The “Welcome Home” Plan

If you are usually home before your husband gets home, you have an incredible opportunity to bless your husband greatly every day after work.

Here’s the plan…

  • Make time each day to do 1-2 things that make you insanely happy to boost your mood and make you as joyful, content, well-cared for and wonderful as possible. ( Have lunch with a girl friend, exercise, organize a room, visit shut ins at a nursing home, spend time praying and praising God, sing praise songs at the top of your voice, slow down and savor a moment with your sweet children, take a nap, talk with a great girl friend, paint, write, play the piano, go for a walk, etc…)
  • Spend a little time making yourself look decent in a way you know your husband will appreciate.  Give your best to your man. Your attention to your appearance speaks of respect for yourself and for your husband.  He may appreciate a little dolling up.  I’m not saying you need to be a beauty queen, but just some effort into your appearance and some feminine, beautiful clothes would be a great idea! Some husbands really love makeup and dressy clothes, others don’t care as much – so this will depend on your particular man.
  • Try to clean up the main living space of the house (perfection is probably not necessary, but a bit of maintenance will be appreciated)
  • Have supper cooking and about ready if you know when he’ll be coming home – IF you know he likes supper at a certain time or likes to eat right away when he gets home. If he prefers to have about 30 minutes to himself to just unwind after work, then allow him that time and plan for supper to be ready 30 minutes after he gets home.
  • Have the children clean up their stuff and have them working on something quietly if possible. Instruct them that when Dad walks in the door, they are to smile at Dad and cheerfully say, “Welcome home, Dad!!!” They can even run and give him a hug, too!
  • Be thinking of all of your husband’s positive qualities throughout the day and thanking God for him.
  • If it’s dark outside when your husband comes home, have the porch light on for him.

     

WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR:

  • Stop whatever you are doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (safely, of course!)
  • Smile your biggest smile at your husband and look into his eyes. Treat him like he is THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN ON THE PLANET TO YOU!
  • Tell him at least one of the following things with sincere enthusiasm – “Welcome Home, Honey!!!” “I’m SO glad to see you!” “I’ve missed you!”
  • Give him a real, full-body hug like you mean it.
  • Give him a REAL kiss – not a peck. Aim for 5-10 seconds of actual lip-kissing minimum!!! Do not skimp here!

Then – get to know what your husband prefers. Some suggestions:

  • He might appreciate a glass of Coke/tea/water or something, especially if it’s hot outside.
  • Give him some time alone if he would like that, and tell the children not to bother him during that time and to keep the noise level down.
  • Offer him a shoulder rub or foot rub if you really want some extra points.
  • Thank him for going to work every day to provide so well for your family.
  • He may appreciate having your undivided attention for 10-15 minutes so he can talk with you about his day before supper.  (Send the kids out of the room for this!)  Some husbands are ok with doing this later. But when you are listening – give him all of your attention, look at his eyes. Don’t offer advice!!!!! Listen and let him know you hear him. Be supportive. Smile! Praise any quality in him that you admire as he is talking.
  • Make some of his favorite meals fairly often.
  • Keep snacks and drinks he likes on hand.
  • Be thoughtful of his preferences, feelings and opinions.
  • REALLY listen to him when he asks you to do something and make it a priority.

Some women may come home after their husbands. You can still bless your husband greatly by going to him as soon as you get home, smiling brightly at him, telling him “I am SO glad to see you!!!!” “I missed you!” And you can still give him the full-body hug and a real kiss and let him know that being with you is the best place in the world! Why on earth would he want to be anywhere but here in your arms?

So, I know some of you are thinking, “Why should I have to be the one to go to all this trouble? Why can’t HE do this for me?” Well… as wives we are designed by God to be our husbands’ helper. We are made to brighten their lives, ease their pain, add civility, beauty, companionship, friendship and harmony to their world. If you are not happy with the emotional/spiritual/physical intimacy level of your marriage, I have some great news for you!  YOU, precious wife, are the one with the power to get your marriage to the place where you want it to be! But, not to worry!! When your husband sees you treat him like this day after day, he will eventually discover that home is his favorite place to be! Your marriage cannot help but improve when you are careful to treat your husband like he is valuable, and like he is God’s gift to you – and he IS God’s gift to you! He will become a better husband as you become a better wife!  And you will have peace and joy before God knowing that You are honoring Him as a godly wife.

The way you welcome him when you first see each other after work sets the tone for the rest of the evening. It is the WIFE who really has the power to set the emotional temperature and tone for the whole family. Your smile, acceptance, welcome, receptivity and pleasant facial expression and voice determine the feelings of everyone in the family!  Please use your power to build up your husband and children! You can use your power to be negative, critical, sarcastic, and nasty and you can destroy the souls of your loved ones. Or you can use your words and emotions and verbal talents to affirm, encourage, love, respect and welcome your husband and children. It seems simple, and it is. It works. This welcome home routine helps you build a healthy pattern for your marriage and your family. I pray that you might give it a try and be a wise woman who builds her house!!

