Husband, the Holy Spirit. She is the greatest, most obedient disciple of Christ. She is always depicted with her head covered.

    All nuns used to wear the head covering of the habit, and lay women wore head coverings in Church. Since the feminist movement this is seen less and less, but has not been totally lost.

    Unlike the angels or the animals, we were created to be both spiritual AND material beings. Therefore, material objects serve a purpose in prayer and worship. God knows this. Some Christians have an attitude of “spiritual = good, material = bad. But, they are both good in proper form. You said:

    “I BELIEVE THIS IS A HUGE KEY TO AN EFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL PRAYER LIFE! It’s not that a piece of cloth is magical, or that God doesn’t hear me if I pray without covering my head – but it definitely affects my attitude and posture in prayer and helps keep me from being too prideful.”

    That is similar to what my tradition refers to as a “sacramental.” Things like holy water, medals, rosaries, etc. are not magical, superstitious things. They affect the attitude and prayer life of the believer who knows their rightful purpose.

    Peace.

    • peacefulwife
      May 24, 2012 at 10:59 am #

      thank you for your insights, Thomas! This is definitely the kind of thing that we sinful humans could turn into a legalistic or “religious” thing and use it to judge others or be prideful about ourselves.

      But when the believer is acting out of obedience and a desire to honor God and marriage, then I believe it is a very beautiful thing and a constant reminder to keep godly priorities and attitudes in place.

      Thank you so much for sharing!

  9. SowinTears
    May 24, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    I am single christian woman and I grew up seeing a group of women go from wearing coverings to not wearing them through the belief that it was out of tradition.. I received the gift of the Holy Ghost my freshman year in college 3 years ago and the Lord dealt with me while reading the scripture as well… I cover my head regardless of me being single. I received the holy ghost at a church I’m attending while in college and when I came home for the first summer break I went to service without my head covered because I was “ashamed, embarrassed” that I was going to be the only one with my head covered the Lord convicted me and I sat in the service convicted because I knew that I was wrong. When I got home I covered my head I repented to the Lord wept and he told me “to remain consistant”! No matter what others think holiness is still right! God has a standard, through the Holy Ghost if we allow it to lead it gives us an understanding of his truth and he is the word and his word=truth. I just love the fact that you are addressing truth. Understand I am 22 years old and it pains me because God has dealt with me concerning order that he created the man to lead to be the high priest and yet there are so many woemen wanting to be out of order…God has order he has blessed both the man and the woman but we each have or designated roles we as individuals are held accountable and it is us that will give account if we are disbodient all unrighteousness is sin… revelation says nothing that shall make a lie (Rev 21:27) shall enter into his holy temple. I just pray that the Lord continues to bless you I was so moved by your testimony I picked up the phone to call one of the elder’s at my church because only God can move our hearts as he has done me as he has done you… I’m reading a book called changed into his image by Jim berg… and today’s chapter talked about how we must be dependent upon God through humility… We know nothing, we cannot give life, we live, move have our being because of Jesus Christ.. So my prayer today was Lord clothe me with humility and what I read today in your blog is an example of just that humility… No matter what people say I want to be that daughter of sarah, pray like hannah and work like ruth to be blessed with Boaz that submits to God and we can grow to be in the perfect stature of Christ! God bless you

    • little Sister
      October 14, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

      I believe you are right in your observation. I believe the Holy Spirit gave you divine understanding of this because you were ready to accept it. I was already married when I found this and the OP is right, it’s a great way to “keep us humble” we are used to controlling everything, for the most part in our lives, it it is sooo easy to let that spill into our marriage and our place there in. Aside from that, we can also agree that it is for ALL Godly women. If one rung is missing in a ladder it is still very much a ladder.

  10. SowinTears
    May 24, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

    Reblogged this on Sown in Tears reap in Joy and commented:
    John 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. This blog is a wonderful testimony of Humility… God desires us to be in his will and through humility he brings sanctification to his believers(holy ghost filled/baptized).
    The Lord dealt with me about covering my head after receiving the Holy Ghost which is why I love this testimony. Our souls will be blessed as we continue being hungry and thirsty after righteousness: for they shall be filled… I hunger and thirst for righteousness and his truth to be in his will Lord clothe me in humility that I may obey your word- In Jesus name -Amen

  11. Michelle
    May 24, 2012 at 1:43 pm #

    I have contemplated the head-covering issue alot over the years. I came from a church background that was very issue-orientated (perhaps legalistic) and had to re-evaluate many things in my desire for healing, freedom, joy and ability to share Jesus Christ with others without the influence of others’ strong personalities and opinions that had me in ‘spiritual knots’ because it was all so complicated with all the ways I could be offending God. I have never found any paticular verse or explanation that could make me feel comfortable not wearing a head-covering though, specifically when publicly praying or prophesying (or in my case, teaching). Note: I often experienced what I perceived as the Lord’s guidance through a verse, concept or other influence that ‘set me free’ from other ‘convictions’, for example, leaven in the Communion portraying Christ as having sin and therefore an offence to him (for the kingdom of God is not meat and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost..) but never anything that seemed to justify not wearing a head-covering, despite how simpler it would have been… from my human perspective anyway. I did quit wearing a head-covering in my home, feeling that a submissive and humble attitude was the only re-quirement as Paul’s context seemed to be a woman’s public testimony and awareness of her submissive role as protection from spiritual entities/angels. Will re-evaluate and pray about that again though. For now, I am just very thankful to be somewhere where I am not making others uncomfortable or offended by wearing a head-covering for the Lord’s Supper etc. although not everybody does. I have often wore hats (not the old-fashioned Baptist-style ones- no offense to those who still wear these quaint accesories)so as not to alienate or freak out friends and acquaintances when I am giving the gospel or inadvertently teaching in someway, but I no longer stick my hand on my head in a crunch when I quote or share something spiritual with a friend or acquaintance spontaneously. By common sense, it has occurred to me that my God is not that riduculous or small. Anyways, I found your post refreshing and encouraging. May we always be open and teachable for the Spirit of God without being contentious and legalistic or judging others. Love in Christ.

    • peacefulwife
      May 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

      Michelle,
      Thanks so much for sharing your experience, journey and feelings on this difficult subject!

      I don’t always cover my head every single time when I pray. Whenever it is possible, I do, but sometimes I don’t have a scarf and I want to pray, so i go ahead and pray! I asked my husband about if I should keep my head covered all the time – and he didn’t feel that was necessary. I would have done it if he wanted me to. But I don’t want to be disrespectful of my husband as I am trying to show respect – if that makes sense? But I do pray many times throughout the day, so I could see where always being covered would be rational and practical.

      I cover my head when I am purposely having my quiet time and at church during prayer – unless my little girl stole my scarf and is laying on it – then I don’t worry about it and just check my attitude. I haven’t been in a teaching position since this issue has come up – but I have thought about that I would probably need to wear a hat. I don’t want to be legalistic about it, and something like this could DEFINITELY become a battle ground of legalism.

      For me, this issue is similar to modesty – it is the humility and attitude of the heart that I believe is the primary thing. I don’t think that lists of rules and hemlines or mandating hats or scarves is the answer at all. But I do think that when we cover our heads out of respect for God, His Word and our husband’s authority over us – it is a beautiful thing to God and somehow to the angels in heaven. Just like when we cover our bodies out of reverence for God and a desire to prevent ourselves from causing our brothers to stumble into temptation – I think that is a beautiful thing to God, too!

      I personally struggled SO MUCH with learning what respect meant and learning to respect my husband that when I began covering my head during prayer it REALLY helped me tangibly focus on the fact that my husband has spiritual authority in our marriage, not me. I need that reminder. Often. I am SO easily tempted to take over and try to control – or I used to be. God has changed me and I am INCREDIBLY THANKFUL EVERY DAY!

      Do I judge women who don’t cover their heads during prayer? Nope. This is a very personal issue between them, God and their husbands. But I do think it is worth thinking about, considering and praying about. Even though it is such a “small” thing – I think what the covering symbolizes is extremely important in our walk with God and in our marriages!

      May God richly bless your walk with Him, your marriage and your ministry!

  12. hannahrockabilly
    May 24, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    I was born and raised in a Christian home, and I dont ever remember seeing women covering their heads in church. My mother and I were just talking about when she stopped seeing heads being convered, and I find it ironic to see this post just days later of our conversation. I am very glad I read this; even though I am not married yet, I can see this helping me with my future husband as we share our lives together.

    i completly had to agree with you with the topic of women ditching respect. At first I felt like the world, “This is old and outdated, it doesint apply to me.” but the more I read, the more I felt like God was tugging at me. I deffinitly felt like God wanted me to read this.

    Thank you for posting =)

    • geogypsy68
      January 6, 2014 at 9:23 am #

      unmarried females should cover their head to show they are under their fathers submission, and after marriage their husband, that is what I have been taught ;)

  13. Raine
    May 24, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

    Thanks for posting this, April.

    I’ve covered my head for several years now, and have experienced many of the same blessings you have named. I really struggled with submission because I was used to leading in my marriage and other relationships, and it helped me to remember to honor my husband and respect God’s design for our marriage. My husband is nonbeliever, so it has also been a comfort and a powerful reminder to me that scripture says our husbands can be won over to the Lord by our (submissive, respectful) conduct.

    For those whose husband’s disagree with covering, I think the best thing to do is to obey him, ask them to study and pray about it, and then pray that the Lord will change their heart. I wanted to cover full-time at first, but my husband disagreed, although he said I was free to cover for worship and at home alone. Over the years, he has decided I am free to cover any time, although he asks me to go with certain styles that are less “religious” looking when we are out together or around his friends and family.

  14. The Water Bearer
    May 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm #

    Oh Peaceful Wife, I love how you get the cogs of my obedience issues turning! I too use the ‘I have long hair’ excuse, and I too am feeling the very same GODLY ANGER you do when I think about the downfall of relationships since the liberated woman began poisoning the respect women should have towards their husbands and therefore God. Also the ignorance and lack of care factor this world can show towards the order of things righteously designed by our Father God. You described it so well!

    You are truly gifted by the Holy Spirit and have stirred up in me a feeling I had forgotten, one which I used to experience with my Dad all the time. When ‘Making a fool of yourself for God” can bring such intimacy with Him and the scoffs from those around only seems to increase the intimacy!

    Your words spoke to my spirit so much that when I read your concluding prayer I pulled my bedsheet over my head! :)

    I then became perplexed by the trials of “ALWAYS” carrying a scarf or covering my head ALL the time, as I am in almost constant conversation with my Heavenly Father. Yet I must agree with the comments and the wonderful discussion that followed.

    My belief concurs that God is all about the obedient heart that He can SEE is WILLING to obey, and the symbol of covering your head in certain circumstances connected perfectly with that. Sometimes we will and sometimes we won’t, but He will not hold against us the times we don’t, He will be so focused on the obedient heart of His child and the relationship being developed out of loving submission and not legalistic restriction.

    Thanks again! Love it!

    http://innerangelsandenemies.wordpress.com/

  15. SAB Inspirations & More
    May 25, 2012 at 12:33 am #

    I’m single, but I’m a learning a lot from your blog. I too, had been taught about the cultural significance of the head covering and the how the prostitutes of the day shaved their heads. But as I read your post, I could absolutely see God instructing women to do this. I don’t know if the instruction is just for you personally or for all women, but I honestly don’t have a problem with it. If God required it of me, I would obey. Thanks again for sharing. Looking forward to the book!!!

  16. herainz
    May 25, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    Oh, April, you & I are a part of that sweetness that comes when Spirit joins Spirit! His annointing flows thru your writings and testimony. God has encouraged me so much thru you. Head covering is something I just dismissed because of previous teachings as quoted throughtout these comments. I am pondering this subject now. I so get everything you have written in your blog I have to wonder how I could not think differently on this subject. It makes sense, yes, maybe even resonates….what is that rearing up in me? excuses…excuses! Now that is something I reconize – spiritual warfare! My flesh attempting to dance with the enemy?? I’ll not have it! He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world!

  17. Emily C
    August 7, 2012 at 7:01 am #

    Wow April, I just linked back to this post from one of your recent posts and this is revolutionary! I totally get what you’re saying here. The mysteries of God are amazing. I am going to step out in faith with this one too…wow! awesome.

    • peacefulwife
      August 7, 2012 at 10:15 am #

      Emily, Yes… it is! It’s time for us to pick up the ball and decide to define femininity, marriage, parenting, faith and family by God’s Word instead of unquestioningly accepting what our ungodly culture teaches us. It is totally revolutionary! Let me know how things go! This one thing REALLY helped me to keep a respectful attitude towards my husband’s God-given authority. It’s a great reminder for me.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • peacefulwife
      August 7, 2012 at 10:03 pm #

      Emily,
      I know this one seems totally insane to most women in 2012. But, it sure works for me! It’s such a great tangible reminder for me to respect my husband’s authority and take shelter in his covering over me. Let me know how it goes! It’s wonderful to meet you!

  18. amy
    August 8, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    Hello! I’ve been stumbling upon different blogs, looking for women of the same mind. I just began to headcover, as a personal conviction. The Lord directly told me to do so. It’s amazing. I feel so spiritually blessed, so much closer to God. I want to jump for joy, cry with joy, smile with joy. I have struggled with depression for so, so long and placing this simple garment upon my head has been such an answer to prayer. It’s a way to belong solely to God, to bow to his sovereignty, honor Him and my husband, lessen ME, uplift HIM, remind me of who I am in Christ so I can teach properly my children. Thank you for sharing your heart and example!! ~AMY

    • peacefulwife
      April 18, 2013 at 7:36 am #

      Amy,

      It is a very simple thing – but the meaning behind it is holy and profound. Covering my head when I pray really helped me to remember that my husband is my covering and to respect him and his leadership over me as I pray – instead of praying pridefully – like I sadly used to do!

      I agree, covering my head when I pray has brought me much joy. It also helped me feel much closer to my husband spiritually even when we weren’t talking much a few years ago when I first started. Thank you for sharing your story and how this one little tiny act of obedience has blessed your walk with Christ and your marriage. :)

  19. Alison Joy
    April 18, 2013 at 7:29 am #

    Hi April, I just found this blog from your recent one on long hair, and it is so encouraging to hear what you have written!! A couple of years ago the Lord spoke to me about headcoverings for many of the reasons you have listed. It has been one of the hardest journeys, especially in regard to what other people might think….but I figured that the words in the Corinthian passage, ‘because of the angels’ was not a cultural thing but a spiritually relevant thing and that all scripture is relevant for todays living. I first covered my head with a friend praying and as we did we both received some revelation of the feminism within us and the need to ask for forgiveness. I now cover my head for prayer at home and during the church service prayers and any other prayers. A short while ago I asked the Lord to confirm that I was on the right track by covering my head as it often seems strange, by giving me one other woman who would cover her head in the church. He answered my prayer that week and now there is one more woman that covers her head! It has certainly created a storm as it brings up many emotions – especially within women, which I understand….but whenever I struggle with it, I remember that the Lord gave his life for me and my small act of obedience to his word and my loss of reputation if that be the case, is a way that I can honour him and in covering my glory, allow more of his glory to shine through….
    I believe that the Lord is coming for a pure and spotless bride and as a church he is calling us to realign ourselves to his word and to take his word seriously so that it can again become powerful in our midst..

    • peacefulwife
      April 18, 2013 at 7:38 am #

      Allison Joy,

      Thank you for sharing your story! Yes, there are many women who REALLY hate this idea today. But it is such a small thing – and obedience to God’s Word always brings joy. You articulate my feelings exactly – remembering what Christ did for me and desiring to honor Him. Thank you so much! :)

      • Kalita
        May 12, 2013 at 4:06 am #

        This is a very interesting post. Especially to see what God is doing all over the world. I am not in the US infact I live in China and God has recently convicted me to cover my head while praying. Infact right now its after church and I have like the only one covering my head there for months. It’s not easy. Most women would rather I don’t. I don’t say why I do it but I think many women guess as I am sure the spirit is working in the hearts of many people and those who choose to disobey would rather no one obeys so they are not convicted every time they see you. I was getting a little overwhelmed today and decided to google whether God has been leading others in the same way or I got it wrong, and I have to say I am highly encouraged. I am glad to have found this blog and I am sure God lead me directly to it. Thank you Jesus. Thank you too peacefulwife and continue in obedience. The Holy Spirit is doing a new thing in the body of Christ and I am sure as many obeys and finds themselves alone, they are going to be encouraged a lot by the footprints you have left behind. I didn’t realize that all this was lost with the advent of feminism, but the Holy Spirit has been leading me in the recent past to pray for obedience in the body of Christ especially the women. Because we are in rebellion, knowing what we should do but too ashamed and worried about what people will think to obey. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus suffered shame terrible shame for us, what is a little discomfort for His sake? Sometimes I get this picture in my mind that when God looks down on earth, He sees all these rebellious and disobedient children going about their business and it makes His feel bad and I always pray that He will lead me in the way of obedience such that when He looks down in the midst of rebellion and disobedience, He will see me in obedience and I will bring a smile to Him. May that be our prayer for there is a lot of rebellion in the body of Christ today. Will we stand up and be the ones to bring a smile to God in the midst of a rebellious world? It is a tall order and we cannot do it without Him, but He can lead us in the way of obedience. I am sure most of the people who have found this blog have been led here because God has seen their desire to please Him and May the Lord God richly bless all of you in Jesus name. Amen

        • peacefulwife
          May 12, 2013 at 5:53 pm #

          Kslita,

          I am so glad to meet you!

          Yes, there is much rebellion in the church today. I know it breaks God’s heart. I love that you are praying for the women of God to walk in obedience. Thank you for your prayers for the church and for your willingness to obey God, even in such a small way, even when no one else around you does.

          May God richly bless your walk with Him!

          Much love to you!

  20. Kathy
    July 15, 2013 at 10:25 am #

    I was searching for answers as to why women today don’t cover their heads when they pray, when I ran across this page. I really believe in everything you are saying here. I have been thinking about covering my head when I pray, but wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing by doing it. My question is, What if your husband is not being the head of the household as God want’s him to be? What if you (the wife) have to be the one in charge of your husband and everything else? I have that problem right now, and find it hard to submit as instructed, because my husband doesn’t lead, or protect, or provide.

    • peacefulwife
      July 15, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

      When I started covering my head, my husband had not yet begun to lead, he wasn’t protecting me and I was the major breadwinner in our family. I learned to step down and allow him to be in charge. I had to wait and be more patient than I had ever been in my life! But as you step down and show trust and faith in your husband, he will eventually begin to step up (unless he has serious issues like infidelity, major mental health issues that are uncontrolled or active drug/alcohol addictions).

      What I learned is that covering my head helped me to begin to really practice respecting my husband on a deeper level – especially in my private prayer time. It also helped me approach God respectfully and speak about my husband respectfully. Not that a scarf or something is magic, but that tangible reminder was very important for me as I had so much to learn.

      If your husband does not want you to cover your head at church, you can cooperate with his decision, and just cover when you pray at home. Some women do cover all the time – which I think is beautiful! But some husbands are not comfortable with that.

      As you begin to approach God and your husband with respect, reverence, faith and trust – God will change you first. Then, in time, He will change your husband.

      Check out this post:
      A Husband Answers – Why Won’t My Husband Lead?

      If you haven’t read it yet, check out what my husband wrote about his experience with me: When She Surrendered

      I personally decided I would wait right where I was and not run ahead of God or my husband anymore and just sit there until I was 80 years old if that was God’s will.

      I had to give up control. That was a huge idol for me!!!! I have so many posts about all of these issues. You may want to look at the blog timeline or search certain topics or key words on my home page.

      I had to embrace waiting. A LOT.

      I had to totally submit to Christ which I really hadn’t done before. I thought I was a strong Christian, but I really trusted myself – that is how I lived. I lived as if I was responsible for my life, my circumstances and everyone and everything around me. I lived as if I was sovereign, not God. I lived as if God was a tiny wimp – totally unable to do anything in my life. I worried. I was afraid a lot. I tried to make my husband do what I thought was right. I thought I was always right. I thought he was always wrong. :( I had SO MUCH PRIDE.

      If you haven’t already, you also may want to read my “About” post on my home page, and the post about “Husbands Share what is Direspectful to Them” and the one about What is Respectful to Husbands – and Biblical Submission.

      Let me know if you have more questions!

      aprilc@sc.rr.com

      • K
        September 9, 2013 at 9:14 pm #

        I have been learning a lot of things lately, not all of them for the first time unfortunately.
        Someone said they believed their husband needed more than one reminder-I think mine is one of them. His mother told me that all through school he couldn’t get his work done without her being with him the entire time to help him remember and stay on task. I think he still is that way, but I am working on not being rude when I do remind. (that’s my baby step right now)
        I am wondering what you mean by stepping down? I am trying to do what I can even though I am not good at it yet. I asked my husband what he expects me to do. He said he didn’t know. So, I tried a more direct approach. I asked him if he expected me to keep my job (its our primary income), he said yes. I asked him if he expected me to make meals, wash dishes, etc etc. He said yes. Then I told him I didn’t believe I could do all those things without getting sick from overworking myself. Then I said I trusted him to make good choices that would benefit the whole family, protect us, and lead us to follow the Lord the way we should according to his plan. He said he didn’t know if those things were true. I left it at that.

        • peacefulwife
          September 9, 2013 at 10:34 pm #

          K,

          Some husbands that have ADD or memory loss or certain situations may need reminders. The key is to do it respectfully and only if THEY want the reminders.

          The order of the questions you asked and then the statement about trusting him may have contributed to him thinking you were not genuine. If you say you trust him – you will have to put feet on that and be willing to cooperate with him and his decisions. If you believe you cannot do something, then, yes, say something like, “I want to work full time if you want me to, and I want to keep up with the meals, dishes, chores, childcare … but I am really overwhelmed right now. I can’t do all of this. What do you see that I can take off of my plate?” And he may need some time to think – that is ok!

          You will need to take every opportunity to show him you trust his decision making after making that statement.

          Are you handling the finances?
          Are you making all the major decisions?

          WHat could you give to your husband?

          Much love to you!

  21. edak
    July 24, 2013 at 3:56 pm #

    Thank you so much for this post. I want to do God’s perfect will this post has gotten me thinking. However, I want to find out, is it compulsory for a single girl to cover her hair while praying too. I will also like to know ur take on wearing trousers as a woman

    • peacefulwife
      July 24, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

      Edak,
      Great to meet you! :)

      It is my understanding that a woman covering her head shows that she has a sign of “authority” on her head – either her father or her husband.

      I am not aware of there being provision for women not to cover their heads when they pray. And, until the 1960s – all Christian women covered their heads – often all the time.

      I hope that might help! You could certainly cover your head when you pray at home in private if you want to show respect for your father’s authority over you.

      The Old Testament said that women were not to dress like men and men were not to dress like women. The New Testament says we are to dress modestly as women and instead of lavish and expensive clothing and jewels, we are to have good deeds as our ornaments. Women didn’t wear pants until about 60-80 years ago.

      There are no specific rules about modesty in the Bible. My suggestion is to ask your father – if he is a godly man – or a trusted godly brother about specific articles of clothing and whether they are modest or not. Generally, the more skin that shows – the more trouble many men will have with an outfit, and the tighter the fit of the clothing, the more temptation to lust.

      I believe there are some pants that do not cling to the body that are flowing that may be appropriate. I believe that is something for you to pray about and seek God’s will and see what you believe He wants you to do. :)

  22. Rachel Charlton
    September 24, 2013 at 10:36 pm #

    I have a similar story of reading 1 Cor. 11 of trying to find the Lord’s Supper and stumbling onto it. That was about 6 months ago and the Holy Spirit was asking me the question, “Why are we not practicing this?” I kinda asked some people at church, but was told it’s no longer relevant. Fast forward to a family camp we went to Labor Day weekend & I walk into the 1st service & I see women in head coverings. So, everything comes flooding back and I know this is the Lord speaking to me! I just today finished my study today & came to the conclusion that, yes, head covering is still relevant for Christian ladies today was

    I have questions though, if you are able to? How was it going in to church for the 1st time? What kind of quick answer did you give to the people who asked questions? Has anyone else started to practice this?

    Thank you for sharing your journey!

    Rachel Charlton

    • peacefulwife
      September 25, 2013 at 6:04 am #

      Rachel,

      My husband allows me to put a scarf over my head during prayer. I remove it the rest of the time. I have asked him about wearing a hat or something, but this is what he prefers right now, so this is what I do. I was very self conscious the first time, but really, it hasn’t been a big deal.

      One man made a comment that I looked like “Mother Mary” during prayer in our Sunday School class one time. People laughed. That has been the only comment. I did tell my Sunday School teacher what I would be doing the week before I started it. It was during class, and I didn’t say anything.

      If my husband were ok with me wearing a covering all the time, I would. I wear a scarf when I pray at home during my quiet time.

      Much love to you!

      • Nik (@999Nik999)
        November 29, 2013 at 5:30 pm #

        I love your blog! It has blessed me so much.

        In March of 2012, I was convicted to cover my head. It took me completely by surprise. I didn’t know what to think; it seemed to come out of the blue. I immediately looked up 1 Corinthians 11…the famous “Headcovering” chapter. I’ve read it before. I’ve always been taught that it was a cultural thing, and that if anything, a woman’s hair was to be her covering. Yet, I had this strong conviction to put something on my head. I didn’t have anything. I grabbed a bright orange pillow case and tied it like a bandanna and wore that while I studied this headcovering stuff.

        I can’t describe the feeling that came over me when I put that thing on my head. There are no words. Peace? Humility? Excitement? Weirdness? All of those and more. I spent the next several hours researching. I read everything I could find about the subject. I read all the arguments for and against. I listened to countless sermons. I became convinced that this was what God was calling me to do. I went out the next day and bought some scarves.

        I am the only Christian woman in my area that I know who covers. No one in my church does it. I am used to it now, but it was very scary in the beginning,

        My husband is okay with me covering all the time, so I usually do. I cover full time as a reminder that I um under the authority and protection of my husband. It helps me to remember to pray without ceasing. It helps me to be modest and humble.

        I now see it as an honour and a privilege to wear it. When I am not behaving in a godly manner, I feel ashamed to wear it. I feel like a hypocrite and that I am blaspheming. Those are the reasons I try to wear it all the time; rather than only during prayer/worship or prophesying/speaking the Word of God. I don’t think it is expressly commanded that it be worn all the time, but I have been led to do so. I am thankful that my husband allows it!

        • peacefulwife
          November 29, 2013 at 8:59 pm #

          Nik,

          Yes, it was very scary for me in the beginning, too. I don’t cover all the time, although I would if my husband wanted me to. But those feelings you had all sound very familiar! Something about it also helped me very concretely to respect my husband and keep humility in mind and reverence for God as I prayed. I needed all the help I could get with respecting my husband – I know that many people today would think it is extremely weird, but I just wanted to obey God’s Word, honor God, honor my husband and figure out how to respect my husband.

          I can totally see the advantages of covering full time. It is such a reminder of God’s commands to us as wives and women. And it definitely convicts when we are not acting in godly ways.

          Thanks so much for sharing!

  23. Catherine Kuszny
    October 8, 2013 at 6:32 am #

    Thank you for your blog. I’m in real turmoil right now. I recently read 1 Cor 11 and was convicted to wear a covering, but NO ONE at my church does this. The women lead meetings too, so why would God still bless these women if they are disobeying Him? I stepped out in faith even though I felt self conscious and I wore a hat on Sunday. I don’t think anyone would have realised what I was doing -yet. I’ve got a church meeting tonight and if I get a chance I’ll bring it up. My daughter is going through a similar thing. She wore a tichel on Sunday (she goes to a different venue to me, but same church). It all seemed cut and dried, but THEN I came across Cheryl Schatz’s blog about women in ministry and she seems to have very good explanations for why Paul spoke the way he did and how the bible translations don’t always show the right meaning. I’m all confused. What is the truth of this matter? I think the way to go right now, is to wear my hat until I’m sure. I want to honour the Lord. Have you or anyone here checked out Cheryl Schatz’s teachings? God bless.

    • peacefulwife
      October 8, 2013 at 6:50 am #

      Catherine,

      What does your husband think? I would suggest asking him and going with what he believes is best. :)

      • Catherine Kuszny
        October 9, 2013 at 9:42 am #

        Hi April, unfortunately my husband is an unbeliever, as is my daughter’s. We have had more peace about this, these last few days, and so we are going to continue wearing a head coverings (me a hat, my daughter a tichel) at meetings. Even though our husbands are not present at meetings or acknowledge God’s order of headship etc, we still want to bear witness to others (and the angels) of God’s order and plan. God bless, Catherine.

    • Melissa
      November 4, 2013 at 8:05 am #

      He blesses them because He loves them as modern parents do their children even when they are sassy and disobedient. But how mich MORE, does He bless the women who do cover. How much MORE does He answer their prayers, honor their authority because they honor HIm and send angels to minister to them! You and your daughter are on the right track. Stay the course.

  24. prayingwife79
    December 1, 2013 at 11:57 pm #

    What exactly counts for head coverings when speaking of scarves? I’m imagining the entire head covered but I have seen women wearing something that looks like a wide headband scarf. I am going to pray on this and speak with my husband but was looking for specifics.

    • peacefulwife
      December 2, 2013 at 5:45 am #

      prayingwife79,
      That would be something for you and your husband to decide. :)

    • geogypsy68
      January 6, 2014 at 10:08 am #

      The word in the bible translates to veiling ,( for the artificial covering) and if you want I have my notes from when my husband taught on this and I can go deep into the translations ;)

      • peacefulwife
        January 6, 2014 at 10:09 am #

        Thank you so much for going into the details of the translations. Without that, it can be difficult to understand this passage. :)

  25. MEL
    December 28, 2013 at 9:14 pm #

    As a child growing up my Mother has always cover her head when praying,even at times when she is not praying.
    When i became born again in my teen years,I never go to
    the house of the Lord with out my covering,or pray with out
    it.I am a Pastor’s wife for 38 years,and i have seen lots of women stop covering up when they pray.I know for sure that covering up the head when praying is the bible way,
    but what do you think,if we know that a woman should cover when they pray,a Pastor who knows that,should he
    call on some one who is not covered to pray,or preach ?
    the word with out her covering? I am Mel

    • peacefulwife
      December 28, 2013 at 9:26 pm #

      Mel,
      It is great to meet you!

      I am really sad that we have given up this symbol of covering our heads – and even more – that we have given up the respect for our husbands’ authority that it symbolizes.

      I do hope that pastors might talk about this in church again. Of course, I am not in a position to tell a pastor what to do. I trust God to give each pastor wisdom about those issues.

      Much love to you!

    • geogypsy68
      January 6, 2014 at 10:25 am #

      1 corinthians 14 : 34- Let you women keep silent in the churches:for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law VS.35 – And if they will learn any thing , let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak out in the church.
      Also 1 Timothy 2:8 – I will therefore that (the) men pray everywhere…in greek translates as male. men are to lead audibly in public prayer.women are to pray silently.

  26. D
    January 2, 2014 at 7:26 pm #

    When I was on missionary trips – in one nation it was NOT OK for women to wear jeans or any kind of pants because the inner thigh was considered very ‘sexy’. So we had to wear shorts AND long skirts. It felt so beautiful and feminine. We saw powerful miracles, healings and salvations of people as we ministered in the dirty streets and hospitals. In another nation, it was a SHAME for women to have their shoulders exposed – it was equivalent to being a prostitute. Again I happily dressed accordingly and we saw many saved and healings in the streets and hospitals. I have no qualms dressing to “be all things to all men so that some may be saved” and I don’t mind sticking something on my head to pray, and reminding me that my husband is my head, just not sure of it all – it says If it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven – and these days women shave their heads for fun and no one thinks anything of it. Paul said, “To those under the law I become as one under the law” and to those not under the law he became as those not under the law. He rebuked the churches in Galatians for trying to earn their salvation through the law yet he circumcised Timothy because the Jews knew his father was a Greek… I think it comes down to an attitude of the heart. I stuck a shirt on my head just now and prayed and I did feel a really safe nice feeling come on me and a respect for my husband out of nowhere. Not sure if I’m being weird or what but hey why not. I just think it’s got to be out of the right heart attitude and NOT out of religion

    • peacefulwife
      January 2, 2014 at 8:21 pm #

      D.,
      Absolutely – motive is the most important thing with God. :)

      I love your examples. Thank you so much for sharing!

    • Alison Joy
      January 3, 2014 at 3:18 pm #

      I’m not sure if I’ve understood right but I believe this scripture is more than cultural and that it is not just to remind us of our husband being the head…the bible says also that it is ‘because of the angels’ which is not cultural or something just to do with husbands… it is something more. I feel the world chooses many things such as women shaving heads but that is because it is at enmity with God but just because that is around us now, does not make it the rule of thumb as the bible tells us a woman’s hair is her glory..
      I believe the scriptures are timeless as they are inspired by the Spirit and hold us in good stead while the world chooses it’s own path. Could it not also be an attitude of obedience to the Word of God?
      God bless you, I appreciated hearing about your wonderful mission trips.

      x

  27. Peeps
    January 6, 2014 at 12:03 pm #

    Peacefulwife can you talk about shamfacedness, its in Timothy 1 Timothy 2:9 this is king James version
    In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

    • geogypsy68
      January 6, 2014 at 1:21 pm #

      The Greek New Testament says that means modesty towards men and reverence to GOD….

      • peacefulwife
        January 6, 2014 at 1:54 pm #

        Thanks, geogypsy68!!! I would SO LOVE to be able to read Greek!

        • geogypsy68
          January 6, 2014 at 3:05 pm #

          Your welcome, firstly I want to say that my husband was born on the mission field in Papua New Guinea , his father a missionary, and then himself being called to
          Preach at the age of 20 , he is now almost 53 and he has much knowledge in scripture , and with that being said , we have bible classes Monday -Saturday with us and our workers and also our own private readings of psalms daily. And his mum is a greek. ;) however I myself cannot read greek , I have a bible program called “sword searcher ” and I love. , you should check it out ;) when my husband teaches he does teach the translations from Greek & Hebrew , and I know what he has taught me , which is not enough ;) I am thankful for what my LORD has allowed me to
          Learn about HIS word and I pray daily for more knowledge of it.
          I don’t have much fellowship with women here on the mission field. , so I enjoy your blog and helping teach the truth to other women ;) I appreciate what you do for I know that it is time consuming , especially with a family. So anything I can do to help further the gospel of CHRIST and HIS truth…. I’m in ;)

          • peacefulwife
            January 6, 2014 at 7:57 pm #

            Geogypsy68,
            I am thrilled to have you here and appreciate your willingness to share your knowledge and love for Christ with us. You are a blessing!

            You are welcome to join my prayer team if you would like – and, if there are topics you might be interested in writing a post about, that would be great, too!

            I was spending a good 6-8 hours per day at times on blogging and comments. Greg, my husband, has asked me to cut down to about 2 hours/day. That is going to be REALLY CHALLENGING! I so love ministering to women and sharing Christ. I would do it all day long if I could. So, any time you want to contribute when someone needs encouragement or asks about scripture – I welcome your comments and insights. :)

          • geogypsy68
            January 7, 2014 at 5:31 am #

            Thank you ;) what exactly is your prayer team. ? I think I would love to. , but I would like a little info ;)
            I knew that writing articles and answering comments is very time consuming. ;( I mean just checking your email can turn into. 2 hrs. ! I also know that your family has to be (2 nd ) GOD being (1st ) and I understand how ministering to other women is rewarding spirituality ;) and we definitely should , ( with knowledge , comes responsibility . I would love to write a post, however I have not done anything like that since high school ;( I will pray about it. , and I as that you pray with me. ;) if there is anything I can do
            To help you. , I will ;)
            Did you check out “sword searcher” ? Or do you know it ?? I think it would be a great tool for you and your husband ;)
            Again. , thank you for making us all feel so welcome here ;) we will be in the states for a visit , LORD willing , Feb . I hope maybe we could meet up for dinner and fellowship ??

            • peacefulwife
              January 7, 2014 at 7:25 am #

              Geogypsy68,
              I have an email group and I mail prayer requests – primarily for me and this ministry and my family – to the group about once a week.

              I am going to be having prayer days corporately on the blog on Thursdays where we can all pray together for each other, our husbands and our marriages.

              The post thing- no pressure or rush – just if there is something you feel led to write about, you could let me know. I always have PLENTY of ideas for posts, so I am not lacking in material. :)

              You are most welcome!

              I’d LOVE to meet you and have dinner – God willing. :) I live in South Carolina.

  28. Peeps
    January 6, 2014 at 3:23 pm #

    Yes I just thought I would bring up the subject, whcih I am forget at times. My husband taught me that this word means lowly eyed, not looking men in the face, and a type of shyness, or modest towards men. Looking men in the eye in some countries is disrespectful to men. I would say this helps me out when men tend to look at us b/c of our beauty if you don’t pay them any mind and not look them inthe eye, they dont tend to flirt with you. I use to always look at men in the eye and was very gullible, I had it tuff in beginning of my marriage when all these men would tend to talk to me, I would wonder why, I was feeding into them and didn’t carry myself in a modest way. I have talked to my husband about the head covering he is in full agreement to wear it when I pray, he said, how could he be against it. So I was happy about that response.

    • peacefulwife
      January 6, 2014 at 7:54 pm #

      Peeps,

      I have also heard about this – as in – not looking boldly into men’s eyes. Although – I have to say, I do look men in the eye. Probably partly because as a retail pharmacist, that is part of customer service, to look people in the eye and smile and say hello and talk with them.

      That is an interesting idea – to think about not looking men in the eye so much. Thanks!

      • peacefulwife
        January 6, 2014 at 7:54 pm #

        Peeps,
        I’m so glad you asked your husband about the head covering. Isn’t it a sign of God’s favor when a husband responds so positively?

        • Peeps
          January 10, 2014 at 8:39 am #

          Hi April, yes, It was a great, I almost thought he would say no b/c in the past when I asked him about head covering, I asked what the scripture meant meant, I never asked If I could possibly wear a scarf. He was totally up for it. I wear something over my head now during prayer, and it helps me to remember who my head is, its humility. So thanks for letting God use you to bring this back.

          • peacefulwife
            January 10, 2014 at 8:44 am #

            Peeps,

            It is a simple little thing, but such a help to remember to have the proper attitude of humility and respect. I love it!

  29. Sandra Chiwanza
    February 9, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

    Dear April,
    Thank you so much for your blog. I have been searching for not only a reference to the bible but a woman’s perspective on what it means to cover your head when praying…

    Sometime last year, after the church service, One of my friends, a guy said to me ” you should cover your head whenever I am praying”. It wasn’t a request but him telling me…I was so angry , I just looked at him and ignored him. Every other time we talked over the phone, he would remind me but I always wanted to know exactly why he was suggesting it. He never explained to my satisfaction, and I once again just put it down to him being mad.
    A few months afterwards, I started covering my head in my quiet prayers at home, in my car…Every-time I would start praying, a voice would remind me to cover my head if it wasn’t. Some mysteries of God, we shall never understand but for the months I did it, prayers were answered with clarity and lately I have been thinking more and more about what this means…

    Now, I am not married, but your blog on this issue is truly treasured by myself as I go through this phase of obeying God’s word and the Holy Spirit’s prompting in my life…God bless you and be glorified…

    • peacefulwife
      February 9, 2014 at 4:20 pm #

      Sandra,

      I love hearing your story!

      It is my understanding that I married Christian women also covered their head to show their submission to their fathers. It is a “sign of authority” a sign that we are in submission to God’s human authorities over us. :)

      May God richly bless your walk with Him!!!!

  30. happywife
    March 26, 2014 at 2:03 pm #

    April,
    i love so many things you pointed out in this particular writing. Especailly your willingness to obey the Lord. He will bless you so much in this life and the great life to come for that! I also liked how you talked to your husband about this first as well, making sure your honoring him as well through this act. I had never gave this any second look or thought but you really sparked my interest when i read this, because i want to make sure i’m being obedient to the Lord in all things, even though i struggle daily. But i do want to point out just 2 things i’m wondering. i decided to do my own research and just read read read it over and over and ask god to speak to me. A couple things i got was -context- context, context, context is so important when reading the bible. if you dont know the context you can completely misunderstand almost every word! but then i also got this – if the principals Paul used to support head coverings in Corinth was making sure you don’t appear flashy… or giving attenton to yourself… or even glory to yourself and to be under headship of your husband… then maybe the same principals today may be used to suggest that women not wear head coverings, especially if head coverings become objects of attention or attraction- kind of like how the rich woman back then would be more flashy if they had their hair showing, but rich woman today (like at the horse races and stuff) show their flashiness by extravagent hats… Again, i love this article so much. and just like you said when you get to heaven would God really say “you read my word literally and obeyed and i’m upset,” NO! of course not! he would probably be so pleased with you. But it comes down to your heart always with God. and he knows your heart in doing this act. for some people im sure it could be looked at wrong or like you think you are more holy than them or something i dont know people can always find something to complain about, as for me, i am not positive my husband would like it, maybe we can find another way btw me him and the lord to show his headship in my life, i know sometimes when we pray together he puts his hand on me or sometimes over my head and i feel the same way you described you feel when your head is covered. it’s still something i am willing to talk to my husband about tho and pray about and ask God if this is His will for me. I appreciate your insight in making me think and check my obedience to the Lord. I love you April and all you bring to my life through your wisdom! God bless

    • peacefulwife
      March 28, 2014 at 8:32 pm #

      Happywife,

      It’s great to hear from you!

      It is possible to obey God for the wrong motives – to try to gain glory or attention for ourselves. That is possible with tithing, giving to those in need, going to church, praying, loving others, being a godly wife, respecting our husbands, etc… God is very concerned with our motives. If our motives are selfish or ungodly, then what we are doing is sin.

      So, what God desires us to do is to obey Him but for the right reasons – because we love Him and want to please Him.

      Great point!

      Thanks so much! :)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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