Here’s the plan…
- Make time each day to do 1-2 things that make you insanely happy to boost your mood and make you as joyful, content, well-cared for and wonderful as possible. ( Have lunch with a girl friend, exercise, organize a room, visit shut ins at a nursing home, spend time praying and praising God, sing praise songs at the top of your voice, slow down and savor a moment with your sweet children, take a nap, talk with a great girl friend, paint, write, play the piano, go for a walk, etc…)
- Spend a little time making yourself look decent in a way you know your husband will appreciate. Give your best to your man. Your attention to your appearance speaks of respect for yourself and for your husband. He may appreciate a little dolling up. I’m not saying you need to be a beauty queen, but just some effort into your appearance and some feminine, beautiful clothes would be a great idea! Some husbands really love makeup and dressy clothes, others don’t care as much – so this will depend on your particular man.
- Try to clean up the main living space of the house (perfection is probably not necessary, but a bit of maintenance will be appreciated)
- Have supper cooking and about ready if you know when he’ll be coming home – IF you know he likes supper at a certain time or likes to eat right away when he gets home. If he prefers to have about 30 minutes to himself to just unwind after work, then allow him that time and plan for supper to be ready 30 minutes after he gets home.
- Have the children clean up their stuff and have them working on something quietly if possible. Instruct them that when Dad walks in the door, they are to smile at Dad and cheerfully say, “Welcome home, Dad!!!” They can even run and give him a hug, too!
Be thinking of all of your husband’s positive qualities throughout the day and thanking God for him.
If it’s dark outside when your husband comes home, have the porch light on for him.
WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR:
- Stop whatever you are doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (safely, of course!)
- Smile your biggest smile at your husband and look into his eyes. Treat him like he is THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN ON THE PLANET TO YOU!
- Tell him at least one of the following things with sincere enthusiasm – “Welcome Home, Honey!!!” “I’m SO glad to see you!” “I’ve missed you!”
- Give him a real, full-body hug like you mean it.
- Give him a REAL kiss – not a peck. Aim for 5-10 seconds of actual lip-kissing minimum!!! Do not skimp here!
Then – get to know what your husband prefers. Some suggestions:
- He might appreciate a glass of Coke/tea/water or something, especially if it’s hot outside.
- Give him some time alone if he would like that, and tell the children not to bother him during that time and to keep the noise level down.
- Offer him a shoulder rub or foot rub if you really want some extra points.
- Thank him for going to work every day to provide so well for your family.
- He may appreciate having your undivided attention for 10-15 minutes so he can talk with you about his day before supper. (Send the kids out of the room for this!) Some husbands are ok with doing this later. But when you are listening – give him all of your attention, look at his eyes. Don’t offer advice!!!!! Listen and let him know you hear him. Be supportive. Smile! Praise any quality in him that you admire as he is talking.
- Make some of his favorite meals fairly often.
- Keep snacks and drinks he likes on hand.
- Be thoughtful of his preferences, feelings and opinions.
- REALLY listen to him when he asks you to do something and make it a priority.
Some women may come home after their husbands. You can still bless your husband greatly by going to him as soon as you get home, smiling brightly at him, telling him “I am SO glad to see you!!!!” “I missed you!” And you can still give him the full-body hug and a real kiss and let him know that being with you is the best place in the world! Why on earth would he want to be anywhere but here in your arms?
So, I know some of you are thinking, “Why should I have to be the one to go to all this trouble? Why can’t HE do this for me?” Well… as wives we are designed by God to be our husbands’ helper. We are made to brighten their lives, ease their pain, add civility, beauty, companionship, friendship and harmony to their world. If you are not happy with the emotional/spiritual/physical intimacy level of your marriage, I have some great news for you! YOU, precious wife, are the one with the power to get your marriage to the place where you want it to be! But, not to worry!! When your husband sees you treat him like this day after day, he will eventually discover that home is his favorite place to be! Your marriage cannot help but improve when you are careful to treat your husband like he is valuable, and like he is God’s gift to you – and he IS God’s gift to you! He will become a better husband as you become a better wife! And you will have peace and joy before God knowing that You are honoring Him as a godly wife.
The way you welcome him when you first see each other after work sets the tone for the rest of the evening. It is the WIFE who really has the power to set the emotional temperature and tone for the whole family. Your smile, acceptance, welcome, receptivity and pleasant facial expression and voice determine the feelings of everyone in the family! Please use your power to build up your husband and children! You can use your power to be negative, critical, sarcastic, and nasty and you can destroy the souls of your loved ones. Or you can use your words and emotions and verbal talents to affirm, encourage, love, respect and welcome your husband and children. It seems simple, and it is. It works. This welcome home routine helps you build a healthy pattern for your marriage and your family. I pray that you might give it a try and be a wise woman who builds her house!!