, , , , , , ,

18 Comments on “The “Welcome Home” Plan”

  1. Daniel P. Robertson
    March 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    This is a sure way to make your man feel like a king!

    Ladies, I know it might not seem fair for you to do all of this. Sometimes, it will seem impossible given everthing you have to do throughout the day, especially if you have little ones running around and clinging to your legs all day!

    But what I can say is that if you do this, he will reciprocate in kind by showing your more love and affection (99% of men, anyway).

  2. Dianne
    November 8, 2014 at 8:13 am #

    This is wonderful advice. Thank you. I am not married yet,but I cannot wait to honour my future husband. We women are our man’s glory, therefore it would only be fitting to honour him in the ways described above :)

  3. ochokandelikas
    January 2, 2015 at 9:01 am #

    You have two kids. You probably send them off to school and do all your chores and have your fulfilling part-time career. You have no idea what it’s like to have 8 kids, homeschool all of them, except the oldest which is in college, and have to clean and cook. I also help my husband with his work when he needs me to. And he has the nerve to send me a link to this article because I didn’t have his dinner on time last night. I do everything I can… Even give him sex 2-3 times a week. Whenever he wants. Yet, I’m not good enough. I’m a crappy wife. I have tried doing all these things and he has the nerve to send me this. I can you imagine if I sent him something like this on how to be a peaceful husband? im not a controlling wife like you. I never have been. I know how controlling women destroy men. I saw it growing up. And I have to be directed to your site to read this? Unbelievable! What else do I have to do to satisfy this man?

    • Peacefulwife
      January 2, 2015 at 10:00 am #

      ochokandelikas,

      It is a pleasure to meet you!

      I understand why you are making assumptions about my life – even though they are not all true. I can also appreciate that you have a LOT on your plate right now. And you are right that I don’t have experience with homeschooling or having 8 kids. That would be quite a bit to handle.

      The truth is that I would love to homeschool my kids and not work at all outside the home. My part time career is not “fulfilling” in my mind. In fact, I have been praying for years about being able to quit pharmacy for a variety of reasons. My husband desires me to work part time – so I do. My husband does not want me to homeschool my kids – so we send them to public school because that is what he believes is best. If we could have had more children, I would have loved to have more children – but we are unable to. I would love to adopt children. My husband is not interested in adoption at this time. I am trusting God with that. I accept that my situation is in God’s hands, and I am content if this is His will for me at this time. I am very thankful to get to be with the children we do have as much as I am and I am so thankful for my husband.

      I’m really sorry that you feel like your husband doesn’t think you are good enough because you didn’t have supper ready on time. My husband is pretty laid back and doesn’t get upset about things like that. I can understand that if a husband sends a wife a post like this, it would probably not be well-received.

      I’m glad to hear that you are not controlling. That is awesome!

      Would you like to talk about what is going on a bit more? I am so sorry that you are hurting right now.

      Much love to you! Sending you a huge hug!

      • Peacefulwife
        January 2, 2015 at 10:36 am #

        ochokandelikas,

        Perhaps your husband doesn’t feel that you are a “failure as a wife,” but is just simply asking for things to change a bit around supper time? Perhaps he is just saying that something like this might bless him and make him feel extra loved and appreciated? I wonder if that might be possible?

      • Peacefulwife
        January 11, 2015 at 8:40 pm #

        ochokandelikas,

        I hope you are feeling better!

        I also hope your family, homeschooling and marriage as well as your relationship with God are fulfilling. Those seem like the most rewarding things in the world to me. :)

        Where I find my fulfillment is Christ primarily – but also my family, marriage, and ministry.

        Much love to you!

    • SYTYCheal
      April 17, 2015 at 11:30 pm #

      Your husband sounds like a user, and a loser. I’m so sorry that he was so passive-aggressive with the rock of your family, I hope you are staying sane. 8 kids, my goodness…

      Also, she kind of lashed out there. I don’t think you’re a controlling wife, just a strong one.

      • Peacefulwife
        April 18, 2015 at 7:56 am #

        SYTYCheal,
        Most of ochokandelikas’ comments are on my About page. That is where the majority of the conversation took place. :)

        Thanks so much for reaching out to her in love. I don’t think we have enough information to judge her or her husband – but we can certainly love them both. She shared about how she is not controlling, and I said how wonderful that was. My primary ministry is to wives who tend to be very dominant and controlling – that is what I used to be. But I realize there are many other dynamics, which is why I ask questions to try to understand each marriage and the dynamics before I attempt to direct anyone toward Christ.

        Much love to you!

        Ochokandelikas,

        I am praying for you and my offer still stands if you would like to talk some more. I desire nothing but God’s healing and His absolute best for your life, your marriage, and your family.

  4. Sata
    June 18, 2015 at 6:06 pm #

    So I’m giving my husband scraps if I don’t wear makeup?

    • Peacefulwife
      June 18, 2015 at 6:51 pm #

      Sara,

      Some husbands really love it if their wives dress up a bit for them sometimes. Some prefer no make up. It depends on your particular man. :)

      Interestingly, I wore makeup every night the past 5+ years to bless Greg when he would come home – then we had a talk a few months ago and he said he really didn’t care if I wore makeup or not. :) I even have a post about that here, if you are interested.

  5. marry
    July 1, 2015 at 8:21 am #

    Hi dear…
    I like your post….
    but I try everything for my husband not a single thing effect him I am tired now….he never appreciate me for anything I will be doing for him…..he said that he never feel anything….what should I do

    • Peacefulwife
      July 1, 2015 at 7:05 pm #

      Marry,

      I wonder if you might be able to share a bit more about what is going on? I’m so very sorry that things are so painful and difficult! :(

      • marry
        July 3, 2015 at 6:52 am #

        Hi dear…
        thank for your reply….. thing are like that if I am living with a robot… by this you can understand better… my hubby always behave like a machine with out any filling…. he wants for sites visit for one month…. I only call him he never call me….he use to talk very very less…I ask him how r u dear….he use reply always dear that we have talk yesterday only nothing will change in a day…I nw sites life was very hard I use to talk to him so that he will fell better and I am also alone in the home I also feel good…. but he never ever take interest in talking…… he always so rude I can’t tell you how I feel….he came back from site I clean the house…do everything for him…..make food…..he didn’t say anything to me…. he said he don’t feel anything so do I feel…I do all the good stuff nothing bother him…feelings less talk we have… no feelings no appreciation nothing…..he said I use to think to much….what to do…I am thinking for baby planning now can i

        • Peacefulwife
          July 3, 2015 at 7:48 am #

          Marry,

          Has he always been like this? Is he depressed? Are there mental health issues or addictions going on? Is he under a lot of stress?

          What is his relationship with Christ?

          What is your relationship with Christ?

          How do you respond when you feel so unappreciated and ignored?

          Much love to you!

  6. marry
    July 4, 2015 at 6:05 am #

    Hi dear…thanks for understanding me and reply me…..
    I will tell you about myself… I am computer engineer….I love talking… love making healthy conversation…. I cook very nice as people say….I also like meeting people making relationship…..

    but now a after marriage because of my husband behaviour…. I am feeling very lonely and mental stress….I am very depress now a days….

    he don’t have any family responsibility…. no addictions of any things…..and I don’t think so he has any stress….but he very workaholic man….work is worship kind of man….I am not telling that he didn’t take care of me…..
    but he never talk never share any things to me….he has a routine life wake up in morning…go to office…. come back have tea….then dinner….. and last laptop game news fb etc etc…after that only sleep nothing else he has to sleep because he has to work tomorrow end….
    and this routine life I am nothing to him….he don’t understand that because of me only this life is going only my cooperation efforts….. when I need my time he doesn’t have…. I only talk he never if I don’t talk he never talk…..if I am in depression he never ask what happened to me why I am behaving weird….I am only one who tell him I am angry with you…. then he say sorry and nothing else end of every conversation….. I use pray daily for him…but now I am very depress angry hurt…his behavior hurts my heart….he is a machine he is inteligent but he will not response

    • Peacefulwife
      July 4, 2015 at 8:53 pm #

      Marry,

      Do you believe that he is depressed? Or does he tend to be very quiet and prefer to be alone all the time even with other people?

      Do you believe he has hatred toward you, or is it possible that he doesn’t like a lot of words and conversation and that he bonds in other ways?

  7. marry
    July 6, 2015 at 5:21 am #

    Hi dear….
    I don’t think so he is a depress person….or he hates me….I think that he want to be alone every time….he don’t want to do any conversation also simple bore type person……he only want to live in his own world only….he doesn’t care how other people think about him…..

    he care me but not my feelings…. he always hurts my feelings…. but he never bothered…..what should I do about my feelings….

    • Peacefulwife
      July 6, 2015 at 7:24 pm #

      Marry,

      So he is just a very quiet person in general? He likes to be alone?

      Was he always like this?

      What do you do when you feel hurt now?

      What is your relationship with Jesus?

You are welcome to leave constructive, edifying, respectful comments or sincere questions. I do have some restrictions on what comments I am able to accept, you may find my comment policy at the top of my home page.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,785 other followers

%d bloggers like this: